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1
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,388
Guys, I can't find my phone!
2
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,432
Oh, not again.
3
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:18,226
All right, Claire lost her phone.
I'll check the fridge.
4
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,894
Claire, cabinets. Jayden, bathroom.
5
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:23,732
Grant, cushions, in between, underneath
and most importantly, right on top.
6
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,985
Let's go, people, the first 48 seconds
are the most important!
7
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,738
Hey, Solana, I found your tarot cards.
8
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:32,615
My tarot cards! Oh, thank Vishnu.
9
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:36,369
- Bathroom's clear.
- Guys, found a phone.
10
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:40,707
Wait, that's my old phone.
Oh, it still has 4%.
11
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:44,044
- Aww. Look at all of our old pictures.
- Look at us at the beach!
12
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:47,338
And look, that cooler with the cup holders
on it. Where is that thing?
13
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,840
I thought you had it.
14
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:54,304
Okay, people, we've got a missing cooler,
wheels on the back, so this thing moves.
15
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,473
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
16
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,815
Yep. Claire, your phone's in your purse!
17
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,205
The way the tarot cards work is
I will lay down a card,
18
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,665
and that card reveals
what the universe has in store.
19
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,876
- You're gonna tell us our future?
- In a sense.
20
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,294
In a nonsense.
21
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:30,423
Don't listen to her. The cards have power.
22
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:33,134
I'll pick one for myself so you can see.
23
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,388
Oh. The Temperance card.
24
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:40,725
That means there's patience,
peace, and calm in my future.
25
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,352
- I want a reading.
- Oh. Me too.
26
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,729
- Do us together.
- Together.
27
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:50,151
Claire and Jayden, ah,
you got the Two of Cups.
28
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,070
Unified love and partnership.
29
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:55,365
- Jaydie, we're Two of Cups.
- Yeah.
30
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,867
Two gorgeous cups, sitting in a cabinet
31
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,745
waiting to be filled up
with limoncello spritz.
32
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,623
- I have to pee.
- I'm coming with you.
33
00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:04,833
Duh.
34
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,377
Did Claire follow Jayden
into the bathroom?
35
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:08,711
Two of Cups.
36
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,798
If you just accept the cards as truth,
you'll stop being confused.
37
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,716
- I'm not confused.
- You seem confused.
38
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,803
- There's nothing confusing happening.
- For you there is.
39
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:24,269
Tarot cards are unproven and fake
and get people worked up over nothing!
40
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,062
Sorry.
41
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:34,821
It's a shame you think it's fake
because you got the Lovers card.
42
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,699
There's a soulmate in your future.
43
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:41,703
Congratulations. Any guy would be lucky
to be with you, Chels.
44
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,788
Oh, thanks, Grant.
45
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:47,542
But judging by my current situation,
the only love in my future
46
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,295
is between me and my weighted blanket.
47
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:54,299
I call him Lennie because he does
not know his own strength.
48
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,011
Okay.
49
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,722
- Do me next.
- Okay.
50
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,437
- The Tower card.
- Oh, hell yeah!
51
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:11,149
I wonder which tower I'm gonna go to.
52
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,317
There are so many.
53
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,445
There's the Eiffel Tower,
the Leaning Tower,
54
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,364
and the power tower
where I do my pull-ups.
55
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:23,494
No, Grant, the Tower card represents
disaster, upheaval, and danger.
56
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,578
Danger?
57
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,580
Me?
58
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,083
On a leg day?
59
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,384
Okay, for the Laura Dern Drag Night,
60
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,429
I was thinking about going
as Jurassic Park Laura Dern,
61
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,223
but it's just so frumpy.
62
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:46,184
What do you think
about Wild at Heart Laura Dern?
63
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:50,772
Oh, the polka dot dress, the '90s hair
whipping around in a convertible.
64
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,774
That and still Laura is the girl
65
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,360
that you could call at 2 a.m.
just to talk.
66
00:03:56,819 --> 00:04:00,031
- Oh, hey, babe, how was work?
- Crazy.
67
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:04,077
I spilled 11 soups.
I wasn't counting, but Howard was.
68
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,788
- Hi, girl!
- Hi!
69
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:11,918
The last time I saw you,
you were about to keep a stray squirrel.
