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1
00:00:04,237 --> 00:00:05,705
Hi.
2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:09,275
The question I get asked,
more than any other by far is,
3
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:12,645
what's it like to
work with So-and-So.
4
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,615
The answers are
often interchangeable
general compliments
5
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,484
that give little,
if any information
6
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:20,086
about the actual experience.
7
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:24,591
What is it really like to
work with Sylvester Stallone?
8
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,326
Arnold Schwarzenegger?
9
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,228
Steven Segal?
10
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:32,298
What is it like
to work with JCVD?
11
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:36,469
The title for this movie
could have been WILT WW.
12
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:41,340
What's it like to work with...
13
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:43,476
This movie isn't
going to tell you.
14
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,746
It's going to show you my
impression of what it's like
15
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,382
to be on the set with So-and-So.
16
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,618
We've combined traits of
these action stars and
17
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:55,355
a few others into one
fictional character.
18
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:58,091
The great Vardell Duseldorfer.
19
00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:01,561
His friends simply call him VD.
20
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,464
Much of what you're about to
see, I actually witnessed.
21
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:07,100
And as they say on TV, the
names have been changed
22
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,803
so the guilty won't sue you.
23
00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:15,542
And so, to my aforementioned
muses, thank you.
24
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:23,048
Now, let's find out what it's
like to work with So-and-So.
25
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,388
Welcome to
Excess Hollywood!
26
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,957
�Excess Hollywood
27
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,926
Lots of dirt, no cleanup!
28
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,563
I'm your host, Tara Grey.
29
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:49,569
On the comeback trail,
the great Vardell Duseldorfer.
30
00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:56,342
His adoring fans who often
31
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,646
contract his
uberlong name to VD,
32
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,481
some things defy explanation.
33
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,717
But one thing is for sure,
his fans do love him.
34
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,985
I love VD.
35
00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:10,189
I've been
a fan of VD for 17 years.
36
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,925
Keep it
comin', stay off the hook,
37
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:14,460
stay hot with the people,
this how we do it!
38
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:17,630
To
have VD is to love VD.
39
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:20,200
I've been a VD fan for 52 years.
40
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,670
You can say what
you want about Vardell,
41
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,739
but he got where he is
because of one reason.
42
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,408
He's the great VD.
43
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,910
My momma
told me that VD was a disease.
44
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:35,582
Duseldorfer,
number, number one!
45
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,686
The embarrassed
ubernatorial has wandered
46
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,988
once again in front of a camera.
47
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:45,725
Uzbekistan apparently
wishes to play host to VD,
48
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,894
and welcomes him with open arms,
49
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,030
if not a nice, warm petri dish.
50
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,869
What might
the Uzbekis expect?
51
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,638
Well, let's hear from some stars
52
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,907
who've had some
experience with VD.
53
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,642
Mr. Kove?
54
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,477
I don't kiss and tell.
55
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:07,480
Especially when it involves
something as personal as VD.
56
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,317
I know, how
about a Herculean quote
57
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:13,653
from Mr. Kevin Sorbo himself.
58
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:19,115
Working and Duseldorfer.
59
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:23,028
It's kind of an oxymoron.
60
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,765
Or a moron disguised as an ox.
61
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,467
No, don't, don't use that one.
62
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:28,635
I got a better one.
63
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,970
Working with Duseldorfer.
64
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:34,040
It was sort of like
juggling water.
65
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,975
You never really get
the balls in the air
66
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:39,479
and you have to
clean up afterwards.
67
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,314
Oh, nice shot, Kevin.
68
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,450
Who would
have thought that
69
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,986
the former bodybuilder's
small...
70
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:51,891
Time in office would be
punctuated a maid escapade.
71
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,294
I was just trying to show her
72
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:58,398
how to work off the large fold
of fat the tummy bellyflap.
73
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,800
And it just slipped in!
74
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:04,437
Yeah it was accident!
75
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,774
And poof, it made a baby!
76
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,445
Fuck you, Tara.
77
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,447
We can support
his support of moms,
78
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,316
and public breastfeeding.
79
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:17,784
More public breastfeeding!
80
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:20,053
More public breastfeeding!
81
00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:23,723
But what about his
bill to get goldfish,
82
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:27,493
yes, uh-huh, goldfish
in every home?
83
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,429
Not the goldfish!
84
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,897
Goldfish propagation
85
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:35,001
reduces the greenhouse gases
and helps the children relax!
86
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,405
You made
goldfish dirty.
87
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:41,140
The movie that
made him go into politics
88
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:44,544
in the first place was
that Fascist Time Machine
89
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,613
wreck that detonated more
than his fragile career.
90
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,718
That was
the director's fault!
91
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:55,154
So can dysfunction
be dysfunctional?
92
00:05:55,155 --> 00:06:00,159
Has the expendable actor,
yes, expendable actor
93
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,662
passed his expiration date?
94
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,497
It's not looking
good for our hero.
95
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,466
Possible movie trailer voice.
96
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,034
Thank you.
97
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:12,704
Will our hero make it out alive?
98
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:19,412
Oooo, you think it's
easy to make a movie?
99
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,914
You sit there in
your thong and your
100
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,584
air conditioner
and you judge me!
101
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,519
I'd like to see you
crawl through mud.
102
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:30,730
Sweat, work 20 hours a day.
103
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,793
I tell you, Hard Time
on Mars will make more
104
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,895
money than you can count to!
105
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,630
I show you!
106
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,674
I show you!!!
107
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:49,091
I show you.
108
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:57,866
I did not retire,
I got extension.
109
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:57,901
Old, young, old, young.
110
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,486
Retired.
111
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,688
Not retired.
112
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:18,998
You!
113
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,207
Will direct.
114
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,505
Hmm.
115
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,807
I will direct.
116
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:31,226
Hmm.
117
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,113
�Excess Hollywood
118
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:37,183
Can our favorite
rehabinator rekindle
119
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,752
his past and extend his career?
120
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:42,088
Will he "be back?"
121
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:45,658
Will Hard Time on Mars
be the spark VD needs?
122
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:48,194
Or just hard time?
123
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,531
Should we wish the
Uzbekistanis luck?
124
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,565
Or send them penicillin?
125
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,734
Only time will tell.
126
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:03,609
VD
10 yards and closing.
127
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,977
Quiet on the set!
128
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:09,015
our director
Vardell Dusel-dorfer
129
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,216
has come to join us.
130
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,689
Thank you!
131
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,258
Thank you!
132
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,585
Action!
133
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,617
Nicely done, thank you.
134
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:48,328
Thank you very much.
135
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:53,859
VD?
136
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,795
What?
137
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,087
What're you doin' sir?
138
00:09:58,731 --> 00:09:59,966
We need more rock.
139
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:00,866
What?
140
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,703
We need more rock.
141
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:04,337
Where?
142
00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:06,305
There.
143
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,907
VD, you know, we have
144
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,710
set decorators that do that.
145
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,778
I like set decorating.
146
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,180
Yes, sir, so
what about the fight?
147
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:18,116
Uh, what about it?
148
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,318
Can we lock it?
149
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,020
Lock?
150
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:23,122
Lock means that we're
not gonna change it.
151
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,190
Can we lock it?
152
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:26,292
We're not
going to change it?
153
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,919
I don't know, are we?
154
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:31,864
I don't know.
155
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:35,909
I don't either.
156
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,007
Why did you let him direct?
157
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,808
He wouldn't
do the film otherwise.
158
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,977
This is nice.
159
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,437
This is fun!
160
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:51,450
Get him to
talk about his dick.
161
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,854
It scares him I think,
it makes him insecure.
162
00:10:54,855 --> 00:11:00,759
Maybe he'll cover by heaving
and getting back to work.
163
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,327
Dick.
164
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,128
Dick.
165
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,362
Dick.
166
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,239
Dick, yes.
167
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,041
Oh, wow my dick hurts.
168
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,443
Really?
169
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,378
You want me to rub it for you?
170
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,313
Maybe later,
171
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:24,815
uh, maybe after the fight scene?
172
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,986
Yes!
173
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:30,790
I'm uh, thinkin' about it.
174
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,059
Wow.
175
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,294
So, VD, what about
176
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,429
the fight, can we lock it?
177
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:42,933
I don't know.
178
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:48,131
Maybe you should
teach me part of it.
179
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,375
The first part?
180
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,043
Yeah!
181
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,378
Okay.
182
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,446
Mark!
183
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:55,147
Let's get that fight going on.
184
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,949
Yeah, where's
my saber ha ha!
185
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:04,090
Freeze.
186
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,058
Sir Jeffrey, would you
mind if I take over?
187
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,760
Yeah, actually
I would enjoy that.
188
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:09,228
Great, we'll call
you when you're up.
189
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,030
I'll be
working on my lines.
190
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:14,233
I need you
to use and trust
191
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,335
the length of your sword.
192
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,838
Use and trust the
length of my sword.
193
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,306
Yes.
194
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,041
It's kind of like the force.
195
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,744
Yeah, the force.
196
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,378
Think about keeping your
hand in your pocket.
197
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,047
Okay, in my pocket.
198
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,348
Yes.
199
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:32,284
Okay, I can do that.
200
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:35,253
I can handle that.
201
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,889
I think we need the girl.
202
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,324
What?
203
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:39,525
Yeah, the girl.
204
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,793
No, she's knocked out.
205
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,394
Yeah, but she can wake up.
206
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,864
No, she's not
supposed to wake up yet, VD.
207
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:50,436
No, she wake up, but
she want to come to my aid.
208
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,472
No.
209
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,874
and knocks herself out!
210
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,008
- No.
- It would be very funny!
211
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:59,778
VD, we're
running out of time.
212
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,213
Get me Louie.
213
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,448
Sir...
214
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,740
VD...
215
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,018
Page Louie.
216
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:09,221
I would like
the girl, please.
217
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,323
VD?
218
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,192
I want the girl.
219
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,794
Get me Maria.
220
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,963
VD, your chef, Louie.
221
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:22,201
Louie, what were those
strips of things we had?
222
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,068
When?
223
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:23,803
Last week.
224
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:24,570
What day?
225
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:25,471
Tuesday.
226
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,106
That was the chicken.
227
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,274
No, it was not the chicken.
228
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,475
Maybe it wasn't Tuesday?
229
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,910
Maybe.
230
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,812
Wednesday?
231
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,913
I don't know, it
was the strips of things
232
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,514
with maybe the light pesto.
233
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:38,851
No, the pesto was
on the chicken on Tuesday.
234
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,920
Calamari!
235
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,322
Yes, calamari!
236
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,490
But that was Thursday.
237
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,075
With a lemon herb
and a sesame oil.
238
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,195
Oh, it was Thursday.
239
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,129
Yes, Thursday.
240
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,430
Oh.
241
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:55,568
Well I will have two strips
of calamari al dente.
242
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:58,136
Yes, sir.
243
00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:01,373
VD, Maria.
244
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,247
Oh, Maria.
245
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,248
How are you?
246
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,916
Good, how are you?
247
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,985
I'm very good now
that you are here.
248
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,187
We have decided to add
you into the fight.
249
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,922
Do I get to punch you?
250
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,924
Uh...no.
251
00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:21,227
Kick you?
252
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,061
No.
253
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,395
Oh.
254
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:26,265
But you do get to
slap me in the face
255
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,601
with your fair and ample bosom.
256
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:31,871
Oh...okay.
257
00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:55,234
VD, you okay?
258
00:14:55,394 --> 00:15:00,165
Umm...
259
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,567
What happened?
260
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:04,503
Sometimes I see things.
261
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,038
What did you see?
262
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:09,908
It was large and warm,
and it felt really good.
263
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,243
So, you're okay.
264
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,112
Yeah!
265
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,546
Okay.
266
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,248
Okay.
267
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,350
You know we have to do
the fight sometime today!
268
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,487
Yes?
269
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,721
Why don't you show
us the second part
270
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,690
of the fight Mr. Choreographer?
271
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:27,192
You
will never get me.
272
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,161
The crystals are mine.
273
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,095
You'll never get me!
274
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,697
The crystals are mine!
275
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:32,631
Hmm hmm!
276
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,099
You'll never get me ha ha!
277
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,725
Oh, God.
278
00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:48,080
A word, if I may.
279
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,249
Oh, Sir
Jeffrey, of course.
280
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,750
Let me know what
I can do for you.
