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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,942 --> 00:00:17,642 Chucking yourself off, Vinnie? 2 00:00:17,742 --> 00:00:19,483 You don't want to jump off there. 3 00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:21,043 Not high enough. 4 00:00:21,143 --> 00:00:23,763 - You'll just bugger your legs up. - Yeah, all right. 5 00:00:23,863 --> 00:00:26,044 Thanks, Ralph. I'll bear that in mind, mate. 6 00:00:26,144 --> 00:00:28,484 A tower block, that's what you need. 7 00:00:28,584 --> 00:00:30,365 Or a fast-moving train. 8 00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:32,125 See you, son. 9 00:00:32,225 --> 00:00:33,405 Or not... 10 00:00:33,505 --> 00:00:36,246 - (Dog whines) - Come on, then. Come on. 11 00:00:36,346 --> 00:00:38,506 ♪ The best things in life are free 12 00:00:39,666 --> 00:00:41,927 ♪ But you can give them To the birds and bees 13 00:00:42,027 --> 00:00:43,327 ♪ I need money... ♪ 14 00:00:43,427 --> 00:00:45,807 VINNIE: Fuck the middle class. Fuck The Guardian. 15 00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:47,888 Fuck three holidays a year and drinking red wine 16 00:00:47,988 --> 00:00:49,648 and talking bollocks at dinner parties. 17 00:00:49,748 --> 00:00:51,088 So, fuck quinoa and "keen-oire". 18 00:00:51,188 --> 00:00:53,489 Fuck scented candles. You can fuck your people carriers 19 00:00:53,589 --> 00:00:56,449 and your posh kids called Tilly and Tarquin. 20 00:00:56,549 --> 00:00:58,610 Fuck moisturiser. Fuck vitamins. 21 00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:02,250 Fuck lacrosse and bloody tennis and 18 holes on a fucking Sunday. 22 00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:04,451 They call us "Blair's forgotten youth", 23 00:01:04,551 --> 00:01:07,291 kids that grew up in a town that offered nothing. 24 00:01:07,391 --> 00:01:09,371 No opportunities, no prospects, no hope. 25 00:01:09,471 --> 00:01:11,692 But what they'll never understand is this... 26 00:01:11,792 --> 00:01:14,132 We're not victims. We just have a different way of living. 27 00:01:14,232 --> 00:01:15,653 It's about having your mates, man. 28 00:01:15,753 --> 00:01:18,633 Having a laugh and just finding a way to survive. 29 00:01:19,873 --> 00:01:22,054 - Tell me it's not looking thinner. - You can't tell. 30 00:01:22,154 --> 00:01:24,254 No, you can't tell if you don't look properly, Dylan. 31 00:01:24,354 --> 00:01:26,294 - It's fine. - You see what I mean there? 32 00:01:26,394 --> 00:01:27,895 - You're not even looking. - I looked. 33 00:01:27,995 --> 00:01:29,335 - Didn't I look? - Yeah. 34 00:01:29,435 --> 00:01:31,335 You are bloody glancing at it. 35 00:01:31,435 --> 00:01:33,416 - What's less than a glance? - Peeking. 36 00:01:33,516 --> 00:01:36,056 - A glimpse. - A glimpse! You're glimpsing. 37 00:01:36,156 --> 00:01:38,697 Like, look properly. Check it out, see? 38 00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:40,417 You're a bit... 39 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,737 ..follically challenged. 40 00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:44,838 Fucking follically challenged? 41 00:01:51,519 --> 00:01:53,499 - Watch out! - Oh, shit! What was that? 42 00:01:53,599 --> 00:01:55,980 - It's a pheasant. - Where is it? 43 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,060 I don't know, it's wedged in the fucking grille. 44 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,460 That's not a pheasant, Dylan. That's a chicken. 45 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,661 Why would a chicken be roaming free? It's a pheasant. 46 00:02:02,761 --> 00:02:05,261 Why wouldn't a chicken be roaming? It's a chicken. 47 00:02:05,361 --> 00:02:07,422 - Look at the plumage. - Fuck the plumage! 48 00:02:07,522 --> 00:02:08,782 I cannot go bald! 49 00:02:08,882 --> 00:02:10,542 - They're gaining. - They're not gaining. 50 00:02:10,642 --> 00:02:12,642 I'll lose them through Jim's field. 51 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:19,084 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh 52 00:02:20,564 --> 00:02:22,564 ♪ That's what I want 53 00:02:23,764 --> 00:02:25,385 ♪ Give me money 54 00:02:25,485 --> 00:02:26,945 ♪ That's what I want 55 00:02:27,045 --> 00:02:28,225 ♪ Oh, lots of money 56 00:02:28,325 --> 00:02:29,985 ♪ That's what I want 57 00:02:30,085 --> 00:02:31,346 ♪ All of these greens 58 00:02:31,446 --> 00:02:33,226 ♪ Yeah 59 00:02:33,326 --> 00:02:35,326 ♪ That's what I want. ♪ 60 00:02:41,407 --> 00:02:43,428 - Morning, lads. - Morning. 61 00:02:43,528 --> 00:02:45,828 - Morning, Jim. - An early start, isn't it? 62 00:02:45,928 --> 00:02:48,469 Yeah. Listen, if the cops turn up, you haven't seen us. 63 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,709 Lie to the police? That's perjury, that is. 64 00:02:51,809 --> 00:02:53,590 That's perverting the course of justice. 65 00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:55,310 Hey, I don't know what it is, 66 00:02:55,410 --> 00:02:56,670 but it's something. 67 00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:57,750 Just piss off. 68 00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,951 We're gonna look at the plants, keep our heads down. 69 00:03:00,051 --> 00:03:02,911 You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. 70 00:03:03,011 --> 00:03:05,432 - There's a job I need done. - What job? 71 00:03:05,532 --> 00:03:06,912 A Shetland pony. 72 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,232 - Yeah, you might need to elaborate. - And fast, yeah? 73 00:03:09,332 --> 00:03:13,473 I need one stolen so I can enter the Royal Lancs Show this weekend. 74 00:03:13,573 --> 00:03:16,474 - And why would you want to go and do that? - There's a big purse on it. 75 00:03:16,574 --> 00:03:18,754 - Purse? - A fucking prize! Whatever! 76 00:03:18,854 --> 00:03:21,194 Purse? Who are you, Robin of fucking Loxley? 77 00:03:21,294 --> 00:03:23,675 - We haven't got time for this, Jim. - Fine! 78 00:03:23,775 --> 00:03:25,995 Get all your weed plants off my farm 79 00:03:26,095 --> 00:03:28,916 and your nicked wheels out of my chicken shed. 80 00:03:29,016 --> 00:03:31,976 Him, next door, Goldilocks... 81 00:03:32,976 --> 00:03:34,677 ..he's got himself a beaut. 82 00:03:34,777 --> 00:03:36,837 A mane like silk. 83 00:03:36,937 --> 00:03:38,597 It's got to be better, Vin. 84 00:03:38,697 --> 00:03:40,358 Is that all this is? One-upmanship? 85 00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:42,358 Fucking Paslowski! 86 00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:44,078 He shouldn't even be here any more. 87 00:03:44,178 --> 00:03:45,799 I voted Leave 88 00:03:45,899 --> 00:03:48,519 and that cunt's just bought a nice big baler! 89 00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:51,200 - A fucking Shetland pony! - You'll get one. 90 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,320 Christ Almighty! Just get up the fucking hill. 91 00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,420 He is a horrible, horrible little man. 92 00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:05,502 Ow, my fucking hand, Dylan! You've done that three times this week! 93 00:04:11,983 --> 00:04:13,604 VINNIE: These are my guys. 94 00:04:13,704 --> 00:04:17,084 That's Dylan, he's been my best mate since school, him. 95 00:04:17,184 --> 00:04:19,805 We bonded over ganja and hip-hop. 96 00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:21,885 Ashley Dennings and Lesley Titt, 97 00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:23,725 AKA Cardi, 98 00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:25,526 Cardi being short for cardiac arrest. 99 00:04:25,626 --> 00:04:28,406 He's fucking damn near useless, but we love the daft git. 100 00:04:28,506 --> 00:04:31,767 Ashley's the complete opposite, he comes from a travelling family. 101 00:04:31,867 --> 00:04:34,567 He can switch to extreme violence at a moment's notice. 