70
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:15,004
- Did that end up happening?
- No. He wouldn't get in my car.
71
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,840
But that's okay
because I see him everywhere.
72
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,384
What's up with you guys?
73
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,427
We're talking about this party.
74
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,805
Yeah, it's Laura Dern themed,
so we're all going
75
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:27,016
dressed up as Laura Dern from her roles,
and get this.
76
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:31,229
- It's called Derning Down the House.
- Oh, so, fun!
77
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:32,730
Wait, why Laura Dern?
78
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,400
Oh, she's one of the top five queer icons.
79
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:39,696
Yeah, it goes, Laura Dern,
Janet Jackson, Judge Judy, Liza,
80
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,824
'cause if not, the gay elders would panic,
and E.T. in a wig.
81
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,619
Oh. But why is she an icon?
82
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:51,541
She played Ellen DeGeneres' girlfriend,
and then, got blacklisted for years.
83
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:55,503
And she was in Big Little Lies,
which is our NBA All-Star game.
84
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:58,172
Oh...
85
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:02,302
Oh, my God. You should come with us.
She should come, shouldn't she?
86
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,013
Yes! I mean, totally.
87
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:09,517
Maybe. Yeah, I just... I don't even think
it's gonna be that fun.
88
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,477
I'd hate for you to be bored.
89
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,731
I could never be bored with you, Jaydie.
90
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,151
Unless you don't want me to come.
91
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:23,489
- Of course I want you to come!
- Yay.
92
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,408
Oh, so fun.
93
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:26,491
Ooh.
94
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,413
Why would you invite her?
95
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,333
Why wouldn't I?
I thought you were best friends.
96
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,377
Oh, yes, she is my absolute bestie,
97
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:39,714
and we're together all the time,
and it's great, but...
98
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:41,758
I don't know.
99
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:46,012
I also need our nights out
with our gay gaggle gabbing in gay garb.
100
00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:50,933
You live in a house that's basically
queer Xanadu, but I don't.
101
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,353
You saw how I had to explain
the Laura Dern thing.
102
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:56,814
I just don't want to be
Claire's tour guide in gay Narnia.
103
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,693
JK, just Narnia. The whole thing
takes place inside of a closet.
104
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:03,780
I get it!
105
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,074
You need boundaries. It makes sense.
106
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,868
Just tell her,
and I'm sure she'll understand.
107
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:10,828
Oh, no, I can't.
108
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,457
It would hurt her too much. It's fine.
109
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:18,252
Claire has a super short attention span.
She probably forgot about it already.
110
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,587
Check it out!
111
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,256
I'm going as Wild At Heart Laura Dern!
112
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,091
Oh, great!
113
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:30,264
Hey, how's it going over here?
114
00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:35,853
- You okay? You look a little freaked out.
- I am. It's the Tower card.
115
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:39,023
I stubbed my toe on the bench press
and got a paper cut on my tongue.
116
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,942
Were you licking an envelope?
117
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,277
That's the thing. No.
118
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,699
- Did you hear that?
- Yes. It's the sound of the gym.
119
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:52,245
It's clanging weights
and a playlist called Ibiza 2018.
120
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,039
I'm in danger, Chelsea. Serious danger.
121
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:58,584
You're fine. All that tarot card
stuff is complete hogwash.
122
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,088
Sorry, I'm reading Dickens.
123
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,049
I don't know. It could be real.
124
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,385
The universe works in mysterious ways.
125
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:10,471
Hey, guys. Peaceful day, isn't it?
126
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,055
No.
127
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,644
You freaked Grant out
with your tarot card stuff.
128
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:20,231
Now he jumps every time Buff Billy does
a deadlift, which is all day.
129
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,026
God, that guy's ass is big.
130
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,405
Will you please tell Grant
he's not in danger?
131
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,157
I can't do that.
132
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:33,202
The tarot cards have spoken, and they've
proven to be right time and time again.
133
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,998
For example, look at me
after receiving the Temperance card.
134
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:41,502
Yeah. Nothing says temperance
like a fluorescent orange sports bra.
135
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,673
That card has brought me
patience and calm.
136
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:49,677
Even though you question my beliefs,
I remain completely at ease.
137
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:51,888
Wow. You're right.
