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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:18,719 OUR CROSS COUNTRY ODYSSEY COMES TO A CLOSE 2 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:25,426 AS OUR HEROES APPROACH EL LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 3 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:29,297 WHERE DESTINY AWAITS. 4 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:30,231 COME ON, MAN. 5 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,100 YOU HAVEN'T BEEN FUN FOR LIKE 300 MILES. 6 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,401 SAY SOMETHING, COME ON. 7 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:34,568 OK. 8 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,170 OK, HOW'S THIS? 9 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,406 TURN OFF THE FUCKING CAMERA BEFORE I BEAT YOU TO DEATH 10 00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,774 WITH IT AND BURY YOU ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. 11 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,210 THE END. 12 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,277 CUT. 13 00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:44,778 SORRY, BRO. NO CAN DO, MAN. 14 00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,480 THIS IS CINEMA VERITAS. 15 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,349 THIS IS GONNA BE AWARD WINNING STUFF. 16 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:52,320 DOCUMENTING OUR INCREDIBLE JOURNEY OF DISCOVERY HERE. 17 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,488 THE ONLY THING INCREDIBLE WAS THAT I WAS ACTUALLY 18 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,490 STUPID ENOUGH TO BRING YOU ALONG WITH ME. 19 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:57,491 WOAH. 20 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,860 WHERE IS THE GRATITUDE, MAN? 21 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:03,531 I MEAN, YOU KNOW I GAVE UP A LOT TO MAKE THIS TRIP WITH YOU. 22 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,798 A LOT OF WHAT? 23 00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,334 EVERYTHING. MY HOME. 24 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,302 MY CAR. MY JOB. 25 00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:09,303 YOUR HOME WAS YOUR CAR. 26 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,205 AND YOUR JOB WAS SELLING WEED OUT OF THE TRUNK. 27 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,107 MAY I REMIND YOU THAT YOU'RE ALSO UNEMPLOYED, 28 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:16,444 YET YOU SPENT A SMALL FORTUNE ON THIS FRUIT MOBILE. 29 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,779 THIS CAR IS A COLLECTOR'S ITEM. 30 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:22,383 * 31 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,817 IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH LIKE TEN TIMES WHAT I PAID 32 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,018 FOR IT IN A FEW YEARS. 33 00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:28,222 OR NOTHING IN LIKE ONE YEAR WHEN THE SHOW'S OFF THE AIR 34 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:29,690 AND YOU LOOK LIKE A DOUCHE BAG. 35 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,859 DAVID HASSELHOFF DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A DOUCHE BAG. 36 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,228 DAVID HASSELHOFF IS A PUSSY MAGNET. 37 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:37,298 WELL, EXCUSE ME, MICHAEL KNIGHT, FINANCIAL ADVISOR. 38 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,333 THIS CAR IS AN INVESTMENT. 39 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,235 WHATEVER I END UP SELLING IT FOR, IT'S STILL NOT GOING TO BE 40 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,904 ENOUGH TO RECOUP MY LOSSES FROM SUPPORTING YOUR ASS. 41 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:47,508 OH, EXCUSE ME, NOT EVERYONE INHERITS THEIR 42 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:48,576 FAMILY FORTUNE. SORRY. 43 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,644 WHAT FORTUNE? I INHERITED MY UNCLE'S STRIP CLUB. 44 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,513 YES. EXACTLY. 45 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,715 WHICH MAKES YOU THE RICHEST MAN I KNOW. 46 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:58,786 SHANE NAMINSKI, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE. 47 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,854 WAIT, HOLY- 48 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,324 CHECK IT OUT, MAN. 49 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,626 WOW. WE MADE IT. 50 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,727 WOOHOO! 51 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,861 WE MADE IT. 52 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,863 FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD, BABY. 53 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,265 IT'S JUST YOU AND ME. 54 00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:12,666 BUTCH AND SUNDANCE. 55 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,235 LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY. 56 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,836 BARTLES AND JAYMES. 57 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,339 CHEECH AND FUCKING CHONG, BRO. 58 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,373 THIS IS IT? 59 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:20,741 WHAT'S IT LIKE INSIDE, MAN? 60 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:21,909 IS IT TOTALLY INSANE. 61 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,277 IT'S PACKED EVERY NIGHT. 62 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:24,245 WALL TO WALL. 63 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,947 MY UNCLE PRACTICALLY INVENTED THE STRIP CLUB. 64 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,350 WHY'D HE LEAVE IT TO YOU ANYWAY? 65 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:30,851 BECAUSE I'M AWESOME. 66 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,186 BRILLIANT. 67 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,654 CHARMING. 68 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,589 AND I WAS THE ONLY RELATIVE HE WAS STILL SPEAKING WITH 69 00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:36,690 WHEN HE DIED. 70 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:37,791 WOW. 71 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:39,793 DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE. 72 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,229 [TONE] 73 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,263 YEAH. 74 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,698 [SIGHS] 75 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,334 HEY EVERYBODY. 76 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,868 I'M TOMMY "7" 77 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:52,373 THE... DIRECTOR OF THIS DOCUMENTARY FEATURE. 78 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,942 I HAPPENED UPON A VIDEO CAMERA. 79 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,510 I THINK I HAVE THE EYE FOR FILMS. 80 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,480 I'VE CERTAINLY SEEN ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON- 81 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,515 HEY, GUYS, I'M TRYING TO FILM SOMETHING OVER HERE. 82 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:05,219 THERE'S GONNA BE, YOU KNOW, THRILLS, CHILLS, 83 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,654 TITTIES, PILLS. 84 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,921 ALL OF THAT. 85 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:11,625 A WORLD THAT YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF TOMMY "7". 86 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:12,926 [TALKING IN THE BACKGROUND] 87 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:13,794 ARE YOU GUYS KIDDING ME? 88 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:16,264 I'M TRYING TO FUCKING FILM OVER HERE. 89 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:21,702 * 90 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,263 YOU THINK WE'RE UNDERDRESSED? 91 00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,331 MAYBE I SHOULD'VE WORN A TIE. 92 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,865 MAYBE I SHOULD'VE WORN SOCKS. 93 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:52,800 THIS IS CASHED. 94 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,502 HEY, GENTLEMEN. 95 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:55,936 TOP OF THE MORNING. 96 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,571 WELCOME TO PARADISE. 97 00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,307 SADLY, YOU MISSED AMBER'S SET, 98 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,041 BUT YOU'RE IN LUCK 'CUZ SHE'S STILL WORKING IN A 99 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,611 FREELANCE CAPACITY. 100 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,913 [GIGGLING] I'M ALWAYS WORKING. 101 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,349 ALWAYS. 102 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,284 THANKS, BUT WE'RE GOOD. 103 00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,286 NOT, AS GOOD AS ME, BABY. 104 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,423 [SIGHS] I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT DIDN'T WORK. 105 00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:16,857 JAZZ HANDS! 106 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,492 IT'S THE FIREWORKS OF YOUR TITS. 107 00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:19,660 HOW MANY TIMES DO I GOTTA SAY THIS? 108 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:20,961 THAT WAS A TOTAL COCK BLOCK MOVE. 109 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,062 WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? 110 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,331 I.D.S, FELLAS. 111 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,932 [CHUCKLES] DUDE, I'VE GOT UNDERWEAR 112 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,000 THAT ARE OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK, COME ON. 113 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,370 WELL, UNFORTUNATELY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA DOESN'T RECOGNIZE 114 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:32,773 YOUR UNDEROOS AS A VALID FORM OF IDENTIFICATION. 115 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,608 LET THE GUY DO HIS JOB, TOMMY. 116 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,544 KISS ASS. 117 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,679 SHANE NAM- YOU'RE ERNIE'S NEPHEW. 118 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:39,580 YEAH. 119 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,348 SORRY FOR CARDING YOU, BRO. 120 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,982 NO WORRIES, I'M GLAD YOU DID. 121 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,651 I'M PAULIE. 122 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,619 REALLY SORRY ABOUT YOUR UNCLE. 123 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,087 HE'S A GOOD MAN. 124 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,657 HE HIRED ME HERE AND HE REALLY SHOULDN'T OF. 125 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,659 PAULIE? PAULIE? I'M COMING, I'M COMING. 126 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,561 ONE SECOND, ONE SECOND, I'M HERE, I'M HERE, I'M HERE. 127 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,829 COMING, AND I'M HERE. 128 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,665 I'M ALSO A LITTLE FUCKED UP. 129 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,866 [GIGGLING] 130 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,100 LAYLA, THIS IS SHANE. 131 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,535 HE'S THE NEW OWNER. 132 00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:02,370 HI. 133 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,572 [LAUGHING] OWNER. 134 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,840 RIGHT. SEE YA. 135 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,108 [LAUGHING] 136 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,043 WAIT, DON'T RUN, COME ON. 137 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:13,080 REMEMBER, THE COMMON MAN SEEKS ONLY COMFORT. 138 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:16,016 THE WISE MAN SEARCHES FOR VIRTUE. 139 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,420 WALK TALL. 140 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,855 RIGHT. 141 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,557 WALK TALL. 142 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:30,864 * 143 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,566 OH, LOOK AT THAT ONE. 144 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,834 I SEE HER. 145 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:38,672 GIVE IT UP FOR SANDY. 146 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:39,973 COME ON, GUYS, HELP HER OUT. 147 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,676 SHE'S SUPPORTING A DRUMMER AND A CRANK HABIT. 148 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,111 WE SHOULD CHECK HIS- THAT WOULD BE GOOD. 149 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,514 -LICENSE AND HIS CREDIT CARD. 150 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,416 SOMEBODY CLAP FOR HER. 151 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,484 [CLAPS] 152 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,088 OH MY GOD. 153 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,725 CHECK HER OUT. 154 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,828 HOME SWEET HOME. 155 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:04,665 THIS IS NOT HOW I REMEMBER IT. 156 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,866 WHERE IS EVERYBODY? 157 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,501 IT'S LIKE OUR OWN CLUB HOUSE. 158 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,069 ALL TO OURSELVES. 159 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,741 PARTY TIME. 160 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,409 I NEED SOME OF THIS. 161 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,984 HEY. -HEY. 162 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,555 WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE? 163 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,657 NOBODY. 164 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,425 THANKS, OFFICER. 165 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,996 DUDE, THIS PLACE IS TRULY FUCKING- 166 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,498 AWESOME. 167 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,667 NO SHIT. 168 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:40,834 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 169 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,603 COME ON, TOMMY. 170 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,174 HEY, YOU WORK HERE. -YEAH. 171 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,041 CAN WE GET SOME HELP? 172 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,209 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 173 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,744 I'LL HAVE A COKE. 174 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,846 COKE? 8 BALL? 175 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,214 YEAH. -NO! 176 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,649 I CAN GET IT. 177 00:06:55,683 --> 00:07:01,054 I KNOW A GUY WITH A BIG ASS BOAT FULL OF COKE. 178 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,056 IT'S COKE BOATS. 179 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,024 I WAS ON IT. 180 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,025 YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON IT. 181 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,994 I SAW GUNS, 182 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,195 COCK FIGHTING, 183 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,663 MIDGET HOOKERS, 184 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,164 DURAN DURAN WAS WATERSKIING OFF THE BACK 185 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,700 AND I WAS AT THE RAIL AT THE BRIDGE. 186 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,703 WAIT, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON A FUCKING BOAT. 187 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,204 I WAS. 188 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,573 I AM SINBAD, BITCH. 189 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,675 BUT NOT THE COMEDIAN. 190 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,143 THAT WAS ON STAR SEARCH RECENTLY. 191 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,878 HE'S- HE'S GONNA BE HUGE ONEDAY. 192 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,114 BUT NOT AS HUGE AS THAT COKE BOAT. 193 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,716 IF YOU WANNA SEE HOW A BOAT REALLY WORKS, 194 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:29,517 I COULD SHOW YOU 195 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,885 THE UDDER, EVERYTHING, THE WHEEL. 196 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,655 [LAUGHING] 197 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,624 WELCOME TO THE LOVE BOAT. 198 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,025 AH! 199 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,794 OOH. 200 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:46,567 THAT SINBAD IS NO HOWIE MANDEL. 201 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,036 [MOANING] 202 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,037 SORRY ABOUT THAT. 203 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,905 AND THEM. 204 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,006 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? 205 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,975 I'M LOOKING FOR HARRY. 206 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,710 OH MY GOD. 207 00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:58,879 YOU'RE ERNIE'S NEPHEW. 208 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,280 YEAH, I'M SHANE. 209 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,782 SORRY, NICE TO MEET YOU. 210 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,818 OH, HE HAD PICTURES OF YOU EVERYWHERE. 211 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:05,819 SO... 212 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,055 YOU'RE THE BIG HOTSHOT WALL STREET GUY, HUH? 213 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:08,989 NOT ANY MORE. 214 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,624 I USED TO BE. 215 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,693 IT'S- IT'S A LONG, SAD STORY. 216 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,062 WELL, YOU GOT A SHORT VERSION? 217 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,197 OK... 218 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,533 A SHORT VERSION. 219 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,969 BIG SHOT WALL STREET GUY LOSES HIS JOB, 220 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,137 GOES BROKE, GOES CRAZY. 221 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,674 HIS UNCLE LEAVES HIM A STRIP CLUB IN LOS ANGELES. 222 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,808 PAULIE! 223 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,009 OH, YOU'RE SO FUCKING HOT. 224 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,143 HE'S THROWING PENNIES AT ME. 225 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,814 OH, AND BRINGS HIS IDIOT MANCHILD BEST FRIEND WITH HIM. 226 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,215 THAT IS A SAD STORY. 227 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,950 YEAH, I WARNED YOU. 228 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:37,985 HARRY'S IN THE OFFICE. 229 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,687 FOLLOW ME. -THANKS. 230 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,829 I COULD USE SOME FRIED CHICKEN. 231 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,998 I'M- -I'M PAULIE. 232 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,734 AND I'M- -I WORK THE DOOR. 233 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,869 I'M OFFICER PARKER. 234 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,106 I'M FROM MENASHA, WISCONSIN. 235 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,242 SO, WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO LOS ANGELES? 236 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,713 WELL, I ACCIDENTALLY SHOT A COW. 237 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,681 I HAD TO TRANSFER OUT. 238 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,349 SO... 239 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,653 L.A. SEEMED LIKE IT WAS A GOOD PLACE TO GO. 240 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,588 AND THIS IS HARRY'S OFFICE. 241 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,890 HARRY? 242 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,926 YOU MUST BE SHANE THE WONDER BOY. 243 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:19,760 THIS IS HARRY. 244 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,261 HE'S OUR MANAGER. 245 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,130 SLASH PRODUCER. 246 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,231 SLASH TALENT COORDINATOR. 247 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,966 SLASH OWNER. 248 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,035 OWNER? 249 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,370 YOU AND ERNIE WERE PARTNERS? 250 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,239 YEAH. 251 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,007 HOW MUCH DO YOU OWN? 252 00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:39,379 WELL IT WAS ORIGINALLY 50% BUT OVER THE YEARS, 253 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,248 I'VE HAD TO SELL BACK A BIT HERE AND THERE, 254 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,850 SO IT'S A LITTLE LESS. 255 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,652 HOW MUCH LESS? 256 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:49,890 I THINK MY OWNERSHIP STAKE STANDS AT 3.5%. 