102 00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:37,308 Which makes him kind of handy to have around, really. 103 00:04:38,388 --> 00:04:40,048 Fucking Shetland pony! 104 00:04:40,148 --> 00:04:41,848 And that's me, Vincent O'Neill. 105 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,329 They say I've got bipolar. I live in a shack in the woods. 106 00:04:44,429 --> 00:04:46,729 And if that wasn't bad enough, I'm going bald an' all. 107 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,330 Where am I going to find one of them? 108 00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:51,050 I've got the day from hell and now I've got to find a tiny horse. 109 00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:52,370 I know. 110 00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:53,730 Ash. 111 00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:57,811 If your mind has just gone, "Ash, gypsy blood, horses," 112 00:04:57,911 --> 00:04:59,652 well, that's pretty much racism. 113 00:04:59,752 --> 00:05:01,772 All right, do you know where to find one, though? 114 00:05:01,872 --> 00:05:03,332 Of course I do. 115 00:05:03,432 --> 00:05:05,853 - Brilliant. Right, well, take him, then. - No, I'm working. 116 00:05:05,953 --> 00:05:08,413 - Fucking take him, then. - Where are you in all this? 117 00:05:08,513 --> 00:05:10,373 Have I not just said? I've got the day from hell. 118 00:05:10,473 --> 00:05:12,894 I've got a million things to do. I'm asking you to do one thing. 119 00:05:12,994 --> 00:05:15,454 I've got a million things. A million things! 120 00:05:15,554 --> 00:05:17,775 Bollocks! I need to get this car to JJ. 121 00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,535 I've got to go to the bloody doctor's yet. 122 00:05:19,635 --> 00:05:21,735 The last thing I need to do is steal a miniature horse! 123 00:05:21,835 --> 00:05:24,756 Ralph Roberts said he saw him on a bridge contemplating. 124 00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:27,376 Shit. 125 00:05:27,476 --> 00:05:29,897 - Oh, crap... - What is it? 126 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,777 I think he's g-g-getting his arse out again. 127 00:05:32,877 --> 00:05:35,118 - Christ. - Let me have a look. 128 00:05:36,198 --> 00:05:37,858 Have a look down there. 129 00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:41,339 He is getting his arse out again. Why does he do this, man? 130 00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:43,519 He's got the world's worst arse. 131 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:46,980 JJ? 132 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,540 - It's the wrong bleeding car. - Huh? 133 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,781 It's the right colour, it's the right style, it's the wrong fucking year, mate. 134 00:05:52,881 --> 00:05:54,701 You're going to have to unsteal this. 135 00:05:54,801 --> 00:05:56,421 VINNIE: JJ, Jehan Javani. 136 00:05:56,521 --> 00:05:59,502 Legitimate mechanic, but has a sideline in stolen motors. 137 00:05:59,602 --> 00:06:00,742 This is bullshit, Vin. 138 00:06:00,842 --> 00:06:03,183 And why the fuck is there a dead pheasant attached to it? 139 00:06:03,283 --> 00:06:05,463 - Thank you, pheasant. - It's a chicken, Dylan. 140 00:06:05,563 --> 00:06:07,503 - Pheasant. - Oh, come on, it's a chicken. 141 00:06:07,603 --> 00:06:09,344 - My God, it's a pheasant. - It's a chicken! 142 00:06:09,444 --> 00:06:10,424 No, no, stop. Listen. 143 00:06:10,524 --> 00:06:12,704 I'll unsteal it, but it's going to have to be later, man. 144 00:06:12,804 --> 00:06:15,985 No, not later. Now. This can't stay. I can't get fucking caught with this here. 145 00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:18,145 Put a shagging cover over it. I need to be somewhere. 146 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,106 Just one hour. Please, dude, one hour. 147 00:06:20,206 --> 00:06:22,146 (He sighs heavily) 148 00:06:22,246 --> 00:06:24,026 You're an angel, is what you are. 149 00:06:24,126 --> 00:06:26,587 While you've got your wings on, and don't get cross, 150 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,687 I need to borrow a van. 151 00:06:29,487 --> 00:06:31,788 - What kind of van? - Any kind. 152 00:06:31,888 --> 00:06:34,628 As long as it's big enough to fit, say, a kind of, erm... 153 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,249 A medium-sized horse. 154 00:06:38,289 --> 00:06:39,749 Are you fucking kidding me? 155 00:06:39,849 --> 00:06:41,849 Right, well, it's that or nothing. 156 00:06:43,050 --> 00:06:45,050 Come on. 157 00:06:45,810 --> 00:06:47,810 Come on! 158 00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:51,671 - Bacon? You've been cooking? - Yeah, I'm starving. 159 00:06:51,771 --> 00:06:53,891 What have you been told about red meat? 160 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,752 It's a m-m-myth. We're m-mammals. 161 00:06:57,852 --> 00:07:00,553 - M-M-Meat is... - Right, no more Ms. 162 00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:02,693 - Besides, Nigel likes it. - Nigel? 163 00:07:04,373 --> 00:07:05,433 (Pigeon coos) 164 00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:07,194 Why the fuck have you brought a pigeon? 165 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,674 His sister died. 166 00:07:08,774 --> 00:07:10,714 She got decapitated in a folding deckchair. 167 00:07:10,814 --> 00:07:13,455 I thought it was best he w-w-wasn't on his own. 168 00:07:15,175 --> 00:07:17,436 So...w-w-what's the plan? 169 00:07:17,536 --> 00:07:21,236 - Where are we going to lift it from? - There's a school up in Ryebrook. 170 00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:22,996 It's a posh place. 171 00:07:23,096 --> 00:07:25,437 Just up the hill, there's a stable 172 00:07:25,537 --> 00:07:27,397 with not one, but two Shetland ponies. 173 00:07:27,497 --> 00:07:30,678 OK, but how are w-w-we going to get it to go with us? 174 00:07:30,778 --> 00:07:32,718 Well, we lead it by the rein. 175 00:07:32,818 --> 00:07:35,799 Have you ever tried to get a horse to do something against its w-w-will? 176 00:07:35,899 --> 00:07:38,399 - No. But I bet you have. - You're going to call me a genius. 177 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:40,960 - Chloroform. - Chlor...? 178 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,640 Chloroform? 179 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:44,760 I bought it down the pub a few w-w-weeks back. 180 00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:45,880 It was really cheap. 181 00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:49,381 You get this on a rag, over its hooter and down it goes. 182 00:07:51,141 --> 00:07:52,362 That's genius. 183 00:07:52,462 --> 00:07:54,542 Put the chloroform away. 184 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,743 I don't... 185 00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:02,083 Oh, I'm coming! I'm coming! 186 00:08:02,183 --> 00:08:04,504 Don't you dare. Don't you dare come. 187 00:08:07,624 --> 00:08:08,964 (She pants) 188 00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:11,525 - I still haven't. - All right, finish on my tits. 189 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,625 Yeah, all right. 190 00:08:14,425 --> 00:08:16,446 VINNIE: That's Erin. She used to be a wild child, 191 00:08:16,546 --> 00:08:18,326 but shagging around landed her with a kid. 192 00:08:18,426 --> 00:08:20,687 Since then, she's really pulled herself together. 193 00:08:20,787 --> 00:08:23,127 These days, she's a woman with a plan. 194 00:08:23,227 --> 00:08:25,207 - 3:30, infants' gate, yeah? - Yeah. 195 00:08:25,307 --> 00:08:27,208 - Hey... - Now, you can't forget, Dylan. 196 00:08:27,308 --> 00:08:29,488 - Why would I forget? - Because... 197 00:08:29,588 --> 00:08:32,809 ..you'll meet up with Vinnie, get stoned, the usual. 