138
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,433
Solana used to get this eye twitch
whenever you disagreed with her, and now
139
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:56,976
nothing!
140
00:07:57,059 --> 00:08:01,272
Solana, it's not that the cards are real.
It's that you want them to be.
141
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:05,568
And yet I find myself taking
a full day of yoga classes.
142
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,153
How do you explain that?
143
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,114
You don't find yourself
taking a yoga class,
144
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:14,118
just like you don't find yourself putting
that top on five straps at a time.
145
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,996
You're obsessed with my top today.
146
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:20,124
It all makes so much sense.
147
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:24,378
Grant, no, it doesn't. I promise,
you're not in danger of being hurt.
148
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,007
- Chelsea does have a point.
- Finally. Thank you, Solana.
149
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,092
Danger is all around you.
150
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,761
- What?
- Oh, my God!
151
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,681
The card can take on many shapes.
Maybe danger is coming your way.
152
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:39,185
Maybe you have to prepare for danger
coming to someone close to you.
153
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,939
Anyway, off to my yoga. Namaste.
154
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,361
Did you hear that?
Everyone around me is in danger.
155
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,948
Stop deadlifting, Buff Billy!
Your ass isn't safe here!
156
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,748
♪ Do you like it, do you like it? ♪
157
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:03,251
These drinks are wild!
158
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:06,796
Iced Teabag, Mai Tai Me Up,
A Cock-in-Tail!
159
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,257
I love how gay bars just go there.
160
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,509
Why don't we have names like this
at Franklin's?
161
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:14,845
I don't think a straight bar would
appreciate the gay sex puns, Claire.
162
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,849
These are gay sex puns?
163
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:24,063
Oh. Okay, I'm gonna get a white wine. Mm.
164
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,773
I wonder what that's about.
165
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:29,402
- She's so fun!
- Love.
166
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,946
- Yeah.
- Jay, what's wrong?
167
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:37,451
Oh, I don't know. It's just Claire is
just, like, super here.
168
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,370
And I gotta explain stuff.
169
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:40,997
I told you to talk to her.
170
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,999
I know. It's not Claire's fault.
171
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,460
I'm just gonna, as the straights
would say, roll with it.
172
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,631
Jayden, look at that guy.
173
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,091
How is he so hairless?
174
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:56,178
Part genetics, part lasers, sweetie.
Just keep walking.
175
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:02,435
Dillon, Jayden, whoa, whoa, whoa,
you guys are friends!
176
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:03,894
Why are you fighting?
177
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:06,731
Oh, Claire, we're not fighting.
178
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:10,318
We were just getting excited about
how fierce Lady Gaga will be in her 80s.
179
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,035
Jayden, what's going on?
180
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,537
Should we go? The cops are here.
181
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,999
And they've already arrested someone!
182
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,711
It's fine, Claire, he's a sub.
183
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,922
I don't care if he's a part-time teacher.
184
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:41,015
Sorry, Gladys, it's too dangerous
to work your lats. today.
185
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,811
I'd walk you to your car,
but I have others to protect.
186
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,066
Grant, your concern for your clients
is very sweet,
187
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,276
but that's the third session
you've canceled.
188
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,529
Danger surrounds me.
I can't take any chances.
189
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,450
What if something happened to you?
I couldn't live with myself.
190
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,453
Oh. Hmm. Yeah.
191
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:07,249
Hi. Do you guys have an icepack
I could use for my knee?
192
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,460
- Yeah.
- Oh, no, your knee is hurting?
193
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,462
It's all my fault.
194
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:15,049
What? No. This is an injury
I've had since I was a kid.
195
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,550
- There you go.
- Thanks.
196
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,887
But you did cancel our session,
which I booked to rehab my knee.
197
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,391
So I'm responsible for hurting your knee!
198
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,434
See? It's happening.
199
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,144
Grant, stop, okay?
200
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,356
What if I proved
that this tarot card stuff isn't real?
201
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:31,941
Then will you calm down?
202
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,109
I guess.
203
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,445
Okay, all right,
so I got the Lovers card, right?
204
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:41,033
Which means I will miraculously find love
today, which of course, I won't.
205
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:43,077
So here, watch this. Um...
206
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,289
Hey! Hey, you in the blue shorts.
207
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,209
Hi. Do you want to go out with me?
