All language subtitles for Mr. Sunshine - 01x04 - Hostile Workplace.REAL.HDTV.XviD-2HD.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

(Closes car door)

- We have a problem.
- Oh! God.

Yeah. I know. It's
1,000 degrees in here.

What are you talking about?

Well, the air conditioning
must be broken. Aren't you hot?

I wear a thick velvet
Puma suit ten hours a day.

I've learned to hydrate in
ways that disgust even me.

Look, I want a raise.

I work my ass off for
this place every night.

We've been over this.

You're only supposed to
work four hours a week.

And yet, you're always here in
the suit, and no one knows why.

I'll tell you why.
Because I engender pep.

People need pep.

And I am pep.

I would really like to think that
this conversation's almost over.

If you don't give me
a raise, I will quit.

Leave the suit at the front gate.

I'm at rock bottom.

Hey! How's everybody doin'?

It's a little hot.

Yes, it is. It is a little hot.

And that's a problem,
because tomorrow night,

thousands of people are
coming here for the big game.

And today, the team needs to practice.

So can you, as maintenance
men, make it a little less hot,

with your tools and your
vast knowledge of ducts?

- Where's Robert?
- I'm Robert.

Right. Yes. Of... of course.

I... I was talking about the
air conditioning guy Robert.

You mean Louis. He quit because
you kept calling him "Robert."

Okay. Well, we have to track
him down. Who... who can do that?

- Louis used to track people down.
- So Louis was a fairly big loss.

Listen, people can't work this way.

We have to cool this place down as soon
as possible, don't you think so, Don... ny?

That's Ted.

Well, you guys know how hard it
is to remember all these names.

- We know your name is Ben.
- Well, that's easy. I look like a Ben.

So in the spirit of that, what do
you say today, I call you all "Steve"?

My name actually is Steve.

Well, what a win-win for you, Steve.

Can we get the air conditioning fixed...

Steves?

Crystal, do not worry. I'm
on the air conditioning thing.

And we'll apologize to the
women basketball players

and fill their lockers
with extra lady razors.

They must go through
those things like candy.

Oh, I don't care about that, other than
how it's completely murdering my hairdo.

The maintenance workers
are all in a tizzy

because you apparently insisted
on calling them all "Steve"?

How do you know about that?

- That happened, like, three minutes ago.
- A little bird told me.

Ted Littlebird. That handsome native
American fellow who works in maintenance.

Jim's his brother.

We have two Littlebirds working here?

You'd think that would
have come up more often.

Exactly my point. You don't know
the name of anybody who works here,

and they've had it
with your insensitivity.

That is not fair.

I have made a solid effort
to connect with people here.

I may not know all of their names,
but when they walk down the hallway,

I'll say, hello... hell... hello there.

And there's one guy that
I always call "chief."

Unfortunately, it's not one of the two
Indian gentlemen you mentioned earlier.

Well, regardless, the Steves refuse to
go back to work, so you have to apologize.

And for God's sake, learn their
names. Basic management skills.

Oh, please. Like you know
everybody's names?

I most certainly do.
And I've worked very hard at it.

- What do you think I do in here all day?
- Oh, I don't want to think about that.

(Knocks on glass) Pardon me. Crystal?

I just wanted to drop off
this week's banana bread.

And I think that I can get
you the attendance breakdown

- a day earlier this week.
- Oh, Diane.

Diane.

Oh, Diane...

Thank you.

Pleasure.

Bye, Diane. (Sniffs) You see?

In order to be a boss who is liked and
to get the most out of your employees,

you have to do the basics. (Thuds)

Say hello, learn their names,

and every now and then,
throw them an ice cream party.

People like me. I would
even go so far as to say,

they find me to be an unbridled delight.

(Laughs) Oh, no, they don't.

Okay. Well, you know what?
If they're not gonna notice

the effort I've been putting out there,
then...then the hell with them.

I'll fix the air conditioning myself.

Well, do it! Do it quickly!

(Gasps) Oh!

(Both laugh)

There you two are!

I have been meaning to tell you that watching
your relationship bloom and flourish

has been both fascinating
and enlightening.

- Thank you?
- Uh, okay. Sure. Yeah, thank you.

And since you two are
really making it work,

I'd love for you to meet my new fella.

What do you say to a double date?

- Really? That'd be great!
- What an honor, Crystal.

Let's say Friday.

- Oh, Darius will be thrilled!
- Oh. Darius?