198 00:08:32,909 --> 00:08:34,909 I won't forget. 199 00:08:35,989 --> 00:08:39,310 And it's careers night tonight. I'm going to ask them about opportunities. 200 00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:42,650 It's going to happen, Dylan. As soon as I'm qualified, 201 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,891 I'm applying for jobs and looking for schools. 202 00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:48,291 - Yeah. - Right, I won't be back until late, OK? 203 00:08:48,391 --> 00:08:50,392 - Bye-bye. - I love you. 204 00:08:51,592 --> 00:08:54,332 Right, he's going to need a bath, story, bed. Yeah? 205 00:08:54,432 --> 00:08:55,933 - Yeah. - Bye. 206 00:08:56,033 --> 00:08:58,033 (Bucket of water splashes) 207 00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:07,615 - Where's the car, Vinnie? - What car's that, Slater? 208 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:10,255 - The one you nicked this morning. - You must have the wrong man. 209 00:09:10,355 --> 00:09:11,735 I'm surprised you're out so early. 210 00:09:11,835 --> 00:09:14,416 I thought you'd be balls deep in a dog somewhere by now. 211 00:09:14,516 --> 00:09:18,257 It's small-time now, Vin. But small-time leads to medium-time. 212 00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:21,537 And medium-time inevitably gets drawn into the big-time. 213 00:09:21,637 --> 00:09:23,617 And once you get involved with them fuckers, 214 00:09:23,717 --> 00:09:26,938 you're gonna wish you'd got yourself a job behind the fish counter at Morrisons. 215 00:09:27,038 --> 00:09:29,939 I applied for that job. They were looking for somebody with mussels. 216 00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:32,239 - Fuck off, Slater. - Fucking dick. 217 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,060 What have you done this time? 218 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,240 Oh, nothing. But I'm sure they'll think of summat. 219 00:09:43,921 --> 00:09:45,921 All clear? 220 00:09:47,162 --> 00:09:49,502 (Pigeon coos) 221 00:09:49,602 --> 00:09:51,622 All clear. 222 00:09:51,722 --> 00:09:55,263 Right, there's two of them. One blond and one white and ginger. 223 00:09:55,363 --> 00:09:57,303 Which one do you think screams prize-winner? 224 00:09:57,403 --> 00:09:58,784 (He chuckles) 225 00:09:58,884 --> 00:10:00,924 The one with the biggest cock. 226 00:10:04,005 --> 00:10:06,005 Right, so... 227 00:10:06,645 --> 00:10:08,725 ..who wants a little treat? 228 00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:12,866 VINNIE: I know I've got a good life. I've got good mates. 229 00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:16,167 And it's not like shit's going wrong all the time. I just... 230 00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:19,947 I just can't turn my mind off. 231 00:10:20,047 --> 00:10:23,628 It just runs and runs and runs and never stops, man. 232 00:10:23,728 --> 00:10:25,828 You know, one minute, I'm down in the dumps, 233 00:10:25,928 --> 00:10:27,469 I can barely get myself out of bed. 234 00:10:27,569 --> 00:10:29,989 The next minute, I'm fucking up, wild as fuck, 235 00:10:30,089 --> 00:10:32,950 making stupid decisions that affect everyone, not just me. 236 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:36,190 And I do, I do think about hurting myself. 237 00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:37,990 You know, I have suicidal thoughts. 238 00:10:38,090 --> 00:10:40,791 That doesn't mean I'm bloody suicidal, though, does it? 239 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,431 I just have the thoughts. Christ, I was on a bridge last Friday. 240 00:10:43,531 --> 00:10:45,472 Ralph Roberts thought I was tossing myself off. 241 00:10:45,572 --> 00:10:47,572 (He chuckles) 242 00:10:48,652 --> 00:10:50,653 Throwing myself off. 243 00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:54,553 But what I'm trying to say is... 244 00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:58,394 ..for as often as I think about suicide, I could never, ever do it. 245 00:10:58,494 --> 00:11:00,494 No, it scares the shit out of me. 246 00:11:01,855 --> 00:11:04,435 You know, then there's my mates. I don't know what they'd... 247 00:11:04,535 --> 00:11:06,315 Are you all right? 248 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,956 - Am I keeping you from something? - Sorry. No, it's just, erm... 249 00:11:09,056 --> 00:11:10,876 I don't know, it's just... a personal issue. 250 00:11:10,976 --> 00:11:13,037 Erm... 251 00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:16,077 - So, you're on Quetiapine. - Mm. 252 00:11:16,177 --> 00:11:17,797 Is it helping? 253 00:11:17,897 --> 00:11:19,438 It doesn't help my libido. 254 00:11:19,538 --> 00:11:22,178 I can barely be bothered to rub one out, never mind get with anyone. 255 00:11:23,258 --> 00:11:25,259 Well... 256 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,819 ..what do you want me to do, Vin? 257 00:11:29,979 --> 00:11:32,220 Well, I don't know. You're the doctor, aren't you? 258 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,640 Well, you could try counselling. 259 00:11:35,740 --> 00:11:37,601 Cognitive behavioural therapy. 260 00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:40,041 But there's a five-month waiting list for that. 261 00:11:40,141 --> 00:11:42,362 - Unless you're prepared to pay. - Pay? 262 00:11:42,462 --> 00:11:44,002 What do you mean, like, go private? 263 00:11:44,102 --> 00:11:46,882 - I don't have that kind of money, man. - (Text message alert) 264 00:11:46,982 --> 00:11:48,203 How...? 265 00:11:48,303 --> 00:11:49,803 Give me that phone. 266 00:11:49,903 --> 00:11:51,903 - No. - Get off. 267 00:11:53,584 --> 00:11:55,724 "Net-a-Lover. Amy, 35." 268 00:11:55,824 --> 00:11:58,744 I'm pouring my heart out, you're on a dating app netting lovers. 269 00:12:01,945 --> 00:12:03,805 Have you tried it? It's unbelievable. 270 00:12:03,905 --> 00:12:06,126 Honest, it's changed my life. Look at this... 271 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,446 I met this girl the other day. She was feral. 272 00:12:08,546 --> 00:12:10,687 - Look at her. - Oh, she looks nice. 273 00:12:10,787 --> 00:12:14,567 My todger looks like a dog's been at it. Look at that. 274 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,808 What...? Bloody hell! Come on, man. 275 00:12:16,908 --> 00:12:18,048 Aw... 276 00:12:18,148 --> 00:12:20,688 - That looks really sore. - And this. That's me. 277 00:12:20,788 --> 00:12:22,529 Argh...! 278 00:12:22,629 --> 00:12:24,629 (He tuts at the pigeon) 279 00:12:25,109 --> 00:12:28,170 - What happened? Did it bolt? - Bolt? No. It's in the van. 280 00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:29,690 In the van? 281 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,210 I offered it a chocolate mouse and it just climbed in the back. 282 00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,451 - It's a dumb animal. - C-C-CAN I have one? 283 00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:36,571 ♪ I'm goin' up the country 284 00:12:36,671 --> 00:12:39,632 ♪ Baby, don't you want to go? 285 00:12:40,792 --> 00:12:42,692 ♪ I'm goin' up the country 286 00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:44,092 ♪ Baby, don't you want to go? ♪ 287 00:12:44,192 --> 00:12:46,573 I still say we should have chloroformed it. 288 00:12:46,673 --> 00:12:48,893 Look, it's in the van. 289 00:12:48,993 --> 00:12:50,734 Yeah, but, look at... 290 00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:53,414 (Splatting in the back of the van) 291 00:12:53,514 --> 00:12:55,414 Oh, God, what's that? Has it shat itself? 292 00:12:55,514 --> 00:12:58,395 - Well, it's a horse. That's what horses do. - Oh, you dirty...! 