All language subtitles for Mark.Mary.Some.Other.People.2021.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,493 --> 00:00:15,298 [upbeat pop music] 2 00:00:15,371 --> 00:00:20,023 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 3 00:00:22,971 --> 00:00:27,876 ♪ Baby, baby, I'm taken with the notion ♪ 4 00:00:28,243 --> 00:00:30,045 ♪ To love you with the sweetest ♪ 5 00:00:30,079 --> 00:00:32,013 - [cellphone chimes] - Doritos versus Fritos, 6 00:00:32,047 --> 00:00:33,816 calories, question mark. 7 00:00:34,149 --> 00:00:36,352 [Girl] Um, you could just read the bag. 8 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,687 [Siri] Do you want protein and fiber information? 9 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,355 Mary. 10 00:00:40,389 --> 00:00:42,525 [Siri] I didn't understand that. Did you say Mary? 11 00:00:42,557 --> 00:00:44,060 Uh. 12 00:00:44,093 --> 00:00:44,794 Hey, 13 00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:47,996 you, hey, you. 14 00:00:48,030 --> 00:00:49,032 What's up? 15 00:00:49,997 --> 00:00:50,932 You don't remember me? 16 00:00:52,768 --> 00:00:54,704 Uh, I'm so sorry. I don't. 17 00:00:54,737 --> 00:00:55,871 I need a hint. 18 00:00:56,171 --> 00:00:57,573 College? 19 00:00:57,606 --> 00:00:58,941 Oh, um. 20 00:01:00,609 --> 00:01:01,977 Michael? 21 00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:02,811 No. 22 00:01:02,844 --> 00:01:03,813 Keaton? 23 00:01:03,845 --> 00:01:05,113 - No. - No? 24 00:01:05,147 --> 00:01:06,415 - No. - Fuck. 25 00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:07,615 I feel so bad. I'm sorry. 26 00:01:07,649 --> 00:01:08,817 It's okay, don't. 27 00:01:08,849 --> 00:01:11,086 We talked that one time at that Undie-Run for charity thing, 28 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,987 and you showed up fully clothed, 29 00:01:13,021 --> 00:01:14,823 and I was only in my boxers, and you were like, 30 00:01:14,856 --> 00:01:17,492 "This whole event reeks of toxic masculinity." 31 00:01:17,525 --> 00:01:19,762 And then you pointed out how all the guys' nipples 32 00:01:19,795 --> 00:01:21,664 were getting hard because it was cold out, 33 00:01:21,697 --> 00:01:23,832 and you never thought about male nipples getting hard 34 00:01:23,865 --> 00:01:25,367 or pointy or whatever. 35 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,868 And I was all like, "Don't look at my nipples," 36 00:01:26,902 --> 00:01:28,037 or somethin'. 37 00:01:29,103 --> 00:01:30,472 Um. 38 00:01:31,239 --> 00:01:33,042 And then we bridged that to how "Lord of the Flies" 39 00:01:33,075 --> 00:01:34,710 is really overrated, how it shouldn't 40 00:01:34,742 --> 00:01:35,744 - be mandatory reading- - Oh, um. 41 00:01:35,778 --> 00:01:36,879 [Guy] for little kids. 42 00:01:36,912 --> 00:01:38,047 Uh, Mark. 43 00:01:38,079 --> 00:01:38,947 Yes. 44 00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,448 Mark Kenneth Samson. 45 00:01:40,481 --> 00:01:41,450 [Mark] There ya go. 46 00:01:41,483 --> 00:01:42,484 The three-first-names guy. 47 00:01:42,518 --> 00:01:43,118 How are ya? 48 00:01:43,152 --> 00:01:45,487 Okay. [laughs] 49 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,890 You look different. 50 00:01:47,923 --> 00:01:49,924 Yeah, I lost some weight or toned up or whatever. 51 00:01:49,957 --> 00:01:51,025 I started going to the gym. 52 00:01:51,058 --> 00:01:51,793 You weren't fat. 53 00:01:52,995 --> 00:01:54,630 No, I know. I know. 54 00:01:55,831 --> 00:01:56,832 I know. 55 00:01:59,935 --> 00:02:01,003 Well... 56 00:02:01,804 --> 00:02:03,906 [soft music] 57 00:02:08,943 --> 00:02:09,845 Hey again. 58 00:02:11,747 --> 00:02:12,848 Do I know you? 59 00:02:12,881 --> 00:02:13,983 [Mark] Ha-ha. 60 00:02:14,015 --> 00:02:16,985 [Mary chuckles] 61 00:02:17,019 --> 00:02:19,622 Uh, this isn't for me. 62 00:02:19,655 --> 00:02:20,756 Cool. 63 00:02:20,788 --> 00:02:21,990 I wasn't even... 64 00:02:22,024 --> 00:02:24,794 It doesn't matter who it's for. [laughs] 65 00:02:24,826 --> 00:02:25,661 [Mary] Hi. 66 00:02:28,997 --> 00:02:30,032 Um. 67 00:02:33,468 --> 00:02:34,971 Hey, do you wanna get a smoothie? 68 00:02:35,837 --> 00:02:38,941 There's this really good smoothie place near here. 69 00:02:38,973 --> 00:02:41,476 [mellow music] 70 00:02:43,479 --> 00:02:44,914 It's funny, my dad and I, 71 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:47,483 we actually are in the process of making those things. 72 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:48,683 Making what? 73 00:02:49,651 --> 00:02:51,020 Pregnancy tests. 74 00:02:51,052 --> 00:02:52,987 People already make them. Why would you make them? 75 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:55,156 Well, ours use your spit instead of your urine. 76 00:02:55,189 --> 00:02:56,825 And they can tell you if you're ovulating. 77 00:02:56,859 --> 00:02:58,194 It's less invasive. 78 00:02:58,227 --> 00:02:59,962 Yeah, but there's no way that's accurate, right? 79 00:02:59,995 --> 00:03:02,698 Like, you just spit into a little cup or something, 80 00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:04,532 tells you if you've created life? 81 00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:06,769 Is that any weirder than peeing on a stick? 82 00:03:07,401 --> 00:03:08,603 Why aren't they all like that then? 83 00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:11,240 Good opportunities come from things that don't exist yet, 84 00:03:11,272 --> 00:03:13,442 you know, things people don't realize they want. 85 00:03:15,544 --> 00:03:16,579 It is for me. 86 00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:18,914 Oh. 87 00:03:18,947 --> 00:03:19,882 [Mary] Yeah. 88 00:03:21,582 --> 00:03:22,818 Well, that answers that, I guess. 89 00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:23,819 [Mary] Answers what? 90 00:03:25,187 --> 00:03:27,088 I was wanna ask if you're taken. 91 00:03:27,122 --> 00:03:29,191 I'm single, technically. 92 00:03:29,223 --> 00:03:31,893 [Mark] What do you want it to be, one line or two lines? 93 00:03:31,926 --> 00:03:33,561 They need to make the results more clearer, 94 00:03:33,594 --> 00:03:35,631 like baby or no baby. 95 00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,265 I know, it's like, 96 00:03:37,299 --> 00:03:38,334 this is one of the most important moments in someone's life, 97 00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:40,635 and these companies decide to make it confusing. 98 00:03:40,669 --> 00:03:41,871 You know what's really crazy, though, 99 00:03:41,903 --> 00:03:43,739 is that I could be pregnant right now, 100 00:03:43,771 --> 00:03:44,906 and nobody would be surprised. 101 00:03:44,939 --> 00:03:45,841 What do you mean? 102 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,610 Do you think people think you're a slut or- 103 00:03:47,643 --> 00:03:48,676 - No. 104 00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:50,045 - What? - What? 105 00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:51,680 No. 106 00:03:51,712 --> 00:03:53,081 - No? - No. 107 00:03:53,115 --> 00:03:54,250 [Mark stammers] 108 00:03:54,282 --> 00:03:56,684 I'm at the right age to have a kid. 109 00:03:56,717 --> 00:03:59,621 And if I was in Arkansas, I'd be considered late. 110 00:03:59,655 --> 00:04:01,956 It feels like two seconds ago that if I got pregnant, 111 00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:03,158 it would be anarchy. 112 00:04:03,191 --> 00:04:04,659 And then super fuckin' soon after that, 113 00:04:04,693 --> 00:04:06,128 your kid could come out on that spectrum, 114 00:04:06,161 --> 00:04:07,930 so that's something you have to weigh. 115 00:04:07,962 --> 00:04:09,965 Then you're just counting down the days you have left, 116 00:04:09,997 --> 00:04:13,668 because you're no longer viable to, like, the earth. 117 00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:15,069 I guess. You're really young. 118 00:04:15,103 --> 00:04:17,939 Your femininity doesn't die at menopause. 119 00:04:17,973 --> 00:04:19,307 It dies the moment you're no longer able 120 00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:20,576 to safely reproduce. 121 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,978 And it sucks so much dick. 122 00:04:24,245 --> 00:04:26,080 That pesky biological clock. 123 00:04:26,113 --> 00:04:28,683 You don't even have to think about any of this shit, ever. 124 00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:31,052 Hey, don't blame me, okay. I'm one of the good ones. 125 00:04:31,086 --> 00:04:32,888 You know, I went to the Women's March. 126 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,689 I went to two Women's Marches, actually. 127 00:04:34,723 --> 00:04:35,625 I went to two of 'em. 128 00:04:36,692 --> 00:04:39,629 [keystrokes tapping] 129 00:04:41,129 --> 00:04:44,600 Sorry, I was just thinking that Biological Cock 130 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,134 would be a good band name, and I didn't wanna forget it. 131 00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:47,603 Are you in a band? 132 00:04:47,636 --> 00:04:48,903 Yeah, we're called Butter Cunt right now, 133 00:04:48,937 --> 00:04:50,706 but we're always looking for something better. 134 00:04:50,738 --> 00:04:51,639 Can you make money from that? 135 00:04:51,673 --> 00:04:52,942 Oh, no. 136 00:04:52,975 --> 00:04:55,177 Look, I, I don't really make money either. 137 00:04:55,209 --> 00:04:56,711 First five years of a company, 138 00:04:56,745 --> 00:04:58,247 you can't break even, et cetera, et cetera. 139 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:01,849 How'd you and your parents get into this saliva biz? 140 00:05:01,882 --> 00:05:04,218 My parents are divorced, so it's me and my dad's thing. 141 00:05:04,252 --> 00:05:06,922 But yeah, it's plastics manufacturing. 142 00:05:06,954 --> 00:05:09,057 - What's your mom do? - What's your mom do? 143 00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,593 You're gonna ask me what my mom does 144 00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:11,960 before you ask me what I do? 145 00:05:11,994 --> 00:05:14,029 Can I just say, I feel like you got a lot of rules. 146 00:05:14,062 --> 00:05:15,264 Mm, not really. 147 00:05:15,297 --> 00:05:16,799 Let someone come inside me, 148 00:05:16,831 --> 00:05:18,134 which is the reason we're here now. 149 00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:22,103 Okay. What do you do? 150 00:05:22,137 --> 00:05:25,341 Like voiceover stuff for, like, random businesses 151 00:05:25,374 --> 00:05:27,910 and commercials and whatever. 152 00:05:27,942 --> 00:05:29,277 Like what? Can I hear some? 153 00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:31,879 Mark Kenneth Samson, would you like to purchase 154 00:05:31,913 --> 00:05:34,617 a subscription to "Mind, Body, and Soul"? 155 00:05:34,649 --> 00:05:35,383 Uh-huh. 156 00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:37,685 [both laugh] 157 00:05:37,718 --> 00:05:38,920 I also clean houses. 158 00:05:38,954 --> 00:05:40,055 I also walk dogs. 159 00:05:41,656 --> 00:05:43,858 [both laugh] 160 00:05:47,362 --> 00:05:50,299 Is it not cool for me to ask for your number right now? 161 00:05:50,331 --> 00:05:51,634 'Cause I want to. 162 00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:52,767 I should probably find out 163 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,202 if I'm knocked out first, right? 164 00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:55,303 Mm, that makes a ton of sense. 165 00:05:55,336 --> 00:05:56,671 Should I do it now? 166 00:06:06,982 --> 00:06:09,352 [door rattling] 167 00:06:11,019 --> 00:06:11,887 So? 168 00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:14,389 I didn't do it yet. 169 00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:16,792 Can you come in here with me for moral support? 170 00:06:16,824 --> 00:06:18,060 While you pee? 171 00:06:18,093 --> 00:06:19,228 Yeah. 172 00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:20,362 That's a little- 173 00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:21,363 - Don't make it weird. 174 00:06:23,398 --> 00:06:24,366 It's a little weird. 175 00:06:24,399 --> 00:06:27,769 [water sloshing] 176 00:06:27,802 --> 00:06:31,339 Oh. [chuckles] 177 00:06:31,372 --> 00:06:33,074 Oh man, you like to stay hydrated, huh? 178 00:06:34,442 --> 00:06:35,209 [Mary] I said, don't make it weird. 179 00:06:35,242 --> 00:06:36,077 Sorry, sorry. 180 00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:42,651 [toilet flushes] 181 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:47,423 [both sigh] 182 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:49,792 Now what? 183 00:06:50,925 --> 00:06:51,926 We wait. 184 00:06:54,129 --> 00:06:55,330 For how long? 185 00:06:55,362 --> 00:06:56,964 Three minutes. Why don't you know that? 186 00:06:56,997 --> 00:06:58,099 I feel like you should know that. 187 00:06:58,132 --> 00:06:59,100 I do know that. I know. 188 00:07:01,103 --> 00:07:03,204 [Mark sighs] 189 00:07:08,877 --> 00:07:10,345 [both laugh] 190 00:07:10,377 --> 00:07:13,415 Do you wanna sing me a song? 191 00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:15,951 What song? 192 00:07:15,983 --> 00:07:17,351 Make one up. You're an inventor. 193 00:07:17,384 --> 00:07:19,087 You're the singer. 194 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,255 I'm in distress. 195 00:07:22,891 --> 00:07:24,492 [Mark laughs] 196 00:07:24,526 --> 00:07:25,728 Come on. 197 00:07:25,761 --> 00:07:27,196 Okay, okay, okay. 198 00:07:29,297 --> 00:07:30,265 ♪ Baby ♪ 199 00:07:30,298 --> 00:07:31,065 Don't start it with baby. 200 00:07:31,098 --> 00:07:33,000 Shit. 201 00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:35,803 ♪ You're the girl in the bathroom ♪ 202 00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:37,206 ♪ But also the girl from college ♪ 203 00:07:37,238 --> 00:07:38,339 No, no, distract. 204 00:07:38,372 --> 00:07:39,942 Poetic, please. 205 00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:43,946 ♪ And the opposite of a baby is an old person ♪ 206 00:07:43,978 --> 00:07:45,079 ♪ Yeah, the elderly ♪ 207 00:07:45,112 --> 00:07:46,814 Maybe try singing louder, 208 00:07:46,848 --> 00:07:49,318 like really, really loud. ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 209 00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:51,853 Do it louder. ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 210 00:07:51,887 --> 00:07:55,324 Really fuckin' loud. ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 211 00:07:55,357 --> 00:07:56,492 [Mark laughs] Keep going! 212 00:07:56,524 --> 00:07:59,227 [Mark vocalizing musically] 213 00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,362 ♪ Ooh yeah ♪ Yes! 214 00:08:00,394 --> 00:08:01,764 ♪ You better wash your hands ♪ 215 00:08:01,797 --> 00:08:02,998 ♪ When you're done in the bathroom ♪ 216 00:08:03,031 --> 00:08:04,132 ♪ Better wash your hands when you're ♪ 217 00:08:04,165 --> 00:08:04,800 ♪ Done in they bathroom ♪ We're gonna get kicked out. 218 00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:06,401 ♪ No, those are the rules ♪ 219 00:08:06,434 --> 00:08:07,369 Worth it! 220 00:08:07,401 --> 00:08:10,772 [Mark vocalizing musically] 221 00:08:10,805 --> 00:08:12,206 [laughs] This is helpful? 222 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,341 - This is helping? - Yes, continue. 223 00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:16,144 [Mark vocalizing musically] Louder! 224 00:08:16,177 --> 00:08:17,312 Hit the high note! 225 00:08:17,345 --> 00:08:21,817 [Mark vocalizing theatrically] 226 00:08:21,850 --> 00:08:24,186 [high note echoes] 227 00:08:24,218 --> 00:08:26,988 [clock ticking] 228 00:08:29,456 --> 00:08:30,425 Okay. 229 00:08:32,927 --> 00:08:34,496 You can have my number. 230 00:08:36,464 --> 00:08:39,401 [mellow bassy music] 231 00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:49,812 [moves to mellow dreamy music] 232 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,363 ♪ I can feel your shadow ♪ 233 00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:09,897 ♪ I just wanna be ♪ 234 00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,400 [camera clicks] Oh, you can't, 235 00:09:11,432 --> 00:09:12,433 you can't take photos. 236 00:09:12,466 --> 00:09:13,269 Oh, yeah. 237 00:09:16,437 --> 00:09:18,173 Uh? 238 00:09:18,206 --> 00:09:19,575 Different kind of service. 239 00:09:19,607 --> 00:09:21,209 Can we go back to the other thing? 240 00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:22,411 Dusting. 241 00:09:24,011 --> 00:09:27,281 ♪ I can't fight the world's battles ♪ 242 00:09:27,315 --> 00:09:30,252 ♪ I just wanna be next to you ♪ 243 00:09:30,284 --> 00:09:33,389 ♪ Wanna be next to you ♪ 244 00:09:35,056 --> 00:09:36,225 [Mark] What's this one? 245 00:09:36,258 --> 00:09:37,426 [Mary] Shark fin. 246 00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:39,093 Why a shark fin? 247 00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:41,229 You know, like, keep moving. 