281
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:55,721
You will never
get me, the crystals are mine.
282
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:59,458
Does the previous sentence have
a ring of familiarity to it?
283
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,593
Sort of.
284
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,963
Shall we
call it by its real name?
285
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,097
What?
286
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,131
Cliche.
287
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,434
Do you want me saying cliches?
288
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:10,569
No.
289
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,271
What exactly
was it about this script
290
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,506
that made you want
to make this movie?
291
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:18,010
Why don't you re-title the
film and call it, The Cliche?
292
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:20,212
Then it can be a comedy
and I can laugh about it.
293
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,613
What do you want to say?
294
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,416
I want the
words to not be plagarized.
295
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,752
I want them to have something
to say that vaguely resembles
296
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:29,722
my character, who is fucking
religious by the way.
297
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:33,125
"The crystals are mine,"
what the fuck is that?
298
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,626
What did you pay
for this script?
299
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,462
One hundred.
300
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:42,967
Hmmmm, a
100,000 dollar cliche.
301
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,240
VD!
302
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,275
You may want to stand clear.
303
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:51,577
Jesus!
304
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,112
Wafting!
305
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,480
In his pants
right now, there is more
306
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:58,250
original color and content
than in your script.
307
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:00,753
Whew, stay!
308
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:03,754
Stay.
309
00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:06,882
Wow.
310
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:10,162
Maria?
311
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:14,266
Did you see the size
of that guy's bulge?
312
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,336
European men put it pointed
up to make it look bigger.
313
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:20,105
American men put it
down to make it look bigger.
314
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:22,856
No, they don't,
it looks bigger up!
315
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:26,612
No, American
men point it down
316
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,447
to make it look bigger.
317
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,782
No, it looks bigger up.
318
00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:31,617
Down.
319
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:32,785
Up.
320
00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:33,685
Down.
321
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:34,586
- Up.
- Down!
322
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,621
- Up.
- Down!
323
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,322
- Up.
- Down!
324
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,590
Stop talking about dick.
325
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,758
Are you the
only one who's allowed
326
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,194
to talk about it, Mr. Director?
327
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,529
Well maybe I am!
328
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:46,364
VD, I have the calamari!
329
00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:50,269
It looks fantastic!
330
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:57,409
Mmmm-hmmm
331
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:01,213
It is not as good as last week!
332
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:04,683
Oh no, uh, VD,
sir, uh, umm...
333
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,619
Louie...
334
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,288
Uh, uh, Louie?
335
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:12,558
V...Louie?
336
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,295
10 minutes,
we are taking break.
337
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:19,298
Why don't we just make
a movie about break?
338
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:23,135
At least
it wouldn't be a cliche.
339
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:26,138
You should have budgeted
for some star wranglers.
340
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,606
They have those?
341
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,774
Oh, yes.
342
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:32,411
Complete with ropes
and cattle prods.
343
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:36,114
Do you
have their number?
344
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,127
There, yeah.
345
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,300
Yo.
346
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,849
Mmmm.
347
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:08,679
Aaahh!
348
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,383
I could not do
this without you guys.
349
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,552
I love you.
350
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,953
You guys always be there for me!
351
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:19,748
I promise, I will
always be there for you.
352
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:24,053
What's your name?
353
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:27,799
Okay, we start today with
a prayer and some meditation.
354
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,568
A little prayer.
355
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,736
5 minutes.
356
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:31,603
Quiet.
357
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:33,972
HEY!!!!!
358
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,275
TURN OFF THE CELL
PHONES AND THE WALKIES!
359
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,277
Turn off the cell
phones and the walkies!
360
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:43,363
AND THE CELL
PHONES AND THE WALKIES!
361
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:46,159
JESUS!
362
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:52,357
What is this
meditation costing me?
363
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,443
Five, ten thousand?
364
00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:00,766
Okay, we go to work.
365
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:03,902
Yes, maybe now we
can make some movie!
366
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,470
Lay down, lay down, lay down.
367
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:06,471
Quickly.
368
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:07,472
Okay.
369
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,575
Oh, is that beautiful?
370
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,410
Is that so nice?
371
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,980
Okay, so, you need to wake up,
you're asleep, you're asleep.
372
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:15,747
Sleep.
373
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,382
You wake up.
374
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,985
Okay, now, you got to
g--, we need something
375
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,687
for her to hit me with.
376
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:25,689
How 'bout, a...
377
00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:39,371
Rubber chicken.
378
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:40,939
Yeah?
379
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,407
Rubber chicken?
380
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,477
That would be funny!
381
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:48,480
Or better, you know, there's
a lot of rubber chickens.
382
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,249
What about...
383
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,717
I think this is it.
384
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:52,818
Turkey neck!
385
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:53,752
Yeah?
386
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,287
Whup, turkey neck!
387
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:56,288
Huuuh!
388
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,489
Yeah what do you think?
389
00:20:57,490 --> 00:21:00,057
Props!
390
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:01,927
Do you have a turkey neck?
391
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,962
I've got
this lizard thing.
392
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,497
It is a lizard.
393
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:06,498
Yeah.
394
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,000
Does your lizard speak?
395
00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:09,968
Not in my experience.
396
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,470
On Mars, a rubber lizard.
397
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:14,606
This is
a big beef thing.
398
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,707
Maybe you could try that.
399
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:16,808
Does it hurt?
400
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,310
Well, you try.
401
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:19,711
Thanks.
402
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:21,413
Hahahaha!
403
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:22,314
Go ahead.
404
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:22,981
You like?
405
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:23,882
Yeah, that's good!
406
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,350
That doesn't hurt at all.
407
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:26,518
Yeah, hey come here!
408
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,018
Is this good?
409
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,521
Yeah!
410
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:30,889
What else do you have?
411
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:31,823
A wooden leg?
412
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,325
A peg leg?
413
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:34,092
Yeah, it actually
belonged to my uncle.
414
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:34,660
I don't know if it will...
415
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:35,394
Ow!
416
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:36,061
Jeez.
417
00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:37,329
It doesn't work.
418
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:38,297
No, that's
not gonna work.
419
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:38,930
Step back here for a second.
420
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,033
Some crabs?
421
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:43,635
That is a space crab!
422
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,070
Those are
hard to get rid of.
423
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:46,605
Yeah?
424
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:47,639
Yeah.
425
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,473
Oh.
426
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:52,443
What, umm...
427
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,313
A little aluminum missile.
428
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:56,448
A little
aluminum missile.
429
00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:58,350
An itty bitty
little aluminum missile.
430
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:00,485
A little bitty
tiny aluminum missile.
431
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:01,687
What do you think?
432
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:02,654
It's funny.
433
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,456
Hit me on the head with it.
434
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:06,658
Hey, uhh...
435
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,663
Man, Mark, you have
a very big package.
436
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,131
What is that, kielbasa?
437
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:14,966
Are we fighting,
or talking dick?
438
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:18,337
I guess I do talk
about dick a lot.
439
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:19,805
Can we kiss and make up?
440
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,707
I would like that.
441
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,443
Did she say lick,
she would lick that?
442
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:25,344
Like.
443
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:26,844
I would lick that, too.
444
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:38,280
I lick it.
445
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,462
Alright everybody,
that's five minutes.
446
00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:44,863
Make it six!
447
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,323
Okay, make it six.
448
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:51,870
Maria!
449
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:56,107
Something's happening!
450
00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,989
Cradle the balls,
work the shaft.
451
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,959
Cradle the
balls, work the shaft.
452
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,628
Mmmm cradle, more cradle.
453
00:23:16,629 --> 00:23:17,729
- I
- just had an inspiration
454
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,164
for a new crew T-shirt.
455
00:23:19,165 --> 00:23:20,899
Sure.
456
00:23:31,109 --> 00:23:35,238
It's been about
five minutes, baby.
457
00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,085
Are you okay?
458
00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:43,422
What do stupid
doctors know, anyway?
459
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:46,658
Do you think they could wait
maybe five more minutes?
460
00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:49,194
I don't want them to
think I went too quickly.
461
00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:52,497
And maybe you could mess
your hair up a little?
462
00:23:52,498 --> 00:23:54,633
Don't worry, we'll
have fun on the set.
463
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:58,218
I promise.
464
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,176
Two
pools, 20 dollars each.
465
00:24:04,177 --> 00:24:05,844
One, we get a shot
of anything today,
466
00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:07,512
Two we don't get a shot all day.
467
00:24:07,513 --> 00:24:10,015
That is whack.
468
00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:11,216
I'm in.
469
00:24:11,217 --> 00:24:13,718
No shot.
470
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,620
Sir Jeffrey would like
to speak with his director,
471
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:16,822
do you have a minute for him?
472
00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:18,557
Oh, Sir Jeffrey, of course.
473
00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:19,858
This way, sir.
474
00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:23,094
Of course for Sir
Jeffrey, I always have time.
475
00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:26,765
VD,
structurally, they're
476
00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:28,533
doing a rather strange thing.
477
00:24:28,534 --> 00:24:32,471
They're having a sub-villain
killed after the main villain.
478
00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:35,006
A sub-villain.
479
00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:37,509
I'm a bad guy on a submarine.
480
00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:40,212
No, no we don't
have a submarine in the movie.
481
00:24:40,213 --> 00:24:41,746
We have rocket ships.
482
00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:43,081
Yes!
483
00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:44,916
My character
is a main villain, so
484
00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:47,152
anyone who would work
for a main villain
485
00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:50,237
would be a sub-villain.
486
00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:53,825
A smaller bad guy?
487
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:54,993
Exactly!
488
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:56,628
So, why would you
kill a little bad guy
489
00:24:56,629 --> 00:24:59,564
after you've just killed
the biggest bad guy?
490
00:24:59,565 --> 00:25:04,610
Because, he's a bad
guy and he has to die.
491
00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,939
Yes, but um,
killing of the big villain,
492
00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:09,975
that's the climax of the movie.
493
00:25:09,976 --> 00:25:12,177
Climax, like, orgasm.
494
00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:13,678
Exactly, right!
495
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:15,280
Yes, so after the orgasm,
do you have foreplay?
496
00:25:15,281 --> 00:25:17,582
No.
497
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:20,051
I just, take a nap.
498
00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:20,986
Right.
499
00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:22,187
Because the movie's over.
500
00:25:22,188 --> 00:25:24,089
Right, I never
watch the credits.
501
00:25:24,090 --> 00:25:25,991
So, why would
you kill a little bad guy
502
00:25:25,992 --> 00:25:28,627
after you've just
killed the big bad guy?
503
00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:31,029
Because he is a bad guy.
504
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:34,065
Yes, but
you see, umm, killing
505
00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:37,035
of the little bad guys is
the foreplay that leads up
506
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:40,572
to killing of the big bad
guy, which is the climax.
507
00:25:40,573 --> 00:25:43,174
I don't understand.
508
00:25:43,175 --> 00:25:45,343
Okay, umm...
509
00:25:45,344 --> 00:25:49,180
Action-adventure movies are
really like romance movies.
510
00:25:49,181 --> 00:25:52,284
The romantic hero identifies
the beautiful girl,
511
00:25:52,285 --> 00:25:56,021
chases after her, romances
her, finally gets to have her.
512
00:25:56,022 --> 00:25:57,355
...Climax!
513
00:25:57,356 --> 00:26:01,092
Action-adventure hero,
identifies the bad guy,
514
00:26:01,093 --> 00:26:04,229
chases after him after
some close encounters ,
515
00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:06,264
finally the bad guy's
caught and killed, climax!
516
00:26:06,265 --> 00:26:09,167
So you see it's, it's
almost like a love story.
517
00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:12,037
But, I don't
love the villain.
518
00:26:12,038 --> 00:26:13,605
Well no, of
course, but , but you know,
519
00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:14,706
you still wanna
fuck him.
520
00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:15,907
I do?
521
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,909
Yes.
522
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:20,579
Where?
523
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:22,080
In the butt?
524
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:24,382
No!
525
00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:26,017
Well then they...
526
00:26:26,018 --> 00:26:28,153
Or they...
527
00:26:28,154 --> 00:26:31,256
69?
528
00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:33,024
No,
it was a metaphor!
529
00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:34,659
A metaphor.
530
00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:36,194
You
don't know metaphor?
531
00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:38,396
Hmm, comes before meta-five.
532
00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,031
It
doesn't come at all.
