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1
00:00:02,610 --> 00:00:04,320
Are you liking
the thin menu?
2
00:00:04,321 --> 00:00:05,623
I am loving it.
3
00:00:05,658 --> 00:00:07,868
Six almonds keeps me full
for hours.
4
00:00:07,870 --> 00:00:09,670
- Sometimes when I have
six almonds,
5
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,376
I feel like I had 12 almonds.
6
00:00:11,377 --> 00:00:13,007
- You're cool with going out
the back again, right?
7
00:00:13,042 --> 00:00:14,876
- Um...yeah.
8
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,185
You know what?
9
00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:18,220
I was just trying to help you,
you fat bitch.
10
00:00:18,224 --> 00:00:21,064
- Annie, please go away.
You're a vital and tiny cog.
11
00:00:21,099 --> 00:00:22,740
- Men do not
tell me what to do.
12
00:00:22,775 --> 00:00:24,235
- 'Cause I'm the one
with the fat ass
13
00:00:24,236 --> 00:00:26,826
and the big titties,
so I get to decide what we do.
14
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,615
- I want you to be
my girlfriend.
15
00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:29,830
- Okay.
16
00:00:29,831 --> 00:00:30,881
I don't know. I feel
17
00:00:30,916 --> 00:00:32,376
very fucking powerful
right now.
18
00:00:32,377 --> 00:00:34,757
At that even today,
there were so many people
19
00:00:34,758 --> 00:00:37,048
living in their bodies
and enjoying their life,
20
00:00:37,054 --> 00:00:39,224
and that shit was
un-fuckin'- believable.
21
00:00:39,259 --> 00:00:41,104
You cheat on every woman
you date.
22
00:00:41,139 --> 00:00:42,193
You're basically
23
00:00:42,228 --> 00:00:43,269
the female Ryan.
24
00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:46,114
Well, maybe just
take care of yourself.
25
00:00:46,149 --> 00:00:47,345
- Hello?
26
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,582
Hey, Vera.
27
00:00:48,617 --> 00:00:49,785
Vancouver?
28
00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,118
What do you think
you're doing?
29
00:00:51,123 --> 00:00:52,508
Seems like you think
this is your paper.
30
00:00:52,543 --> 00:00:54,133
I don't really get
what you're upset about.
31
00:00:54,168 --> 00:00:55,629
- You know, I think this
is gonna end badly
32
00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:57,013
unless you just walk away
right now.
33
00:00:57,048 --> 00:00:58,260
- I'm serious. I quit.
34
00:00:58,262 --> 00:01:00,602
19,000 people clicked on it.
35
00:01:00,637 --> 00:01:01,902
Holy hell.
36
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,822
You've found the location
of my troll.
37
00:01:03,857 --> 00:01:05,857
- What are you doing here?
- You're the monster
38
00:01:05,861 --> 00:01:07,701
who's been torturing me
every day.
39
00:01:07,736 --> 00:01:08,949
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
40
00:01:08,951 --> 00:01:11,081
- Hey, get the fuck
out of here!
41
00:01:11,116 --> 00:01:12,370
Fuck you!
42
00:01:12,374 --> 00:01:15,094
You better run, you fat bitch!
43
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,150
- What button do I press
to make the dinosaur
44
00:01:44,185 --> 00:01:45,436
eat your head?
- Fuck you,
45
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,440
I'm not telling you that.
46
00:01:48,196 --> 00:01:49,656
- Would you go in
your fucking room?
47
00:01:49,657 --> 00:01:51,947
You're gonna get us all sick.
- No.
48
00:01:51,953 --> 00:01:54,753
My window's stuck open,
and bugs are rushing in.
49
00:01:54,788 --> 00:01:56,961
- I'm a fucking bitch,
and I love it.
50
00:02:06,608 --> 00:02:07,688
- What happened?
Are you okay?
51
00:02:07,693 --> 00:02:09,992
- Yeah, I'm good.
I'm really fuckin' good.
52
00:02:10,027 --> 00:02:12,196
I'm maybe the best
I've ever been in my life.