293 00:12:59,715 --> 00:13:01,715 - Nigel! - (Chloroform bottle smashes) 294 00:13:03,956 --> 00:13:06,376 What the fuck is...? 295 00:13:06,476 --> 00:13:09,517 (Van horn blares) 296 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,397 (Loud crash) 297 00:13:18,918 --> 00:13:20,919 (Pony whinnies) 298 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,780 - One hour after work. - Tommo, I can't. I've got Erin's kid. 299 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:28,900 Bring him along. 300 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,861 Bring him along to help you fit a sex swing in a spunky basement? 301 00:13:31,961 --> 00:13:33,141 Hey, hey... 302 00:13:33,241 --> 00:13:35,181 VINNIE: Tommo, handsome, crafty, unhinged. 303 00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,582 You wouldn't want him hanging out the back of your sister. 304 00:13:37,682 --> 00:13:39,942 He's had chlamydia more often than he's had hot dinners. 305 00:13:40,042 --> 00:13:42,183 - It's an erotic dungeon. - It's not an erotic dungeon. 306 00:13:42,283 --> 00:13:44,063 Hasn't it got lice? 307 00:13:44,163 --> 00:13:45,903 Hang on, what time have you got him till? 308 00:13:46,003 --> 00:13:47,423 All night. Why? 309 00:13:47,523 --> 00:13:49,504 Er, are you not forgetting something? 310 00:13:49,604 --> 00:13:52,304 - Poker match upstairs at 7:30. - Count me out. 311 00:13:52,404 --> 00:13:54,665 Count you out? It's free money, mate. 312 00:13:54,765 --> 00:13:56,225 It's my money. It's Vinnie's money. 313 00:13:56,325 --> 00:13:58,465 Anyway, it's all arranged. Sandy will look after him. 314 00:13:58,565 --> 00:14:00,146 - Won't you, Sandy? - You what, love? 315 00:14:00,246 --> 00:14:03,826 - Babysit Tyler tonight for Dylan. - Oh, boys, you know I would if I could. 316 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,507 Dylan! Dylan! Dylan! Hey up, Tommo. 317 00:14:06,607 --> 00:14:08,627 - Have you heard from Ash or Cardi? - Radio silence. 318 00:14:08,727 --> 00:14:10,747 Where the fuck are they? I've tried them 100 times. 319 00:14:10,847 --> 00:14:12,948 - They're probably bumming. - Yeah, that'll be it. 320 00:14:13,048 --> 00:14:15,068 They'll be bloody bumming. Won't they, knobhead? 321 00:14:15,168 --> 00:14:17,789 They've been gone hours. I should've done this fucking job myself. 322 00:14:17,889 --> 00:14:18,989 Why do I trust these morons? 323 00:14:19,089 --> 00:14:21,149 Dude, just get your stuff together so we can go. 324 00:14:21,249 --> 00:14:24,070 I told you, I'm here till three, then I'm picking Tyler up from school. 325 00:14:24,170 --> 00:14:26,110 Not any more, you're not. Hang on a second. 326 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:27,950 - Kath, love. - Are you all right, Vin? 327 00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:29,231 Yeah, all right, love. 328 00:14:29,331 --> 00:14:31,231 Can I borrow Dildo for a couple of hours? 329 00:14:31,331 --> 00:14:32,831 Why do you need him? 330 00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:35,872 Because I've just lost two idiots I sent to steal a Shetland pony. 331 00:14:35,972 --> 00:14:37,912 Well, as long as it's something important. 332 00:14:38,012 --> 00:14:39,753 - Have you got your car? - Yeah. 333 00:14:39,853 --> 00:14:42,513 - Oh, you're an angel, dude. - If... 334 00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:44,833 ..you help me fit a sex swing in my dungeon. 335 00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:46,914 Every fucker wants something! 336 00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:50,554 MAN: ..often the same products are available throughout the world. 337 00:14:50,654 --> 00:14:55,195 So, if part of the reason for travel is to explore the unique and different, 338 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:58,396 well, then, the sameness factor 339 00:14:58,496 --> 00:15:01,456 is a major tourism challenge. 340 00:15:02,697 --> 00:15:05,117 The globalised marketplace means the... 341 00:15:05,217 --> 00:15:06,917 - It's just a drink. - I've got a boyfriend. 342 00:15:07,017 --> 00:15:08,958 - One drink. - I've got a son, as well. 343 00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,438 - A son? - Yep. 344 00:15:10,538 --> 00:15:12,558 - You don't look old enough. - Smooth. 345 00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:14,759 No, seriously, you don't. 346 00:15:14,859 --> 00:15:16,879 - How old? - Five. 347 00:15:16,979 --> 00:15:19,920 It wasn't planned. But he's the best mistake I ever made. 348 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,020 Right. 349 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:25,240 - Put you off, has it? - No. 350 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,841 Well, it should. 351 00:15:26,941 --> 00:15:30,621 Every decision I make has got one purpose, and that's to give him a better life. 352 00:15:31,982 --> 00:15:34,962 And your boyfriend, does he fit into that? 353 00:15:35,062 --> 00:15:37,062 What, Dylan? 354 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,703 I'm afraid so. 355 00:15:44,784 --> 00:15:47,084 This school, is this the one that Ash's fella taught at? 356 00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:48,525 Yeah. The poor busted. 357 00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:50,965 Cranial trauma. They reckon he'll never teach again. 358 00:15:51,065 --> 00:15:53,805 Yeah. Fucking animals, his family. 359 00:15:53,905 --> 00:15:55,446 I mean, come on, 360 00:15:55,546 --> 00:15:58,086 who gives a shit where anyone sticks their dick any more? 361 00:15:58,186 --> 00:16:00,047 - Do you know what I mean? - Mm. 362 00:16:00,147 --> 00:16:04,207 I have businessmen, barristers, brigadiers come to my place. 363 00:16:04,307 --> 00:16:07,288 Some want spanking, some want to take it up the shitter. 364 00:16:07,388 --> 00:16:09,448 I had a lovely fella in the other day 365 00:16:09,548 --> 00:16:12,289 who wanted me to lick some custard off his nuts. Fair dos. 366 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,889 No, the point being, we're mammals, yeah? 367 00:16:14,989 --> 00:16:16,729 Creatures with urges. 368 00:16:16,829 --> 00:16:21,490 Whether it's arseholes, fannies or, you know, some granny's gummy cakehole, 369 00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:25,011 dicks are gonna go in soft, warm holes. End of. 370 00:16:25,111 --> 00:16:28,211 You're an ambassador for a more tolerant society, Tom. 371 00:16:28,311 --> 00:16:31,432 - Christ Almighty. Do a left here, will you? - Right, yeah. 372 00:16:32,672 --> 00:16:34,413 Oh, bollocks! 373 00:16:34,513 --> 00:16:36,813 They haven't even took it, dude. 374 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,893 - Maybe they found one somewhere else. - Where? 375 00:16:38,993 --> 00:16:40,334 The cereal aisle at Aldi? Christ. 376 00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,854 Erm... 377 00:16:41,954 --> 00:16:43,954 All right, sod it. 378 00:16:46,275 --> 00:16:48,015 What are you doing, Vin? 379 00:16:48,115 --> 00:16:49,975 Vin, you're not being rational. Vin! 380 00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:52,376 How are you going to get him back to Jim's? 381 00:16:52,476 --> 00:16:55,396 - The back seat. You can walk. - But I'm picking up Tyler! 382 00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,137 Fucking hell. 383 00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,238 Yes, you can, you silly sod. 384 00:17:04,838 --> 00:17:06,838 Don't fucking frighten it. 385 00:17:11,919 --> 00:17:13,919 - Come on, then. - What? 386 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,861 - Oi! - (Shotgun blasts) 387 00:17:20,961 --> 00:17:22,581 - Fucking hell! - Jesus! 388 00:17:22,681 --> 00:17:24,781 - (Gunshot) - Jesus! 389 00:17:24,881 --> 00:17:26,882 - Vinnie! - (Gunshot) 390 00:17:29,602 --> 00:17:32,183 - (Gunshot) - He's trying to kill us, Vinnie! 391 00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:33,383 - (Gunshot) - Vinnie! 392 00:17:33,483 --> 00:17:34,463 No, no, no, no. 393 00:17:34,563 --> 00:17:36,383 - Vinnie! Run! - (Gunshot) 394 00:17:36,483 --> 00:17:38,224 Vinnie! 