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1
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My name is Nick.
2
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My last name, which I loathe,is Twisp.
3
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,911
Which would be a nice name...
4
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:51,278
...if I planned on becomingan evil nurse in a mental institution.
5
00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:54,917
I am a voracious readerof classic prose...
6
00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,749
...an aspiring novelist...
7
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,118
...and feel the world would bea better place...
8
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,523
...if every radio station playedSinatra's "My One and Only Love"...
9
00:01:02,695 --> 00:01:03,957
...at least once an hour.
10
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,893
Needless to say, I'm still a virgin.
11
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,893
I live in Oaklandwith my charming mother.
12
00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:14,698
- Estelle...
- Her latest boyfriend, Jerry...
13
00:01:14,874 --> 00:01:16,899
...is a truck driverand pathological liar.
14
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,103
If a woman answered the phone,
it was probably just the maid.
15
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,248
He's a real prize.
16
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:24,608
I'm gonna bite you.
17
00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:26,217
No.
18
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,682
- Hi, Nick.
- Hi.
19
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:32,450
- Have three more for you.
- Oh, thanks, Mr. Ferguson.
20
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:36,152
Our neighbor Mr. Ferguson likes tobring us mail from our mailbox.
21
00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:40,060
He's a former activist witha bleeding heart and too much time.
22
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:42,724
He's always getting arrestedfor staging protests...
23
00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:45,132
...and harboring illegal aliensin his basement.
24
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:48,331
He's a good man, but very strange.
25
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,710
My dad is currently in between jobs.
26
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:54,847
He would loveto not have to work at all...
27
00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:57,983
...but he's burdened with cripplingchild-support payments.
28
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:00,142
When am I gonna start getting
an allowance?
29
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,447
I'm getting tired of not having
a cell phone.
30
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,489
I'm afraid you're gonna have to
work it out with your mom.
31
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:08,149
- Lacey is Dad's girlfriend.
- Baby...
32
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,558
...I cooked for you.
33
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,357
- You made me a snack.
- Come here.
34
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:15,330
She's 25and a budding cosmetologist.
35
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:18,403
- I love it.
- Does my baby like it?
36
00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:21,301
It's amazingand incredibly irritating to me...
37
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,637
...how much action everyonearound me seems to be getting.
38
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,210
With one exception.
39
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:30,144
My sister saw Millie holding hands
with some college guy.
40
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:34,343
My friend Lefty's had a crush on a girlnamed Millie Filbert since third grade.
41
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,921
He's the only personmore miserable than I am.
42
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:41,254
You know, I've been taping my dick
to my right leg at night with duct tape.
43
00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:43,657
I think of Millie
in her green summery dress...
44
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,390
...and I get hard.
It starts to push against the tape...
45
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,932
Putting counter-rotational
tension on the shaft.
46
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,228
- Right.
- That's nice.
47
00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:52,735
In case you haven't heard,Lefty's erect member...
48
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:56,137
...takes a sudden and dramatic turnto the east about midway up.
49
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:58,402
- War.
- Well, you might wanna get it fixed...
50
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,205
...before you ask Millie out.
51
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,870
That's very true.
52
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:04,346
What if I shove it up the wrong hole?
53
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:07,452
What if we go out
and she doesn't even like me?
54
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,645
We get to know each other
and she hates me?
55
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:11,380
We get married and have a kid...
56
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:14,652
...but he's not good at anything,
has no talents?
57
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,260
I wonder if it's worth it.
58
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:22,733
Either way, you probably wanna
get your dick straightened out.
59
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,530
- Is Jerry here?
- He just went out.
60
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,437
That hunk-of-shit Chevy he sold us...
61
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,737
...made it 17 miles
before the engine blew up.
62
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,403
And we found evidence of a banana
in the transmission.
63
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,209
So he owes us $900.
64
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:41,114
Well, I'm quite certain that he spent
that $900 on his new Lincoln.
65
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:44,723
Maybe you'd better come back
and speak with him directly.
66
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,883
He's a pretty stubborn man,
so you might have to get physical.
67
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,085
That can be arranged.
68
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,588
After living in Oaklandfor 16 years...
69
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:55,962
...I've noticed it's filled with womenwho have zero interest in me.
70
00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:57,466
Hey, Karen.
71
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:58,899
Nick.
72
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,632
Oh, right. Physics?
73
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,776
American History. You were close.
74
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:05,975
What is that?
75
00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:08,807
Oh, La Strada. It's a Fellini movie.
76
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,246
So random.
77
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,682
They were out of Miss Congeniality 2:Armed and Fabulous...
78
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,651
...so I went for a random...
79
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:20,623
- Chad. Fuck you.
- Oh, fuck you, you love it.
80
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:24,024
Hey, does that movie come with
tampons for your pussy?
81
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,132
You know, Chad,
I'll be upset if it doesn't.
82
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,430
In the movies,the good guy gets the girl.
83
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,936
In real life it's usually the prick.
84
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,369
Nick, get out here.
85
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,438
Nick.
86
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,336
Nick.
87
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:44,647
Nick, do you know anything
about this?
88
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:47,752
Oh, yeah. Those sailors came by.
They want their money back.
89
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,151
Apparently there was some sort of
banana in the transmission.
90
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,225
You tell them I was coming back?
91
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:58,489
Now, why would I do that?
92
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,961
Jerry, what are you gonna do?
93
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,567
Go get the Lincoln washed.
94
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,293
You're leaving?
95
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,439
What happens when
that sailor comes back?
96
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,202
To escape the threatof ill-tempered sailors...
97
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,367
...we're going to Clear Lakefor a week...
98
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,945
...to stay in a cabin owned bya friend of Jerry's.
99
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:18,948
Since I have no life,I figure I have nothing to lose.
100
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:24,188
We're going on vacation.
101
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,528
Jerry.
102
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,362
I thought you said it was a cabin.
103
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,434
Come on, Estelle.
It's real cute on the inside.
104
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,626
I say we let the kid do the dishes...
105
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,491
...and you and I
retire to the master bedroom.
106
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,001
Do you think Jerry is
someone that I can...
107
00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,644
...look forward to having around
for years to come?
108
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:03,373
Nick, how many men are interested
in a woman who's 48 years old...
109
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,177
...has a kid, no money
and stretch marks?
110
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,650
I think you're selling yourself short,
Mom.
111
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,654
Leave open the possibility
of a stretch-mark fetishist.
112
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,190
Oh, watch your smart mouth.
113
00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:21,790
So you're gonna do the dishes,
okay, hon?
114
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,664
Gerald and I will be in back,
playing Scrabble.
115
00:08:58,337 --> 00:08:59,861
Your robe's open.
116
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:33,669
- So are you staying near here?
- We live down the block.
117
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,830
Oh, spitting distance.
118
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:37,475
So to speak.
119
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,242
Hi, Stuck-up.
120
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,405
- Hi.
- Honey, this is Sheeni Saunders.
121
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,347
She stopped by to introduce herself.
Isn't that neighborly?
122
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:49,580
- Yes. Yes.
- She's on her way to the store.
123
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,814
I volunteered your help
carrying her bags.
124
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,288
Sounds fun.
125
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,758
You know, your family's arrival...
126
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,696
...excited considerable interest
among the residents.
127
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:06,568
- Your father's beer cooler on the...
- Oh, no, he's not my father.
128
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:08,297
Jerry's my mother's consort.
129
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:11,068
He and I
have no blood links of any kind.
130
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,906
Well, that seems to be
worth something.
131
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:22,382
Yesterday the most exciting thingin my life...
132
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:26,252
...was the thought of Jerry beingbeaten senseless by three sailors.
133
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:30,225
Now I'm spending timewith a beautiful, interesting girl...
134
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,159
...and I have no ideahow it happened.
135
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:34,026
Here we are.
136
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,961
Wow, a second floor.
137
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:40,105
Yes. Father bought it so we could
look down on the world.
138
00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:41,705
What does your father do?
139
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,466
He's a lawyer.
140
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:47,406
Wow, this is really nice.
141
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:59,118
- Where are your parents?
- They're at church.
142
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,691
Would you like a tour?
143
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,386
Sure.
144
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,388
Kitchen.
145
00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:10,091
This is Mother's Farfisa organ.
146
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:15,267
Father added this extension
so he could fit these 64 pipes in.
147
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:20,775
Dining room.
148
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:24,544
Here's a family portrait.
149
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:31,982
And this is my room.
150
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,465
Didn't you just love Breathless?
151
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,936
Jean-Paul was completely gripping.
152
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,739
If you like French people, I suppose.
Yeah.
153
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,973
I can see it.
154
00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:54,135
I think my favorite film
was Tokyo Story.
155
00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:56,543
I just think Mizoguchi
is a great director.
156
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,775
It's a great film.
157
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,814
But wasn't that by Ozu?
158
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,623
Who can say?
159
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:13,062
There's nothing quite as good
as vinyl.
160
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,564
Yeah, it's very textural.
161
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:21,472
- Do you like Frank Sinatra?
- I do.
162
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:24,874
But my all-time favorite is...
163
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,072
...Serge Gainsbourg.
164
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,574
So you really like the French,
don't you?
165
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,343
I wanna live in France.
166
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:35,919
I wanna live all over the world.
167
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:39,324
I know there's so much more
than this out there.
168
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,022
My parents are religious fanatics.
169
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:47,961
They're exhausting.
170
00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:00,539
- Bye.
- Bye.
171
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,143
Hey, Sheeni?
172
00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:12,488
Do you think you'd like to join me
at the beach tomorrow after breakfast?
173
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,450
I'd love to.
174
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,239
- Yes?
- Hello, Mr. Saunders. I'm Nick.
175
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:35,437
I'm here to see Sheeni.
176
00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:39,047
I understand you've invited her
to the beach.
177
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:40,708
That's right.
178
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,412
Well, I trust, sir,
you are aware that in doing so...
179
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,649
...you have entered into
an oral contract...
180
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,384
...to perform in loco parentis...
181
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,689
...i.e., to provide for
the safety and welfare...
182
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:55,027
...of aforementioned minor female.
183
00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,599
- Ready?
- Very ready.
184
00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:03,331
Bye, Father.
185
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,500
Goodbye, Mr. Saunders.
186
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:10,977
Would you mind applying this
to my exposed areas?
187
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,174
Sure.
188
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:46,709
You get turned on easily.
189
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,618
Don't stop, Nick. It's only natural.
190
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:55,526
Girls are fortunate
in that it doesn't show.
191
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:56,922
For all the world knows...
192
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,826
...my vagina could be moist
with desire as we speak.
193
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:02,591
Is it?
194
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,838
Should we do my front now?