53
00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:14,365
I found the guy
who's been trolling me online,
54
00:02:14,373 --> 00:02:15,591
and I told him to fuck off.
55
00:02:15,626 --> 00:02:17,706
And then I threw
a cement flower pot
56
00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:18,902
right through his car window,
57
00:02:18,937 --> 00:02:20,092
and he was so fucking mad!
58
00:02:21,095 --> 00:02:22,555
Shut the fuck up, Mike!
59
00:02:22,557 --> 00:02:24,137
Go ahead, Annie.
- And then I was running
60
00:02:24,142 --> 00:02:26,153
and he was chasing me
and he was screaming
61
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:28,478
and I ran all the way from
the fancy neighborhood here,
62
00:02:28,484 --> 00:02:29,494
and I never run.
63
00:02:29,529 --> 00:02:31,279
But I ran for so long.
64
00:02:31,282 --> 00:02:32,457
And right now, honestly,
65
00:02:32,492 --> 00:02:34,640
I feel like I could
fucking run forever.
66
00:02:34,675 --> 00:02:36,789
Like, I feel insane
and amazing right now.
67
00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:38,720
Fuck...yeah!
68
00:02:38,755 --> 00:02:40,675
- That is the coolest thing
I have ever heard anybody do.
69
00:02:41,887 --> 00:02:43,637
- Shut the fuck up!
- I can't help it!
70
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,390
- Hey, do not hold back
a sneeze
71
00:02:45,393 --> 00:02:46,820
That is how my uncle
lost his eye.
72
00:02:46,855 --> 00:02:48,145
- Wait, wait, did you--
you're bleeding?
73
00:02:48,149 --> 00:02:50,109
Like, are you having
your period?
74
00:02:50,111 --> 00:02:52,031
- No, no. I cut my hand
75
00:02:52,032 --> 00:02:54,492
when I smashed
that fucking flower pot.
76
00:02:54,494 --> 00:02:56,124
- That means you left your DNA
at the scene.
77
00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:57,633
- Yeah, but he already knows
who I am.
78
00:02:57,668 --> 00:02:59,127
- Then he might be after you.
79
00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:00,263
- I mean, maybe.
80
00:03:00,298 --> 00:03:02,236
I think I lost him
when I was running,
81
00:03:02,271 --> 00:03:04,175
but I mean,
I did smash his car and--
82
00:03:04,181 --> 00:03:05,746
and he did threaten to kill me
83
00:03:05,781 --> 00:03:07,311
like, a thousand times
online.
84
00:03:09,727 --> 00:03:10,910
Fuck.
85
00:03:10,945 --> 00:03:12,655
I kinda think
we should leave town.
86
00:03:12,657 --> 00:03:15,447
- Fuckin' definitely, yes.
- Yeah.
87
00:03:15,453 --> 00:03:17,543
- I packed a go bag
for just this occasion.
88
00:03:17,578 --> 00:03:18,634
Shit!
89
00:03:18,669 --> 00:03:20,548
- And finally,
it's time for this.
90
00:03:20,583 --> 00:03:22,419
What the fuck?
91
00:03:22,454 --> 00:03:24,255
- Fuck! Do you even know
how to use that?
92
00:03:24,262 --> 00:03:25,606
- No, but if I need to,
93
00:03:25,641 --> 00:03:27,561
my animal instincts
will kick in.
94
00:03:27,596 --> 00:03:29,062
We gotta go!
95
00:03:29,097 --> 00:03:30,491
Aw, fuck!
96
00:03:30,526 --> 00:03:32,026
I don't have my mom's car.
97
00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:33,488
- Wait...
98
00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:34,832
I have my mom's car.
99
00:03:38,625 --> 00:03:40,625
- This place is perfect.
It's real remote.
100
00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:42,625
We used to go there
when I was in the Scouts,
101
00:03:42,633 --> 00:03:44,267
and there was
never anybody there.
102
00:03:44,302 --> 00:03:46,642
- I mean, we're doing
the right thing right?
103
00:03:46,677 --> 00:03:48,101
Like, leaving town?
104
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:49,812
I just--
you know, I quit my job
105
00:03:49,814 --> 00:03:51,616
and now we're going camping.