533
00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:41,666
It doesn't?
534
00:26:41,667 --> 00:26:42,867
No.
535
00:26:42,868 --> 00:26:46,071
So Jeffrey, could
you explain please,
536
00:26:46,072 --> 00:26:49,140
but with the smaller words.
537
00:26:49,141 --> 00:26:52,978
Look, as the
script is now, it's as though
538
00:26:52,979 --> 00:26:55,380
you get to fuck the beautiful
girl that you'be been
539
00:26:55,381 --> 00:26:57,616
chasing after the whole
movie, then you climb off her,
540
00:26:57,617 --> 00:26:59,751
go into the next room,
and fuck her ugly sister!
541
00:26:59,752 --> 00:27:01,186
Does that make any sense?
542
00:27:01,187 --> 00:27:02,320
Yes!
543
00:27:02,321 --> 00:27:03,822
Why?
544
00:27:03,823 --> 00:27:07,759
Because, if you can
fuck the sister, you should.
545
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:08,994
But, she's ugly.
546
00:27:08,995 --> 00:27:13,731
It's not the face you fuck.
547
00:27:13,732 --> 00:27:16,735
Do you know the
expression pearls before swine?
548
00:27:16,736 --> 00:27:18,436
Yes.
549
00:27:18,437 --> 00:27:20,405
Do you
know what it means?
550
00:27:20,406 --> 00:27:23,865
Yeah.
551
00:27:26,778 --> 00:27:28,413
Don't feed pigs pearls
because they could
552
00:27:28,414 --> 00:27:32,040
choke on them and die.
553
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:39,357
Exactly.
554
00:27:39,358 --> 00:27:40,792
Right.
555
00:27:40,793 --> 00:27:42,260
Call it.
556
00:27:44,195 --> 00:27:45,697
Yes?
557
00:27:45,698 --> 00:27:46,865
VD, the crew wants to
present you with a cake.
558
00:27:46,866 --> 00:27:48,099
They do?
559
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:49,734
For our director.
560
00:27:49,735 --> 00:27:52,337
Oh, hey cake for everybody!
561
00:27:52,338 --> 00:27:54,039
ha ha!
562
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,873
Cake cake cake cake I like cake.
563
00:28:02,248 --> 00:28:03,848
Congratulations!
564
00:28:03,849 --> 00:28:10,689
I don't know what to say,
I'm, I'm really very moved.
565
00:28:17,729 --> 00:28:20,198
I know that having
a crew like you guys
566
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,867
makes my job all the
much easier, you guys
567
00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:24,736
are fantastic, and I
hope that we can always
568
00:28:24,737 --> 00:28:28,373
work together
forever, forever, yes.
569
00:28:28,374 --> 00:28:32,477
Please, VD, blow
out your candles.
570
00:28:32,478 --> 00:28:34,779
Thank you.
571
00:28:34,780 --> 00:28:37,182
Thank you very much.
572
00:28:37,183 --> 00:28:39,384
Well.
573
00:28:47,393 --> 00:28:50,895
Help me, I'm blind!
574
00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:52,197
I'm blind!
575
00:28:53,199 --> 00:28:54,265
No, no, it's
okay, it's okay.
576
00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:57,001
I'm cake-blind!
577
00:29:01,005 --> 00:29:03,374
VD, VD.
578
00:29:03,375 --> 00:29:07,212
VD, it's whipped cream and
it's actually pretty good.
579
00:29:07,213 --> 00:29:08,880
Well get it off of me!
580
00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:11,249
Alright,
581
00:29:17,522 --> 00:29:19,991
YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!
582
00:29:19,992 --> 00:29:22,227
GET OFF MY SET, ALL OF YOU!
583
00:29:22,228 --> 00:29:24,095
Right now, you fire
them right now!
584
00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,464
VD, it was
practical joke!
585
00:29:26,465 --> 00:29:28,566
Nobody was hurt.
586
00:29:28,567 --> 00:29:30,135
Get off of my set!
587
00:29:30,136 --> 00:29:31,836
All of you!
588
00:29:31,837 --> 00:29:33,271
You're all fired!
589
00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:35,473
You're fired right now
brother, right now!
590
00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:37,909
It's pie in face,
it's part of show business.
591
00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:39,878
Bullshit!
592
00:29:39,879 --> 00:29:41,079
Fire them!
593
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,480
We have to
finish the movie!
594
00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:43,548
No!
595
00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:49,469
GET OFF MY SET NOW ALL OF YOU!
596
00:30:10,575 --> 00:30:13,278
Alright, that's enough.
597
00:30:13,279 --> 00:30:17,113
Not yet, not yet.
598
00:30:21,821 --> 00:30:25,112
Stay here!
599
00:30:27,926 --> 00:30:31,229
Hey, you stupid FX motherfucker.
600
00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:32,564
Who's pissing their panties now?
601
00:30:32,565 --> 00:30:35,466
Huh?
602
00:30:35,467 --> 00:30:37,068
Hasta la vista, maybe.
603
00:30:45,643 --> 00:30:49,112
You want a retake?
604
00:30:49,113 --> 00:30:53,867
Eat my lead.
605
00:30:57,088 --> 00:30:59,424
Vaya con dios, baby.
606
00:31:02,528 --> 00:31:03,895
Hey, it's
pretty funny, a man
607
00:31:03,896 --> 00:31:06,197
all covered in whipped
cream firing a shotgun.
608
00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:08,900
Yeah, funny, let's laugh!
609
00:31:08,901 --> 00:31:11,402
Funny pie in the face man,
come on let's all laugh!
610
00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:12,670
Yah, yah, is funny.
611
00:31:12,671 --> 00:31:14,372
All we need is
some maybe nice tits,
612
00:31:14,373 --> 00:31:17,582
then we really have a show.
613
00:31:20,511 --> 00:31:23,081
That is pretty good you
stupid FX motherfucker
614
00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:26,618
that doesn't even know the
sound of his own blanks, huh?
615
00:31:26,619 --> 00:31:28,219
Yippee kay-yay motherfucker!
616
00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:35,260
Doesn't even know the
sound of his own blanks.
617
00:31:35,261 --> 00:31:40,012
Yoke's on you, ha!
618
00:31:41,399 --> 00:31:44,369
Rub yourself, rub
your boobies on me.
619
00:31:44,370 --> 00:31:47,272
I feel something.
620
00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:49,040
It's working!
621
00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:50,608
It's working!
622
00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:53,010
Okay.
623
00:31:53,011 --> 00:31:54,445
Well that was
fun while it lasted.
624
00:31:54,446 --> 00:31:57,822
let's go!
625
00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:00,985
Okay, it's working, oh yes!
626
00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:03,922
Sophocles heard
it long ago on the Aegean,
627
00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:06,691
and it brought into his
mind the turbid ebb and flow
628
00:32:06,692 --> 00:32:10,093
of human misery.
629
00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:14,139
Oh, oh...
630
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:17,168
Down
the vast edges and
631
00:32:17,169 --> 00:32:22,472
naked shingles of the world.
632
00:32:50,101 --> 00:32:53,137
Oh, oh S-Sue,
I was in the warm.
633
00:32:53,138 --> 00:32:57,974
I saw the warm.
634
00:33:14,392 --> 00:33:17,428
Thank you, my little fish.
635
00:33:24,769 --> 00:33:28,039
Alright, time to get back
to work, bring me.
636
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,475
Touch-ups, after rehearsal.
637
00:33:30,476 --> 00:33:32,777
Okay, at this
point in the fight,
638
00:33:32,778 --> 00:33:34,746
get rid of the swords.
639
00:33:34,747 --> 00:33:40,251
We're going to grapple
mano a mano, yeah?
640
00:33:40,252 --> 00:33:40,250
Okay.
641
00:33:40,252 --> 00:33:45,056
By now, Darkwing has managed
to get me in a sleeper hold.
642
00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:46,824
But the last minute, I
will overpower him and
643
00:33:46,825 --> 00:33:48,459
him on the ground.
644
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:51,529
VD, nobody can get
out of a sleeper hold.
645
00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:53,765
Ah, bull shit.
646
00:33:53,766 --> 00:33:55,333
I do it all the time.
647
00:33:55,334 --> 00:33:56,768
You said you wanted
the fight to be realistic?
648
00:33:56,769 --> 00:33:58,302
Nobody can get out
of a sleeper hold.
649
00:33:58,303 --> 00:34:00,238
I do it all the time, Mark!
650
00:34:00,239 --> 00:34:01,205
It's gonna knock you out.
651
00:34:01,206 --> 00:34:03,474
Ha ha ha ha.
652
00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:06,577
Put one on me, come on, give
it your best shot, stuntman.
653
00:34:06,578 --> 00:34:08,546
Listen, let's
continue the fight, huh?
654
00:34:08,547 --> 00:34:11,582
Are you afraid
of the great VD?
655
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:12,817
You think I don't
know what I'm doing?
656
00:34:12,818 --> 00:34:15,753
You think I got this way
from being photographed?
657
00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:17,822
My chi will overpower your chi
658
00:34:17,823 --> 00:34:19,757
and that is what
you are afraid of.
659
00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:20,725
Bring it on, stuntman.
660
00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:22,360
Put your best move on me now.
661
00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:23,795
VD, it's
gonna knock you out.
662
00:34:23,796 --> 00:34:27,465
Bullshit, do it.
663
00:34:27,466 --> 00:34:29,100
Get the medic.
664
00:34:29,101 --> 00:34:30,768
Tell him he's gonna
need to revive VD.
665
00:34:30,769 --> 00:34:33,271
Ha ha ha ha.
666
00:34:33,272 --> 00:34:34,739
What's happening here?
667
00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:36,274
One minute, I
am proving a point
668
00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:39,177
to the bullshit stuntman.
669
00:34:39,178 --> 00:34:41,579
Ha, okay.
670
00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:45,683
Don't do anything
until I say go.
671
00:34:45,684 --> 00:34:47,418
Are you ready?
672
00:34:47,419 --> 00:34:49,487
Ready.
673
00:34:49,488 --> 00:34:52,864
Huh?
674
00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:58,396
Go!
675
00:34:58,397 --> 00:35:00,164
One.
676
00:35:00,165 --> 00:35:02,100
Two.
677
00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:04,368
Three.
678
00:35:04,369 --> 00:35:06,170
Four.
679
00:35:06,171 --> 00:35:07,772
Five.
680
00:35:07,773 --> 00:35:09,373
Six.
681
00:35:09,374 --> 00:35:11,109
Seven.
682
00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:12,477
Eight.
683
00:35:12,478 --> 00:35:14,479
Nine.
684
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,547
Medic?
685
00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:18,716
Oh, crap he pissed himself.
686
00:35:18,717 --> 00:35:20,751
His pulse is good.
687
00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:23,121
Alright, alright.
688
00:35:23,122 --> 00:35:24,789
Get wardrobe in here
to change his pants.
689
00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:26,290
Hey, look.
690
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:29,360
VD wakes up, and he finds
out that we know that
691
00:35:29,361 --> 00:35:32,330
he pissed his pants, we're gonna
kiss off the whole day, huh.
692
00:35:32,331 --> 00:35:34,432
I thought that's
what we're doing already.
693
00:35:34,433 --> 00:35:39,268
Come on, come on,
pants, fly it on in here!
694
00:35:44,776 --> 00:35:46,577
He stuffs his pants?
695
00:35:46,578 --> 00:35:50,079
That is whack.
696
00:36:08,799 --> 00:36:12,678
Has somebody
got a magnifying glass?
697
00:36:14,539 --> 00:36:16,207
A tattoo.
698
00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:17,808
He got
his Johnny tattooed.
699
00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:19,744
Oh man, what
that would feel like.
700
00:36:19,745 --> 00:36:22,280
No, no that's a rumor, man.
701
00:36:22,281 --> 00:36:23,614
I don't believe that.
702
00:36:23,615 --> 00:36:24,782
No.
703
00:36:24,783 --> 00:36:26,284
It's
definitely not a rumor.
704
00:36:26,285 --> 00:36:27,718
This
is what he wanted.
705
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:31,322
It took about
2000 pricks on his porksword.
706
00:36:31,323 --> 00:36:33,291
On the uh,
tip of his uh...
707
00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:33,958
His manhood?
708
00:36:33,959 --> 00:36:34,926
His manhood.