195
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:10,006
Okay.
196
00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:11,904
I'm up for it.
197
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,422
Thank you.
198
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:47,811
What's your last name?
199
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,106
Dillinger.
200
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:57,615
Twisp.
201
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,730
Sheeni Saunders.
202
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:10,996
She's complicated, mischievousand at this point...
203
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:14,503
...I'd be willing to give upeverything in my life to be with her.
204
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:21,240
Nick, you're very nice,
but I should tell you I have a boyfriend.
205
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,244
Oh, I see.
206
00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:25,309
His name is Trent.
207
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,510
We've been together
for a while, actually.
208
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:31,013
What's he like?
209
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,053
He's 17...
210
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:35,716
...6'2", fluent in French...
211
00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:39,352
...plays the piano,
is a champion swimmer...
212
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:42,625
...and writes futurist
percussive poetry.
213
00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:46,527
Oh, I'm not familiar with
futurist percussive poems.
214
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:49,469
I could recite one of Trent's,
if you'd like.
215
00:16:49,641 --> 00:16:51,165
Please do.
216
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,679
Ram dam 12
217
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,178
Sizzle mop
218
00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:58,105
Crunch down
219
00:16:58,283 --> 00:17:00,114
Safety net
220
00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:03,482
Hot, hot, hotVoid
221
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:08,718
Well, that certainly sounds like
a poem.
222
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,862
Jeez, he sounds great.
223
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:14,222
Well, you know, I also have
a sweetheart for the moment, so...
224
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,960
Really? What's her name?
225
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:20,572
Her name is Martha Singwall.
She's 16.
226
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,037
She's got toasted almond hair, so...
227
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:26,439
She's only just recently returned
from Nice...
228
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,513
...where she's been conducting
sociological research...
229
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:33,412
...on the assimilation problems
of Italian immigrant workers...
230
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:34,779
...down there.
231
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:38,684
She's also a professional model
that specializes in lingerie.
232
00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:41,951
She likes me quite a bit.
She tells me that she loves my hair.
233
00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:47,095
- She sounds wonderful.
- Yes, I think you'd like her, Sheeni.
234
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:50,565
Trent sounds great, too,
aside from being freakishly tall.
235
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,364
He certainly does seem to have
a knack for...
236
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:56,531
...smashing ungraceful words
together...
237
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,738
...and deeming it a poem.
238
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:02,512
Well, thanks for a lovely day, Nick.
239
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,308
Don't mention it.
240
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,577
I think of this girl being swept awayby some pretentious poet...
241
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,416
...and it crushes me.
242
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,023
She could never like me.
243
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:16,821
Unless I decided to radically changeevery detail of my personality...
244
00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:18,690
...I'm going to die a virgin.
245
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:32,543
- Nick?
- Sheeni, nice to see you.
246
00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:34,906
I was going for a walk
and thought I'd drop by.
247
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,277
I remembered that you lived here.
I'm sorry I got upset about Trent.
248
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,645
It was immature.
I'm not normally like that.
249
00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:43,879
He sounds like a great guy.
I'd love to hear more of his poetry.
250
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,217
Do you wanna go to the beach?
Or get breakfast?
251
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:48,518
Actually, I'm going on a hike.
252
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:49,854
I'd ask you to come...
253
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:53,088
...but you haven't got boots,
provisions, maps or a compass.
254
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:56,496
I do all my hiking freeform. Like
John Muir, I enter the wilderness...
255
00:18:56,668 --> 00:19:00,069
...with nothing more than my journal
and a child-like sense of wonder.
256
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:31,268
What the hell is going on?
This is a private journal.
257
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:35,633
Trent is not an affected twit.
258
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:38,605
Sheeni, how would you like it
if I read your journal?
259
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,203
Go ahead.
260
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:52,155
It's written in a shorthand
of my own devising.
261
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,417
A necessity for a girl
with Christian parents.
262
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,026
What does this say?
263
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,958
Wouldn't you like to know?
264
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,293
That last passage would be
of particular interest to you.
265
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:02,899
I doubt that.
266
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:07,528
I have very little interest in reading
about Trent's beautiful shoulders.
267
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:14,072
I haven't made love with Trent,
if that's what you wanna know.
268
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,816
I've only made love once
and it was less than erotic.
269
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,146
But I hear it gets better with practice.
270
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:29,091
You're a virgin. I can tell.
271
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:37,292
Kiss me, you weenie.
272
00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:02,090
Sheeni, I think I love you.
273
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,353
Of course you do.
274
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,496
Well, your hormones certainly do.
275
00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:09,761
Sheeni.
276
00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:12,499
Yes, Mother. I'm just here with Nick.
277
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:15,003
Let's see this young heathen.
278
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,533
Hello, Mrs. Saunders.
It's nice to meet you.
279
00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,472
I doubt that very much.
280
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:22,079
- See you tomorrow, Nick.
- Okay. Goodbye, Sheeni.
281
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:23,339
Goodbye, Mrs. Saunders.
282
00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:26,678
Look into your soul, young man,
before it's too late.
283
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,376
I will.
284
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:34,217
Jerry sniffed out a trailerhe wants to buy...
285
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,020
...and insisted we go check it out.
286
00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:39,857
I told Sheeni I was going towrite a book about her.
287
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,500
She said it was a terrible idea.
288
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:52,008
Jerry, all the closets
are full of mouse doodies.
289
00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:54,042
- I might take 950.
- Nine hundred.
290
00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:56,373
- Nine-ten.
- We're in business.
291
00:21:57,849 --> 00:22:00,716
Oh, come here.
Come here, come here.
292
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:03,912
Hello. Hello.
293
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:06,284
Nicky, look, isn't he cute?
294
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:08,392
He's adorable.
295
00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:10,825
How much?
296
00:22:11,229 --> 00:22:12,560
Ten dollars.
297
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:24,168
All I have is a Subway card
with four stickers.
298
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,069
Sold.
299
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,977
Thank you, Nicky.
300
00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:39,084
I think I'm going to name him Albert.
301
00:22:39,257 --> 00:22:41,748
After Albert Camus.
302
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:01,305
That night was my first indisputablemake-out session with a girl.
303
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,971
After grappling in the warm darknesswith Sheeni...
304
00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:06,379
...I found this note in my back pocket.
305
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:08,883
I thought she had beencaressing my ass.
306
00:23:11,456 --> 00:23:12,548
Dear Nick.
307
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,056
Please excuse mefor reading your journal.
308
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,923
I have found that peoplewho can resist temptation...
309
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:21,395
...invariably leaddepressingly stunted lives.
310
00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:24,831
Naturally I was charmedby what you wrote about me.
311
00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:28,439
Your contemplation of suicideand your invention of Martha...
312
00:23:28,607 --> 00:23:32,509
...cannot help but evoke a strongemotional response in my breast.
313
00:23:33,111 --> 00:23:34,601
We are both young.
314
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:38,011
Let's just liveand what happens will happen.
315
00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:41,710
Yours affectionately, Sheeni.
316
00:23:51,463 --> 00:23:53,260
I have to leave today.
317
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:57,698
Jerry threw his back out last night
in bed with my mother...
318
00:23:57,869 --> 00:24:01,965
...so he has to be reunited with
his painkillers back in Oakland.
319
00:24:02,808 --> 00:24:04,833
We're leaving in an hour.
320
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,936
So this will be goodbye.
321
00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:11,482
Goodbye.
322
00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:13,550
You don't have to act so brave,
Sheeni.
323
00:24:13,718 --> 00:24:15,686
I wouldn't judge you
if you started to cry.
324
00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:18,721
No, Nicky. It's Albert.
325
00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:20,881
He snuck out of my room last night.
326
00:24:21,059 --> 00:24:24,392
When I woke up,
he had shredded the family Bible.
327
00:24:24,563 --> 00:24:26,394
My parents took it as a sign of evil.
328
00:24:26,565 --> 00:24:29,659
Now I have to find someone
who will take him.
329
00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:32,099
- Well, I'll take him.
- You will?
330
00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:36,172
I'll have to hide him from my mother
because she can't stand dogs...
331
00:24:36,341 --> 00:24:38,332
...but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
332
00:24:38,510 --> 00:24:40,478
He's our lovechild.
333
00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:43,872
Sheeni, I can't stand
the thought of you...
334
00:24:44,049 --> 00:24:47,576
...falling in love with some
egotistical poet while I'm gone.
335
00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:50,380
I've had a great time with you.
336
00:24:50,555 --> 00:24:52,682
It was a really lovely summer fling.
337
00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:56,923
But I can't put my whole life on hold.
338
00:24:58,063 --> 00:24:59,587
You don't even live here.
339
00:24:59,764 --> 00:25:02,892
But we could run away together.
We can escape our families...
340
00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:04,660
...live like outlaws together.
341
00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:08,169
No offense, Nicky,
but it's not exactly in your constitution.
342
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:12,106
What if my dad could get a job here
in Ukiah and I come live with him?
343
00:25:12,878 --> 00:25:15,403
My mother depends on
the child-support money...
344
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:17,377
...but maybe I could get kicked out.
345
00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:19,574
That's a lot of what-ifs.
346
00:25:19,751 --> 00:25:23,448
Do you think you could help me find
some job opportunities for my dad?
347
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:25,946
It's possible.
348
00:25:26,124 --> 00:25:28,285
We can do this, Sheeni.
This can happen.
349
00:25:29,928 --> 00:25:32,590
Well, look at you
taking control of the situation.
350
00:25:32,764 --> 00:25:34,994
I'll do whatever I have to do.
351
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:40,064
I've never had anything in my life
that I wanted to fight for so much.
352
00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:43,537
Then we'll have to figure out a way
for you to be kicked out.
353
00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:46,074
You have to be bad, Nicky.
354
00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:49,680
Be very, very bad.
355
00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:52,009
I have a tall mountain to climb...
356
00:25:52,183 --> 00:25:54,413
...with many treacherous glaciersto cross.
357
00:25:54,586 --> 00:26:00,286
But finally I've obtained an entry visato the paradise that lays beyond.
358
00:26:00,458 --> 00:26:02,426
I won't let him out of my sight.
359
00:26:29,487 --> 00:26:31,318
Where's the Nova?
360
00:26:31,489 --> 00:26:34,481
See that, babe? They took it back.
361
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:36,752
Sailors are all talk...
362
00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:38,953
...all the time.
363
00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:44,093
Jerry.
364
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,328
Shit on a goddamn dick.
365
00:26:46,504 --> 00:26:51,407
I have spent the last 15 years trying
to get this house to look just perfect.
366
00:26:51,576 --> 00:26:55,706
Oh, God, Nick. Go get a pan quick.