106
00:03:51,651 --> 00:03:54,162
Is this insane?
- No, it's not insane.
107
00:03:54,197 --> 00:03:56,447
No, no, no. We're doing
the right thing, okay?
108
00:03:56,452 --> 00:03:57,912
You're not running
away from anything.
109
00:03:57,913 --> 00:03:59,464
You're running
towards yourself.
110
00:03:59,499 --> 00:04:01,759
- Yeah, exactly.
I mean, it actually feels,
111
00:04:01,794 --> 00:04:04,965
like, very, very good
to be, you know,
112
00:04:04,969 --> 00:04:08,939
a little bit fuckin' bad.
- Yes! That's what I'm saying.
113
00:04:08,974 --> 00:04:10,265
- Wait a minute.
- What?
114
00:04:10,271 --> 00:04:13,361
- My God.
The ultimate.
115
00:04:13,396 --> 00:04:16,030
Hold on.
116
00:04:17,078 --> 00:04:18,670
- Perfect.
117
00:04:35,781 --> 00:04:37,165
Yes!
118
00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:12,667
- Pete's mom had all
this stuff in the car.
119
00:05:12,702 --> 00:05:15,259
You think it's okay
if I wear it, right?
120
00:05:15,294 --> 00:05:17,817
- Yeah. You look way better
than Mrs. Liu.
121
00:05:17,823 --> 00:05:20,623
- Aw, I love a compliment
that's mean to a mom.
122
00:05:21,831 --> 00:05:23,604
- All right, there you go.
123
00:05:23,639 --> 00:05:25,377
Welcome to your new home.
124
00:05:25,379 --> 00:05:28,469
- Wow. So this is
where we're gonna sleep.
125
00:05:28,504 --> 00:05:30,761
But then, does a tent
go around this?
126
00:05:30,796 --> 00:05:33,018
- No.
No tents when you're camping.
127
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:36,440
That's why when you lie down,
you can see the stars.
128
00:05:36,443 --> 00:05:39,163
- That's actually
a really good answer.
129
00:05:39,198 --> 00:05:40,407
All right,
130
00:05:40,409 --> 00:05:44,169
let's see what we got here.
131
00:05:44,204 --> 00:05:45,761
- Wait a second.
132
00:05:45,796 --> 00:05:48,046
I thought I packed
more food than this.
133
00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:51,555
I can use the gun
and go shoot a raccoon.
134
00:05:51,557 --> 00:05:55,397
- No, I'm--
I'm actually very content.
135
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,698
So-- but is there, like,
a bathroom
136
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,277
or an outhouse or something?
137
00:06:00,283 --> 00:06:02,253
- Yeah, there's an outhouse.
138
00:06:02,288 --> 00:06:04,415
All of this. Nature.
139
00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:06,456
Just go out in the
woods a little bit.
140
00:06:06,461 --> 00:06:08,421
- I don't know.
141
00:06:08,424 --> 00:06:10,351
It looks kinda scary.
142
00:06:10,386 --> 00:06:13,016
Um, can I just go
right here?
143
00:06:13,017 --> 00:06:14,307
I don't think
that's a good idea.
144
00:06:14,311 --> 00:06:15,731
It's the middle
of our new home.
145
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,073
- Yeah, I'm--
146
00:06:17,108 --> 00:06:21,028
I'm not going out
in those woods alone, so--
147
00:06:28,005 --> 00:06:32,465
I, I don't think I can pee
with you this close to me.
148
00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:34,483
I can go back.
- No, no.
149
00:06:34,518 --> 00:06:37,518
Don't-- don't go.
Just stay here.
150
00:06:37,524 --> 00:06:39,194
- What if I just pee here
with you?
151
00:06:39,229 --> 00:06:41,622
- Ew.
152
00:06:47,085 --> 00:06:50,215
It's working.
153
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:14,325
Where the fuck is she?
154
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:21,573
- I never thought
I'd be with someone like you.
155
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,988
- Thank you?
156
00:07:24,023 --> 00:07:26,368
I think.
157
00:07:26,371 --> 00:07:29,421
- I mean someone
who speaks their mind.