257 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,258 SO... 258 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,393 HERE'S TO THE NEW PARTNER. 259 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,095 UP THE EMPIRE. 260 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:55,929 [PILLS DROPPING] 261 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,064 HARRY... I'LL GET IT. 262 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,032 OH FUCK. 263 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,669 OH. 264 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,236 THAT IS- THAT IS A FEAST. 265 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,406 OH I WOULD LOVE TO STUFF THAT WITH CORN BREAD 266 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,941 AND GIBLETS AND BACON 267 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,944 AT 400 DEGREES AND SERVE IT FAMILY STYLE. 268 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:16,216 YOU ARE NEVER GETTING NEAR MY KITCHEN, HARRY. 269 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,118 NEVER? EVER? -NEVER. 270 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,353 OH COME ON, THANKSGIVING IS COMING UP. 271 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,922 YEAH, NOT SOON ENOUGH. 272 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:22,856 ALRIGHT. 273 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:25,125 YOU KNOW, I NEED A DRINK. 274 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,860 YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER DRINK. 275 00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:29,697 OH, I DO. 276 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,998 SO, UH... 277 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,700 I GUESS WE SHOULD TALK BUSINESS. 278 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,167 YEAH. 279 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:34,968 LET'S DO THAT. 280 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,204 LET'S- LET'S CRUNCH SOME NUMBERS. 281 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:41,341 LET'S SPREAD OUT SOME SPREAD SHEETS. 282 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,342 OK, UH... 283 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,011 GREAT. SO UH... 284 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,279 GENERALLY SPEAKING, CASH FLOW, 285 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,015 WHAT'S THE BIG PICTURE LOOK LIKE? 286 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,117 UH, IT LOOKS A LOT LIKE TITANIC. 287 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,952 YOU KNOW, POST ICEBERG. 288 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,287 YOU KNOW, IF EVERYTHING WAS ALSO ON FIRE, AND THEY WERE 289 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,124 SURROUNDED BY EXPLODING SHARKS. 290 00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:02,129 AND EVERYONE HAD LEUKEMIA AND DID A LOT OF BLOW. 291 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,431 SO, NOT GOOD? 292 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,999 NO. 293 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,768 NOT GOOD, NO. 294 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,102 BUSINESS IS DOWN. 295 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,303 IN FACT, BUSINESS IS FUCKED. 296 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,806 FUCKED IN THE ASS. 297 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,775 NOW, I WOULD LOVE TO STAY HERE AND FREAK THE FUCK OUT 298 00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,377 WITH YOU ALL DAY, BUT... 299 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,413 I'M NOT NEARLY DRUNK ENOUGH TO BALANCE OUT ALL THESE WONDERFUL 300 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,951 MEDS, SO I'M GONNA REMEDY THAT SITUATION RIGHT AWAY. 301 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,719 I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK. 302 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,887 OK. 303 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,923 I NEED A DOUBLE BOURBON AND AN ENEMA. 304 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,963 WELCOME ABOARD. 305 00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,099 HEY, UH... 306 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,301 HAVE YOU SEEN MY FRIEND TOMMY? 307 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,169 NO. 308 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,737 NOT FOR AWHILE. 309 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,841 [SCREAMING] 310 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,309 AM I BLOWING YOUR MIND? 311 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,477 [MOANING] 312 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,478 SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME. 313 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,747 JEFF, JEFF. 314 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:56,383 MY NAME IS JOSH. 315 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,985 I'M SORRY... 316 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,487 TOMMY, 317 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,890 WE SHOULD FORM A BAND. 318 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,758 WE SHOULD. 319 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:07,060 I'VE BEEN TOLD I'VE GOT A GOLDEN VOICE. 320 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:10,230 [TONE] 321 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,098 I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, DERRINGER. 322 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,001 LIKE, CAN WE- CAN YOU GO DO SOMETHING 323 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,468 PRODUCTIVE INSTEAD OF PRETENDING TO BE 324 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,536 STEVEN SPIELBERG? 325 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,940 DO YOU FEEL LIKE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN RESPECTING YOUR 326 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,142 AUTHORITY HERE SINCE YOU TOOK OVER THE STRIP CLUB? 327 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,511 YEAH, I THINK THE BUSINESS MODEL I'VE REDESIGNED HERE 328 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,179 IS TAKING EFFECT. 329 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,181 I THINK THINGS ARE FALLING INTO PLACE. 330 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:31,184 AND, UH, GOOD LEADERSHIP IS ABOUT DISCIPLINE. 331 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:32,352 I RUN A TIGHT SHIP. 332 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,087 AND THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE RESPECT. 333 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,789 THAT'S WHAT IT'S REALLY ALL ABOUT. 334 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:36,957 RESPECT. 335 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,059 [WHISTLING] 336 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,099 [PANTING] 337 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,036 [SCREAMING] 338 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,373 COME ON, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 339 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,543 UH, YOU'RE JUST BANGING THE SIDES NOW. 340 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,912 [KNOCKING] HEY GUYS. 341 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,313 [SCREAMING] 342 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:03,917 HEY! HEY! 343 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,419 HEY! 344 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,520 [SCREAMING] 345 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,890 COME ON. 346 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,226 [CLASSICAL MUSIC] 347 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,895 WOAH, WHAT THE FUCK, MAN? 348 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,931 NOT COOL AT ALL, BRO. 349 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,332 HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE? 350 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:20,868 WITH MY KEY. 351 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,336 I'M THE NEW OWNER. 352 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,238 CAN YOU TURN THE MUSIC DOWN? 353 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,976 SORRY, THAT TUNE JUST DRIVES HER CRAZY. 354 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,243 [SIGHS] 355 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,346 I'M DOING MY MASTERS THESIS ON SEXUAL MOTIFS IN 19TH CENTURY 356 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:34,982 GERMAN ORCHESTRA MUSIC. 357 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:35,949 UH, GOOD FOR YOU. 358 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,184 STAY IN SCHOOL. 359 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,351 SAGE ADVICE, BOSS. 360 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,586 SO, WE COOL? 361 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,855 NO, WE'RE NOT COOL. 362 00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,857 [CHEERING] 363 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,225 TOMMY SAID IT WAS COOL. 364 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,294 [SINGING] 365 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,463 I AIN'T GOT NOBODY. 366 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,966 -NOBODY, NOBODY, NOBODY. 367 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,169 IS THIS NOT COOL? 368 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,573 SHANE, DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? 369 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,376 BESIDES DRESSING LIKE CALIGULA AND BANGING THE ENTIRE STAFF? 370 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,245 NO. 371 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,980 I'M JUST TRYING TO BOOST MORALE. 372 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,448 IT'S MANAGEMENT 101. 373 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,350 YOU SHOULD READ DALE CARNEGIE. 374 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:13,020 DALE CARNEGIE DOESN'T WORK HERE. 375 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,956 AND IF YOU KEEP HAVING ALL NIGHT NAKED MORALE SESSIONS, 376 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,357 YOU WON'T BE EITHER. 377 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,191 LOOSEN UP, MAN. 378 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,560 JUST HAVE A SIP. 379 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,661 GET 'EM OUT NOW. 380 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,096 PLEASE. 381 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,264 [GROANING] 382 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,465 OH, MAN. 383 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,533 EAT A DICK. 384 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,434 GOOD MEETING. 385 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:28,568 HIT IT! 386 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:29,903 [ALL SINGING] 387 00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:34,174 I AIN'T GOT NOBODY! 388 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,144 WOO, YEAH! 389 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,378 [TOMMY] WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME IN GENERAL? 390 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,381 DO YOU THINK I'VE BRIGHTENED UP THIS PLACE SINCE I GOT HERE? 391 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,183 LIKE A FUCKING LILY. 392 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,218 LIKE A BEAUTIFUL LILY. 393 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,419 IT'S INCREDIBLE. 394 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:50,323 YOUR ENERGY IS LIKE 395 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:54,261 A TIDAL WAVE OF BUTTERFLIES. 396 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,230 BUT THEY'RE ALL FUCKING COOL BUTTERFLIES. 397 00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,398 DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 398 00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,699 LIKE CLASSY BUTTERFLIES. 399 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:00,700 YEAH. 400 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,702 WITH LIKE- MAYBE LIKE 401 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,305 LIKE MEMBERS ONLY JACKETS WITH GOLD CHAINS- 402 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,341 BUT A TOP HAT EXTRA AND A MONOCLE. 403 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,377 YES. YES, PITT. 404 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:15,515 * 405 00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,550 I CAN'T MAKE ANY SENSE OUT OF THESE FINANCIAL RECORDS. 406 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,619 WHAT KIND OF BOOK KEEPING IS THIS? 407 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,354 IMPROVISATIONAL. 408 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:22,622 YEAH, MORE LIKE IRRATIONAL. 409 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,124 EH, POTATO, POTAHTO. 410 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,558 HARRY, YOU GOT A MINUTO? 411 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,660 HEY, PITT, YEAH, COME ON UP HERE. 412 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,462 SHANE, THIS IS PITT REDMAN. 413 00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:32,099 AND THIS IS HIS LOVELY LADY CHANCY. 414 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,333 AN ABSOLUTE PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 415 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:36,569 JUST SO YOU KNOW I THINK OF THIS CLUB LESS AS A CUSTOMER, 416 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,005 MORE OF A SECOND FAMILY. 417 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,106 [LAUGHING] 418 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:42,976 WHICH IS REALLY GOOD BECAUSE HIS FAMILY ARE ASSHOLES. 419 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:47,114 SO WAIT, YOU WORK FOR THE CLUB? 420 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,048 YEAH- YEAH. 421 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,150 PITT REDMAN HERE IS AN INDESPENSIBLE PART 422 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,051 OF THIS OPERATION. 423 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,085 OPERATION. 424 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,420 THAT'S MY FAVORITE GAME. 425 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,554 DID YOU EVER PLAY IT? 426 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,623 YOU TAKE THE TWEEZERS AND YOU GOTTA GET OUT HIS LITTLE 427 00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,392 FUNNY BONE AND THEN YOU MISS AND IT RRRRR. 428 00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:00,493 IT'S SO FUN. 429 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,195 YOU KILL THE GUY EVERY TIME. 430 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,664 WE SHOULD HAVE A GAME NIGHT AND PLAY THAT. 431 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,166 WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU DO HERE? 432 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,267 DO YOU GUYS LOVE CLUE? 433 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,735 OR MONOPOLY? WE COULD PLAY MONOPOLY. 434 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,303 I CALL TOP HAT RIGHT NOW. 435 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:14,007 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE THE LITTLE FUCKING IRON. 436 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,675 EVERYTIME I HAVE TO GET THE IRON 437 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,577 AND IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M DOING HOUSEWORK. 438 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,747 OK, HON, SOMETIMES WE TALK ABOUT YOU BEING OVERBEARING. 439 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,215 -NO I DON'T. AND TALKING SHIT. 440 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,350 -NOPE. NO WE DON'T. -YES WE DO. 441 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,418 AND YOU SAID NAME ONE TIME THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT. 442 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:26,286 YEAH, NAME ONE. NAME ONE. 443 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,354 AND I SAID ALL THE TIME. 444 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,788 -NUH UH. NO. AND YOU SAID FUCK YOU, 445 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,257 I HAVEN'T EVEN DONE THAT ONE TIME. 446 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,424 WELL GUESS WHAT- -YEAH FUCK YOU- 447 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,659 THIS IS THE TIME. 448 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,294 IT IS? 449 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,596 RIGHT NOW. 450 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,265 I'M SOWWY. 451 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,067 IT'S OK. 452 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,302 [KISSING] 453 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,071 EXCUSE ME GUYS. 454 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,639 WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT WE PAY YOU FOR? 455 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,676 UH, MY TITLE IS... 456 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,544 FOOD AND BEVERAGE SUPPLY. 457 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:54,147 SPEAKING OF WHICH, HERE IS THE FOOD AND BEVERAGE ORDER. 458 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,148 AHH. 459 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,416 FOOD AND BEVERAGE SUPPLY- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, 460 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,286 YOU'RE THE GUY WE'RE PAYING FOR EVERY MONTH FOR ALL THIS STUFF. 461 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:00,553 SHANE. 462 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:05,558 EVERY THRIVING BUSINESS HAS A CERTAIN COST STRUCTURE, RIGHT? 463 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,328 I MEAN YOU'VE GOT TO SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY. 464 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,063 WE'RE NOT THRIVING OR MAKING MONEY. 465 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,164 AND WE DON'T SERVE FOOD. 466 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:13,066 I MEAN WHAT IS THIS CRAP? 467 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,168 $600 A MONTH FOR CHICKEN WINGS? 468 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,336 IT'S CODE FOR WEED. 469 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,704 NO, IT IS NOT. 470 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,672 THAT IS CODE FOR PERCODAN. 471 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:23,110 YES, SHRIMP COCKTAIL IS CODE FOR WEED. 472 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,644 $500 A MONTH FOR BLUE CRAB. 473 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,346 WHAT'S BLUE CRAB CODE FOR? 474 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,081 WELL, THAT'S ACTUALLY BLUE CRAB. 475 00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:31,451 MY UNCLE DALE HAS A FISHING LICENSE IN MARYLAND. 476 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,553 HARRY LOVES THE BLUES. 477 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:34,687 IT IS GOOD. 478 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,556 YOU KNOW, YOU COOK IT WITH SOME WINE AND SOME BUTTER. 479 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,392 IT'S JUST- IT'S HEAVEN IN YOUR MOUTH. 480 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:40,660 YOU GOTTA HAVE SOME, SHANE. 481 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,262 YOU KNOW WHAT, AS OF RIGHT NOW GUYS, 482 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,731 NO MORE INVOICES FOR BLUE CRAB OR ANYTHING ELSE. 483 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,765 NO FOOD. THAT'S IT. 484 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:46,533 YOU KNOW, THAT IS GOOD. 485 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,135 I DON'T LIKE THE I.R.S. EITHER. 486 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,336 NO PAPER TRAIL. 487 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:50,437 YOU'RE AMAZING. 488 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,438 GOOD IDEA, SHANE. 489 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:54,174 BUT THIS ISN'T GOING TO EFFECT CHANCY'S SALARY 490 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,308 OR POSITION AT ALL? 491 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,410 SHE WORKS HERE? WHAT DO YOU DO HERE? 492 00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,512 I'VE BEEN A DANCER HERE FOR YEARS. 493 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,181 I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU DANCE. 494 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:05,252 WELL, SHANE, SHE IS NOT A STAGE DANCER AS SUCH. 495 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,587 SHE'S MORE OF A FLOOR DANCER. 496 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,656 MORE OF A HOSTESS. 497 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:10,890 SLASH DANCER. 498 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:15,595 YOU KNOW, STUFF THAT BETTER SUITS HER PARTICULAR SKILL SET. 499 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,464 UH, WHAT SKILL SET? 500 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,366 SHE HAS A CLUB FOOT. 501 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,234 THIS IS NOT A CLUB FOOT. 502 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:22,235 YEAH, TECHNICALLY THAT'S A HAMMER TOE. 503 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:24,637 AND YOU COULD HAVE THAT SURGICALLY CORRECTED. 504 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,173 I DON'T LIKE NEEDLES. 505 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,640 OK, YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT'S IT. 506 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,142 IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE DANCING HERE, 507 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:31,644 YOU'RE GOING TO BE DANCING UP THERE, ON STAGE, AND- 508 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,681 AND- HARRY, JUST GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, MAN. 509 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,316 RIGHT. RIGHT. 