It's dripping on my new shag.
367
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,780
Yeah, I'll get a pan.
368
00:26:57,949 --> 00:27:00,850
You should have given that man
his money back.
369
00:27:03,221 --> 00:27:06,019
Holy shit. There's still water
in the windshield thing.
370
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:08,952
But how'd they even get it in here?
371
00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:12,460
Looks like they took it apart
piece by piece and then...
372
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:14,724
...reassembled it.
373
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,127
But that would take
an army of mechanics to do that.
374
00:27:20,238 --> 00:27:21,728
Or a Navy.
375
00:27:21,906 --> 00:27:23,908
Or a Navy, baby.
376
00:27:36,554 --> 00:27:39,546
I told my parents about my sister
going all the way with Carlo.
377
00:27:39,724 --> 00:27:42,921
Now she's playing that damn
Ashlee Simpson album over and over.
378
00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:46,222
My life is a living hell, Nick.
It is a living hell.
379
00:27:46,398 --> 00:27:49,492
Damn. I think I've got something
to cheer you up, my friend.
380
00:27:49,934 --> 00:27:51,697
His name is Albert.
381
00:27:51,870 --> 00:27:54,304
I don't know why you have a dog.
You hate dogs.
382
00:27:54,472 --> 00:27:56,906
This is more than a dog.
383
00:27:57,075 --> 00:28:00,442
This is my only tangible link
to the love of my life.
384
00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:02,341
You met a girl?
385
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,482
She isn't just a girl, Lefty.
386
00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:06,617
She's a comely angel...
387
00:28:06,785 --> 00:28:09,652
...sent to teach me about
all that is good in the world.
388
00:28:09,821 --> 00:28:12,016
Is she prettier than Millie Filbert?
389
00:28:12,457 --> 00:28:13,924
Lefty...
390
00:28:14,092 --> 00:28:16,458
...after seeing Sheeni
you would look at Millie...
391
00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:19,495
...and you would see
no more than a slatternly wench...
392
00:28:19,664 --> 00:28:23,532
...trying to muddy your perception
of what a pretty girl should be.
393
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:26,034
How do I know you're not
making this girl up?
394
00:28:32,677 --> 00:28:35,271
Your life has really changed since
I last saw you, Nick.
395
00:28:36,347 --> 00:28:38,542
How are things going with Millie?
396
00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:42,984
I got this book,
Lovemaking for Advanced Gourmets.
397
00:28:43,154 --> 00:28:45,850
I'm looking up some tips
so I can really blow her mind.
398
00:28:46,024 --> 00:28:47,889
For instance, there's one in here.
399
00:28:48,059 --> 00:28:51,426
You're supposed to stick your pinkie
inside of a girl's bumhole.
400
00:28:51,596 --> 00:28:52,858
- Liar.
- Read it and weep.
401
00:28:53,031 --> 00:28:54,999
I have it marked right there.
402
00:28:57,869 --> 00:29:01,965
I think that Sheeni might find this
pinkie technique less than romantic.
403
00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:05,507
Could I borrow this? Might be one
or two things I should know.
404
00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:07,145
Yeah, it's fine.
405
00:29:12,984 --> 00:29:15,009
- Hello?
- Hi, Nicky.
406
00:29:15,186 --> 00:29:17,916
Have you any misdeeds to report?
407
00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:19,818
I'm working on it.
408
00:29:19,991 --> 00:29:21,515
Nicky.
409
00:29:21,693 --> 00:29:24,423
- You sound concerned.
- lf you don't take the initiative...
410
00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,121
...how do you think you'll feel
when I marry Francois?
411
00:29:27,298 --> 00:29:28,492
Who's Francois?
412
00:29:28,666 --> 00:29:30,634
My future French husband.
413
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,600
Well, I mean,I can't wait for you forever.
414
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:40,137
Nick, how is my darling Albert?
415
00:29:40,311 --> 00:29:41,539
Albert is great.
416
00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:44,307
We've been going on
these bonding jogs twice daily...
417
00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:46,643
...which he loves.
I've been enjoying them too.
418
00:29:46,818 --> 00:29:48,911
They've been getting me
into great shape.
419
00:29:49,087 --> 00:29:50,918
That's wonderful, darling.
420
00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:54,281
My one and only loveneeds me to be bad...
421
00:29:55,527 --> 00:29:58,826
...to overcome the inhibitionsthat compel me to be law-abiding...
422
00:29:58,997 --> 00:30:01,898
...polite to my eldersand excessively nice.
423
00:30:02,066 --> 00:30:04,534
I have decided to createa supplementary persona...
424
00:30:04,702 --> 00:30:06,761
...named Francois Dillinger.
425
00:30:08,439 --> 00:30:09,667
Bold...
426
00:30:09,841 --> 00:30:11,468
...contemptuous of authority...
427
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,975
...and irresistible to women.
428
00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:17,276
Francois is just the typeof aggressive sociopath...
429
00:30:17,448 --> 00:30:20,212
...who can wage, and win,a war of nerves.
430
00:30:30,428 --> 00:30:32,988
Better give your mother a hug, son.
431
00:30:33,765 --> 00:30:34,959
Oh, no.
432
00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:38,899
It turns out Jerry had a heart attackin a Dallas bar and took it badly.
433
00:30:39,070 --> 00:30:40,162
He died.
434
00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:43,239
When will the body arrive?
435
00:30:44,309 --> 00:30:46,504
I'm afraid it's already been
shipped, ma'am...
436
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:47,872
...to his wife.
437
00:30:48,046 --> 00:30:50,139
His wife?
438
00:30:51,082 --> 00:30:53,175
Yes, ma'am, his wife.
439
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:58,448
It's also my duty to inform you
she wishes to claim the Lincoln...
440
00:30:58,623 --> 00:31:01,649
...which he registered
to this address.
441
00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:09,397
It's okay.
442
00:31:09,567 --> 00:31:11,831
There, there. It's gonna be okay.
443
00:31:12,003 --> 00:31:14,767
There, there.
Everything will be okay.
444
00:31:28,119 --> 00:31:30,212
Those are my records.
What are you doing?
445
00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:34,188
You're not gonna get this girl by
listening to records and jerking off.
446
00:31:34,359 --> 00:31:36,850
Well, that wasn't my entire plan.
447
00:31:37,028 --> 00:31:38,393
What is your plan, shithead?
448
00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:41,657
Slouching your shoulders
while Trent boy has her on his lap?
449
00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:44,393
I don't need you here right now.
I just need to think.
450
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:46,059
Well, I'm not going anywhere.
451
00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:48,797
Not until you sink your filthy dick
in this tomato.
452
00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:51,671
Not until you get what you want.
453
00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:55,338
Now it's time to rebel, Nick.
454
00:31:55,513 --> 00:31:57,378
It's time to be bad.
455
00:31:57,548 --> 00:32:01,177
It's not a good day for that.
My mom got some devastating news.
456
00:32:02,020 --> 00:32:03,715
That's perfect.
457
00:32:03,888 --> 00:32:05,651
She's vulnerable.
458
00:32:05,823 --> 00:32:07,757
She's fragile.
459
00:32:08,226 --> 00:32:11,218
Now, what does she value
more than anything?
460
00:32:12,530 --> 00:32:14,828
She values her things.
461
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,464
With the guidance of Francois...
462
00:32:23,641 --> 00:32:26,838
...I quickly transformed myselfinto a textbook juvenile delinquent.
463
00:32:29,347 --> 00:32:31,542
Sheeni has held upher end of the bargain...
464
00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:35,015
...by finding Dad work at a magazinecalled Progressive Plywood.
465
00:32:35,186 --> 00:32:37,780
She called himpretending to be a headhunter.
466
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,117
- Really?
- It took some convincing on her part.
467
00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:42,885
Sounds cool,
but I don't know much about wood.
468
00:32:43,061 --> 00:32:44,653
That's not what I've heard.
469
00:32:44,829 --> 00:32:48,162
To my chagrin, the magazine isowned by the father of Trent Preston.
470
00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:51,234
- Let me go first, this is heavy.
- There were no other options.
471
00:32:51,402 --> 00:32:52,767
Nice house, right?
472
00:33:01,512 --> 00:33:03,878
Oh, thank you.
473
00:33:05,950 --> 00:33:07,781
Oh, thanks. Ex-squeeze me.
474
00:33:07,952 --> 00:33:09,010
Sit over there.
475
00:33:10,188 --> 00:33:13,055
- Oh, Nicky.
- Morning, everyone.
476
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:16,525
Isn't it nice of Officer Westcott
to drop by so early...
477
00:33:16,694 --> 00:33:19,254
...and have breakfast with us?
478
00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:22,228
Oh, it sure was. Yeah, that's nice.
479
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,369
Oh, your father called.
He got a job in Ukiah.
480
00:33:25,536 --> 00:33:27,436
That's good for him.
481
00:33:27,605 --> 00:33:29,072
Good.
482
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:34,706
Do you think it might be a good idea
if I moved in with him for a little bit?
483
00:33:34,879 --> 00:33:37,143
You know as well as I do
that's not gonna work.
484
00:33:37,315 --> 00:33:39,545
I depend on that
child-support money to eat.
485
00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:44,315
Shouldn't you depend on child-support
money to support your child?
486
00:33:44,489 --> 00:33:48,050
Hey, be nice to your mom, kid.
She's grieving.
487
00:33:53,498 --> 00:33:56,262
When do I take this off?
How long do you leave it on for?
488
00:33:56,434 --> 00:33:59,028
Just leave it on for three minutes.
489
00:34:04,475 --> 00:34:05,999
Shit.
490
00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:09,108
Those fuckers
are taking a shower together.
491
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:11,143
How repulsive.
492
00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,619
- Shit! Shit! Turn it off!
- Fuck!
493
00:34:32,670 --> 00:34:35,332
What was all that racket last night?
494
00:34:39,944 --> 00:34:42,572
Nicky, I'm sorry if we disturbed you.
495
00:34:42,747 --> 00:34:45,238
You know, this is my home too.
496
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:49,481
All of a sudden some stranger starts
staying over, I'm not even consulted.
497
00:34:51,355 --> 00:34:54,051
What's with you, kid?
Just mind your own damn business.
498
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:55,658
No, you mind your business.
499
00:34:55,827 --> 00:34:57,852
He's my son.
500
00:34:59,063 --> 00:35:02,999
Nicky, you're right. I should have
informed you that Officer Westcott...
501
00:35:03,167 --> 00:35:06,034
...was gonna be spending the evening.
I'm sorry.
502
00:35:06,204 --> 00:35:09,537
I thought there were laws in the city
against illicit cohabitation.