158
00:07:29,456 --> 00:07:34,139
Like, my dad could be
such a dick.
159
00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:37,307
Especially to my mom.
160
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:40,270
And she never said anything.
161
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:45,331
But you're not like that.
162
00:07:45,366 --> 00:07:47,866
You push back.
163
00:07:47,873 --> 00:07:51,633
- Yeah, but pushing back
is really hard.
164
00:07:51,668 --> 00:07:55,301
I mean, I never used to do it.
165
00:07:55,304 --> 00:07:59,404
But then, I guess I just got
to a point where, like,
166
00:07:59,439 --> 00:08:01,895
it was harder
not to say something.
167
00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:03,991
You know?
Like, even with you.
168
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:09,170
- But then you got a lot better
at appreciating me,
169
00:08:09,205 --> 00:08:12,545
which is a big deal.
170
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:18,595
- I always appreciated you.
171
00:08:18,601 --> 00:08:22,151
I was just too much
of a dumbass to say it.
172
00:08:25,114 --> 00:08:27,794
But it wasn't just you,
it was...
173
00:08:27,829 --> 00:08:30,286
everyone.
174
00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:33,301
I guess that's why I never had
a real girlfriend before you.
175
00:08:33,336 --> 00:08:36,047
- What? I don't believe that.
176
00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:39,770
- I feel like when I met you,
your whole deal was like
177
00:08:39,805 --> 00:08:43,491
you might fuck anyone
at any time.
178
00:08:43,526 --> 00:08:47,236
- Well, I did drop a lot
of dick around town.
179
00:08:47,241 --> 00:08:50,041
- My God.
- But I've never, like,
180
00:08:50,076 --> 00:08:52,789
gone all of the way in--
181
00:08:52,794 --> 00:08:56,349
like, emotions and stuff.
182
00:08:56,384 --> 00:08:58,814
Yeah, you're my first
real girlfriend.
183
00:09:03,858 --> 00:09:04,992
- Okay.
184
00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:06,947
Can I tell you
something honestly?
185
00:09:08,993 --> 00:09:12,423
- You're my first
real boyfriend.
186
00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:15,046
- No fuckin' way.
- Yeah.
187
00:09:15,047 --> 00:09:17,717
Yeah, I mean,
I would hook up with people
188
00:09:17,719 --> 00:09:22,139
and have big,
189
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:27,494
debilitatingly painful
crushes on people, but...
190
00:09:27,529 --> 00:09:30,710
never anything else.
191
00:09:30,745 --> 00:09:33,875
I mean, I--
I didn't wanna get rejected,
192
00:09:33,876 --> 00:09:37,426
so I just took
what I could get.
193
00:09:37,461 --> 00:09:40,008
- Annie.
194
00:10:05,607 --> 00:10:08,397
Morning.
- Hi.
195
00:10:12,996 --> 00:10:15,416
Let me go down on you.
- What?
196
00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:18,667
No. My God.
197
00:10:18,674 --> 00:10:21,681
I slept in my clothes,
I haven't showered.
198
00:10:21,716 --> 00:10:24,306
I have, like, a full,
two-day pussy right now.
199
00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:26,896
Like, I feel like
I won't be able to enjoy it.
200
00:10:26,899 --> 00:10:29,569
Like, I'll be in my head.
201
00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:32,701
- I have, like,
a four-day dick right now.
202
00:10:32,702 --> 00:10:35,876
I honestly don't care.
203
00:10:35,911 --> 00:10:39,050
I'd just really, really
appreciate it
204
00:10:39,085 --> 00:10:40,390
if you'd let me.
- Okay,
205
00:10:40,425 --> 00:10:43,135
out here in the open?
- Yeah.
206
00:10:43,139 --> 00:10:45,309
Definitely.
207
00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:46,570
- Okay.
208
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,950
Yeah.
209
00:10:48,985 --> 00:10:51,485
You sure?
- Yeah.
210
00:11:11,614 --> 00:11:14,374
- Wait. Ryan.
Someone's coming.
211
00:11:14,409 --> 00:11:15,828
- You are?