That's my fella's name.
Darius Washington.

- Ring a bell, Alonzo?
- Hmm. No. Should it?

Well, I just assumed all
you brothers knew each other.

Ha ha.

Um, you know what, Crystal?

I just realized, we
have something Friday.

- I don't think we do.
- I'm certain we do.

Well...

Some other time, then.

Um, did you just pick up
on what was going on there?

- Yeah. As subtle I it was, I got it.
- She obviously just asked us out

because she's dating a
black man, and then assumed

that you would know him
because he's a "brother."

Look, it's no surprise
Crystal is insensitive.

This is the woman who handed
Yo-Yo ma her dry cleaning.

But the point is, she wants
to have dinner with us.

She's trying. I think
we should have said yes.

- Really?
- Yeah.

And who knows? She spends time
with us, and the next time,

she won't ask the guys from
Los Lobos to park her car.

(Elevator bell dings)

Hey, Ben, what you doin'?

Well, the Steves refuse to work still,

so I figured I'd take a look
at the air conditioning myself.

I'm fairly handy. I once
installed blinds in my bathroom.

That's not true. I've never done that.

- You're an amazing man, Ben.
- Thank you, Roman.

So I got the results of the poll.

- The popularity pool.
- You've been vindicated.

People like me.

Oh. I do not know what
"vindicated" means.

Well, you must have slanted
the question somehow.

How did you ask it?

- "I like Ben. Do you?"
- And no one...

- Not a one.
- Let me finish the question!

(Machines humming) Okay,
fine. So they don't like me.

I'm not their friend, I'm their boss.

I shouldn't have to learn everybody's
names just to get them to do their jobs.

It's time for everybody to grow up
and start being professionals.

Yeah, I gotta learn their names.

♪ (Men) Mr. Sunshine ♪

♪ Yay ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

I have a great idea on how
you can learn people's names.

It's a system I used when I
went to the University of Phoenix

so I could get to know
my fellow classmates.

But that's an online
university that has no campus.

- Which made it that much harder.
- I see.

Okay. So what I did was, I wrote everyone's
name and put their photo on a card.

Now all we have to do
is think of a description

of that person that
matches their initials.

We write it on the card, and then
you can study 'em like flash cards.

Man, that's actually a really good idea.

I know. (Chuckles)

Okay. Fred Patterson.

Fred Patterson. F.P.

How about "friendly personality?"

Uh, "friendly personality"
is a little too vague.

I'm gonna go with "fat... pumpkin."

Wow.

I mean, look at his face.
That's like a blimp.

And he's got a very odd skin hue.

Doug Miller... "disgusting moles."

- No...
- Look at those things.

Look at that one right there.

No, I don't... that... yeah.

Wayne Fredericks... "walks funny."

Ben, I don't... I don't
think this is right.

No, it's right.

He walks like there's a giant
beach ball between his knees.

This is so much fun!

I'm gonna do this with
everybody who works here!

Michelle Gritzer... "my... grand..."

Hmm. I'll remember that.

Oh, Crystal.

I checked our calendar,
and Alonzo was right.

We are free Friday.

Oh, well, great. I'll go ahead
and make the reservations.

I think everyone will
be happy with barbecue.

Barbecue? Why barbecue?

(Chuckles)

(Singsongy) That's a good one.

Excuse me, everyone.

I have something to say.

Oh, golly.

Frozen burritos down, fellas.

Thank you for your
enthusiasm, Robert Ketterman.

You see, Jeff Sheehan...
Fred Patterson...

I may have come across a
little harsh today, Doug Miller.

We could blame it on the heat.

But I'd like to apologize, Leo Peccini...

Ryan Mills, Rod Sherwood,

for my behavior, Bruce McAdam,

and both Littlebirds, Ted and Jim.

Well, thanks, Ben.

Thanks a lot.

You're welcome, Robert Ketterman.

Boy, it sure is hot in here.

You know what? I suppose we could take
another crack at fixing the air.

Oh, I would really
appreciate that, fellas.

(Chuckles) Sure, Ben.

Whoa! You scared me, Steve Gurtner.

Roman, I have found
your job for the day...

Pack up all the fans and put
'em in storage, because I did it!

I learned everybody's names,
and they're fixing the air.

That's awesome!

They patted me on the back.
They smiled at me.

No one's ever smiled at me before,

except for that woman in
bookkeeping, creepy smile...

Carol Sanderson.

Oh, no. That's not a smile,
that's a wince.