503
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:13,376
Or are they just another
big policeman's joke?
504
00:35:13,544 --> 00:35:16,604
Kid, you're asking for trouble.
Just don't.
505
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:18,112
Just don't.
506
00:35:18,549 --> 00:35:20,779
Or what are you gonna do?
507
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:22,044
Shoot me with your gun?
508
00:35:22,487 --> 00:35:25,115
All right, all right. Lance.
Okay, okay, okay.
509
00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:28,417
You just shut your mouth right now.
Right now.
510
00:35:29,327 --> 00:35:31,124
Thanks for breakfast.
511
00:35:31,295 --> 00:35:33,456
Where are you going?
512
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:47,638
What are those for?
513
00:35:48,679 --> 00:35:52,240
You and I are gonna find a nice quiet
parking lot and set this baby on fire.
514
00:35:52,416 --> 00:35:55,214
- I thought we were gonna wreck it.
- Use your head.
515
00:35:55,386 --> 00:35:57,752
No sense getting killed for a girl.
516
00:36:06,864 --> 00:36:09,924
- Sure you know what you're doing?
- Relax, kid. I read the book.
517
00:36:10,101 --> 00:36:12,069
Okay, pull over. Pull over.
518
00:36:12,937 --> 00:36:14,234
We have to pull over.
519
00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:16,339
Pull over now.
520
00:36:17,475 --> 00:36:18,772
Okay.
521
00:36:18,943 --> 00:36:22,674
We need to consider our actions
and what the consequences will be.
522
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:24,405
Listen, asshole.
523
00:36:24,582 --> 00:36:28,541
You've been making all the decisions
for 16 years. Look at where you are.
524
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:30,550
I'm here to rescue you from yourself.
525
00:36:30,721 --> 00:36:33,053
Just be quiet
and let me blow some shit up.
526
00:36:33,224 --> 00:36:36,387
Can I make one request since
it's my life that we're talking about?
527
00:36:36,561 --> 00:36:39,655
Can we keep it to the absolute
minimum amount of destruction?
528
00:36:39,830 --> 00:36:41,730
Yeah, perfect. Okay.
529
00:36:41,899 --> 00:36:44,424
Absolute minimum. That's good.
530
00:36:44,602 --> 00:36:46,194
I like that.
531
00:37:25,576 --> 00:37:26,838
Let's get out of here!
532
00:38:51,929 --> 00:38:54,090
Luckily no major injurieswere reported...
533
00:38:54,265 --> 00:38:57,200
...though several firefighterswere hospitalized due to...
534
00:38:58,869 --> 00:39:00,461
Hi, guys. How was dinner?
535
00:39:00,638 --> 00:39:02,401
Keep your lips sewn, fucker.
536
00:39:02,573 --> 00:39:05,872
You stole your mother's car and trailer
and you set a $5 million fire?
537
00:39:06,043 --> 00:39:08,204
I refuse to stand for
such allegations.
538
00:39:08,379 --> 00:39:10,609
Nicky, they have a description
of the arsonist.
539
00:39:10,781 --> 00:39:13,773
Right here. "White teenage male,
approximately 5'9".
540
00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:16,613
135 pounds, dirty blond hair.
541
00:39:16,787 --> 00:39:23,351
Last seen pulling a trailer with 'God's
Perfect Asshole' painted on the side."
542
00:39:23,527 --> 00:39:24,755
That could be anyone.
543
00:39:24,929 --> 00:39:28,296
God, my only son is going to prison.
What am I gonna do?
544
00:39:28,466 --> 00:39:31,526
No, no, no.
545
00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:33,863
It's gonna be okay.
546
00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:36,199
You know what? I'll tell you what.
547
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:40,743
I'll just say that Nick reported the car
stolen before the fire.
548
00:39:40,911 --> 00:39:43,880
This way it'll get him off the hook.
Okay?
549
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:48,413
But I could take
some serious, serious heat for this.
550
00:39:48,586 --> 00:39:50,679
Oh, Lance, you are so wonderful.
551
00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:53,119
What can I ever do to repay you?
552
00:39:53,758 --> 00:39:55,248
I'll think of something.
553
00:39:55,426 --> 00:39:57,758
Oh, but you know what?
You know what, baby?
554
00:39:58,262 --> 00:40:02,790
I don't think he should be here
when the detectives come around.
555
00:40:02,967 --> 00:40:04,491
Right?
556
00:40:04,668 --> 00:40:09,162
So the best thing to do
is to send him away for a while.
557
00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:15,311
Let him go make his father's life
miserable for a change.
558
00:40:15,479 --> 00:40:17,947
- But I like it here.
- You're gone, buster.
559
00:40:20,117 --> 00:40:21,141
Hello?
560
00:40:21,318 --> 00:40:24,344
Your son just burned down Berkeley.
Come and get the brat.
561
00:40:24,522 --> 00:40:26,456
- Estelle?
- Start packing your bags.
562
00:40:26,624 --> 00:40:29,024
Oh, no, no.
563
00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:31,024
Aren't you going to punish him?
564
00:40:31,195 --> 00:40:33,629
I'd say he deserves a good hiding.
565
00:40:33,798 --> 00:40:37,461
He's just too much for me anymore.
Can you do it, hon?
566
00:40:37,635 --> 00:40:39,830
Yeah, I could help you out.
567
00:40:46,544 --> 00:40:48,375
I stepped away for a few minutes.
568
00:40:48,546 --> 00:40:51,515
Francois volunteeredto take the thrashing.
569
00:40:51,682 --> 00:40:54,708
A painful sacrificefor the woman I love.
570
00:40:55,686 --> 00:40:57,586
You through, big man?
571
00:41:02,059 --> 00:41:04,357
So off we go to beautiful Ukiah...
572
00:41:04,528 --> 00:41:06,519
...where soon I'll bein the warm embrace...
573
00:41:06,697 --> 00:41:09,257
...of the motherof my future gifted children.
574
00:41:19,076 --> 00:41:20,737
- Hello?
- Sheeni, it's Nick.
575
00:41:22,012 --> 00:41:23,843
Hi, darling. Where are you?
576
00:41:24,014 --> 00:41:26,141
I'm here. I'm in Ukiah.
577
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:28,547
I'm living with my dad.My mother kicked me out.
578
00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:29,913
How did you do it?
579
00:41:30,087 --> 00:41:32,885
I stole my mother's car
and burned down half of Berkeley.
580
00:41:33,057 --> 00:41:35,355
She had no choicebut to send me away.
581
00:41:35,526 --> 00:41:38,495
- Nicky, that's incredible.
- Well, I did it for you, Sheeni.
582
00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:40,789
I did it so that we could be together.
583
00:41:40,965 --> 00:41:43,399
I bet you didn't think I had it in me,
did you?
584
00:41:43,567 --> 00:41:46,092
That is so romantic, Nicky.
I don't know what to say.
585
00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:47,669
It'll be just like we planned.
586
00:41:47,838 --> 00:41:50,102
It'll be you and me and Albert,
all together.
587
00:41:51,408 --> 00:41:53,342
Hello, Mr. Saunders.
Is Sheeni available?
588
00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:55,103
She most certainly is not.
589
00:41:55,279 --> 00:41:57,941
We know all about what you did
in Berkeley, young man.
590
00:41:58,115 --> 00:42:02,347
You are lucky I don't strangle you
right here in Christ's eyes.
591
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,011
You're the devil
and that dog is a hell beast.
592
00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:08,920
You're lucky we don't call the police
and have you arrested right now.
593
00:42:09,093 --> 00:42:10,754
You're not gonna let me
see Sheeni?
594
00:42:10,928 --> 00:42:11,952
Sheeni's leaving.
595
00:42:12,129 --> 00:42:13,756
- We're sending her away.
- What?
596
00:42:13,931 --> 00:42:16,229
To boarding school,
where she'll be safe.
597
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,860
She's had a lot of bad influences
here in Ukiah, you being the worst.
598
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:23,438
I'm in love with Sheeni.
I can't live without her.
599
00:42:23,607 --> 00:42:25,905
Live without her or die,
we have no preference.
600
00:42:26,076 --> 00:42:28,340
Stay out of our family's life.
601
00:42:32,182 --> 00:42:33,774
Later Sheeni called and told me...
602
00:42:33,951 --> 00:42:36,886
...she managed to turn disasterinto an opportunity for herself.
603
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:38,351
She convinced her parents...
604
00:42:38,522 --> 00:42:41,719
...to send her to a French prep school200 miles away in Santa Cruz.
605
00:42:41,892 --> 00:42:45,589
She says she's been wanting to go tothis school since she was a little girl...
606
00:42:45,763 --> 00:42:46,991
...and that going there...
607
00:42:47,164 --> 00:42:50,065
...will improve her chancesfor going to school in Paris.
608
00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:51,394
Things are bad.
609
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:54,094
How am I supposed to eat
with this hideous dog staring?
610
00:42:54,271 --> 00:42:55,966
He likes you, George.
611
00:42:56,140 --> 00:42:57,937
Well, the feeling's not mutual.
612
00:42:59,443 --> 00:43:00,603
Nick?
613
00:43:00,778 --> 00:43:04,373
You won't be getting an allowance.
Might wanna think about getting a job.
614
00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:06,709
- Okay.
- There's an opening at my office.
615
00:43:06,884 --> 00:43:08,442
Typing and filing after school.
616
00:43:08,619 --> 00:43:10,610
Isn't that what that boy Trent does?
617
00:43:10,788 --> 00:43:14,224
Trent went away to some
French-speaking prep school...
618
00:43:14,391 --> 00:43:16,916
...down south. Santa Cruz, I think.
619
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:29,398
Hello.
620
00:43:29,573 --> 00:43:32,098
- You're new here, right?
- Yeah.
621
00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:34,608
I'm Vijay Joshi. It's nice to meet you.
622
00:43:34,778 --> 00:43:36,473
Nick Twisp. Pleasure to meet you.
623
00:43:42,252 --> 00:43:45,016
So have you made many friends
in Ukiah yet, Nick?
624
00:43:45,189 --> 00:43:47,282
Not really.
I moved here for my girlfriend...
625
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:50,120
...and she just went to some
French school in Santa Cruz.
626
00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:53,695
- Sheeni Saunders?
- Yeah. Did you know her?
627
00:43:53,864 --> 00:43:55,195
We were locker neighbors.
628
00:43:55,366 --> 00:43:58,392
So you are her new fellow?
629
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:00,895
I'm surprised.
630
00:44:01,071 --> 00:44:02,663
Why's that?
631
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,673
It's just that to replace
the magnificent Trent Preston...
632
00:44:05,843 --> 00:44:08,403
...one expects at least a minor deity.