709
00:36:34,927 --> 00:36:35,760
I hope he told you that.
710
00:36:35,761 --> 00:36:37,461
I hope you did not...
711
00:36:38,730 --> 00:36:39,597
No!
712
00:36:39,598 --> 00:36:41,639
I saw it.
713
00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:49,974
He had a, he had a tattoo of
like uh, eagle's wings or uh,
714
00:36:49,975 --> 00:36:51,742
a talon going over the tip.
715
00:36:51,743 --> 00:36:55,346
How did uh, how
did you happen to see it?
716
00:36:55,347 --> 00:36:56,647
What was the circumstance?
717
00:36:56,648 --> 00:36:57,782
No, he just
decided to show it to me.
718
00:36:57,783 --> 00:36:59,817
So you kept
your trousers up.
719
00:36:59,818 --> 00:37:00,985
I kept mine up.
720
00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:02,220
He just, he gave
you a quick visual,
721
00:37:02,221 --> 00:37:03,654
and that was that.
722
00:37:03,655 --> 00:37:06,757
Red talons on the left
and blue talons on the right.
723
00:37:06,758 --> 00:37:08,326
It's like, an eagle.
724
00:37:08,327 --> 00:37:09,427
Very patriotic.
725
00:37:09,428 --> 00:37:10,861
Maybe he's wanting to fly.
726
00:37:10,862 --> 00:37:14,232
No, I think if he wanted
to fly it would be wings.
727
00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:15,566
Get the pants on him, okay!
728
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,635
Mark!
729
00:37:17,636 --> 00:37:19,370
Lay down next to VD.
730
00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:21,939
We got a movie to
make here, now.
731
00:37:21,940 --> 00:37:24,542
When the medic hits VD with
the smelling salts, okay,
732
00:37:24,543 --> 00:37:26,944
I want you to roll
over, like he's just
733
00:37:26,945 --> 00:37:29,280
flipped you over his back
and onto the floor, okay?
734
00:37:29,281 --> 00:37:31,415
Hey look, with any luck,
he'll believe this, too.
735
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:32,783
Alright, the rest of you.
736
00:37:32,784 --> 00:37:35,419
When VD wakes up, all I
want to hear is cheering.
737
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:36,621
Congratulations,
hey you were great,
738
00:37:36,622 --> 00:37:37,788
hey you're the best
guy in the world,
739
00:37:37,789 --> 00:37:39,390
Hey bullshit, blah
blah blah blah blah.
740
00:37:39,391 --> 00:37:40,291
Okay?
741
00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:40,958
Alright.
742
00:37:40,959 --> 00:37:41,959
You ready?
743
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:42,860
Yeah.
744
00:37:42,861 --> 00:37:49,065
, action.
745
00:38:03,347 --> 00:38:05,583
I tell you, you
bullshit stuntman,
746
00:38:05,584 --> 00:38:08,486
now you have met the great VD.
747
00:38:08,487 --> 00:38:11,722
Who is the one with
the, embarrass now, man?
748
00:38:11,723 --> 00:38:12,823
Is it you?
749
00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:13,824
Oh ho ho ho ho.
750
00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:14,992
Yeah, VD, me.
751
00:38:16,995 --> 00:38:19,797
Whew!
752
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:22,533
Something smells like shit.
753
00:38:22,534 --> 00:38:26,370
Ah, what, did somebody
step on a barking spider?
754
00:38:26,371 --> 00:38:30,808
General, please stop
wafting in my direction, uh.
755
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:37,980
When did I remember to
forget to tie my shoes?
756
00:38:38,716 --> 00:38:39,817
Ah!
757
00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:41,819
I have a great
idea for the fight.
758
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:44,588
Um, the great VD is
going to fly in the movie
759
00:38:44,589 --> 00:38:46,490
like House of Frying Dragons.
760
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:47,692
Yes!
761
00:38:47,693 --> 00:38:49,694
House of Frying Dragons,
we're going to fly me.
762
00:38:49,695 --> 00:38:52,930
VD, why would
your character fly?
763
00:38:52,931 --> 00:38:54,732
Cuz he is a spaceman.
764
00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:57,468
Yes, but House of Frying
Dragons was a fantasy.
765
00:38:57,469 --> 00:38:58,769
Yeah, life is a fantasy.
766
00:38:58,770 --> 00:38:59,637
Like Peter Pan.
767
00:38:59,638 --> 00:39:00,905
Never grow up!
768
00:39:00,906 --> 00:39:03,074
Never grow up, no way
not sir, no not me!
769
00:39:04,576 --> 00:39:05,643
I just thought of something.
770
00:39:05,644 --> 00:39:07,845
What?
771
00:39:07,846 --> 00:39:10,381
The first time
i had jellybeans.
772
00:39:10,382 --> 00:39:11,782
Louie!
773
00:39:11,783 --> 00:39:14,085
Get me some jellybeans and
take out all the yellow ones!
774
00:39:14,086 --> 00:39:15,986
Jellybeans are
on their way, captain.
775
00:39:15,987 --> 00:39:19,322
Aye, aye!
776
00:39:19,457 --> 00:39:21,058
Alright, back to work.
777
00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:22,560
in here.
778
00:39:22,561 --> 00:39:23,828
The design had
to come from somewhere,
779
00:39:23,829 --> 00:39:25,162
even if it was just
his subconsious.
780
00:39:25,163 --> 00:39:26,964
It's like a, that
makes it even better,
781
00:39:26,965 --> 00:39:29,700
a direct snapshot
into his inner psyche.
782
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,369
I think he has color issues,
what's the whole thing
783
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:34,438
with getting all the yellow
jellybeans taken out?
784
00:39:34,439 --> 00:39:36,140
Maybe he does
not like lemon.
785
00:39:36,141 --> 00:39:37,441
No, I think
he has color issues.
786
00:39:37,442 --> 00:39:38,542
I think that's
least of issues.
787
00:39:38,543 --> 00:39:39,810
Well, that may be.
788
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:44,772
Hmm.
789
00:39:44,849 --> 00:39:46,016
What happened to you?
790
00:39:46,017 --> 00:39:48,452
You used to be my best friend.
791
00:39:48,453 --> 00:39:55,124
Johnny doesn't come
out and play anymore.
792
00:40:00,999 --> 00:40:05,668
Uh, that's better.
793
00:40:09,507 --> 00:40:11,742
Hi, girls.
794
00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:30,026
Oh look, she has a
bottom like a little boy's.
795
00:40:30,027 --> 00:40:32,663
� Space Cowboy by Matt Long
796
00:40:32,664 --> 00:40:34,598
I love you.
797
00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:46,177
10, no 15 minutes.
798
00:40:46,178 --> 00:40:49,387
Then they will respect me!
799
00:41:06,564 --> 00:41:08,599
Somebody needs to cum.
800
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,669
Let me.
801
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,809
Are you recording this?
802
00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:19,877
Maybe.
803
00:41:51,008 --> 00:41:51,976
The rockets are falling!
804
00:41:51,977 --> 00:41:54,978
The rockets are falling!
805
00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:03,294
That's a wrap!
806
00:42:04,555 --> 00:42:06,156
I had to work with VD.
807
00:42:06,157 --> 00:42:07,992
I am idiot!
808
00:42:07,993 --> 00:42:11,896
schmuck!
809
00:42:11,897 --> 00:42:14,532
We have to be out
of here by midnight.
810
00:42:14,533 --> 00:42:17,001
We still have three
days' work left.
811
00:42:17,002 --> 00:42:20,671
Emily, get him out
of his trailer.
812
00:42:20,672 --> 00:42:24,882
Do whatever it takes.
813
00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:31,814
Just pretend that
you're at the beach!
814
00:42:45,729 --> 00:42:52,360
I want speak, to Mr. VD.
815
00:42:54,838 --> 00:42:58,424
The great VD.
816
00:42:59,944 --> 00:43:01,879
I made it work.
817
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:05,816
I've got VD's lines
in this script.
818
00:43:05,817 --> 00:43:09,619
And it works.
819
00:43:09,620 --> 00:43:10,721
Okay.
820
00:43:10,722 --> 00:43:14,791
Uh, we have to
cut 10 more pages.
821
00:43:14,792 --> 00:43:15,859
10 pages?
822
00:43:15,860 --> 00:43:17,361
Yes, yes.
823
00:43:17,362 --> 00:43:20,487
Okay.
824
00:43:21,231 --> 00:43:22,299
Is that enough?
825
00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:25,426
Oh wait that's only seven?
826
00:43:25,669 --> 00:43:27,871
Does that work for you?
827
00:43:27,872 --> 00:43:29,039
Oh, Ray.
828
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:30,307
No no no, Ray, that's
not what I mean.
829
00:43:30,308 --> 00:43:35,112
What if the bad guy
falls to his death?
830
00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:37,214
Trips and falls.
831
00:43:37,215 --> 00:43:38,282
By, by himself?
832
00:43:38,283 --> 00:43:39,783
Yes.
833
00:43:39,784 --> 00:43:43,354
It, it's logical, people
trip and fall all the time.
834
00:43:43,355 --> 00:43:47,257
No final fight scene,
no dialog, no, no, no swords?
835
00:43:47,258 --> 00:43:48,659
No, no.
836
00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:51,195
Just uh, trips, and falls.
837
00:43:51,196 --> 00:43:52,396
Like life.
838
00:43:52,397 --> 00:43:55,940
Life!
839
00:44:00,871 --> 00:44:04,675
Well why don't we just
have them kiss and make up?
840
00:44:04,676 --> 00:44:06,343
They could walk
out holding hands.
841
00:44:06,344 --> 00:44:09,880
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
rape and kill your sister,
842
00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:09,879
it was an accident.
843
00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:13,717
Oh, that's okay because I
live my life out of love now
844
00:44:13,718 --> 00:44:15,986
and I want you to know
that I love you too.
845
00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:17,154
I forgive you!
846
00:44:17,155 --> 00:44:18,355
Okay.
847
00:44:18,356 --> 00:44:19,790
The bad guy and our
hero could become the
848
00:44:19,791 --> 00:44:22,126
poster children for
anger management.
849
00:44:22,127 --> 00:44:26,030
If we can make it
work, you can, too!
850
00:44:26,031 --> 00:44:29,990
Okay, I get point.
851
00:44:30,034 --> 00:44:34,138
Burton, thanks
for the job, really.
852
00:44:34,139 --> 00:44:35,973
But I'm done.
853
00:44:35,974 --> 00:44:37,675
I wish you luck.
854
00:44:37,676 --> 00:44:40,967
Goodbye.
855
00:44:55,859 --> 00:44:58,694
Yah!
856
00:45:20,150 --> 00:45:23,778
Hewwo.
857
00:45:26,356 --> 00:45:27,725
I'm almost feeling sorry
858
00:45:27,726 --> 00:45:30,094
for cards dealting to Burton.
859
00:45:30,095 --> 00:45:31,829
He put everything
to this picture.
860
00:45:31,830 --> 00:45:33,097
Yeah, what an idiot.
861
00:45:33,098 --> 00:45:34,865
Well, VD's pictures
still make money.
862
00:45:34,866 --> 00:45:36,233
Not in America.
863
00:45:36,234 --> 00:45:39,002
Did you know that his name,
VD, in America is actually
864
00:45:39,003 --> 00:45:41,972
a sexually transmitted disease?
865
00:45:41,973 --> 00:45:42,973
Really?
866
00:45:42,974 --> 00:45:44,341
Yeah.
867
00:45:44,342 --> 00:45:46,110
Yeah, yeah I think it's
how you say it in Europe,
868
00:45:46,111 --> 00:45:48,345
the whole W,V, Wagner, Vagner...
869
00:45:48,346 --> 00:45:49,480
Wagner, Vagner.
870
00:45:49,481 --> 00:45:50,414
Yeah.
871
00:45:50,415 --> 00:45:52,373
Yeah.
872
00:45:56,754 --> 00:46:01,558
You know Emily, last time
you were very angry with me.
873
00:46:01,559 --> 00:46:06,897
I sent you flowers,
chocolates, candy, wine.
874
00:46:06,898 --> 00:46:10,067
And I even wrote you a poem
and you did not respond to me
875
00:46:10,068 --> 00:46:15,839
and it's my dying wish that
I have the key to your heart.
876
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,143
I do not have the key,
I cannot find the key.