- She has chronic back pain.
- Oh, it doesn't matter.

The point is that I started this
just to get people back to work,

but then I enjoyed connecting.

I think I like it when
people smile at me.

I'm gonna go let them
smile at me some more.

Yeah! Just like that.

Nice job, Fred Patterson.

Hey, thanks, Ben.

- Hey, great sweeping, Angie Albertini.
- Have a good night, Ben.

Hey, thanks for holding the
elevator, Wayne Fredericks.

(Elevator bell dings)

That is one happy ficus, Matt Smith.

You bet, Ben.

Hey, everyone! The air
conditioning's back on!

Ahh.

Here you go, Ben.

I hope you don't mind,
I made it with walnuts.

I don't mind. I love banana
bread. I love walnuts.

And I love you, Diane de la Guardia.

Oh, you're nice.

Ooh.

(Voice warbling) Hello.

(Normal voice, laughs)

(Voice warbling)
♪ Do you believe ♪

♪ in life after love? ♪

♪ I can feel something
inside me say ♪

♪ I really don't think
you're strong enough, no ♪

♪ do you believe in
life after love, love, ♪

♪ love, love, love, love ♪

♪ I can feel something
inside me say ♪

♪ I really don't think
you're strong enough, no ♪

♪ do you believe in life
after love, love, love ♪

Hey, Leo Peccini, have you
noticed that it's hot again?

Why is that, Jeff Sheehan?

Hey, it's Angie Albertini.

Hey, Fred Patterson.

Fred Patterson.

Fred Patterson, what's up?

Don't you mean "fat pumpkin"?

Ooh.

Tina Lavinson.

(Muffled) What?!

Benjamin, because of your
ridiculous flash card scheme,

it's hot again, and I
look like Art Garfunkel.

- What am I going to do?
- Here's what you're gonna do...

You're gonna throw that ice
cream party, and they're gonna

forget about what you did,
they're gonna go back to work,

the air conditioning
is gonna go back on,

and it'll all be a bridge
over troubled water.

Crystal, this runs deeper
than an ice cream party.

Well, we can do a crepe party,
but the line gets so long.

It was a great day.

I didn't feel like I was
working with employees.

I was working with friends!

I told you to learn their names,
not befriend them like you all spent

four years together at
the University of Phoenix.

But I liked being friends
with them. It felt good.

Last night, Diane
made me a banana bread,

and I'm not usually
a fan of quick breads.

Well, I'm terribly sorry you're
gonna lose all your playmates,

but we have a real problem that
needs to be solved right now.

I want it all. I want
them to be friends with me,

and I want them to go back to work.

- Did you want to, uh...
- (Smacks buttocks)

Oh, there you are.

I just wanted to tell you how much
I'm looking forward to tomorrow night.

- Yeah. Can't wait.
- Oh, and, um...

Let's make sure to get in a
little girl talk beforehand.

I need the skinny on how to
handle the societal stigmas

of being in that kind of relationship.

And what kind is that?

Oh. Don't make me say it out loud.

I can't do it. I can't
be okay with this.

I am not going to be part of
Crystal's token interracial couple.

- Honey...
- No, I'm not gonna calm down.

Just because you can tolerate
it doesn't mean that I have to.

Okay. You're new to this.

If you try to fight every little indignity,
you're gonna exhaust yourself.

And at the end of the day,
getting upset about it

doesn't make Crystal any
less petty or ignorant.

She never wanted to have dinner with me.

Now all of a sudden, I'm
black, and she's interested.

- You are not black.
- Well, I could have been.

My mom was very progressive in her 20s.

Okay. In the interest
of clearing the air,

we're gonna do something
called an affinity circle.

I web searched "mendi relationships"...

Came up with some pretty dark stuff...

Incest... apparently very
difficult to overcome.

If you've made out with your
grandfather, forget it. Just forget it.

Now I know that I've hurt your feelings,

so this is your opportunity to express
your true feelings about me.

And then we can move
on and be friends again.

Now just to make sure we don't
all talk at the same time,

and in honor of the only
book that I've ever read,

"Lord of the Rings"...
"Lord of the Flies,"

Roman...

Bring to me the conch!

- This is the conch you got?
- It was the only one I could find.

This is San Diego. They made
the library out of conches!

All right. Just go sit down.
Did you bring the pad of paper?

- Yeah, yeah...
- Do you have a pen?

Okay. So... Who wants to go first?