633
00:44:09,380 --> 00:44:12,679
It's good to know us short fellows
have appeal with the ladies.
634
00:44:12,850 --> 00:44:16,809
Right. I believe I'm of average height
for my age, Vijay.
635
00:44:16,987 --> 00:44:18,682
Do tell Sheeni I say hello.
636
00:44:18,856 --> 00:44:21,450
How fortunate
to attend L'Ecole des Arts.
637
00:44:21,625 --> 00:44:23,183
I've always wanted to go.
638
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,692
- Do you speak French?
- Yes, fluently.
639
00:44:25,863 --> 00:44:28,263
She says English is forbidden
on campus.
640
00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:32,960
"Even if you are hemorrhaging
from an accidental limb amputation."
641
00:44:33,570 --> 00:44:35,697
She has a roommate from New York,
Taggarty...
642
00:44:35,873 --> 00:44:37,807
...who has already slept with
17 guys...
643
00:44:37,975 --> 00:44:40,341
...and hopes to rack up 50
before college.
644
00:44:41,011 --> 00:44:42,808
I really must meet this girl.
645
00:44:43,580 --> 00:44:44,604
Keep going.
646
00:44:44,782 --> 00:44:46,716
She says Trent has taken up
windsurfing...
647
00:44:46,884 --> 00:44:49,978
...and become target number one
among all the girls in her class.
648
00:44:50,154 --> 00:44:51,712
She's trying not to be jealous...
649
00:44:51,889 --> 00:44:54,221
...but sometimes experiences
twinges of distress.
650
00:44:54,391 --> 00:44:58,088
She also says that Trent's presence
on campus came as a shock to her...
651
00:44:58,262 --> 00:45:02,631
...and that it is merely a coincidence
they transferred to the same school.
652
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,893
Yeah. Somehow I can't feature that.
653
00:45:05,069 --> 00:45:07,799
Trent has expressed interest in
mending the relationship...
654
00:45:07,971 --> 00:45:10,531
...and getting on like adults.
I think she's happy...
655
00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:14,144
...and looks forward to growth
in this rich intellectual environment.
656
00:45:14,311 --> 00:45:16,006
- I don't like the sound of this.
- No.
657
00:45:16,180 --> 00:45:18,410
And that roommate sounds like
a bad influence.
658
00:45:18,582 --> 00:45:20,880
She certainly sounds uninhibited.
659
00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:22,951
I wonder if she likes intelligent boys.
660
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,886
Trent Preston is gonna mindfuck her
into thinking she's too good for me.
661
00:45:27,057 --> 00:45:31,187
Then he's probably going to fuck her
in more literal ways.
662
00:45:32,596 --> 00:45:34,154
I've gotta get down there.
663
00:45:34,331 --> 00:45:36,458
I could accompany you
and meet this Taggarty.
664
00:45:36,633 --> 00:45:39,227
Okay.
How are we gonna get down there?
665
00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:42,566
- We could use my grandmother's car.
- Will she let us have it?
666
00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:44,731
She's hooked up to
life-support equipment.
667
00:45:44,908 --> 00:45:46,569
Permission is not a salient issue.
668
00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:48,109
Vijay, that's great.
669
00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:33,954
Excuse me. Do you guys know
Sheeni Saunders?
670
00:46:35,959 --> 00:46:37,688
Very helpful.
671
00:46:41,064 --> 00:46:43,794
Excuse me.
Do you guys know Sheeni Saunders?
672
00:46:44,168 --> 00:46:45,931
Are you fucking kidding me?
673
00:46:47,371 --> 00:46:48,998
- Do you see her?
- I'm afraid not.
674
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,501
Do you guys know Sheeni Saunders?
675
00:46:51,675 --> 00:46:54,041
Sheeni Saunders.
Do you speak English?
676
00:46:54,211 --> 00:46:55,769
Do you speak English?
677
00:46:55,946 --> 00:46:58,176
You don't speak English? Liar.
678
00:46:58,348 --> 00:46:59,815
Bullshit.
679
00:47:00,017 --> 00:47:01,041
Speak English to me.
680
00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:03,646
Nobody speaks English?
This is America.
681
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:06,016
- You fucking kidding me?
- Nick?
682
00:47:06,990 --> 00:47:08,321
Sheeni.
683
00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:10,824
Albert.
684
00:47:11,128 --> 00:47:13,062
- Hello.
- Hi.
685
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:23,098
I can't believe you came all this way.
And with Albert.
686
00:47:23,273 --> 00:47:25,571
I had to see you, Sheeni.
687
00:47:25,742 --> 00:47:27,334
I can't stop thinking about you.
688
00:47:27,511 --> 00:47:29,172
That's sweet.
689
00:47:30,180 --> 00:47:32,944
And Albert won't stop
talking about you.
690
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:36,517
Do you find your classes
stimulating?
691
00:47:37,187 --> 00:47:39,121
A few of them are all right.
692
00:47:39,323 --> 00:47:42,292
At the moment I'm doing a historical
analysis on the Ramayana.
693
00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:44,789
Ah, yes.
694
00:47:47,030 --> 00:47:50,488
Blow, oh windTo where my loved one is
695
00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:53,431
Touch him
696
00:47:53,737 --> 00:47:57,332
And come touch me soon
697
00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:04,772
You two boys shouldn't sleep in
your car tonight. It might not be safe.
698
00:48:04,948 --> 00:48:07,041
We could sneak you in
after lights out.
699
00:48:07,217 --> 00:48:09,412
- Sounds great.
- I'm in.
700
00:48:09,987 --> 00:48:15,152
Madame, I am suffering from
agonizing female troubles.
701
00:48:20,097 --> 00:48:21,564
There's your competition.
702
00:49:41,411 --> 00:49:44,574
You think that Trent fellow
would sleep on the floor?
703
00:49:56,226 --> 00:49:58,660
- Hey.
- Hey.
704
00:50:04,001 --> 00:50:05,730
I'm sorry, sweetie...
705
00:50:05,902 --> 00:50:08,302
...but not with other people
in the room.
706
00:50:14,311 --> 00:50:15,642
Okay.
707
00:50:21,418 --> 00:50:23,784
- Good night.
- Night.
708
00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,375
Who are you?
709
00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:59,579
I'm Sheeni's friend Nick.
I'm sorry to have disturbed you.
710
00:50:59,756 --> 00:51:02,281
It's okay. You don't have to go.
711
00:51:04,027 --> 00:51:07,656
So are you Sheeni's boyfriend
or something?
712
00:51:07,831 --> 00:51:09,492
Yeah.
713
00:51:10,100 --> 00:51:12,261
And you're spending the night?
714
00:51:12,436 --> 00:51:13,698
Where's Taggarty?
715
00:51:13,870 --> 00:51:16,805
Sleeping. A friend and I
are just camping out on the floor.
716
00:51:17,407 --> 00:51:20,103
I get it. A slumber party.
717
00:51:22,179 --> 00:51:23,976
I'm Bernice.
718
00:51:24,281 --> 00:51:26,749
Bernice Lynch. Not that you asked.
719
00:51:26,917 --> 00:51:29,818
Bernice Lynch,
that's a very pretty name.
720
00:51:30,554 --> 00:51:34,149
I think that my friend Trent Preston
might have mentioned you.
721
00:51:34,324 --> 00:51:38,784
Yeah, Bernice Lynch. But he said that
you were frumpy and unpresentable.
722
00:51:38,962 --> 00:51:41,988
Now that I've met you,
I can see that Trent is a lying bastard.
723
00:51:42,165 --> 00:51:45,794
I shouldn't be his friend if he goes
around calling you trashy-looking.
724
00:51:45,969 --> 00:51:47,459
What kind of person does that?
725
00:51:47,637 --> 00:51:50,105
But, you know,
he's been very sensitive and touchy...
726
00:51:50,273 --> 00:51:52,298
...ever since he started doing steroids.
727
00:51:52,476 --> 00:51:55,172
- Trent does steroids?
- He does a lot of steroids.
728
00:51:55,345 --> 00:51:58,109
He says it's to ensure that
he becomes the best windsurfer.
729
00:51:58,281 --> 00:52:01,273
He figures since he can't write poetry,
he has to plagiarize...
730
00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:04,386
You mean all of his poetry is stolen?
731
00:52:04,821 --> 00:52:08,621
Of course. It's all classic Bobby Frost.
Every word.
732
00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:11,693
Trent and Sheeni can go to hell.
733
00:52:38,054 --> 00:52:40,682
- Hey.
- Hi.
734
00:52:43,093 --> 00:52:45,789
Hey, it's a bit cold on the floor.
735
00:52:45,962 --> 00:52:47,452
Is it?
736
00:52:48,098 --> 00:52:51,659
Yeah. Do you think maybe I could
cuddle next to you?
737
00:52:54,704 --> 00:52:56,535
The whole night?
738
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:58,907
Yeah.
739
00:53:01,211 --> 00:53:03,509
Yeah, I guess that would be okay.
740
00:53:04,381 --> 00:53:06,815
Or we could do more than just cuddle.
741
00:53:08,618 --> 00:53:09,710
Nick.
742
00:53:09,886 --> 00:53:12,514
I love it when you say my name.
743
00:53:12,689 --> 00:53:14,589
Why don't you pull down
these blankets...
744
00:53:14,758 --> 00:53:16,851
...and show me
what you're hiding under there?
745
00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:19,188
Is that what you want me to do?
746
00:53:20,096 --> 00:53:23,896
- Say yes.
- That is exactly what I want you to do.
747
00:53:24,067 --> 00:53:27,002
And then I wanna
tickle your belly button...
748
00:53:27,170 --> 00:53:29,161
...from the inside.
749
00:53:30,373 --> 00:53:32,500
Nick, you're being so bad.
750
00:53:32,676 --> 00:53:36,544
Not half as bad as the nasty things
I wanna do right now with my tongue.
751
00:53:38,481 --> 00:53:40,381
I'm gonna wrap your legs
around my head...
752
00:53:40,617 --> 00:53:42,949
...and wear you like the crown
that you are.
753
00:53:44,087 --> 00:53:46,078
If that's okay with you.
754
00:53:53,296 --> 00:53:55,127
My God,
what's gotten into you tonight?
755
00:53:55,298 --> 00:53:57,596
I don't know, but let's go with it.
756
00:54:23,426 --> 00:54:24,950
Nick!
757
00:54:25,829 --> 00:54:27,319
Nick. You have to take Albert.
758
00:54:54,024 --> 00:54:57,391
God, we were so close. Fuck.
759
00:54:57,560 --> 00:54:59,551
How was it, Vijay?