877
00:46:19,144 --> 00:46:30,403
And I just, I, I love you,
Emily and I, I want your love.
878
00:46:32,256 --> 00:46:35,925
You want see my...
879
00:46:39,029 --> 00:46:41,322
Tits?
880
00:46:42,065 --> 00:46:44,368
Yes.
881
00:46:44,369 --> 00:46:45,602
Then you go set!
882
00:46:45,603 --> 00:46:48,138
Work!
883
00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:51,908
Yes.
884
00:46:51,909 --> 00:46:53,343
No picture.
885
00:46:53,344 --> 00:46:56,213
Oh Emily, you know I
have to have a picture.
886
00:46:56,214 --> 00:47:00,299
No.
887
00:47:00,951 --> 00:47:03,921
Oh, I'm kind of
sleepy now, I have to,
888
00:47:03,922 --> 00:47:07,391
I think I have to take a nap.
889
00:47:07,392 --> 00:47:09,626
Whoa.
890
00:47:09,627 --> 00:47:13,796
Wait!
891
00:47:38,121 --> 00:47:41,207
She'll be back.
892
00:47:53,136 --> 00:47:54,504
Emily?
893
00:47:54,505 --> 00:47:56,406
What happened?
894
00:47:56,407 --> 00:47:58,375
I am virgin.
895
00:47:58,376 --> 00:48:01,411
He doesn't
want your virginity.
896
00:48:01,412 --> 00:48:03,746
He wants take picture.
897
00:48:03,981 --> 00:48:05,772
Cover your face.
898
00:48:06,516 --> 00:48:08,085
No!
899
00:48:08,086 --> 00:48:10,711
1,000 Euro!
900
00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:13,389
2,000!
901
00:48:15,025 --> 00:48:16,093
Two?
902
00:48:16,094 --> 00:48:18,362
Thousand Euro?
903
00:48:18,363 --> 00:48:20,988
Yes.
904
00:48:23,033 --> 00:48:27,953
3,000 Euro me,
3,000 more my family.
905
00:48:31,642 --> 00:48:34,768
Ah, Emily.
906
00:48:34,978 --> 00:48:38,248
Emily.
907
00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:41,384
You are so beautiful.
908
00:48:41,385 --> 00:48:44,087
No flower or the things that
pop up out of the ground
909
00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:46,990
in the spring can
equal your beauty.
910
00:48:46,991 --> 00:48:51,461
I, I love you.
911
00:48:51,462 --> 00:48:54,755
I do.
912
00:48:59,269 --> 00:49:01,571
Thank you Emily, at last
my mirror is complete.
913
00:49:01,572 --> 00:49:04,241
You will never forget this.
914
00:49:04,242 --> 00:49:05,475
You come!
915
00:49:05,476 --> 00:49:08,644
Almost, almost.
916
00:49:09,546 --> 00:49:11,381
Am I such a bad boy?
917
00:49:11,382 --> 00:49:14,251
My mommy, she breastfed
me, I love breasts.
918
00:49:14,252 --> 00:49:16,053
There is nothing
in the world that
919
00:49:16,054 --> 00:49:20,097
a good breast suck can't cure.
920
00:49:20,223 --> 00:49:24,352
Am I such a bad boy?
921
00:49:26,430 --> 00:49:30,267
Okay, umm, checklist.
922
00:49:30,268 --> 00:49:31,468
Let's take it from where
Maria doinks me on the head
923
00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:34,304
with the little
aluminum missile.
924
00:49:34,305 --> 00:49:36,473
You know, maybe
instead of hitting you,
925
00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:38,241
I could help you.
926
00:49:38,242 --> 00:49:41,411
What are you going to do
if a woman doesn't have a gun?
927
00:49:41,412 --> 00:49:44,448
You going to, blow
kisses at him?
928
00:49:44,449 --> 00:49:47,184
Maybe you beat him up with
your batting of the eyelashes?
929
00:49:47,185 --> 00:49:48,518
Huh?
930
00:49:48,519 --> 00:49:49,720
Is that what it is?
931
00:49:49,721 --> 00:49:51,588
You know, I get great
idea for your character
932
00:49:51,589 --> 00:49:52,756
and you want to change it?
933
00:49:52,757 --> 00:49:53,757
Is that it?
934
00:49:53,758 --> 00:49:56,293
You want to be the director?
935
00:49:56,294 --> 00:49:57,461
Is that it?
936
00:49:57,462 --> 00:50:00,430
Sure, yeah this
will be fun, yeah!
937
00:50:00,431 --> 00:50:03,367
We bring in all the helpless
girls and the great VD
938
00:50:03,368 --> 00:50:05,569
can come and rescue them.
939
00:50:05,570 --> 00:50:07,304
What are you doing?
940
00:50:07,305 --> 00:50:08,372
Directing.
941
00:50:08,373 --> 00:50:11,208
You, get off my set, stupido!
942
00:50:11,209 --> 00:50:13,643
Get out of here!
943
00:50:13,644 --> 00:50:15,345
You are stupido!
944
00:50:15,346 --> 00:50:19,383
If only implants were brains,
then you could be Einstein.
945
00:50:19,384 --> 00:50:20,784
And then, you could direct.
946
00:50:20,785 --> 00:50:22,019
Yes?
947
00:50:22,020 --> 00:50:23,320
Get off my set!
948
00:50:23,321 --> 00:50:24,721
I fire you!
949
00:50:37,768 --> 00:50:40,270
Women!
950
00:50:40,271 --> 00:50:41,438
It's still hard
to believe they're
951
00:50:41,439 --> 00:50:43,507
not getting bad boy clause.
952
00:50:43,508 --> 00:50:45,509
Unbelievable
with his reputation.
953
00:50:45,510 --> 00:50:46,777
And!
954
00:50:46,778 --> 00:50:50,080
I hear he gets to choose
his own call time.
955
00:50:50,081 --> 00:50:52,582
Who you have to fuck,
choosing own call time?
956
00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:54,384
Producer.
957
00:50:54,385 --> 00:50:56,620
Oh, no no no
no, I mean in life?
958
00:50:56,621 --> 00:50:59,056
Being dealting these cards?
959
00:50:59,057 --> 00:51:00,824
That'd be the
dealer, the dealer.
960
00:51:00,825 --> 00:51:02,325
Yeah.
961
00:51:02,326 --> 00:51:05,829
The dealer, the
dealer, the fucking dealer.
962
00:51:05,830 --> 00:51:08,131
The fucking dealer.
963
00:51:08,132 --> 00:51:10,300
VD I'm sorry,
we cannot fly you,
964
00:51:10,301 --> 00:51:11,568
we just don't have the time.
965
00:51:11,569 --> 00:51:13,603
Mr Producer, you
will make the time.
966
00:51:13,604 --> 00:51:16,606
No no no no, we must
shoot the fight scene as is.
967
00:51:16,607 --> 00:51:21,311
Mm-hmm, as fight
choreographer, you
shoot the fight
968
00:51:21,312 --> 00:51:23,413
the way I say it
is in my contract.
969
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:25,816
You
are the director and
970
00:51:25,817 --> 00:51:28,752
the fight choreographer, but
you aren't the set designer.
971
00:51:28,753 --> 00:51:31,621
As the fight choreographer,
the next part of the fight
972
00:51:31,622 --> 00:51:35,625
is in the air, is what I say,
you cheap Euro producer, huh!
973
00:51:35,626 --> 00:51:36,726
Hey!
974
00:51:36,727 --> 00:51:37,861
You can't spend
5 Euro on a stunt?
975
00:51:37,862 --> 00:51:40,163
Huh, I'll tell you
what, you take this,
976
00:51:40,164 --> 00:51:43,800
you go hock it for 10 Euro,
and you build us a fucking set!
977
00:51:43,801 --> 00:51:45,769
Huh, what is this piece of shit?
978
00:51:45,770 --> 00:51:47,404
What is it, cardboard?
979
00:51:47,405 --> 00:51:49,239
No, it's paper.
980
00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:51,141
You give me
5,000,000 Euro, yeah?
981
00:51:51,142 --> 00:51:52,909
You tell me this is
10,000,000 Euro movie.
982
00:51:52,910 --> 00:51:55,445
Where's the other 5,000,00, huh?
983
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:56,613
What did this cost?
984
00:51:56,614 --> 00:51:59,216
Oh, one Euro?
985
00:51:59,217 --> 00:52:00,417
Huh?
986
00:52:00,418 --> 00:52:01,651
I show you what I
think of your set, huh?
987
00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:04,855
Oh, oh oh, precious
set, I love you.
988
00:52:04,856 --> 00:52:06,656
Uh, ow, ow ow!
989
00:52:06,657 --> 00:52:08,158
Shit shit shit!
990
00:52:08,159 --> 00:52:09,392
My toe, get away from me!
991
00:52:09,393 --> 00:52:10,627
Get away from me.
992
00:52:10,628 --> 00:52:12,896
Finished...set...I
am not finished!
993
00:52:14,532 --> 00:52:15,465
Huh?
994
00:52:15,466 --> 00:52:16,433
Take that you stupid set!
995
00:52:16,434 --> 00:52:21,103
Uh!
996
00:52:28,712 --> 00:52:32,482
I showing you,
you fucking set!
997
00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:34,567
Ha ha ha ha.
998
00:52:40,557 --> 00:52:41,958
Ow!
999
00:52:41,959 --> 00:52:43,193
Shit.
1000
00:52:43,194 --> 00:52:45,228
I think I am stuck.
1001
00:52:45,229 --> 00:52:46,296
Hello?
1002
00:52:46,297 --> 00:52:48,165
Where's my grippers?
1003
00:52:48,166 --> 00:52:50,233
Where's my grippers?
1004
00:52:50,234 --> 00:52:51,635
That is whack.
1005
00:52:51,636 --> 00:52:57,340
Uh, I'm over here you
know, hey, like uh, hey!
1006
00:52:57,341 --> 00:52:59,242
Hey, I'm over here.
1007
00:52:59,243 --> 00:53:00,911
In here, hello?
1008
00:53:00,912 --> 00:53:02,245
I'm in the rock!
1009
00:53:02,246 --> 00:53:04,314
Video, come on,
1010
00:53:04,315 --> 00:53:05,949
Help me.
1011
00:53:05,950 --> 00:53:08,652
Excuse me?
1012
00:53:10,388 --> 00:53:11,454
What's happening out there?
1013
00:53:25,569 --> 00:53:27,671
Da, except I
don't speak Russian!
1014
00:53:27,672 --> 00:53:28,838
I know you want to help.
1015
00:53:31,808 --> 00:53:34,311
Keep the producer
away from me.
1016
00:53:34,312 --> 00:53:36,012
Keep him away from my butt.
1017
00:53:54,698 --> 00:53:57,801
Harry,
are you awake?
1018
00:53:57,802 --> 00:54:02,639
I had to call and let you
know that he's stoned,
1019
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:06,876
he's drunk, he's high,
he's wielding a knife,
1020
00:54:06,877 --> 00:54:09,646
I could get killed right
now, he's so psycho.
1021
00:54:09,647 --> 00:54:11,982
He's just rammed his head
into a fiberglass rock.
1022
00:54:19,957 --> 00:54:20,924
That's better!
1023
00:54:20,925 --> 00:54:22,058
Can I say it?
1024
00:54:22,059 --> 00:54:23,727
- No, is...no.
- I'm going to.
1025
00:54:23,728 --> 00:54:24,761
Okay, go ahead.
1026
00:54:24,762 --> 00:54:26,296
Dickhead!
1027
00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,972
Shouldn't you be
out there giving him a hand?
1028
00:54:37,475 --> 00:54:38,675
So you're
sending me back to the hotel
1029
00:54:38,676 --> 00:54:40,076
until you have ironclad
assurances that I do not
1030
00:54:40,077 --> 00:54:43,346
have to do battle
with um, a person
1031
00:54:43,347 --> 00:54:46,816
who is on drugs and alcohol.
1032
00:55:06,403 --> 00:55:08,638
Harry,
wake up Harry.
1033
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:09,472
Come on.
1034
00:55:09,473 --> 00:55:10,907
You have no idea!
1035
00:55:10,908 --> 00:55:14,911
There's a psychopath on the
loose wielding lethal weapons.
1036
00:55:14,912 --> 00:55:16,112
You're supposed to be my agent,
1037
00:55:16,113 --> 00:55:18,515
standing in front of
me and protecting me.