248 00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:43,999 What about 249 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,269 this one? 250 00:09:47,302 --> 00:09:51,139 Just a drunken squiggle from my high school boyfriend. 251 00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:52,074 Hmm. 252 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,643 What about this one? 253 00:09:54,676 --> 00:09:57,512 Squiggle from my high school girlfriend. 254 00:09:57,544 --> 00:09:59,280 Your high school experience 255 00:09:59,313 --> 00:10:00,514 was a lot more active than mine. 256 00:10:00,548 --> 00:10:04,320 [laughs] My favorite one's the mouse trap. 257 00:10:06,321 --> 00:10:08,423 I like this David Bowie one. 258 00:10:08,456 --> 00:10:10,459 That's my mom, actually. 259 00:10:10,491 --> 00:10:12,360 She passed away. 260 00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,028 A lot of people think that though. 261 00:10:14,062 --> 00:10:16,130 She had a really androgynous face. 262 00:10:21,336 --> 00:10:23,371 Do you have any? 263 00:10:23,404 --> 00:10:25,606 Never felt like I knew the right thing to get. 264 00:10:25,639 --> 00:10:27,074 Or, like, if I like something, 265 00:10:27,107 --> 00:10:28,409 I could just frame a picture of it. 266 00:10:28,442 --> 00:10:30,077 Yeah. 267 00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:33,948 [mellow dreamy music continues] 268 00:10:39,586 --> 00:10:43,258 ♪ This life is such a mystery ♪ 269 00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:46,128 ♪ But I don't feel so fucked up ♪ 270 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,564 ♪ As long as I'm next to you ♪ 271 00:10:56,236 --> 00:10:58,072 Let's do this. 272 00:10:58,105 --> 00:11:00,942 Do you, Mark Kenneth Samson, 273 00:11:00,975 --> 00:11:03,644 take Mary Lewis to be your wife 274 00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:06,314 to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live? 275 00:11:07,615 --> 00:11:09,183 I do. 276 00:11:09,216 --> 00:11:10,117 [Mary laughs] 277 00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:11,620 And do you, Mary Lewis, 278 00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:15,490 take Mark Kenneth Samson to be your husband 279 00:11:15,523 --> 00:11:18,360 to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live? 280 00:11:18,393 --> 00:11:19,661 Hell yeah, I do. 281 00:11:19,693 --> 00:11:22,596 [light bubbly music] 282 00:11:22,629 --> 00:11:24,232 You may now kiss the bride. 283 00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:28,971 Wait. Why isn't it, you may now kiss the groom? 284 00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,238 Seriously? 285 00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:31,272 Why does the guy get to initiate the kiss 286 00:11:31,306 --> 00:11:33,108 for all of eternity? 287 00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:35,343 That's some archaic, repressed bullshit. 288 00:11:35,376 --> 00:11:37,011 Please just let me kiss you, Mary. 289 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,245 Look, I have a script 290 00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:39,447 that I'm not supposed to deviate from. 291 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:40,548 Well, deviate. 292 00:11:40,581 --> 00:11:43,485 [officiant sighs] 293 00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:45,120 Okay. 294 00:11:45,153 --> 00:11:47,055 Uh, you may now kiss the groom, I guess. 295 00:11:47,087 --> 00:11:47,722 Sick. 296 00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:51,759 [laid-back bassy music] 297 00:11:51,793 --> 00:11:56,697 ♪ Oh baby ♪ 298 00:11:56,730 --> 00:12:01,703 ♪ Oh man ♪ 299 00:12:02,203 --> 00:12:07,208 ♪ You're makin' me crazy ♪ 300 00:12:07,241 --> 00:12:12,480 ♪ Really drivin' me mad ♪ 301 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:17,619 ♪ But that's all right with me ♪ 302 00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:21,423 ♪ It's really no fuss ♪ 303 00:12:21,456 --> 00:12:23,091 [cork pops] Ooh. 304 00:12:23,124 --> 00:12:26,695 ♪ As long as you're next to me ♪ 305 00:12:28,328 --> 00:12:29,497 [both imitate explosion] ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 306 00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:30,564 Take one. 307 00:12:30,597 --> 00:12:33,267 [Mary groans] 308 00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:34,469 No! 309 00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:35,302 [Mark shouts] [Mary groans] 310 00:12:35,336 --> 00:12:39,474 ♪ You're my, my, my ♪ 311 00:12:39,506 --> 00:12:42,476 ♪ My kind of woman ♪ 312 00:12:42,509 --> 00:12:44,479 [Mary gurgles] 313 00:12:44,511 --> 00:12:46,247 [Mark grunts] 314 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:50,484 ♪ My, my, my ♪ 315 00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:55,324 ♪ My kind of woman ♪ 316 00:12:56,791 --> 00:12:59,561 ♪ And I'm down on my hands and knees ♪ 317 00:12:59,594 --> 00:13:01,797 ♪ Beggin' you please, baby ♪ 318 00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:04,767 ♪ Show me your world ♪ 319 00:13:10,605 --> 00:13:11,505 [Mark cooing] 320 00:13:11,538 --> 00:13:13,375 ♪ Oh baby ♪ 321 00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:18,547 - No, come here. - No! 322 00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:21,615 Yeah, Jesus, what have you been thinkin' about? 323 00:13:21,649 --> 00:13:24,719 [Mark groans] ♪ I'm feelin' so tired ♪ 324 00:13:24,751 --> 00:13:26,487 [cellphone beeping] 325 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:29,625 ♪ Really fallin' apart ♪ 326 00:13:30,591 --> 00:13:33,327 [toilet flushes] 327 00:13:34,828 --> 00:13:37,198 This is Mary Lewis, take one. 328 00:13:37,231 --> 00:13:40,367 Suffering from a dry or itchy vagina? 329 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:44,105 It may be a syndrome called menopause vaginal dryness. 330 00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:46,307 A lubricant may be for you. 331 00:13:46,341 --> 00:13:50,611 Try our All Natural Wild Yam Vaginal Moisturizing Gel today. 332 00:13:50,644 --> 00:13:54,283 Currently available in 1.5 to 3 ounces. 333 00:13:58,352 --> 00:14:00,088 It's crazy how fast it all feels. 334 00:14:01,788 --> 00:14:04,492 I had no idea I was gonna love her this much. 335 00:14:04,525 --> 00:14:05,526 She's amazing. 336 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:06,627 So sick, man. 337 00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:08,129 That's cool. 338 00:14:08,163 --> 00:14:10,731 Yeah, I feel expanded. 339 00:14:10,764 --> 00:14:12,766 She makes me feel like a human rubber band 340 00:14:12,799 --> 00:14:13,835 that's just like, [imitates rubber band squeaking]. 341 00:14:15,436 --> 00:14:16,471 Yeah, I don't think I could ever get married. 342 00:14:16,504 --> 00:14:18,273 Fuck. 343 00:14:18,306 --> 00:14:20,609 Am I the only one workin' out? I'm done. 344 00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:21,843 I just don't see the point in it. 345 00:14:21,875 --> 00:14:23,644 I mean, it seems purely financial, 346 00:14:23,677 --> 00:14:25,813 and financially, it usually fucks you. 347 00:14:25,846 --> 00:14:28,350 Probably fucks you more than your wife does. 348 00:14:28,383 --> 00:14:29,783 That's funny, man. 349 00:14:29,817 --> 00:14:30,751 You guys probably just feel like that 350 00:14:30,784 --> 00:14:32,487 because you haven't met someone like Mary. 351 00:14:34,254 --> 00:14:35,624 You haven't found your Mary. 352 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:36,825 You sound kind of faggy, Mark. 353 00:14:36,857 --> 00:14:37,725 - Whoa! - Dude. 354 00:14:37,759 --> 00:14:38,927 - No. - Not cool. 355 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,163 - What? - You can't say that. 356 00:14:41,196 --> 00:14:42,564 Yes, I can, I'm bi. I can say whatever I want. 357 00:14:42,596 --> 00:14:44,198 We are in a public place. 358 00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:47,368 Don't care if you're bi, you can't just say [mumbles]. 359 00:14:47,402 --> 00:14:48,336 [Kyle] What was that? 360 00:14:48,369 --> 00:14:49,638 You can't say [mumbles]. 361 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,573 We have reclaimed the word faggot. 362 00:14:51,605 --> 00:14:53,674 [groans] Fuckin' stop it. 363 00:14:53,707 --> 00:14:55,610 I'm not calling you a faggot, faggot. 364 00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:57,512 Stop. Stop saying it. 365 00:14:57,544 --> 00:14:58,812 Stop saying it. Stop calling me it. 366 00:14:58,846 --> 00:14:59,748 [Kyle] Did I just call him a faggot? 367 00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:01,582 Just L-G-Be a better person. 368 00:15:03,217 --> 00:15:04,218 You're such a faggot. 369 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,556 How's Mary's sister doin' these days? 370 00:15:07,589 --> 00:15:08,857 Is she tryin' to fuck? 371 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:12,561 We are Unnecessary Colonoscopy! 372 00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:14,629 One, two, three, four! 373 00:15:14,662 --> 00:15:18,500 [gritty music] ♪ Ooh ♪ 374 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:22,370 ♪ Ooh ♪ 375 00:15:22,403 --> 00:15:26,274 ♪ Ooh ♪ 376 00:15:26,307 --> 00:15:29,978 ♪ Ooh ♪ 377 00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:33,814 ♪ Miss Narcissist, she's a thief ♪ 378 00:15:33,847 --> 00:15:37,718 ♪ Sucks out all the energy ♪ 379 00:15:37,751 --> 00:15:40,921 ♪ So long, my hostility ♪ 380 00:15:40,955 --> 00:15:43,291 [knocking at door] ♪ Like a parasite ♪ 381 00:15:43,323 --> 00:15:45,359 ♪ And all she all she needs ♪ [banging at door] 382 00:15:45,393 --> 00:15:49,564 [gritty music grows louder] ♪ Is to live in me ♪ 383 00:15:49,596 --> 00:15:54,302 [band singing indistinctly] [fist pounding] 384 00:15:54,335 --> 00:15:55,870 What the fuck do you want, Christopher? 385 00:15:55,903 --> 00:15:57,538 If you wanna be in a real band, 386 00:15:57,572 --> 00:15:58,740 invest in some soundproofing? 387 00:15:58,773 --> 00:16:00,475 Do I look like I could afford soundproofing? 388 00:16:00,508 --> 00:16:01,408 Is that my problem? 389 00:16:01,442 --> 00:16:02,744 Yeah, sort of, it is. 390 00:16:02,777 --> 00:16:03,979 Spend a hundred dollars at Home Depot. 391 00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:05,546 I can't go to Home Depot, 392 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,382 because I don't support the co-founder's politics. 393 00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:08,750 Do you wanna go for me? 394 00:16:08,783 --> 00:16:10,451 My god, my dogs don't like the noise. 395 00:16:10,485 --> 00:16:11,753 Well, I don't like your dogs, 396 00:16:11,785 --> 00:16:12,519 - Christopher. - You wrote enough songs 397 00:16:12,552 --> 00:16:13,754 about 'em. 398 00:16:13,788 --> 00:16:16,557 "Kill Them Bitches," "Shut Up, Mutts." 399 00:16:16,591 --> 00:16:18,726 They're dumb, and they're blind, and they're also deaf. 400 00:16:18,759 --> 00:16:20,495 It's really loud in there, Lana. 401 00:16:21,162 --> 00:16:23,264 And I'm trying to binge some Nat Geo. 402 00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:25,432 Jesus, you're so fucking dramatic. 403 00:16:25,466 --> 00:16:26,835 I'm gonna call Rebecca. 404 00:16:26,868 --> 00:16:28,570 Go for it. Call Rebecca. 405 00:16:28,602 --> 00:16:29,670 We're very close. 406 00:16:29,703 --> 00:16:31,405 - Bullshit. - Yep. 407 00:16:31,438 --> 00:16:32,807 She'll love to hear from you. She likes you so much. 408 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,609 - I know she does. - She loves you. 409 00:16:34,642 --> 00:16:35,677 [Christopher] Why are you winking at me? That's weird. 410 00:16:35,710 --> 00:16:36,845 - I'm not winking. - Yeah, you are. 411 00:16:36,878 --> 00:16:37,479 What are you talking about? 412 00:16:37,511 --> 00:16:38,712 I'm gonna call the cops. 413 00:16:38,745 --> 00:16:39,780 KK, fuck you. 414 00:16:39,813 --> 00:16:40,748 No, fuck you. 415 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:41,650 - No, fuck you. - No, fuck you. 416 00:16:41,682 --> 00:16:42,850 - Ha. - Fuck you, ha. 417 00:16:42,884 --> 00:16:44,619 Wow, nice. Look at that big boy mouth. 418 00:16:44,652 --> 00:16:45,787 - Fuck you. - Fuck you. 419 00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:46,621 - Fuck you. - Fuck you, say it again. 420 00:16:46,653 --> 00:16:47,588 Fuck you. 421 00:16:47,621 --> 00:16:48,455 - Fuck you! - Fuck you. 422 00:16:48,489 --> 00:16:49,658 - Fuck you. - Fuck ya. 423 00:16:49,691 --> 00:16:51,660 - Fuck you, fucker. - Fuck you, fuck you. 424 00:16:51,692 --> 00:16:54,696 [Both] Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. 425 00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:55,730 - And fuck you. - Yeah. 426 00:16:55,763 --> 00:16:56,798 [Both] Fuck you! 427 00:16:56,831 --> 00:16:57,999 - Fuck you. - Fuck you. 428 00:16:58,032 --> 00:16:58,700 - [laughs] Fuck you. - Yeah, okay. [laughs] 429 00:16:58,732 --> 00:16:59,733 [Christopher] Ha-ha, fuck you. 430 00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:01,936 [Lana laughs maniacally] 431 00:17:01,969 --> 00:17:04,673 [Lana] Fuck you, dude! Oh my god. 432 00:17:04,705 --> 00:17:06,073 [Christopher] Write a song about it. 433 00:17:06,106 --> 00:17:07,509 - I will. - Write a loud song about it with like 434 00:17:07,541 --> 00:17:09,009 - three dissonant chords. - Fuck you, dude. 435 00:17:09,042 --> 00:17:13,647 ♪ Fuck you, you stupid little cunt ♪ 436 00:17:13,681 --> 00:17:16,018 ♪ I don't like you ♪ 437 00:17:16,284 --> 00:17:17,986 What are you guys doing tonight? 438 00:17:18,019 --> 00:17:18,787 Um. 439 00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:22,791 I was gonna go see your Rebecca for a bit. 440 00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:24,592 You're still fucking your landlord? 441 00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:25,626 Landlady. 442 00:17:26,794 --> 00:17:28,397 I'm seeing this guy. 443 00:17:28,763 --> 00:17:31,065 He's sexy in like a Skarsgard kind of way. 444 00:17:31,098 --> 00:17:32,701 - Hmm-mm. - Mm-hmm. 445 00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,001 I mean, I haven't met him yet, 446 00:17:34,035 --> 00:17:36,838 but we just matched on Crush'd, so. 447 00:17:36,871 --> 00:17:38,340 Crush'd? 448 00:17:38,373 --> 00:17:39,841 Yeah, oh, it's the sickest new dating app. 449 00:17:39,874 --> 00:17:41,675 Tons of famous people are on it, too. 450 00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:42,911 I've seen like maybe the entire cast 451 00:17:42,943 --> 00:17:43,744 of "Harry Potter" on it. 452 00:17:43,778 --> 00:17:45,113 Mm? 453 00:17:45,145 --> 00:17:46,380 I'm jealous. 454 00:17:47,615 --> 00:17:48,615 What? Why? 455 00:17:48,648 --> 00:17:51,352 I don't know. I'm not. 456 00:17:51,385 --> 00:17:54,422 I'm not jealous, actually. I don't know why I said that. 457 00:17:54,454 --> 00:17:55,689 I know why you said that. 458 00:17:55,722 --> 00:17:57,591 It's because you're sad that you're 459 00:17:57,625 --> 00:17:58,926 - a crusty married person. - Yeah. 460 00:17:58,960 --> 00:17:59,827 - No. - That's definitely why 461 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:00,995 - you said that. - No. 462 00:18:01,028 --> 00:18:02,564 - I'm sorry. - That's not it, I just... 463 00:18:04,464 --> 00:18:07,101 It makes me feel adult 464 00:18:07,134 --> 00:18:09,703 in a way that I don't want to be. 465 00:18:09,737 --> 00:18:10,906 [Tori] Yeah, crusty. 466 00:18:11,472 --> 00:18:14,509 Dude, I totally get it. 467 00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:17,378 It's normal to wanna go out and have fun. 468 00:18:18,546 --> 00:18:20,582 We're fuckin' infants. 469 00:18:20,615 --> 00:18:21,782 We're kids. 470 00:18:23,151 --> 00:18:25,620 Mama always said youth is wasted on the young. 471 00:18:26,153 --> 00:18:27,521 That's not really relevant. 472 00:18:27,555 --> 00:18:28,523 It kind of is. 473 00:18:28,556 --> 00:18:29,723 Okay, well, it's not helpful. 474 00:18:29,757 --> 00:18:30,959 Does everything I say I have to be helpful? 475 00:18:30,991 --> 00:18:32,527 Ideally. 476 00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:33,729 Well, I'm sorry. That's unrealistic, sweetie. 477 00:18:36,864 --> 00:18:39,933 [gentle lighthearted music] 478 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,936 Can you ask Mark about AJ for me? 479 00:18:41,969 --> 00:18:43,571 [scoffs] Gross. 480 00:18:43,604 --> 00:18:44,939 He's hot. 481 00:18:44,971 --> 00:18:46,673 He thinks his skin's only purpose 482 00:18:46,707 --> 00:18:48,743 is to store his muscles. 