760
00:54:59,729 --> 00:55:00,991
It was magnificent.
761
00:55:01,164 --> 00:55:02,961
I fear it could be terribly addicting.
762
00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:06,569
This night has ignited in me
a lust of disturbing insatiability.
763
00:55:06,736 --> 00:55:08,033
Yeah, well, congratulations.
764
00:55:08,204 --> 00:55:10,638
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
765
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:12,399
Fuck. Fuck.
766
00:55:13,910 --> 00:55:15,741
Fuck.
767
00:55:15,912 --> 00:55:18,210
Fuck. Fuck.
768
00:55:21,651 --> 00:55:23,209
Fuck.
769
00:55:27,357 --> 00:55:28,483
Hello?
770
00:55:28,658 --> 00:55:30,319
Mr. Ferguson, it's Nick.
771
00:55:30,493 --> 00:55:32,552
Oh, Nick boy. How are you, son?
772
00:55:32,729 --> 00:55:33,991
Not so good, Mr. Ferguson.
773
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:36,655
I'm attempting to smuggle
a young illegal immigrant...
774
00:55:36,833 --> 00:55:39,802
...who's fleeing political oppression
on the subcontinent...
775
00:55:39,969 --> 00:55:42,130
...but we've become stranded
in our attempts...
776
00:55:42,305 --> 00:55:45,468
...and now we face not being able
to get to the sanctuary at all.
777
00:55:45,642 --> 00:55:47,439
Oh, dear, the poor lad.
778
00:55:47,610 --> 00:55:51,046
Yeah, it's breaking my heart.
He's got the saddest look on his face.
779
00:55:53,950 --> 00:55:55,440
Those poor girls.
780
00:55:55,618 --> 00:55:58,985
They'll likely notify their parents,
perhaps even expel them.
781
00:56:00,523 --> 00:56:02,218
Expel them?
782
00:56:02,792 --> 00:56:04,419
Oh, my God, you're right.
783
00:56:04,594 --> 00:56:06,391
They'll be expelled.
784
00:56:07,230 --> 00:56:09,960
Sheeni will have to
come back to Ukiah.
785
00:56:10,433 --> 00:56:13,834
Bernice, you sweet angel
of the lavatory.
786
00:56:14,471 --> 00:56:16,200
Come on.
787
00:56:19,642 --> 00:56:20,973
Mr. Ferguson.
788
00:56:23,113 --> 00:56:24,603
Good heavens.
789
00:56:24,781 --> 00:56:27,614
You boys must be freezing.
790
00:56:28,451 --> 00:56:31,181
And this must be the little soldier.
791
00:56:35,358 --> 00:56:36,757
Welcome.
792
00:56:38,194 --> 00:56:39,957
What's happened to your clothes,
son?
793
00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:45,960
INS took them.
794
00:56:46,136 --> 00:56:47,501
Damn them.
795
00:56:47,670 --> 00:56:51,697
When I was arriving by the customs,
sir. It was so terrible.
796
00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:54,901
They told me I was even lucky
to keep my knickers.
797
00:56:56,513 --> 00:56:58,413
Well, that nightmare is over.
798
00:56:59,983 --> 00:57:03,111
And why don't you have
any clothes on, Nick?
799
00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:07,123
Solidarity.
800
00:57:10,860 --> 00:57:13,328
Thanks for getting us, Mr. Ferguson.
801
00:57:14,597 --> 00:57:16,588
So this safe house is in Ukiah?
802
00:57:16,766 --> 00:57:17,994
That's right.
803
00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:20,033
You're certain
they'll take care of him?
804
00:57:20,203 --> 00:57:23,229
Oh, yeah. They'll treat him
as if he were their own.
805
00:57:28,244 --> 00:57:32,078
After we dropped Vijay off, I askedMr. Ferguson to spend the night.
806
00:57:32,248 --> 00:57:34,341
It would give Dada chance to reciprocate...
807
00:57:34,517 --> 00:57:37,213
...for all the nights he spent onMr. Ferguson's couch...
808
00:57:37,387 --> 00:57:40,413
...before he and Momfinally tossed in the towel.
809
00:57:40,590 --> 00:57:44,026
Mr. Ferguson agreed not to tell Dadabout the refugee.
810
00:57:44,194 --> 00:57:47,322
He understands that sometimesyou have to lie for a greater cause.
811
00:57:47,497 --> 00:57:50,466
You know what, you are a tight-assed,
critical, sexist drunk.
812
00:57:50,633 --> 00:57:53,534
Hey, honey, it doesn't bother me
if you wanna sleep alone.
813
00:57:53,703 --> 00:57:56,797
Well, does it bother you
that you're a boring selfish lover?
814
00:57:59,576 --> 00:58:02,807
I ran into Mr. Ferguson downtown.
Is it okay if he spends the night?
815
00:58:02,979 --> 00:58:05,243
What the hell are you doing
in your underwear?
816
00:58:10,687 --> 00:58:12,314
Hi, Nick.
817
00:58:17,026 --> 00:58:18,459
Want a hit?
818
00:58:18,962 --> 00:58:20,862
Sorry, do I know you?
819
00:58:21,898 --> 00:58:25,163
I'm Paul. Sheeni's older brother.
820
00:58:26,603 --> 00:58:28,298
Come on in.
821
00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:50,554
- How'd you know it was me, Paul?
- We've met.
822
00:58:51,294 --> 00:58:52,852
No we haven't.
823
00:58:53,630 --> 00:58:54,961
In a previous life.
824
00:58:59,235 --> 00:59:00,998
Nice fire.
825
00:59:02,972 --> 00:59:04,963
Did Sheeni tell you that was me?
826
00:59:05,141 --> 00:59:06,870
She didn't have to.
827
00:59:07,477 --> 00:59:10,139
Why?
Was I an arsonist in a previous life?
828
00:59:10,313 --> 00:59:11,712
No...
829
00:59:11,881 --> 00:59:13,872
...but Sheeni was.
830
00:59:27,096 --> 00:59:28,791
That's very good.
831
00:59:29,832 --> 00:59:32,130
I spoke with Taggarty on the phone
this morning.
832
00:59:32,302 --> 00:59:35,135
She requested I send a wallet-sized
photograph for her wall.
833
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,699
- So did they get expelled?
- No.
834
00:59:37,874 --> 00:59:40,809
Taggarty was able to convince
the matron it was innocent.
835
00:59:40,977 --> 00:59:42,808
Innocent? Are you kidding me?
836
00:59:42,979 --> 00:59:46,244
I could have cut the sexual intercourse
in that room with a knife.
837
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:52,020
Francois feels that a mancan only take so much...
838
00:59:52,188 --> 00:59:54,349
...before his dignity demandshe rise up...
839
00:59:54,524 --> 00:59:57,186
...against an absurdand unjust universe.
840
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,954
I'm going to need a partner in crime.
841
01:00:00,463 --> 01:00:01,862
"Dear Bernice...
842
01:00:02,031 --> 01:00:04,397
...it was nice meeting youin the bathroom.
843
01:00:04,567 --> 01:00:06,501
I hope your stomach has settled.
844
01:00:06,669 --> 01:00:09,103
I know you informed the matronof our presence...
845
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:11,467
...but I want you to knowI hold no grudge.
846
01:00:11,641 --> 01:00:14,508
You were still upset from hearingall the horrible things...
847
01:00:14,677 --> 01:00:18,340
...Trent has been saying about youand probably weren't yourself.
848
01:00:18,514 --> 01:00:20,709
I think Trent needs to betaught a lesson...
849
01:00:20,883 --> 01:00:23,909
...for calling you a fat cowand an ugly whore.
850
01:00:24,087 --> 01:00:27,614
I suggest you take revenge bygetting Sheeni kicked out of school.
851
01:00:27,790 --> 01:00:31,157
Everyone knows it would crush Trentif she were sent away.
852
01:00:31,327 --> 01:00:34,296
How to get her kicked out of school,you may ask?
853
01:00:34,564 --> 01:00:37,727
I have included a number ofsleeping pills with this note.
854
01:00:37,900 --> 01:00:41,802
You must introduce one into herbreakfast beverage each morning.
855
01:00:41,971 --> 01:00:45,737
She may be intelligent and beautiful,but is not likely to pass her courses...
856
01:00:45,908 --> 01:00:48,570
...if she is falling asleep in class.
857
01:00:48,745 --> 01:00:51,441
Since meeting you,I realize my interest in Sheeni...
858
01:00:51,614 --> 01:00:54,174
...was merelyan adolescent infatuation.
859
01:00:54,350 --> 01:00:57,183
You seem like a much moregenuine person.
860
01:00:57,353 --> 01:00:59,947
Do you suppose there is any truthto the rumors...
861
01:01:00,123 --> 01:01:03,320
...that Trent lost his virginityto his first cousin?
862
01:01:03,493 --> 01:01:07,122
Perhaps you should ask aroundand see if anyone else heard that.
863
01:01:07,296 --> 01:01:10,697
Be strong, Bernice. Take courage.
864
01:01:10,867 --> 01:01:14,437
Affectionately yours, Nick Twisp."
865
01:01:24,247 --> 01:01:25,339
Hi, folks.
866
01:01:26,215 --> 01:01:27,239
Hi, Nick.
867
01:01:29,385 --> 01:01:31,717
I didn't realize
you two knew each other.
868
01:01:31,888 --> 01:01:34,755
We met the other day
and got to talking...
869
01:01:34,924 --> 01:01:36,858
...and realized we both know you.
870
01:01:37,026 --> 01:01:39,961
Isn't life funny?
Paul, don't you think?
871
01:01:40,930 --> 01:01:43,125
Only slightly.
872
01:01:43,299 --> 01:01:45,563
We saved you some mushrooms,
Nick.
873
01:01:45,735 --> 01:01:47,600
It's gonna change your life.
874
01:01:47,770 --> 01:01:50,500
Yeah, they're pretty powerful,
so only take two.
875
01:02:33,382 --> 01:02:35,043
Have fun.
876
01:04:03,172 --> 01:04:05,072
Lacey.
877
01:04:05,675 --> 01:04:07,506
What in fuck are you people doing?
878
01:04:08,277 --> 01:04:11,007
Nick, what the fuck is going on?
879
01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:14,274
Okay, George. Just calm down now.
880
01:04:14,450 --> 01:04:15,940
Who the...? What...?
881
01:04:16,118 --> 01:04:18,609
Calm down before the neighbors
call the sheriff.
882
01:04:21,257 --> 01:04:22,747
Okay, Lacey, come on.
883
01:04:26,729 --> 01:04:28,594
Okay. You can get up? Yeah.