395 00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,624 Run! 396 00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:40,824 Run! 397 00:17:40,924 --> 00:17:44,025 Can you leave the fucking horse, mate, and stop fucking about?! 398 00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:45,865 (Gunshot) 399 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,505 Vin! 400 00:17:47,605 --> 00:17:49,606 Vinnie! 401 00:17:55,927 --> 00:17:57,467 (Gunshots) 402 00:17:57,567 --> 00:17:59,567 What is he doing?! 403 00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:04,348 Oh, fuck me, hey? Oh, now we're living. 404 00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:06,949 - He could have fucking killed us. - He was aiming to miss, dude. 405 00:18:07,049 --> 00:18:08,949 - You fucking prick! - Oh, don't be grumpy. 406 00:18:09,049 --> 00:18:10,589 Dill... Dylan... 407 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,390 Don't be cross. 408 00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:14,730 - Sex swing. - All right. 409 00:18:22,691 --> 00:18:25,092 Oh, come on, come on... For fuck's sake. 410 00:18:26,212 --> 00:18:28,872 - Are you seeing anyone? - Me? Christ, no. 411 00:18:28,972 --> 00:18:31,433 You know what I'm like. I can't inflict this on anyone, can I? 412 00:18:31,533 --> 00:18:34,413 They're hardly queueing up for a bipolar thief that lives in the woods. 413 00:18:35,694 --> 00:18:38,834 Do you want me to sort you out a paid-for, so you can empty your sac? 414 00:18:38,934 --> 00:18:41,335 No, it's a lovely offer, Tom. But I've no libido. 415 00:18:42,615 --> 00:18:44,715 - How's business? - Oh, booming, yeah. 416 00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:45,795 Is it? 417 00:18:45,895 --> 00:18:48,156 They're all getting into that space docking now. 418 00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:49,956 I've had to take up the carpet. 419 00:18:50,056 --> 00:18:51,236 Hi. No, Tyler Croft. 420 00:18:51,336 --> 00:18:53,337 Yeah, Croft! 421 00:18:53,857 --> 00:18:56,597 Sorry, the reception is bad. You know, I'm in the hills. 422 00:18:56,697 --> 00:18:58,938 Erm...Croft. 423 00:19:00,458 --> 00:19:02,758 Yeah, I'm collecting him, but I'm running late. 424 00:19:02,858 --> 00:19:04,759 Can you tell his teacher I'll be there as...? 425 00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:06,079 Fuck! 426 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,119 Foot down and straight to the school. 427 00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:10,280 Chillout, panicking Skywalker. 428 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:13,040 He's five. They're not going to toss him out on his own. 429 00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:14,800 No, they'll ring Erin and then she'll know 430 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,721 I've done the exact thing she told me not to do. 431 00:19:16,821 --> 00:19:18,801 What, she told you not to go looking for two morons 432 00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:20,521 who got lost stealing a Shetland pony? 433 00:19:20,621 --> 00:19:23,222 - Christ, she must really know you, Dylan. - Just go faster. 434 00:19:24,502 --> 00:19:26,502 Why do I listen to you?! 435 00:19:26,823 --> 00:19:28,043 Every time! 436 00:19:28,143 --> 00:19:29,563 How does it work? My day was planned. 437 00:19:29,663 --> 00:19:31,963 And then, as usual, you appear and you derail everything. 438 00:19:32,063 --> 00:19:34,524 Derail every...? Do you know, what's that you've got there? 439 00:19:34,624 --> 00:19:37,244 You've got a mind of your own. I'll tell you why you're here, Dylan. 440 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,765 Cos you bloody well want to be. 441 00:19:38,865 --> 00:19:42,525 So, if you're looking for someone to blame, piss off and blame yourself, you dizzy bugger. 442 00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:44,446 - Mind the bloody bend, Tommo! - Jesus! 443 00:19:44,546 --> 00:19:46,546 (Tyres screech) 444 00:19:50,307 --> 00:19:52,687 Dill... Dill, it's the bloody van. 445 00:19:52,787 --> 00:19:54,867 Have they crashed through the fucking hedge? 446 00:19:57,148 --> 00:19:58,648 Cardi! 447 00:19:58,748 --> 00:20:00,208 Whoa, whoa...! 448 00:20:00,308 --> 00:20:03,049 - Bloody fumes or something. - It's chloroform. 449 00:20:03,149 --> 00:20:05,329 If that's on their clothes, we'll all be on the deck. 450 00:20:05,429 --> 00:20:06,809 Well, how are we gonna get them out? 451 00:20:06,909 --> 00:20:08,930 - Cover your face. Arm each. Ash first. - All right. 452 00:20:09,030 --> 00:20:10,530 - I'll take Cardi. - What, on your own? 453 00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:12,771 - You'll put your back out. Get the pony. - Pony? 454 00:20:12,871 --> 00:20:14,651 We still need the bloody horse, Dylan! 455 00:20:14,751 --> 00:20:16,611 - I'm supposed to be at Tyler's school! - Pony! 456 00:20:16,711 --> 00:20:18,692 The dude is breathing weird. 457 00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:20,772 It's on his jeans. They'll have to come off. 458 00:20:20,872 --> 00:20:23,352 Right, I'll get his jeans off. You go and get Cardi. 459 00:20:26,353 --> 00:20:28,333 It's all right, dude. It's all right, mate. 460 00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:29,693 Whoa, whoa...! 461 00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:31,814 - What, what? - Blood and sand, dude. 462 00:20:31,914 --> 00:20:33,734 - Jesus Christ. - What? 463 00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,094 His knob's massive! 464 00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:37,455 - Didn't you know? - Well, no, I didn't know. 465 00:20:37,555 --> 00:20:39,575 - Did you know? - Of course. 466 00:20:39,675 --> 00:20:41,095 How? 467 00:20:41,195 --> 00:20:43,196 I just knew. 468 00:20:44,756 --> 00:20:46,916 We're going to need an ambulance. 469 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,119 Thanks! 470 00:21:02,199 --> 00:21:04,380 I was on my way, right? I swear to you. 471 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,660 I was on my way and then we swerved, right? 472 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,060 We almost hit a horse. 473 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,261 And that is when we found the others and I couldn't just leave them. 474 00:21:11,361 --> 00:21:13,341 They were in a bad way. 475 00:21:13,441 --> 00:21:16,502 Will you just please, please go to college? 476 00:21:16,602 --> 00:21:19,502 Go back to careers night, because I will stay here, I swear. 477 00:21:19,602 --> 00:21:21,022 Argh! 478 00:21:21,122 --> 00:21:23,223 What are you so afraid of? 479 00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:25,023 Achieving something? 480 00:21:25,123 --> 00:21:27,404 Actually participating in the world? What? 481 00:21:29,804 --> 00:21:32,264 Like, maybe I just like getting stoned and stealing things. 482 00:21:32,364 --> 00:21:33,465 Oh, fine. 483 00:21:33,565 --> 00:21:35,345 Fine, you tell yourself that. 484 00:21:35,445 --> 00:21:37,545 Tell yourself that's all you're capable of. 485 00:21:37,645 --> 00:21:40,666 There's a smart brain in there, Dylan. You do nothing with it. 486 00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:43,306 Yeah, well, you try playing six games of poker simultaneously. 487 00:21:43,406 --> 00:21:44,867 - Oh, fuck off. - It was a joke. 488 00:21:44,967 --> 00:21:46,967 Erin, what am I supposed to do? 489 00:21:47,927 --> 00:21:49,707 Hey? What, put a suit on? 490 00:21:49,807 --> 00:21:52,788 Go and tap a keyboard in some fucking industrial estate 491 00:21:52,888 --> 00:21:54,908 and chat crap with Martin from accounts? 492 00:21:55,008 --> 00:21:57,869 "All right, Martin, mate? How are you doing, man? Good weekend? 493 00:21:57,969 --> 00:22:00,189 "Did you watch the footy?" Fuck you. 494 00:22:00,289 --> 00:22:02,550 Don't make me out to be the sensible one, all right? 