208
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,127
Yeah.
209
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:56,424
- The Lovers card! It worked!
- Oh, okay, hang on, hang on.
210
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,842
Um...
211
00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:01,178
Are you sure?
Because, you know, you don't even know me.
212
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:05,766
I happen to have a vicious rash on my...
213
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,604
I have a genital rash too.
214
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,523
What are the odds?
215
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:16,902
- It's a perfect match!
- No, I don't actually have a genital rash.
216
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,488
That proves it. I'm canceling all classes.
217
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,450
I'm happy for you two,
but this place is a death box.
218
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,788
So? What are we thinking?
219
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,249
I rub ointment on you.
You rub ointment on me
220
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:31,459
and...
221
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,087
No.
222
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,138
Jayden!
223
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:48,350
I've been looking everywhere for you.
Look what I got us.
224
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,771
These are Red Headed Bottoms.
Which refers to...
225
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,857
Butts, Claire.
Just assume it's always butts.
226
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,777
Are you okay? You seem off.
227
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,111
It's just...
228
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,946
I...
229
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:07,077
Oh, no, it's just these shorts have
sapped me, emotionally.
230
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:12,917
Well, I have something that will cheer
you up. I signed you up for the contest.
231
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,544
The Greatest Moments
of Dern-story contest?
232
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,589
- Yeah.
- I forgot to sign up. Thanks, Claire.
233
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:21,008
- Oh, no probs, Jaydie.
- All contestants,
234
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:25,221
come up to the stage
for The Greatest Moments in Dern-story!
235
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,347
That's our cue.
236
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,933
- Our?
- Yeah.
237
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:33,771
- I signed us up together, as a team.
- The Two of Cups.
238
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,443
Where's Grant?
239
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,532
Oh, no. Are you injured?
Where does it hurt?
240
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,869
- Why did you cancel all the yoga classes?
- Because of the Tower card.
241
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,371
Yoga is too dangerous.
242
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,498
What if somebody falls asleep
during savasana
243
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,542
and sleepwalks into the big fan and dies?
244
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,425
- That's not gonna...
- Someone else wakes up.
245
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,586
They see guts everywhere.
246
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,815
They have a weak heart,
so they go into cardiac arrest!
247
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:03,592
Grant, I needed that yoga class
to stay calm.
248
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,304
Without it, I'll get angry,
which will make me even less calm,
249
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:11,350
which will make me even angrier,
which will make me very angry.
250
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:14,019
Solana, you are clearly all riled up.
251
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,189
Why don't you just admit it?
The cards aren't real.
252
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,569
- Those cards are real.
- Hmm.
253
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,692
That twitch in your eye's
telling a different story.
254
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,241
- You...
- What?
255
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:28,701
You!
256
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:29,784
Hmm?
257
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,873
Hmm. Namaste!
258
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:36,624
You see?
259
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:44,925
I will not not be rich!
260
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,347
Up next for the moment-off,
261
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:54,727
Claire and Jayden doing a scene
from Jurassic Park!
262
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:58,647
Remember, you're
a sick dinosaur on the brink of death.
263
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,317
So just lay there. Yeah?
264
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,278
Yes!
265
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,410
Is this West Indian Lilac?
266
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:17,875
There's only one way to be positive.
I'd have to see the dinosaur's droppings.
267
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,960
Roar! That's my poop!
268
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,547
What are you doing?
You don't have any lines.
269
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,175
Roar! I'm protecting my poop.
270
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,761
I'm hungry! Bring me a goat!
271
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,271
Oh. Wait.
272
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,606
Jayden!
273
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:41,857
Oh, wait!
274
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,941
Jayden!
275
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,070
Was that last part from Blue Velvet?
276
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,952
I can't believe how scared I got
over those silly tarot cards.
277
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,872
I'm sure your clients will forgive
you, except for Gladys.
278
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:00,334
But she lives on holding grudges
and Lipitor.
279
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,756
I guess your Lovers card
wasn't real either. I'm sorry.
280
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:10,511
Yes, alas, love is, as they say,
not in the cards.
281
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,522
Chelsea!
282
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,441
Are you choking?
283
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,110
Chelsea, Chelsea!
284
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,078
Are you okay?
285
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:42,960
What just happened?