483 00:18:48,776 --> 00:18:50,678 [Tori] Yeah, exactly. [laughs] 484 00:18:50,711 --> 00:18:51,846 What about the Crush'd guy? 485 00:18:51,878 --> 00:18:54,581 I can fuck more than one person if it's not the same day. 486 00:18:54,615 --> 00:18:55,482 Men do it all the time. 487 00:18:55,516 --> 00:18:56,785 So can woman. 488 00:18:56,817 --> 00:18:58,420 I'm agreeing with you. 489 00:18:58,452 --> 00:19:00,689 Okay, great, so we agree. 490 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:03,958 You know, you could do it, too. 491 00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:04,858 I mean, just 'cause you're married 492 00:19:04,892 --> 00:19:06,561 doesn't mean you need to be monogamous 493 00:19:06,594 --> 00:19:07,863 for the rest of your life. 494 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,901 For the rest of your pussy's life. 495 00:19:12,933 --> 00:19:15,670 [playful mischievous music] 496 00:19:15,702 --> 00:19:18,072 [camera clicks] 497 00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:28,182 [door creaks] 498 00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:31,486 [Mary] Hi. 499 00:19:33,488 --> 00:19:34,089 Hello. 500 00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:36,124 [Mary] Come here. 501 00:19:37,525 --> 00:19:38,460 I can do that. 502 00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:49,170 How was your day? 503 00:19:49,202 --> 00:19:50,571 It was good. 504 00:19:51,204 --> 00:19:54,241 Kyle and AJ invited us to their party this weekend, 505 00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:55,043 - but I- - Babe, that was 506 00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:56,110 fully rhetorical. 507 00:19:56,143 --> 00:19:57,446 Have sex with me. 508 00:19:58,546 --> 00:20:00,749 [Mary laughs] 509 00:20:09,056 --> 00:20:11,726 [both moaning] 510 00:20:16,897 --> 00:20:18,632 Hey, I have a question. 511 00:20:18,665 --> 00:20:20,501 [Mark groans] 512 00:20:20,535 --> 00:20:21,503 Hello? 513 00:20:21,536 --> 00:20:23,037 Yeah. 514 00:20:23,069 --> 00:20:24,571 Nevermind, after. 515 00:20:24,605 --> 00:20:26,140 Okay, cool, 'cause I'm about to come. 516 00:20:26,173 --> 00:20:27,174 What? 517 00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:28,076 Already? 518 00:20:28,108 --> 00:20:30,744 [Mark grunting] 519 00:20:32,946 --> 00:20:35,750 [groans] Oh, shit. 520 00:20:40,688 --> 00:20:43,124 You remembered to take your pill, right? 521 00:20:43,156 --> 00:20:45,592 No, but I set my alarm for 8:40, 522 00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:46,860 'cause I wasn't near my bag earlier. 523 00:20:46,894 --> 00:20:47,828 Okay. 524 00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:49,998 [Mary hums] 525 00:20:53,334 --> 00:20:54,802 [Mary sighs] 526 00:20:54,835 --> 00:20:57,739 [Mark groaning] 527 00:20:57,771 --> 00:20:58,706 Oh. 528 00:21:01,675 --> 00:21:04,044 [clock ticking] 529 00:21:06,314 --> 00:21:08,316 Oh, I love you. 530 00:21:08,348 --> 00:21:10,317 I love you, too. 531 00:21:10,351 --> 00:21:15,257 [pulsing upbeat music] [singer harmonizing] 532 00:21:18,224 --> 00:21:20,994 [water splashing] 533 00:21:21,028 --> 00:21:22,764 The steam is helping. 534 00:21:22,797 --> 00:21:23,998 What was your question? 535 00:21:24,030 --> 00:21:25,899 I said, the steam is helping. 536 00:21:25,932 --> 00:21:26,901 [Mark] No, what was the thing 537 00:21:26,933 --> 00:21:28,201 you were gonna ask me before? 538 00:21:28,234 --> 00:21:29,136 Oh. 539 00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:30,572 It's stupid. 540 00:21:30,605 --> 00:21:32,105 [Mark] Ah, I bet it wasn't. 541 00:21:32,138 --> 00:21:33,807 Nothing in your brain is stupid. 542 00:21:35,209 --> 00:21:36,878 It was just something hypothetical 543 00:21:36,911 --> 00:21:38,580 that Tori had me thinking about. 544 00:21:38,613 --> 00:21:39,814 [Mark] Well, what was it? 545 00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:43,984 I don't know. 546 00:21:44,018 --> 00:21:45,319 [Mark] Come on, tell me. 547 00:21:47,221 --> 00:21:48,557 Okay. 548 00:21:49,423 --> 00:21:52,293 Have you ever thought about being with someone else? 549 00:21:53,661 --> 00:21:54,729 [Mark] What do you mean? 550 00:21:55,195 --> 00:21:58,765 You know, like another girl. 551 00:21:58,798 --> 00:22:01,269 [Mark] Like bringing a third? 552 00:22:01,301 --> 00:22:03,870 [Mary] Not what I meant, but that could be fun. 553 00:22:03,903 --> 00:22:05,339 Do you think I'm cheating on you? 554 00:22:05,373 --> 00:22:07,808 No, no, I know you're not. 555 00:22:07,842 --> 00:22:09,044 Baby, I would never. 556 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,018 I, I think a better way to phrase it 557 00:22:17,050 --> 00:22:18,153 or, or put it would be, 558 00:22:21,021 --> 00:22:23,090 would you ever consider an open thing? 559 00:22:23,124 --> 00:22:24,726 I don't necessarily mean now, 560 00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:27,729 but at some point in the future, maybe? 561 00:22:27,761 --> 00:22:31,231 [Mark gasping] [shower knob squeaking] 562 00:22:31,265 --> 00:22:32,133 [Mark] Fuck, Mary. 563 00:22:33,034 --> 00:22:34,802 Jesus. 564 00:22:34,835 --> 00:22:36,237 I knew you were too sensitive for this conversation. 565 00:22:36,269 --> 00:22:37,771 I'm sorry, am I overreacting to the fact 566 00:22:37,805 --> 00:22:40,408 that you wanna be inside other people? 567 00:22:40,441 --> 00:22:42,009 You know I don't have a penis, right? 568 00:22:42,042 --> 00:22:44,811 Whatever, I got it backwards. You know what I mean. 569 00:22:44,845 --> 00:22:45,779 Why do you want this? 570 00:22:45,813 --> 00:22:47,048 I don't know. 571 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,882 Life short. It's exciting. 572 00:22:48,915 --> 00:22:50,083 Monogamy is dumb when you think about it. 573 00:22:50,116 --> 00:22:52,220 No, it's not. 574 00:22:52,252 --> 00:22:54,121 The only reason that anyone is exclusive 575 00:22:54,154 --> 00:22:56,324 is because of societal pressure to conform. 576 00:22:56,356 --> 00:22:58,725 We aren't made this way. It's unnatural. 577 00:22:58,759 --> 00:23:00,995 That is so dumb. You have no idea how dumb that sounds. 578 00:23:01,028 --> 00:23:02,730 Queer culture has been doing it for centuries. 579 00:23:02,762 --> 00:23:05,032 My Aunty Carol does it. Super happy. 580 00:23:05,066 --> 00:23:06,433 What about animals? 581 00:23:06,467 --> 00:23:08,336 I mean, animals have been monogamous for centuries. 582 00:23:08,368 --> 00:23:10,337 We're all just animals. Wolves, wolves are monogamous. 583 00:23:10,371 --> 00:23:12,273 - Wolves are terrifying. - No. 584 00:23:12,306 --> 00:23:15,009 They're not. Your Aunty Carol's terrifying. 585 00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:17,077 [sighs] Look, I'm just... 586 00:23:17,111 --> 00:23:18,746 I don't judge Aunty Carol, it's just, 587 00:23:18,778 --> 00:23:20,181 I don't wanna be Aunty Carol. 588 00:23:22,249 --> 00:23:24,818 You were gonna ask me about this while we were having sex? 589 00:23:24,852 --> 00:23:26,220 I thought it would be hot! 590 00:23:26,252 --> 00:23:27,821 Is nothing sacred to you? 591 00:23:27,855 --> 00:23:29,089 Okay, obviously I didn't know 592 00:23:29,123 --> 00:23:30,224 you were gonna be this pissed off. 593 00:23:30,258 --> 00:23:32,860 You were trying to manipulate me with your sexy socks. 594 00:23:32,893 --> 00:23:34,796 My socks have nothing to do with this. 595 00:23:34,828 --> 00:23:36,063 I think they do. 596 00:23:36,096 --> 00:23:37,264 They don't. 597 00:23:37,298 --> 00:23:38,465 - They do. - They don't. 598 00:23:38,499 --> 00:23:40,300 They have everything to do with this! 599 00:23:44,471 --> 00:23:46,708 I don't like being the little spoon. 600 00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:47,442 Then you spoon me. 601 00:23:47,474 --> 00:23:49,776 [Mark] I don't wanna spoon you. 602 00:23:49,809 --> 00:23:51,278 I bet you do a little bit. 603 00:23:51,311 --> 00:23:52,112 I really don't. 604 00:24:02,856 --> 00:24:05,058 Being with one person your whole life is outdated. 605 00:24:05,092 --> 00:24:06,795 I don't give a shit if it's outdated. 606 00:24:07,795 --> 00:24:08,962 It's what we signed up for. 607 00:24:11,097 --> 00:24:12,165 And if you do give a shit, 608 00:24:12,199 --> 00:24:14,302 you probably should've told me before we got married. 609 00:24:14,335 --> 00:24:16,304 So I'm supposed to know everything I might want 610 00:24:16,336 --> 00:24:17,404 before I want it? 611 00:24:17,438 --> 00:24:18,206 Yeah. 612 00:24:19,973 --> 00:24:21,108 You're being immature. 613 00:24:21,142 --> 00:24:22,744 Yeah, well, you're being a whore, so, 614 00:24:23,376 --> 00:24:24,745 we're both things. 615 00:24:30,518 --> 00:24:32,721 [Mark sighs] 616 00:24:33,953 --> 00:24:35,222 I meant metaphorically. 617 00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:37,225 I'm metaphorically being a whore? 618 00:24:37,959 --> 00:24:39,994 [groans] Let's just, can we go to bed? 619 00:24:42,262 --> 00:24:45,031 You asked me to be honest with you, right? 620 00:24:45,065 --> 00:24:47,034 So how was I supposed to talk to you about this? 621 00:24:47,067 --> 00:24:48,935 What would have been the right way, in your mind, 622 00:24:48,969 --> 00:24:50,004 for me to bring this up? 623 00:24:51,806 --> 00:24:53,141 It's not about you bringing up. 624 00:24:55,843 --> 00:24:57,312 It's that you're thinking about it at all. 625 00:25:00,446 --> 00:25:03,383 [Mark sighs] 626 00:25:03,416 --> 00:25:08,021 [lamp clicks] [bright gentle music] 627 00:25:11,057 --> 00:25:12,425 Can we talk about this now? 628 00:25:12,459 --> 00:25:13,461 Nope. 629 00:25:14,228 --> 00:25:18,065 ♪ Bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee ♪ 630 00:25:18,097 --> 00:25:19,933 - ♪ Bumblebee ♪ - Mary, I'm trying to work. 631 00:25:19,967 --> 00:25:21,169 So am I. 632 00:25:22,236 --> 00:25:24,539 Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather. 633 00:25:24,571 --> 00:25:26,006 I'm not talking about it. 634 00:25:26,039 --> 00:25:27,442 I didn't ask. 635 00:25:28,843 --> 00:25:31,211 [Mary trilling] 636 00:25:36,884 --> 00:25:38,286 How about now? 637 00:25:38,318 --> 00:25:39,921 No. 638 00:25:39,953 --> 00:25:40,587 But- 639 00:25:40,621 --> 00:25:41,322 - Still a no. 640 00:25:50,163 --> 00:25:51,065 I don't get what you are. 641 00:25:54,300 --> 00:25:55,302 I'm myself. 642 00:25:55,336 --> 00:25:57,806 Huh. I don't get it. 643 00:25:58,539 --> 00:26:00,106 [Mary] What are you supposed to be? 644 00:26:00,140 --> 00:26:01,376 A guy with the better mustache. 645 00:26:02,643 --> 00:26:05,078 [Mary laughs] 646 00:26:07,013 --> 00:26:08,315 I did some googling, 647 00:26:08,348 --> 00:26:09,850 and it's usually called ethical non-monogamy, 648 00:26:09,884 --> 00:26:11,853 if you wanted to do some research before we talk. 649 00:26:11,885 --> 00:26:13,086 You're already googling? 650 00:26:17,223 --> 00:26:19,527 [soft music] 651 00:26:23,663 --> 00:26:27,902 ♪ All the lights are flashin' in red ♪ 652 00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:31,538 ♪ Paradise is full ♪ 653 00:26:31,571 --> 00:26:34,307 ♪ Ah, but don't it look just how ♪ 654 00:26:34,340 --> 00:26:35,408 Thanks. 655 00:26:35,442 --> 00:26:39,512 ♪ You dreamed it would ♪ 656 00:26:39,546 --> 00:26:42,450 ♪ Hold me close, say you will ♪ 657 00:26:42,482 --> 00:26:44,417 I always safer when I have a female driver. 658 00:26:44,451 --> 00:26:47,654 Oh my god, thank you. [giggles] 659 00:26:47,688 --> 00:26:49,357 Are we gonna be that problem couple at the party 660 00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:50,658 that brings tense vibes? 661 00:26:50,691 --> 00:26:52,626 I was wondering the same thing. 662 00:26:52,660 --> 00:26:54,327 Oh, no, this is our conversation now. 663 00:26:54,361 --> 00:26:56,597 Oh, totally. I'm sorry. 664 00:26:56,630 --> 00:26:58,666 That is not the first time I've heard that. [laughs] 665 00:26:58,699 --> 00:26:59,500 I don't know. 666 00:27:00,334 --> 00:27:01,269 I guess we are. 667 00:27:03,103 --> 00:27:04,439 All right, fine. Fuck it. 668 00:27:05,571 --> 00:27:06,640 What? 669 00:27:06,673 --> 00:27:07,875 I give up. 670 00:27:09,276 --> 00:27:11,246 You wanna fuck someone else so badly, Mary, 671 00:27:12,413 --> 00:27:13,981 give it a shot. 672 00:27:14,582 --> 00:27:18,286 Seriously, give it a shot. We're goin' to a party. 673 00:27:18,853 --> 00:27:20,988 You could find yourself a dick or vagina, 674 00:27:21,020 --> 00:27:23,691 or whatever it is that's on trend these days. 675 00:27:23,723 --> 00:27:25,425 Go follow the zeitgeist. 676 00:27:25,459 --> 00:27:27,961 Am I looking for an apartment or- 677 00:27:27,994 --> 00:27:29,129 - You're overreacting. 678 00:27:29,163 --> 00:27:30,330 Yeah, well, you're being too woke. 679 00:27:30,364 --> 00:27:31,298 That's not a bad thing. 680 00:27:31,332 --> 00:27:32,333 Mm. 681 00:27:32,365 --> 00:27:35,368 [cellphone ringing] 682 00:27:35,402 --> 00:27:38,206 [cellphone chimes] 683 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,942 [Mary] Fuck, where is it? 684 00:27:41,976 --> 00:27:43,010 Did you forget it? 685 00:27:43,042 --> 00:27:44,077 [Mary] No, I'm getting it. 686 00:27:47,448 --> 00:27:50,518 ♪ Tonight I'm really living ♪ 687 00:27:50,550 --> 00:27:52,086 ♪ I'm a vampire again ♪ 688 00:27:52,118 --> 00:27:54,387 To my boys. [glasses clinking] 689 00:27:54,421 --> 00:27:55,456 Fuck Mary. 690 00:27:56,190 --> 00:27:57,124 What? 691 00:27:57,156 --> 00:27:58,326 Fuck her. 692 00:27:58,358 --> 00:28:00,327 [Kyle] We talking to the same Mark right now? 693 00:28:01,729 --> 00:28:02,630 - Oh, gracias. - Jesus. 694 00:28:02,663 --> 00:28:04,198 - Hey. - Cool. 695 00:28:04,230 --> 00:28:06,166 Who's here? What girls are here? 696 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,036 What a little bitch. Fuck Mark. 697 00:28:09,068 --> 00:28:10,070 What? 698 00:28:10,104 --> 00:28:11,005 Fuck him. 699 00:28:11,038 --> 00:28:12,339 What's going on? 700 00:28:12,373 --> 00:28:15,576 Look at him with his boyfriends and his little curls, 701 00:28:15,608 --> 00:28:17,544 'cause he just bought new conditioner. 702 00:28:17,577 --> 00:28:20,181 I'm lost. Can you elaborate? 703 00:28:20,213 --> 00:28:23,550 You know what, I took your advice, so fuck you, too. 704 00:28:23,584 --> 00:28:25,219 What advice? What did I do? 705 00:28:34,161 --> 00:28:36,297 Yeah, what about her? 706 00:28:36,329 --> 00:28:38,098 You think she would talk to me? 707 00:28:38,132 --> 00:28:39,333 Can you please not make my party 708 00:28:39,365 --> 00:28:40,334 - about- - Our party. 709 00:28:40,366 --> 00:28:41,434 - It's our party. - Really? 710 00:28:41,468 --> 00:28:42,269 We threw it together. 711 00:28:42,301 --> 00:28:43,570 - Okay. - Yeah. 712 00:28:43,604 --> 00:28:44,471 - Split the cost and everything. - Okay, I got. 713 00:28:44,505 --> 00:28:46,240 Can you not make our party- 714 00:28:46,272 --> 00:28:47,207 - Thank you. 715 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,509 about making Mary jealous? 716 00:28:48,541 --> 00:28:49,609 I'm not tryin' to make her jealous. 717 00:28:49,643 --> 00:28:51,144 Oh really? 718 00:28:51,178 --> 00:28:52,347 Then what are you trying to do? 719 00:28:55,182 --> 00:28:56,116 What is that? 720 00:28:58,285 --> 00:28:59,620 Okay. 721 00:28:59,653 --> 00:29:00,520 Go do that. 722 00:29:03,257 --> 00:29:05,226 What's up? 723 00:29:05,259 --> 00:29:06,426 [Bunny] What are you? 724 00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:09,430 Oh, I got like two, I got another mustache on my mustache. 725 00:29:09,462 --> 00:29:11,132 - Ah. [laughs] - Better mustache. 726 00:29:11,164 --> 00:29:12,500 I can't believe how transparent he's being. 727 00:29:12,532 --> 00:29:14,467 He looks more drunk than transparent. 728 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:15,569 [Mark] What should I do? 729 00:29:16,636 --> 00:29:17,637 Nothing. 730 00:29:17,671 --> 00:29:18,706 What? 731 00:29:18,739 --> 00:29:20,441 There's nothing you can do. 732 00:29:20,473 --> 00:29:22,076 That's helpful. 733 00:29:22,108 --> 00:29:24,611 Stop saying I'm not helpful by saying I'm helpful 734 00:29:24,644 --> 00:29:26,480 when I'm just trying to be helpful. 735 00:29:26,512 --> 00:29:30,583 My husband is drunk, talking to some random hot girl. 736 00:29:30,616 --> 00:29:33,153 Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's not down anymore. 737 00:29:33,186 --> 00:29:34,421 I don't think she was ever down. 738 00:29:34,454 --> 00:29:35,789 Mm, she was a little down at first, 739 00:29:35,823 --> 00:29:37,291 and then I sent her the dick pic, 740 00:29:37,324 --> 00:29:39,493 and I don't think she's down anymore. 741 00:29:39,526 --> 00:29:41,095 I'm gonna go find AJ. Peace. 742 00:29:41,127 --> 00:29:43,630 She's coming, she's coming, shut the fuck up. 743 00:29:43,663 --> 00:29:45,566 [AJ clears throat] 744 00:29:45,598 --> 00:29:46,500 Hey. 745 00:29:47,334 --> 00:29:48,236 Sup? 746 00:29:50,570 --> 00:29:51,338 Oh. 747 00:29:57,510 --> 00:29:58,745 [Bunny laughs] 748 00:29:58,778 --> 00:29:59,680 So you like animals? 