884
01:04:28,764 --> 01:04:30,925
Get your hands off me,
you fuck.
885
01:04:31,100 --> 01:04:34,365
- Easy, George.
- Fuck.
886
01:04:35,104 --> 01:04:36,298
Fuck.
887
01:04:36,472 --> 01:04:38,565
I apologize.
888
01:04:45,348 --> 01:04:46,940
Bye, guys.
889
01:04:48,384 --> 01:04:50,352
Bye, Nicky.
890
01:04:50,953 --> 01:04:53,615
You know, Sheeni's coming home
for Thanksgiving dinner.
891
01:04:53,789 --> 01:04:55,620
You should be there.
892
01:04:55,791 --> 01:04:57,725
But, Paul, your parents despise me.
893
01:04:58,661 --> 01:05:01,528
Dinner's at 2. Hope you like turkey.
894
01:05:01,697 --> 01:05:02,959
I love it.
895
01:05:16,445 --> 01:05:18,276
- Hello?
- Nick.
896
01:05:18,447 --> 01:05:20,244
- Hi, Mom. What's up?
- How are you?
897
01:05:20,416 --> 01:05:21,610
I'm fine, Mom.
898
01:05:21,784 --> 01:05:23,843
Lance and I are through.
899
01:05:24,020 --> 01:05:25,851
He was being very rude to me.
900
01:05:26,022 --> 01:05:28,422
And at my age,
I don't have to stand for that.
901
01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:29,990
That's good to hear, Mom.
902
01:05:30,159 --> 01:05:32,525
Maybe you should
try and be single for a while.
903
01:05:32,695 --> 01:05:34,993
Romances don't seem to be
your calling in life.
904
01:05:35,765 --> 01:05:37,824
Listen, Nicky,
when Lance stormed out...
905
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,161
...he said he was through
covering for you.
906
01:05:40,336 --> 01:05:42,896
The Berkeley policeknow that you set that fire...
907
01:05:43,072 --> 01:05:44,869
...and Lance told themwhere you are.
908
01:05:45,975 --> 01:05:48,205
Nicky, they're coming to arrest you.
909
01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:53,749
Okay, Mom. Thanks for calling.
Happy Thanksgiving.
910
01:06:00,756 --> 01:06:04,089
You're still going over there?
We need to get out town.
911
01:06:04,260 --> 01:06:06,285
What about Sheeni?
912
01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:07,520
Think.
913
01:06:07,697 --> 01:06:10,689
Is this bitch worth going to jail for?
914
01:06:32,355 --> 01:06:33,447
- Oh, hi, Nick.
- Hi, Paul.
915
01:06:33,622 --> 01:06:35,180
Right on time. Come on in.
916
01:06:35,358 --> 01:06:37,258
I brought some maple bars
for dessert.
917
01:06:37,426 --> 01:06:39,018
- Fantastic.
- They're really good.
918
01:06:39,195 --> 01:06:41,493
- They smell good.
- Hello.
919
01:06:41,664 --> 01:06:44,633
- Happy Thanksgiving, Nicky.
- Oh, hey, Lacey.
920
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:46,131
I brought some maple bars.
921
01:06:46,302 --> 01:06:47,894
Oh, thank you. I'll set them out.
922
01:06:48,070 --> 01:06:51,597
Mr. And Mrs. Saunders,
you remember Nick, don't you?
923
01:06:54,744 --> 01:06:56,143
Hi.
924
01:06:59,582 --> 01:07:02,551
Paul served them
an appetizer earlier.
925
01:07:02,785 --> 01:07:04,810
Stuffed mushrooms.
926
01:07:11,961 --> 01:07:13,258
Hey.
927
01:07:14,530 --> 01:07:15,929
Nick.
928
01:07:16,098 --> 01:07:17,588
Sheeni.
929
01:07:18,701 --> 01:07:22,000
What's wrong? What's wrong?
930
01:07:22,171 --> 01:07:23,638
What?
931
01:07:25,374 --> 01:07:27,638
I was expelled.
932
01:07:29,045 --> 01:07:32,139
What? Why?
933
01:07:33,549 --> 01:07:35,744
For falling asleep in class.
934
01:07:35,918 --> 01:07:37,783
For my grades.
935
01:07:37,953 --> 01:07:42,049
I'm stuck back here with my parents
in this horrible trailer.
936
01:07:42,224 --> 01:07:45,523
My brother's lost his mind.
He's drugged everyone.
937
01:07:47,797 --> 01:07:50,732
- Let's get out of here.
- What?
938
01:07:51,934 --> 01:07:54,061
Let's run away together.
939
01:07:55,171 --> 01:07:58,766
The police are after me.
They know that I started the fire.
940
01:07:58,941 --> 01:08:02,342
But we could be outlaws together,
just like we planned.
941
01:08:05,681 --> 01:08:09,242
- I have to think.
- Sheeni. Dinner's ready.
942
01:08:15,691 --> 01:08:18,421
- Everything's delicious.
- Paul prepared the entire meal.
943
01:08:19,028 --> 01:08:23,658
He just loves all the traditional
Thanksgiving foods.
944
01:08:30,806 --> 01:08:34,298
Well, I hope it's the first of many
such occasions for myself.
945
01:08:38,247 --> 01:08:41,216
- I'll get it.
- Is someone here?
946
01:08:46,155 --> 01:08:47,952
- Trent.
- Happy Thanksgiving, sweetie.
947
01:08:48,124 --> 01:08:50,115
- What are you doing here?
- Can I come in?
948
01:08:50,292 --> 01:08:51,691
Of course.
949
01:08:53,629 --> 01:08:54,857
Hello, everyone.
950
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,961
Trent, this is Lacey, Paul's friend.
951
01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:03,264
Yes, we've met before
at my father's office.
952
01:09:03,439 --> 01:09:05,373
- Yes.
- You're looking wonderful, Lacey.
953
01:09:05,541 --> 01:09:07,532
Oh, thank you.
954
01:09:07,710 --> 01:09:09,109
- Happy Thanksgiving.
- You too.
955
01:09:09,278 --> 01:09:11,041
It's great to see you.
956
01:09:11,213 --> 01:09:12,874
And this is Nick.
957
01:09:14,817 --> 01:09:16,216
Hello, Nick.
958
01:09:16,385 --> 01:09:17,943
Hello, Trent.
959
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:19,553
Have a seat, Trent.
960
01:09:19,722 --> 01:09:21,917
I'm sorry, Sheeni, but I can't.
961
01:09:22,091 --> 01:09:24,025
In fact, I have a bit of bad news.
962
01:09:24,193 --> 01:09:25,353
What is it?
963
01:09:25,528 --> 01:09:29,760
I searched the room of Bernice Lynch
thoroughly from top to bottom.
964
01:09:30,699 --> 01:09:33,532
Did you obtain proper authorization
from school officials?
965
01:09:33,702 --> 01:09:36,603
No, Nick.
I acted on my own initiative.
966
01:09:36,772 --> 01:09:39,900
I was curious as to why
a girl as sweet as Bernice...
967
01:09:40,075 --> 01:09:42,407
...would color me
in such an unflattering light.
968
01:09:42,578 --> 01:09:45,012
In Bernice's closet, I found...
969
01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:47,046
...this letter.
970
01:09:50,619 --> 01:09:54,282
In the letter, the writer expresses
a strong affection for Bernice...
971
01:09:54,456 --> 01:09:57,516
...and instructs her to begin a program
of sedating Sheeni...
972
01:09:57,693 --> 01:10:00,787
...with drugs that he himself
supplied.
973
01:10:00,963 --> 01:10:04,091
Nicky, you didn't.
You could have killed me.
974
01:10:04,266 --> 01:10:06,598
- Oh, Nicky.
- Bad break, Nick.
975
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,694
- Who died?
- No one yet, Mrs. Saunders.
976
01:10:09,872 --> 01:10:12,636
- Arrest him.
- I can't arrest him.
977
01:10:12,808 --> 01:10:16,608
I have called the Santa Cruz police.
They're on their way here right now.
978
01:10:18,247 --> 01:10:20,408
Well, I'll be leaving.
979
01:10:21,083 --> 01:10:22,675
Please continue without me.
980
01:10:28,924 --> 01:10:30,585
Nick.
981
01:10:30,759 --> 01:10:32,590
I would advise you to remain here...
982
01:10:32,761 --> 01:10:36,026
...and face the consequences
of your actions like a man.
983
01:10:37,366 --> 01:10:40,699
Well, thank you
for that unsolicited counsel, Trent.
984
01:10:41,036 --> 01:10:43,061
And please do drop dead.
985
01:10:48,410 --> 01:10:49,843
Goodbye, Sheeni.
986
01:12:37,052 --> 01:12:40,510
I need your help. We need to hurry.
We need to get out of here, okay?
987
01:12:40,689 --> 01:12:43,590
- We need to leave.
- Nick, where the hell have you been?
988
01:12:43,759 --> 01:12:45,522
The cops were looking for you.
989
01:12:45,694 --> 01:12:47,958
They barged in,
found my illegal satellite dish...
990
01:12:48,130 --> 01:12:51,531
We need to go right now.
I need you to put me up in a motel.
991
01:12:51,700 --> 01:12:53,463
Are you fucking crazy?
992
01:12:53,635 --> 01:12:56,069
Do you expect me to let you
get away with all this?
993
01:12:56,238 --> 01:12:57,967
That's it. I'm calling the cops.
994
01:12:58,140 --> 01:13:00,631
Dad, you're gonna send
your only son to prison?
995
01:13:00,809 --> 01:13:04,245
Hey, I don't need a lecture
from a fucking arsonist.
996
01:13:04,413 --> 01:13:06,813
At least give me your car
so I can get out of here.
997
01:13:06,982 --> 01:13:10,315
If you think I'm gonna give you my car
you got another thing coming.
998
01:13:12,721 --> 01:13:13,949
Dad!
999
01:13:14,123 --> 01:13:16,455
You're not a little kid anymore.
1000
01:13:17,259 --> 01:13:19,250
You gotta face the music, Nick.
1001
01:13:19,428 --> 01:13:20,895
Dad.
1002
01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:33,273
Nick.
1003
01:13:36,245 --> 01:13:37,507
Open this door, Nick.
1004
01:13:37,679 --> 01:13:40,239
I'm warning you, don't you do this.
1005
01:13:41,850 --> 01:13:43,283
Nick.
1006
01:13:43,519 --> 01:13:46,488
Open this door. You open this...
1007
01:13:48,390 --> 01:13:49,516
Nick, get back here.
1008
01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:51,852
You stop this car right now,
I'm warning you.
1009
01:13:52,027 --> 01:13:54,996
You're in trouble!