510 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,884 HE'S NOT SERIOUS ABOUT THAT DANCING THING, IS HE? 511 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:38,851 OH GOD, NO. 512 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:40,453 NO. 513 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,455 GOD, NO. 514 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:47,294 * 515 00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,772 YOU DON'T REMEMBER LIKE ONE TIME WHEN I DID THIS? 516 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:00,940 OH, OK. 517 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,275 REMEMBER THAT? 518 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:03,343 IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW. 519 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:06,279 I WASN'T PARTICULARLY STARING AT ANYTHING BUT... 520 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,113 BUT THE FRANKENSHOES. 521 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,248 NO, I KNOW YOU WERE LOOKING AT IT. 522 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,417 SO I WAS LIKE, FINE, I'LL JUST FUCKING BRING IT OUT. 523 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,784 I'LL JUST BRING IT OUT, 'CUZ YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT. 524 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:12,952 RIGHT HERE. 525 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,187 OK. GOD. 526 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,622 HERE, HERE. 527 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,889 WHAT? NOTHING. NOTHING? 528 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,291 WELL I MEAN YOU'RE STILL WEARING A BRA. 529 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,826 NOTHING. NOTHING. 530 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:20,860 HUH, NOTHING? 531 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,762 YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT. 532 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,497 NO, JUST THIS, RIGHT? 533 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,365 YEAH, I GOT THAT. 534 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,200 I CAN FIX IT. 535 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:28,701 BUT I DON'T WANNA. 536 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:35,475 * 537 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,312 IRONY IS THE ALIBI OF FETISH. 538 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,848 [TOMMY] SO, WERE YOU A POLICE OFFICER IN WISCONSIN? 539 00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:44,584 I WAS AND THEN I SHOT THE COW, 540 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,286 AND THEN I WASN'T. 541 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,955 YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A DOMESTIC DISPUTE. 542 00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:52,925 YEAH, I HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT COW. 543 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,327 I'M JIMMY. 544 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,562 AND I'M JOSH. 545 00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,630 AND OUR DAD, HARRY RUNS THIS PLACE. 546 00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,666 WELL, MY DAD RUNS THIS PLACE. 547 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,600 HE'S ADOPTED. 548 00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,503 HE'S JUST AS MUCH MY DAD AS HE IS YOURS. 549 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,604 YOU KNOW THAT? 550 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:07,974 DAD PUT ME IN CHARGE BECAUSE I'M HIS REAL KID, OK? 551 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,310 DO YOU HAVE DAD'S HOME NUMBER? 552 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,411 WATCH THIS. 553 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,479 WHAT'S HIS HOME NUMBER? 554 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:13,546 I DON'T HAVE TO CALL HIM. 555 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,515 WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WHERE I CAN JUST SEE HIM. 556 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,916 YOU HAVE A SEVERE DRUG PROBLEM. 557 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,918 YOU CAN'T STOP EATING NUTS, OK? 558 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,620 AND YOU'RE A FAKE. 559 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,556 TEARS IN 3, 2, 1. 560 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:24,757 [SOBBING] 561 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,926 SCREW YOU, JIMMY. 562 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:30,930 [CRYING] 563 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,533 ONE OF LIFE'S LITTLE PLEASURES, MAN. 564 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,803 * 565 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,805 [JOSH] ALRIGHT, GENTLEMEN. 566 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,273 WELCOME TO DEJA VU 567 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,841 IN BEAUTIFUL DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. 568 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,376 I'M YOUR HOST JOSH. 569 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,277 THE JAY DOG. 570 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:46,379 J LOVER. JJ VITTLES. 571 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,448 ALSO ANSWERS TO FUCK STICK. 572 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:49,516 SHUT IT. 573 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:50,483 AND QUIT EATING MY PIZZA. 574 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,385 NO. IT'S MY PIZZA. 575 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,453 THAT'S BULLSHIT, IT'S MY PIZZA. 576 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,722 DAD SAID THAT WE SHARE EVERYTHING. 577 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,524 NOT PIZZA, DICK. 578 00:20:57,557 --> 00:21:01,494 * 579 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:12,339 I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST WITH ME. 580 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,907 DO YOU THINK I HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM? 581 00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:24,083 WHAT IS THAT? 582 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,085 YOGURT. 583 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,855 IS IT LIKE ICE CREAM OR IS IT...? 584 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:31,558 IT'S LIKE SAD ICE CREAM. 585 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,060 IT'S OK, NEW GIRL. 586 00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,995 YOU CAN TOUCH THEM. 587 00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:39,065 THEY DON'T BITE, BUT UM, I DO. 588 00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,467 -SORRY. 589 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,602 [LAUGHING] 590 00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:43,836 OH, SWEETIE, YOU NEED TO GET A PAIR. 591 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:46,773 YOU'LL FEEL LIKE A WHOLE NEW WOMAN. 592 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:47,940 ...I DON'T KNOW. 593 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:50,910 DO YOU REALLY THINK BIGGER BOOBS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE? 594 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,612 NO, BUT UM... 595 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,646 THEY WILL PAY YOUR RENT. 596 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,114 OH. [LAUGHING] 597 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,417 AND YOUR VISA AND YOUR STUDENT LOANS AND YOU CABLE BILL. 598 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:58,585 OH, OK. 599 00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:01,554 BUT HOW MUCH DO THEY COST? 600 00:22:01,588 --> 00:22:02,989 HELL IF I KNOW, I DIDN'T PAY FOR 'EM. 601 00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:03,956 ARE YOU KIDDING? 602 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,758 GUYS SAY THEY ALWAYS LIKE MY SMALLER BOOBS. 603 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:07,326 HA! 604 00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:11,364 JUST INTRODUCE ME. 605 00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:14,601 [JOSH] ALRIGHT, GENTLEMEN. 606 00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:18,104 GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR EMCEE AND WORLD CLASS PRICK ON WHEELS. 607 00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:21,541 THE SEMI RETARDED JIMMY HOROWITZ. 608 00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:24,877 [JIMMY] ALRIGHT GUYS, GIVE IT UP FOR THE DUMBEST DJ ON THE PLANET. 609 00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:26,413 CAN I GET A LIGHT? 610 00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:28,915 STEVIE WONDER, GET ME RIGHT HERE. 611 00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,550 OH MY GOD. 612 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,819 YOU KNOW, THERE'S PROBABLY MORE PEOPLE AT A DONKEY SHOW. 613 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:35,822 AND IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN A DONKEY SHOW, TALK MY BROTHER- 614 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:38,491 HE'S BLOWN A COUPLE DONKEY'S IN HIS LIFE, OK. 615 00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:41,728 HI. -HI. 616 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:44,864 I GET OFF IN AN HOUR. 617 00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:47,133 WANNA GET OFF WITH ME? 618 00:22:48,435 --> 00:22:52,171 HOW DO YOU GET A GUY TO PAY FOR THEM? 619 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:54,006 GOOD NIGHT TO YOU EVERYBODY! 620 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,142 KROL IS HERE, BABIES. 621 00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:58,010 WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM YOURSELF? 622 00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:00,613 KROL, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE COMING? 623 00:23:00,647 --> 00:23:04,584 WELL BECAUSE I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU 624 00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:08,855 AND MY TWO MOST FAVORITE GIRLS IN THE WORLD. 625 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,122 HELLO PRETTY LADIES. 626 00:23:10,156 --> 00:23:10,990 [GIGGLING] 627 00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:12,859 HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? 628 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:14,994 DID YOU MISS YOUR UNCLE KROL? 629 00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:16,729 I MISSED YOU. 630 00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:18,831 THEY SEEM SAD. 631 00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:20,199 THEY'RE A LITTLE SLEEPY. 632 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:24,103 WELL LET'S SWING THEM UP AND LET'S TAKE THEM 633 00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:25,672 DISCO DANCING, BABY. 634 00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:28,808 EVERYBODY, ALL THE GIRLS, DISCO DANCING, YEAH! 635 00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:31,077 [JIMMY] GET YOUR DICKS UP AND YOUR WALLETS OUT BOYS, 636 00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:33,446 'CUZ IT'S TIME FOR YOUR HEADLINER. 637 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,683 DIRECT FROM A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY, 638 00:23:36,716 --> 00:23:38,818 THE ONE, THE ONLY, 639 00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:41,788 MISS BOOTS! 640 00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:43,690 DRINK UP, BABY. 641 00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:46,493 IT'S SHOW TIME. 642 00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:49,696 * 643 00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:06,445 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I GOTTA BOBBA FETT-ISH. 644 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:13,486 * 645 00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:27,099 COME ON, LADIES. 646 00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:28,535 SHOW ME YOUR WOOKIE. 647 00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:30,703 [WOOKIE SOUNDS] 648 00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:36,776 [LIGHT SABER SOUNDS] 649 00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:39,145 THESE ARE NOT THE STRIPPERS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. 650 00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:43,249 THOSE ARE AVAILABLE IN OUR PRIVATE VIP DANCE ROOMS. 651 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:48,721 * 652 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:09,709 AUNT NANCY? 653 00:25:13,279 --> 00:25:15,848 I FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY JUST BLEW UP MY DEATH STAR. 654 00:25:15,882 --> 00:25:20,687 GIVE IT UP FOR BOOTS, COME ON. 655 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,822 PEOPLE HAVE PET COWS IN WISCONSIN. 656 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:24,290 UM... 657 00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:29,896 LISTEN, YOU WEREN'T THERE. 658 00:25:29,929 --> 00:25:31,230 IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN. 659 00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:33,165 BUT IT GOT HEAVY QUICKLY. 660 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:34,867 I NEVER HEARD "COW" BEFORE. 661 00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:36,703 I ALWAYS HEARD "SALLY". 662 00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:41,908 YES. 663 00:25:41,941 --> 00:25:44,210 THE COW'S NAME WAS SALLY. 664 00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,114 HI! YOU MUST BE SHANE. 665 00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:50,216 YEAH, UH... GOD, I- UH- 666 00:25:50,249 --> 00:25:52,018 I'LL COME BACK WHEN YOU'RE DECENT. 667 00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:53,653 I'M REALLY SORRY. 668 00:25:53,686 --> 00:25:55,822 THEN YOU'LL NEVER BE BACK. 669 00:25:55,855 --> 00:25:57,089 [JIMMY] WE NEED A DANCER UP HERE. 670 00:25:57,123 --> 00:25:59,158 YOU'RE UP NEXT. -OH! 671 00:25:59,191 --> 00:26:02,094 YOU HAVE TO PUT SOMETHING ON TO TAKE SOMETHING OFF. 672 00:26:02,128 --> 00:26:04,230 OH, COME ON BABY, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE TONIGHT. 673 00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:05,164 NO, I CAN'T- 674 00:26:05,197 --> 00:26:06,332 -HEY, NANCY. 675 00:26:06,365 --> 00:26:08,367 [GASPS] SHANE, OH MY GOD. 676 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,902 OOH! MY BABY. 677 00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:11,838 YOU'VE COME BACK TO ME. 678 00:26:11,871 --> 00:26:14,206 HEY... HI. 679 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,608 HI. 680 00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:17,810 MOMMY'S GONNA TUCK YOU IN LATER, OK? 681 00:26:17,844 --> 00:26:19,278 BABY NEEDS YOU. 682 00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:22,114 I'M GONNA PLAY WITH THE DRAGON LATER. 683 00:26:24,851 --> 00:26:26,318 WELL... 684 00:26:26,352 --> 00:26:29,355 WELCOME BACK, GORGEOUS. 685 00:26:29,388 --> 00:26:30,890 THANKS, AUNT NANCY. 686 00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:33,860 UH, DON'T CALL ME THAT, OK? 687 00:26:33,893 --> 00:26:36,328 NO MATTER HOW MANY YEARS I WAS WITH YOUR UNCLE, 688 00:26:36,362 --> 00:26:38,297 I WAS REALLY NEVER YOUR AUNT. 689 00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:39,265 RIGHT. 690 00:26:39,298 --> 00:26:42,134 SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU THEN? 691 00:26:42,168 --> 00:26:44,403 CALL ME BOOTS. 692 00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:46,372 EVERYONE ELSE AROUND HERE DOES. 693 00:26:46,405 --> 00:26:48,808 OK, BOOTS. 694 00:26:48,841 --> 00:26:49,976 WOW. 695 00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:52,211 YOU GREW UP SO HANDSOME. 696 00:26:52,244 --> 00:26:54,146 IT'S A GOOD THING WE'RE, UH... 697 00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:56,348 NOT RELATED. 698 00:26:56,382 --> 00:26:59,051 I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP MY HANDS OFF YOU. 699 00:27:00,887 --> 00:27:01,988 [LAUGHS] 700 00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:03,990 I'M JUST KIDDING, SHANE, COME ON. 701 00:27:04,023 --> 00:27:06,092 COME SIT BY ME AND LET'S HAVE A DRINK. 702 00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:06,993 SURE. 703 00:27:07,026 --> 00:27:08,795 MMM. 704 00:27:10,162 --> 00:27:12,665 LET'S DO A TOAST. 705 00:27:12,699 --> 00:27:15,301 TO ERNIE. 706 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:17,169 GREATEST MAN I EVER KNEW. 707 00:27:17,203 --> 00:27:20,139 HE HAD A BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT AND A HEART OF GOLD. 708 00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:21,974 AND THAT HUGE COCK TOO. 709 00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:23,810 [LAUGHS] 710 00:27:23,843 --> 00:27:25,144 SORRY YOU COULDN'T BE AT THE FUNERAL. 711 00:27:25,177 --> 00:27:26,245 WE HAD A GOOD TIME. 712 00:27:26,278 --> 00:27:29,949 ATE SOME MUSHROOMS, SNORTED RAILS OFF THE COFFIN. 713 00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:31,250 PARTIED OUR TITS OFF. 714 00:27:31,283 --> 00:27:34,120 SOUNDS LIKE A LOVELY TRIBUTE. 715 00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,187 WHERE YOU STAYING? 716 00:27:35,221 --> 00:27:36,989 YOU CAN CRASH WITH ME. 717 00:27:37,023 --> 00:27:39,692 BET WE'D HAVE FUN. 718 00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:42,962 YOU LOOK LIKE FUN. 719 00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:44,697 YEAH, I AM FUN. 720 00:27:45,364 --> 00:27:47,767 [SIGHS] 721 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,937 YOU KNOW THERE WERE MANY NIGHTS I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 722 00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:53,472 WHEN YOU WERE LIVING WITH US, GOING TO COLLEGE. 723 00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:55,107 HM. 724 00:27:56,508 --> 00:28:00,947 I WAS SO TEMPTED TO JUST SNEAK INTO YOUR ROOM 725 00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:03,883 AND BANG THE LIVING JIZZ OUT OF YOU. 726 00:28:03,916 --> 00:28:05,484 OH, THAT'S UH... 727 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,854 THAT'S A GREAT STORY. 728 00:28:07,887 --> 00:28:10,890 YOU REALLY DIDN'T KNOW THAT? 729 00:28:10,923 --> 00:28:12,058 NOPE. 730 00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,425 NO, I DID NOT KNOW. 731 00:28:13,459 --> 00:28:17,129 NOW, I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD. 732 00:28:17,163 --> 00:28:20,399 IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING TO HAVE IN YOUR HEAD NOW, IS IT? 733 00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:23,202 UH, UM, UH... 734 00:28:23,235 --> 00:28:25,204 ACTUALLY IT UH... 735 00:28:25,237 --> 00:28:26,472 IT MIGHT BE. 736 00:28:26,505 --> 00:28:29,909 BECAUSE UH, I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON THOSE- 737 00:28:29,942 --> 00:28:32,745 ON THE WORK- I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE 738 00:28:32,779 --> 00:28:35,314 ON THE WORK, UH, SINCE WE'RE GONNA BE WORKING- 739 00:28:35,347 --> 00:28:37,449 WORKING TOGETHER AND EVERYTHING. 740 00:28:37,483 --> 00:28:39,351 WHY WOULD WE BE WORKING TOGETHER? 741 00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:41,788 I'M TAKING OVER THE CLUB. 742 00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:42,955 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 743 00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:45,357 MY UNCLE ERNIE, HE LEFT ME THE CLUB. 744 00:28:45,391 --> 00:28:47,193 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 745 00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:48,360 THEY- THEY DIDN'T TELL YOU? 746 00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:50,429 NOBODY FUCKING TOLD ME ANYTHING. 747 00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:51,530 [SCREAMS] 748 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,399 THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT! 749 00:28:53,432 --> 00:28:56,202 WHAT, 20 YEARS OF FUCKING ME WASN'T ENOUGH? 750 00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:58,004 NOW HE WANTS TO FUCK ME FROM THE GRAVE! 751 00:28:58,037 --> 00:28:59,471 BOOTS, JESUS, CALM DOWN. 752 00:28:59,505 --> 00:29:01,941 CALL ME AUNT NANCY. 753 00:29:01,974 --> 00:29:02,842 FUCK EVERYONE! 754 00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:05,244 FUCK THIS FUCKING PLACE AND FUCK YOU! 755 00:29:05,277 --> 00:29:06,378 AUNT NANCY! 756 00:29:06,412 --> 00:29:08,848 WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AROUND HERE? 757 00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:10,917 COME ON NANCY? -FUCK YOU! 758 00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:12,451 DON'T FUCKING BE LIKE THAT. 759 00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:14,854 FUCK. 760 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:17,423 GALLAGHER'S A FUCKING GENIUS, DUDE. 761 00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:21,160 CALL ME A FUCKING CAB. 762 00:29:21,193 --> 00:29:22,428 RIGHT NOW? 763 00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:23,562 YEAH, RIGHT NOW. 764 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:24,997 FUCK. 765 00:29:25,031 --> 00:29:27,934 SO, YOUR AUNT SEEMS A WEE BIT UPSET. 766 00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:29,201 WHAT'S THE WORD? 767 00:29:29,235 --> 00:29:32,471 THE WORD IS FUCK IT. 768 00:29:32,504 --> 00:29:34,340 WELL, THAT'S ACTUALLY TWO WORDS. 769 00:29:36,142 --> 00:29:37,810 YOU WERE IN THE ARMY, RIGHT? 770 00:29:37,844 --> 00:29:38,978 MARINE CORPS. 771 00:29:39,011 --> 00:29:40,847 WHY'D YOU QUIT? 772 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,314 MOONED IT. -WHERE? 773 00:29:42,348 --> 00:29:43,415 GRANADA. 774 00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:44,483 GRENADA. 775 00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:46,118 HOWEVER YOU SAY IT. 776 00:29:46,152 --> 00:29:48,420 SO, MAYBE YOU'RE OFF TO A ROUGH START. 777 00:29:48,454 --> 00:29:51,123 ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY, MAN. 778 00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:54,060 YOU JUST NEED TO GET THAT BIG FAT BRAIN OF YOURS WORKING. 