749 00:29:59,712 --> 00:30:03,616 Yeah. I, like, I love animals. 750 00:30:03,650 --> 00:30:07,421 Me too. You know, I walk dogs, so. 751 00:30:07,453 --> 00:30:08,321 Like for fun? 752 00:30:10,124 --> 00:30:11,092 Yeah. 753 00:30:11,125 --> 00:30:13,661 That's cool. [laughs] 754 00:30:13,693 --> 00:30:15,361 I have a schnauzer. 755 00:30:15,394 --> 00:30:16,363 Oh, that's a great breed. 756 00:30:16,395 --> 00:30:17,464 Yeah. Thanks. 757 00:30:17,498 --> 00:30:18,432 - Great dogs. - They're cool. 758 00:30:18,464 --> 00:30:19,332 Uh-huh. 759 00:30:24,505 --> 00:30:27,341 [light upbeat music] 760 00:30:38,919 --> 00:30:41,522 So what have you been up to lately? 761 00:30:41,555 --> 00:30:44,525 Well, actually, it's my birthday week. 762 00:30:44,557 --> 00:30:47,827 So I have a couple little fun things planned. 763 00:30:47,861 --> 00:30:49,763 Oh, nice. 764 00:30:49,796 --> 00:30:51,132 Happy birthday. 765 00:30:51,164 --> 00:30:52,199 Thanks. 766 00:30:52,231 --> 00:30:53,166 Where's my cake? 767 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,735 I don't know you, so. 768 00:30:59,539 --> 00:31:01,741 So are you, like, tryin' to do this? 769 00:31:01,775 --> 00:31:03,177 Do what? 770 00:31:03,210 --> 00:31:04,678 [laughs] The whole, 771 00:31:04,711 --> 00:31:08,382 "We just met at a party, let's fuck," thing. 772 00:31:13,686 --> 00:31:15,755 Yes. 773 00:31:15,788 --> 00:31:16,656 Mm-hmm. 774 00:31:17,523 --> 00:31:18,892 Hmm. 775 00:31:18,925 --> 00:31:23,196 [singers harmonizing faintly] 776 00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:27,868 ♪ So I turn my head ♪ 777 00:31:29,603 --> 00:31:32,173 ♪ To look again ♪ 778 00:31:35,576 --> 00:31:38,211 [music swells] 779 00:31:42,348 --> 00:31:44,684 [Bunny gasping] 780 00:31:53,626 --> 00:31:54,627 [Mark sobs] 781 00:31:54,661 --> 00:31:55,763 Whoa, whoa, oh my god, okay. 782 00:31:55,796 --> 00:31:56,663 No, I'm okay. 783 00:31:56,696 --> 00:31:57,730 Oh, uh. 784 00:31:57,763 --> 00:31:58,798 This is okay, right? 785 00:31:58,832 --> 00:32:00,201 - Mm-hmm. - Do you like it? 786 00:32:00,233 --> 00:32:01,434 Do you like this? 787 00:32:02,501 --> 00:32:04,637 I don't, um... 788 00:32:04,671 --> 00:32:05,838 Really, it's okay. 789 00:32:05,872 --> 00:32:06,974 - No, you- - I just need a second. 790 00:32:07,007 --> 00:32:08,475 [Bunny] Yeah, yeah. 791 00:32:08,508 --> 00:32:10,577 [Mark groans] 792 00:32:10,611 --> 00:32:12,278 I feel kind of... 793 00:32:12,311 --> 00:32:13,680 - Okay. - Do you have some water? 794 00:32:13,713 --> 00:32:16,282 Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's, uh... 795 00:32:16,316 --> 00:32:17,384 Let's... 796 00:32:29,563 --> 00:32:31,866 [Mark sighing] 797 00:32:33,634 --> 00:32:36,336 [bed creaking] 798 00:32:37,570 --> 00:32:38,772 You're awake, right? 799 00:32:41,008 --> 00:32:41,976 Yeah. 800 00:32:42,808 --> 00:32:43,711 Cool. 801 00:32:45,679 --> 00:32:47,881 Why? Did you want me to be asleep for this? 802 00:32:47,913 --> 00:32:50,483 No, I don't want you to be asleep if I'm jerking off. 803 00:32:52,451 --> 00:32:53,787 I kind of feel like it'd be more normal 804 00:32:53,819 --> 00:32:55,388 if I was asleep for this. 805 00:32:56,056 --> 00:32:58,491 But you're like a participant. I don't know. 806 00:32:59,625 --> 00:33:01,695 How, how am I participating? 807 00:33:03,430 --> 00:33:04,865 You're in bed with me, 808 00:33:08,434 --> 00:33:09,436 breathing. 809 00:33:10,537 --> 00:33:11,838 Breathing? 810 00:33:11,872 --> 00:33:14,908 You know, like, you're with me. 811 00:33:14,941 --> 00:33:17,745 I'm thinking about you, and you're fully here for it. 812 00:33:19,378 --> 00:33:21,514 This is adjacent to what we were gonna do anyway. 813 00:33:23,817 --> 00:33:25,019 Should I stop? 814 00:33:25,051 --> 00:33:26,353 I don't really care. 815 00:33:34,361 --> 00:33:37,730 [clock ticking] 816 00:33:37,763 --> 00:33:40,700 [gentle pensive music] 817 00:33:52,479 --> 00:33:55,481 ♪ All that I want is ♪ 818 00:33:55,515 --> 00:33:59,353 ♪ A pair of wing to fly ♪ 819 00:33:59,385 --> 00:34:02,388 ♪ Into the blue of ♪ 820 00:34:02,422 --> 00:34:05,793 ♪ The wide open sky ♪ 821 00:34:05,826 --> 00:34:08,929 ♪ Show me your scars ♪ 822 00:34:08,961 --> 00:34:12,766 ♪ I'll show you mine ♪ 823 00:34:12,798 --> 00:34:14,567 ♪ Perched out of the city ♪ 824 00:34:14,601 --> 00:34:19,573 ♪ On a pair of power lines ♪ 825 00:34:20,005 --> 00:34:23,009 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 826 00:34:23,043 --> 00:34:25,079 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 827 00:34:30,150 --> 00:34:34,989 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ [Mary sniffles] 828 00:34:37,923 --> 00:34:41,896 [moves to soft suspenseful music] 829 00:34:46,833 --> 00:34:49,603 [knuckles rapping] 830 00:34:53,873 --> 00:34:56,710 [light playful music] 831 00:35:09,688 --> 00:35:11,692 I just jerked off. That's not anything. 832 00:35:11,724 --> 00:35:12,559 I mean... 833 00:35:13,527 --> 00:35:14,528 Right? 834 00:35:20,199 --> 00:35:22,502 [Mark sighs] 835 00:35:24,871 --> 00:35:26,073 I wasn't fat. 836 00:35:27,072 --> 00:35:28,641 I've never been fat. 837 00:35:32,112 --> 00:35:34,682 [Mark grunting] 838 00:35:36,583 --> 00:35:37,818 [Mark groans] 839 00:35:37,851 --> 00:35:38,919 What do you think I should do? 840 00:35:39,985 --> 00:35:41,388 Am I closed-minded? 841 00:35:42,088 --> 00:35:43,657 Should we be open? 842 00:35:44,157 --> 00:35:45,659 Are birds monogamous? 843 00:35:46,827 --> 00:35:47,862 Answer me. 844 00:35:51,630 --> 00:35:53,000 What am I doing? 845 00:35:53,032 --> 00:35:56,871 [light playful music continues] 846 00:36:05,244 --> 00:36:06,179 [footsteps shuffling] 847 00:36:06,213 --> 00:36:09,650 [door rattling] 848 00:36:09,682 --> 00:36:11,451 Hey. 849 00:36:11,485 --> 00:36:13,487 [sighs] I'm so sorry. 850 00:36:15,688 --> 00:36:16,589 Me too. 851 00:36:18,925 --> 00:36:21,695 [Mark sighs] 852 00:36:32,572 --> 00:36:34,907 Can I have an Oreo? 853 00:36:34,940 --> 00:36:36,676 Of course you can have an Oreo. 854 00:36:45,751 --> 00:36:47,688 I love you. 855 00:36:49,956 --> 00:36:51,858 I love you so much. 856 00:36:54,661 --> 00:36:57,831 [both sniffling] 857 00:36:57,864 --> 00:36:58,965 I'm really, really sorry. 858 00:37:00,065 --> 00:37:01,067 Why? 859 00:37:01,101 --> 00:37:02,736 I don't know what I was doing. 860 00:37:06,206 --> 00:37:07,641 Was work okay? 861 00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:09,242 It was fine. 862 00:37:10,809 --> 00:37:11,945 How many Oreos did you eat? 863 00:37:11,978 --> 00:37:12,880 I don't know. 864 00:37:12,913 --> 00:37:15,782 [Mary laughs] 865 00:37:15,815 --> 00:37:17,617 [Mark sobs] 866 00:37:17,650 --> 00:37:22,222 [pulsing upbeat music] [singer harmonizing] 867 00:37:23,822 --> 00:37:25,291 Okay. 868 00:37:25,324 --> 00:37:28,694 If we're gonna do this, then no ex-boyfriends. 869 00:37:28,728 --> 00:37:30,163 No ex-girlfriends. 870 00:37:30,195 --> 00:37:31,130 I'm not even friends with any of them 871 00:37:31,164 --> 00:37:32,666 other than, like, on Instagram. 872 00:37:32,699 --> 00:37:33,666 I'm nervous. 873 00:37:33,699 --> 00:37:35,034 Me too. 874 00:37:35,068 --> 00:37:36,703 Hey, guys, I'm Melanie. I'll be your server. 875 00:37:36,735 --> 00:37:37,971 Can you get you started with some drinks? 876 00:37:38,003 --> 00:37:39,139 Wine, any wine. 877 00:37:39,172 --> 00:37:40,206 Gin. 878 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,741 [Melanie] Okay. 879 00:37:42,775 --> 00:37:44,877 [Mark sighs] 880 00:37:44,911 --> 00:37:46,246 What else? 881 00:37:46,278 --> 00:37:48,681 Uh, no having sex with someone more than 882 00:37:49,815 --> 00:37:50,650 five times. 883 00:37:51,684 --> 00:37:52,652 Three times. 884 00:37:52,686 --> 00:37:53,954 Four times. 885 00:37:53,987 --> 00:37:56,757 This is a priority relationship, always. 886 00:37:56,789 --> 00:37:59,058 Yeah, so no preexisting fuck-buddies with baggage. 887 00:37:59,092 --> 00:38:00,727 That sounds like a disease. 888 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,696 [Mark] Speaking of diseases, no diseases. 889 00:38:02,728 --> 00:38:04,897 Yes, always use a condom. 890 00:38:04,931 --> 00:38:06,066 That goes for you, too. 891 00:38:06,099 --> 00:38:08,902 Yeah, obviously, I'm not bringing home random chlamydia. 892 00:38:08,934 --> 00:38:10,971 Is random chlamydia any different than regular chlamydi... 893 00:38:11,003 --> 00:38:12,838 Stop writing down band names. 894 00:38:12,871 --> 00:38:15,074 We are Random Chlamydia! 895 00:38:15,108 --> 00:38:17,010 I'm serious, no gonorrhea, no herp. 896 00:38:17,043 --> 00:38:18,979 Why are you whispering? 897 00:38:19,012 --> 00:38:20,314 I don't know, I just... 898 00:38:20,347 --> 00:38:21,949 I really, really don't want any of these things. 899 00:38:21,981 --> 00:38:23,182 Then it's settled. 900 00:38:23,215 --> 00:38:25,818 Rule number three is always use protection. 901 00:38:26,686 --> 00:38:27,788 What do we do about... 902 00:38:27,820 --> 00:38:28,822 What? 903 00:38:28,855 --> 00:38:30,090 My latex allergy. 904 00:38:30,123 --> 00:38:31,657 Suck it up. 905 00:38:31,690 --> 00:38:34,093 The non-latex ones don't protect against STDs. 906 00:38:34,126 --> 00:38:35,996 It's something to do with the spores, I guess. 907 00:38:36,028 --> 00:38:37,764 I am not gonna have rash peen. 908 00:38:37,797 --> 00:38:39,932 Oh my god, you're killing me with these good band names. 909 00:38:39,965 --> 00:38:41,067 Mary, please. 910 00:38:42,668 --> 00:38:44,136 Okay, well, there has to be another way. 911 00:38:44,170 --> 00:38:46,173 Well, I think there's non-latex ones that do work, 912 00:38:46,206 --> 00:38:47,941 but you have to special order them from Canada or- 913 00:38:47,974 --> 00:38:49,309 - Yeah, Canada Peen! 914 00:38:51,378 --> 00:38:52,980 - [Melanie] Hi. - [Mary] Hi. 915 00:38:53,012 --> 00:38:54,280 [Melanie] Need another minute with the menu? 916 00:38:54,313 --> 00:38:55,815 Yeah, that'd be great. 917 00:38:55,849 --> 00:38:56,750 Of course. 918 00:38:57,717 --> 00:38:58,952 I got one. 919 00:38:58,985 --> 00:38:59,887 How about no, um... 920 00:39:03,422 --> 00:39:05,191 [Mary] What? 921 00:39:05,224 --> 00:39:07,661 Suckin' on people's, uh, stuff. 922 00:39:08,728 --> 00:39:10,030 [Mary] Suckin' a dick? 923 00:39:10,063 --> 00:39:12,398 Suckin' a dick. I won't suck-a the clit. 924 00:39:12,431 --> 00:39:13,700 Right. Yes. 925 00:39:15,034 --> 00:39:17,237 Out of curiosity, why? 926 00:39:17,269 --> 00:39:19,873 That's our thing, you know, wanna keep it special. 927 00:39:21,141 --> 00:39:23,943 Yeah. It's really special. 928 00:39:24,577 --> 00:39:27,247 Yours is the only one I've ever sucked. 929 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:28,215 Okay. 930 00:39:28,248 --> 00:39:29,816 [Mary] I don't even... 931 00:39:29,849 --> 00:39:31,652 I'd never even seen a dick before yours, actually. 932 00:39:33,452 --> 00:39:35,155 [Mary laughs] 933 00:39:35,487 --> 00:39:36,756 [Mark] Anything else? 934 00:39:36,789 --> 00:39:37,358 Hmm. 935 00:39:38,824 --> 00:39:41,894 Should we tell each other stuff? 936 00:39:41,927 --> 00:39:43,029 We already are. 937 00:39:43,063 --> 00:39:44,999 I mean, like, when stuff happens. 938 00:39:47,099 --> 00:39:49,068 Mm. [laughs] 939 00:39:49,101 --> 00:39:51,070 I don't wanna know about you with other people. 940 00:39:51,103 --> 00:39:53,039 Like, we keep this part of our lives separate? 941 00:39:53,072 --> 00:39:56,108 Yeah. We need a policy like that to keep our sanity. 942 00:39:56,141 --> 00:39:57,810 I don't know, I think being honest with each other 943 00:39:57,844 --> 00:39:59,146 would be the best in the long run. 944 00:40:02,916 --> 00:40:06,153 I mean, I wanna know who you're with. 945 00:40:06,186 --> 00:40:07,921 You really do? You wanna know? 946 00:40:07,954 --> 00:40:09,189 I think so. 947 00:40:11,324 --> 00:40:12,693 Okay. 948 00:40:13,226 --> 00:40:15,362 I'll tell you, and you don't tell me. 949 00:40:16,396 --> 00:40:17,231 I guess. 950 00:40:19,298 --> 00:40:20,934 Oh my god. 951 00:40:20,967 --> 00:40:21,934 [glass thuds] 952 00:40:22,869 --> 00:40:24,738 [Mark groans] 953 00:40:24,771 --> 00:40:25,906 One more rule. 954 00:40:26,672 --> 00:40:28,841 It's the most important one for me. 955 00:40:28,875 --> 00:40:30,409 We do this as a trial run. 956 00:40:30,443 --> 00:40:32,345 This is not a forever thing, okay. 957 00:40:32,378 --> 00:40:34,081 This is a "see if we like it" thing. 958 00:40:34,114 --> 00:40:35,449 And if one of us doesn't like it, 959 00:40:35,481 --> 00:40:37,349 then we can go back to being just us. 960 00:40:37,382 --> 00:40:39,852 Yeah, that seems fair. 961 00:40:39,885 --> 00:40:41,021 You promise? 962 00:40:42,789 --> 00:40:43,824 I promise. 963 00:40:45,824 --> 00:40:46,926 Mm-hmm. 964 00:40:47,193 --> 00:40:48,461 - Mm-hmm. - You know what to do. 965 00:40:48,494 --> 00:40:50,230 Take it home, baby. 966 00:40:50,262 --> 00:40:51,831 Yeah. 967 00:40:51,864 --> 00:40:54,133 [energetic music] 968 00:40:54,166 --> 00:40:55,702 What do I put for profession? 969 00:40:57,170 --> 00:40:58,238 Entrepreneur? 970 00:40:58,271 --> 00:40:59,339 Mm-hmm. 971 00:40:59,371 --> 00:41:00,473 Fuck, dude, that's good. 972 00:41:00,507 --> 00:41:01,942 What do you do again? 973 00:41:01,974 --> 00:41:02,976 I'm an entrepreneur. 974 00:41:05,043 --> 00:41:06,012 Should I put singer? 975 00:41:08,380 --> 00:41:10,250 That does sound dumb. 976 00:41:10,282 --> 00:41:13,152 That does sound dumb. You should put businesswoman. 977 00:41:13,186 --> 00:41:14,888 No, that sounds way more dumb. 978 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:15,888 [Lana coughs] 979 00:41:15,922 --> 00:41:17,224 Okay, I'm leaving it blank. 980 00:41:17,257 --> 00:41:18,825 It's mysterious. 981 00:41:18,858 --> 00:41:20,393 You should put broke. 982 00:41:20,425 --> 00:41:22,795 Yeah, then we should add that you're married. 983 00:41:22,829 --> 00:41:24,097 [both laugh] 984 00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:26,867 Should I put, like, taken and looking for friends? 985 00:41:26,900 --> 00:41:28,268 No, you're not looking for friends, 986 00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:29,902 and you don't need to put that many details. 987 00:41:29,936 --> 00:41:31,037 You don't need to find friends. 988 00:41:31,070 --> 00:41:32,305 'Cause we're your friends. 989 00:41:32,338 --> 00:41:33,774 I'm just looking for something casual, 990 00:41:33,806 --> 00:41:35,407 and I feel like I should be up-front about that. 991 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,176 - So is everybody. - [Mark] Everybody's what? 992 00:41:37,210 --> 00:41:39,179 Shit. You need a picture. 993 00:41:39,211 --> 00:41:40,780 Whatever you do, make sure you use the photo 994 00:41:40,813 --> 00:41:42,181 with the margarita and the tank top. 995 00:41:42,215 --> 00:41:44,351 You should use the photo from Halloween 996 00:41:44,384 --> 00:41:46,219 the year before last year. 997 00:41:46,251 --> 00:41:47,320 [Mary] With the knife? 998 00:41:47,353 --> 00:41:48,989 - Yeah. - Yeah. 999 00:41:49,021 --> 00:41:50,389 You don't think it's a little scary? 1000 00:41:50,422 --> 00:41:51,257 No, I do not. 1001 00:41:51,291 --> 00:41:52,459 Mm-mm. 1002 00:41:52,492 --> 00:41:53,560 There's blood on the knife, though. 1003 00:41:53,592 --> 00:41:55,261 Dude, guys love fear. 1004 00:41:55,295 --> 00:41:56,195 Yeah. 1005 00:41:56,228 --> 00:41:57,897 They love that shit. 1006 00:41:57,931 --> 00:41:59,965 ♪ Photo shoot, photo shoot ♪ 1007 00:41:59,998 --> 00:42:01,867 ♪ We're gonna do a photo shoot ♪ 1008 00:42:01,900 --> 00:42:03,036 Smile. 1009 00:42:03,068 --> 00:42:03,737 No, I don't look good right now. 1010 00:42:03,769 --> 00:42:05,237 I don't sleep well after wine. 1011 00:42:05,271 --> 00:42:07,240 ♪ Yeah, you do, you look fuckin' great ♪ 1012 00:42:07,273 --> 00:42:08,975 ♪ Let's do a photo shoot ♪ 1013 00:42:09,007 --> 00:42:10,442 - [camera clicking] - Wait. 1014 00:42:10,476 --> 00:42:11,211 Okay. 1015 00:42:12,211 --> 00:42:13,280 Oh shit. 1016 00:42:13,313 --> 00:42:15,115 [Both] Um. 1017 00:42:15,148 --> 00:42:17,317 If someone fucks with you, you take that big knife, 1018 00:42:17,349 --> 00:42:21,420 put it up to his face and be like, I'm gonna stab you. 1019 00:42:21,454 --> 00:42:25,392 I'm gonna st-st-stab you. I'm gonna stab you. 1020 00:42:25,425 --> 00:42:27,527 I'm gonna st-st-st-stab you. 1021 00:42:27,559 --> 00:42:29,596 I'm gonna stab you, mm. 1022 00:42:29,628 --> 00:42:33,032 I'm gonna st-st-st-stab you, I'm... 1023 00:42:33,065 --> 00:42:35,067 This looks like something else. 1024 00:42:35,101 --> 00:42:36,970 Once more. Maybe wet the 'stache a little bit. 1025 00:42:37,003 --> 00:42:38,338 Don't do that. Don't wet your 'stache. 1026 00:42:38,371 --> 00:42:40,840 [camera clicking] 1027 00:42:40,873 --> 00:42:42,308 Let me see it. 1028 00:42:42,342 --> 00:42:43,443 Huh. 1029 00:42:43,476 --> 00:42:45,244 What? 1030 00:42:45,277 --> 00:42:46,111 [chuckles] I don't know how you did it, but it got worse. 