1010
01:14:18,987 --> 01:14:21,114
We stopping to admire the scenery
or something?
1011
01:14:21,290 --> 01:14:24,225
- I don't want to leave without Sheeni.
- Cut the shit.
1012
01:14:24,393 --> 01:14:27,021
I can live as a woman.
I can change my name to Carlotta.
1013
01:14:27,196 --> 01:14:28,959
Why don't you start the fucking car?
1014
01:14:29,131 --> 01:14:32,828
I can't leave with her hating me.
I have to go back.
1015
01:14:33,001 --> 01:14:35,435
I have to tell her that everything I did
was for her.
1016
01:14:35,604 --> 01:14:37,504
Let me paint you
a little picture, Nick.
1017
01:14:37,673 --> 01:14:41,006
You go back, they bust you,
you go to jail.
1018
01:14:41,176 --> 01:14:43,667
Sheeni goes on with her life.
1019
01:14:43,846 --> 01:14:45,473
Fuck Sheeni.
1020
01:15:00,262 --> 01:15:01,320
All right.
1021
01:15:01,497 --> 01:15:04,125
I'm gonna help you
get back to your lady.
1022
01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:06,927
But you better get laid this time.
1023
01:15:07,102 --> 01:15:10,868
If you end up going to jail a virgin,
I won't be sticking around.
1024
01:15:11,039 --> 01:15:13,837
Now give me 25 cents, Carlotta.
1025
01:15:27,956 --> 01:15:31,084
- Officer Lance Westcott, please.
- One moment.
1026
01:15:32,794 --> 01:15:34,091
Officer Westcott.
1027
01:15:34,263 --> 01:15:35,821
Hey, asshole, it's me.
1028
01:15:35,998 --> 01:15:39,627
Nick. You little shit.You know you're going to jail, right?
1029
01:15:39,801 --> 01:15:41,928
I'm calling to make it easy for you.
1030
01:15:42,104 --> 01:15:44,470
Hazel Park, one hour.
Round up your friends.
1031
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:47,200
I'm turning myself in. Fuck you.
1032
01:15:48,844 --> 01:15:51,142
Holy shit, you've lost your mind.
1033
01:15:54,616 --> 01:15:55,878
Wait.
1034
01:18:07,249 --> 01:18:11,709
- patience is beginning to wear thinand they understand why.
1035
01:18:11,887 --> 01:18:12,911
Terrence?
1036
01:18:13,088 --> 01:18:15,682
The measure goes beforethe full state legislature...
1037
01:18:15,857 --> 01:18:17,620
...at the end of the current session.
1038
01:18:17,793 --> 01:18:19,124
Repeating our top story...
1039
01:18:19,294 --> 01:18:23,253
...a police source has identifiedNicholas Twisp as a suspect...
1040
01:18:23,432 --> 01:18:26,526
...in last September's massive firein downtown Berkeley.
1041
01:18:27,469 --> 01:18:31,303
We have an exclusive interview withone of Twisp's former classmates.
1042
01:18:31,473 --> 01:18:34,408
I just hope that societyisn't too severe in judging Nicholas.
1043
01:18:34,576 --> 01:18:39,479
So often my generation is portrayedas a juvenile and wasteful group.
1044
01:18:39,648 --> 01:18:41,206
He needs help.
1045
01:18:41,383 --> 01:18:43,783
And he's better offin the hands of the authorities.
1046
01:18:43,952 --> 01:18:46,284
Twisp is 5'9", 135 pounds...
1047
01:18:46,455 --> 01:18:49,185
...with brown eyes, dirty-blond hairand a pale complexion.
1048
01:18:49,357 --> 01:18:51,382
He was last seenin the vicinity of Ukiah.
1049
01:18:52,828 --> 01:18:54,159
Who's that?
1050
01:18:56,498 --> 01:18:59,899
Hello, Mrs. Saunders. I'm Carlotta,
Sheeni's friend from school.
1051
01:19:00,068 --> 01:19:01,626
Oh, hello there.
1052
01:19:01,803 --> 01:19:05,500
I've come to memorize church hymns
with Sheeni for this Sunday's services.
1053
01:19:05,674 --> 01:19:07,642
Sheeni's coming to church?
1054
01:19:07,809 --> 01:19:09,800
That's my understanding, yeah.
1055
01:19:09,978 --> 01:19:12,606
Oh, well, please do come in.
1056
01:19:12,781 --> 01:19:15,306
Thank you. Thank you.
1057
01:19:15,484 --> 01:19:16,508
Sheeni?
1058
01:19:17,519 --> 01:19:19,919
Your friend Carlotta's here.
1059
01:19:20,088 --> 01:19:21,146
Phil, this is Carlotta.
1060
01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:25,416
She says that Sheeni's
coming to church with her on Sunday.
1061
01:19:25,594 --> 01:19:27,255
Well, nice to meet you, young lady.
1062
01:19:27,429 --> 01:19:29,863
Nice to meet you, Mr. Saunders.
1063
01:19:31,466 --> 01:19:33,161
Hello, Sheeni.
1064
01:19:34,202 --> 01:19:36,102
Hello, Carlotta.
1065
01:19:38,173 --> 01:19:39,902
May I come up?
1066
01:19:47,682 --> 01:19:49,616
You got me expelled.
1067
01:19:49,785 --> 01:19:51,480
I'm sorry, Sheeni.
1068
01:19:51,653 --> 01:19:54,486
Do you realize what life is like
for me here?
1069
01:19:54,656 --> 01:19:56,351
Do you have any idea?
1070
01:19:56,525 --> 01:19:59,358
Sheeni, I've been alone
my whole life.
1071
01:19:59,561 --> 01:20:01,529
I do know what it's like.
1072
01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:06,991
I burned down Berkeley for you.
1073
01:20:07,836 --> 01:20:09,963
I destroyed both of my parents' cars.
1074
01:20:12,073 --> 01:20:15,941
I've lied and manipulated
and had you sedated.
1075
01:20:16,578 --> 01:20:18,375
I did all that so that...
1076
01:20:18,547 --> 01:20:20,981
...we wouldn't have to be
alone anymore.
1077
01:20:30,392 --> 01:20:32,417
You're him, aren't you?
1078
01:20:32,594 --> 01:20:33,856
I'm him?
1079
01:20:34,029 --> 01:20:36,020
You're my Francois.
1080
01:20:36,631 --> 01:20:39,361
You're the one I've been looking for.
1081
01:20:45,574 --> 01:20:46,836
Sheeni...
1082
01:20:47,008 --> 01:20:49,135
...I want what you want.
1083
01:20:49,311 --> 01:20:52,576
I wanna live all over the world
and have adventures.
1084
01:20:54,950 --> 01:20:56,781
But I'm not Francois.
1085
01:20:58,620 --> 01:21:02,112
I'm the guy who saw you
and fell in love with you...
1086
01:21:02,290 --> 01:21:04,520
...and would do anything for you.
1087
01:21:05,393 --> 01:21:07,224
That's who I am.
1088
01:21:31,353 --> 01:21:32,843
I don't wanna give you this...
1089
01:21:33,021 --> 01:21:35,751
...but I don't have anything else
to discard.
1090
01:21:41,263 --> 01:21:43,424
Thank you very much
and here's your change.
1091
01:21:43,598 --> 01:21:46,999
Always shop at...
1092
01:22:29,244 --> 01:22:33,374
It's a wonder that humankind has
constructed any kind of civilization...
1093
01:22:33,548 --> 01:22:36,642
...with this monumental distraction
at hand.
1094
01:22:43,191 --> 01:22:44,715
Trent.
1095
01:22:44,893 --> 01:22:47,794
- What are you doing here?
- I brought the police.
1096
01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:51,797
I wasn't fooled for one second
when I saw that ugly girl walking up.
1097
01:22:51,967 --> 01:22:55,130
- You were lurking outside my house?
- Of course.
1098
01:22:55,303 --> 01:22:56,998
Protecting you.
1099
01:22:57,605 --> 01:22:59,937
Trent, you're a very nice person...
1100
01:23:00,108 --> 01:23:02,736
...but I just don't have
those feelings for you.
1101
01:23:04,079 --> 01:23:06,673
- You're going to jail.
- I don't wanna hurt you.
1102
01:23:07,115 --> 01:23:10,915
I'll only ask once that you and your
adorable sweater step away from the...
1103
01:23:15,724 --> 01:23:17,191
- Son of a bitch.
- Let go of me.
1104
01:23:17,359 --> 01:23:20,351
- Come here, you little shit.
- Get off, you son of a bitch.
1105
01:23:20,528 --> 01:23:22,826
- Get off of me.
- Son of a bitch.
1106
01:23:22,998 --> 01:23:25,296
This is the arsonist.
1107
01:23:25,467 --> 01:23:27,560
All right.
1108
01:23:28,169 --> 01:23:30,433
Just relax.
1109
01:23:30,605 --> 01:23:32,573
It's over.
1110
01:23:32,741 --> 01:23:35,039
I might be away for a long time,
darling.
1111
01:23:35,210 --> 01:23:37,678
You're 16.
You're going to juvenile detention.
1112
01:23:37,846 --> 01:23:40,838
- You'll be out in three months.
- So you'll wait for me?
1113
01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:45,479
Where the hell else am I gonna go?
1114
01:24:12,781 --> 01:24:15,409
Well, I'm headed for a stintin juvenile detention.
1115
01:24:15,583 --> 01:24:20,145
I can at least feel comforted bythe fact that I'm not going in a virgin.
1116
01:24:20,321 --> 01:24:21,481
And at lunchtime...
1117
01:24:21,656 --> 01:24:25,285
...when hardened offenders gatherto swap tales of teenage rebellion...
1118
01:24:25,460 --> 01:24:27,792
...I bet they'll find mine hard to top.
1119
01:24:33,435 --> 01:24:35,335
Sheeni says she'll wait for me...
1120
01:24:35,503 --> 01:24:38,802
...and that when I'm released,we'll finally be together and free.
1121
01:24:38,973 --> 01:24:41,271
And I believe her.
1122
01:24:44,145 --> 01:24:47,603
I can feel in my heart that Sheeniis in love with me.
1123
01:24:47,782 --> 01:24:50,717
Not with some fantasy loverin a French romantic novel...
1124
01:24:50,885 --> 01:24:52,216
...but with me...
1125
01:24:52,387 --> 01:24:53,820
...Nick Twisp.
1126
01:24:54,856 --> 01:24:56,346
It's funny.
1127
01:24:56,524 --> 01:24:57,923
After all that...
1128
01:24:58,626 --> 01:25:00,958
...Nick Twisp was enough.
89369
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