779 00:29:54,093 --> 00:29:55,327 COME UP WITH A NEW PLAN. 780 00:29:55,361 --> 00:29:56,963 THIS PLACE IS A SINKING SHIP. 781 00:29:56,996 --> 00:29:58,364 IT'S ON FIRE AND UNDERWATER. 782 00:29:58,397 --> 00:29:59,031 DOOMED. 783 00:29:59,065 --> 00:30:01,167 SO MAYBE IT'S A CLUSTERFUCK. 784 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,603 BUT THERE ARE LIKE COSMIC FORCES AT WORK HERE, BRO. 785 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:05,437 COSMIC FORCES? 786 00:30:05,471 --> 00:30:09,275 YES, YOU'RE LIKE UNCIRCUMSIZED MOSES. 787 00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:13,212 CHOSEN TO LEAD THESE LOST NAKED SOULS WHILE 788 00:30:13,245 --> 00:30:14,546 THEY'RE WANDERING THROUGH THE DESERT 789 00:30:14,580 --> 00:30:17,950 LIKE BACK TO THE FUCKING PROMISED LAND, MAN. 790 00:30:17,984 --> 00:30:19,852 MOSES CAN NOT QUIT. 791 00:30:19,886 --> 00:30:20,987 ARE YOU ON CRANK? 792 00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:23,022 IT'S FUCKING BIBLICAL, MAN. 793 00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:25,257 YOU JUST NEED TO FIND A BURNING BUSH. 794 00:30:25,291 --> 00:30:27,259 AND WHAT BETTER PLACE THAN THIS PLACE TO LOOK 795 00:30:27,293 --> 00:30:29,528 FOR HOT BUSH, MAN. 796 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:32,364 WELL, THANKS FOR THE IRRATIONAL FUCKING PEP TALK. 797 00:30:32,398 --> 00:30:35,567 BUT NOTHING SHORT OF A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE IS GONNA 798 00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:39,071 SAVE THIS FREAK SHOW OR STOP FROM SHUTTING IT DOWN. 799 00:30:39,105 --> 00:30:40,039 IT'S OVER. 800 00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:42,274 FUCK IT. 801 00:30:42,308 --> 00:30:44,076 YOU'VE CHANGED, MAN. 802 00:30:44,110 --> 00:30:45,511 YOU HAVEN'T. 803 00:30:50,382 --> 00:30:51,650 BOOTS, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS? 804 00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:52,618 YOU WANT TO TALK? 805 00:30:52,651 --> 00:30:55,421 YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU CAN TALK TO MY LAWYERS. 806 00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:59,458 BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO MAKE YOUR LIFE REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE. 807 00:30:59,491 --> 00:31:02,261 NOW GET OUT OF MY FACE! 808 00:31:04,463 --> 00:31:07,934 YOU KNOW, I COULD UH GET YOU HOME SAFE... 809 00:31:07,967 --> 00:31:08,968 AND SOUND. 810 00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:10,136 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 811 00:31:10,169 --> 00:31:11,570 YOU WANT TO FUCK ME? 812 00:31:11,603 --> 00:31:12,638 YES, MA'AM. 813 00:31:12,671 --> 00:31:15,141 NOW, WHY WOULD I DO THAT? 814 00:31:15,174 --> 00:31:17,276 PATRIOTISM. 815 00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:18,644 YOU WISH, SOLDIER. 816 00:31:18,677 --> 00:31:20,612 SCREW YOU. 817 00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:27,086 [HUMMING] 818 00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:29,521 * AND THE SHORES OF TRIPOLI 819 00:31:30,589 --> 00:31:36,062 * 820 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,111 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MOVE TO CALIFORNIA 821 00:31:52,144 --> 00:31:53,712 BECAUSE OF THE PALM TREES. 822 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:56,448 COREY HAIM AND PALM TREES. 823 00:31:56,482 --> 00:31:58,584 I LOVE PALM TREES. 824 00:31:58,617 --> 00:32:00,486 [TOMMY] WHY DO YOU LOVE PALM TREES? 825 00:32:00,519 --> 00:32:03,122 BECAUSE IT'S LIKE CALIFORNIA. 826 00:32:03,155 --> 00:32:05,124 WHERE ELSE YOU GONNA FIND A PALM TREE AT? 827 00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:06,225 NOWHERE. 828 00:32:06,258 --> 00:32:07,693 NOT IN INDIANA. 829 00:32:07,726 --> 00:32:09,328 THEY'RE LIKE CARTOON TREES. 830 00:32:09,361 --> 00:32:11,163 SO CUTE. 831 00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:15,567 GOOD MORNING. 832 00:32:15,601 --> 00:32:17,236 WOW. YOU'RE HERE EARLY. 833 00:32:17,269 --> 00:32:18,404 SOMEBODY HAS TO BE. 834 00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:20,172 NOT A LOT OF EARLY RISERS ON STAFF. 835 00:32:20,206 --> 00:32:21,073 YEAH. 836 00:32:21,107 --> 00:32:22,508 WHAT TIME DID TOMMY LEAVE LAST NIGHT? 837 00:32:22,541 --> 00:32:25,377 UM, HE DIDN'T. 838 00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:30,049 FIRST TIME HE'S EVER BEEN TO WORK EARLY IN HIS LIFE. 839 00:32:31,617 --> 00:32:33,419 HEY, UH CALL EVERYBODY. 840 00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:35,321 BOUNCERS, DANCERS, EVERYONE. 841 00:32:35,354 --> 00:32:37,289 I NEED TO SEE THEM HERE IN ABOUT AN HOUR. 842 00:32:46,098 --> 00:32:47,599 HI THERE, I'M CHLOE. 843 00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,268 UH... HI CHLOE. 844 00:32:49,301 --> 00:32:52,571 WHY ARE YOU IN MY OFFICE AND MOSTLY NAKED? 845 00:32:52,604 --> 00:32:54,140 I CAME IN FOR A JOB INTERVIEW. 846 00:32:54,173 --> 00:32:56,208 THE MANANGER TOLD ME TO COME BACK HERE TO THE OFFICE 847 00:32:56,242 --> 00:32:59,711 AND PUT ON A COCKTAIL WAITRESS UNIFORM. 848 00:32:59,745 --> 00:33:01,213 THAT'S THE GUY. 849 00:33:01,247 --> 00:33:02,581 YES, THAT IS THE MANAGER, 850 00:33:02,614 --> 00:33:04,683 BUT THAT IS NOT THE COCKTAIL WAITRESS UNIFORM. 851 00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:06,652 IT'S NOT? SINCE WHEN? 852 00:33:06,685 --> 00:33:08,254 IS THAT COFFEE? -YES. 853 00:33:08,287 --> 00:33:09,621 AH, GIVE IT TO ME. I NEED IT MORE THAN YOU. 854 00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:10,822 REALLY? -YEP. 855 00:33:10,856 --> 00:33:14,126 UNLESS YOU WERE UP HAVING ROUGH SEX WITH THREE DRAG QUEENS 856 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,729 AND A DEEPLY CONFLICTED RODEO COWBOY UNTIL 45 MINUTES AGO? 857 00:33:17,763 --> 00:33:18,730 NO. 858 00:33:18,764 --> 00:33:20,099 I DIDN'T THINK SO. 859 00:33:20,132 --> 00:33:22,234 [CHLOE] SHOULD I COME BACK? 860 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,639 WHAT HAPPENED? 861 00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:30,042 WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN? 862 00:33:30,076 --> 00:33:31,643 PUT THESE BACK ON. 863 00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:33,579 PRAY TELL, MISS THING. 864 00:33:33,612 --> 00:33:36,782 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A DANSEUSE EXOTIQUE? 865 00:33:36,815 --> 00:33:38,684 UH, WHAT? 866 00:33:38,717 --> 00:33:40,319 PARDON MY FRENCH. 867 00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,621 I MEAN THAT WAS LITERALLY FRENCH. 868 00:33:42,654 --> 00:33:44,523 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A STRIPPER? 869 00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:46,592 OH, I AM NOT A STRIPPER. 870 00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:48,794 I CAME IN HERE FOR A WAITRESS JOB. 871 00:33:48,827 --> 00:33:51,397 I WAS A WAITRESS BACK AT STEAK AND SHAKE IN INDIANA. 872 00:33:51,430 --> 00:33:52,398 FORT WAYNE. 873 00:33:52,431 --> 00:33:53,499 SO MUCH FUN THERE. 874 00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:56,102 WE HAVE THE JOHNNY APPLESEED FESTIVAL IN THE SUMMER, 875 00:33:56,135 --> 00:33:57,436 WHICH IS CRAZY. 876 00:33:57,469 --> 00:33:59,171 AND WE HAVE OUR OWN BASEBALL TEAM. 877 00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:00,706 THE FORT WAYNE TIN CAPS. 878 00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:02,741 YOU GOTTA HOUSE? 879 00:34:02,774 --> 00:34:04,443 BABY, I GOT A TRAILER. 880 00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:06,145 PERFECT, LET'S GO TAKE A SHOWER. 881 00:34:06,178 --> 00:34:07,779 MMM. 882 00:34:07,813 --> 00:34:11,650 I WON A SILVER MEDAL AT WAYNE JUNIOR COLLEGE FOR GYMNASTICS. 883 00:34:11,683 --> 00:34:13,252 UNEVEN BARS. 884 00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:16,288 YOU KNOW DIANE, THE BLONDE LADY ON THAT TV SHOW CHEERS. 885 00:34:16,322 --> 00:34:18,124 SHE'S FROM FORT WAYNE TOO. 886 00:34:18,157 --> 00:34:19,725 I MISS INDIANA AND FORT WAYNE SO MUCH. 887 00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:21,860 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THERE? 888 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:23,295 IS HE DEAD? 889 00:34:24,463 --> 00:34:25,564 NO. 890 00:34:25,597 --> 00:34:27,233 I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF LUCK. 891 00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:31,837 SO, WHAT BROUGHT YOU OUT HERE FROM INDIANA? 892 00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,272 A BUS. 893 00:34:33,305 --> 00:34:35,274 NO, I MEAN... 894 00:34:35,307 --> 00:34:36,608 WHY ARE YOU HERE? 895 00:34:36,642 --> 00:34:38,544 BECAUSE OF SNAKES. 896 00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:40,546 YOU'RE- YOU'RE AFRAID OF SNAKES? 897 00:34:40,579 --> 00:34:41,547 NO. 898 00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:44,183 THEY CAN SEEM KIND OF MEAN, BUT THEY'RE NOT. 899 00:34:44,216 --> 00:34:45,584 THEY'RE SO SWEET. 900 00:34:45,617 --> 00:34:48,220 AND, THEIR MUSIC IS SO RAD. 901 00:34:48,254 --> 00:34:49,655 OH OK, SNAKES THE BAND? 902 00:34:49,688 --> 00:34:51,157 DUH, YEAH. 903 00:34:51,190 --> 00:34:53,425 THEY CAME INTO STEAK AND SHAKE AFTER A SHOW, 904 00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:56,328 AND THEY ASKED ME TO BE IN THEIR NEXT MUSIC VIDEO. 905 00:34:56,362 --> 00:34:57,129 UH HUH. 906 00:34:57,163 --> 00:34:58,664 SO THEN WHAT? 907 00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:01,367 IT STARTS WITH THEM AT STEAK AND SHAKE. 908 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,635 I'M THE SHAKE GIRL, BUT I'M NOT REALLY THE SHAKE GIRL. 909 00:35:03,669 --> 00:35:05,904 AND THEN THE SNAKES START ROCKING OUT, 910 00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:08,440 AND THE WHOLE SHAKE MACHINE EXPLODES AND ICE CREAM 911 00:35:08,474 --> 00:35:09,808 AND EVERYTYHING WAS GETTING ALL OVER MY FACE AND MY- 912 00:35:09,841 --> 00:35:12,178 CHLOE, CHLOE, CHLOE, TIME OUT. 913 00:35:12,211 --> 00:35:13,779 WHY DID YOU END UP HERE IN LOS ANGELES? 914 00:35:13,812 --> 00:35:14,946 OH. 915 00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:17,383 WELL, THE COPS PULLED OVER THE TOUR BUS AND THEY FOUND 916 00:35:17,416 --> 00:35:19,351 FOUR POUNDS OF HASH IN THE BASS DRUM. 917 00:35:19,385 --> 00:35:20,386 SO... 918 00:35:20,419 --> 00:35:23,522 I'M KIND OF STRANDED. 919 00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:25,591 I WOULD LOVE- I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU OUT, CHLOE, 920 00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:28,694 BUT WE'RE NOT HIRING AND UM... 921 00:35:28,727 --> 00:35:30,729 LISTEN, I'VE GOT A MEETING. 922 00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:33,365 IF YOU WAIT, I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE TO THE BUS. 923 00:35:33,399 --> 00:35:34,733 OK? 924 00:35:34,766 --> 00:35:36,835 AWW, THANKS. THAT'D BE AWESOME. 925 00:35:36,868 --> 00:35:38,537 OK, NO PROBLEM. 926 00:35:38,570 --> 00:35:40,372 [YAWNS] 927 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,776 [HARRY] PEOPLE DON'T CALL A MEETING FOR GOOD NEWS. 928 00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:46,712 THIS IS BULL- MEETINGS ARE BULLSHIT- 929 00:35:46,745 --> 00:35:47,813 MEETINGS ARE ALWAYS BULLSHIT. 930 00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:50,349 GIVE ME A BREAK. JUST SIT DOWN, PLEASE. 931 00:35:51,617 --> 00:35:52,951 HEY, GUYS, THANKS FOR COMING. 932 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,453 YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS COMING OUT HERE, I HAD REALLY 933 00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:57,423 HIGH HOPES FOR WHAT WE WERE GOING TO DO HERE. 934 00:35:57,456 --> 00:36:02,294 I'M DISAPPOINTED THAT THE CLUB HAS HIT SUCH HARD TIMES. 935 00:36:02,328 --> 00:36:05,664 AS YOU ALL KNOW, THIS PLACE WAS MY UNCLE'S PRIDE AND JOY. 936 00:36:05,697 --> 00:36:08,734 AND I'M JUST AFRAID THAT TIMES CHANGE. 937 00:36:08,767 --> 00:36:09,935 [GRAND MUSIC STARTS UP] AND I'M NOT MY UNCLE. 938 00:36:09,968 --> 00:36:12,671 THERE JUST ISN'T ENOUGH BUSINESS ANYMORE. 939 00:36:12,704 --> 00:36:15,441 AND YOU KNOW, I'M AFRAID THAT... 940 00:36:15,474 --> 00:36:18,344 WE'RE GONNA... 941 00:36:18,377 --> 00:36:19,678 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FACE THE TRUTH. 942 00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:22,814 AND THE TRUTH IS JUST WE CAN'T MAKE ANY MONEY. 943 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,284 AND I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT 944 00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:28,354 BOTTOM LINE I HAVE NO CHOICE. 945 00:36:28,387 --> 00:36:32,358 IT'S JUST- IT'S NOT- 946 00:36:32,391 --> 00:36:36,328 IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR US TO STAY IN BUSINESS- 947 00:36:36,362 --> 00:36:38,964 WHAT THE HELL? WHY ISN'T ANYBODY LISTENING TO ME? 948 00:36:38,997 --> 00:36:41,800 I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT. 949 00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:43,635 WHAT IS IT? 950 00:36:43,669 --> 00:36:46,238 IT'S A MOTHERFUCKIN' MIRACLE. 951 00:36:46,272 --> 00:36:48,740 SHE'S A GOLD MINE. 952 00:36:49,808 --> 00:36:53,479 [CLAPPING] 953 00:36:55,981 --> 00:36:57,583 OH YEAH. 954 00:36:57,616 --> 00:37:00,552 [TONE] 955 00:37:00,586 --> 00:37:01,853 HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO... 956 00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:03,489 [CLINK] 957 00:37:03,522 --> 00:37:06,325 BUT YOU'RE WELCOME. 958 00:37:07,493 --> 00:37:09,027 IS THAT MY SHIRT? 959 00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:11,263 YES. I THOUGHT IT LOOKED GREAT ON ME, SO... 960 00:37:11,297 --> 00:37:12,264 SO WHY ARE YOU SAYING I TOLD YOU SO? 961 00:37:12,298 --> 00:37:14,700 OH, UH BECAUSE BUSINESS IS BOOMING NOW AND UH 962 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:18,770 I THINK A LOT OF THAT HAS TO DO WITH OUR CHEMISTRY 963 00:37:18,804 --> 00:37:20,372 MAINLY A LOT OF MY WORK THAT I'VE DONE, 964 00:37:20,406 --> 00:37:22,774 BUT I THINK YOU DID A GREAT JOB, SO... 965 00:37:22,808 --> 00:37:24,443 YOU GET A LITTLE BIT OF THAT CREDIT YOURSELF. 966 00:37:24,476 --> 00:37:25,377 THANK YOU, I WILL. 967 00:37:25,411 --> 00:37:28,013 AND YOU DID A GOOD JOB ON THE COMMERCIAL. 968 00:37:28,046 --> 00:37:29,881 I'M SHANE NAMINSKI. 969 00:37:29,915 --> 00:37:33,385 NEW MANANGER AND OWNER OF DEJA VU SHOW GIRLS 970 00:37:33,419 --> 00:37:36,388 IN BEAUTIFUL DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. 971 00:37:36,422 --> 00:37:44,696 * 972 00:37:53,539 --> 00:37:56,475 DON'T HAVE A DATE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 973 00:37:56,508 --> 00:37:57,676 NO PROBLEM. 974 00:37:57,709 --> 00:37:59,978 WE'VE GOT YOU... COVERED. 975 00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:01,480 WE'RE AT CAPACITY. 976 00:38:01,513 --> 00:38:02,481 JUST WAIT YOUR TURN. 977 00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:03,682 THANK YOU. 978 00:38:03,715 --> 00:38:06,318 [HECKLING] 979 00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:10,822 * 980 00:38:13,592 --> 00:38:15,361 NAH NAH NAH AHHH. 981 00:38:17,929 --> 00:38:20,899 * 982 00:38:26,472 --> 00:38:28,607 JUST IN TIME FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. 983 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,809 A DEJA VU EXCLUSIVE. 984 00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:33,111 THE WORLD PREMIERE OF THE POLE DANCE. 985 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,046 OOH, WHAT'S THAT? 986 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:38,417 I GUESS I'M JUST PROUD THAT I'VE DISCOVERED SOMETHING. 987 00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:40,419 I'M SORTA LIKE CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS. 988 00:38:40,452 --> 00:38:42,053 EXCEPT WITHOUT THE BOATS. 989 00:38:43,021 --> 00:38:48,894 * 990 00:39:08,714 --> 00:39:10,382 SO COME DOWN TO DEJA VU FOR OUR 991 00:39:10,416 --> 00:39:12,818 GRAND RE-OPENING VALENTINE'S DAY. 992 00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:15,086 IT'S DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN. 993 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,056 [GIRLS] IT'S DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN. 994 00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:19,858 HEY, I JUST SAID THAT. 995 00:39:19,891 --> 00:39:21,760 [LAUGHING] 996 00:39:24,830 --> 00:39:25,964 CAN I HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING? 997 00:39:25,997 --> 00:39:27,132 YEAH, WHAT IS THIS ROOM? 998 00:39:27,165 --> 00:39:28,567 I CAN'T FIND THE KEY THAT OPENS IT. 999 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:29,601 [DEEP BREATH] 1000 00:39:29,635 --> 00:39:30,569 YEAH. 1001 00:39:30,602 --> 00:39:33,038 UH, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANT TO GO IN THERE. 1002 00:39:33,071 --> 00:39:34,773 WHY? 1003 00:39:34,806 --> 00:39:35,841 WELL... 1004 00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:37,709 ERNIE USED TO SAY THAT THE GANGSTERS THAT HE BOUGHT 1005 00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:39,878 THIS PLACE FROM BURIED THE ORIGINAL OWNER IN THERE 1006 00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:41,847 AND COVERED IT WITH CONCRETE. 1007 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,815 YOU'RE KIDDING? 1008 00:39:43,849 --> 00:39:44,683 YES. 1009 00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:46,485 [LAUGHING] 1010 00:39:46,518 --> 00:39:47,686 IT'S AN ELECTRICAL ROOM. 1011 00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,455 HARRY LOST THE KEY. 1012 00:39:49,488 --> 00:39:51,757 YOU MIDWESTERN BOYS SURE ARE GULLIBLE. 1013 00:39:51,790 --> 00:39:52,891 OH, UM... 1014 00:39:52,924 --> 00:39:58,096 THERE'S SOME WEIRD PEOPLE WANDERING AROUND UPSTAIRS. 1015 00:39:58,129 --> 00:40:01,500 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY WEIRD? 1016 00:40:01,533 --> 00:40:03,502 YOU SHOULD GO SEE. 1017 00:40:03,535 --> 00:40:05,837 [LAUGHING] 1018 00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:06,772 L'CHAIM. 1019 00:40:06,805 --> 00:40:08,206 [ALL TOGETHER] L-CHAIM! 1020 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:09,575 CHEERS. 1021 00:40:09,608 --> 00:40:11,677 [LAUGHING] 1022 00:40:13,945 --> 00:40:15,947 CAN I HELP YOU? 1023 00:40:15,981 --> 00:40:17,148 BOOM. 1024 00:40:17,182 --> 00:40:18,817 I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE OWNER. 1025 00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:20,952 I HOPE ERNIE DOESN'T MIND THAT WE'VE STARTED 1026 00:40:20,986 --> 00:40:22,721 THE PARTY WITHOUT HIM. 1027 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:24,456 AS HE IS TERRIBLY LATE. 1028 00:40:24,490 --> 00:40:25,457 UH... 1029 00:40:25,491 --> 00:40:27,793 ERNIE WON'T BE COMING. 1030 00:40:27,826 --> 00:40:29,094 WHY NOT? 1031 00:40:29,127 --> 00:40:30,195 HE'S DEAD. 1032 00:40:30,228 --> 00:40:32,964 THAT'S WHAT I CALL A GOOD EXCUSE. 1033 00:40:32,998 --> 00:40:34,600 ERNIE WAS LIKE A BROTHER. 1034 00:40:34,633 --> 00:40:35,967 SO WHO ARE YOU? 1035 00:40:36,001 --> 00:40:37,202 I'M SHANE. I'M HIS NEPHEW. 1036 00:40:37,235 --> 00:40:38,704 I'M THE NEW OWNER. 1037 00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:41,239 CAPTAIN LOU TENNANT AT YOUR SERVICE. 1038 00:40:41,272 --> 00:40:42,774 NO NEED TO SALUTE. 1039 00:40:42,808 --> 00:40:44,743 YOUR UNCLE AND I WERE VERY CLOSE. 1040 00:40:44,776 --> 00:40:46,912 WE'RE GONNA DEDICATE THE SHOW TO YOUR UNCLE. 1041 00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:47,946 A TRIBUTE. 1042 00:40:47,979 --> 00:40:49,014 WHAT SHOW? 1043 00:40:49,047 --> 00:40:54,085 CAPTAIN LOU TENNANT PRESENTS LA COMEDIA DEL ARC. 1044 00:40:54,119 --> 00:40:56,121 BOOKED IT WITH ERNIE OVER A YEAR AGO. 1045 00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:58,557 I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. 1046 00:40:58,590 --> 00:41:02,894 VERY SAD ABOUT ERNIE, BUT A DEAL IS A DEAL. 1047 00:41:02,928 --> 00:41:05,864 BESIDES IT'S A GREAT SHOW, KID. 1048 00:41:05,897 --> 00:41:06,965 LOOK, MR. TENNANT- 1049 00:41:06,998 --> 00:41:08,700 -CALL ME CAPTAIN. -I'D RATHER NOT. 1050 00:41:08,734 --> 00:41:10,569 LISTEN, YOUR SHOW'S NOT GOING TO WORK FOR US. 1051 00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:13,605 DID I MENTION THAT YOU GET 50% AT THE DOOR? 1052 00:41:13,639 --> 00:41:14,272 I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 1053 00:41:14,305 --> 00:41:15,541 I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES. 1054 00:41:15,574 --> 00:41:16,775 DON'T. 1055 00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:18,677 THIS GIG GETS CANCELED, I'M GONNA START CUTTING OFF THUMBS. 1056 00:41:18,710 --> 00:41:20,812 MY APOLOGIES. 1057 00:41:20,846 --> 00:41:22,581 RAW EMOTION. 1058 00:41:22,614 --> 00:41:26,251 THAT'S WHAT MAKES HIS ACT SO POWERFUL. 1059 00:41:26,284 --> 00:41:28,987 WHAT IS HIS ACT? 1060 00:41:29,020 --> 00:41:30,155 [CRUNCHING GLASS] 1061 00:41:30,188 --> 00:41:31,523 OH MY GOD. IT'S SO GROSS. 1062 00:41:31,557 --> 00:41:32,824 EATS ANYTHING. 1063 00:41:32,858 --> 00:41:33,659 GLASS. 1064 00:41:33,692 --> 00:41:34,225 WOOD. 1065 00:41:34,259 --> 00:41:35,994 MOST POROUS METALS. 1066 00:41:36,027 --> 00:41:38,597 NOBODY LIKE HIM. 1067 00:41:39,798 --> 00:41:42,167 TRICKS ARE HARDER TO DO THAN EATING THINGS. 1068 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,670 LIKE WE ALL DO, MAYBE. 1069 00:41:44,703 --> 00:41:45,571 REALLY? 1070 00:41:45,604 --> 00:41:46,938 THEY'RE HARDER TO DO? 1071 00:41:46,972 --> 00:41:48,206 YEAH. 1072 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:51,843 HAVE YOU EVER PASSED AN ENTIRE SET OF WEDGWOOD CHINA BEFORE? 1073 00:41:51,877 --> 00:41:54,646 I'M CARRIE OKEY. 1074 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,948 AND THIS IS FIRENZO. 1075 00:41:56,982 --> 00:41:59,184 IT'S KINDA SELF-EXPLANATORY. 1076 00:41:59,217 --> 00:42:01,853 IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING COMBUSTIBLE AND INCENDIARY. 1077 00:42:01,887 --> 00:42:04,122 IT'S REALLY EXCITING. 1078 00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:05,557 YES. 1079 00:42:05,591 --> 00:42:07,225 I WAS MARRIED. 1080 00:42:07,258 --> 00:42:09,561 AND UH... 1081 00:42:09,595 --> 00:42:12,130 HE FUCKED MY WIFE. 1082 00:42:12,163 --> 00:42:14,833 AND UH... 1083 00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:18,737 I KICKED HER OUT OF MY PLACE AND I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE. 1084 00:42:18,770 --> 00:42:20,038 SHE'S DOING WELL NOW. 1085 00:42:20,071 --> 00:42:21,707 SHE'S DOING GREAT. 