I couldn't breathe.
286
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:46,547
Grant, you saved my life.
287
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:50,342
- I'm so glad I was here. You could have...
- I know.
288
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,094
Wow.
289
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:53,846
The tarot cards.
290
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,014
They're real.
291
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,398
Jayden, can we talk?
292
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,652
Jayden, will you please let me in?
293
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,823
- Fine.
- Jayden, I'm so sorry about the dinosaur.
294
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,867
I know I wasn't supposed to say anything.
295
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,578
And then I ruined the whole night,
and it's all my fault!
296
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:19,997
- And I'm so, so...
- Claire, stop, please.
297
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:22,499
It's not about you.
298
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,377
Well, it feels like it is.
299
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:30,632
Feels like you don't want me here at all.
What's going on?
300
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,052
Okay.
301
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,475
- You know when you go to the bank?
- No. I do all my banking on my phone.
302
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,770
Just pretend you go to the bank.
303
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:44,021
Okay. Okay.
304
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:49,568
- I think I see a robber.
- Oh, no, no.
305
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:54,406
He's not a robber. He's just
a straight guy in a stupid beanie.
306
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:58,619
And everyone else in the bank
is straight too,
307
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,164
except me, and maybe the twink
behind the counter.
308
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:06,293
But forget about him. He's gotten so high
and mighty since he bleached his hair.
309
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:12,174
The point is, the bank is,
by default, a straight space.
310
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:18,263
And the world is full of straight spaces.
Doctors' offices, gas stations.
311
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,350
H and R Blocks.
312
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:25,813
Explaining why I spend so much on iced
coffee to my accountant is so annoying.
313
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,190
- But Lou is so good.
- He's the best.
314
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:32,152
But still, it's a lot.
315
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:37,950
Being gay in a straight world
can be exhausting.
316
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,203
So having spots like this,
317
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,413
it's so important to me.
318
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,250
A place where I don't feel like...
319
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,796
a stranger in a straight land.
320
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,843
Does that make sense?
321
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:59,304
Yes. Totally.
322
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,099
Jaydie, I'm so sorry.
323
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,936
You shouldn't have to explain
these things to me,
324
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,730
but I'm really glad you did.
325
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:13,443
- I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
- Oh, that's okay.
326
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,613
I know when I get upset,
I can be kind of a...
327
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,365
- hurt puppy dog.
- Hurt puppy dog.
328
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:25,080
I would rather be a hurt puppy dog
than lose your friendship.
329
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:34,173
The fact that you love me
for who I am means so much to me.
330
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:38,010
And I'm not saying you're never allowed
to go to gay bars
331
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:40,929
or come to the Pride Parade
so you can take pictures of me
332
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,890
looking incredible on a float.
333
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,226
I mean, your cheekbones
highlight themselves.
334
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,899
It's gay icon, E.T in a wig!
335
00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:55,485
Yeah, I got my calendar mixed up.
Wrong theme night.
336
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:02,325
Hey.
337
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,288
- What are you up to?
- Just re-energizing my crystals.
338
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,582
Full moon tonight,
so they should charge quickly.
339
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,043
Right.
340
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,879
So, Solana. Um...
341
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,259
- About these tarot cards...
- Chelsea, I don't wanna argue right now.
342
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:24,848
I don't have the energy,
and neither do my crystals... yet.
343
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:32,856
No, I was just wondering,
have there been any studies done?
344
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:38,195
You know, like double-blinds,
to speak to the actual efficacy.
345
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:42,824
I'm sensing a different tone here.
Did something happen?
346
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:46,578
Something involving... love?
347
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,292
No. No, nothing happened. Um...
348
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,297
Maybe a little something happened.
349
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:03,553
Something a little difficult
to otherwise explain. Um...
350
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,101
Honestly, those tarot cards
aren't real, right?
351
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:12,980
Maybe the question is not
if the cards are real,
352
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,690
but if you want them to be.
353
00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:24,615
Yeah.
354
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:29,830
I think maybe I do.
355
00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:58,692
- Hey.
- Hey.
356
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:04,281
Do you have a second?
There's something I wanna tell you.
357
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:07,200
I actually wanted to talk to you too.
358
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,953
- You did?
- Yeah.
359
00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:12,788
Come on in.
28478
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