- No, no, no.
212
00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:18,091
Look, kids.
- Fuck!
213
00:11:19,253 --> 00:11:22,183
- My God.
214
00:11:22,218 --> 00:11:23,506
- Come on!
- I'm going.
215
00:11:23,512 --> 00:11:26,892
My God.
216
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:30,154
Hey, before we wrap up,
I'd like to say something.
217
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:33,280
I know many of you witnessed
the scene yesterday
218
00:11:33,281 --> 00:11:34,833
when Annie stormed out of here
219
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:38,458
like she was my hormonal
teenage daughter.
220
00:11:38,493 --> 00:11:41,513
- But she's not.
That's me.
221
00:11:41,548 --> 00:11:45,848
- May I remind you that despite
the fracture that occurred,
222
00:11:45,883 --> 00:11:50,608
that we remain a team
here at "The Thorn."
223
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,608
- Yes, and that is why
I have decided
224
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,330
to quit too, Gabe.
225
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,945
Out of solidarity with Annie,
226
00:11:56,954 --> 00:11:59,884
I feel that I cannot
stand idly by.
227
00:12:02,632 --> 00:12:06,522
Sorry.
I'm stupid. I'm bad.
228
00:12:06,557 --> 00:12:08,937
- As I was saying,
this kind of entitled,
229
00:12:08,972 --> 00:12:10,766
narcissistic
me, me, me, behavior
230
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:13,076
will not be tolerated here
anymore.
231
00:12:13,111 --> 00:12:15,031
- Okay, well, I think
that that might've been
232
00:12:15,032 --> 00:12:17,242
a little bit of
a breakdown in communication.
233
00:12:17,244 --> 00:12:18,464
- Nobody was really innocent--
- I--
234
00:12:18,499 --> 00:12:20,495
I don't think I finished.
235
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,470
There's no excuse
for this kind of outburst,
236
00:12:23,505 --> 00:12:25,335
for the kind
that Annie perpetrated
237
00:12:25,343 --> 00:12:28,393
upon our safe,
nurturing workplace, okay?
238
00:12:28,428 --> 00:12:31,821
From now on,
no more dramatic exits.
239
00:12:37,827 --> 00:12:39,157
- Cool.
240
00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:41,043
Lovin' this new supportive
work environment, right?
241
00:12:41,078 --> 00:12:43,504
- Yeah,
I think it is kinda cool.
242
00:12:43,539 --> 00:12:45,931
- Were you at
that fuckin' meeting?
243
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,757
- Yeah, man.
It was great.
244
00:12:47,764 --> 00:12:50,564
You know, I loved Annie,
but you know, she was cliquey.
245
00:12:50,599 --> 00:12:51,695
Man, you know what?
246
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,270
She's gone right now,
so it's cool.
247
00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:56,454
Maybe that means
that you and I can get closer.
248
00:12:56,489 --> 00:12:58,487
So...
249
00:12:58,493 --> 00:13:00,630
wanna grab a bite later?
250
00:13:00,665 --> 00:13:03,415
- I wish I could,
but I gotta--
251
00:13:03,419 --> 00:13:04,419
Which way you heading?
252
00:13:04,421 --> 00:13:06,091
- Well, I'm--
253
00:13:06,092 --> 00:13:07,342
- You heading that way?
- Yeah.
254
00:13:07,344 --> 00:13:08,434
- I gotta go this way.
- So you're gonna--
255
00:13:08,469 --> 00:13:09,429
I'll cross.
- I wish I could, though.
256
00:13:09,431 --> 00:13:10,431
- Right.
257
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:14,658
Hey.
Thanks again
258
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:16,663
for letting me
use your charger, Stephanie.
259
00:13:16,698 --> 00:13:19,250
This is very cool of you.
260
00:13:19,285 --> 00:13:21,575
- You didn't really
give me much of a choice.
261
00:13:21,582 --> 00:13:24,962
- Yeah, I know that,
but I'm thanking you now, so...
262
00:13:24,963 --> 00:13:27,182
kinda evens out, right?
263
00:13:27,217 --> 00:13:29,507
- Man, I hope I didn't
leave that gun at the campsite.