1086 00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:23,008 SHE'S AT HOME. 1087 00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:26,011 SHE DOESN'T COME TO THE SHOWS AT ALL BECAUSE 1088 00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:28,046 IT WOULD GET A LITTLE AWKWARD BUT- 1089 00:42:28,079 --> 00:42:31,282 ANOTHER THING HE MADE DISAPPEAR. 1090 00:42:31,316 --> 00:42:32,851 CHECK THIS. 1091 00:42:32,884 --> 00:42:33,551 RIGHT. 1092 00:42:33,585 --> 00:42:34,786 YOU SHOULD SEE HER- [GASP] 1093 00:42:34,820 --> 00:42:36,287 [CRASH] 1094 00:42:36,321 --> 00:42:38,624 DO YOU HAVE ANY REGARD FOR MY COLON WHATSOEVER? 1095 00:42:38,657 --> 00:42:39,891 EHH. 1096 00:42:40,959 --> 00:42:48,166 * 1097 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,348 WELL, I'M AMBER. 1098 00:43:03,381 --> 00:43:06,284 I'M ONE OF THE BEST STRIPPERS HERE. 1099 00:43:06,317 --> 00:43:11,690 * 1100 00:43:13,825 --> 00:43:16,161 AND HE IS A SUPER. 1101 00:43:16,194 --> 00:43:16,962 A MEGA SUPERSTAR. 1102 00:43:16,995 --> 00:43:18,730 KROL FROM... 1103 00:43:18,764 --> 00:43:22,267 SOME EASTERN EUROPEAN BLOC COUNTRY. 1104 00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:23,902 ARE YOU A COMMUNIST? 1105 00:43:23,935 --> 00:43:25,136 I'M INTERNATIONAL BABY. 1106 00:43:25,170 --> 00:43:26,337 OH. 1107 00:43:26,371 --> 00:43:31,009 * 1108 00:43:33,344 --> 00:43:34,980 [JOSH] ALRIGHT GUYS, GIVE IT UP FOR AMBER. 1109 00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:37,683 NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A TIGHT END. 1110 00:43:37,716 --> 00:43:40,185 [CHEERING] 1111 00:43:48,259 --> 00:43:50,862 BRAVA! BRAVA! 1112 00:43:50,896 --> 00:43:54,332 I'M NOT GREEK BUT I BRING SOME GIFTS. 1113 00:43:54,365 --> 00:43:55,967 MOLTA BELLA. 1114 00:43:56,001 --> 00:43:56,935 IT'S FOR YOU. 1115 00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:58,203 NO, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. 1116 00:43:58,236 --> 00:44:01,072 BUT WHY? I WANTED TO BRING SOMETHING SPECIAL. 1117 00:44:01,106 --> 00:44:03,842 NO, YOU REALLY, REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE. 1118 00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:05,076 I HAVE MELISAPHOBIA. 1119 00:44:05,110 --> 00:44:06,945 OH, YOU HAVE SOME DISEASES? 1120 00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:08,213 NO, I HAVE MELISAPHOBIA. 1121 00:44:08,246 --> 00:44:10,181 IT'S- IT'S A FEAR OF BEARS. 1122 00:44:10,215 --> 00:44:13,051 I WENT TO YOSEMITE WITH MY FATHER WHEN I WAS SIX, 1123 00:44:13,084 --> 00:44:17,322 AND THERE WAS THIS MAN IN A COSTUME OF SMOKEY THE BEAR. 1124 00:44:17,355 --> 00:44:20,125 HE WAS GIVING A FIRE SAFETY DEMONSTRATION TO THE KIDS, 1125 00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:24,129 AND HE CAUGHT FIRE, AND HE JUST WENT MENTAL. 1126 00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:25,263 I'M SORRY. 1127 00:44:25,296 --> 00:44:26,865 I DIDN'T KNOW. 1128 00:44:26,898 --> 00:44:29,100 EVER SINCE THEN I'VE BEEN AFRAID OF BEARS. 1129 00:44:29,134 --> 00:44:30,869 I WILL KILL THIS BEAR. 1130 00:44:30,902 --> 00:44:33,171 YOU DIDN'T KNOW, YOU DIDN'T KNOW. 1131 00:44:33,204 --> 00:44:35,707 WELL, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU- 1132 00:44:35,741 --> 00:44:38,276 -OH HO HO, YOU POLISH PIECE OF SHIT. 1133 00:44:38,309 --> 00:44:39,510 CHILL OUT, LAYLA. 1134 00:44:39,544 --> 00:44:41,312 WOULD YOU REALLY BE SURPRISED THAT A GUY WOULD RATHER HAVE 1135 00:44:41,346 --> 00:44:43,448 CAVIAR THAN TUNA FISH? 1136 00:44:43,481 --> 00:44:44,750 HMM CAVIAR? 1137 00:44:44,783 --> 00:44:46,351 MORE LIKE DOG FOOD FOR A BITCH. 1138 00:44:46,384 --> 00:44:48,086 REALLY, REALLY? -YEAH. 1139 00:44:48,119 --> 00:44:48,887 REALLY? -YEAH. 1140 00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:50,121 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, BITCH? 1141 00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:54,292 [YELLING AT EACH OTHER] 1142 00:45:00,832 --> 00:45:06,872 [ALL YELLING] 1143 00:45:12,911 --> 00:45:14,445 AREN'T YOU GONNA STOP THEM? 1144 00:45:14,479 --> 00:45:17,315 [ALL YELLING] 1145 00:45:17,348 --> 00:45:19,818 NO, I'M NOT. 1146 00:45:19,851 --> 00:45:21,119 [ARGUING AND SWEARING] 1147 00:45:21,152 --> 00:45:22,854 GOOD CALL. 1148 00:45:22,888 --> 00:45:25,023 FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. 1149 00:45:25,056 --> 00:45:26,157 MY NAME IS MIKE HAUSER. 1150 00:45:26,191 --> 00:45:29,027 UH, I'M CURRENTLY ON DISABILITY. 1151 00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:32,463 UH, I MADE MY LIVING BEING A ROADIE. 1152 00:45:32,497 --> 00:45:34,132 A ROADIED FOR UH, RATT. 1153 00:45:34,165 --> 00:45:37,002 I'M CURRENTLY LIVING WITH MY PARENTS. 1154 00:45:37,035 --> 00:45:40,505 UH THEY LIVE IN SANDY PARK MOBILE COMMUNITY. 1155 00:45:40,538 --> 00:45:41,306 IT'S LOT NUMBER 5. 1156 00:45:41,339 --> 00:45:42,540 IF YOU WANNA STOP BY, PLEASE DO. 1157 00:45:42,573 --> 00:45:44,209 WE DON'T GET A LOT OF VISITORS. 1158 00:45:46,011 --> 00:45:47,412 I THINK THEY LOOK REAL, BUT I DON'T KNOW. 1159 00:45:47,445 --> 00:45:51,316 I HAVE A FEAR THAT I'VE BEEN LIKE OVER-STUFFING LATELY. 1160 00:45:51,349 --> 00:45:53,251 [LAUGHING] -HEY. 1161 00:45:53,284 --> 00:45:56,421 HEY, CAN WE INTEREST YOU GUYS IN A NIGHT CAP? 1162 00:45:56,454 --> 00:45:57,923 WE SHOULD REALLY GET GOING ACTUALLY. 1163 00:45:57,956 --> 00:45:58,824 OH COME ON. 1164 00:45:58,857 --> 00:45:59,925 JUST ONE. 1165 00:45:59,958 --> 00:46:01,559 ONE. 1166 00:46:01,592 --> 00:46:03,995 OK, ONE. 1167 00:46:04,029 --> 00:46:04,830 THEN WE GOTTA GET GOING. 1168 00:46:04,863 --> 00:46:06,331 I GOTTA GET UP EARLY. 1169 00:46:06,364 --> 00:46:07,432 THANK YOU. 1170 00:46:09,835 --> 00:46:11,402 TO BAD DECISIONS. 1171 00:46:11,436 --> 00:46:14,272 YES! 1172 00:46:14,305 --> 00:46:16,507 WHAT WAS THE FREAK OUT IN THE DRESSING ROOM ALL ABOUT EARLIER? 1173 00:46:16,541 --> 00:46:17,408 [LAUGHING] 1174 00:46:17,442 --> 00:46:19,210 SCHEDULING CONFLICT. 1175 00:46:19,244 --> 00:46:20,211 WOO. 1176 00:46:20,245 --> 00:46:21,880 RIGHT NOW I SAY LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT LIKE 1177 00:46:21,913 --> 00:46:23,481 BORING WORK STUFF. 1178 00:46:23,514 --> 00:46:25,383 AND LET'S GET TOTALLY HIGH. 1179 00:46:25,416 --> 00:46:26,384 YES. 1180 00:46:26,417 --> 00:46:27,585 LET'S GO. 1181 00:46:27,618 --> 00:46:28,820 BYE. 1182 00:46:28,854 --> 00:46:30,255 ALRIGHT. 1183 00:46:30,288 --> 00:46:34,259 SO, HOW EXACTLY DO YOU FIGURE OUT 1184 00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:37,128 HOW TO SCHEDULE WHO WITH WHOM? 1185 00:46:37,162 --> 00:46:38,830 I DON'T KNOW. 1186 00:46:38,864 --> 00:46:41,599 I GUESS YOU GOTTA BE KIND OF A PEOPLE PERSON. 1187 00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:44,602 YOUR UNCLE ERNIE WAS THE BEST AT IT. 1188 00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:46,271 HARRY ON THE OTHER HAND IS... 1189 00:46:46,304 --> 00:46:47,873 CLINICALLY INSANE. 1190 00:46:47,906 --> 00:46:49,574 NOT CLINICALLY. 1191 00:46:49,607 --> 00:46:52,010 IT'S JUST NOW THAT YOUR UNCLE ISN'T MANAGING, 1192 00:46:52,043 --> 00:46:54,612 HIS CHOICES AREN'T THE BEST. 1193 00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:56,147 BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR, RIGHT? 1194 00:46:56,181 --> 00:46:57,615 OH, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR? 1195 00:46:57,648 --> 00:46:58,850 [CAR ENGINE STARTING] 1196 00:46:58,884 --> 00:47:00,351 [LAUGHING] YES, I HOPE SO. 1197 00:47:00,385 --> 00:47:01,987 DON'T BE A PUSSY, HASSELHOFF. 1198 00:47:02,020 --> 00:47:05,023 LICK IT BEFORE YOU STICK IT. 1199 00:47:05,056 --> 00:47:07,558 OOH! 1200 00:47:07,592 --> 00:47:09,327 DO YOU THINK THEY'RE COMING BACK? 1201 00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:10,495 NO. 1202 00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:12,597 AND SHE'S MY RIDE. 1203 00:47:12,630 --> 00:47:14,199 YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE. 1204 00:47:14,232 --> 00:47:20,171 I MEAN... IF YOU DON'T MIND RIDING IN KITT. 1205 00:47:20,205 --> 00:47:22,240 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 1206 00:47:22,273 --> 00:47:24,275 YOUR CAR IS RAD. 1207 00:47:24,309 --> 00:47:25,243 I THINK IT'S PRETTY RAD. 1208 00:47:25,276 --> 00:47:27,512 IT'S TOTALLY RAD. 1209 00:47:27,545 --> 00:47:29,214 WHY DO YOU GOTTA GET UP SO EARLY? 1210 00:47:29,247 --> 00:47:32,884 OH, I- I HAVE CLASS AT EIGHT. 1211 00:47:32,918 --> 00:47:34,519 CLASS? 1212 00:47:34,552 --> 00:47:36,154 YES, CLASS. 1213 00:47:36,187 --> 00:47:37,355 I GOT TO SCHOOL. 1214 00:47:37,388 --> 00:47:38,924 DON'T LOOK SO SURPRISED. 1215 00:47:38,957 --> 00:47:41,226 I'M 21 UNITS AWAY FROM GETTING MY BUSINESS DEGREE, 1216 00:47:41,259 --> 00:47:43,261 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1217 00:47:43,294 --> 00:47:44,529 FIGURES. 1218 00:47:44,562 --> 00:47:49,167 YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON THAT HAS ANY CLUE HOW TO RUN THIS PLACE. 1219 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,602 I WAS KINDA HOPING THAT MAYBE I COULD TAKE YOU 1220 00:47:51,636 --> 00:47:52,803 FOR A CUP OF COFFEE. 1221 00:47:52,837 --> 00:47:55,540 MAYBE YOU COULD SHOW ME A THING OR TWO ABOUT SCHEDULING 1222 00:47:55,573 --> 00:47:59,110 SO I CAN AVOID HAVING INNER-STRIPPER WARFARE. 1223 00:47:59,144 --> 00:48:01,980 [LAUGHING] 1224 00:48:02,013 --> 00:48:05,116 I MIGHT HAVE JUST ENOUGH ENERGY TO HELP YOU WITH THAT. 1225 00:48:05,150 --> 00:48:06,584 [LAUGHS] 1226 00:48:06,617 --> 00:48:08,186 ALRIGHT, COOL. 1227 00:48:08,219 --> 00:48:09,154 LET'S GO. 1228 00:48:09,187 --> 00:48:10,221 I'LL GET YOUR DOOR. 1229 00:48:10,255 --> 00:48:11,422 OK. 1230 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:16,227 WOO! I'M GONNA SIT IN KITT. 1231 00:48:16,261 --> 00:48:19,164 ALRIGHT, BE CAREFUL BECAUSE HE'LL TALK TO YOU. 1232 00:48:19,197 --> 00:48:21,432 [CHRISTINA] IT MIGHT BE KIND OF OUT OF THE WAY FOR YOU. 1233 00:48:21,466 --> 00:48:22,467 IS THAT OK? 1234 00:48:22,500 --> 00:48:24,135 [SHANE] I HAVEN'T SEEN MUCH OF L.A. ANYWAYS. 1235 00:48:24,169 --> 00:48:27,305 SO MAYBE YOU CAN GIVE ME THE TOUR. 1236 00:48:27,338 --> 00:48:28,473 [CHRISTINA] WHAT DO YOU THINK OF L.A.? 1237 00:48:28,506 --> 00:48:31,109 [SHANE] I LIKE IT NOW THAT I'M RIDING AROUND WITH YOU. 1238 00:48:31,142 --> 00:48:32,010 WHAT? 1239 00:48:32,043 --> 00:48:33,044 [LAUGHING] 1240 00:48:33,078 --> 00:48:36,281 OH LOOK AT YOU, MR. SWEET TALKER. 1241 00:48:40,351 --> 00:48:42,988 [TOMMY] WOULD YOU SAY YOU'RE MORE OF A TIT MAN OR AN ASS MAN? 1242 00:48:43,021 --> 00:48:45,056 UM... 1243 00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:46,057 WELL IT'S HARD TO SAY. 1244 00:48:46,091 --> 00:48:47,158 I LIKE TO BALANCE THAT... 1245 00:48:47,192 --> 00:48:48,994 IF SOMEHOW- 1246 00:48:49,027 --> 00:48:51,129 IF YOU COULD HAVE AN ASS THAT LOOKED LIKE A TIT, 1247 00:48:51,162 --> 00:48:52,998 I THINK THAT WOULD BE THE PERFECT- 1248 00:48:53,031 --> 00:48:56,101 THAT WOULD JUST MAKE THE PERFECT THING FOR ME. 1249 00:48:56,134 --> 00:48:57,568 I'M PROUD OF MY FATHER. 1250 00:48:57,602 --> 00:49:00,438 HE OWNS LIKE .1% OF THIS CLUB. 1251 00:49:00,471 --> 00:49:04,009 BUT SINCE TAKING IT OVER, IT'S NOTHING BUT GREATNESS. 1252 00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:07,578 I LOOK UP TO HIM, BUT HE DOES NOT LOOK DOWN TO ME. 1253 00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:11,349 AND PLUS MY DAD'S A LEADER IN THE PAN SEXUAL COMMUNITY. 1254 00:49:11,382 --> 00:49:13,751 HOW MANY NIPPLES WOULD YOU GUESS THAT YOU'VE 1255 00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:15,987 SEEN IN YOUR LIFETIME? 1256 00:49:16,021 --> 00:49:17,688 UM... 1257 00:49:17,722 --> 00:49:22,994 ODDLY ENOUGH I THINK IT'S SOMEWHERE IN THE AREA OF 32,013. 1258 00:49:23,028 --> 00:49:23,928 SO IT'S AN ODD NUMBER? 1259 00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:26,264 YEAH, I KNEW THIS ONE GIRL WHO HAD THREE. 1260 00:49:31,402 --> 00:49:36,207 * 1261 00:49:40,578 --> 00:49:45,083 HOW SWEET IS THIS NEW BAR, MAN? 1262 00:49:45,116 --> 00:49:46,617 I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I SEE THE BILL. 1263 00:49:46,651 --> 00:49:47,485 RELAX. 1264 00:49:47,518 --> 00:49:48,653 I KNOW MY SPANISH IS A LITTLE RUSTY, 1265 00:49:48,686 --> 00:49:52,723 BUT I'M LIKE 90% SURE WE GOT LIKE A RADICAL DEAL ON IT. 1266 00:49:52,757 --> 00:49:55,493 SIETECIENTOS IS SEVENTEEN, RIGHT? 1267 00:49:55,526 --> 00:49:56,327 NO, I THINK- 1268 00:49:56,361 --> 00:49:58,229 NO, IT'S A LOT MORE THAN SEVENTEEN. 1269 00:49:58,263 --> 00:50:00,065 THE BAR'S RIGHT THROUGH HERE. 1270 00:50:00,098 --> 00:50:02,767 SHANE, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET HIS MAJESTY, 1271 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:04,335 KROL CASHMERE. 1272 00:50:04,369 --> 00:50:05,703 YOU'RE PLEASED TO MEET ME. 1273 00:50:05,736 --> 00:50:06,771 LIKEWISE. 1274 00:50:06,804 --> 00:50:08,739 [LAUGHS] 1275 00:50:08,773 --> 00:50:10,475 PRETTY COOL HAVING A LITTLE ROYAL BLOOD IN 1276 00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:12,110 THIS DUMP, HUH BOSS? 1277 00:50:12,143 --> 00:50:13,411 IF YOU SAY SO. 1278 00:50:13,444 --> 00:50:15,280 KROL'S THE PRINCE OF POLAND. 1279 00:50:15,313 --> 00:50:17,082 [LAUGHING] 1280 00:50:17,115 --> 00:50:19,650 I'M SORRY TO BREAK THE NEWS TO YOU FELLAS, BUT UH... 1281 00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:21,219 THERE'S NO ROYAL FAMILY IN POLAND. 1282 00:50:21,252 --> 00:50:23,054 NO KING. NO QUEEN. 1283 00:50:23,088 --> 00:50:24,289 NO PRINCE. 1284 00:50:24,322 --> 00:50:26,091 WHATEVER, RAND MCNALLY. 1285 00:50:26,124 --> 00:50:27,358 HE'S ROYAL BLOOD. 1286 00:50:27,392 --> 00:50:28,293 TELL HIM, JIMMY. 1287 00:50:28,326 --> 00:50:30,695 HE'S NOT ROYALTY. 1288 00:50:30,728 --> 00:50:32,797 I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS THE PRINCE OF POLAND? 1289 00:50:32,830 --> 00:50:35,466 I AM THE PRINCE IN POLAND. 1290 00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:36,467 HE'S A SINGER. 1291 00:50:36,501 --> 00:50:37,435 HE'S LIKE PRINCE. 1292 00:50:37,468 --> 00:50:38,603 BUT IN KRAKOW. 1293 00:50:38,636 --> 00:50:39,504 OH. 1294 00:50:39,537 --> 00:50:41,372 NOT AS COOL. 1295 00:50:41,406 --> 00:50:43,841 YOU KNOW, VERY DARK IS HERE. 1296 00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:45,743 IT'S SO DAMN SAD. 1297 00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:47,545 LET'S BRING HERE SOME COLORS. 1298 00:50:47,578 --> 00:50:49,480 MAKE IT, YOU KNOW, VEGAS. 1299 00:50:49,514 --> 00:50:50,481 SOMETHING CURRENT. 1300 00:50:50,515 --> 00:50:51,716 TODAY. 1301 00:50:51,749 --> 00:50:54,485 HE WANTS TO RENT THIS PLACE TO FILM HIS FIRST MUSIC VIDEO. 1302 00:50:54,519 --> 00:50:55,653 TELL HIM HE CAN RENT IT. 1303 00:50:55,686 --> 00:50:57,555 [LAUGHING] I'M A SERIOUS FILMMAKER, MAN. 1304 00:50:57,588 --> 00:51:00,258 I DON'T DEAL WITH PIDDLY LITTLE MUSIC VIDEOS. 1305 00:51:00,291 --> 00:51:01,259 WHATEVER, I'LL DIRECT IT. 1306 00:51:01,292 --> 00:51:03,128 LOOK, WE'RE STILL USING THE CLUB THOUGH, RIGHT? 1307 00:51:03,161 --> 00:51:04,329 NO. 1308 00:51:04,362 --> 00:51:05,530 NOBODY'S RENTING THE CLUB. 1309 00:51:05,563 --> 00:51:06,731 COME ON, SHANE. 1310 00:51:06,764 --> 00:51:08,366 BUSINESS IS BUSTING LOOSE. 1311 00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:10,168 WE GOTTA JUMP ON THE MOMENTUM. 1312 00:51:10,201 --> 00:51:12,337 KROL HERE CAN PUT US ON THE MAP. 1313 00:51:12,370 --> 00:51:14,472 NO, NO ONE'S RENTING THIS PLACE EVER AGAIN. 1314 00:51:14,505 --> 00:51:17,708 YEAH, ESPECIALLY JACKOFF SMIRNOFF OVER HERE. 1315 00:51:17,742 --> 00:51:19,410 HOW MUCH FOR THE WOMENS? 1316 00:51:19,444 --> 00:51:20,811 HE WANTS TO RENT SOME GIRLS. 1317 00:51:20,845 --> 00:51:22,880 YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GONNA PRETEND THAT I DIDN'T HEAR THAT. 1318 00:51:22,913 --> 00:51:24,882 AND I'M GONNA PRETEND THAT YOU TWO DON'T WORK HERE. 1319 00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:27,252 YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW SHOW BIZ. 1320 00:51:27,285 --> 00:51:28,886 GET OUT OF HERE AND GET HIM OUT OF HERE. 1321 00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:30,755 WHATEVER! 1322 00:51:30,788 --> 00:51:32,623 I'M THE PRINCE IN POLAND. 1323 00:51:32,657 --> 00:51:35,360 THEY TREAT ME LIKE GODS THERE. 1324 00:51:36,561 --> 00:51:41,599 MY HAPPIEST MEMORIES ARE ME LISTENING TO VIOLIN CONCERTOS 1325 00:51:41,632 --> 00:51:43,601 ALONE IN MY ROOM. 1326 00:51:43,634 --> 00:51:45,603 I WANT TO COMBINE MY TWO GREAT LOVES. 1327 00:51:45,636 --> 00:51:48,339 MUSIC AND BEEN NAKED. 1328 00:51:48,373 --> 00:51:52,210 * 1329 00:51:53,378 --> 00:51:56,547 THE FIRST TIME I DID IT, I WAS PLAYING A BRAHMS CONCERTO. 1330 00:51:56,581 --> 00:51:58,849 AND RIGHT BEFORE THE CLIMAX IN THE THIRD MOVEMENT, 1331 00:51:58,883 --> 00:52:01,486 I- I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. 1332 00:52:01,519 --> 00:52:05,890 I RIPPED OPEN MY BLOUSE AND I WENT CRAZY. 1333 00:52:05,923 --> 00:52:11,396 * 1334 00:52:11,429 --> 00:52:14,632 I GET KICKED OUT OF ORCHESTRAS A LOT. 1335 00:52:18,669 --> 00:52:22,607 MY PROFESSOR'S AT U.C.L.A. ARE REALLY UNDERSTANDING 1336 00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:24,675 AND ENCOURAGING. 1337 00:52:24,709 --> 00:52:27,212 I HAVE A FULL SCHOLARSHIP. 1338 00:52:33,584 --> 00:52:35,886 I'VE JUST ALWAYS LOVED MUSIC. 1339 00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:40,225 [TONE] 1340 00:52:40,258 --> 00:52:42,260 [TOMMY] SO, ARE YOU MARRIED, OFFICER? 1341 00:52:42,293 --> 00:52:43,594 NO. 1342 00:52:43,628 --> 00:52:45,830 I'M PRETTY PICKY. UM... 1343 00:52:45,863 --> 00:52:48,566 WHAT'S THE SECRET TO BEING A GOOD LOVER? 1344 00:52:48,599 --> 00:52:50,668 COMMUNICATION. 1345 00:52:50,701 --> 00:52:51,669 I DON'T KNOW, FOR ME... 1346 00:52:51,702 --> 00:52:55,406 JUST MAKING SURE I DON'T HAVE THE GUN IN THE BED. 1347 00:52:57,242 --> 00:52:58,443 SORRY, I'M LATE. 1348 00:52:58,476 --> 00:53:01,279 THIS WHOLE DAYLIGHT SAVING'S TIME THING HAS ME SO CONFUSED. 1349 00:53:01,312 --> 00:53:03,781 DAYLIGHT SAVING'S TIME WAS LAST FALL. 1350 00:53:03,814 --> 00:53:05,616 BUT LAST FALL I LIVED IN INDIANA. 1351 00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:07,518 THEY DIDN'T HAVE DAYLIGHT SAVING'S TIME. 1352 00:53:07,552 --> 00:53:09,387 SO NOW THAT I LIVE HERE IN CALIFORNIA, 1353 00:53:09,420 --> 00:53:10,921 I NEEDED TO MAKE UP FOR EVERYTHING. 1354 00:53:10,955 --> 00:53:14,659 SO I SWITCHED ALL MY CLOCKS AND EVERYTHING'S ALL MESSED UP. 1355 00:53:14,692 --> 00:53:18,329 ALSO I MADE POT BROWNIES FOR EVERYONE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. 1356 00:53:18,363 --> 00:53:21,632 BUT, I FOUND A RECIPE WITHOUT THE POT. 1357 00:53:21,666 --> 00:53:22,867 HERE YOU GO. 1358 00:53:22,900 --> 00:53:24,935 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 1359 00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:27,238 THANK YOU. 1360 00:53:28,273 --> 00:53:30,541 OH, SORRY. 1361 00:53:30,575 --> 00:53:31,642 THE DOOR WAS OPEN. 1362 00:53:31,676 --> 00:53:32,810 NO, UH... 1363 00:53:32,843 --> 00:53:34,879 CHLOE- CHLOE MADE BROWNIES. 1364 00:53:34,912 --> 00:53:36,481 AND THEY'RE POT FREE. 1365 00:53:36,514 --> 00:53:37,348 HERE YOU GO. 1366 00:53:37,382 --> 00:53:38,349 THANK YOU, SWEETIE. 1367 00:53:38,383 --> 00:53:40,485 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON STAGE AN HOUR AGO. 1368 00:53:40,518 --> 00:53:41,519 [SIGHS] 1369 00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:43,688 I CAN'T WAIT TO SPRING FORWARD. 1370 00:53:44,522 --> 00:53:49,294 UM, SO DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 1371 00:53:49,327 --> 00:53:50,261 I MEAN... 1372 00:53:50,295 --> 00:53:51,529 NO. 1373 00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:54,665 EVEN IF I DID, I DON'T GET OFF WORK UNTIL AFTER MIDNIGHT SO... 1374 00:53:54,699 --> 00:53:55,733 DO YOU? 1375 00:53:55,766 --> 00:53:57,702 UH NO. JUST WORK. 1376 00:53:57,735 --> 00:53:58,636 YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT. 1377 00:53:58,669 --> 00:53:59,970 RIGHT. -YEAH. 1378 00:54:00,004 --> 00:54:02,507 UH HEY UH... 1379 00:54:02,540 --> 00:54:04,342 I WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. 1380 00:54:04,375 --> 00:54:08,413 DO YOU THINK THAT MAYBE UM... 1381 00:54:11,015 --> 00:54:14,585 DO YOU THINK MAYBE YOU'D WANT TO BE A MANAGER? 1382 00:54:14,619 --> 00:54:16,287 OH. 1383 00:54:16,321 --> 00:54:17,488 I MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE TO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. 1384 00:54:17,522 --> 00:54:18,389 I'M- I'M JUST ASKING. 1385 00:54:18,423 --> 00:54:20,758 NO, I DO. 1386 00:54:20,791 --> 00:54:21,992 WOULD I GET A RAISE? 1387 00:54:22,026 --> 00:54:23,160 MAYBE. 1388 00:54:23,193 --> 00:54:26,831 WOULD I HAVE TO WEAR THIS STUPID PORN WAITRESS OUTFIT? 1389 00:54:26,864 --> 00:54:28,799 NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THAT. 1390 00:54:28,833 --> 00:54:30,335 NO, DEFINITELY. 1391 00:54:30,368 --> 00:54:31,035 DEAL. 1392 00:54:31,068 --> 00:54:32,870 OK. GREAT. GOOD. 1393 00:54:32,903 --> 00:54:35,373 GREAT, WE'LL START YOU THIS WEEKEND. 1394 00:54:35,406 --> 00:54:37,308 WE'LL START YOU- I'M SORRY. 1395 00:54:37,342 --> 00:54:38,309 [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] 1396 00:54:38,343 --> 00:54:39,744 GREAT. SOUNDS GOOD. THANK YOU. 1397 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:40,945 OK. HEY, UH... 1398 00:54:40,978 --> 00:54:42,713 [CLEARS THROAT] ONE MORE THING, I UH... 1399 00:54:42,747 --> 00:54:44,549 NO, NO, FORGET IT. 1400 00:54:44,582 --> 00:54:46,351 ARE YOU SURE? NOTHING- NOTHING ELSE? 1401 00:54:46,384 --> 00:54:47,952 YEAH, YEAH, NO. I'M OK. 1402 00:54:47,985 --> 00:54:48,919 OK. -ALRIGHT. 1403 00:54:48,953 --> 00:54:49,854 OK. 1404 00:54:49,887 --> 00:54:51,589 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 1405 00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:53,458 -HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 1406 00:54:53,491 --> 00:54:55,460 YEAH, YOU TOO. 1407 00:54:56,994 --> 00:54:59,364 DAMNIT. 1408 00:54:59,397 --> 00:55:00,998 [TOMMY] HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? 1409 00:55:01,031 --> 00:55:01,966 LOVE. 1410 00:55:01,999 --> 00:55:03,401 UH, YES. 1411 00:55:03,434 --> 00:55:04,635 ONCE. 1412 00:55:04,669 --> 00:55:07,705 HE WAS A RODEO CLOWN. 1413 00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:10,375 HE WAS A SAD RODEO CLOWN. 1414 00:55:10,408 --> 00:55:11,942 THAT WAS HIS GIMMICK. 1415 00:55:11,976 --> 00:55:13,711 HE WAS THE SAD RODEO CLOWN. 1416 00:55:13,744 --> 00:55:16,847 BUT THAT CAUSED HIM TO MOVE SLOWLY. 1417 00:55:16,881 --> 00:55:18,849 UH, SO HE WAS KILLED TRAGICALLY. 1418 00:55:18,883 --> 00:55:19,850 AND HE COULDN'T RUN AWAY? 1419 00:55:19,884 --> 00:55:21,118 NO, HE WOULDN'T BREAK CHARACTER. 1420 00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:22,319 HE WOULDN'T BREAK CHARACTER. 1421 00:55:22,353 --> 00:55:26,391 HE WAS A SAD RODEO CLOWN AND SO EVERYTHING WAS ALWAYS... 1422 00:55:26,424 --> 00:55:27,392 -IN SILENCE. 