1031 00:42:46,144 --> 00:42:47,347 [both laughing] 1032 00:42:53,253 --> 00:42:54,922 [Mark groans] 1033 00:43:01,293 --> 00:43:02,929 [Mark] I made an account, 1034 00:43:03,730 --> 00:43:05,965 on that Crush'd thing, whatever you call it. 1035 00:43:05,998 --> 00:43:07,600 Thank god. So did I. 1036 00:43:09,302 --> 00:43:10,871 It feels good to tell you. 1037 00:43:10,903 --> 00:43:12,338 Yeah, it does. I feel a lot better. 1038 00:43:13,907 --> 00:43:15,075 You have to show me yours. 1039 00:43:15,108 --> 00:43:16,276 Only if I can see yours, too. 1040 00:43:19,612 --> 00:43:21,081 [sighs] Oh my god. 1041 00:43:21,114 --> 00:43:24,050 [cellphones beeping] 1042 00:43:25,652 --> 00:43:28,021 This shit so embarrassing. 1043 00:43:28,054 --> 00:43:30,423 Okay, on the count of three. 1044 00:43:30,456 --> 00:43:32,057 - Three, two, one. - One, two, three. 1045 00:43:32,090 --> 00:43:33,359 [cellphones beep] 1046 00:43:33,393 --> 00:43:35,028 Mark, this picture is bad. 1047 00:43:35,061 --> 00:43:36,296 You have a knife in yours. 1048 00:43:36,329 --> 00:43:37,664 - Are you kidding me? - It's a costume. 1049 00:43:37,697 --> 00:43:40,066 Well, it is scary. 1050 00:43:40,099 --> 00:43:41,434 But in a hot way, right? 1051 00:43:41,467 --> 00:43:43,670 No, in like a weird internet person way. 1052 00:43:43,702 --> 00:43:47,539 Like, I cosplay and eat strawberry yogurt at the mall. 1053 00:43:47,572 --> 00:43:49,308 - What? - I love virtual reality. 1054 00:43:49,342 --> 00:43:50,943 I can't believe yours says 1055 00:43:50,976 --> 00:43:52,411 you went to The Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good. 1056 00:43:52,445 --> 00:43:54,347 You know I love "Zoolander." 1057 00:43:54,380 --> 00:43:57,182 You cannot quote "Zoolander" on here, immediate turnoff. 1058 00:43:57,215 --> 00:43:58,150 It's better than nothing. 1059 00:43:58,184 --> 00:43:59,352 I'm being mysterious. 1060 00:43:59,385 --> 00:44:00,253 No one's gonna know what to write you. 1061 00:44:00,286 --> 00:44:02,255 There's no material for an icebreaker. 1062 00:44:02,722 --> 00:44:03,557 Shit. 1063 00:44:04,523 --> 00:44:07,027 I didn't think about that. 1064 00:44:07,059 --> 00:44:09,228 [upbeat music] 1065 00:44:09,262 --> 00:44:10,463 [camera clicking] 1066 00:44:10,496 --> 00:44:13,166 Hmm, okay, now mess up your hair a little bit. 1067 00:44:13,199 --> 00:44:14,668 I don't wanna look like I just fucked my husband. 1068 00:44:14,701 --> 00:44:16,202 But you did just fuck your husband. 1069 00:44:16,235 --> 00:44:17,570 You know what I'm saying. 1070 00:44:17,603 --> 00:44:19,606 Do I? Everything's backwards right now. 1071 00:44:19,639 --> 00:44:22,442 I'm making my own wife look more fuckable for other men. 1072 00:44:22,474 --> 00:44:25,177 [Mary] A lot of girls do this one, like a butt shot. 1073 00:44:26,378 --> 00:44:28,347 Ooh, you're so sexy. 1074 00:44:28,380 --> 00:44:30,349 Take a bite. Take a bite. 1075 00:44:30,382 --> 00:44:32,484 Okay, hold on. Let me do virgin face. 1076 00:44:32,518 --> 00:44:34,320 It's my first time. 1077 00:44:34,353 --> 00:44:38,023 Hmph, my parents are gonna come home soon. [sighs] 1078 00:44:38,056 --> 00:44:40,025 [Mark laughs] [camera clicking] 1079 00:44:40,059 --> 00:44:41,995 [groans] You're blinding me. 1080 00:44:42,027 --> 00:44:43,329 It looks good. Trust me. 1081 00:44:43,362 --> 00:44:44,463 Am I gonna have laser eyes? 1082 00:44:44,496 --> 00:44:46,298 I can edit it. 1083 00:44:46,331 --> 00:44:47,666 Make your sex face. 1084 00:44:47,699 --> 00:44:49,068 You're an animal. 1085 00:44:49,101 --> 00:44:50,069 [Mark purrs] 1086 00:44:50,103 --> 00:44:51,171 [Mary] Okay, one Zoolander, 1087 00:44:51,204 --> 00:44:52,739 'cause I know you're dying to do it. 1088 00:44:52,771 --> 00:44:54,273 Jesus Christ. 1089 00:44:54,474 --> 00:44:55,442 Okay, I can't do this. 1090 00:44:55,474 --> 00:44:56,375 I hate it. I hate it. 1091 00:44:59,344 --> 00:45:02,081 Hey. [chuckles] 1092 00:45:02,114 --> 00:45:02,715 I look good. 1093 00:45:02,748 --> 00:45:03,482 See. 1094 00:45:05,018 --> 00:45:06,385 [bright playful music] 1095 00:45:06,418 --> 00:45:07,453 [Mark laughs] 1096 00:45:07,487 --> 00:45:10,356 - You're gettin' pussy. - Yeah. 1097 00:45:10,389 --> 00:45:12,424 [both laughing] 1098 00:45:12,458 --> 00:45:14,059 Okay, you can do another one. 1099 00:45:14,092 --> 00:45:15,995 ♪ Oh, you the queen ♪ 1100 00:45:16,028 --> 00:45:17,130 ♪ You're the king ♪ 1101 00:45:17,163 --> 00:45:19,431 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1102 00:45:19,465 --> 00:45:20,567 ♪ You the queen ♪ 1103 00:45:20,599 --> 00:45:21,433 ♪ You're the king ♪ 1104 00:45:21,467 --> 00:45:23,570 ♪ We got out aces out ♪ 1105 00:45:23,603 --> 00:45:27,039 ♪ Roll the dice on tonight, go and roll 'em out ♪ 1106 00:45:27,072 --> 00:45:28,674 ♪ Huh ♪ 1107 00:45:28,708 --> 00:45:30,543 ♪ Give me more than enough to go smile about ♪ 1108 00:45:30,576 --> 00:45:32,144 ♪ Aye, aye ♪ 1109 00:45:32,177 --> 00:45:33,712 [knuckles rapping] 1110 00:45:33,746 --> 00:45:35,382 [door creaks] 1111 00:45:35,414 --> 00:45:37,550 - Aunty Carol. - Oh, Mary, I missed you. 1112 00:45:37,583 --> 00:45:39,686 We missed you. Thank you so much for having us. 1113 00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:41,221 [Mark] We appreciate it. 1114 00:45:41,253 --> 00:45:42,454 I don't accept thank-yous. 1115 00:45:42,487 --> 00:45:44,223 What? Well, thank you anyway. 1116 00:45:44,257 --> 00:45:45,657 No. 1117 00:45:45,690 --> 00:45:46,558 - Oh. - Shh. 1118 00:45:46,592 --> 00:45:47,594 - I'm sorry. - Stop. 1119 00:45:47,626 --> 00:45:49,295 I'm so sorry, I didn't mean- 1120 00:45:49,327 --> 00:45:50,730 - It's okay. Come on in. 1121 00:45:51,431 --> 00:45:54,199 When I started, it wasn't all done on the internet, 1122 00:45:54,233 --> 00:45:57,237 wasn't all this swiping left and right and dick pics. 1123 00:45:57,269 --> 00:45:58,670 Right. 1124 00:45:58,704 --> 00:46:00,306 You actually had to talk to people face to face. 1125 00:46:00,338 --> 00:46:02,174 You had to ask them, "Hey, you wanna swing? 1126 00:46:02,208 --> 00:46:05,144 Hey, you wanna get naked with my friend?" 1127 00:46:05,177 --> 00:46:06,378 To the ladies. [glasses clicking] 1128 00:46:06,411 --> 00:46:08,213 - To getting some. - To mad pussy. 1129 00:46:08,246 --> 00:46:09,548 God, it sounds so bad 1130 00:46:09,581 --> 00:46:10,415 - when you say it like that. - I shouldn't have said it. 1131 00:46:10,449 --> 00:46:11,116 - Another one. - This guy, this guy, 1132 00:46:11,150 --> 00:46:11,684 - this, guy, this guy. - Ooh. 1133 00:46:11,717 --> 00:46:13,420 - Come back! - Hey! 1134 00:46:13,452 --> 00:46:14,554 - Hey, Socks. - Come here. 1135 00:46:14,586 --> 00:46:15,722 Hey, you want this? 1136 00:46:15,755 --> 00:46:16,456 - Yo, Socks. - Do you, would you, boy? 1137 00:46:16,489 --> 00:46:17,791 I know you do. 1138 00:46:17,824 --> 00:46:19,626 We should do this all, every day. 1139 00:46:19,659 --> 00:46:20,794 - I agree. - Yeah. 1140 00:46:20,827 --> 00:46:22,295 You're judging me! 1141 00:46:22,327 --> 00:46:23,228 Nobody's judging you. 1142 00:46:23,262 --> 00:46:25,398 [Mark laughs] 1143 00:46:25,431 --> 00:46:27,434 ♪ No new friends, no ♪ 1144 00:46:27,467 --> 00:46:29,302 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1145 00:46:29,335 --> 00:46:30,570 ♪ La-la-la ♪ 1146 00:46:30,603 --> 00:46:31,637 - I'm so drunk. - Oh, is this okay? 1147 00:46:31,670 --> 00:46:32,471 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1148 00:46:32,505 --> 00:46:33,640 ♪ La-la ♪ 1149 00:46:33,672 --> 00:46:35,607 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1150 00:46:35,641 --> 00:46:36,476 ♪ Ah-la-la-la ♪ ♪ No new friends ♪ 1151 00:46:36,509 --> 00:46:38,244 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1152 00:46:38,277 --> 00:46:40,713 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1153 00:46:40,746 --> 00:46:42,782 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1154 00:46:42,815 --> 00:46:45,518 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1155 00:46:45,550 --> 00:46:47,554 ♪ Oh, when the sun goes down ♪ 1156 00:46:47,586 --> 00:46:49,755 ♪ And when it comes back up ♪ 1157 00:46:49,789 --> 00:46:52,158 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1158 00:46:52,190 --> 00:46:54,460 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1159 00:46:54,494 --> 00:46:56,463 ♪ Oh, when the sun goes down ♪ 1160 00:46:56,496 --> 00:46:59,532 Hot. I mean, [groans]. 1161 00:46:59,565 --> 00:47:01,166 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1162 00:47:01,199 --> 00:47:04,236 ♪ We got our aces out ♪ 1163 00:47:04,269 --> 00:47:05,605 Anyway, I'm dating a man now. 1164 00:47:05,637 --> 00:47:07,440 Oh. That's great. 1165 00:47:07,472 --> 00:47:08,574 I hadn't have dick in a long time, 1166 00:47:08,608 --> 00:47:10,610 so it's really a good change of pace. 1167 00:47:10,643 --> 00:47:11,610 [Aunty Carol] I didn't know what I was missing. 1168 00:47:11,643 --> 00:47:12,478 Ew! 1169 00:47:12,512 --> 00:47:14,180 Dick is awesome. 1170 00:47:14,213 --> 00:47:15,448 So insane. 1171 00:47:15,481 --> 00:47:16,516 This is how you've always wanted it, right? 1172 00:47:16,548 --> 00:47:17,516 [Mary laughs] 1173 00:47:17,550 --> 00:47:18,651 Go ahead, shoot me. Shoot me. 1174 00:47:18,684 --> 00:47:19,619 [Mary imitates gun banging] 1175 00:47:19,652 --> 00:47:20,854 [Mark grunts] 1176 00:47:20,887 --> 00:47:22,355 Do we really need this? 1177 00:47:22,387 --> 00:47:23,222 Yes. 1178 00:47:23,255 --> 00:47:24,790 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1179 00:47:24,824 --> 00:47:27,126 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1180 00:47:27,159 --> 00:47:27,693 ♪ No new friends ♪ 1181 00:47:27,726 --> 00:47:29,561 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1182 00:47:29,594 --> 00:47:31,563 ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 1183 00:47:31,597 --> 00:47:33,166 ♪ No new friends ♪ 1184 00:47:33,199 --> 00:47:34,634 - [groans] We're so sweaty. - Yes, you're workin' hard. 1185 00:47:34,666 --> 00:47:36,268 ♪ La-la-la-la ♪ 1186 00:47:36,302 --> 00:47:39,439 ♪ No new friends ♪ 1187 00:47:39,472 --> 00:47:41,641 [Mark gags] 1188 00:47:41,673 --> 00:47:43,809 And what rules are working for you guys? 1189 00:47:43,842 --> 00:47:46,278 That's a stupid question. 1190 00:47:46,311 --> 00:47:50,116 The whole point of being open is there's no restrictions. 1191 00:47:50,916 --> 00:47:52,851 Rules are the death of life. 1192 00:47:52,885 --> 00:47:55,188 [dramatic music] 1193 00:47:55,221 --> 00:47:57,590 [Mark groaning] 1194 00:48:03,862 --> 00:48:08,634 [pulsing upbeat music] [singer harmonizing] 1195 00:48:10,936 --> 00:48:11,871 We need a new rule. 1196 00:48:13,739 --> 00:48:16,342 How about no sleeping with other people in our apartment? 1197 00:48:16,375 --> 00:48:17,409 [Mary] Our space. 1198 00:48:17,443 --> 00:48:18,511 Yes. 1199 00:48:18,543 --> 00:48:19,444 I mean, I don't think anyone's 1200 00:48:19,478 --> 00:48:20,646 gonna wanna be in here anyway. 1201 00:48:20,679 --> 00:48:21,681 Yeah, it's a health hazard. 1202 00:48:21,713 --> 00:48:23,349 [both laugh] 1203 00:48:23,382 --> 00:48:25,251 So we need any other rules? 1204 00:48:25,284 --> 00:48:25,818 Mm. 1205 00:48:26,851 --> 00:48:27,853 I don't know. 1206 00:48:29,688 --> 00:48:32,391 You haven't been telling me about 1207 00:48:33,326 --> 00:48:35,461 what's been goin' on. 1208 00:48:35,494 --> 00:48:36,796 You really wanna know? 1209 00:48:36,829 --> 00:48:37,964 Yeah, what's it been like sleeping with someone 1210 00:48:37,996 --> 00:48:38,931 who's not me? 1211 00:48:42,668 --> 00:48:44,304 Mm, good? 1212 00:48:44,336 --> 00:48:45,505 That's good. 1213 00:48:45,538 --> 00:48:47,773 [sighs] It feels so weird talking about it. 1214 00:48:47,806 --> 00:48:50,709 That's part of it, though. I wanted to know the truth. 1215 00:48:51,510 --> 00:48:54,381 I guess I just feel like I can't articulate it yet. 1216 00:48:54,947 --> 00:48:55,815 Is that okay? 1217 00:48:57,416 --> 00:48:58,285 That's okay. 1218 00:48:59,684 --> 00:49:01,554 [soft lighthearted music] 1219 00:49:01,586 --> 00:49:06,358 [moves to bright music] [Mark and Mary moaning] 1220 00:49:08,661 --> 00:49:09,963 Oh god. 1221 00:49:09,996 --> 00:49:14,267 [Mark and Mary sighing] 1222 00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:16,236 What just happened? 1223 00:49:16,268 --> 00:49:17,469 That was so good. 1224 00:49:18,637 --> 00:49:20,973 [Mark sighs] 1225 00:49:22,675 --> 00:49:24,644 I have another rule idea. 1226 00:49:24,677 --> 00:49:25,679 Hit me. 1227 00:49:28,914 --> 00:49:30,650 We try a threesome. 1228 00:49:30,682 --> 00:49:31,818 That's not really a rule. 1229 00:49:31,851 --> 00:49:33,286 No, you're right. 1230 00:49:33,318 --> 00:49:35,320 Stupid idea, I don't know why I 1231 00:49:35,353 --> 00:49:36,321 - brought it up. - I'm in. 1232 00:49:36,355 --> 00:49:37,289 Really? 1233 00:49:37,322 --> 00:49:38,590 [Mary] Yeah. 1234 00:49:38,623 --> 00:49:40,425 Okay. 1235 00:49:40,458 --> 00:49:41,393 Where do we find her? 1236 00:49:41,427 --> 00:49:42,028 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1237 00:49:42,061 --> 00:49:43,596 [Mark] What? 1238 00:49:43,628 --> 00:49:45,431 It's automatically a girl? 1239 00:49:45,463 --> 00:49:46,632 I'm not crossin' swords. 1240 00:49:46,666 --> 00:49:47,767 Don't be homophobic. 1241 00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,402 That's not homophobic. 1242 00:49:49,434 --> 00:49:51,670 A threesome with a magical unicorn girl 1243 00:49:51,704 --> 00:49:53,573 is you thinking about your pleasure before mine. 1244 00:49:53,606 --> 00:49:54,974 You can get stuff done to you. 1245 00:49:55,007 --> 00:49:56,608 Stuff done to me? 1246 00:49:56,641 --> 00:49:58,377 It would be for both of us. 1247 00:49:58,411 --> 00:50:01,914 Okay, I'm down, I really am, if it's equal. 1248 00:50:01,947 --> 00:50:04,017 Since when do you have such a binary view of gender? 1249 00:50:04,050 --> 00:50:05,818 I'll correct myself, 1250 00:50:05,851 --> 00:50:07,987 one with a vagina and one with a penis. 1251 00:50:08,019 --> 00:50:09,588 I'm all about equality, baby. 1252 00:50:09,621 --> 00:50:10,856 But I don't want a penis near me. 1253 00:50:10,889 --> 00:50:13,058 You live with a penis near you! 1254 00:50:13,092 --> 00:50:14,927 It's on your person. 1255 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,628 That's not a good argument. 1256 00:50:16,661 --> 00:50:17,696 Then I don't want a vagina near me. 1257 00:50:17,730 --> 00:50:18,697 [Mark groans] 1258 00:50:18,731 --> 00:50:20,733 What? I'm using your logic. 1259 00:50:20,766 --> 00:50:23,068 It's not my logic, 'cause you've been with girls before. 1260 00:50:23,101 --> 00:50:24,971 This could be life-changing. 1261 00:50:25,003 --> 00:50:26,038 Can we try the girl way first? 1262 00:50:26,072 --> 00:50:27,472 I see what you're doing, 1263 00:50:27,505 --> 00:50:29,442 and you're not getting out of it like that. 1264 00:50:29,474 --> 00:50:30,842 We will have a threesome with someone 1265 00:50:30,876 --> 00:50:33,780 who identifies as a man. 1266 00:50:33,813 --> 00:50:35,882 And as a reward, we'll have a threesome with someone 1267 00:50:35,914 --> 00:50:37,382 who identifies as a woman. 1268 00:50:37,416 --> 00:50:38,885 We're on a reward system now? 1269 00:50:38,918 --> 00:50:40,820 What am I, a dog getting treats? 1270 00:50:40,853 --> 00:50:42,454 You're a dog gettin' pussy. 1271 00:50:42,788 --> 00:50:43,822 [Mark barks] 1272 00:50:43,856 --> 00:50:46,693 [Mary laughs] 1273 00:50:46,726 --> 00:50:48,827 Oh my god, so you guys are actually going to- 1274 00:50:48,860 --> 00:50:50,663 - Yep. - If we can find someone. 1275 00:50:50,695 --> 00:50:51,931 You sound shady like that. 1276 00:50:51,963 --> 00:50:53,932 Is it weird that we're telling your sister? 1277 00:50:53,965 --> 00:50:55,867 We tell each other everything. 1278 00:50:55,900 --> 00:50:57,002 Everything? 1279 00:50:57,036 --> 00:50:58,070 [clears throat] Wait, do you... 1280 00:50:58,403 --> 00:51:00,405 Like, everything, everything? 1281 00:51:00,438 --> 00:51:01,440 Yeah. 1282 00:51:01,474 --> 00:51:02,575 Huh. 1283 00:51:03,509 --> 00:51:04,543 Sick. 1284 00:51:05,510 --> 00:51:07,447 Um, okay, well... 1285 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:11,117 Um, yeah, I mean, I'm sure you guys can find a third. 1286 00:51:11,150 --> 00:51:12,518 Why haven't we talked about this? 1287 00:51:12,550 --> 00:51:14,353 [Kyle] Don't look at me. 1288 00:51:14,387 --> 00:51:15,355 [Mark] We weren't. 1289 00:51:15,387 --> 00:51:16,855 Do not look at me either. 1290 00:51:16,889 --> 00:51:18,591 We weren't. 1291 00:51:18,623 --> 00:51:19,792 Although... 1292 00:51:20,393 --> 00:51:23,628 Lana, you wouldn't be interested, would you? 1293 00:51:23,661 --> 00:51:25,364 - Hey, what? - Well, hey. [laughs] 1294 00:51:25,398 --> 00:51:26,865 What, you don't, even hypothetically, 1295 00:51:26,898 --> 00:51:28,000 want me as your third? 1296 00:51:28,032 --> 00:51:28,933 You just said you didn't want to. 1297 00:51:28,967 --> 00:51:30,034 Yeah, but I'd like an offer to reject. 