495 00:22:02,650 --> 00:22:05,350 I'm not... I'm not telling you to go and put a suit on, am I? 496 00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:08,951 But stealing cars and tiny horses, really, Dylan... 497 00:22:09,051 --> 00:22:11,091 What, is that your career, is it? 498 00:22:12,491 --> 00:22:14,752 You know what? You're going to end up in prison. 499 00:22:14,852 --> 00:22:16,312 You are. 500 00:22:16,412 --> 00:22:18,872 Or next time, you'll swerve, hit a fucking wall 501 00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:21,013 and I'm burying you next to your stupid mate. 502 00:22:22,453 --> 00:22:23,993 I'm worried about him. 503 00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:26,594 - Why? - If we leave... 504 00:22:26,694 --> 00:22:29,674 - When we leave... - Mm. 505 00:22:29,774 --> 00:22:31,955 ..who is going to look after him? 506 00:22:32,055 --> 00:22:34,075 - He'll survive, Dylan. - Yeah? 507 00:22:34,175 --> 00:22:35,195 Yeah. 508 00:22:35,295 --> 00:22:37,376 Then why has he been seen on the edge of a bridge? 509 00:22:40,816 --> 00:22:42,277 All right. 510 00:22:42,377 --> 00:22:43,637 All right, so, what? 511 00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:46,797 What are we going to do? We're going to stay here for ever, are we? 512 00:22:46,897 --> 00:22:49,998 You can't dedicate your life to Vinnie watch, Dylan. 513 00:22:50,098 --> 00:22:52,278 And have you thought that he might be on the bridge 514 00:22:52,378 --> 00:22:54,279 cos you told him you're thinking about leaving? 515 00:22:54,379 --> 00:22:56,959 - No, that's shit. - Is it? He's bipolar. 516 00:22:57,059 --> 00:22:59,640 He's on meds. He doesn't need you, Dylan. 517 00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:01,080 He wants you. 518 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:03,980 Having you around stops him thinking about his own life. 519 00:23:05,261 --> 00:23:07,121 You endorse each other. 520 00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:09,221 Look, just... 521 00:23:10,061 --> 00:23:11,562 ..go to college. 522 00:23:11,662 --> 00:23:13,762 All right? Come on, I'm here. 523 00:23:13,862 --> 00:23:16,743 And I will not leave this house, right? I promise. 524 00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:19,863 Hey? 525 00:23:21,383 --> 00:23:23,384 Come on. Come on. 526 00:23:24,144 --> 00:23:26,004 TOMMO: Get Dylan at that card game tonight. 527 00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:28,685 He's playing with our money and I need them winnings. 528 00:23:28,785 --> 00:23:31,765 I need them, too. But you heard him earlier having a bloody go at me. 529 00:23:31,865 --> 00:23:33,605 There's a big purse available, Vin. 530 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:36,406 - He's the best player there is. - Purse... 531 00:23:36,506 --> 00:23:38,686 What is it with everyone and the word purse? 532 00:23:38,786 --> 00:23:40,647 - Listen, I'll do my best. - All right, Vin? 533 00:23:40,747 --> 00:23:44,607 (Whipping and moaning in background) 534 00:23:44,707 --> 00:23:46,748 Are you all right, Geoff? 535 00:23:48,508 --> 00:23:50,128 How's your mum? 536 00:23:50,228 --> 00:23:52,669 Oh, she's over the worst now. Thanks for asking. 537 00:23:55,269 --> 00:23:57,890 - All right, well, send her my love. - I will. 538 00:23:57,990 --> 00:23:59,730 Good stuff. 539 00:23:59,830 --> 00:24:01,530 Is, erm...? 540 00:24:01,630 --> 00:24:02,971 (He sighs heavily) 541 00:24:03,071 --> 00:24:05,071 Is that your horse in the yard? 542 00:24:06,271 --> 00:24:08,952 Geoffrey, that one's spoken for. 543 00:24:11,752 --> 00:24:13,752 Cheeky bastard. 544 00:24:19,794 --> 00:24:21,794 Hey? 545 00:24:24,074 --> 00:24:26,375 - It's blond. - So? 546 00:24:26,475 --> 00:24:30,175 So, I didn't ask you to steal a blond one, did I? 547 00:24:30,275 --> 00:24:31,896 No, dickhead. You didn't specify. 548 00:24:31,996 --> 00:24:33,896 You said, "Steal me a pony." So, there. 549 00:24:33,996 --> 00:24:36,056 Whoever owns it is going to recognise it a mile off. 550 00:24:36,156 --> 00:24:39,217 Jimbo, I don't know what to tell you. You said, "Steal me a pony." 551 00:24:39,317 --> 00:24:41,317 So, I got you one. Bloody hell! 552 00:24:42,317 --> 00:24:44,458 - Hang on. - Oh... 553 00:24:44,558 --> 00:24:46,558 I've got an idea. 554 00:24:48,719 --> 00:24:50,339 Lose The Grey? 555 00:24:50,439 --> 00:24:52,479 I couldn't shift the bloody stuff. 556 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,020 Fuck sake. 557 00:24:58,120 --> 00:24:59,981 I'm doing all right. 558 00:25:00,081 --> 00:25:02,341 You've got to get right under the layers, you see? 559 00:25:02,441 --> 00:25:03,981 The devil's in the detail. 560 00:25:04,081 --> 00:25:05,662 You fucking missed a bit! 561 00:25:05,762 --> 00:25:07,422 I don't like being behind it. 562 00:25:07,522 --> 00:25:10,262 - I think this is going to bloody work. - This is well going to work. 563 00:25:10,362 --> 00:25:11,903 Make sure you don't miss the legs. 564 00:25:12,003 --> 00:25:15,223 There's not, like, a surplus of tiny horses knocking around. 565 00:25:15,323 --> 00:25:17,304 It's a Shetland pony, not an horse. 566 00:25:17,404 --> 00:25:19,404 There we go. 567 00:25:24,565 --> 00:25:26,585 Look, I've told you, I'll cover for you. 568 00:25:26,685 --> 00:25:27,905 No. 569 00:25:28,005 --> 00:25:30,666 You'll make enough in one night to see you and Erin right for a month. 570 00:25:30,766 --> 00:25:32,986 - I'm with Tyler. I gave my word. - Yeah, you did. 571 00:25:33,086 --> 00:25:34,947 You gave your word, you gave your word to Tommo 572 00:25:35,047 --> 00:25:37,547 and you gave your word to me. You know, I've got a hole in my roof? 573 00:25:37,647 --> 00:25:39,667 Hey? I've got a fucking hole. 574 00:25:39,767 --> 00:25:42,068 I'm sleeping in a sou'wester and bloody long johns. 575 00:25:42,168 --> 00:25:44,068 I look ridiculous. Listen to the logic, right. 576 00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:47,109 - Erin's out till ten o'clock, yeah? - Yeah. 577 00:25:47,209 --> 00:25:49,429 - Tyler's going to be in bed, isn't he? - Yeah. 578 00:25:49,529 --> 00:25:51,990 And you'll be sat downstairs watching bollocks on YouTube. 579 00:25:52,090 --> 00:25:54,350 So, if I'm sat downstairs watching bollocks on YouTube, 580 00:25:54,450 --> 00:25:56,450 what's the bloody difference? 581 00:25:57,210 --> 00:25:58,351 No. 582 00:25:58,451 --> 00:26:01,871 As long as you're back before she is, what's the difference, Dylan? 583 00:26:01,971 --> 00:26:04,272 No! Mate, no means no, all right? 584 00:26:04,372 --> 00:26:06,992 - I'm hanging up the phone. - No, don't. Don't hang up the phone. 585 00:26:07,092 --> 00:26:09,473 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted. 586 00:26:09,573 --> 00:26:11,033 How about this? 587 00:26:11,133 --> 00:26:13,833 I'll ring Big Sandy and I'll see if she can babysit. 588 00:26:13,933 --> 00:26:15,434 She can't. 589 00:26:15,534 --> 00:26:17,834 And even if she could, no. 590 00:26:17,934 --> 00:26:21,195 Vin, you're doing that thing where you don't think about anyone but yourself. 591 00:26:21,295 --> 00:26:23,435 Think of anyone but my...? 592 00:26:23,535 --> 00:26:26,636 Dylan, I'm trying to make you money! I'm trying to make you the money! 593 00:26:26,736 --> 00:26:28,996 I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll count cards. 594 00:26:29,096 --> 00:26:30,916 I can fucking bluff. I can do all that. 595 00:26:31,016 --> 00:26:34,637 And when I fucking win, which I actually will, you're getting zilch. 596 00:26:34,737 --> 00:26:36,917 Fuck all. Sweet FA, dude. 597 00:26:37,017 --> 00:26:40,318 So, come pissing and whingeing to me when you and Erin are skint. 598 00:26:40,418 --> 00:26:41,558 Fuck! 599 00:26:41,658 --> 00:26:43,659 - (Phone rings) - Oh...! 600 00:26:44,819 --> 00:26:46,819 Shit. 601 00:26:48,059 --> 00:26:49,920 Hey up, JJ. What's going on, mate? 602 00:26:50,020 --> 00:26:52,160 Oh, just shut it. I've had the police at my garage. 