1423 00:55:27,425 --> 00:55:30,060 AND HE WAS KILLED PRETTY MUCH HIS FIRST TIME OUT. 1424 00:55:30,094 --> 00:55:31,762 WOW. 1425 00:55:31,796 --> 00:55:32,730 THAT IS SAD. 1426 00:55:32,763 --> 00:55:33,664 YEAH. 1427 00:55:33,698 --> 00:55:36,367 I'M REALLY SORRY TO BRING THAT UP, MAN. 1428 00:55:36,401 --> 00:55:39,970 SHANE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE MONEY, OK? 1429 00:55:40,004 --> 00:55:41,506 WE KNOW HOW TO MAKE MONEY. 1430 00:55:41,539 --> 00:55:42,707 WE HAVE A PAL NAMED EDDIE. 1431 00:55:42,740 --> 00:55:43,541 FAST EDDIE. 1432 00:55:43,574 --> 00:55:44,475 YEAH. 1433 00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:46,611 FAST EDDIE OWNS A COMPANY CALLED SEX TECH. 1434 00:55:46,644 --> 00:55:48,679 HE'S LIKE THE AMWAY OF SEX TOYS. 1435 00:55:48,713 --> 00:55:49,614 YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S THINKING. 1436 00:55:49,647 --> 00:55:53,784 SEX TECH IN EVERY STRIP CLUB IN AMERICA. 1437 00:55:53,818 --> 00:55:55,820 STARTING WITH THIS ONE. 1438 00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:57,988 THINK SEXY LEGOS. 1439 00:55:58,022 --> 00:55:59,724 SEXY JACK N THE BOX. 1440 00:55:59,757 --> 00:56:01,392 BOOM BOOM POP! PUSSY. 1441 00:56:01,426 --> 00:56:03,928 -WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? SEXY LEGOS? 1442 00:56:03,961 --> 00:56:05,062 THAT'S NOT SEX TOYS. 1443 00:56:05,095 --> 00:56:07,097 WE'RE TALKING LINCOLN LOGS THAT YOU PUT IN YOUR ASS. 1444 00:56:07,131 --> 00:56:09,700 THAT'S NOT WHAT FAST EDDIE'S THINKING, OK? 1445 00:56:09,734 --> 00:56:10,768 IT MAKES SENSE. 1446 00:56:10,801 --> 00:56:12,036 WHEN STAR WARS CAME OUT, 1447 00:56:12,069 --> 00:56:14,772 I HAD THAT PRINCESS LEIA ACTION FIGURE WRAPPED AROUND MY DICK. 1448 00:56:14,805 --> 00:56:16,874 THAT WAS MY PRINCESS LEIA ACTION FIGURE. 1449 00:56:16,907 --> 00:56:17,908 I FUCKED HER. 1450 00:56:17,942 --> 00:56:20,411 YOU FUCKED LEIA? 1451 00:56:20,445 --> 00:56:21,646 I FUCKED YOUR CATCHERS MITT. 1452 00:56:21,679 --> 00:56:22,880 I FUCKED YOUR PLAYDOH. 1453 00:56:22,913 --> 00:56:24,415 I FUCKED YOUR TRAPPER KEEPER. 1454 00:56:24,449 --> 00:56:26,116 I SHOVED THAT RUBIK'S CUBE UP MY ASS. 1455 00:56:26,150 --> 00:56:28,419 DID YOU FUCK ALL MY TOYS? 1456 00:56:28,453 --> 00:56:29,420 PRETTY MUCH. 1457 00:56:29,454 --> 00:56:30,120 AHHH! 1458 00:56:30,154 --> 00:56:31,422 MAN. 1459 00:56:31,456 --> 00:56:33,458 DAD!! 1460 00:56:33,491 --> 00:56:36,994 THANK YOU GUYS FOR TAKING A COUPLE MINUTES 1461 00:56:37,027 --> 00:56:39,063 OUT OF YOUR STRIPPING. 1462 00:56:39,096 --> 00:56:40,798 MY NAME IS EDDIE. 1463 00:56:40,831 --> 00:56:46,637 I AM THE C.E.O. OF SEX TECH. 1464 00:56:46,671 --> 00:56:49,106 [CLAPPING] 1465 00:56:49,139 --> 00:56:53,844 SO, I'M HERE TO PRESENT TO YOU THE NEXT PHASE 1466 00:56:53,878 --> 00:56:56,614 IN ORGASMIC PLEASURE. RIGHT? REMEMBER? 1467 00:56:56,647 --> 00:56:57,682 [DEEP SIGH] 1468 00:56:57,715 --> 00:56:58,683 I CAN'T WAIT. 1469 00:56:58,716 --> 00:57:04,822 I HAVE BEEN MAKING SEX TOYS IN MY LABORATORY. 1470 00:57:04,855 --> 00:57:06,657 IT'S A GARAGE. IT'S REALLY AWESOME. 1471 00:57:06,691 --> 00:57:08,192 ALRIGHT, TAKE IT EASY. 1472 00:57:12,830 --> 00:57:14,064 AH COME ON, MAN. 1473 00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:15,099 DUDE, THERE'S NO DOOR. 1474 00:57:15,132 --> 00:57:15,900 YOUR CLUB. 1475 00:57:15,933 --> 00:57:17,468 CHEAP ASS. 1476 00:57:17,502 --> 00:57:18,368 DID YOU ASK CHRISTINA OUT? 1477 00:57:18,402 --> 00:57:21,739 OR ARE YOU UH, LIKE STILL A LIMP DICK? 1478 00:57:21,772 --> 00:57:23,674 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M INTERESTED IN HER? 1479 00:57:23,708 --> 00:57:25,610 COME ON, DUDE. 1480 00:57:25,643 --> 00:57:32,917 SO I'M HERE TO PRESENT TO YOU THE COCK BOXER 2000. 1481 00:57:42,026 --> 00:57:45,763 [CLAPPING] 1482 00:57:48,633 --> 00:57:50,568 YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU JUST GOTTA LIKE WRITE HER A NOTE, 1483 00:57:50,601 --> 00:57:52,937 BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN GOOD AT TALKING TO GIRLS. 1484 00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,204 REMEMBER LUCY MARTIN? 1485 00:57:54,238 --> 00:57:56,641 YOU OBSESSED OVER HER A WHOLE SUMMER AT CAMP. 1486 00:57:56,674 --> 00:57:58,643 AND BY THE TIME YOU GOT THE NUTS TO ASK HER OUT, 1487 00:57:58,676 --> 00:58:01,546 SHE WAS ALREADY FUCKING ANOTHER DUDE. 1488 00:58:01,579 --> 00:58:02,880 YEAH, YOU. 1489 00:58:02,913 --> 00:58:04,281 YOU FUCKED HER ON MY BUNK. 1490 00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:06,116 EXACTLY. THAT'S MY POINT. 1491 00:58:06,150 --> 00:58:08,719 YOU GOTTA CARPE DOUBLE DIEM. 1492 00:58:08,753 --> 00:58:10,988 SEIZE THE SNATCH, DUDE. 1493 00:58:11,021 --> 00:58:16,727 WHEN I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD I SAW MY PUPPY RED ROCKET. 1494 00:58:16,761 --> 00:58:18,663 [CLUCKS TONGUE] 1495 00:58:18,696 --> 00:58:22,667 I WAS JUST WONDERING IF FOR THE RED ROCKET YOU'D HAVE A HOLSTER? 1496 00:58:22,700 --> 00:58:25,936 LEATHER SOMETHING- YOU COULD BE MOBILE WITH IT? 1497 00:58:25,970 --> 00:58:29,173 LIKE AS A SIDE ITEM YOU COULD BUY. 1498 00:58:29,206 --> 00:58:31,909 WE SHOULD COME UP WITH THAT. WE SHOULD COME UP WITH THAT. 1499 00:58:31,942 --> 00:58:33,778 JUST HOLD IT. 1500 00:58:33,811 --> 00:58:35,212 AND YOU'RE READY TO GO. 1501 00:58:35,245 --> 00:58:37,314 BOOM. READY TO GO. 1502 00:58:37,347 --> 00:58:38,883 YOU'LL MAKE A LOT OF MONEY THAT WAY. 1503 00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:40,050 RIGHT. 1504 00:58:40,084 --> 00:58:41,251 IT'S TOO LATE ANYWAYS, MAN. 1505 00:58:41,285 --> 00:58:42,853 SHE'S WORKING TONIGHT. 1506 00:58:42,887 --> 00:58:44,121 DUDE, THAT'S PERFECT. 1507 00:58:44,154 --> 00:58:48,325 YOU JUST LIKE INVITE HER TO YOUR OFFICE FOR A LATE NIGHT DINNER. 1508 00:58:48,358 --> 00:58:51,161 WRITE HER THE NOTE, BE ALL FLOWERY AND WORDY AND GAY 1509 00:58:51,195 --> 00:58:53,297 WHICH IS LIKE RIGHT IN YOUR WHEEL HOUSE. 1510 00:58:53,330 --> 00:58:56,166 MAKE IT FROM HER SECRET ADMIRER OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. 1511 00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:57,935 GET A LITTLE WINE. 1512 00:58:57,968 --> 00:58:59,236 A LITTLE CANDLELIGHT. 1513 00:58:59,269 --> 00:59:00,905 THIS IS A PROTOTYPE. 1514 00:59:00,938 --> 00:59:03,273 ALL THE KINKS HAVE NOT BEEN WORKED OUT. 1515 00:59:03,307 --> 00:59:05,109 ARE YOU READY TO BE TURNED ON? 1516 00:59:05,142 --> 00:59:06,677 YES. 1517 00:59:08,278 --> 00:59:09,914 [BUZZING] 1518 00:59:09,947 --> 00:59:11,181 [CLAPPING] 1519 00:59:11,215 --> 00:59:13,684 I- I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING. 1520 00:59:13,718 --> 00:59:14,619 OH! 1521 00:59:14,652 --> 00:59:17,655 OOH OOH! 1522 00:59:20,124 --> 00:59:21,158 [APPLAUSE] 1523 00:59:21,191 --> 00:59:23,227 OOH OOH! 1524 00:59:23,260 --> 00:59:24,795 YOU OK? 1525 00:59:31,702 --> 00:59:32,670 DOES ANYBODY WANT ONE? 1526 00:59:36,741 --> 00:59:38,743 WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT? WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT? 1527 00:59:38,776 --> 00:59:42,312 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SODOMIZING HER ON YOUR DESK. 1528 00:59:42,346 --> 00:59:44,715 YEAH, YOU'RE A FUCKING TRUE ROMANTIC. 1529 00:59:44,749 --> 00:59:47,652 [CHUCKLING] 1530 00:59:47,685 --> 00:59:51,021 YOU KNOW, BUT IT'S NOT THE WORST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD, BRO. 1531 00:59:51,055 --> 00:59:52,389 YOU'RE WELCOME. 1532 00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:54,091 NOW, MAN UP. 1533 00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:55,793 INK THE QUILL. 1534 00:59:55,826 --> 00:59:58,796 AND GET RIGHT IN SHAKESPEARE. 1535 00:59:58,829 --> 01:00:01,298 ALRIGHT, MAN, I'M GONNA DO IT. 1536 01:00:01,331 --> 01:00:02,399 THANKS, DUDE. 1537 01:00:02,432 --> 01:00:04,134 FUCK YEAH, MAN. 1538 01:00:04,168 --> 01:00:06,637 OH FUCK. DUDE, I HAVE NO TOILET PAPER. 1539 01:00:06,671 --> 01:00:09,807 DUDE, ALL I HAVE IS ROLLING PAPERS! 1540 01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:11,408 I'VE BEEN IN LOVE TWO TIMES. 1541 01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:13,343 THE FIRST WAS KURT GORGSKY. 1542 01:00:13,377 --> 01:00:15,680 WE DID IT IN HIS WINNEABAGO AT THE INDY 500. 1543 01:00:15,713 --> 01:00:18,783 BUT KURT JUST WASN'T EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE. 1544 01:00:18,816 --> 01:00:21,952 AND HE ALSO HUFFED A LOT OF GAS. 1545 01:00:23,821 --> 01:00:28,659 * 1546 01:00:31,729 --> 01:00:32,830 TITTY, TITTY, TITTY. 1547 01:00:32,863 --> 01:00:33,931 [CHEERING] 1548 01:00:33,964 --> 01:00:35,265 YEAH, BABY. 1549 01:00:35,299 --> 01:00:37,001 WOO. 1550 01:00:44,374 --> 01:00:45,242 CHRISTINA. 1551 01:00:45,275 --> 01:00:47,678 SOMEBODY LEFT THESE OUT FRONT FOR YOU. 1552 01:00:47,712 --> 01:00:48,679 FOR ME? 1553 01:00:48,713 --> 01:00:49,714 WHO IS IT FROM? 1554 01:00:49,747 --> 01:00:51,015 IT SAYS ANONYMOUS. 1555 01:00:51,048 --> 01:00:52,750 I THINK. 1556 01:00:52,783 --> 01:00:54,919 ANONYMOUS? THAT'S WEIRD. 1557 01:00:54,952 --> 01:00:57,922 IN MATTERS OF THE HEART, NOTHING IS ORDINARY. 1558 01:00:57,955 --> 01:01:00,190 EXCEPT THE IMPROBABLE. 1559 01:01:03,493 --> 01:01:05,429 THANKS, PAULIE. 1560 01:01:05,462 --> 01:01:06,964 I'M GONNA LEAVE NOW. 1561 01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:08,966 UH HUH. 1562 01:01:11,335 --> 01:01:12,803 BYE. 1563 01:01:29,486 --> 01:01:30,921 WOO! 1564 01:01:33,157 --> 01:01:35,692 TITTIES. 1565 01:01:39,263 --> 01:01:41,098 UGH! 1566 01:01:41,932 --> 01:01:45,302 GOD DAMNIT! 1567 01:01:45,335 --> 01:01:46,904 JOSH, BIG GULP, LIGHT BOARD. 1568 01:01:46,937 --> 01:01:48,372 TOTAL BLACK OUT. 1569 01:01:48,405 --> 01:01:50,741 [CROWD COMPLAINING] 1570 01:01:50,775 --> 01:01:53,010 COME ON, COME ON. 1571 01:01:53,043 --> 01:01:54,178 [CHRISTINA] GO GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER. 1572 01:01:54,211 --> 01:01:56,013 GO, GO, GO! 1573 01:01:57,481 --> 01:01:59,016 [ELECTRIC ZAPPING] 1574 01:02:03,854 --> 01:02:04,922 UGH. 1575 01:02:04,955 --> 01:02:06,190 GOD. 1576 01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:08,258 IT'S SO SWEET I WANT TO PUKE. 1577 01:02:11,796 --> 01:02:13,764 [JOSH] WE'RE JUST GOING TO TAKE JUST A SMALL BREAK RIGHT NOW. 1578 01:02:13,798 --> 01:02:16,300 WHILE I TRY TO GET SOME MORE FEELING THROUGHOUT MY BODY 1579 01:02:16,333 --> 01:02:19,804 AND UH... COMING UP NEXT- 1580 01:02:19,837 --> 01:02:23,240 [PHONE RINGING] 1581 01:02:24,942 --> 01:02:26,443 HELLO? 1582 01:02:26,476 --> 01:02:29,146 CHLOE, OH MY GOD. 1583 01:02:29,179 --> 01:02:33,517 SOMEONE LEFT FLOWERS AND A CARD FOR YOU. 1584 01:02:33,550 --> 01:02:36,020 LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A SECRET ADMIRER. 1585 01:02:36,053 --> 01:02:37,354 FOR ME? REALLY? 1586 01:02:37,387 --> 01:02:38,956 OH MY GOD, READ IT. 1587 01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:42,893 IF MUSIC IS THE FOOD OF LOVE, THAN PLAY ON. 1588 01:02:42,927 --> 01:02:46,030 MEET ME TONIGHT FOR A CANDLELIGHT DINNER. 1589 01:02:46,063 --> 01:02:48,298 CLOTHING OPTIONAL. 1590 01:02:48,332 --> 01:02:51,168 X.X.X.O. 1591 01:02:51,201 --> 01:02:54,271 OH MY GOSH, IT'S SHANE. 1592 01:02:54,304 --> 01:02:56,306 TODAY WHEN I GAVE HIM A HUG, 1593 01:02:56,340 --> 01:03:00,044 CHRISTINA CAME IN AND IT GOT ALL WEIRD. 1594 01:03:00,077 --> 01:03:01,812 I'M SO EXCITED. 1595 01:03:01,846 --> 01:03:03,313 WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? 1596 01:03:03,347 --> 01:03:07,151 WELL IF IT WERE ME, I'D WEAR SOMETHING EXTRA SLUTTY. 1597 01:03:07,184 --> 01:03:08,919 BUT, I MEAN, YOU KNOW... 1598 01:03:08,953 --> 01:03:10,855 GUYS LIKE IT WHEN YOU'RE A LITTLE MYSTERIOUS 1599 01:03:10,888 --> 01:03:12,556 AND UNPREDICTABLE, 1600 01:03:12,589 --> 01:03:15,325 SO COME EARLY AND SURPRISE HIM. 1601 01:03:15,359 --> 01:03:17,227 YEAH. 1602 01:03:17,261 --> 01:03:18,929 MYSTERIOUS. 1603 01:03:18,963 --> 01:03:20,530 I LIKE THAT. 1604 01:03:20,564 --> 01:03:21,698 OOH. 1605 01:03:21,731 --> 01:03:25,002 MAYBE I SHOULD SHAVE MY BUSH INTO A LITTLE HEART SHAPE. 1606 01:03:25,035 --> 01:03:26,871 THANKS SO MUCH, BOOTS. 1607 01:03:26,904 --> 01:03:28,238 BYE. 1608 01:03:31,909 --> 01:03:33,577 IDIOT. 1609 01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:37,014 OH MY GOSH. 1610 01:03:39,216 --> 01:03:41,151 HI, SHANE. 1611 01:03:42,286 --> 01:03:43,587 I'M READY FOR YOU. 1612 01:03:43,620 --> 01:03:45,355 I THINK SHANE... 1613 01:03:45,389 --> 01:03:46,957 IS SO DREAMY. 1614 01:03:47,624 --> 01:03:50,060 WELL HELLO, SHANE. 1615 01:03:50,094 --> 01:03:52,529 I'VE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY GIRL. 1616 01:03:54,064 --> 01:03:54,965 BANG. 1617 01:03:54,999 --> 01:03:56,200 RIGHT IN THE HEART. 1618 01:03:56,233 --> 01:03:58,869 HE'S LIKE THE SWEETEST GUY IN THE WORLD. 1619 01:03:58,903 --> 01:04:00,204 ARE YOU SURPRISED? 1620 01:04:00,237 --> 01:04:01,405 I'M SO SURPRISED. 1621 01:04:01,438 --> 01:04:03,607 HE'S DEFINITELY THE BOYFRIEND KIND OF GUY. 1622 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,010 I COULD SEE HIM TAKING ME OUT ON A DATE AND- 1623 01:04:06,043 --> 01:04:08,212 WILL YOU MARRY ME? 1624 01:04:08,245 --> 01:04:09,947 [SIGHS] 1625 01:04:09,980 --> 01:04:11,515 MYSTERIOUS CHLOE. 1626 01:04:11,548 --> 01:04:13,183 OH, CHLOE YEAH. 1627 01:04:13,217 --> 01:04:14,118 OH YEAH. 1628 01:04:14,151 --> 01:04:15,920 SURPRISE. 1629 01:04:15,953 --> 01:04:18,989 TAKING ME TO A NICE DINNER AND MOVIE, AND THEN AT THE END, 1630 01:04:19,023 --> 01:04:20,390 HE JUST PULLS HIS COCK OUT AND HE JUST 1631 01:04:20,424 --> 01:04:22,392 FUCKS THE SHIT OUT OF MY PUSSY. 1632 01:04:22,426 --> 01:04:23,593 TAKE ME, SHANE. 1633 01:04:23,627 --> 01:04:25,162 I LOVE YOU. 1634 01:04:25,195 --> 01:04:29,266 OH OH! 1635 01:04:29,299 --> 01:04:30,167 YES. 1636 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,169 OH GOSH, SHANE. 1637 01:04:39,576 --> 01:04:41,979 * 1638 01:04:42,012 --> 01:04:43,347 [KNOCKING] 1639 01:04:51,355 --> 01:04:53,157 [SEDUCTIVE GIGGLE] 1640 01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:55,559 WHAT ARE WE DOING? 1641 01:04:55,592 --> 01:04:57,995 BEING MYSTERIOUS. 1642 01:04:59,396 --> 01:05:00,530 THIS IS NICE. 1643 01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:01,431 SHHH. 1644 01:05:01,465 --> 01:05:02,632 [GIGGLES] 1645 01:05:02,666 --> 01:05:04,534 OK. 1646 01:05:04,568 --> 01:05:05,902 TAKE IT OFF. 1647 01:05:08,105 --> 01:05:09,039 CHLOE! 1648 01:05:09,073 --> 01:05:10,574 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 1649 01:05:10,607 --> 01:05:12,676 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 1650 01:05:12,709 --> 01:05:15,079 OH BABY, I WANT YOUR CANDY IN MY BOX RIGHT NOW. 1651 01:05:15,112 --> 01:05:16,013 CHLOE! 1652 01:05:16,046 --> 01:05:17,547 CHRISTINA. -CHRISTINA! 1653 01:05:17,581 --> 01:05:18,582 CHRISTINA, WAIT UH... 1654 01:05:18,615 --> 01:05:20,184 IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. 1655 01:05:20,217 --> 01:05:22,552 I LIKE YOUR HAIR. IT LOOKS VERY PRETTY. 1656 01:05:22,586 --> 01:05:25,089 WOW, YOU LOOK GREAT. 1657 01:05:25,122 --> 01:05:27,124 IS THIS WHY YOU INVITED ME HERE? 1658 01:05:27,157 --> 01:05:29,026 SO THAT YOU COULD HAVE A THREEWAY WITH A STRIPPER 1659 01:05:29,059 --> 01:05:30,160 AND A COCKTAIL WAITRESS? 1660 01:05:30,194 --> 01:05:31,161 IT'S OK, CHRISTINA. 1661 01:05:31,195 --> 01:05:32,362 I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT EITHER. 1662 01:05:32,396 --> 01:05:33,730 I DIDN'T PLAN THIS. 1663 01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:34,965 I'M UP FOR IT IF YOU ARE. 1664 01:05:34,999 --> 01:05:36,600 YOUR BODY'S AMAZING. 1665 01:05:36,633 --> 01:05:38,735 CHRISTINA, I'M- I AM SO SORRY. 1666 01:05:38,768 --> 01:05:41,538 NO, I AM SORRY. 1667 01:05:41,571 --> 01:05:43,640 I GUESS I'M JUST AN OLD FASHIONED GIRL WHO ISN'T 1668 01:05:43,673 --> 01:05:45,309 INTO OTHER GIRLS. 1669 01:05:45,342 --> 01:05:46,376 I'M NOT EITHER. 1670 01:05:46,410 --> 01:05:49,079 I MEAN I AM- I AM, BUT I JUST- ONLY ONE AT A TIME. 1671 01:05:49,113 --> 01:05:52,082 IT'S OK, GUYS. WE CAN SWITCH OFF. 1672 01:05:52,116 --> 01:05:54,151 THANK YOU, CHLOE. 1673 01:05:54,184 --> 01:05:55,986 HE'S ALL YOURS. 1674 01:05:56,020 --> 01:05:57,321 I TRY TO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE PERSON 1675 01:05:57,354 --> 01:05:58,722 THAT I WORK WITH AT A TIME. 1676 01:05:58,755 --> 01:06:00,624 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER NEXT WEEK 1677 01:06:00,657 --> 01:06:02,392 AND FUCK EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT. 1678 01:06:02,426 --> 01:06:05,362 BECAUSE I DON'T WORK HERE ANYMORE. 1679 01:06:05,395 --> 01:06:06,630 DON'T FORGET TO LOCK UP. 1680 01:06:06,663 --> 01:06:08,398 CHRISTINA, COME ON, WAIT. 1681 01:06:10,034 --> 01:06:11,368 I'M SORRY, SHANE. 1682 01:06:11,401 --> 01:06:12,436 YEAH, ME TOO. 1683 01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:15,172 SHOULD I GO AND GET ONE OF THE OTHER GIRLS, OR... 1684 01:06:15,205 --> 01:06:17,274 AM I ENOUGH? 1685 01:06:22,412 --> 01:06:23,447 NO WAIT, I CAN'T. 1686 01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,115 I CAN'T DO THIS. 1687 01:06:25,149 --> 01:06:26,016 I'M SORRY. 1688 01:06:26,050 --> 01:06:28,085 I'M REALLY SORRY. 1689 01:06:34,391 --> 01:06:36,026 WE'RE HERE TO LEARN. 1690 01:06:36,060 --> 01:06:37,494 WE'RE HERE TO STRETCH. 1691 01:06:37,527 --> 01:06:38,595 LET'S JUST IMPROVISE A LITTLE. 1692 01:06:38,628 --> 01:06:39,629 LET'S JUST MOVE AROUND. 1693 01:06:39,663 --> 01:06:40,630 JUST AD-LIB SOMETHING. 1694 01:06:40,664 --> 01:06:41,731 JUST SHAKE. MOVE AROUND. 1695 01:06:41,765 --> 01:06:42,666 JUST DANCE A LITTLE. 1696 01:06:42,699 --> 01:06:45,102 JUST DANCE A LITTLE. JUST DANCE A LITTLE. 1697 01:06:45,135 --> 01:06:46,636 OK, NOW LADIES, I WANT YOU DO ME A FAVOR. 1698 01:06:46,670 --> 01:06:50,574 POINT TO WHAT YOU THINK IS YOUR GREATEST ASSET AS A DANCER. 1699 01:06:50,607 --> 01:06:52,309 POINT TO WHAT YOU THINK IT IS. 1700 01:06:52,342 --> 01:06:54,111 NO, NO. 1701 01:06:54,144 --> 01:06:55,279 NO, YOU'RE ALL WRONG. 1702 01:06:55,312 --> 01:06:56,513 YOU'RE ALL WRONG. 1703 01:06:56,546 --> 01:06:57,681 NO, IT'S THIS THING. 1704 01:06:57,714 --> 01:06:59,149 IT'S THIS THING. 1705 01:06:59,183 --> 01:07:00,450 OH OUR FACES? 1706 01:07:00,484 --> 01:07:02,319 YEAH, YOU CARRY AROUND ON THE FRONT OF YOUR HEAD. 1707 01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:03,487 YOUR FACE. 1708 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:05,589 THAT'S YOUR GREATEST ASSET AS A DANCER. 1709 01:07:05,622 --> 01:07:09,159 YOU WANT TO HAVE ANGEL EYES AND DEVIL SMILE. 1710 01:07:09,193 --> 01:07:11,828 OR YOU WANT TO HAVE AN ANGEL SMILE AND DEVIL EYES. 1711 01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:13,297 YOU NEVER- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 1712 01:07:13,330 --> 01:07:15,132 I'M SO SORRY. 1713 01:07:15,165 --> 01:07:17,534 YOU KNOW WHAT, WHEN YOU COME IN LATE LIKE THIS... 1714 01:07:17,567 --> 01:07:19,436 YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT ME YOU'RE DISRESPECTING. 1715 01:07:19,469 --> 01:07:20,537 I'M SORRY LADIES. 1716 01:07:20,570 --> 01:07:24,108 YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T TAKE THIS ART SERIOUSLY. 1717 01:07:24,141 --> 01:07:27,811 YEAH, EVERYONE GIVE ME EITHER ANGEL EYES, DEVIL SMILE 1718 01:07:27,844 --> 01:07:29,279 OR DEVIL EYES, ANGEL SMILE. 1719 01:07:29,313 --> 01:07:31,148 GO. 1720 01:07:31,748 --> 01:07:33,250 NO, YOU'RE DOING- YOU'RE DOING DEVIL DEVIL. 1721 01:07:33,283 --> 01:07:34,251 DON'T DO DEVIL DEVIL. 1722 01:07:34,284 --> 01:07:36,653 CRAZY. IT COMES OFF CRAZY. 1723 01:07:36,686 --> 01:07:37,687 THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. 1724 01:07:37,721 --> 01:07:39,489 CHLOE'S GOT IT. CHLOE'S GOT IT. 1725 01:07:39,523 --> 01:07:41,825 SHE'S GOT THE DEVIL EYES NOW AND THE ANGEL SMILE- 1726 01:07:41,858 --> 01:07:44,361 I'VE BEEN IN PAGEANTS SINCE I WAS THREE. 1727 01:07:44,394 --> 01:07:45,729 WHENEVER I'M GETTING ALL OF THIS MONEY, IT'S LIKE 1728 01:07:45,762 --> 01:07:47,797 I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYWHERE TO PUT IT ANYMORE. 1729 01:07:47,831 --> 01:07:49,399 YEAH, WHERE DO YOU PUT IT? EXACTLY. 1730 01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:51,768 SO, WE NEED LIKE POUCHES OR SOMETHING. 1731 01:07:51,801 --> 01:07:53,237 I DON'T THINK YOU CAN REALLY WEAR A POUCH. 1732 01:07:53,270 --> 01:07:55,172 OH, A FANNY PACK? LIKE PINK? 1733 01:07:55,205 --> 01:07:57,441 YEAH, FANNY PACKS! 1734 01:07:57,474 --> 01:07:58,775 NO MAN ALIVE CAN MAINTAIN AN ERECTION 1735 01:07:58,808 --> 01:08:00,877 WHEN HE'S LOOKING AT A WOMAN WEARING A FANNY PACK. 1736 01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:02,246 I'M NOT SAYING WHO'S THE BEST. 1737 01:08:02,279 --> 01:08:03,547 I'M GONNA SAY WHO HAS- 1738 01:08:03,580 --> 01:08:04,781 YOU ALL HAVE YOUR GOOD TRAITS. 1739 01:08:04,814 --> 01:08:06,483 LAYLA, YOU HAVE GREAT TITS, LAYLA. 1740 01:08:06,516 --> 01:08:08,352 YOU HAVE GREAT TITS. 1741 01:08:08,385 --> 01:08:10,820 AND YOU HAVE GOOD INTERPERSONAL SKILLS. 1742 01:08:10,854 --> 01:08:13,157 YOU TREAT PEOPLE WITH RESPECT. 1743 01:08:13,190 --> 01:08:16,293 YOU COMBINE RESPECT WITH GREAT TITS 1744 01:08:16,326 --> 01:08:18,828 AND YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING MAGICAL GOING ON ONSTAGE. 1745 01:08:18,862 --> 01:08:21,298 AND CHLOE AND YOU JUST MAKE IT ALL SEEM PURE. 1746 01:08:21,331 --> 01:08:23,567 IT'S LIKE GOING TO SEE YOUR DAUGHTER AT A DANCE RECITAL. 1747 01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,702 IT'S JUST WHOLESOME. 1748 01:08:25,735 --> 01:08:27,737 YOU HAVE WHOLESOME TITS. 1749 01:08:27,771 --> 01:08:30,774 AND THAT'S- THAT'S THAT IS A GIFT FROM GOD. 1750 01:08:30,807 --> 01:08:32,176 THAT YOU CAN'T BUY. 1751 01:08:32,209 --> 01:08:33,610 WELL... 1752 01:08:33,643 --> 01:08:35,712 THERE'S PEOPLE WORKING ON IT. 1753 01:08:36,480 --> 01:08:39,449 * 1754 01:08:39,483 --> 01:08:42,152 [HOOTING AND HOLLERING] 1755 01:08:49,426 --> 01:08:50,727 [JIMMY] GENTLEMAN, A QUICK REMAINDER. 1756 01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:53,430 THERE ARE NO DRUGS ALLOWED HERE IN THE BUILDING, 1757 01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:56,800 BUT HOWEVER BEHIND THE BUILDING OR IN MY CAR, 1758 01:08:56,833 --> 01:08:59,236 THEY ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE. 1759 01:09:00,437 --> 01:09:02,272 [PITT] DICKY A HAND JOB? DICKY-? 1760 01:09:02,306 --> 01:09:03,673 [CHANCY] WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME- 1761 01:09:03,707 --> 01:09:05,909 DID YOU GIVE SHANE A COCK GOBBLE? 1762 01:09:05,942 --> 01:09:07,711 [SHOUTING AT EACHOTHER] 1763 01:09:07,744 --> 01:09:09,313 WHAT THE HELL? 1764 01:09:10,347 --> 01:09:11,848 I LOVE YOU. 1765 01:09:12,949 --> 01:09:18,422 * 1766 01:09:19,523 --> 01:09:20,557 SHANE. 1767 01:09:20,590 --> 01:09:21,958 WE'RE GOING TO A NAKED POOL PARTY IN THE VALLEY. 