Don't be shy. Anyone?

Anyone?

I say, anyone?

Um, on Mondays, you
can be a little grumpy.

What a great start.
Way to get the ball rolling.

Roman, jot that down.
"Watch grumpiness on Mondays."

Okay, who's next? Anyone?

- (Ben) Anyone?
- Ridiculous.

What's holding you people back?

Benjamin, you're a preening,
self-centered narcissist,

and your socks are too design-y.

What's with all the stripes?
You're not Beetlejuice.

You're a human man. Next.

The only time you've
ever looked me in the eyes

was to check your hair in my glasses.

Okay. (Under breath) Jot that down.

And while we're at it,
your hair is... stupid.

(Normal voice) Well, Diane, that...
that... that... that kind of hurts.

It's weird you've only
ever read one book.

And, you know, you clear
your throat too much.

That's true. You really do.

"Good... (Clears throat)

"Morning... (Clears throat)

- Everyone."
- (Employees clear throats)

The conch! The conch!
You have to be holding the conch!

And what's up with that chin?
You barely even have one.

Yes! I... it's kind of like your
face cascades into your neck.

There's no definition.

- It's more like you have a... chinneck.
- A chinneck!

- Yeah, a chinneck.
- You sleep in your office all the ti..

- We can see you, you know?
- (Employees talking over each other)

Okay, okay, that's it. Stop it.

You're right. I should not
have called you all those names.

I tried to be your friend, but
obviously, that ship has sailed.

So, Fred, fix the air conditioning.

Matt, restock the candy room.

All of you, go back to doing
the jobs that you're paid to do!

That's it! End of meeting!

You're really bad at affinity circles.

- (Fred) Brutal.
- (Employees speak indistinctly)

Hey, you two! Wait up!

If you have a sec, Darius
is coming by to say hi.

Alonzo, you must know him
from one of those meetings

with the brothers, with
those silly handshakes you do.

And those houses you live
in should be condemned.

Disgusting places... liquor bottles
all over the place, couches in the yard.

I don't know how you live like that.

Crystal, you have a petty
and ignorant view of race.

Crystal Cohen, I have had it
with your racist stereotyping.

And are you really growing an afro?

You look like Diana Ross
mid-concert in Central Park.

Well, Alonzo, my hair is
frizzy because it's hot in here.

- Hi, sweetie!
- Oh, there you are, honey.

Mwah. Mwah. You seem to have caught
us at a very awkward moment...

Rusty!

Rusty Washington! Oh, my God!

- Alonzo? Hey, buddy!
- (Laughs) Hey!

You know Darius?

Yeah, we went to college together,
but I know him as Rusty.

When did you switch to Darius?

It's my middle name. See, I'm a dentist,

and it seems that people are a
little leery of a dentist named Rusty.

Hilarious! Yeah, we were
fraternity brothers toge...

Oh, God.

And we did have a silly handshake.

And we did go to meetings.

And our frat house should
have been condemned!

Crystal, I'm so sorry. Big mistake.

Wait. Not so fast, though.

What about the "societal stigmas" of
being in "that" kind of a relationship?

You know...

Older women, younger men.

Alonzo is ten years older than me.

Oof! Duh.

Okay, everyone, listen up!

Let's hear a nice round of applause for Ben
and his great idea for an ice cream party!

Chocolate and vanilla? Wow.
That makes up for everything.

I told you this was not going to work.

Hmm. Giving my employees ice cream
has always cheered them up in the past.

Or was that health
care benefits? (Gasps)

Toffee bits!

Look, maybe this is the
way it has to be, you know?

Maybe I'm kidding myself
that I could be friends

with people who work for me.

Well, you know, you
got to know their names.

But you didn't really get to know 'em.

Ugh. That seems so hard.

Well, you did it with me,
and I'm your friend.

Yeah. I... I guess so.

And I'm a handful. (Laughs)

So I bet, you know, you can do it again.

Yeah, okay. Just don't watch me do it.

Uh, good night.

Good night.

So you got anything
going on this weekend?

Oh, man. Both my kids are sick,
and my wife's out of town.

It's just me.

Oh, no. No, no, no.
I'm not asking you to work.

Oh, good. I don't have kids or a wife.

Gonna get drunk, race go-carts.

Okay. Well, that sounds fun.
Maybe sometime you and I can...

- Oh, man. Both my kids are sick...
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Ben.

Maybe sometime.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- See you on Monday.
- See you on Monday, Ro...

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