1038
00:55:18,516 --> 00:55:19,716
AHHH!
1039
00:55:19,717 --> 00:55:21,117
Here you
are, off in America,
1040
00:55:21,118 --> 00:55:23,720
in a nice warm bed, and here
I'm on a set with a psycho!
1041
00:55:23,721 --> 00:55:25,655
Hello?
1042
00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:28,491
Hello?
1043
00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:33,562
You voiceless,
lawless, neutered coward.
1044
00:55:33,563 --> 00:55:35,965
Take that, you stupid rock!
1045
00:55:41,438 --> 00:55:43,473
Ah!
1046
00:55:43,474 --> 00:55:46,476
Take that you stupid shit.
1047
00:55:46,477 --> 00:55:47,811
Hey, VD!
1048
00:55:47,812 --> 00:55:50,714
I've spoken to special effects,
we're going to fly you.
1049
00:55:50,715 --> 00:55:52,749
I like the idea, it
will uh, give extra...
1050
00:55:52,750 --> 00:55:54,584
Now you like the idea?
1051
00:55:54,585 --> 00:55:56,353
Visual interest to...
1052
00:55:57,922 --> 00:56:02,826
You will be very happy that
you have flown the great VD.
1053
00:56:02,827 --> 00:56:04,994
Sir Jeffrey!
1054
00:56:04,995 --> 00:56:07,430
Hey, let's run lines.
1055
00:56:07,431 --> 00:56:10,766
Leave us alone,
we are rehearsing!
1056
00:56:11,034 --> 00:56:12,402
What he's doing?
1057
00:56:12,403 --> 00:56:15,038
Okay, uh, you
have the first line.
1058
00:56:15,039 --> 00:56:16,606
The
crystals are mine.
1059
00:56:16,607 --> 00:56:19,476
The crystals
are for the people.
1060
00:56:19,477 --> 00:56:21,378
The people
are ignorant peasants.
1061
00:56:21,379 --> 00:56:24,848
They'll just piss away their
money on tithes and beer.
1062
00:56:24,849 --> 00:56:27,650
I represent
the people's beer.
1063
00:56:27,651 --> 00:56:29,486
Are you
really going to say that?
1064
00:56:29,487 --> 00:56:32,422
I wrote that,
I think it's funny.
1065
00:56:32,423 --> 00:56:34,190
There's
beer on Mars?
1066
00:56:36,993 --> 00:56:39,562
There is now.
1067
00:56:39,563 --> 00:56:41,131
Why are you
doing that with your voice?
1068
00:56:41,132 --> 00:56:43,199
I heard that when
a director does that
1069
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,802
it makes his voice
low and gravelly.
1070
00:56:45,803 --> 00:56:47,470
Yes, but
naturally your voice has
1071
00:56:47,471 --> 00:56:49,005
so much more color in it.
1072
00:56:49,006 --> 00:56:51,808
My voice has color?
1073
00:56:51,809 --> 00:56:54,511
In real
life, you're so animated.
1074
00:56:54,512 --> 00:56:58,114
But when you act, you stick
your voice down in one note.
1075
00:56:58,115 --> 00:56:59,416
I do?
1076
00:56:59,417 --> 00:57:00,483
Yes.
1077
00:57:00,484 --> 00:57:01,651
Why would you do that?
1078
00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:04,053
Because it sounds cool.
1079
00:57:04,054 --> 00:57:05,588
Yes, for a minute.
1080
00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:07,590
But you know, when you go
to a concert, don't you want
1081
00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:10,660
to hear all the instruments,
not just the tuba?
1082
00:57:10,661 --> 00:57:12,929
A tube of what?
1083
00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:14,497
Toothpaste?
1084
00:57:14,498 --> 00:57:16,232
Come on you know
it's like, big brass horn?
1085
00:57:16,233 --> 00:57:17,767
Got a big bell on it?
1086
00:57:17,768 --> 00:57:20,103
Oh, the tuba!
1087
00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:21,871
Bom bom bom bom bom bom.
1088
00:57:21,872 --> 00:57:23,740
I lick the tuba!
1089
00:57:23,741 --> 00:57:25,875
Oops.
1090
00:57:25,876 --> 00:57:28,545
I said lick, so
I have to, sorry.
1091
00:57:28,546 --> 00:57:30,146
Ha hahaha!
1092
00:57:30,147 --> 00:57:32,582
Do chicks dig that?
1093
00:57:32,583 --> 00:57:35,952
They go crazy.
1094
00:57:35,953 --> 00:57:37,654
Boy, you've had
some breaks, haven't you?
1095
00:57:37,655 --> 00:57:39,989
A little luck has
hit me on the head.
1096
00:57:39,990 --> 00:57:43,825
Among other things.
1097
00:57:45,094 --> 00:57:47,664
Is it true
that you went down on
1098
00:57:47,665 --> 00:57:51,567
all those chicks in front of
everyone at your birthday?
1099
00:57:51,568 --> 00:57:53,136
Of course.
1100
00:57:53,137 --> 00:57:55,805
Aren't you afraid
of contracting something?
1101
00:57:55,806 --> 00:57:57,207
Hmm-mm.
1102
00:57:57,208 --> 00:57:58,741
I never get sick.
1103
00:57:58,742 --> 00:58:05,080
Life, is the disease,
and I am the cure!
1104
00:58:06,082 --> 00:58:08,017
Is your microphone on?
1105
00:58:08,018 --> 00:58:09,819
Disconnect the cable,
I once knew a sound guy
1106
00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:12,722
who played me a tape
once of crews, you know,
1107
00:58:12,723 --> 00:58:14,858
going at it in his trailer.
1108
00:58:17,728 --> 00:58:19,662
You know what he says
when he's cumming?
1109
00:58:19,663 --> 00:58:20,864
What?
1110
00:58:20,865 --> 00:58:23,233
Awwww!
1111
00:58:23,234 --> 00:58:27,002
No mommy, no!
1112
00:58:27,003 --> 00:58:29,172
That's fucked up!
1113
00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:32,382
Quite.
1114
00:58:38,548 --> 00:58:41,217
You must now swear to
me that you will never
1115
00:58:41,218 --> 00:58:44,020
tell a single soul what
I'm about to tell you,
1116
00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:46,656
or I will hunt you
down and kill you.
1117
00:58:46,657 --> 00:58:50,660
You have my
solemn word as a gentleman.
1118
00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:52,729
Okay.
1119
00:58:52,730 --> 00:58:57,699
I will now tell you
something about the great VD.
1120
00:58:57,700 --> 00:59:00,236
No one fucks the great VD.
1121
00:59:00,237 --> 00:59:01,671
You give me one pile of shit
1122
00:59:01,672 --> 00:59:04,674
I will give you
100 piles of shit.
1123
00:59:04,675 --> 00:59:08,878
Burton, he told me that we
were making a 10,000,000 Euro
1124
00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:11,114
movie, he gives me
5,000,000 Euro, right?
1125
00:59:11,115 --> 00:59:13,349
What does he spend on
this set, like 10 Euro?
1126
00:59:13,350 --> 00:59:16,585
This set will look like
shit, I will look like shit.
1127
00:59:16,586 --> 00:59:20,088
I don't want them to
release this movie.
1128
00:59:20,089 --> 00:59:21,991
Burton is out there
right now eating his shit
1129
00:59:21,992 --> 00:59:23,593
and I am salting it.
1130
00:59:23,594 --> 00:59:26,129
As long as I do what
I am doing, I am free
1131
00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:29,831
to leave here at
midnight tonight.
1132
00:59:29,832 --> 00:59:32,001
Pretty brilliant, huh?
1133
00:59:32,002 --> 00:59:32,902
But
no one will ever
1134
00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:34,270
want to work with you again.
1135
00:59:34,271 --> 00:59:37,840
Oh, bullshit, I got a
three-picture deal waiting,
1136
00:59:37,841 --> 00:59:39,676
I could do a television series.
1137
00:59:39,677 --> 00:59:40,910
Really?
1138
00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:45,705
Oh, my aching vagina!
1139
00:59:46,249 --> 00:59:49,017
What's the matter?
1140
00:59:49,018 --> 00:59:50,887
Can I tell you
a secret that if you tell
1141
00:59:50,888 --> 00:59:53,597
anyone else I get to kill you?
1142
00:59:54,157 --> 00:59:56,959
You have my
word as a gentleman.
1143
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:59,028
Your film is the
only job I've been offered
1144
00:59:59,029 --> 01:00:01,230
in the last two years.
1145
01:00:01,231 --> 01:00:03,833
This job saved my house.
1146
01:00:03,834 --> 01:00:04,968
What?!
1147
01:00:04,969 --> 01:00:07,203
That is bullshit,
fire your agent!
1148
01:00:07,204 --> 01:00:09,706
You are the best actor!
1149
01:00:09,707 --> 01:00:11,374
VD, there
are a million good actors,
1150
01:00:11,375 --> 01:00:12,909
but very few stars.
1151
01:00:12,910 --> 01:00:14,377
You are a star.
1152
01:00:14,378 --> 01:00:16,312
I am just an actor.
1153
01:00:16,313 --> 01:00:18,915
Ha ha no, you are a star.
1154
01:00:18,916 --> 01:00:21,651
A minor
twinkler, perhaps.
1155
01:00:21,652 --> 01:00:23,386
Only a few stars rise.
1156
01:00:23,387 --> 01:00:26,689
And you have got yours
a long way up there.
1157
01:00:26,690 --> 01:00:29,626
Yeah my star did
go up a little ways.
1158
01:00:29,627 --> 01:00:31,661
Yours could, too!
1159
01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:34,063
You know how
when you meet some people,
1160
01:00:34,064 --> 01:00:36,232
you just want to
rush up and hug them?
1161
01:00:36,233 --> 01:00:38,101
There's something
about them you just
1162
01:00:38,102 --> 01:00:39,969
want to hold close to you?
1163
01:00:39,970 --> 01:00:42,872
And then there are other
people who give you the creeps.
1164
01:00:42,873 --> 01:00:44,707
Okay.
1165
01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:46,976
You have this
boyish quality about you.
1166
01:00:46,977 --> 01:00:48,378
It's adorable.
1167
01:00:48,379 --> 01:00:51,314
I am one of those people
who give others the creeps.
1168
01:00:51,315 --> 01:00:53,016
No!
1169
01:00:53,017 --> 01:00:55,118
Who's playing
the villain in the movie, hmm?
1170
01:00:55,119 --> 01:00:56,352
Who?
1171
01:00:56,353 --> 01:00:57,687
You.
1172
01:00:57,688 --> 01:01:01,731
Was
that an accident?
1173
01:01:02,392 --> 01:01:03,426
No.
1174
01:01:03,427 --> 01:01:04,927
And it's okay.
1175
01:01:04,928 --> 01:01:06,829
Do I look sad?
1176
01:01:06,830 --> 01:01:10,867
It's been a great
living, most of the time.
1177
01:01:10,868 --> 01:01:12,702
Do you want to
get out of here?
1178
01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:14,404
Do you want to get out
of this stinking set?
1179
01:01:14,405 --> 01:01:15,905
I want to go home.
1180
01:01:15,906 --> 01:01:17,674
I want to hold my children.
1181
01:01:17,675 --> 01:01:19,375
Then the great VD
will fire you, too.
1182
01:01:19,376 --> 01:01:21,744
Let's do it on the set
with more people around.
1183
01:01:21,745 --> 01:01:23,880
Maria wanted an audience.
1184
01:01:23,881 --> 01:01:25,982
She
wanted you to fire her?
1185
01:01:25,983 --> 01:01:28,251
Yes she has to
leave tomorrow and
wanted to go shopping.
1186
01:01:28,252 --> 01:01:29,052
Really?
1187
01:01:29,053 --> 01:01:29,986
Yes.
1188
01:01:29,987 --> 01:01:32,455
She's going to buy me a present!
1189
01:01:32,456 --> 01:01:35,158
VD, that
was great acting!
1190
01:01:35,159 --> 01:01:36,693
Really?
1191
01:01:37,461 --> 01:01:39,996
Well, thank you Sir Jeffrey.
1192
01:01:39,997 --> 01:01:41,297
Think of some really
horrible things to say
1193
01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:44,233
about me, it will
be all the more fun.