1768 01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:22,459 WHAT? 1769 01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:23,660 NO ONE SAID NAKED? 1770 01:09:23,693 --> 01:09:24,561 [CHUCKLING] 1771 01:09:24,594 --> 01:09:25,929 YOU COMING, MAN? 1772 01:09:25,962 --> 01:09:28,398 NO, I HAVE A DATE ALREADY. 1773 01:09:28,432 --> 01:09:29,566 WITH JACK. 1774 01:09:32,236 --> 01:09:33,703 SHE'S GONE, BROTHER. 1775 01:09:33,737 --> 01:09:35,339 YOU GOTTA HANG TOUGH. 1776 01:09:37,241 --> 01:09:41,611 A NEW DAY WILL DAWN FOR THOSE WHO STAY STRONG. 1777 01:09:41,645 --> 01:09:43,480 ZEPPELIN. 1778 01:09:43,513 --> 01:09:46,450 THEY SPEAK TRUTH. 1779 01:09:46,483 --> 01:09:49,686 JUST CALL IF YOU GET WEIRD, OK MAN? 1780 01:09:51,921 --> 01:09:53,690 BABES. 1781 01:09:53,723 --> 01:09:56,626 [GIRL] WAIT, IS HE ALREADY HIGH? GIVE ME YOUR KEYS. 1782 01:09:56,660 --> 01:09:57,294 [TOMMY] IT'S NOT EVEN MY CAR. 1783 01:09:57,327 --> 01:09:58,428 I AM NOT LETTING YOU DRIVE. 1784 01:09:58,462 --> 01:09:59,863 WHEN DID YOU GET HIGH? 1785 01:09:59,896 --> 01:10:02,432 JUST ALL WEEK, MAN, WHAT THE FUCK? 1786 01:10:02,999 --> 01:10:05,569 [JIMMY] ALRIGHT, GUYS, LET'S PUT THIS TRAIN WRECK TO SLEEP. 1787 01:10:05,602 --> 01:10:07,771 IT'S FIVE IN THE MORNING. 1788 01:10:07,804 --> 01:10:09,673 DOES ANYONE CARE WHERE YOU ARE? 1789 01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:11,808 ANY CHANCE YOU'RE GOING UP THE 101 NORTH, 1790 01:10:11,841 --> 01:10:12,909 I COULD USE A RIDE. 1791 01:10:12,942 --> 01:10:13,977 SERIOUSLY. 1792 01:10:14,010 --> 01:10:15,879 PANCAKES ARE ON ME. 1793 01:10:15,912 --> 01:10:17,514 WHAT THE FUCK? 1794 01:10:18,682 --> 01:10:19,649 CAN'T GET IT IN? 1795 01:10:19,683 --> 01:10:20,817 [GASPS] 1796 01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:22,919 YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. 1797 01:10:22,952 --> 01:10:25,355 DON'T BE SCARED. 1798 01:10:25,389 --> 01:10:26,590 YOU LOOK AWFUL. 1799 01:10:28,024 --> 01:10:29,793 IS IT CHRISTINA? 1800 01:10:29,826 --> 01:10:32,529 [SIGHS] 1801 01:10:32,562 --> 01:10:35,765 I CAN'T LET YOU DRIVE HOME LIKE THIS. 1802 01:10:35,799 --> 01:10:38,435 WHY DON'T YOU, UH, COME HOME WITH ME, AND... 1803 01:10:38,468 --> 01:10:40,504 WE'LL TALK. 1804 01:10:41,705 --> 01:10:44,774 YEAH, I COULD... 1805 01:10:44,808 --> 01:10:46,610 I COULD USE A GOOD TALK. 1806 01:10:48,011 --> 01:10:50,880 WELL THAT'S GOOD, 'CUZ I'M A GOOD TALKER. 1807 01:10:50,914 --> 01:10:53,917 I WANT YOU TALK MY BRAINS OUT. 1808 01:10:53,950 --> 01:11:00,023 I COULD TALK TO YOU ALL NIGHT LONG. 1809 01:11:00,056 --> 01:11:01,558 IT'S TIME TO PLAY, SHANE. 1810 01:11:01,591 --> 01:11:02,859 * 1811 01:11:02,892 --> 01:11:03,660 [BARKS] 1812 01:11:03,693 --> 01:11:04,861 YOU'RE INCREDIBLE. 1813 01:11:04,894 --> 01:11:05,895 NO, NO, NO, NO. 1814 01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:07,531 UH, UH. 1815 01:11:07,564 --> 01:11:10,434 * 1816 01:11:10,467 --> 01:11:11,468 YES. 1817 01:11:11,501 --> 01:11:13,570 UH, UH, OOH. 1818 01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:15,572 SUCH A DIRTY FUCKING BOY. 1819 01:11:15,605 --> 01:11:17,341 [MOANING] 1820 01:11:17,374 --> 01:11:18,074 I KNOW YOU LOVE IT. 1821 01:11:18,107 --> 01:11:19,476 AHH! 1822 01:11:19,509 --> 01:11:20,610 OH YES. OOH! 1823 01:11:20,644 --> 01:11:21,945 UGH! 1824 01:11:21,978 --> 01:11:23,480 * 1825 01:11:23,513 --> 01:11:24,448 [FABRIC RIPPING] 1826 01:11:24,481 --> 01:11:26,683 OH YES. 1827 01:11:26,716 --> 01:11:28,918 OH MY GOD. 1828 01:11:36,493 --> 01:11:38,428 GOOD MORNING, STUD. 1829 01:11:38,462 --> 01:11:39,629 [LAUGHS] 1830 01:11:39,663 --> 01:11:41,097 WOW. 1831 01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:43,467 I THOUGHT YOUR UNCLE WAS A WILD RIDE. 1832 01:11:45,034 --> 01:11:47,303 I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY. 1833 01:11:49,873 --> 01:11:51,908 I MADE COFFEE. 1834 01:11:51,941 --> 01:11:55,379 ERNIE TOOK HIS WITH LOTS OF CREAM AND SUGAR. 1835 01:11:56,713 --> 01:11:57,747 OH. 1836 01:11:57,781 --> 01:12:00,617 WE'LL HAVE TO GET HIS THINGS OUT OF THE CLOSET. 1837 01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:02,586 YOU'LL HAVE TO HELP ME. 1838 01:12:02,619 --> 01:12:05,789 HE WAS KIND OF A PACK RAT, BUT WE'LL MAKE ROOM. 1839 01:12:05,822 --> 01:12:07,023 MAKE ROOM FOR WHAT? 1840 01:12:07,056 --> 01:12:08,792 YOUR CLOTHES. 1841 01:12:08,825 --> 01:12:10,660 BUT DON'T WORRY. 1842 01:12:10,694 --> 01:12:14,398 WE DON'T HAVE TO MOVE EVERYTHING IN AT ONCE. 1843 01:12:14,431 --> 01:12:15,665 OH AND UH... 1844 01:12:15,699 --> 01:12:17,467 YOU'RE ON MY SIDE OF THE BED. 1845 01:12:17,501 --> 01:12:20,537 BUT, UH, EVERYTHING'S NEGOTIABLE. 1846 01:12:20,570 --> 01:12:23,106 WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT OVER BREAKFAST. 1847 01:12:23,139 --> 01:12:26,776 GUESS WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST. 1848 01:12:26,810 --> 01:12:29,112 [CHUCKLES] 1849 01:12:29,145 --> 01:12:30,046 STOP. 1850 01:12:30,079 --> 01:12:31,114 OH OOH. 1851 01:12:33,750 --> 01:12:34,751 BABY. 1852 01:12:36,420 --> 01:12:38,588 I GOTTA- I GOTTA GO HOME. 1853 01:12:38,622 --> 01:12:41,525 SHANE YOU ARE HOME. 1854 01:12:41,558 --> 01:12:44,728 LAST NIGHT- -LAST NIGHT WAS A MISTAKE. 1855 01:12:44,761 --> 01:12:45,762 WHAT? 1856 01:12:45,795 --> 01:12:46,896 SHANE. 1857 01:12:46,930 --> 01:12:49,165 WE WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT TEAM. 1858 01:12:49,198 --> 01:12:51,968 AND EVERY NIGHT WILL JUST BE LIKE LAST NIGHT. 1859 01:12:52,001 --> 01:12:53,603 OK? 1860 01:12:53,637 --> 01:12:54,938 WE'LL BE SO GREAT TOGETHER. 1861 01:12:54,971 --> 01:12:56,840 YEAH, BUT WE'RE NOT TOGETHER. 1862 01:12:56,873 --> 01:12:59,743 WE'RE NEVER GOING TO BE TOGETHER. 1863 01:12:59,776 --> 01:13:01,044 I'M SORRY. 1864 01:13:01,077 --> 01:13:02,646 WHAT? 1865 01:13:02,679 --> 01:13:04,881 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. I GOTTA GO. 1866 01:13:04,914 --> 01:13:06,916 SHANE. 1867 01:13:06,950 --> 01:13:09,486 SHANE! 1868 01:13:09,519 --> 01:13:12,756 GET BACK IN THIS BED! 1869 01:13:12,789 --> 01:13:14,924 YOU'RE NOT FUCKING LEAVING. 1870 01:13:26,770 --> 01:13:28,472 FUCK. 1871 01:13:29,806 --> 01:13:32,742 I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW. 1872 01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:38,482 [PHONE RINGING] 1873 01:13:42,552 --> 01:13:43,587 HEALTH AND SAFETY. 1874 01:13:43,620 --> 01:13:44,788 DICKY. 1875 01:13:44,821 --> 01:13:46,556 IT'S MOMMY. 1876 01:13:46,590 --> 01:13:47,691 I NEED A FAVOR. 1877 01:13:47,724 --> 01:13:48,858 IT'S ABOUT THE CLUB. 1878 01:13:48,892 --> 01:13:52,195 WHATEVER YOU NEED, I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT, ALRIGHT? 1879 01:13:52,228 --> 01:13:58,167 * 1880 01:13:58,201 --> 01:13:59,803 WOAH WOAH, JEEZ. 1881 01:13:59,836 --> 01:14:01,137 HOW 'BOUT AN I.D.? 1882 01:14:01,170 --> 01:14:02,739 HERE'S MY I.D. 1883 01:14:02,772 --> 01:14:05,008 NOW THE GET FUCK OUT OF MY WAY. 1884 01:14:05,041 --> 01:14:06,843 LET'S SAY I DON'T. 1885 01:14:06,876 --> 01:14:08,111 SMACK THAT BITCH. 1886 01:14:08,144 --> 01:14:11,915 TOUCH ME AND YOU'LL BE EATING YOUR LUNCH IN LOCK UP, GIGANTOR. 1887 01:14:11,948 --> 01:14:13,082 IT SUCKS, PAULIE, I'M SORRY. 1888 01:14:13,116 --> 01:14:14,484 I'M JUST DOING MY JOB. 1889 01:14:14,518 --> 01:14:16,720 YEAH, FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING, HUH? 1890 01:14:20,890 --> 01:14:22,859 SERIOUSLY? 1891 01:14:22,892 --> 01:14:24,861 I'M SORRY. 1892 01:14:34,203 --> 01:14:35,572 [MUSIC STOPS] HEY! COME ON. 1893 01:14:35,605 --> 01:14:37,507 GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY. 1894 01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:41,277 ALRIGHT, TOOTS. 1895 01:14:41,310 --> 01:14:42,245 GET OF THE STAGE. 1896 01:14:42,278 --> 01:14:43,580 ATTENTION PLEASE. 1897 01:14:43,613 --> 01:14:45,148 LISTEN UP. 1898 01:14:45,181 --> 01:14:46,916 MY NAME IS RICHARD MITHERS. 1899 01:14:46,950 --> 01:14:48,585 DICK. [CHUCKLES] 1900 01:14:48,618 --> 01:14:51,287 I'M THE CITY HEALTH AND SAFETY INSPECTOR 1901 01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:54,023 AND AS PER THE NEW ORDER OF THE CITY COUNCIL, 1902 01:14:54,057 --> 01:14:55,925 ALL PUBLIC ADULT DANCING IS HEREBY 1903 01:14:55,959 --> 01:14:57,594 BANNED WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS. 1904 01:14:57,627 --> 01:14:58,461 WHAT? 1905 01:14:58,494 --> 01:14:59,896 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1906 01:14:59,929 --> 01:15:00,964 THIS PLACE IS A STRIP CLUB! 1907 01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:02,231 EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. 1908 01:15:02,265 --> 01:15:03,432 EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME. 1909 01:15:03,466 --> 01:15:05,769 MAYOR MCCHEESE, COULD YOU KINDLY GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE? 1910 01:15:05,802 --> 01:15:06,670 [CLAPPING] 1911 01:15:06,703 --> 01:15:07,871 YEAH. 1912 01:15:07,904 --> 01:15:09,072 NO, I CAN'T. 1913 01:15:09,105 --> 01:15:10,106 THE SHOW'S OVER. 1914 01:15:10,139 --> 01:15:11,174 SAYS WHO? 1915 01:15:11,207 --> 01:15:12,909 SAYS ME AND THE CITY COUNCIL. 1916 01:15:12,942 --> 01:15:14,944 AND THE NEW ZONING ORDINANCE 22. 1917 01:15:14,978 --> 01:15:16,880 SECTION 3. 1918 01:15:16,913 --> 01:15:18,214 I CAN READ IT FOR YOU IF YOU LIKE. 1919 01:15:18,247 --> 01:15:19,683 WELL, I'M SHOCKED. 1920 01:15:19,716 --> 01:15:21,184 I AM TOO. NOBODY CONTACTED US. 1921 01:15:21,217 --> 01:15:23,219 NO, I'M SHOCKED THAT A CITY OFFICIAL CAN READ. 1922 01:15:23,252 --> 01:15:24,921 OH, YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY. 1923 01:15:24,954 --> 01:15:26,556 NO, I THINK THIS IS VERY SAD. 1924 01:15:26,590 --> 01:15:28,057 I MEAN, YOU SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN, THERE GOES YOUR 1925 01:15:28,091 --> 01:15:30,259 LAST CHANCE ON EARTH TO SEE A WOMAN NAKED. 1926 01:15:30,293 --> 01:15:31,094 THIS IS CRAP. 1927 01:15:31,127 --> 01:15:32,328 YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR FROM OUR LAWYER. 1928 01:15:32,361 --> 01:15:34,230 WE HAVE A LAWYER? 1929 01:15:34,263 --> 01:15:35,231 I ASSUMED WE DID. 1930 01:15:35,264 --> 01:15:37,066 NO... -OH, SHIT. 1931 01:15:37,100 --> 01:15:38,668 THE ORDINANCE STANDS. 1932 01:15:38,702 --> 01:15:41,638 IF VIOLATED, YOU'LL BE TALKING TO THE POLICE. 1933 01:15:41,671 --> 01:15:42,505 OH, THAT'D BE DANDY. 1934 01:15:42,538 --> 01:15:43,773 I LOVE OUR POLICE OUR BOYS IN BLUE. 1935 01:15:43,807 --> 01:15:47,143 THAT REMINDS ME SARGE, I GOTTA GET YOU BACK YOUR HANDCUFF KEYS. 1936 01:15:47,176 --> 01:15:48,678 OH ONE MORE THING. 1937 01:15:48,712 --> 01:15:51,214 YOUR CITY TAXES ARE TWO YEARS PAST DUE. 1938 01:15:51,247 --> 01:15:53,750 PAY THEM IN FULL BY FRIDAY AT 5PM... 1939 01:15:53,783 --> 01:15:57,186 OR THE CITY WILL SIEZE THE PROPERTY. 1940 01:15:57,220 --> 01:15:59,623 HAVE A NICE DAY, HOROWITZ. 1941 01:16:00,824 --> 01:16:03,359 TWO YEARS? TWO YEARS? 1942 01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:04,293 YEAH. 1943 01:16:04,327 --> 01:16:06,262 I'M SORRY. 1944 01:16:06,295 --> 01:16:07,831 [SIGHS] 1945 01:16:07,864 --> 01:16:10,867 WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. 1946 01:16:13,770 --> 01:16:15,038 FUCK. 1947 01:16:15,071 --> 01:16:16,973 ALRIGHT, LADIES, STAGE IS CLOSED. 1948 01:16:17,006 --> 01:16:17,974 [EVERYONE GROANING] 1949 01:16:18,007 --> 01:16:19,008 WHAT? 1950 01:16:19,042 --> 01:16:20,243 COME ON. 1951 01:16:20,276 --> 01:16:23,279 [TONE] 1952 01:16:23,312 --> 01:16:27,684 * 1953 01:16:27,717 --> 01:16:30,687 NOW THAT THE CLUB IS CLOSING DOWN, I'M HOPEFUL THAT THE 1954 01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:33,923 CHINESE BUFFET WILL COME BACK, SO... 1955 01:16:33,957 --> 01:16:35,091 I'LL STILL BE HERE. 1956 01:16:37,994 --> 01:16:42,131 [TOMMY] SO CHLOE, NOW THAT WE'RE SHUT DOWN, WHAT'S YOUR DREAM JOB? 1957 01:16:42,165 --> 01:16:45,735 I WOULD LIKE TO GO INTO BIOLOGY, 1958 01:16:45,769 --> 01:16:48,304 PERHAPS STUDYING PHOTOSYNTHESIS. 1959 01:16:48,337 --> 01:16:51,140 REALLY? -YES. 1960 01:16:51,174 --> 01:16:53,276 DO YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT SCIENCE? 1961 01:16:53,309 --> 01:16:57,313 I MEAN I LOVE THE SUN AND I LOVE WATER. 1962 01:17:03,252 --> 01:17:05,388 YOU CAN STILL SMELL THE SOY SAUCE. 1963 01:17:06,723 --> 01:17:08,024 THAT'S NOT SOY SAUCE. 1964 01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:16,099 * 1965 01:17:30,179 --> 01:17:31,314 HEY. 1966 01:17:31,347 --> 01:17:32,849 HI. 1967 01:17:32,882 --> 01:17:33,850 UH... 1968 01:17:33,883 --> 01:17:36,953 I JUST CAME BY TO GET THE REST OF MY STUFF. 1969 01:17:36,986 --> 01:17:39,789 SORRY ABOUT THE CITY THING. 1970 01:17:39,823 --> 01:17:42,926 HARRY TOLD ME ON HIS WAY OUT. 1971 01:17:42,959 --> 01:17:44,060 BAD DAY. 1972 01:17:44,093 --> 01:17:45,094 YEAH. 1973 01:17:45,128 --> 01:17:46,930 HOW ARE YOU? 1974 01:17:46,963 --> 01:17:48,698 GOOD. 1975 01:17:48,732 --> 01:17:50,166 BUSY. 1976 01:17:50,199 --> 01:17:52,836 GOING BACK TO SCHOOL FULL TIME NEXT SEMESTER. 1977 01:17:52,869 --> 01:17:56,940 FULL TIME, LIKE, NO JOB? 1978 01:17:56,973 --> 01:17:59,008 YEAH. I'VE BEEN SAVING. 1979 01:17:59,042 --> 01:18:01,277 I THINK I'LL JUST MAKE IT. 1980 01:18:01,310 --> 01:18:02,946 YOU? 1981 01:18:02,979 --> 01:18:05,114 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? 1982 01:18:05,148 --> 01:18:06,916 I'M GOING TO GET DRUNK. 1983 01:18:06,950 --> 01:18:09,152 VERY, VERY DRUNK. 1984 01:18:09,185 --> 01:18:11,855 AND THEN I'M GONNA FIGURE OUT HOW TO RAISE $5,000 1985 01:18:11,888 --> 01:18:13,957 BY FRIDAY AT 5. 1986 01:18:13,990 --> 01:18:16,292 WITHOUT ANY DANCERS. 1987 01:18:16,325 --> 01:18:19,295 I KNOW EVERYBODY MISSES YA... 1988 01:18:19,328 --> 01:18:20,363 [CLEARS THROAT] 1989 01:18:20,396 --> 01:18:22,832 I MISS YOU. 1990 01:18:25,234 --> 01:18:27,170 I GOTTA GO. 1991 01:18:27,203 --> 01:18:28,972 GOOD LUCK. 1992 01:18:29,005 --> 01:18:30,306 THANKS. 1993 01:18:39,182 --> 01:18:44,320 * 1994 01:19:02,271 --> 01:19:05,374 [LAYLA] AWW, YOU GUYS LOOK SO SAD. 1995 01:19:05,408 --> 01:19:08,111 SHANE, HAVE YOU MET HANNA? 1996 01:19:08,144 --> 01:19:10,780 I DON'T THINK WE'VE BEEN OFFICIALLY INTRODUCED. 1997 01:19:10,814 --> 01:19:12,481 I WOULD STAND UP BUT I CAN'T. 1998 01:19:12,515 --> 01:19:14,851 [LAUGHING] 1999 01:19:14,884 --> 01:19:15,952 KEKAW! 2000 01:19:15,985 --> 01:19:17,386 KEKAW! KEKAW! 2001 01:19:17,420 --> 01:19:19,856 SHE JUST MOVED HERE FROM SAN FRANCISCO. 2002 01:19:19,889 --> 01:19:21,557 SHE WANTS TO DANCE FOR YOU. 2003 01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:22,725 MM, WELL I WOULD LOVE THAT. 2004 01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:26,830 BUT AS YOU KNOW OUR STAGE HAS BEEN CLOSED BY THE MAN. 2005 01:19:26,863 --> 01:19:28,431 FUCK THE MAN. 2006 01:19:28,464 --> 01:19:30,433 AT MY OLD CLUB WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A STAGE. 2007 01:19:30,466 --> 01:19:33,436 -REALLY? WE JUST GAVE PRIVATE DANCES. 2008 01:19:33,469 --> 01:19:36,105 I THOUGHT I COULD SHOW YOU. 2009 01:19:37,974 --> 01:19:39,142 LAYLA. 2010 01:19:39,175 --> 01:19:40,844 HOP ON THE STALLION. 2011 01:19:40,877 --> 01:19:43,079 [LAUGHING] 2012 01:19:45,248 --> 01:19:46,883 ARE YOU HAVING FUN YET, MAN? 2013 01:19:46,916 --> 01:19:49,252 FUN IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. 2014 01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:50,519 OH MY GOD. 2015 01:19:50,553 --> 01:19:52,555 THIS SHOULD BE A RIDE AT DISNEY LAND. 2016 01:19:52,588 --> 01:19:54,858 THIS SHOULD BE A FUCKING OLYMPIC SPORT. 2017 01:19:54,891 --> 01:19:56,926 [GIGGLING] 2018 01:19:56,960 --> 01:19:57,861 WOO! 2019 01:19:57,894 --> 01:19:59,095 NO, HANNA, NO. 2020 01:19:59,128 --> 01:20:01,931 YES. 2021 01:20:01,965 --> 01:20:03,099 OH GOD. 2022 01:20:03,132 --> 01:20:05,001 HANNA, YOU GOTTA STOP, YOU GOTTA STOP, YOU GOTTA STOP. 2023 01:20:05,034 --> 01:20:08,604 DUDE, WITH DANCERS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS A STAGE? 2024 01:20:08,637 --> 01:20:10,406 [LAUGHING] 2025 01:20:12,208 --> 01:20:13,009 HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT. 2026 01:20:13,042 --> 01:20:14,310 WAIT, FUCK! 2027 01:20:14,343 --> 01:20:16,846 WITH DANCERS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS A STAGE? 2028 01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:17,914 WOO! 2029 01:20:17,947 --> 01:20:20,483 YOU SICK, BEAUTIFUL, EVIL GENIUS. 2030 01:20:20,516 --> 01:20:22,151 WHO NEEDS A STAGE? 2031 01:20:22,185 --> 01:20:24,320 WITH DANCERS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS A STAGE? 2032 01:20:24,353 --> 01:20:26,222 DON'T YOUG FUCKING GET IT? 2033 01:20:26,255 --> 01:20:28,591 I DON'T UNDERSTAND BUT I'M STILL REALLY HAPPY. 2034 01:20:33,963 --> 01:20:36,966 THE NEW LAW SAYS NO PUBLIC DANCING. 2035 01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,935 SO WE'RE GONNA DO PRIVATE DANCING. 2036 01:20:38,968 --> 01:20:42,872 YES. WE'RE GONNA CALL IT A LAP DANCE. 2037 01:20:42,906 --> 01:20:43,873 ALRIGHT? 2038 01:20:43,907 --> 01:20:45,441 IT'S PERFORMED ONE-ON-ONE FOR THE INDIVIDUAL 2039 01:20:45,474 --> 01:20:47,043 ENTERTAINMENT OF THE CUSTOMER, 2040 01:20:47,076 --> 01:20:48,945 EITHER AT A TABLE, OR IN A BOOTH, 2041 01:20:48,978 --> 01:20:50,980 OR IN A PRIVATE SEATING AREA. 2042 01:20:51,014 --> 01:20:53,883 AND I'VE WRITTEN UP SOME RULES AND PRACTICES THAT EVERYONE 2043 01:20:53,917 --> 01:20:56,519 WILL FOLLOW WHEN PERFORMING A LAP DANCE. 2044 01:20:56,552 --> 01:20:58,221 AND THE CARDINAL RULE IS REALLY QUITE SIMPLE. 2045 01:20:58,254 --> 01:20:59,222 HEY! 2046 01:20:59,255 --> 01:21:00,389 OW. DAD. 2047 01:21:00,423 --> 01:21:01,657 DON'T CALL ME DAD. DON'T CALL ME DAD. 2048 01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:04,027 CALL ME HARRY. CALL ME HARRY. 2049 01:21:04,060 --> 01:21:05,494 GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT. 2050 01:21:05,528 --> 01:21:08,297 I'M GOING TO DISPLAY FOR YOU GUYS HOW THIS WORKS. 2051 01:21:08,331 --> 01:21:11,034 CHLOE COME HERE, CHLOE, COME HERE, COME HERE. 2052 01:21:11,067 --> 01:21:14,938 THERE IS APPROPRIATE AND INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING, ALRIGHT? 2053 01:21:14,971 --> 01:21:18,908 NOW, THIS IS APPROPRIATE TOUCHING. 2054 01:21:18,942 --> 01:21:21,377 THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING. 2055 01:21:21,410 --> 01:21:22,411 OK? 2056 01:21:22,445 --> 01:21:24,047 APPROPRIATE. 2057 01:21:24,080 --> 01:21:25,982 INAPPROPRIATE. 2058 01:21:26,015 --> 01:21:27,316 OK? LADIES, YOU KNOW WHICH IS THIS? 2059 01:21:27,350 --> 01:21:28,551 WHICH IS THIS? 2060 01:21:28,584 --> 01:21:29,552 APPROPRIATE. 2061 01:21:29,585 --> 01:21:30,987 YES, APPROPRIATE. 2062 01:21:31,020 --> 01:21:32,588 AND? 2063 01:21:32,621 --> 01:21:34,157 I'M CONFUSED. 2064 01:21:34,190 --> 01:21:35,691 IT'S OK. WE'LL DO THIS AS MUCH AS WE HAVE TO 2065 01:21:35,724 --> 01:21:37,493 'TIL EVERYONE GETS IT, OK? 2066 01:21:37,526 --> 01:21:39,295 THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE. 2067 01:21:39,328 --> 01:21:41,130 WHAT I'M DOING NOW IS INAPPROPRIATE. 2068 01:21:41,164 --> 01:21:43,132 HARRY, I THINK- -THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE. 2069 01:21:43,166 --> 01:21:44,333 I THINK THEY GET THE POINT. 2070 01:21:44,367 --> 01:21:45,668 WELL, I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'RE ALL CLEAR ON THIS. 2071 01:21:45,701 --> 01:21:46,669 OK, EVERYONE GETS THIS. 2072 01:21:46,702 --> 01:21:48,437 THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE. 2073 01:21:48,471 --> 01:21:50,239 RIGHT. -RIGHT? 2074 01:21:50,273 --> 01:21:51,307 OK. 2075 01:21:51,340 --> 01:21:53,476 AND THIS. AND THIS. 2076 01:21:53,509 --> 01:21:54,710 OK, I THINK EVERYBODY GETS IT. 2077 01:21:54,743 --> 01:21:57,280 WE HAVE THREE DAYS TO RAISE THE MONEY WE NEED 2078 01:21:57,313 --> 01:21:59,215 TO PAY BACK THE CITY WHAT WE OWE. 2079 01:21:59,248 --> 01:22:02,118 OUR FUTURE IS IN YOUR G-STRING, LADIES. 2080 01:22:02,151 --> 01:22:03,119 SO LET'S DANCE! 2081 01:22:03,152 --> 01:22:04,587 YEAH! 2082 01:22:04,620 --> 01:22:07,256 [CLAPPING] 2083 01:22:08,191 --> 01:22:09,392 LET'S JUST GO THROUGH THIS ONE MORE TIME THOUGH 2084 01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:10,359 BEFORE WE GET OUT THERE. 2085 01:22:10,393 --> 01:22:11,961 INAPPROPRIATE. 2086 01:22:11,995 --> 01:22:17,133 * 2087 01:22:23,406 --> 01:22:25,441 CHLOE IS KILLING IT RIGHT NOW. 2088 01:22:27,443 --> 01:22:33,382 * 2089 01:22:50,266 --> 01:22:51,400 THREE DOLLARS? 2090 01:22:51,434 --> 01:22:52,435 REALLY? 2091 01:22:52,468 --> 01:22:54,537 ALRIGHT. 2092 01:22:54,570 --> 01:22:56,472 ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? COME ON, GIVE ME THE REST. 2093 01:22:56,505 --> 01:22:58,774 I WAS GOING TO MAKE A LOT MORE AT THE DOG TRACK, 2094 01:22:58,807 --> 01:23:00,376 BUT GO 'HEAD. TAKE IT. 2095 01:23:01,477 --> 01:23:09,252 * 2096 01:23:09,285 --> 01:23:11,554 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, MAN. 2097 01:23:11,587 --> 01:23:13,522 I THINK WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT. 2098 01:23:13,556 --> 01:23:18,261 * 2099 01:23:34,477 --> 01:23:35,744 [TOMMY] TWENTY-EIGHT HOURS TO GO, MAN. 2100 01:23:35,778 --> 01:23:36,712 WE GONNA MAKE IT? 2101 01:23:36,745 --> 01:23:37,446 [SHANE] YEAH, WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT, DUDE. 2102 01:23:37,480 --> 01:23:38,347 WE'RE GONNA HAVE CASH TO SPARE. 2103 01:23:38,381 --> 01:23:39,615 GOOD, BECAUSE I'M RUNNING LOW ON SPE- 2104 01:23:39,648 --> 01:23:42,485 [SHANE] WOAH, WHAT THE HELL IS CHLOE DOING OUTSIDE THE CLUB? 2105 01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:44,053 [TOMMY] ANDWHY DOES SHE HAVE CLOTHES ON? 2106 01:23:44,087 --> 01:23:46,322 WAIT, DID THE SHORT BUS BREAK DOWN? 2107 01:23:48,657 --> 01:23:50,159 SHANE! 2108 01:23:50,193 --> 01:23:50,893 OH THANK GOD. 2109 01:23:50,926 --> 01:23:52,595 I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T MISS YOU. 2110 01:23:52,628 --> 01:23:53,762 MISS ME? 2111 01:23:53,796 --> 01:23:56,165 I COULDN'T LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOOD BYE. 2112 01:23:56,199 --> 01:23:57,500 GOOD BYE? WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 2113 01:23:57,533 --> 01:23:59,102 AROUND THE WORLD, BABY. 2114 01:23:59,135 --> 01:24:00,369 YEAH. 2115 01:24:00,403 --> 01:24:01,637 THIS IS SNAKES. 2116 01:24:01,670 --> 01:24:04,107 WOO! 2117 01:24:04,140 --> 01:24:06,242 THEY JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL AND THEY'RE TAKING ME 2118 01:24:06,275 --> 01:24:07,543 ON TOUR WITH THEM. 2119 01:24:07,576 --> 01:24:09,812 I'M GOING TO BE THEIR OFFICIAL SNAKE GIRL. 2120 01:24:09,845 --> 01:24:10,713 THIS IS VINNY. 2121 01:24:10,746 --> 01:24:11,514 THIS IS WYATT. 2122 01:24:11,547 --> 01:24:13,482 AND THIS IS THE LEAD SINGER, TANK. 2123 01:24:13,516 --> 01:24:15,851 HOLY SHIT, YOU GUYS REALLY ARE SNAKES. 2124 01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:17,220 HOLD ON. 2125 01:24:17,253 --> 01:24:18,754 THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF HER, BROTHER. 