603 00:26:52,260 --> 00:26:54,600 - You need to get them wheels out of there. - All right. 604 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:57,281 It's just... It's been a fucking nightmare day. 605 00:26:57,381 --> 00:26:59,281 - Look, have you diverted them? - Yes. 606 00:26:59,381 --> 00:27:02,042 But just get rid. Get me the one I asked for. 607 00:27:02,142 --> 00:27:03,682 - I will. - You've sent me to drink. 608 00:27:03,782 --> 00:27:05,922 Fucking drink! 609 00:27:06,022 --> 00:27:07,363 JJ? 610 00:27:07,463 --> 00:27:09,463 J...? 611 00:27:13,024 --> 00:27:15,024 Fuck! 612 00:27:33,467 --> 00:27:35,548 (Phone rings) 613 00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,529 Are you all right, Dill? 614 00:27:41,629 --> 00:27:44,809 - What can I get you, gents? - Vincent O'Neill. 615 00:27:44,909 --> 00:27:46,410 Who? 616 00:27:46,510 --> 00:27:49,230 I said, I'm looking for Vincent O'Neill. Do you know where he is? 617 00:27:50,390 --> 00:27:52,931 - No. - A skinny lad. Receding hairline. 618 00:27:53,031 --> 00:27:55,151 We need to find him. 619 00:27:56,551 --> 00:27:58,332 - Are you all right? - Two rules. 620 00:27:58,432 --> 00:27:59,852 Don't eat anything. 621 00:27:59,952 --> 00:28:01,532 - And don't smoke indoors. - Sound. 622 00:28:01,632 --> 00:28:02,852 And... 623 00:28:02,952 --> 00:28:04,693 ..do not take your shoes off. 624 00:28:04,793 --> 00:28:06,793 Cos that stink lingers. 625 00:28:10,994 --> 00:28:12,734 That's three rules. 626 00:28:12,834 --> 00:28:15,795 ♪ I don't feel that way 627 00:28:16,795 --> 00:28:23,756 ♪ And you told me you'd forgiven me For everything... ♪ 628 00:28:28,397 --> 00:28:29,817 Who are they? 629 00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:32,217 - They work for Terence McCann. - Who? 630 00:28:32,317 --> 00:28:35,378 Terence McCann. Businessman, in inverted commas. 631 00:28:35,478 --> 00:28:37,298 Apparently, he isn't very happy 632 00:28:37,398 --> 00:28:40,339 because one of his daughter's ponies has been stolen. 633 00:28:40,439 --> 00:28:42,599 Shit. Vinnie... 634 00:29:02,803 --> 00:29:04,803 (Phone rings) 635 00:29:07,244 --> 00:29:09,984 JJ, I've unstolen it, man. I've got to get you a new one tomorrow. 636 00:29:10,084 --> 00:29:12,625 Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie. There's a problem. 637 00:29:12,725 --> 00:29:14,265 All right, that fucking pony, 638 00:29:14,365 --> 00:29:16,505 - you have to get it back. - What? 639 00:29:16,605 --> 00:29:18,386 It belongs to Terence McCann. And he said... 640 00:29:18,486 --> 00:29:20,106 Terence fucking...? 641 00:29:20,206 --> 00:29:21,586 - Who the fuck...? - (Phone buzzes) 642 00:29:21,686 --> 00:29:23,506 Hang on a minute. A call coming through here. 643 00:29:23,606 --> 00:29:25,607 All right. 644 00:29:26,687 --> 00:29:28,107 Jim, what's going on, man? 645 00:29:28,207 --> 00:29:31,668 I've just seen a flashlight heading down the path towards your shack, Vin. 646 00:29:31,768 --> 00:29:34,348 You want to check you haven't got visitors. 647 00:29:34,448 --> 00:29:36,449 Oh, shit. 648 00:29:37,009 --> 00:29:39,249 All right, I'm on my way. 649 00:29:51,611 --> 00:29:53,932 ♪ Don't believe me if I tell you 650 00:29:55,412 --> 00:29:58,212 ♪ Not a word of this is true 651 00:29:59,453 --> 00:30:01,833 ♪ Don't believe me if I tell you 652 00:30:01,933 --> 00:30:05,314 ♪ Especially if I tell you I'm in love with you 653 00:30:05,414 --> 00:30:07,934 ♪ Don't believe me if I tell you 654 00:30:09,294 --> 00:30:11,575 ♪ That I wrote this song for you 655 00:30:13,295 --> 00:30:16,716 ♪ That's it's not just Some other silly pretty girl 656 00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:18,816 ♪ I'm singing to 657 00:30:19,656 --> 00:30:21,657 ♪ Don't believe a word 658 00:30:22,737 --> 00:30:25,057 ♪ For words are so easily spoken 659 00:30:26,737 --> 00:30:29,678 ♪ And your heart Is just like that cup 660 00:30:29,778 --> 00:30:32,338 ♪ Made to be broken... ♪ 661 00:30:50,061 --> 00:30:52,702 (Phone buzzes) 662 00:31:00,903 --> 00:31:02,904 (He clears his throat) 663 00:31:13,626 --> 00:31:15,626 Shit... 664 00:31:44,071 --> 00:31:47,031 All right, I'm armed. I don't want any trouble. 665 00:32:16,116 --> 00:32:18,117 Dad! 666 00:32:19,837 --> 00:32:21,817 You're going a bit thin there, son. 667 00:32:21,917 --> 00:32:23,178 Hey? 668 00:32:23,278 --> 00:32:24,538 Piss off. 669 00:32:24,638 --> 00:32:26,778 - What, she's thrown you out again, has she? - No. 670 00:32:26,878 --> 00:32:30,239 - Her husband's got an early release. - Oh. 671 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,060 Mm. 672 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,321 (He snores gently) 673 00:32:43,881 --> 00:32:46,802 Right, I've got to go. But I'll see you later. See you tomorrow. 674 00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:00,644 Fuck's sake! 675 00:33:03,445 --> 00:33:06,205 - I didn't know you had a unicycle. - All right, Jake? 676 00:33:07,445 --> 00:33:09,426 Lift? 677 00:33:09,526 --> 00:33:11,626 - Throw the bike in the back. - Er... 678 00:33:11,726 --> 00:33:13,707 No, you're all right. I'll get a bus. It's fine. 679 00:33:13,807 --> 00:33:15,947 I've got a Duran Duran CD. 680 00:33:16,047 --> 00:33:18,507 (He chuckles) 681 00:33:18,607 --> 00:33:20,608 Dad's car. 682 00:33:21,808 --> 00:33:23,348 Yeah, OK. All right, thank you. 683 00:33:23,448 --> 00:33:25,509 What the bloody hell is going on, Dill? 684 00:33:25,609 --> 00:33:28,069 - It's not my night. - Make it your night. 685 00:33:28,169 --> 00:33:30,829 - You're better than these twats. - Look, mate, I can't focus. 686 00:33:30,929 --> 00:33:33,790 No, no, no. You're losing a lot of money, sweetheart. 687 00:33:33,890 --> 00:33:36,711 And more importantly, yeah, you're losing a lot of my money. 688 00:33:36,811 --> 00:33:41,111 - What do you want me to say? - Nothing exists outside of this room, Dylan. 689 00:33:41,211 --> 00:33:44,112 Now, sit the fuck back down and do what you do best. 690 00:33:44,212 --> 00:33:46,212 All right? 691 00:33:47,252 --> 00:33:49,253 There's a good lad. 692 00:33:50,973 --> 00:33:54,914 ♪ Wild boys, never losing 693 00:33:55,014 --> 00:33:58,534 ♪ Wild boys never chose this way 694 00:33:59,574 --> 00:34:03,395 ♪ Wild boys, never close your eyes 695 00:34:03,495 --> 00:34:07,796 ♪ Wild boys always... 696 00:34:07,896 --> 00:34:09,916 Sing it. 697 00:34:10,016 --> 00:34:11,717 ♪ Shine! 698 00:34:11,817 --> 00:34:13,817 You know it! You know it! 699 00:34:20,498 --> 00:34:22,158 Oh, hey... 700 00:34:22,258 --> 00:34:24,259 How's it going, mate? 701 00:34:26,059 --> 00:34:28,760 - Where am I? - Oh, I've had to take you out for a bit. 702 00:34:28,860 --> 00:34:31,240 But I'm sorry, I'm going to take you home now. 703 00:34:31,340 --> 00:34:33,280 Do you live there? 704 00:34:33,380 --> 00:34:36,801 - I live there. - Can I go inside? 705 00:34:36,901 --> 00:34:39,121 No, not really. I've got to get you home, dude. 706 00:34:39,221 --> 00:34:41,722 - Please. - There's a fat, bald monster in there. 707 00:34:41,822 --> 00:34:44,022 - You're not going to like it. - Oh, please. 708 00:34:49,103 --> 00:34:50,843 Yeah, go on. Five minutes. 709 00:34:50,943 --> 00:34:53,344 We're not staying long, you know? 710 00:34:54,984 --> 00:34:57,125 So, this is home, is it? 711 00:34:57,225 --> 00:34:58,565 For now, yeah. 712 00:34:58,665 --> 00:35:01,465 Let's just say it doesn't feature in the masterplan. 713 00:35:02,625 --> 00:35:04,086 It looks all right. 714 00:35:04,186 --> 00:35:08,647 There's thousands of towns like this all over the country, getting by. 715 00:35:08,747 --> 00:35:12,527 No-one gives a shit about them until it turns into the Wild West. 716 00:35:12,627 --> 00:35:15,968 But I want my son to know different. Do you know what I mean? 717 00:35:16,068 --> 00:35:17,768 Do you fancy continuing 718 00:35:17,868 --> 00:35:21,129 this dissection of societal disintegration over a pint? 719 00:35:21,229 --> 00:35:23,229 You're not easily put off, are you? 720 00:35:25,509 --> 00:35:27,090 No, I need to get back. 721 00:35:27,190 --> 00:35:29,270 Dylan's looking after Tyler. 