1194
01:01:44,234 --> 01:01:45,768
- I
- think I could muster
1195
01:01:45,769 --> 01:01:47,870
a few things for the occasion.
1196
01:01:47,871 --> 01:01:49,806
I finally get to do some acting.
1197
01:01:49,807 --> 01:01:51,874
Yes, yes a performance
is in order!
1198
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:53,142
It's going to be fun, yes?
1199
01:01:53,143 --> 01:01:54,277
Yes!
1200
01:01:54,278 --> 01:01:55,712
Good!
1201
01:01:55,713 --> 01:01:58,815
VD, what
a brilliant surprise.
1202
01:01:58,816 --> 01:02:02,217
It's been fun working with you.
1203
01:02:02,218 --> 01:02:05,094
Well not everyone
has said that about me.
1204
01:02:07,290 --> 01:02:11,251
Thank you.
1205
01:02:12,995 --> 01:02:18,458
You see, I want to hug you.
1206
01:02:18,935 --> 01:02:23,004
I told you he
hits for other team.
1207
01:02:23,005 --> 01:02:25,924
Baseball?
1208
01:02:26,776 --> 01:02:30,737
See you on the
set, Sir Jeffrey.
1209
01:02:45,228 --> 01:02:47,530
You know
what your problem is?
1210
01:02:47,531 --> 01:02:49,899
No one says no to you anymore.
1211
01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:52,368
When was the last time
anyone said no to you?
1212
01:02:52,369 --> 01:02:56,138
When was the last time
you said no to yourself?
1213
01:02:56,139 --> 01:02:59,765
What are you talking about?
1214
01:02:59,909 --> 01:03:03,045
What is a
man if his chief good and
1215
01:03:03,046 --> 01:03:07,316
market of his time
be to sleep and feed.
1216
01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:09,852
A beast no more.
1217
01:03:09,853 --> 01:03:13,456
The best part of you
is not being fed.
1218
01:03:13,457 --> 01:03:15,024
Why not?
1219
01:03:15,025 --> 01:03:16,793
Because you've
locked it away from yourself
1220
01:03:16,794 --> 01:03:20,329
and from everyone else with
bars of coke and drugs.
1221
01:03:20,330 --> 01:03:22,365
It's not bars, it's lines.
1222
01:03:22,366 --> 01:03:23,232
Whatever!
1223
01:03:23,233 --> 01:03:24,200
It's drugs.
1224
01:03:24,201 --> 01:03:25,535
It's killing your discipline.
1225
01:03:25,536 --> 01:03:27,303
And you being a star, it's
killing the discipline
1226
01:03:27,304 --> 01:03:28,905
of everyone around you.
1227
01:03:28,906 --> 01:03:31,140
You have too much power.
1228
01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:33,576
And everyone is afraid
of losing favor with you,
1229
01:03:33,577 --> 01:03:36,546
or you're going to use
your power against them.
1230
01:03:36,547 --> 01:03:38,548
Everyone is afraid
to say no to you, but
1231
01:03:38,549 --> 01:03:42,083
all they have to
do is just say no.
1232
01:03:42,084 --> 01:03:43,486
You want to say no to me?
1233
01:03:43,487 --> 01:03:45,621
Yes, everyone
should say no to you.
1234
01:03:45,622 --> 01:03:49,826
Because you are an addict,
and you belong in rehab.
1235
01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:51,260
You say no to me?
1236
01:03:51,261 --> 01:03:53,396
Yes,
I say no to you.
1237
01:03:53,397 --> 01:03:55,198
You want to say no to me?
1238
01:03:55,199 --> 01:03:56,232
Yes.
1239
01:03:56,233 --> 01:03:58,568
You say no?
1240
01:03:58,569 --> 01:03:59,335
Yes.
1241
01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:00,570
No or yes?
1242
01:04:00,571 --> 01:04:02,071
I say no to
you, and everyone else
1243
01:04:02,072 --> 01:04:03,239
should say no to you as well!
1244
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:06,843
You want to say
no to the great VD.
1245
01:04:06,844 --> 01:04:12,348
Ha ha, well, man of flowery
words, then you are stupid.
1246
01:04:12,349 --> 01:04:15,451
Because no one says no to
the great VD, especially
1247
01:04:15,452 --> 01:04:18,321
when VD is the director!
1248
01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:20,590
So I fire you!
1249
01:04:20,591 --> 01:04:23,226
Get off my set!
1250
01:04:23,227 --> 01:04:24,994
You think
having to leave your
1251
01:04:24,995 --> 01:04:27,430
little playground here,
your sandbox, is punishment?
1252
01:04:30,933 --> 01:04:32,468
Hey, don't let
the door hit your
1253
01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:36,847
flowery dick on the way out.
1254
01:04:40,209 --> 01:04:42,678
You're
not a hero, VD.
1255
01:04:42,679 --> 01:04:44,947
You're a movie star.
1256
01:04:44,948 --> 01:04:46,182
An icon.
1257
01:04:46,183 --> 01:04:48,017
That is not as
substantial or deep as the
1258
01:04:48,018 --> 01:04:50,586
film your image is recorded on.
1259
01:04:50,587 --> 01:04:54,957
A vapid photon, glittering
for an ignorant audience.
1260
01:04:54,958 --> 01:04:57,927
I pity, really pity your fans.
1261
01:04:57,928 --> 01:04:59,662
I wish they knew what an
appalling effort it takes
1262
01:04:59,663 --> 01:05:02,899
to get your facade ready
to be photographed.
1263
01:05:02,900 --> 01:05:05,568
A photograph of a
facade that moves.
1264
01:05:05,569 --> 01:05:08,704
That is how I
shall remember you.
1265
01:05:08,705 --> 01:05:12,108
You cannot hear my no,
but you will hear the no
1266
01:05:12,109 --> 01:05:16,144
that life delivers you.
1267
01:05:16,145 --> 01:05:20,483
VD, you are the disease.
1268
01:05:20,484 --> 01:05:25,353
And you, and you
alone are the cure.
1269
01:05:58,521 --> 01:06:01,991
I am the disease
and I am the cure.
1270
01:06:01,992 --> 01:06:06,536
That was my line, he changed it.
1271
01:06:07,396 --> 01:06:09,332
He was joking.
1272
01:06:09,333 --> 01:06:12,958
Joke's on you.
1273
01:06:17,707 --> 01:06:21,143
VD, where are you going?
1274
01:06:21,144 --> 01:06:24,180
I'll be back.
1275
01:06:24,181 --> 01:06:27,682
We have to
finish the movie.
1276
01:06:34,757 --> 01:06:36,726
People are supposed
to say no to me,
1277
01:06:36,727 --> 01:06:39,893
you wanna say no to me?
1278
01:06:40,029 --> 01:06:44,000
Okay, umm, no, no!
1279
01:06:44,001 --> 01:06:48,085
You cannot leave set.
1280
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:08,981
Fuck you.
1281
01:07:44,527 --> 01:07:45,761
You want to say no?
1282
01:07:45,762 --> 01:07:47,563
To me?
1283
01:07:47,564 --> 01:07:51,149
To the great VD?
1284
01:07:51,267 --> 01:07:54,770
You should say no to me.
1285
01:08:06,550 --> 01:08:10,050
What, did I get
some on my face?
1286
01:08:14,790 --> 01:08:17,693
What, what,
what are you doing?
1287
01:08:17,694 --> 01:08:20,096
My dick says no to me.
1288
01:08:20,097 --> 01:08:21,664
My dick says no to me.
1289
01:08:21,665 --> 01:08:22,665
Stop this!
1290
01:08:22,666 --> 01:08:25,267
Stop it!
1291
01:08:28,238 --> 01:08:29,438
Who is it?
1292
01:08:33,509 --> 01:08:35,009
Maria.
1293
01:08:35,678 --> 01:08:37,279
Hi.
1294
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:38,314
Hi baby.
1295
01:08:38,315 --> 01:08:39,715
What are you doing here?
1296
01:08:39,716 --> 01:08:43,285
Well I wanted to get you
something to remember me by.
1297
01:08:43,286 --> 01:08:44,453
Oh thank you, Maria.
1298
01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:46,355
I didn't think maybe
you were gonna actually
1299
01:08:46,356 --> 01:08:47,590
go shopping for me.
1300
01:08:47,591 --> 01:08:49,458
What is it?
1301
01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:52,460
Well open it.
1302
01:08:53,295 --> 01:08:54,930
Oh!
1303
01:08:58,267 --> 01:09:00,169
You didn't get
this at a store.
1304
01:09:00,170 --> 01:09:01,270
No, I didn't.
1305
01:09:01,271 --> 01:09:02,771
Props had an extra one.
1306
01:09:02,772 --> 01:09:03,506
You like?
1307
01:09:03,507 --> 01:09:05,965
Awwww.
1308
01:09:07,343 --> 01:09:08,777
I love you.
1309
01:09:08,778 --> 01:09:13,549
Awww, honey you know
it's not love, it's location.
1310
01:09:13,550 --> 01:09:15,484
I know.
1311
01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:18,454
But it's still sad
to see you go anyway.
1312
01:09:18,455 --> 01:09:19,722
Aww, it was fun.
1313
01:09:19,723 --> 01:09:21,390
Yeah.
1314
01:09:21,391 --> 01:09:23,807
Bye.
1315
01:09:27,296 --> 01:09:28,330
Have fun.
1316
01:09:28,331 --> 01:09:29,465
I'll miss your tuckus.
1317
01:09:29,466 --> 01:09:33,384
I'll miss yours too.
1318
01:09:37,206 --> 01:09:40,082
Maria.
1319
01:09:41,343 --> 01:09:43,646
VD, I need you to
focus, are you ready?
1320
01:09:43,647 --> 01:09:45,481
I was born ready.
1321
01:09:45,482 --> 01:09:49,618
Today is a good day to fly.
1322
01:09:49,619 --> 01:09:53,522
Today is a good day to fly.
1323
01:09:53,523 --> 01:09:54,590
Alright, here we go.
1324
01:09:54,591 --> 01:09:58,727
On three, two, one.
1325
01:09:58,728 --> 01:10:01,597
Oh, look I am Superman!
1326
01:10:01,598 --> 01:10:03,432
Ho ho!
1327
01:10:03,433 --> 01:10:07,803
And once again, I have saved
New York for the 47th time.
1328
01:10:07,804 --> 01:10:09,972
Ahh, wooo!
1329
01:10:09,973 --> 01:10:13,391
And I go woooooo....
1330
01:10:15,778 --> 01:10:19,013
Oh that's a nice rocket.
1331
01:10:19,014 --> 01:10:20,849
Director.
1332
01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:23,452
Director.
1333
01:10:23,453 --> 01:10:26,255
Now do I look like a fish?
1334
01:10:26,256 --> 01:10:28,257
Am I the fish?
1335
01:10:28,258 --> 01:10:32,384
Woo!
1336
01:10:35,297 --> 01:10:39,001
And now, I'm Super, not
yet I'm not Superman.
1337
01:10:44,807 --> 01:10:46,809
Oh, we got hung
behind the rocket.
1338
01:10:46,810 --> 01:10:48,911
Okay.
1339
01:10:48,912 --> 01:10:51,680
You think they
can keep hoisting him
1340
01:10:51,681 --> 01:10:52,948
right out of building?
1341
01:10:52,949 --> 01:10:54,316
Oh I think
they have something
1342
01:10:54,317 --> 01:10:56,652
even better than
even that planned.
1343
01:10:56,653 --> 01:10:59,922
Woo!
1344
01:10:59,923 --> 01:11:02,391
Whoa!
1345
01:11:02,392 --> 01:11:05,327
That was a little bit
too fast there, Mark.
1346
01:11:05,328 --> 01:11:09,898
I'm a-spinning like that
little thing with the horses,
1347
01:11:09,899 --> 01:11:12,034
the round one.
1348
01:11:12,035 --> 01:11:15,337
I, I think the balance is off.
1349
01:11:15,338 --> 01:11:17,806
I'm a-stuck-ed here.
1350
01:11:17,807 --> 01:11:19,642
Uh, let's take me down.
1351
01:11:19,643 --> 01:11:20,976
Hey, yeah we're on it VD.
1352
01:11:20,977 --> 01:11:21,844
Bring it down!
1353
01:11:21,845 --> 01:11:23,545
It's uncomfortable.
1354
01:11:23,546 --> 01:11:27,850
I don't, I don't feel so good.