2126 01:24:18,787 --> 01:24:20,489 WE THOUGHT WE LOST HER. 2127 01:24:20,523 --> 01:24:21,690 NO PROBLEM. 2128 01:24:21,724 --> 01:24:23,326 CHLOE, YOU CAN'T LEAVE. 2129 01:24:23,359 --> 01:24:25,194 I NEED YOU. 2130 01:24:25,228 --> 01:24:27,096 SHH. 2131 01:24:27,130 --> 01:24:29,798 I KNOW IT HURTS SHANE, BUT IN TIME YOU'LL GET OVER ME. 2132 01:24:29,832 --> 01:24:31,234 JUST BE STRONG. 2133 01:24:31,267 --> 01:24:32,135 NO. 2134 01:24:32,168 --> 01:24:33,402 I- I- THE CLUB NEEDS YOU. 2135 01:24:33,436 --> 01:24:34,537 YOU'RE OUR BIGGEST EARNER. 2136 01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:37,106 I'M SORRY, I KIND OF HAVE MY CAREER TO THINK ABOUT. 2137 01:24:37,140 --> 01:24:38,274 WHAT CAREER? 2138 01:24:38,307 --> 01:24:40,809 THE BAND WANTS ME TO HANDLE THEIR SNAKES ON THE ROAD. 2139 01:24:40,843 --> 01:24:42,445 SHE'S A NATURAL. 2140 01:24:42,478 --> 01:24:45,614 EVERY NIGHT THEY LOWER ME DOWN ONTO THE STAGE AND 2141 01:24:45,648 --> 01:24:49,152 I AM WRAPPED IN A BIKINI OF LIVE PYTHONS. 2142 01:24:49,185 --> 01:24:50,253 FUCKING-A. 2143 01:24:50,286 --> 01:24:51,720 IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME. 2144 01:24:51,754 --> 01:24:52,688 SOUNDS AWESOME. 2145 01:24:52,721 --> 01:24:54,357 AND SUPER SAFE. 2146 01:24:54,390 --> 01:24:55,758 OH, DON'T WORRY, SHANE. 2147 01:24:55,791 --> 01:24:58,494 THEY FEED THEM THESE SUPER STRONG TRANQUILIZERS. 2148 01:24:58,527 --> 01:24:59,762 HAHA HELL YEAH. 2149 01:24:59,795 --> 01:25:02,665 THE SAME KIND WE EAT RIGHT BEFORE A SHOW. 2150 01:25:02,698 --> 01:25:03,866 YOU WANT SOME? 2151 01:25:03,899 --> 01:25:07,336 UH, NO THANKS I HAD SUPER STRONG TRANQUILIZERS FOR LUNCH. 2152 01:25:07,370 --> 01:25:09,805 I'LL TAKE ONE IF YOU DON'T MIND. 2153 01:25:11,707 --> 01:25:14,210 THANK YOU, SHANE. 2154 01:25:14,243 --> 01:25:17,313 YOU'RE ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET. 2155 01:25:17,346 --> 01:25:19,582 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE WITH YOU. 2156 01:25:19,615 --> 01:25:20,716 BE CAREFUL, CHLOE. 2157 01:25:20,749 --> 01:25:22,885 AND IF UH, YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING... 2158 01:25:22,918 --> 01:25:25,421 ACTUALLY THE COPS KEPT THE TOUR BUS. 2159 01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:28,591 AND WE NEED TO BE AT THE AIRPORT IN AN HOUR. 2160 01:25:29,925 --> 01:25:31,360 SAY CHEESE. 2161 01:25:31,394 --> 01:25:32,595 [SHUTTER CLICKING] 2162 01:25:32,628 --> 01:25:34,563 AH, MY EYES. 2163 01:25:39,402 --> 01:25:40,769 DEAD OR ALIVE. 2164 01:25:43,706 --> 01:25:45,174 ACTION. 2165 01:25:46,209 --> 01:25:47,476 ACTION. 2166 01:25:47,510 --> 01:25:48,444 STOP SAYING THAT. 2167 01:25:48,477 --> 01:25:49,678 ACTION. 2168 01:25:49,712 --> 01:25:50,813 WE HAVE LIKE NO TIME ON THE CLOCK, DUDE. 2169 01:25:50,846 --> 01:25:52,781 ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. 2170 01:25:52,815 --> 01:25:54,283 WE HAVE 17 HOURS. 2171 01:25:54,317 --> 01:25:56,252 IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL IT'S OVER. 2172 01:25:56,285 --> 01:25:57,853 AND DON'T FOLLOW ME WITH THAT CAMERA. 2173 01:25:57,886 --> 01:25:59,922 IT'S GOING TO BE A WILD RIDE. 2174 01:26:16,572 --> 01:26:18,407 WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE, MAN? 2175 01:26:18,441 --> 01:26:20,609 I COULDN'T TAKE HARRY SNORING. 2176 01:26:20,643 --> 01:26:21,810 [SIGHS] 2177 01:26:21,844 --> 01:26:23,746 HOW WE DOING? 2178 01:26:25,013 --> 01:26:26,515 WHERE WE AT? 2179 01:26:26,549 --> 01:26:28,417 STOP. 2180 01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:33,622 COME ON, TALK TO ME, MAN. 2181 01:26:40,496 --> 01:26:42,365 WE'RE SHORT. 2182 01:26:42,398 --> 01:26:43,632 NO WAY. NO WAY. 2183 01:26:43,666 --> 01:26:46,435 COUNT IT AGAIN. 2184 01:26:46,469 --> 01:26:47,570 COUNT IT AGAIN, MAN. 2185 01:26:47,603 --> 01:26:50,273 DUDE, I'VE COUNTED IT LIKE THREE FUCKING TIMES, MAN. 2186 01:26:50,306 --> 01:26:51,474 WE'RE SHORT. 2187 01:26:51,507 --> 01:26:53,542 GAME OVER. 2188 01:26:53,576 --> 01:26:55,944 [SIGHS] 2189 01:27:07,923 --> 01:27:09,692 HEY. 2190 01:27:09,725 --> 01:27:11,494 THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, T. 2191 01:27:11,527 --> 01:27:14,530 [SIGHS] 2192 01:27:14,563 --> 01:27:16,965 AT LEAST WE WENT DOWN SWINGING. 2193 01:27:17,900 --> 01:27:19,968 [CHRISTINA] WHAT'S THE COUNT? 2194 01:27:26,942 --> 01:27:30,479 HI. -HI. 2195 01:27:35,751 --> 01:27:37,753 WHAT'S THIS? 2196 01:27:37,786 --> 01:27:40,556 1,214 DOLLARS. 2197 01:27:40,589 --> 01:27:42,791 MY STUDENT LOAN MONEY. 2198 01:27:44,059 --> 01:27:45,594 YES. 2199 01:27:45,628 --> 01:27:47,596 THAT PUTS US OVER. 2200 01:27:47,630 --> 01:27:48,497 NO IT DOESN'T. 2201 01:27:48,531 --> 01:27:49,532 I CAN'T TAKE THIS. 2202 01:27:49,565 --> 01:27:50,633 YES, YOU CAN. 2203 01:27:51,700 --> 01:27:53,469 NO, I CAN'T. 2204 01:27:53,502 --> 01:27:55,404 YOU NEED THIS FOR SCHOOL. 2205 01:27:55,438 --> 01:27:57,406 I KNOW. IT'S A LOAN. 2206 01:27:57,440 --> 01:27:59,475 I CAN ALWAYS GO BACK TO SCHOOL NEXT SEMESTER. 2207 01:27:59,508 --> 01:28:02,478 JUST TAKE IT. 2208 01:28:02,511 --> 01:28:05,814 BUT, I WILL BE NEEDING A JOB. 2209 01:28:06,749 --> 01:28:08,984 JUST SO HAPPENS I'M HIRING. 2210 01:28:09,017 --> 01:28:10,719 AND A RAISE. 2211 01:28:10,753 --> 01:28:12,355 MM... 2212 01:28:12,388 --> 01:28:13,989 OK. 2213 01:28:14,022 --> 01:28:16,892 BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE GOING TO START RIGHT NOW. 2214 01:28:16,925 --> 01:28:18,627 SURE. 2215 01:28:18,661 --> 01:28:22,631 GO UPSTAIRS, MAKE SURE HARRY ISN'T DEAD, AND CALL EVERYBODY. 2216 01:28:22,665 --> 01:28:23,766 WE'RE CELEBRATING. 2217 01:28:23,799 --> 01:28:24,633 YES! 2218 01:28:24,667 --> 01:28:26,335 BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY. 2219 01:28:26,369 --> 01:28:27,503 [LAUGHING] 2220 01:28:27,536 --> 01:28:29,838 OH, HEY CHRISTINA, ONE MORE THING. 2221 01:28:34,109 --> 01:28:37,112 THANKS. 2222 01:28:37,145 --> 01:28:40,916 AND, UM... 2223 01:28:40,949 --> 01:28:42,418 I'M SORRY. 2224 01:28:42,451 --> 01:28:44,387 I'M... 2225 01:28:44,420 --> 01:28:47,390 I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY. 2226 01:28:48,391 --> 01:28:50,793 YOU CAN MAKE IT UP TO ME. 2227 01:28:54,897 --> 01:28:56,632 YES, YES! 2228 01:28:56,665 --> 01:28:57,766 ALRIGHT. 2229 01:28:57,800 --> 01:28:59,768 WE GOTTA GET THIS MONEY LOCKED UP IN THE OFFICE, ASAP. 2230 01:28:59,802 --> 01:29:00,769 NO WAY, MAN. 2231 01:29:00,803 --> 01:29:02,738 I'VE BROKEN INTO THAT OFFICE LIKE TEN TIMES 2232 01:29:02,771 --> 01:29:03,972 WITH JUST A CREDIT CARD. 2233 01:29:04,006 --> 01:29:05,474 FOR WHAT? 2234 01:29:05,508 --> 01:29:06,942 EH... EMERGENCY... 2235 01:29:06,975 --> 01:29:07,943 STUFF LIKE THAT. 2236 01:29:07,976 --> 01:29:09,144 NO BIGGIE, MAN. 2237 01:29:09,177 --> 01:29:12,080 YOU KNOW, THERE IS A MEGA PADLOCK IN THAT STORAGE ROOM. 2238 01:29:12,114 --> 01:29:13,782 YEAH, BUT YOU FORGET THE COMBINATION ALL THE TIME. 2239 01:29:13,816 --> 01:29:15,718 WHEN HAVE I EVER FORGOTTEN THE COMBINATION? 2240 01:29:15,751 --> 01:29:16,752 LAST WEEK. 2241 01:29:16,785 --> 01:29:18,153 WHATEVER. 2242 01:29:18,186 --> 01:29:19,855 YOU KNOW WHAT, SECURITY NOW. 2243 01:29:19,888 --> 01:29:21,089 DEPRAVITY LATER. 2244 01:29:21,123 --> 01:29:22,925 SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN. 2245 01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:25,694 WHAT'S THE COMBINATION? 2246 01:29:25,728 --> 01:29:26,629 JUST ONE MORE TIME. 2247 01:29:26,662 --> 01:29:27,530 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? 2248 01:29:27,563 --> 01:29:28,831 I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 2249 01:29:28,864 --> 01:29:30,566 WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS EVERYBODY! 2250 01:29:30,599 --> 01:29:32,935 YES. YES. 2251 01:29:32,968 --> 01:29:38,607 * 2252 01:29:38,641 --> 01:29:39,174 HEY. 2253 01:29:39,207 --> 01:29:41,410 -HI. 2254 01:29:49,918 --> 01:29:50,886 OHH! 2255 01:29:50,919 --> 01:29:51,920 HEY. 2256 01:29:51,954 --> 01:29:53,622 HIYA. 2257 01:29:53,656 --> 01:29:54,990 UH... 2258 01:29:55,023 --> 01:29:57,960 SO YEAH, THE PARTY'S JUST RIGHT IN THE OTHER ROOM. 2259 01:29:57,993 --> 01:30:03,599 WELL, I WAS THINKING OF, UH, HAVING A BIT OF A PRIVATE PARTY. 2260 01:30:03,632 --> 01:30:05,033 THOSE CAN BE FUN, TOO. 2261 01:30:05,067 --> 01:30:06,101 YEAH. 2262 01:30:06,134 --> 01:30:07,536 I KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT MORE FUN. 2263 01:30:07,570 --> 01:30:08,671 OH YEAH? 2264 01:30:08,704 --> 01:30:12,140 OPEN WIDE. -MM. 2265 01:30:12,174 --> 01:30:13,175 WHERE SHOULD WE GO? 2266 01:30:13,208 --> 01:30:14,443 HOW 'BOUT IN THERE? 2267 01:30:14,477 --> 01:30:15,243 OH, CAN'T. 2268 01:30:15,277 --> 01:30:17,846 GOTTA KEEP IT SECURE, YOU KNOW? 2269 01:30:17,880 --> 01:30:19,882 NODBODY'S SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE MONEY IS IN THERE. 2270 01:30:19,915 --> 01:30:20,949 OH SHIT. 2271 01:30:20,983 --> 01:30:23,051 UM, YOU KNOW, WE CAN JUST GO OUTSIDE TO THE VAN. 2272 01:30:23,085 --> 01:30:25,554 THAT WOULD BE FINE. 2273 01:30:25,588 --> 01:30:27,790 WELL, UH, WE COULD DO THAT. 2274 01:30:27,823 --> 01:30:30,726 OR WE COULD JUST SPREAD OUT ALL THAT 2275 01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:32,895 FILTHY, DIRTY MONEY, 2276 01:30:32,928 --> 01:30:35,464 AND JUST FUCK ON TOP OF IT. 2277 01:30:35,498 --> 01:30:37,065 ALSO A GOOD PLAN. 2278 01:30:37,099 --> 01:30:39,134 [GIGGLING] 2279 01:30:44,707 --> 01:30:46,742 I HAVE TO WARN YOU THOUGH. I'M A TERRIBLE DANCER. 2280 01:30:48,176 --> 01:30:50,012 YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU ARE. 2281 01:30:51,246 --> 01:30:53,849 UH UH UH. 2282 01:30:55,551 --> 01:30:56,519 OH. 2283 01:30:56,552 --> 01:30:58,120 JESUS. 2284 01:30:58,153 --> 01:31:01,123 WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GIVE ME BACK THERE? 2285 01:31:01,156 --> 01:31:03,726 MY SPECIAL SEXY TIME MIX. 2286 01:31:03,759 --> 01:31:06,695 OH. OH. 2287 01:31:09,131 --> 01:31:11,466 OOH. 2288 01:31:11,700 --> 01:31:14,503 [GASPING] 2289 01:31:15,203 --> 01:31:16,705 OH. 2290 01:31:17,940 --> 01:31:18,941 OOH. 2291 01:31:18,974 --> 01:31:21,209 THAT'S RIGHT. 2292 01:31:21,243 --> 01:31:22,978 WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU TOO? 2293 01:31:24,847 --> 01:31:32,621 * 2294 01:31:35,691 --> 01:31:37,960 SHANE. OFFICE NOW. 2295 01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:39,795 I'M SORRY. I GOTTA GO. 2296 01:31:42,330 --> 01:31:45,267 * 2297 01:31:46,602 --> 01:31:48,236 OH, YEAH. 2298 01:31:52,841 --> 01:31:53,842 VERY NICE. 2299 01:31:53,876 --> 01:31:55,678 MMHMM. 2300 01:31:55,711 --> 01:31:57,780 DID MOMMY BRING BABY A PRESENT? 2301 01:31:57,813 --> 01:31:59,047 SHE DID. 2302 01:31:59,081 --> 01:32:01,283 BABY LIKES. 2303 01:32:01,316 --> 01:32:03,318 OH WHAT THE FUCK BOOTS? 2304 01:32:03,351 --> 01:32:04,687 [GASPS] 2305 01:32:04,720 --> 01:32:06,254 OH, HELL NO! 2306 01:32:06,288 --> 01:32:09,091 THIS IS SOME SERIOUS BULLSHIT THAT'S DEFINITELY 2307 01:32:09,124 --> 01:32:11,093 NOT HAPPENING ON MY WATCH. 2308 01:32:11,126 --> 01:32:12,327 WHO'S THIS IDIOT? 2309 01:32:12,360 --> 01:32:14,930 I'M THE GUY WHO'S GONNA STOP YOU FROM WALKING OUT OF HERE. 2310 01:32:14,963 --> 01:32:15,798 I'M DRIVING. 2311 01:32:15,831 --> 01:32:19,668 WHATEVER. YOU CAN CALL ME JIU JITSU. 2312 01:32:19,702 --> 01:32:22,137 YOU CAN CALL ME SMITH AND WESSON. 2313 01:32:22,170 --> 01:32:24,206 WHAT THE FUCK, DICKY? PUT THAT THING DOWN. 2314 01:32:24,239 --> 01:32:26,709 YOU KNOW DICKY, A MAN SHOULD NEVER PULL OUT A GUN 2315 01:32:26,742 --> 01:32:28,210 UNLESS HE'S READY TO USE IT. 2316 01:32:28,243 --> 01:32:29,111 I'M READY. 2317 01:32:29,144 --> 01:32:30,979 [WACK] [GASPS] 2318 01:32:31,013 --> 01:32:32,347 YOU ASSHOLE. 2319 01:32:32,380 --> 01:32:33,081 SHUT UP. 2320 01:32:33,115 --> 01:32:33,916 YOU SHUT UP. 2321 01:32:33,949 --> 01:32:35,050 ARE YOU CRAZY? 2322 01:32:35,083 --> 01:32:36,752 JUST GET IN THE FUCKING CAR. 2323 01:32:36,785 --> 01:32:38,621 I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU. 2324 01:32:38,654 --> 01:32:41,790 PUT THE MONEY IN THE CAR AND TAKE A FUCKING, BITCH. 2325 01:32:41,824 --> 01:32:44,026 FREEZE, MONKEY. 2326 01:32:44,059 --> 01:32:50,098 GET YOUR STINKIN' PAWS OFF OF HER, YOU DAMN DIRTY APE. 2327 01:32:52,868 --> 01:32:55,003 YOU EVER NOTICE HOW YOU SOMETIMES COME ACROSS A GUY 2328 01:32:55,037 --> 01:32:57,205 YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE FUCKED WITH? 2329 01:32:57,239 --> 01:32:58,641 WELL... 2330 01:32:58,674 --> 01:33:01,076 YOU'RE THAT GUY. 2331 01:33:02,678 --> 01:33:05,080 WHAT? 2332 01:33:05,113 --> 01:33:07,950 I MEAN, I'M THAT GUY. 2333 01:33:07,983 --> 01:33:08,917 THE GUY... 2334 01:33:08,951 --> 01:33:10,919 YOU KNOW... 2335 01:33:10,953 --> 01:33:12,821 YOU SHOULD FUCK WITH. 2336 01:33:14,823 --> 01:33:17,125 SHOULDN'T FUCK WITH. 2337 01:33:19,762 --> 01:33:21,930 JUST DROP THE ASSHOLE, GUN. 2338 01:33:21,964 --> 01:33:23,699 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 2339 01:33:23,732 --> 01:33:26,835 HE MEANS DROP THE GUN, ASSHOLE. 2340 01:33:26,869 --> 01:33:28,036 THANK YOU, MA'AM. 2341 01:33:28,070 --> 01:33:29,171 YOU'RE WELCOME. 2342 01:33:29,204 --> 01:33:30,906 WHAT THE PRETTY LADY SAID. 2343 01:33:33,408 --> 01:33:35,143 [CHUCKLES] 2344 01:33:35,177 --> 01:33:37,345 GOOD, DICKY. 2345 01:33:37,379 --> 01:33:40,716 I GOT A FULL METAL CHUBBY RIGHT NOW. 2346 01:33:41,684 --> 01:33:44,887 I'M A SPECIAL AGENT WITH THE CITY CORRUPTION TASK FORCE. 2347 01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:47,723 I'VE HAD MY EYE ON THIS TURD FOR AWHILE. 2348 01:33:47,756 --> 01:33:50,793 JUST MADE IT EASY FOR ME TO FLUSH YOU DOWN THE TOILET. 2349 01:33:50,826 --> 01:33:52,728 AND I'VE GOT THE FEELING YOU'RE THE KIND OF TURD THAT'S 2350 01:33:52,761 --> 01:33:55,197 GONNA LEAVE A STREAK GOING ALL THE WAY DOWN. 2351 01:33:55,230 --> 01:33:56,198 HUH, DICKY? 2352 01:33:56,231 --> 01:33:57,432 THIS AIN'T OVER, TONS OF FUN. 2353 01:33:57,465 --> 01:34:00,002 SHUT YOUR YAM HOLE. 2354 01:34:00,035 --> 01:34:02,337 ALRIGHT, FOLKS, SHOW'S OVER. 2355 01:34:02,370 --> 01:34:05,007 THE CLUB IS BACK IN BUSINESS. 2356 01:34:05,040 --> 01:34:06,074 [CHEERING] 2357 01:34:06,108 --> 01:34:06,975 THAT'S GREAT! 2358 01:34:08,777 --> 01:34:10,112 LET'S GO, YOU SHIT HEAD. 2359 01:34:10,145 --> 01:34:11,313 YOU TOO, NANCY. 2360 01:34:12,380 --> 01:34:15,083 EVERYBODY, LET'S HEAR IT FOR SHANE! 2361 01:34:15,117 --> 01:34:17,786 [ALL] YEAH! SHANE! 2362 01:34:17,820 --> 01:34:21,690 COME ON, BOSS MAN, GIVE 'EM SOME WORDS OF WISDOM. 2363 01:34:21,724 --> 01:34:23,992 I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM, 2364 01:34:24,026 --> 01:34:28,897 EXCEPT I WOULD NOT BE HERE WITHOUT ALL OF YOU. 2365 01:34:28,931 --> 01:34:29,798 SO THANK YOU. 2366 01:34:29,832 --> 01:34:32,300 [ALL] OHHH. CHEERS. 2367 01:34:32,334 --> 01:34:37,973 AND I THINK I KNOW WHAT MY UNCLE ERNIE WOULD HAVE SAID. 2368 01:34:38,006 --> 01:34:40,008 TOPS OFF AND BOTTOMS UP! 2369 01:34:40,042 --> 01:34:42,044 WOO! 2370 01:34:42,077 --> 01:34:45,013 * 2371 01:34:45,047 --> 01:34:47,783 WHO DO I HAVE TO GET A FUCK TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE? 2372 01:34:47,816 --> 01:34:49,217 UM, EXCUSE ME? 2373 01:34:49,251 --> 01:34:50,853 HELLO? EXCUSE ME. 2374 01:34:50,886 --> 01:34:52,955 UM... 2375 01:34:52,988 --> 01:34:55,123 HEY EVERYONE! 2376 01:34:55,157 --> 01:34:57,726 SORRY, UM... 2377 01:34:57,760 --> 01:35:00,428 WE ACTUALLY NEED A RIDE TO THE STATION. 2378 01:35:00,462 --> 01:35:03,431 [LAUGHING] 2379 01:35:06,902 --> 01:35:08,303 I MEAN WHERE COULD I END UP? 2380 01:35:08,336 --> 01:35:10,038 I MEAN THERE'S SO MANY PLACES IN THIS WORLD OF FILM 2381 01:35:10,072 --> 01:35:13,041 THAT UH, THAT I'M DRAWN TO, AND 2382 01:35:13,075 --> 01:35:16,178 I FEEL LIKE ARE PULLING ME IN, YOU KNOW? 2383 01:35:16,211 --> 01:35:17,946 AND UH... 2384 01:35:17,980 --> 01:35:22,350 ONE OF THEM IS UH, FUCK. 2385 01:35:22,384 --> 01:35:24,920 I'M SO FUCKING STONED RIGHT NOW. 2386 01:35:24,953 --> 01:35:26,188 [TOMMY LAUGHING] 2387 01:35:26,221 --> 01:35:27,756 I'M SORRY. 2388 01:35:27,790 --> 01:35:29,057 OK, WAIT. 2389 01:35:29,091 --> 01:35:30,192 I REMEMBER. I REMEMBER. 2390 01:35:30,225 --> 01:35:34,396 THE- THE- THE MEANING OF ALL OF THIS. 2391 01:35:34,429 --> 01:35:35,898 OF EVERYTHING WE DO. 2392 01:35:35,931 --> 01:35:37,332 LIKE THE ONE THING THAT IT ALL- 2393 01:35:37,365 --> 01:35:38,967 [THUD] OH FUCK. 2394 01:35:39,001 --> 01:35:39,868 [TOMMY] WOULD YOU SAY YOU FEEL YOU'RE LUCKY 2395 01:35:39,902 --> 01:35:42,170 TO HAVE MET A MAN LIKE ME, TOMMY "7"? 2396 01:35:42,204 --> 01:35:44,406 NO, I FEEL LIKE THE EXPERIENCE OF KNOWING YOU 2397 01:35:44,439 --> 01:35:48,276 HAS ACTUALLY DEPLETED ME OF OTHER EXPERIENCES. 2398 01:35:48,310 --> 01:35:52,280 * 2399 01:36:01,556 --> 01:36:02,858 SO. 2400 01:36:02,891 --> 01:36:04,126 SO? 2401 01:36:04,159 --> 01:36:05,393 WHERE WERE WE? 2402 01:36:05,427 --> 01:36:06,795 HMM. 2403 01:36:06,829 --> 01:36:08,430 I FORGET. 2404 01:36:08,463 --> 01:36:10,899 I THINK IT WAS HERE. 2405 01:36:18,206 --> 01:36:21,176 DID TOMMY REMEMBER TO LOCK UP THE STORE ROOM? 2406 01:36:21,209 --> 01:36:23,178 PROBABLY NOT. 2407 01:36:23,211 --> 01:36:25,280 LET'S GO CHECK. 2408 01:36:37,125 --> 01:36:40,195 IT'S TIME FOR VIDEO SPOTLIGHT. 2409 01:36:40,228 --> 01:36:43,999 MEGA METAL BAND SNAKES EMBARKS ON THEIR WORLD TOUR. 2410 01:36:44,032 --> 01:36:47,002 WE CAUGHT UP WITH THEM BACKSTAGE IN MOSCOW. 2411 01:36:47,035 --> 01:36:48,937 THE BIGGEST NEWS FOR THIS BAND IS THEIR OWN 2412 01:36:48,971 --> 01:36:50,572 CHARMING SNAKE CHARMER. 2413 01:36:50,605 --> 01:36:51,573 CHLOE. 2414 01:36:51,606 --> 01:36:52,674 I'VE JUST BEEN SO BUSY. 2415 01:36:52,707 --> 01:36:55,410 I'M IN THE STUDIO RIGHT NOW MAKING MY FIRST ALBUM 2416 01:36:55,443 --> 01:36:57,045 WITH TIMBUK 3. 2417 01:36:57,079 --> 01:37:01,249 AND THEN I'M GOING TO BE MAKING MY FIRST HOLLYWOOD DEBUT. 2418 01:37:01,283 --> 01:37:02,384 I'M SO EXCITED. 2419 01:37:02,417 --> 01:37:04,352 IT'S CALLED HOWARD THE DUCK. 2420 01:37:04,386 --> 01:37:06,955 I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE A HUGE YEAR FOR ME. 2421 01:37:06,989 --> 01:37:09,224 HOLLYWOOD, HERE I COME. 2422 01:37:09,257 --> 01:37:12,394 LOOKS LIKE HER FUTURE'S SO BRIGHT, SHE'S GOTTA WEAR SHADES. 2423 01:37:12,427 --> 01:37:14,396 SHE'S A GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL. 2424 01:37:14,429 --> 01:37:16,031 SHE WILL GO TO MY COUNTRY. 2425 01:37:16,064 --> 01:37:17,465 WE'LL GO TO THE CHURCH. 2426 01:37:17,499 --> 01:37:18,633 SHE'LL BE ONE OF MY WIVES- 2427 01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:20,268 NO, SHE'LL BE MY ONE WIFE, BECAUSE 2428 01:37:20,302 --> 01:37:21,369 YOU CAN HAVE ONLY ONE WIFE. 2429 01:37:21,403 --> 01:37:24,506 BUT I WILL GET DIVORCED AND SHE WILL BE MY NEW WIFE. 2430 01:37:24,539 --> 01:37:27,910 BUT YOU KNOW I ONLY GET MARRIED WITH VIRGINS. 2431 01:37:30,578 --> 01:37:31,546 WOOHOO! 2432 01:37:31,579 --> 01:37:32,948 YA'LL HAVING FUN, HUH? 2433 01:37:32,981 --> 01:37:33,949 LITTLE BIT OF THAT UP IN THERE. 2434 01:37:33,982 --> 01:37:35,383 YA'LL HAVING SOME FUN UP IN HERE RIGHT QUICK? 2435 01:37:35,417 --> 01:37:36,218 IS THAT WHAT I'M HEARING. 2436 01:37:36,251 --> 01:37:37,986 FIRE! 2437 01:37:38,020 --> 01:37:40,188 HUMAN NECESSITY IN IT'S SIMPLICITY. 2438 01:37:40,222 --> 01:37:41,656 YET COMPLEXITY. 2439 01:37:41,689 --> 01:37:43,191 DO YOU GUYS WANNA KISS FOR A LITTLE BIT. 2440 01:37:43,225 --> 01:37:43,858 JUST FOR A SECOND. 2441 01:37:43,892 --> 01:37:44,659 EW, YOU SAID IT WASN'T PORN. 2442 01:37:44,692 --> 01:37:46,294 NO, IT'S NOT. -SEE, I TOLD YOU. 2443 01:37:46,328 --> 01:37:48,630 I'M ALWAYS RIGHT. -NO, IT'S NOT PORN. 2444 01:37:48,663 --> 01:37:50,465 THIS IS ART BY THE WAY. 2445 01:37:50,498 --> 01:37:53,635 THIS IS LIKE ARTY- WE HAVE NOIR LIGHTING. 2446 01:37:53,668 --> 01:37:55,137 IS YOUR BONER ART TOO? 2447 01:37:55,170 --> 01:37:56,638 YEAH. IT IS ACTUALLY IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. 2448 01:37:56,671 --> 01:37:58,506 HE PROBABLY LIKE PAINTS IT. 2449 01:37:59,274 --> 01:38:00,242 BABY. 2450 01:38:00,275 --> 01:38:02,044 [LAUGHING] 2451 01:38:02,077 --> 01:38:03,245 SHANE. 2452 01:38:03,278 --> 01:38:04,679 WE'RE SOFT SERVE, BABY. 2453 01:38:04,712 --> 01:38:06,448 HAHA. 2454 01:38:08,016 --> 01:38:08,984 WHAT? 2455 01:38:09,017 --> 01:38:11,553 THERE'S L.S.D. IN OUR DRINKS. 2456 01:38:11,586 --> 01:38:14,422 TOLD YOU YOU WERE GOING TO LOVE THE SHOW. 2457 01:38:15,423 --> 01:38:18,160 LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE, 2458 01:38:18,193 --> 01:38:22,064 THE ONE, THE ONLY CAPTAIN LOU TENANT. 2459 01:38:22,097 --> 01:38:23,966 GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTS. 2460 01:38:23,999 --> 01:38:28,603 I'VE BEEN WITH THE SAME WOMAN FOR 39 WONDERFUL YEARS. 2461 01:38:28,636 --> 01:38:30,638 [CLAPPING] 2462 01:38:30,672 --> 01:38:33,508 AND IF MY WIFE FINDS OUT, SHE'LL KILL ME. 2463 01:38:33,541 --> 01:38:36,311 [LAUGHING] 2464 01:38:37,712 --> 01:38:39,581 [GARBLED WORDS] 2465 01:38:39,614 --> 01:38:41,183 OH, CHRIST. 2466 01:38:44,052 --> 01:38:45,687 [GASPS] 2467 01:38:48,390 --> 01:38:50,325 [LAUGHING] 2468 01:38:52,627 --> 01:38:55,497 * 2469 01:38:55,530 --> 01:38:57,299 AHH! 2470 01:38:57,332 --> 01:38:58,633 LIGHT MY FIRE. 2471 01:38:58,666 --> 01:39:00,702 IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO GET OUT OF THIS? 2472 01:39:00,735 --> 01:39:03,571 UH... 2473 01:39:03,605 --> 01:39:06,508 WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND? 2474 01:39:08,176 --> 01:39:09,244 UM... 2475 01:39:09,277 --> 01:39:11,513 [LAUGHING] 2476 01:39:12,214 --> 01:39:13,515 I'VE HEARD SOME OF THE GIRLS- 2477 01:39:13,548 --> 01:39:14,649 HMM? 2478 01:39:14,682 --> 01:39:15,717 I'VE HEARD SOME OF THE GIRLS 2479 01:39:15,750 --> 01:39:18,486 CALL YOU CREEPY AND STALKER. 2480 01:39:18,520 --> 01:39:20,388 NUH UH. 2481 01:39:21,356 --> 01:39:22,224 NO, I KNOW YOUR NAME. 2482 01:39:22,257 --> 01:39:23,291 I KNOW YOUR NAME. 2483 01:39:23,325 --> 01:39:25,127 IT'S UH... 2484 01:39:25,160 --> 01:39:27,229 LEATRIX. 2485 01:39:27,262 --> 01:39:28,363 NO? 2486 01:39:28,396 --> 01:39:29,464 PHILIPA. 2487 01:39:29,497 --> 01:39:30,498 IS IT PHILIPA? 2488 01:39:30,532 --> 01:39:31,699 NO. 2489 01:39:31,733 --> 01:39:34,669 ONE OF THE ASIANS IS PHILIPA, RIGHT? 2490 01:39:38,040 --> 01:39:41,543 [CHANCY] MY PET- MY KITTY CAT, HER NAME IS SASSAFRASS. 2491 01:39:44,412 --> 01:39:46,114 SHE HAS A PROBLEM, WHAT IS IT? 2492 01:39:46,148 --> 01:39:49,417 SHE'S ON DIALYSIS. 2493 01:39:49,451 --> 01:39:52,420 I LIKE TO GO TO THE STATE FAIR EVERY YEAR ON MY BIRTHDAY. 2494 01:39:52,454 --> 01:39:54,022 AND IT'S KIND OF A TRADITION. 2495 01:39:54,056 --> 01:39:55,057 IS THIS TOO FAST? 2496 01:39:55,090 --> 01:39:56,524 TOO SLOW? DO YOU WANT-? 2497 01:39:56,558 --> 01:39:57,492 NO, IT'S ALRIGHT. 2498 01:39:57,525 --> 01:39:59,694 OH OK GOOD. UM... 2499 01:39:59,727 --> 01:40:02,497 [LAUGHING] -CUT. 154289