1298 00:51:30,068 --> 00:51:33,438 It is kind of perfect. We do need a male third, too. 1299 00:51:33,472 --> 00:51:34,874 Hey. 1300 00:51:34,907 --> 00:51:36,476 Okay, let's not share everything with the group. 1301 00:51:36,509 --> 00:51:37,976 No, we share. 1302 00:51:38,010 --> 00:51:39,145 Yeah. 1303 00:51:39,177 --> 00:51:40,446 Wait, hold on, would you guys... 1304 00:51:41,213 --> 00:51:43,782 Would you guys pay me for my services? 1305 00:51:43,815 --> 00:51:44,884 - No. - No. 1306 00:51:45,818 --> 00:51:47,020 No? 1307 00:51:47,552 --> 00:51:48,820 Why not? I'm broke, and I need money. 1308 00:51:48,853 --> 00:51:50,155 We don't have any money. 1309 00:51:50,188 --> 00:51:52,924 Okay, but I feel like prostituting myself... 1310 00:51:52,958 --> 00:51:54,394 Thank you. 1311 00:51:54,994 --> 00:51:57,764 If it's to friends, it's not completely unreasonable. 1312 00:51:57,797 --> 00:51:59,398 Am I right? 1313 00:51:59,431 --> 00:52:00,165 [Mark] Who's paying what? 1314 00:52:00,199 --> 00:52:01,800 Let's just split it. 1315 00:52:01,833 --> 00:52:03,168 No way. I only got sides. 1316 00:52:03,202 --> 00:52:05,138 Yeah, me too. Also, you're my elder. 1317 00:52:05,170 --> 00:52:06,571 That doesn't mean I pay for you. 1318 00:52:06,605 --> 00:52:07,807 Why can't it mean that? 1319 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:09,475 Dad pays for your whole life. 1320 00:52:09,507 --> 00:52:10,742 Okay, why don't we just... 1321 00:52:10,775 --> 00:52:12,844 We'll tally it up card by card. 1322 00:52:12,878 --> 00:52:14,947 We're all adults, right? 1323 00:52:14,980 --> 00:52:16,548 [Mary] [sighs] All right, what are you guys tipping? 1324 00:52:16,581 --> 00:52:17,784 20%. 1325 00:52:17,817 --> 00:52:18,951 18%. 1326 00:52:18,983 --> 00:52:19,885 17. 1327 00:52:19,918 --> 00:52:21,520 18%. 1328 00:52:21,554 --> 00:52:22,454 12. 1329 00:52:23,722 --> 00:52:25,024 12 what? 1330 00:52:25,056 --> 00:52:26,625 - Percent. - Percent, babe, [laughs] 1331 00:52:26,659 --> 00:52:28,427 you can't just do 12%. 1332 00:52:28,460 --> 00:52:30,663 She was really slow, and she brought me decaf. 1333 00:52:31,864 --> 00:52:32,932 Fuck all of you. 1334 00:52:33,998 --> 00:52:35,667 Okay. 1335 00:52:35,701 --> 00:52:36,668 Except you. 1336 00:52:36,702 --> 00:52:37,437 Oh. 1337 00:52:38,971 --> 00:52:42,108 [clock ticking] 1338 00:52:42,141 --> 00:52:43,041 [Mark] My dad just shipped us 1339 00:52:43,074 --> 00:52:44,609 the first Life Cup prototype. 1340 00:52:44,643 --> 00:52:45,811 Life Cup? 1341 00:52:45,844 --> 00:52:47,112 Our spit test. 1342 00:52:47,146 --> 00:52:48,714 Yeah, I know, I just... 1343 00:52:48,746 --> 00:52:50,048 You're calling it the Life Cup? 1344 00:52:50,081 --> 00:52:51,683 Yeah. It was your idea, remember? 1345 00:52:54,652 --> 00:52:55,554 You don't like it? 1346 00:52:55,588 --> 00:52:58,524 It's just super Republican. 1347 00:52:58,556 --> 00:52:59,491 What are you talking about? 1348 00:52:59,525 --> 00:53:01,626 Like, why can't it be called the Choice Cup 1349 00:53:01,659 --> 00:53:04,230 or Information Cup? 1350 00:53:04,262 --> 00:53:06,097 Probably 'cause those aren't good names. 1351 00:53:06,130 --> 00:53:10,168 [cellphone chimes] [cellphone vibrates] 1352 00:53:10,202 --> 00:53:12,104 [suspenseful music] 1353 00:53:12,137 --> 00:53:13,639 Holy shit. 1354 00:53:13,672 --> 00:53:15,474 Wait, don't say anything yet. 1355 00:53:15,507 --> 00:53:16,875 Should we play dumb? 1356 00:53:16,909 --> 00:53:17,977 We need to strategize. 1357 00:53:21,547 --> 00:53:23,615 It doesn't hurt to make her wait a little too. 1358 00:53:24,916 --> 00:53:26,552 Do we really wanna do this? 1359 00:53:26,786 --> 00:53:27,720 Do you? 1360 00:53:29,755 --> 00:53:30,990 - Yes. - Okay, then fuck it. 1361 00:53:31,023 --> 00:53:33,025 The situation is presenting itself. 1362 00:53:33,057 --> 00:53:34,193 Yeah, but we kind of presented it to her. 1363 00:53:34,226 --> 00:53:35,628 You did. 1364 00:53:35,661 --> 00:53:36,996 You're not gonna get mad at me 1365 00:53:37,028 --> 00:53:38,264 'cause we did it with a girl first? 1366 00:53:38,297 --> 00:53:39,699 You're not gonna hold it against me later? 1367 00:53:39,731 --> 00:53:42,134 I reserve the right to have any feeling I want, 1368 00:53:42,166 --> 00:53:43,702 any time that I want. 1369 00:53:43,735 --> 00:53:44,536 Mary. 1370 00:53:46,137 --> 00:53:47,139 Fine, I won't. 1371 00:53:48,206 --> 00:53:49,074 Really? 1372 00:53:49,108 --> 00:53:50,510 I won't get mad. 1373 00:53:51,244 --> 00:53:53,913 In for what, question mark, ha dash ha. 1374 00:53:53,945 --> 00:53:56,581 Don't voice text. You sound like a serial killer. 1375 00:53:56,614 --> 00:53:57,817 Why? It's easier. 1376 00:53:57,849 --> 00:53:59,050 [message whooshes] [tense music] 1377 00:53:59,083 --> 00:54:00,819 Oh shit. 1378 00:54:00,853 --> 00:54:03,623 [cellphone chimes] 1379 00:54:04,889 --> 00:54:06,057 She knows we're panicking. 1380 00:54:06,090 --> 00:54:07,293 I don't think we're panicking. 1381 00:54:07,326 --> 00:54:08,126 [cellphone chimes] 1382 00:54:08,159 --> 00:54:11,498 [tense music quickens] 1383 00:54:17,001 --> 00:54:19,771 [knuckles rapping] 1384 00:54:25,945 --> 00:54:27,613 Hi. 1385 00:54:27,646 --> 00:54:28,181 Hey. 1386 00:54:30,081 --> 00:54:30,884 Hi. 1387 00:54:31,849 --> 00:54:32,817 Three. 1388 00:54:32,851 --> 00:54:33,786 [All] Two, one. 1389 00:54:35,019 --> 00:54:36,956 [gritty energetic music] 1390 00:54:36,989 --> 00:54:39,324 Oh my god, Jesus Christ. 1391 00:54:39,358 --> 00:54:40,260 Whew. 1392 00:54:41,693 --> 00:54:42,961 Oh! 1393 00:54:42,994 --> 00:54:45,163 I really like your mustache. 1394 00:54:45,197 --> 00:54:46,065 You do? 1395 00:54:46,097 --> 00:54:48,000 Yeah. 1396 00:54:48,032 --> 00:54:49,935 Thank you. [coughs] 1397 00:54:49,969 --> 00:54:51,704 [Lana laughs] 1398 00:54:51,737 --> 00:54:52,639 - Oh. - Yeah. 1399 00:54:54,005 --> 00:54:56,576 [Mary laughing] 1400 00:54:58,677 --> 00:54:59,745 Have you ever done coke before? 1401 00:54:59,777 --> 00:55:00,980 - No. - You wanna do some cocaine? 1402 00:55:01,012 --> 00:55:01,980 - Okay. - Yeah? 1403 00:55:02,014 --> 00:55:03,649 [growls] You wanna do coke? 1404 00:55:03,681 --> 00:55:07,185 [dark upbeat music] [singer singing faintly] 1405 00:55:07,219 --> 00:55:10,021 Ooh, I did not give you a baby line. 1406 00:55:10,054 --> 00:55:11,123 Excuse me, girl, but... 1407 00:55:11,155 --> 00:55:12,657 [Lana and Mary laughing] 1408 00:55:12,690 --> 00:55:15,360 Hey, come here. I made this song just for you. 1409 00:55:15,393 --> 00:55:16,227 Come here. 1410 00:55:16,260 --> 00:55:18,130 [drumbeat pounding] 1411 00:55:18,163 --> 00:55:21,067 [Lana sings indistinctly] 1412 00:55:21,099 --> 00:55:23,034 [Mary] It's my favorite song! 1413 00:55:23,068 --> 00:55:24,604 Yes! Oh shit! 1414 00:55:30,309 --> 00:55:32,644 [soft sultry music] 1415 00:55:32,677 --> 00:55:34,813 ♪ Come into my bedroom ♪ 1416 00:55:34,847 --> 00:55:37,149 ♪ Walk in like you used to ♪ 1417 00:55:37,181 --> 00:55:39,050 ♪ Say you'll never leave me lonely ♪ 1418 00:55:39,083 --> 00:55:41,186 ♪ Tell me how you want me only ♪ 1419 00:55:41,219 --> 00:55:42,087 ♪ Come into my ♪ 1420 00:55:42,121 --> 00:55:42,889 Guys. 1421 00:55:45,324 --> 00:55:47,927 ♪ And let me love you ♪ 1422 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:48,860 [sighs] Guys. 1423 00:55:51,764 --> 00:55:53,265 Hey, guys. 1424 00:55:53,297 --> 00:55:54,333 - What? - Babe. 1425 00:55:56,068 --> 00:55:57,203 Include me. 1426 00:55:57,235 --> 00:55:59,739 Of course, babe. 1427 00:55:59,771 --> 00:56:01,106 Of course, babe. 1428 00:56:01,139 --> 00:56:02,407 Whatever. 1429 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,143 I guess I'm supposed to not say that. 1430 00:56:04,175 --> 00:56:05,644 I'm supposed to be suave and find a way 1431 00:56:05,677 --> 00:56:06,811 to grow a second dick. 1432 00:56:06,844 --> 00:56:09,881 [Lana and Mary laugh] 1433 00:56:11,916 --> 00:56:13,418 Second dick? 1434 00:56:13,452 --> 00:56:16,122 [Mary] Dos dick-os! [laughs] 1435 00:56:16,155 --> 00:56:20,793 ♪ All wanna do is us ♪ 1436 00:56:20,826 --> 00:56:24,262 ♪ Boy, I reminisce how we touch and kiss ♪ 1437 00:56:24,295 --> 00:56:29,201 ♪ And come into my bedroom ♪ 1438 00:56:29,233 --> 00:56:32,070 ♪ Oh whoa ♪ 1439 00:56:32,103 --> 00:56:33,772 ♪ Be mine ♪ 1440 00:56:33,806 --> 00:56:38,177 ♪ All I wanna do is you ♪ 1441 00:56:38,210 --> 00:56:41,981 ♪ Sentimental soul, heart with no control ♪ 1442 00:56:42,014 --> 00:56:46,952 ♪ And all I wanna do is us ♪ 1443 00:56:46,985 --> 00:56:50,389 ♪ Boy, I reminisce how we touch and kiss ♪ 1444 00:56:50,422 --> 00:56:55,260 ♪ And come into my bedroom ♪ 1445 00:56:56,228 --> 00:56:57,463 ♪ Oh whoa ♪ 1446 00:56:57,496 --> 00:56:59,798 [Mary retches] 1447 00:56:59,831 --> 00:57:01,933 [Mary groans] 1448 00:57:12,844 --> 00:57:16,281 Tell me everything. Did it freak you out? 1449 00:57:16,315 --> 00:57:17,983 Did he pay more attention to her? 1450 00:57:18,016 --> 00:57:20,985 Um, sometimes. 1451 00:57:21,018 --> 00:57:22,821 Did he penetrate her? 1452 00:57:22,855 --> 00:57:24,155 Penetrate? 1453 00:57:24,188 --> 00:57:26,257 Oh my god, that's a yes. 1454 00:57:26,291 --> 00:57:27,760 I mean, yeah, it's... 1455 00:57:27,793 --> 00:57:28,961 That's what a threesome is. 1456 00:57:30,929 --> 00:57:32,431 You weren't freaking out? 1457 00:57:32,463 --> 00:57:33,398 I can't freak out. 1458 00:57:33,431 --> 00:57:34,833 Be human. 1459 00:57:34,867 --> 00:57:36,702 Okay, I freaked out a little bit. 1460 00:57:37,637 --> 00:57:42,141 The idea of it never mattered, but actually seeing it enter, 1461 00:57:42,907 --> 00:57:43,808 I don't know. 1462 00:57:43,842 --> 00:57:45,744 Oh my god, where did he come? 1463 00:57:46,045 --> 00:57:48,880 I've always wondered the politics of that. 1464 00:57:48,914 --> 00:57:51,050 Like, was it like a hose? 1465 00:57:51,083 --> 00:57:53,251 You're doing it like he knighted both of us 1466 00:57:53,284 --> 00:57:54,385 - with his cum. - Yeah, I mean- 1467 00:57:54,418 --> 00:57:55,153 - No. 1468 00:57:57,121 --> 00:57:58,790 You're sick. 1469 00:57:58,824 --> 00:58:01,293 Okay, I'm not the one that had a threesome, thank you. 1470 00:58:01,326 --> 00:58:02,494 Move. I'm gonna fart on you. 1471 00:58:02,527 --> 00:58:04,195 ♪ It's only natural ♪ 1472 00:58:04,228 --> 00:58:05,297 [AJ] Tell us everything. 1473 00:58:05,329 --> 00:58:06,431 Gentleman never tells. 1474 00:58:06,465 --> 00:58:07,500 Bullshit, how did you get married 1475 00:58:07,532 --> 00:58:09,268 and start having more sex? 1476 00:58:09,300 --> 00:58:10,369 Oh, it just happened. 1477 00:58:10,402 --> 00:58:11,202 I hate you, Mark. 1478 00:58:11,235 --> 00:58:13,105 I hate you so much. 1479 00:58:13,137 --> 00:58:14,373 Did your dick get nervous? 1480 00:58:14,405 --> 00:58:15,373 Probably got stage fright, right? 1481 00:58:15,407 --> 00:58:17,876 You're like, oh, it's too much stimulation. 1482 00:58:17,909 --> 00:58:19,377 - Here I am, here I am. - Oh goodness, oh no. 1483 00:58:19,411 --> 00:58:21,280 - What do I do, what do I do? - Oh no, no, my dick. 1484 00:58:21,313 --> 00:58:23,382 There's too many holes. [Kyle groaning] 1485 00:58:23,414 --> 00:58:27,353 [AJ and Kyle vocalizing goofily] 1486 00:58:29,221 --> 00:58:30,822 [Kyle laughs] 1487 00:58:30,856 --> 00:58:32,958 I did drink so much I was worried I wasn't gonna get 1488 00:58:32,990 --> 00:58:34,025 [music stops] fully hard. 1489 00:58:35,126 --> 00:58:36,961 [AJ and Kyle laugh] 1490 00:58:36,994 --> 00:58:39,264 Were you? Were you fully hard? 1491 00:58:39,297 --> 00:58:42,167 Yeah. It was fucking awesome. 1492 00:58:42,201 --> 00:58:43,434 [Mark grunts] 1493 00:58:43,467 --> 00:58:46,038 [mellow music] 1494 00:58:47,972 --> 00:58:49,275 [Mary] Do you think Mom ever had a threesome? 1495 00:58:50,375 --> 00:58:51,110 Probably. 1496 00:58:53,244 --> 00:58:55,047 Why don't we ever talk about her? 1497 00:58:55,246 --> 00:58:56,548 I don't know. 1498 00:58:57,315 --> 00:58:59,083 I love looking at old photos of her 1499 00:58:59,117 --> 00:59:00,452 when she was pregnant with us. 1500 00:59:01,219 --> 00:59:04,022 I was doing that the other day, actually, so cute. 1501 00:59:06,992 --> 00:59:09,028 That's why I didn't have a real wedding. 1502 00:59:09,061 --> 00:59:11,063 It didn't make sense to do it without her, you know? 1503 00:59:12,197 --> 00:59:13,332 She'd fucking hate Mark, too. 1504 00:59:13,364 --> 00:59:15,099 Hate Mark. [Tori laughs] 1505 00:59:15,132 --> 00:59:16,434 - That mustache would not- - His mustache! 1506 00:59:16,467 --> 00:59:17,301 - Nah, yeah, I know. - I was just gonna 1507 00:59:17,335 --> 00:59:19,137 - say that. - I know, I know, I know. 1508 00:59:19,170 --> 00:59:20,271 She'd freak. 1509 00:59:20,304 --> 00:59:23,576 [mellow music continues] 1510 00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,503 [low synth music] 1511 00:59:51,936 --> 00:59:53,172 ♪ Don't wait up for me ♪ 1512 00:59:53,204 --> 00:59:54,239 [Both] Cheers. 1513 00:59:59,311 --> 01:00:00,546 - Wow. - It works. 1514 01:00:00,579 --> 01:00:02,048 Do you normally pick that? 1515 01:00:03,215 --> 01:00:04,016 Is it not good? 1516 01:00:04,048 --> 01:00:05,416 [Alexandra laughs] 1517 01:00:05,449 --> 01:00:08,052 ♪ 'Cause I'm gonna, I'm gonna be ♪ 1518 01:00:08,085 --> 01:00:10,455 ♪ Havin' myself a good time ♪ 1519 01:00:10,489 --> 01:00:12,458 ♪ Without ♪ 1520 01:00:12,490 --> 01:00:17,362 ♪ Without you ♪ 1521 01:00:19,264 --> 01:00:21,500 ♪ Havin' myself a good time ♪ 1522 01:00:21,532 --> 01:00:24,402 [cellphone chiming] 1523 01:00:30,509 --> 01:00:31,610 Who's that? 1524 01:00:31,643 --> 01:00:34,346 Oh, it's, uh, just my wife. 1525 01:00:34,378 --> 01:00:36,949 [Alexandra laughs] 1526 01:00:36,981 --> 01:00:39,317 [Mark chuckles] 1527 01:00:49,994 --> 01:00:52,330 [Mary retching] 1528 01:00:56,534 --> 01:00:58,136 What'd you drink last night? 1529 01:00:58,170 --> 01:00:59,271 I didn't. 1530 01:00:59,771 --> 01:01:01,206 What did you do last night? 1531 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:02,641 Was it tequila again? 1532 01:01:02,673 --> 01:01:04,143 No, I stayed home 1533 01:01:04,175 --> 01:01:06,478 and played Word Streak on my phone all night. 1534 01:01:07,112 --> 01:01:09,181 Did you order from the Thai place or something? 1535 01:01:10,315 --> 01:01:11,182 No. 1536 01:01:14,686 --> 01:01:17,189 [tense music] 1537 01:01:18,623 --> 01:01:23,429 [fingers snapping] [singer harmonizing] 1538 01:01:26,264 --> 01:01:28,166 Okay, what do I do? 1539 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,469 You just spit in the center part where the circle is. 1540 01:01:30,501 --> 01:01:32,704 See? Right there. 1541 01:01:32,737 --> 01:01:33,972 And how do I know if I'm- 1542 01:01:34,005 --> 01:01:35,273 - It should turn dark purple. 1543 01:01:35,306 --> 01:01:36,240 Really? 1544 01:01:36,273 --> 01:01:37,208 Yeah. 1545 01:01:38,643 --> 01:01:39,978 It's a good idea. 1546 01:01:40,012 --> 01:01:41,981 Yeah, I know, it's, um... 1547 01:01:42,014 --> 01:01:43,716 I'm not criticizing you, it's... 1548 01:01:43,748 --> 01:01:45,216 Okay. 1549 01:01:45,250 --> 01:01:46,085 It's great. 1550 01:01:47,452 --> 01:01:49,956 How do I know if I'm not pregnant? 1551 01:01:50,755 --> 01:01:52,490 It should turn dark green. 1552 01:01:53,291 --> 01:01:56,394 If we pick different colors, like if we chose blue and pink, 1553 01:01:56,427 --> 01:01:58,096 then people would assume that the Life Cup predicts gender, 1554 01:01:58,130 --> 01:01:58,764 and it doesn't predict- 1555 01:01:58,797 --> 01:02:00,165 - Okay, how about no colors? 1556 01:02:02,534 --> 01:02:03,602 [Mary gurgles] 1557 01:02:10,141 --> 01:02:11,376 Is that enough for you? 1558 01:02:11,409 --> 01:02:13,612 [tense music] 1559 01:02:13,644 --> 01:02:15,047 We need to go to the store. 1560 01:02:15,079 --> 01:02:16,047 [Mark] Why? 1561 01:02:16,081 --> 01:02:17,283 We need to get a real test. 1562 01:02:17,483 --> 01:02:18,550 This is a real test. 1563 01:02:18,583 --> 01:02:20,318 No, it's not. It's not science. 1564 01:02:20,351 --> 01:02:21,586 It's a fucking mood ring. 1565 01:02:26,724 --> 01:02:28,126 [upbeat pop music] 1566 01:02:28,159 --> 01:02:32,431 ♪ Baby, baby, I'm taken with the notion ♪ 1567 01:02:34,166 --> 01:02:37,436 ♪ To love you with the sweetest of devotion ♪ 1568 01:02:37,469 --> 01:02:42,407 ♪ Baby, baby, my tender love will flow from ♪ 1569 01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:44,475 ♪ The bluest sky to the ♪ 1570 01:02:44,509 --> 01:02:49,347 [Mary sighs] [water sloshing] 1571 01:02:51,715 --> 01:02:53,818 [toilet flushes] 1572 01:02:53,851 --> 01:02:55,653 Three minutes. 1573 01:02:55,686 --> 01:02:56,588 I know. 1574 01:03:01,259 --> 01:03:03,362 [Mary sighs] 1575 01:03:09,768 --> 01:03:12,103 You wanna sing me a song? 1576 01:03:13,637 --> 01:03:14,639 Not really. 1577 01:03:16,875 --> 01:03:19,545 [uneasy music] 1578 01:03:19,577 --> 01:03:21,280 I told you. 1579 01:03:21,313 --> 01:03:22,847 Really? You're going to hit me with an, "I told you so"? 