722 00:35:30,270 --> 00:35:32,851 You've got a boyfriend, you've got a son. 723 00:35:32,951 --> 00:35:34,951 So, best friends? 724 00:35:37,352 --> 00:35:39,452 - All right, one pint. One. - Mm. 725 00:35:39,552 --> 00:35:42,812 Aren't you scared being out here on your own at night? 726 00:35:42,912 --> 00:35:44,533 No. Am I heck. 727 00:35:44,633 --> 00:35:46,813 I love being out here in the woods. 728 00:35:46,913 --> 00:35:49,934 The woods is the only place I can get a bit of bloody peace. 729 00:35:50,034 --> 00:35:52,614 - Can I bring my mummy? - Of course you can. 730 00:35:52,714 --> 00:35:55,275 You can bring her any time you want. Yeah. Of course. 731 00:35:56,555 --> 00:35:59,335 My mum can bounce an egg on her head. 732 00:35:59,435 --> 00:36:01,016 - Can she really? - Yes. 733 00:36:01,116 --> 00:36:03,216 No, she can't. Can she really? 734 00:36:03,316 --> 00:36:06,377 My God, that's some bloody skill, isn't it? I can't. 735 00:36:06,477 --> 00:36:08,477 I love your mum. 736 00:36:11,597 --> 00:36:13,978 She's an egg-traordinary woman. 737 00:36:14,078 --> 00:36:15,498 (Tyler laughs) 738 00:36:15,598 --> 00:36:19,079 - What's your mum like? - My mum, she's not around any more. 739 00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:22,859 - Is she dead? - No, she's not dead. 740 00:36:22,959 --> 00:36:26,100 - She just went away when I was little. - Like my dad? 741 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,200 Yeah. Yeah. 742 00:36:29,241 --> 00:36:31,521 Even though I hope she'll come back, you know. 743 00:36:34,201 --> 00:36:36,482 I think that's why I stay in this town. 744 00:36:40,442 --> 00:36:42,023 So that, if she does come back, 745 00:36:42,123 --> 00:36:44,123 you know, she might know where to find me, you see. 746 00:36:50,764 --> 00:36:52,865 I like the funny dog. 747 00:36:52,965 --> 00:36:55,085 Oh, thanks. 748 00:36:57,245 --> 00:36:59,246 It's an owl. 749 00:37:00,646 --> 00:37:02,546 Are you all right, Kath? 750 00:37:02,646 --> 00:37:05,227 Can I have a pint of lager and a pint of Guinness, please? 751 00:37:05,327 --> 00:37:08,307 - For your new fella? - No, he's a college mate. 752 00:37:08,407 --> 00:37:10,548 I believe you. Thousands wouldn't. 753 00:37:10,648 --> 00:37:15,189 Mind you, it'd be a bold move bringing your fancy man in your own local. 754 00:37:15,289 --> 00:37:17,289 Especially with them lot all upstairs. 755 00:37:18,849 --> 00:37:21,610 - What lot? - Poker game. Dylan's in there. 756 00:37:33,132 --> 00:37:35,132 Wanker! 757 00:37:40,613 --> 00:37:42,433 Erin! Erin! 758 00:37:42,533 --> 00:37:45,874 Erin, wait! Erin! Tyler's fine. 759 00:37:45,974 --> 00:37:48,174 Vinnie's looking after him. He's safe at home. 760 00:37:51,455 --> 00:37:53,655 Do you want to buy some chloroform? 761 00:37:57,856 --> 00:37:59,636 Vinnie's looking after him! 762 00:37:59,736 --> 00:38:02,737 ♪ And when I sleep, I sleep alone 763 00:38:06,497 --> 00:38:12,979 ♪ Alone 764 00:38:14,619 --> 00:38:18,740 ♪ Alone... ♪ 765 00:38:26,261 --> 00:38:27,761 Good evening? 766 00:38:27,861 --> 00:38:29,361 Shit. 767 00:38:29,461 --> 00:38:31,042 You? 768 00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:33,742 - Terrible. - What happened? 769 00:38:38,343 --> 00:38:40,343 - Vinnie. - Erin. 770 00:38:41,544 --> 00:38:43,364 Thanks for minding him for me. 771 00:38:43,464 --> 00:38:45,464 Oh, it's my pleasure. 772 00:38:46,865 --> 00:38:49,345 - Can we have a minute? - (He scoffs) 773 00:38:54,346 --> 00:38:56,566 Listen, it's my fault, you know. I shouldn't have... 774 00:38:56,666 --> 00:38:57,846 It's not, it's not. 775 00:38:57,946 --> 00:39:00,147 It's his, cos he listens to you. 776 00:39:02,187 --> 00:39:04,228 There's three of us in this, isn't there? 777 00:39:05,548 --> 00:39:07,248 In this relationship. 778 00:39:07,348 --> 00:39:09,728 Well, if there is, I'm the one getting the least sex. 779 00:39:09,828 --> 00:39:11,249 (He laughs) 780 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:12,929 (He clears his throat) 781 00:39:13,029 --> 00:39:15,029 I'm not saying it's you or me, Vin, OK? 782 00:39:15,670 --> 00:39:17,290 I'll never make that threat. 783 00:39:17,390 --> 00:39:21,030 But one day soon, I will leave with Tyler and I won't be coming back. 784 00:39:22,351 --> 00:39:24,951 And he needs to decide what life he wants. 785 00:39:34,193 --> 00:39:37,213 I'm glad to see you're both awake. How are you feeling? 786 00:39:37,313 --> 00:39:39,394 - Terrible. - Heartbroken. 787 00:39:40,714 --> 00:39:43,454 - Nigel. - Never mind bloody Nigel. 788 00:39:43,554 --> 00:39:46,855 Honest to God, he's a bird. And he's free now, so just be happy for him. 789 00:39:46,955 --> 00:39:50,296 - Fucking chloroform! - It's his st-st-stupid fault. 790 00:39:50,396 --> 00:39:53,096 If he'd let me use it on the horse, none of this would have happened. 791 00:39:53,196 --> 00:39:55,296 - Oh, it's my fault! - When are they gonna let you out? 792 00:39:55,396 --> 00:39:57,897 In a few days. Apparently, it takes a while to leave the system. 793 00:39:57,997 --> 00:39:59,897 But you know what they say about convalescence. 794 00:39:59,997 --> 00:40:01,538 - Fresh air. - Here's your sack. 795 00:40:01,638 --> 00:40:02,738 No! 796 00:40:02,838 --> 00:40:04,218 Get off me! No! 797 00:40:04,318 --> 00:40:05,738 No! 798 00:40:05,838 --> 00:40:07,839 No, no, get off me! 799 00:40:20,681 --> 00:40:22,701 ♪ Big tings running through my mind 800 00:40:22,801 --> 00:40:25,302 ♪ I think about them all the time 801 00:40:25,402 --> 00:40:27,902 ♪ I'm gonna do my ting The way I wanna do it 802 00:40:28,002 --> 00:40:29,942 ♪ And everything will be all right 803 00:40:30,042 --> 00:40:32,943 ♪ Big tings burning up my soul 804 00:40:33,043 --> 00:40:35,183 ♪ I think I'm about to lose control 805 00:40:35,283 --> 00:40:38,104 ♪ Do I tell myself That I can get through it? 806 00:40:38,204 --> 00:40:40,204 ♪ Maybe I'll never know 807 00:40:40,644 --> 00:40:43,065 ♪ Big tings all in my brain 808 00:40:43,165 --> 00:40:44,585 ♪ Big tings got me again 809 00:40:44,685 --> 00:40:46,685 ♪ Oh-oh 810 00:40:48,126 --> 00:40:50,126 ♪ Oh-oh 811 00:40:50,726 --> 00:40:53,147 ♪ Big tings gonna have their way 812 00:40:53,247 --> 00:40:55,627 ♪ I think about them every day 813 00:40:55,727 --> 00:40:58,067 ♪ Do I step inside And enjoy the ride? 814 00:40:58,167 --> 00:41:00,268 ♪ To hell with what people say... ♪ 815 00:41:00,368 --> 00:41:01,868 Your pony's a cunt. 816 00:41:01,968 --> 00:41:04,568 Your pony's a cunt. 817 00:41:16,291 --> 00:41:18,291 Vincent O'Neill? 818 00:41:22,852 --> 00:41:25,552 - Who's asking? - Terence McCann. 819 00:41:25,652 --> 00:41:27,733 He wants to discuss small horses. 820 00:41:29,253 --> 00:41:31,913 You must have the wrong lad. I don't know what you're talking about. 821 00:41:32,013 --> 00:41:33,554 Have it your way. 822 00:41:33,654 --> 00:41:35,514 But a word to the wise. 823 00:41:35,614 --> 00:41:37,774 He's not a man to make an enemy of. 824 00:41:41,255 --> 00:41:44,275 VINNIE: Sometimes it's only later, when you look back, 825 00:41:44,375 --> 00:41:46,496 you realise when the turning point came. 826 00:41:47,736 --> 00:41:50,076 The moment in your life when everything changed. 827 00:41:50,176 --> 00:41:51,597 For me. 828 00:41:51,697 --> 00:41:53,277 For us. 829 00:41:53,377 --> 00:41:54,837 Christ, for all of us. 830 00:41:54,937 --> 00:41:57,558 It was stealing a blond Shetland pony 831 00:41:57,658 --> 00:41:59,698 for a xenophobic farmer. 832 00:42:24,742 --> 00:42:27,783 ♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind 833 00:42:28,823 --> 00:42:31,424 ♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind 834 00:42:33,224 --> 00:42:35,424 ♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind. ♪ 64561

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