1355
01:11:27,851 --> 01:11:30,386
Oh, I feel all sweaty.
1356
01:11:35,292 --> 01:11:37,626
I told Louie I
did not want the fish.
1357
01:11:37,627 --> 01:11:39,328
VD are you all right?
1358
01:11:39,329 --> 01:11:44,600
Okay I think I'm , I feel
better actually I'm Okay.
1359
01:11:44,601 --> 01:11:46,302
But get me down.
1360
01:11:48,071 --> 01:11:50,939
Oh God.
1361
01:11:50,940 --> 01:11:53,309
I don't feel so good.
1362
01:11:53,310 --> 01:11:56,845
Oh God, my arm
hurts, GET ME DOWN!
1363
01:11:56,846 --> 01:11:59,615
My arm!
1364
01:12:35,150 --> 01:12:36,885
Can we get him down?
1365
01:12:36,886 --> 01:12:38,821
VD, VD, here.
1366
01:12:38,822 --> 01:12:40,456
VD, talk to me.
1367
01:12:40,457 --> 01:12:41,623
Talk to me.
1368
01:12:41,624 --> 01:12:45,059
Get in here, come
on come on come on!
1369
01:12:45,060 --> 01:12:47,663
That was a puke smell.
1370
01:12:47,664 --> 01:12:49,565
I think I
know what it is.
1371
01:12:49,566 --> 01:12:50,733
What?
1372
01:12:50,734 --> 01:12:53,102
The uh, the
tattoo, the talons.
1373
01:12:53,103 --> 01:12:55,104
Yeah?
1374
01:12:55,105 --> 01:12:57,139
I think it's a
straight shot into his
1375
01:12:57,140 --> 01:12:58,774
subconscious, he knows.
1376
01:12:58,775 --> 01:13:00,175
What?
1377
01:13:00,176 --> 01:13:02,177
He knows that he
is controlled by his dick.
1378
01:13:02,178 --> 01:13:05,781
And his dick is controlled
by some winged thing
1379
01:13:05,782 --> 01:13:08,183
in the sky that he has
no control over, some
1380
01:13:08,184 --> 01:13:11,987
winged, whimsical beast
that has pulled him
1381
01:13:11,988 --> 01:13:15,824
and yanked him and the talons
are deep into his flesh,
1382
01:13:15,825 --> 01:13:19,128
and he can't control
it, and it's like he's
1383
01:13:19,129 --> 01:13:20,662
telling his dick that he knows.
1384
01:13:20,663 --> 01:13:22,664
It's a concession of sorts.
1385
01:13:22,665 --> 01:13:25,000
He's conceding to his dick.
1386
01:13:25,001 --> 01:13:26,969
He was blown out
of his mind and uh,
1387
01:13:26,970 --> 01:13:28,771
probably picked
the wrong picture.
1388
01:13:28,772 --> 01:13:30,539
No, he knows.
1389
01:13:30,540 --> 01:13:32,908
It's a recognition
of your own faults.
1390
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:35,144
You know it actually
takes a lot of, he may
1391
01:13:35,145 --> 01:13:36,812
have more insight than we think.
1392
01:13:36,813 --> 01:13:38,180
You know, God damn,
the tattoo, I like it.
1393
01:13:38,181 --> 01:13:40,082
Son of a bitch knows!
1394
01:13:40,083 --> 01:13:42,818
He knows!
1395
01:13:42,819 --> 01:13:44,052
Can I get a
gurney in here, please?
1396
01:13:44,053 --> 01:13:48,764
Let's go, move it in.
1397
01:13:51,994 --> 01:13:53,495
Here we go, here we go.
1398
01:13:53,496 --> 01:13:54,696
Get him off, get him off.
1399
01:13:54,697 --> 01:13:56,165
Let's go, let's go let's go!
1400
01:13:56,166 --> 01:13:59,901
How 'bout some help, Ivan!
1401
01:13:59,902 --> 01:14:00,901
We got it.
1402
01:14:13,916 --> 01:14:18,502
Clear!
1403
01:14:20,856 --> 01:14:24,193
Do you believe in karma?
1404
01:14:24,194 --> 01:14:26,462
Well, yeah, but it's
not often you get to see
1405
01:14:26,463 --> 01:14:31,033
the big wheel go all the
way around in one lifetime.
1406
01:14:31,034 --> 01:14:33,936
I know you're
liking his tattoo, but uh,
1407
01:14:33,937 --> 01:14:35,938
he shits on everybody.
1408
01:14:35,939 --> 01:14:42,484
His wife, his children, he
probably shits on his own dog.
1409
01:14:54,957 --> 01:14:57,259
Hey, don't wrap up!
1410
01:14:57,260 --> 01:14:59,161
This is not a wrap!
1411
01:14:59,162 --> 01:15:01,797
We will shoot the
scene with doubles.
1412
01:15:01,798 --> 01:15:02,865
Not today!
1413
01:15:02,866 --> 01:15:03,866
No no no!
1414
01:15:03,867 --> 01:15:05,100
Get his body off of here!
1415
01:15:05,101 --> 01:15:10,646
We are going to shoot
the scene with...
1416
01:15:11,740 --> 01:15:13,008
No!
1417
01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:14,643
Oh, now she says no.
1418
01:15:14,644 --> 01:15:16,545
NO!
1419
01:15:16,546 --> 01:15:20,615
NO!!!
1420
01:15:25,954 --> 01:15:28,090
What happen-ed?
1421
01:15:28,091 --> 01:15:34,263
I was, I was Peter Pan,
and I was doing the flying,
1422
01:15:34,264 --> 01:15:38,066
and I saw Neverland, and
Tinkerbell was calling,
1423
01:15:38,067 --> 01:15:44,113
and there was the
fippy-fippy thing.
1424
01:15:44,673 --> 01:15:47,709
God my mouth tastes like
shit, could I have some water?
1425
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:48,744
Water!
1426
01:15:48,745 --> 01:15:50,746
Louie's supplying it.
1427
01:15:50,747 --> 01:15:52,548
VD please,
just lay back down.
1428
01:15:52,549 --> 01:15:53,715
Oh thank you.
1429
01:15:53,716 --> 01:15:54,683
We gotta get
you to the hospital.
1430
01:15:54,684 --> 01:15:55,851
What?
1431
01:15:55,852 --> 01:15:56,885
We gotta get
you to the hospital.
1432
01:15:56,886 --> 01:15:58,687
We have a movie to make!
1433
01:15:58,688 --> 01:16:01,256
VD, you just
had a heart attack!
1434
01:16:01,257 --> 01:16:03,225
What?!
1435
01:16:03,226 --> 01:16:05,827
You had a heart attack.
1436
01:16:05,828 --> 01:16:08,597
Oh that is bullshit.
1437
01:16:16,705 --> 01:16:19,041
Whoa.
1438
01:16:19,042 --> 01:16:21,176
Sue?
1439
01:16:21,177 --> 01:16:23,011
Sue!
1440
01:16:23,012 --> 01:16:24,079
Okay.
1441
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:24,913
Alright.
1442
01:16:24,914 --> 01:16:27,849
Alright, to the trailer!
1443
01:16:31,154 --> 01:16:33,904
VD, we
must get this shot!
1444
01:16:37,192 --> 01:16:38,794
Does he
listen to anybody?
1445
01:16:38,795 --> 01:16:41,663
No.
1446
01:16:54,843 --> 01:16:58,179
It's working!
1447
01:17:05,888 --> 01:17:11,976
�1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky
1448
01:17:56,338 --> 01:17:58,306
Starring
in the next movie
1449
01:17:58,307 --> 01:18:01,342
that I make, Salma Hayek.
1450
01:18:03,346 --> 01:18:04,279
Adios!
1451
01:18:04,280 --> 01:18:08,949
Salma, call me!
1452
01:18:09,217 --> 01:18:11,720
Yes, Mr.
Duseldorfer directed much
1453
01:18:11,721 --> 01:18:13,355
of what you will
see tonight, plus
1454
01:18:13,356 --> 01:18:18,260
he will direct the sequel,
Hardest Time on Mars.
1455
01:18:18,261 --> 01:18:19,861
Starting next month.
1456
01:18:19,862 --> 01:18:21,196
He is a natural.
1457
01:18:21,197 --> 01:18:24,299
Behind and in front,
oh.
1458
01:18:34,209 --> 01:18:37,837
Vardell, Vardell!
1459
01:18:38,914 --> 01:18:41,832
VD,
tell us about rehab.
1460
01:18:41,917 --> 01:18:44,668
VD, are you single?
1461
01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:53,395
You stay up all night
thinking of that questions,
1462
01:18:53,396 --> 01:18:56,364
huh, you you you you, you
go to many colleges, huh
1463
01:18:56,365 --> 01:18:59,801
to uh, think up questions
like that to ask in front
1464
01:18:59,802 --> 01:19:05,173
of a man with a
wife and a family?
1465
01:19:05,174 --> 01:19:08,043
I tell you this, we make movies.
1466
01:19:08,044 --> 01:19:09,444
Yes.
1467
01:19:09,445 --> 01:19:10,979
You make
great ones, Vardell!
1468
01:19:10,980 --> 01:19:12,547
You, you you you make
opinions, which is like
1469
01:19:12,548 --> 01:19:16,351
that, that that joke, that
everyone has one of huh?
1470
01:19:16,352 --> 01:19:21,388
You use that to make
a questions, too?
1471
01:19:21,389 --> 01:19:24,059
I tell you this, Mr.
Reporter, your words
1472
01:19:24,060 --> 01:19:29,331
they will be read for a
few day, Hard Time on Mars
1473
01:19:29,332 --> 01:19:31,233
will be watched forever!
1474
01:19:45,080 --> 01:19:47,149
I thought one of
you geniuses would uh,
1475
01:19:47,150 --> 01:19:53,788
ask me about rehab, so I
prepared a little answer.
1476
01:19:53,789 --> 01:19:56,858
I tell you this.
1477
01:19:56,859 --> 01:20:02,798
Re, re, re-rehab, it's a
little embarrassing but
1478
01:20:02,799 --> 01:20:08,904
like pie in the face, it's
a part of show business!
1479
01:20:08,905 --> 01:20:10,071
Ha ha!
1480
01:20:10,072 --> 01:20:13,073
All part
of show business!
1481
01:20:48,376 --> 01:20:50,579
Sir Jeffrey, stick
with me, we just became
1482
01:20:50,580 --> 01:20:52,247
the photo op of the week.
1483
01:20:52,248 --> 01:20:53,648
Oh!
1484
01:20:53,649 --> 01:20:56,952
You think I left rehab
three times to get high?
1485
01:20:56,953 --> 01:21:00,954
Every time it made
the front page!
1486
01:21:04,259 --> 01:21:09,763
Tell your lazy ass agent
to send me a thank you.
1487
01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:11,166
Are you ready to do this?
1488
01:21:11,167 --> 01:21:12,400
Oh yes, all right.
1489
01:21:12,401 --> 01:21:13,535
Okay.
1490
01:21:13,536 --> 01:21:15,070
Ready?
1491
01:21:15,071 --> 01:21:18,340
Three, two, one.
1492
01:21:25,180 --> 01:21:26,514
Oh there you are.
1493
01:21:26,515 --> 01:21:32,086
That's how we did
Hard Time on Mars.
1494
01:21:55,911 --> 01:22:00,455
Hard Time on Mars!
1495
01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:06,295
� Hard Time on Mars by
Gooding and Brian Thompson�
1496
01:23:29,671 --> 01:23:33,108
VD, it's pie in face,
it's part of show business.
1497
01:23:33,109 --> 01:23:35,777
It's pie in face, it's
part of show business.
1498
01:23:44,019 --> 01:23:46,254
I , I don't know
what to say I'm...
1499
01:23:46,255 --> 01:23:52,593
I'm really very moved.
1500
01:23:54,562 --> 01:23:57,799
The Greek salad
olives and tomatoes.
1501
01:24:02,537 --> 01:24:06,623
Boss says you
should come wit' us.
1502
01:24:22,357 --> 01:24:27,194
Hey Poncho, suck on this.
1503
01:24:27,195 --> 01:24:31,266
Hey you come to my restaurant,
I get the best domates,
1504
01:24:31,267 --> 01:24:34,202
tzatziki, salad, you
come with me, come on.
106116
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