1580 01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:23,815 The mood ring was accurate. 1581 01:03:23,849 --> 01:03:25,651 It had a 50-50 chance. 1582 01:03:25,684 --> 01:03:27,252 Why are you being like this? 1583 01:03:27,284 --> 01:03:28,686 Can't you see that I'm fucking pregnant right now? 1584 01:03:28,719 --> 01:03:30,621 Yeah, what if it's not my kid? 1585 01:03:30,655 --> 01:03:32,591 Why would it not be your kid? 1586 01:03:32,623 --> 01:03:33,457 I don't know, because you've been having 1587 01:03:33,492 --> 01:03:35,627 a sweaty fuck parade with other men? 1588 01:03:35,659 --> 01:03:37,462 You've been having a sweaty fuck parade, too. 1589 01:03:37,496 --> 01:03:39,530 I'm being punished because a dick can't give birth 1590 01:03:39,563 --> 01:03:40,364 and a vagina can? 1591 01:03:40,398 --> 01:03:41,533 What? 1592 01:03:41,565 --> 01:03:42,500 Besides, I'm on the pill. 1593 01:03:42,534 --> 01:03:43,769 Okay, we both know 1594 01:03:43,802 --> 01:03:45,437 you don't take the pill consistently enough. 1595 01:03:45,469 --> 01:03:46,571 You're supposed to take it every day 1596 01:03:46,605 --> 01:03:47,639 at the exact same time. 1597 01:03:47,672 --> 01:03:49,173 And I told you to get an IUD. 1598 01:03:49,206 --> 01:03:51,542 Stop talking to me like you're my gynecologist. 1599 01:03:51,576 --> 01:03:53,344 Why don't we get a wishbone and put it in your penis hole 1600 01:03:53,378 --> 01:03:54,780 and see how that feels? 1601 01:03:54,813 --> 01:03:56,315 - No. - Or why don't you start taking the male pill, bro. 1602 01:03:56,347 --> 01:03:57,849 It doesn't exist yet, bro. 1603 01:03:57,882 --> 01:03:59,884 Okay, well, I use a condom with anyone who's not you. 1604 01:03:59,918 --> 01:04:01,320 How can I know that? 1605 01:04:01,353 --> 01:04:03,655 Then why don't you stick a GoPro inside me. 1606 01:04:03,688 --> 01:04:05,557 Oh, but you gotta choose, IUD or GoPro, 1607 01:04:05,590 --> 01:04:06,490 which one's are gonna be? 1608 01:04:06,525 --> 01:04:07,860 For all we know, there's some girl out there 1609 01:04:07,893 --> 01:04:09,360 who's pregnant with your baby, 1610 01:04:09,393 --> 01:04:10,628 'cause you're using special needs condoms. 1611 01:04:10,661 --> 01:04:11,896 Mary, my allergy is serious. 1612 01:04:11,929 --> 01:04:14,198 It could be fatal with enough exposure. 1613 01:04:14,231 --> 01:04:17,135 It's an excuse that men use who don't wanna wear condoms. 1614 01:04:17,168 --> 01:04:17,869 You need to get tested. 1615 01:04:17,902 --> 01:04:19,770 You need to get tested, 1616 01:04:19,804 --> 01:04:21,539 and you should probably get a paternity test, too, 1617 01:04:21,572 --> 01:04:22,807 - if you're so worried about it. - I'm not doing that. 1618 01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:24,275 What do you want from me? 1619 01:04:25,610 --> 01:04:28,481 [soft upbeat music] 1620 01:04:39,356 --> 01:04:40,659 [Practitioner] I'm just gonna do a swap for the DNA test. 1621 01:04:40,692 --> 01:04:41,793 - Okay? - Okay. 1622 01:04:41,826 --> 01:04:42,594 Open. 1623 01:04:50,802 --> 01:04:52,570 All right, and Dr. Kurtzman will be with you 1624 01:04:52,603 --> 01:04:53,571 in just a moment. 1625 01:04:53,605 --> 01:04:54,405 Okay. Thanks. 1626 01:05:02,713 --> 01:05:04,750 Oh, you're married. That's good. 1627 01:05:04,782 --> 01:05:06,282 Why is that good? 1628 01:05:06,284 --> 01:05:07,853 We don't have to do an STD swab. 1629 01:05:07,885 --> 01:05:09,454 I mean, unless you want to. 1630 01:05:09,487 --> 01:05:10,689 Sure. 1631 01:05:10,722 --> 01:05:12,824 Is that a sure yes or a sure no? 1632 01:05:12,856 --> 01:05:14,927 A sure yes. 1633 01:05:17,628 --> 01:05:19,897 Maybe don't call it a swab. 1634 01:05:19,931 --> 01:05:21,699 Doesn't sound fun. 1635 01:05:21,733 --> 01:05:23,869 I was trying to make it fun, so thank you. 1636 01:05:24,635 --> 01:05:26,871 How many sexual partners have you had? 1637 01:05:26,905 --> 01:05:28,607 What does it matter, if we're gonna do the swab anyway? 1638 01:05:28,639 --> 01:05:29,875 It's a standard question. 1639 01:05:29,907 --> 01:05:32,810 You can just give me an approximation. 1640 01:05:32,844 --> 01:05:36,715 Uh, I would rather just talk about the prenatal stuff, 1641 01:05:36,748 --> 01:05:38,383 if that's okay. 1642 01:05:38,416 --> 01:05:39,818 [Dr. Jacobs] You're pregnant? 1643 01:05:39,851 --> 01:05:41,619 Yes. 1644 01:05:41,652 --> 01:05:43,788 Sorry, I didn't get to that part yet. 1645 01:05:45,489 --> 01:05:47,425 Oh yeah, there it is. You're pregnant. 1646 01:05:48,626 --> 01:05:50,295 All right, um. 1647 01:05:50,327 --> 01:05:51,697 Do you mind shifting to your left? 1648 01:05:52,697 --> 01:05:54,465 Nice, yeah, then the other way. 1649 01:05:56,333 --> 01:05:58,503 Lift up your shaft. 1650 01:05:59,771 --> 01:06:02,007 Now to do the hokey pokey, turn, and shout. 1651 01:06:02,039 --> 01:06:02,974 Just kidding. 1652 01:06:04,742 --> 01:06:05,876 Make your legs jello. 1653 01:06:05,909 --> 01:06:07,278 [Mary sighs] 1654 01:06:07,311 --> 01:06:08,947 Pretend like your knees are jello. 1655 01:06:08,980 --> 01:06:09,880 I'm trying. 1656 01:06:09,914 --> 01:06:11,383 You're really not. 1657 01:06:11,416 --> 01:06:12,651 I'm sorry, it's just, 1658 01:06:12,684 --> 01:06:14,486 my mom had a burst ovarian cyst one time. 1659 01:06:14,518 --> 01:06:16,721 I am not gonna burst anything, all right. 1660 01:06:16,755 --> 01:06:17,923 Don't be afraid. Just scoot your butt on down. 1661 01:06:17,956 --> 01:06:19,291 [Mary] All right. 1662 01:06:19,324 --> 01:06:21,827 More, more, more, more. 1663 01:06:22,994 --> 01:06:24,630 [sighs] Jello. 1664 01:06:24,663 --> 01:06:25,630 I am jello. 1665 01:06:25,664 --> 01:06:26,698 - Jello. - Yeah, I'm jello. 1666 01:06:26,731 --> 01:06:28,400 - I am jello. - Jello, jello. 1667 01:06:28,432 --> 01:06:29,735 I am jello! 1668 01:06:29,768 --> 01:06:33,972 Have you ever seen jello? It's like this. [burbles] 1669 01:06:34,005 --> 01:06:35,874 Jello. [exhales deeply] 1670 01:06:35,907 --> 01:06:37,643 You're not gettin' outta here 1671 01:06:37,675 --> 01:06:38,610 'til I get a piece of your cervix, so open it up. 1672 01:06:38,643 --> 01:06:39,577 Wait. 1673 01:06:39,610 --> 01:06:41,612 Come on. You're clenching. 1674 01:06:41,646 --> 01:06:43,615 It's gonna hurt more the more you clench. 1675 01:06:43,648 --> 01:06:44,983 I'm gonna put it to you like this. 1676 01:06:45,016 --> 01:06:46,885 This is how wide I'm gonna need you to be. 1677 01:06:47,985 --> 01:06:48,820 Can we get there? 1678 01:06:49,987 --> 01:06:50,955 It'll... 1679 01:06:53,458 --> 01:06:56,394 [soft pensive music] 1680 01:07:15,012 --> 01:07:16,715 [Mary sighs] 1681 01:07:20,485 --> 01:07:23,387 I don't wanna do this anymore. 1682 01:07:23,420 --> 01:07:25,723 [Mark sighs] 1683 01:07:26,324 --> 01:07:28,559 You could mean a number of things at this point. 1684 01:07:30,862 --> 01:07:32,064 The open thing. 1685 01:07:34,833 --> 01:07:36,035 Well, maybe I do. 1686 01:07:37,601 --> 01:07:39,704 But you said if one of us didn't wanna do it, 1687 01:07:39,737 --> 01:07:41,373 we could go back. 1688 01:07:41,405 --> 01:07:43,574 That was the main thing for you. That was the main rule. 1689 01:07:45,409 --> 01:07:46,677 I changed my mind. 1690 01:07:46,710 --> 01:07:48,846 [Mary] You can't just do that. 1691 01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:50,849 I'm supposed to know everything I might want 1692 01:07:50,882 --> 01:07:52,084 before I want it? 1693 01:07:52,117 --> 01:07:54,952 I just, I want it to be just you and me. 1694 01:07:54,985 --> 01:07:57,355 Like you said, just us again, please. 1695 01:07:59,824 --> 01:08:00,925 It's not just us, Mary. 1696 01:08:02,860 --> 01:08:04,596 It's you and me and a fucking baby. 1697 01:08:06,864 --> 01:08:09,533 Is there any part of you that actually wants to keep it? 1698 01:08:09,567 --> 01:08:10,735 [Mary] Of course there is. 1699 01:08:10,768 --> 01:08:11,903 Don't say "of course" to me. 1700 01:08:13,170 --> 01:08:14,939 How can I predict anything with you 1701 01:08:14,972 --> 01:08:17,943 when you were so classically un-fucking-predictable? 1702 01:08:17,975 --> 01:08:19,077 I wanna keep it. 1703 01:08:21,912 --> 01:08:23,581 Don't you think it's weird that we're married, 1704 01:08:23,614 --> 01:08:24,548 and this was an accident? 1705 01:08:24,582 --> 01:08:25,984 I obviously think it's weird, 1706 01:08:26,016 --> 01:08:28,519 but you've trained me not to know what's up or down. 1707 01:08:29,587 --> 01:08:30,822 [Mary] I don't know why. 1708 01:08:30,854 --> 01:08:33,157 I just feel like I have to keep it. 1709 01:08:33,190 --> 01:08:35,493 Something is telling me I have to. 1710 01:08:38,829 --> 01:08:41,132 You trying to bait me into being the bad guy? 1711 01:08:41,166 --> 01:08:43,467 - No. - Because I'm not gonna be the bad guy. 1712 01:08:43,501 --> 01:08:45,537 And I'm definitely not gonna be a bad father. 1713 01:08:46,837 --> 01:08:48,706 But we're not ready for this. 1714 01:08:48,739 --> 01:08:50,074 We are so far 1715 01:08:50,108 --> 01:08:51,777 - from being ready. - Okay, I get it. 1716 01:08:51,810 --> 01:08:53,678 You know, I don't even know why I bother speaking. 1717 01:08:53,711 --> 01:08:55,747 We both know you're gonna do exactly what you want, 1718 01:08:55,779 --> 01:08:56,849 regardless of how I feel. 1719 01:08:57,849 --> 01:08:58,850 How can you say that? 1720 01:08:58,882 --> 01:09:00,551 Because it's true. 1721 01:09:00,585 --> 01:09:02,887 I mean, this whole thing was your idea from the start. 1722 01:09:02,921 --> 01:09:05,157 Have you seen my arm? It says Mary. 1723 01:09:05,189 --> 01:09:06,857 Yeah, and mine says Mark. 1724 01:09:06,890 --> 01:09:10,127 Your says Mark, and some wiggly-dos, and some other shit, 1725 01:09:10,161 --> 01:09:11,797 and some shark fins. 1726 01:09:11,829 --> 01:09:13,131 Mine just says Mary. 1727 01:09:13,163 --> 01:09:14,733 Yeah, your name and my dead mom. 1728 01:09:14,765 --> 01:09:16,033 - Oh my god. - Pretty stupid. 1729 01:09:16,067 --> 01:09:17,168 You told me yourself half those were done 1730 01:09:17,202 --> 01:09:18,737 by wasted ex-boyfriends. 1731 01:09:18,770 --> 01:09:20,472 You are always twisting the narrative! 1732 01:09:30,047 --> 01:09:32,483 When did you decide that you hated me this much? 1733 01:09:36,587 --> 01:09:37,154 [keys jingle] 1734 01:09:37,188 --> 01:09:39,925 [car engine revs] 1735 01:09:47,532 --> 01:09:48,766 [drumsticks clacking] 1736 01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:49,935 [Lana] One, two, three, four. 1737 01:09:49,967 --> 01:09:53,438 [grungy energetic music] 1738 01:10:10,688 --> 01:10:12,524 ♪ You tell me ♪ 1739 01:10:12,556 --> 01:10:14,960 ♪ Baby, baby, you should smile more, honey ♪ 1740 01:10:14,993 --> 01:10:17,729 ♪ 'Cause you've got a face like a Playboy Bunny ♪ 1741 01:10:17,761 --> 01:10:19,965 ♪ Well, this is gonna hurt you more than ♪ 1742 01:10:19,997 --> 01:10:21,599 Don't stop, pussies! 1743 01:10:21,632 --> 01:10:23,167 ♪ Me ♪ 1744 01:10:23,201 --> 01:10:25,604 ♪ I didn't come, I didn't come, I didn't come ♪ 1745 01:10:25,636 --> 01:10:28,672 ♪ Come here for you, come here for you ♪ 1746 01:10:28,706 --> 01:10:31,009 ♪ I didn't come, I didn't come, I didn't come ♪ 1747 01:10:31,042 --> 01:10:35,847 ♪ Come here for you, come here for you ♪ 1748 01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:37,181 Here. 1749 01:10:37,215 --> 01:10:38,884 What is going on? 1750 01:10:40,118 --> 01:10:41,553 What's wrong? 1751 01:10:41,586 --> 01:10:43,288 [Mary sniffles] 1752 01:10:43,320 --> 01:10:44,922 [cellphone beeps] 1753 01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:49,795 Fuck. 1754 01:10:51,162 --> 01:10:52,097 [Lisa] Hello, this is Lisa 1755 01:10:52,130 --> 01:10:53,832 from the North Hollywood Public Health Center. 1756 01:10:53,864 --> 01:10:55,300 We have your test results. 1757 01:10:55,332 --> 01:10:57,969 Please return at 818- [cellphone clicks] 1758 01:10:58,002 --> 01:10:58,804 What results? 1759 01:11:01,038 --> 01:11:02,541 Mary, if they're calling you about it, 1760 01:11:02,573 --> 01:11:04,808 then you probably have whatever it is. 1761 01:11:04,841 --> 01:11:05,877 Thanks, Lana. 1762 01:11:12,050 --> 01:11:13,217 Holy fuck. 1763 01:11:15,118 --> 01:11:17,655 Dude, does that mean that I would have an STD, too? 1764 01:11:20,158 --> 01:11:21,793 Oh my god, dudes. 1765 01:11:26,130 --> 01:11:27,632 [door clicks] 1766 01:11:27,664 --> 01:11:29,067 [Tori] I can't believe that you just said that. 1767 01:11:29,100 --> 01:11:30,835 No, if I have an STD 1768 01:11:30,868 --> 01:11:32,003 - right now- - Yeah, no. 1769 01:11:32,036 --> 01:11:33,672 [Lana] I'm literally gonna kill myself. 1770 01:11:37,942 --> 01:11:40,145 [Kyle] So you're gonna have a mystery baby. 1771 01:11:42,947 --> 01:11:43,981 It's gonna cry a lot. 1772 01:11:45,315 --> 01:11:47,019 And it's gonna poop a lot. 1773 01:11:47,685 --> 01:11:48,752 [AJ] Which means you're gonna have to buy 1774 01:11:48,786 --> 01:11:49,921 a lot of diapers. 1775 01:11:49,953 --> 01:11:51,655 [Kyle] Which means a lot of money. 1776 01:11:51,689 --> 01:11:53,091 [AJ] You're gonna have to get babysitters, 1777 01:11:53,123 --> 01:11:54,658 which actually could be dope, 1778 01:11:54,692 --> 01:11:56,094 could be some hot babysitters. 1779 01:11:56,127 --> 01:11:57,162 [Kyle] But it's also a lot of money. 1780 01:11:57,194 --> 01:11:58,029 Okay, I got it. 1781 01:12:01,832 --> 01:12:02,967 I'll babysit if you want. 1782 01:12:03,001 --> 01:12:06,038 Don't offer that yet. 1783 01:12:06,738 --> 01:12:09,173 You wait until he's desperate, and you need something. 1784 01:12:09,207 --> 01:12:10,307 What's wrong with you? 1785 01:12:10,341 --> 01:12:12,177 Just think ahead, dude. 1786 01:12:12,210 --> 01:12:13,877 [Mark sobs] Think, hey, hey, hey. 1787 01:12:13,911 --> 01:12:14,779 Hey. 1788 01:12:14,811 --> 01:12:15,680 No. 1789 01:12:15,712 --> 01:12:16,280 Oh fuck. 1790 01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:19,850 [Mark sobbing] 1791 01:12:21,918 --> 01:12:23,787 Hey, hey, no, no, no, no. 1792 01:12:23,820 --> 01:12:25,390 - We love you, man. - We love you. 1793 01:12:25,422 --> 01:12:26,957 - A lot. - A lot. 1794 01:12:26,990 --> 01:12:31,095 Like, whatever you need, to a reasonable point- 1795 01:12:31,128 --> 01:12:32,730 [cellphone buzzing] 1796 01:12:32,764 --> 01:12:33,699 Oh. 1797 01:12:36,434 --> 01:12:37,369 Is it Mary? 1798 01:12:37,402 --> 01:12:38,837 Is it? Put it on speaker. 1799 01:12:38,869 --> 01:12:39,837 Dude, shut up. 1800 01:12:39,871 --> 01:12:41,038 - We're in it. - Just... 1801 01:12:41,072 --> 01:12:42,207 Hello? Just give me a second [indistinct]. 1802 01:12:46,677 --> 01:12:47,979 You're gonna babysit? 1803 01:12:48,011 --> 01:12:49,046 No, of course I don't wanna babysit. 1804 01:12:49,079 --> 01:12:51,048 Well, what the fuck, man? 1805 01:12:51,082 --> 01:12:53,251 You better hope he's high enough to forget that. 1806 01:12:53,283 --> 01:12:54,885 Do you wanna be "Two and a Half Men"? 1807 01:12:57,020 --> 01:12:57,988 No. 1808 01:12:58,021 --> 01:12:59,823 Fuck. 1809 01:12:59,856 --> 01:13:01,059 I'm having a panic attack. 1810 01:13:01,091 --> 01:13:05,229 This is why it's good to be bi, you know? 1811 01:13:05,262 --> 01:13:07,698 You can just stick with dudes and- 1812 01:13:07,731 --> 01:13:09,234 - Stick with just 1813 01:13:09,266 --> 01:13:11,068 - men exclusively? - Just men, exclusively. 1814 01:13:11,101 --> 01:13:12,136 Okay, well that's just gay. 1815 01:13:12,170 --> 01:13:14,373 Yeah, maybe I'm gay. 1816 01:13:15,939 --> 01:13:17,174 [exhales deeply] Am I gonna hit that, 1817 01:13:17,207 --> 01:13:18,242 or are you just gonna fuckin' sit with it? 1818 01:13:18,275 --> 01:13:21,945 [cellphone ringing] 1819 01:13:21,979 --> 01:13:23,114 North Hollywood Public Health Center, 1820 01:13:23,146 --> 01:13:24,948 this is Lisa speaking. 1821 01:13:24,981 --> 01:13:26,784 Hi, this is Mary Lewis. I just missed your call. 1822 01:13:26,818 --> 01:13:27,452 Please hold. [phone beeps] 1823 01:13:27,484 --> 01:13:29,920 [gentle music] 1824 01:13:35,225 --> 01:13:37,394 [Automated Ad] Suffering from a dry or itchy vagina? 1825 01:13:37,427 --> 01:13:39,130 - Are you fucking kidding me? - It may be a syndrome 1826 01:13:39,162 --> 01:13:42,166 called menopause vaginal dryness. 1827 01:13:42,199 --> 01:13:44,402 A lubricant might be for you. 1828 01:13:44,435 --> 01:13:48,972 Try our All Natural Wild Yam Vaginal Moisturizing Gel today, 1829 01:13:49,006 --> 01:13:52,210 currently available in 1.5 to 3 ounces. 1830 01:13:52,243 --> 01:13:53,078 [gentle music] 1831 01:13:53,110 --> 01:13:53,944 Oh fuck. 1832 01:13:55,846 --> 01:13:57,148 [Lisa] Hello? Are you there? 1833 01:13:57,180 --> 01:13:58,782 Yeah, yeah. 1834 01:13:58,815 --> 01:14:00,818 The results of your paternity test are back. 1835 01:14:02,386 --> 01:14:04,956 [gentle music] 1836 01:14:13,430 --> 01:14:15,733 Thank you for your patience. 1837 01:14:15,766 --> 01:14:20,104 So your results are back, and they're positive for, uh, 1838 01:14:20,137 --> 01:14:21,206 [keystrokes clacking] 1839 01:14:21,238 --> 01:14:22,506 oh, for HPV. 1840 01:14:22,539 --> 01:14:23,307 Fuck. 1841 01:14:25,909 --> 01:14:27,211 I'm sorry. 1842 01:14:27,244 --> 01:14:28,880 [Lisa] Oh, no, it's fine. I hear it all the time. 1843 01:14:29,913 --> 01:14:33,016 Can you tell me if it's the good kind or the bad kind? 1844 01:14:33,050 --> 01:14:36,020 Or not, not, not the good... 1845 01:14:36,052 --> 01:14:39,224 Can you, can you tell me if it's the cancer kind 1846 01:14:39,256 --> 01:14:41,425 or the not-cancer kind, please? 1847 01:14:41,458 --> 01:14:43,862 [Lisa] Mm, you're gonna have to schedule follow-up 1848 01:14:43,895 --> 01:14:45,029 with Dr. Jacobs. 1849 01:14:45,061 --> 01:14:46,229 Okay, but if it was the bad kind, 1850 01:14:46,262 --> 01:14:48,867 I would have symptoms, right? I don't have any symptoms. 1851 01:14:48,899 --> 01:14:50,400 [Lisa] Yeah, I can't answer these questions for you. 1852 01:14:50,434 --> 01:14:51,836 You're gonna have to come in. 1853 01:14:51,868 --> 01:14:53,537 So would you like to set up an appointment? 1854 01:14:53,570 --> 01:14:56,408 How is, uh, how's Wednesday? [cellphone chimes] 1855 01:14:58,176 --> 01:14:59,010 Hello? 1856 01:15:00,144 --> 01:15:00,979 Hello? 1857 01:15:05,550 --> 01:15:07,217 [Mark] You want a drink? 1858 01:15:07,251 --> 01:15:08,186 Probably shouldn't. 1859 01:15:09,287 --> 01:15:10,922 Oh, right. 1860 01:15:11,756 --> 01:15:17,295 Hey, I wanted to say I'm sorry for my part in all this. 1861 01:15:17,328 --> 01:15:21,132 And I shouldn't have suggested that I wasn't in father. 1862 01:15:21,164 --> 01:15:22,167 I got the call. 1863 01:15:23,868 --> 01:15:24,970 It's fine. 1864 01:15:25,670 --> 01:15:27,204 And I probably shouldn't have suggested 1865 01:15:27,238 --> 01:15:29,775 that we don't keep the baby. 1866 01:15:31,509 --> 01:15:32,444 It's okay. 1867 01:15:33,511 --> 01:15:34,946 If we're gonna do this, 1868 01:15:34,979 --> 01:15:36,414 we're gonna need to get more permanent jobs, 1869 01:15:36,447 --> 01:15:38,382 and we're gonna need to sell some stuff 1870 01:15:38,416 --> 01:15:40,985 and really just save up everything we can. 1871 01:15:45,122 --> 01:15:46,490 You're not saying anything. 1872 01:15:48,391 --> 01:15:51,095 [Mary sighs] 1873 01:15:51,863 --> 01:15:54,199 I have HPV. 1874 01:15:55,265 --> 01:15:56,433 What? 1875 01:15:56,466 --> 01:15:57,935 I'm sure it's nothing, I just... 1876 01:15:57,969 --> 01:15:59,304 I didn't want to sit here with you, 1877 01:15:59,337 --> 01:16:01,206 and you look so pretty and candle-lit, 1878 01:16:01,238 --> 01:16:03,040 and, like, lie to you or something, 1879 01:16:03,073 --> 01:16:05,342 or not lie, but, like, withhold. 1880 01:16:05,376 --> 01:16:07,244 So you probably gave me an STD? 1881 01:16:07,278 --> 01:16:09,146 Can you lower your volume? 1882 01:16:09,180 --> 01:16:10,849 I thought you got Gardasil. 1883 01:16:10,881 --> 01:16:13,483 I did, a long time ago, and my insurance didn't cover it, 1884 01:16:13,516 --> 01:16:14,586 and you have to get three rounds, 1885 01:16:14,618 --> 01:16:16,086 so after the first round, I just... 1886 01:16:17,654 --> 01:16:20,090 You could've given it to me. These things are silent. 1887 01:16:20,123 --> 01:16:21,358 Yeah, silent killers. 1888 01:16:21,391 --> 01:16:22,993 I don't even know what it means yet. 1889 01:16:23,027 --> 01:16:24,295 Oh god, I'm already itchy. 1890 01:16:24,328 --> 01:16:26,531 Oh my god, by the way, 1891 01:16:26,564 --> 01:16:28,466 there isn't even an HPV test for men. 1892 01:16:28,498 --> 01:16:30,335 So you could have been born with it, 1893 01:16:30,368 --> 01:16:32,036 or it's been dormant this whole time, 1894 01:16:32,069 --> 01:16:33,504 and this isn't even a big deal. 1895 01:16:33,537 --> 01:16:35,506 It's not automatically me. [Mark scoffs] 1896 01:16:35,538 --> 01:16:37,207 Learn to fuckin' deal with things. 1897 01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:38,408 Says the girl still in a band. 1898 01:16:38,442 --> 01:16:39,409 We need therapy. 1899 01:16:39,443 --> 01:16:41,046 We can't afford therapy. 1900 01:16:46,684 --> 01:16:49,186 [uneasy music] 1901 01:16:52,555 --> 01:16:53,424 Mm-hmm. 1902 01:16:54,692 --> 01:16:55,594 Yep, takeout. 1903 01:17:01,631 --> 01:17:04,167 Learning Spanish is easy. 1904 01:17:04,201 --> 01:17:07,038 Once you understand conjugation, you're well on your way. 1905 01:17:07,304 --> 01:17:08,539 Sí se puede. 1906 01:17:11,309 --> 01:17:14,012 [camera clicking] 1907 01:17:16,646 --> 01:17:18,382 How should we list them for? 1908 01:17:18,416 --> 01:17:19,484 How much does a crib cost? 1909 01:17:21,385 --> 01:17:24,588 [uneasy music continues] 1910 01:17:34,332 --> 01:17:35,166 Hey. 1911 01:17:36,199 --> 01:17:37,167 You're far away. 1912 01:17:41,439 --> 01:17:44,175 Your toenails are super sharp. 1913 01:17:45,609 --> 01:17:47,245 I meant emotionally. 1914 01:17:47,278 --> 01:17:50,615 No, I know, but they're really sharp, and I can feel it. 1915 01:17:52,149 --> 01:17:53,351 But I cut them last week. 1916 01:17:54,719 --> 01:17:55,619 I don't know what to tell you. 1917 01:17:55,653 --> 01:17:56,554 They're super fast-growing. 1918 01:17:56,587 --> 01:17:59,057 [laughs] They're not that bad. 1919 01:17:59,090 --> 01:18:01,125 Yes, they are. They're like little steak knives. 1920 01:18:01,158 --> 01:18:02,293 That's extreme. 1921 01:18:02,326 --> 01:18:04,162 They're like serrated, 1922 01:18:04,194 --> 01:18:06,663 and they cut my legs in the night when I'm sleeping. 1923 01:18:06,697 --> 01:18:08,099 My legs are afraid. 1924 01:18:11,202 --> 01:18:14,204 [bright buoyant music] 1925 01:18:32,722 --> 01:18:35,060 This is sweet. I love it. 1926 01:18:38,261 --> 01:18:39,429 Are you gonna look at my presents now? 1927 01:18:39,462 --> 01:18:40,398 - Yes, okay. - Open hers. 1928 01:18:40,430 --> 01:18:41,498 Is it [indistinct]? 1929 01:18:41,532 --> 01:18:42,300 No, no, no. 1930 01:18:43,567 --> 01:18:45,136 I have an outie. 1931 01:18:45,168 --> 01:18:49,106 [bright buoyant music continues] 1932 01:18:51,408 --> 01:18:54,011 [music stops] 1933 01:18:59,182 --> 01:19:01,519 [Mary sobbing] 1934 01:19:36,587 --> 01:19:38,423 [lamp clicks] 1935 01:19:38,456 --> 01:19:39,524 [Mary exhales deeply] 1936 01:19:39,556 --> 01:19:44,161 ♪ I heard about being young ♪ 1937 01:19:44,194 --> 01:19:48,698 ♪ But I'm not sure how it's done ♪ 1938 01:19:48,731 --> 01:19:53,403 ♪ Thought I heard a mumble ♪ 1939 01:19:53,436 --> 01:19:58,309 ♪ Somethin' about fun ♪ 1940 01:19:59,577 --> 01:20:01,311 ♪ Fun ♪ 1941 01:20:04,515 --> 01:20:08,552 [cellphone chimes] ♪ Easy for you to say, I say ♪ 1942 01:20:08,586 --> 01:20:13,524 ♪ I say this to you every day ♪ 1943 01:20:13,556 --> 01:20:17,461 ♪ Easy for you to say ♪ 1944 01:20:17,494 --> 01:20:21,798 ♪ The sky is a special orange streak ♪ 1945 01:20:21,832 --> 01:20:25,536 ♪ Between balloons, two moons ♪ 1946 01:20:25,569 --> 01:20:30,575 ♪ A leak of light in a blue town like this ♪ 1947 01:20:31,341 --> 01:20:35,812 ♪ The clouds are you, the sky a kiss ♪ 1948 01:20:35,845 --> 01:20:40,617 ♪ That never shows or comes, oh what ♪ 1949 01:20:40,650 --> 01:20:44,889 ♪ A waste sits in the parking lot ♪ 1950 01:20:44,921 --> 01:20:49,126 ♪ I just wanna be alive, that's it ♪ 1951 01:20:51,561 --> 01:20:54,364 [keystrokes tapping] 1952 01:20:57,167 --> 01:21:01,671 ♪ Alive ♪ 1953 01:21:01,704 --> 01:21:04,442 ♪ Alive ♪ 1954 01:21:10,480 --> 01:21:13,885 [mellow music] ♪ I think about you and cry ♪ 1955 01:21:13,917 --> 01:21:16,353 ♪ All alone ♪ 1956 01:21:16,386 --> 01:21:19,256 ♪ Stolen like candy ♪ 1957 01:21:20,658 --> 01:21:21,326 [upbeat music] ♪ What's the point of ♪ 1958 01:21:21,359 --> 01:21:25,196 ♪ Fakin' it, this big talk ♪ 1959 01:21:26,063 --> 01:21:31,336 ♪ Oh, a drink in my hand ain't the only life I wanna know ♪ 1960 01:21:31,969 --> 01:21:33,304 ♪ Is it wrong ♪ [tense tones swell] 1961 01:21:38,242 --> 01:21:40,878 So whose responsibility is it 1962 01:21:40,911 --> 01:21:43,948 to make this not so weird? 1963 01:21:43,980 --> 01:21:45,750 [all laughing] 1964 01:21:45,783 --> 01:21:46,884 I think that's on you two. 1965 01:21:46,917 --> 01:21:48,319 [Mark and Mary laugh] 1966 01:21:48,351 --> 01:21:50,188 I'm just gonna fold and unfold my napkin 1967 01:21:50,220 --> 01:21:52,289 until somebody says my name. 1968 01:21:52,323 --> 01:21:53,791 [all laughing] 1969 01:21:53,823 --> 01:21:55,859 That's really funny. 1970 01:21:56,292 --> 01:21:59,329 So, Mary, what do you do, like for work? 1971 01:21:59,363 --> 01:22:00,264 I'm a waitress. 1972 01:22:00,296 --> 01:22:01,798 And a wonderful singer. 1973 01:22:01,832 --> 01:22:02,867 [Mary] An average singer. 1974 01:22:02,899 --> 01:22:03,967 She has a beautiful voice. 1975 01:22:04,001 --> 01:22:04,936 That's generous. 1976 01:22:04,969 --> 01:22:06,436 It literally makes me cry. 1977 01:22:07,871 --> 01:22:09,407 Wow. 1978 01:22:09,439 --> 01:22:11,641 We're actually workin' on a project together, 1979 01:22:11,675 --> 01:22:13,543 but I had a little hand injury. 1980 01:22:13,577 --> 01:22:15,947 I was a guitar player, and I was cleaning a wine glass, 1981 01:22:15,979 --> 01:22:18,982 and it completely shattered in my hand. 1982 01:22:19,015 --> 01:22:22,819 Uh, four surgeries later, I'm kind of stuck here. 1983 01:22:22,853 --> 01:22:23,721 I mean, you really can't open it. 1984 01:22:23,753 --> 01:22:26,623 Here, give it a shot. Try to open it. 1985 01:22:26,657 --> 01:22:28,326 Come on, Mark. Come on, Mark. 1986 01:22:28,359 --> 01:22:29,360 [Mary] Come on. 1987 01:22:29,393 --> 01:22:30,328 - [Aaron shouts] - Oh! 1988 01:22:30,360 --> 01:22:31,729 [all laughing] 1989 01:22:31,761 --> 01:22:33,730 Oh yeah, it'll sneak up on you, just like that. 1990 01:22:33,764 --> 01:22:34,765 - Wow. - That's really weird. 1991 01:22:34,797 --> 01:22:35,966 - Yeah, yeah. - Four surgeries, 1992 01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:37,368 and that's what they did? 1993 01:22:38,868 --> 01:22:40,704 Yeah, that's it, that was... Yeah. 1994 01:22:40,738 --> 01:22:41,972 That's it? Are they done? 1995 01:22:42,006 --> 01:22:43,641 I like that finger. It's my favorite one. 1996 01:22:44,041 --> 01:22:44,976 Yeah. 1997 01:22:46,577 --> 01:22:49,579 So, uh, Mark, what do you do? 1998 01:22:49,613 --> 01:22:52,750 I'm just splittin' my time between here and Ventura. 1999 01:22:52,783 --> 01:22:55,019 Yeah, I work with my dad's plastics company, 2000 01:22:55,051 --> 01:22:55,987 Make-It Manufacturing. 2001 01:22:56,886 --> 01:22:57,755 Cool. 2002 01:22:58,956 --> 01:23:00,824 Uh, so what do you guys make? 2003 01:23:02,926 --> 01:23:04,629 Uh, plastic? 2004 01:23:04,662 --> 01:23:05,496 Hmm. 2005 01:23:07,497 --> 01:23:08,965 Well, the ocean, I guess, huh? 2006 01:23:08,998 --> 01:23:12,369 [all laughing] 2007 01:23:12,403 --> 01:23:13,436 Yeah, that's good. 2008 01:23:13,470 --> 01:23:14,739 Yeah, you know. Yeah. 2009 01:23:14,771 --> 01:23:16,740 [Mary] He's kidding. 2010 01:23:16,774 --> 01:23:18,576 No, we feel bad about that, but- 2011 01:23:18,609 --> 01:23:20,511 - I mean, you kind of need plastic. 2012 01:23:21,944 --> 01:23:23,380 Still. 2013 01:23:23,413 --> 01:23:25,448 Uh, you guys hungry? 2014 01:23:25,481 --> 01:23:27,784 Yeah, I was gonna get the BLT. 2015 01:23:27,818 --> 01:23:29,887 - The BLT, mm, bacon. - Hmm. 2016 01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:31,855 You gotta worry about that factory farming, though, right? 2017 01:23:31,889 --> 01:23:34,792 That has a huge footprint as well, so, poor little piggies. 2018 01:23:34,824 --> 01:23:35,792 Touché, man. 2019 01:23:35,826 --> 01:23:38,462 [all laughing] 2020 01:23:41,965 --> 01:23:44,534 [tense music] 2021 01:23:48,072 --> 01:23:49,407 Well... 2022 01:23:49,640 --> 01:23:52,744 [wistful electronic music] 2023 01:24:01,819 --> 01:24:06,724 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 2024 01:24:07,224 --> 01:24:12,697 ♪ We could stay alone together ♪ 2025 01:24:13,329 --> 01:24:18,735 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 2026 01:24:19,336 --> 01:24:23,574 ♪ Say you'll stay, never be severed ♪ 2027 01:24:31,081 --> 01:24:36,054 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 2028 01:24:36,987 --> 01:24:42,025 ♪ We can stay alone together ♪ 2029 01:24:42,760 --> 01:24:46,998 ♪ Darlin', don't get away right now ♪ 2030 01:24:48,097 --> 01:24:51,702 [music brightens and swells] 2031 01:24:54,771 --> 01:24:59,844 ♪ You know you've got me in your pocket ♪ 2032 01:25:00,109 --> 01:25:05,515 ♪ Just come here, and we can settle down ♪ 2033 01:25:05,882 --> 01:25:10,587 ♪ Oh darling, it's alarming ♪ 2034 01:25:10,820 --> 01:25:15,626 ♪ To think of us apart ♪ 2035 01:25:18,194 --> 01:25:23,367 ♪ You know you've got me in your pocket ♪ 2036 01:25:24,034 --> 01:25:29,072 ♪ You don't just have to wait around ♪ 2037 01:25:29,773 --> 01:25:34,945 ♪ You know I keep you in my locket ♪ 2038 01:25:35,613 --> 01:25:40,685 ♪ Just come here, and we can settle down ♪ 2039 01:25:41,318 --> 01:25:46,623 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 2040 01:25:47,724 --> 01:25:52,497 ♪ We could stay alone together ♪ 2041 01:25:53,596 --> 01:25:58,168 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 2042 01:25:59,470 --> 01:26:03,975 ♪ We could stay alone together ♪ 2043 01:26:05,074 --> 01:26:09,846 ♪ You and me, always, forever ♪ 2044 01:26:10,948 --> 01:26:15,753 ♪ We could stay alone together ♪ 2045 01:26:16,987 --> 01:26:19,757 ♪ You and me ♪ 2046 01:26:19,789 --> 01:26:20,858 - So- - Should we- 2047 01:26:20,890 --> 01:26:21,958 - Go ahead, go ahead. 2048 01:26:21,992 --> 01:26:22,860 No, no, what were you gonna say? 2049 01:26:22,893 --> 01:26:24,962 I, uh, are we gonna do this now or- 2050 01:26:24,994 --> 01:26:25,996 - Well- 2051 01:26:26,029 --> 01:26:27,432 - You want a shot or somethin'? 2052 01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:30,601 Okay. 2053 01:26:30,634 --> 01:26:31,536 - Okay. - All right. 2054 01:26:32,802 --> 01:26:34,939 - So, um, maybe. - Yeah. 2055 01:26:34,971 --> 01:26:36,039 - Both of you guys. - Are y'all gonna, 2056 01:26:36,073 --> 01:26:37,074 and then I- 2057 01:26:37,106 --> 01:26:37,908 - Yeah. - That's brilliant. 2058 01:26:37,940 --> 01:26:38,708 - Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm. 2059 01:26:38,742 --> 01:26:39,710 - Uh. - Okay. 2060 01:26:41,944 --> 01:26:42,880 [man exhales deeply] 2061 01:26:42,912 --> 01:26:43,913 [man clears throat] 2062 01:26:43,947 --> 01:26:44,981 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 2063 01:26:45,015 --> 01:26:45,750 Mm-hmm. 2064 01:26:47,951 --> 01:26:50,054 Ah yes. [laughs] 2065 01:26:50,386 --> 01:26:52,922 ♪ We're hell raisers ♪ 2066 01:26:52,956 --> 01:26:55,592 ♪ Death wish cravers ♪ 2067 01:26:55,626 --> 01:27:00,030 ♪ We're runnin' with razor blades ♪ 2068 01:27:00,063 --> 01:27:04,902 ♪ Party favors, sex with strangers ♪ 2069 01:27:04,935 --> 01:27:09,707 ♪ We don't care what the neighbors say ♪ 2070 01:27:09,739 --> 01:27:13,710 ♪ If this is how it's gonna end ♪ 2071 01:27:13,743 --> 01:27:16,746 ♪ 'Cause it feels all right ♪ 2072 01:27:16,779 --> 01:27:19,015 ♪ Baby, let's get sick again ♪ 2073 01:27:19,048 --> 01:27:21,719 [upbeat music] 2074 01:27:23,587 --> 01:27:28,158 ♪ I'm crawlin' of the dead man's bed ♪ 2075 01:27:28,190 --> 01:27:30,594 ♪ Well, we don't wanna know ♪ 2076 01:27:30,627 --> 01:27:32,963 ♪ Well, we don't wanna know ♪ 2077 01:27:32,996 --> 01:27:37,667 ♪ I'm killin' myself just to live ♪ 2078 01:27:37,701 --> 01:27:40,069 ♪ Well, we don't wanna go ♪ 2079 01:27:40,103 --> 01:27:42,706 ♪ Well, we don't wanna go ♪ 2080 01:27:42,738 --> 01:27:44,974 ♪ We're hell raisers ♪ 2081 01:27:45,007 --> 01:27:47,545 ♪ Death wish cravers ♪ 2082 01:27:47,578 --> 01:27:52,016 ♪ We're runnin' with razor blades ♪ 2083 01:27:52,048 --> 01:27:57,054 ♪ Party favors, sex with strangers ♪ 2084 01:27:57,087 --> 01:28:01,759 ♪ We don't care what the neighbors say ♪ 2085 01:28:02,960 --> 01:28:05,762 ♪ If this is how it's gonna end ♪ 2086 01:28:05,796 --> 01:28:08,666 ♪ 'Cause it feels all right ♪ 2087 01:28:08,698 --> 01:28:11,167 ♪ Baby, let's get sick again ♪ 2088 01:28:11,201 --> 01:28:16,006 [music slows] [singers harmonizing] 2089 01:28:26,984 --> 01:28:29,620 [music quickens] 2090 01:28:46,036 --> 01:28:48,005 ♪ We're hell raisers ♪ 2091 01:28:48,037 --> 01:28:50,607 ♪ Death wish cravers ♪ 2092 01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:55,211 ♪ We're runnin' with razor blades ♪ 2093 01:28:55,244 --> 01:29:00,149 ♪ Party favors, sex with strangers ♪ 2094 01:29:00,182 --> 01:29:04,854 ♪ We don't care what the neighbors say ♪ 2095 01:29:06,122 --> 01:29:08,958 ♪ If this is how it's gonna end ♪ 2096 01:29:08,992 --> 01:29:11,929 ♪ 'Cause it feels all right ♪ 2097 01:29:11,962 --> 01:29:16,100 ♪ Baby, let's get sick again ♪ 2098 01:29:16,132 --> 01:29:17,867 [Man] There we go. 2099 01:29:17,922 --> 01:29:19,281 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 142508

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.