264
00:13:29,514 --> 00:13:31,394
Kids might take it.
265
00:13:31,429 --> 00:13:32,777
No, no, no.
266
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,482
Hey, I don't have my gun.
267
00:13:35,483 --> 00:13:37,663
- Wait, shh.
- Hey, honey. It's Dad.
268
00:13:37,698 --> 00:13:39,235
So weird turn of events here.
269
00:13:39,241 --> 00:13:40,491
Mom went to Vancouver,
270
00:13:40,493 --> 00:13:41,913
and she didn't tell me why.
271
00:13:41,914 --> 00:13:43,254
Just wondering
if you'd talked to her.
272
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:46,220
- Vancouver.
273
00:13:46,255 --> 00:13:47,925
Honey, it's been
a couple hours.
274
00:13:47,926 --> 00:13:50,136
I still haven't
heard from her or you.
275
00:13:50,138 --> 00:13:52,228
I get a little worried
when I can't find my girls.
276
00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:53,345
Call me back.
277
00:13:53,353 --> 00:13:54,821
- My God. Okay.
278
00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:56,026
We have to leave right now.
279
00:13:56,061 --> 00:13:57,945
Um, I'm very sorry.
280
00:13:57,946 --> 00:14:00,946
I'm normally a clean woman,
okay?
281
00:14:00,952 --> 00:14:05,422
But, um, sir, and ma'am,
and small sir and Stephanie,
282
00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:07,838
my boyfriend and I
are gonna leave right now.
283
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,760
- He's your boyfriend?
284
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,471
- Her very first boyfriend.
285
00:14:11,472 --> 00:14:14,812
- Yeah, but Stephanie,
I've-- I've dated before.
286
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:18,403
Ad-- additionally,
I've also had sex.
287
00:14:18,438 --> 00:14:20,163
Bye.
288
00:14:20,198 --> 00:14:21,278
Excuse me.
289
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:24,620
- There it is.
290
00:14:24,624 --> 00:14:25,591
- God damn it.
291
00:14:25,626 --> 00:14:27,546
Why is my dad not picking up?
292
00:14:27,547 --> 00:14:29,087
- It's gonna be okay, Annie.
293
00:14:29,091 --> 00:14:30,726
- I-- I feel like I caused this
294
00:14:30,761 --> 00:14:32,681
because I told my mom
to take care of herself
295
00:14:32,682 --> 00:14:34,892
or whatever, and all I meant
was just take a bath.
296
00:14:34,894 --> 00:14:36,864
- No, look, we're gonna
be home in, like an hour.
297
00:14:36,899 --> 00:14:39,067
We'll figure it out.
298
00:14:39,069 --> 00:14:42,750
I got a voicemail.
299
00:14:42,785 --> 00:14:44,905
Hey Ryan,
you're a total fuckhead idiot.
300
00:14:44,914 --> 00:14:48,764
You missed another shift.
You're fucking fired.
301
00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:51,926
- Shit.
- No. I'm sorry.
302
00:14:51,928 --> 00:14:53,981
See, like, I feel like
this is all my fault.
303
00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:57,146
- No, it's okay. We're gonna be
unemployed together,
304
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:58,741
which is romantic.
305
00:14:58,776 --> 00:15:02,026
- God, why is this guy
going 20 in a 40 zone?
306
00:15:02,032 --> 00:15:05,015
Fucking go, you big white bus
piece of shit!
307
00:15:05,050 --> 00:15:07,998
I will ram you down
to fucking hell! Fuck!
308
00:15:11,008 --> 00:15:12,048
Jesus.
309
00:15:12,052 --> 00:15:13,227
- Hi, Amadi.
310
00:15:13,262 --> 00:15:15,892
I was thinking
now that Annie's gone
311
00:15:15,893 --> 00:15:18,693
that you probably need
a new work wife now.
312
00:15:18,728 --> 00:15:20,732
And I was thinking
313
00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:22,736
that maybe
that could be me.
314
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:24,041
- What?
- Come on,
315
00:15:24,076 --> 00:15:26,206
we could do really fun
work wife stuff together.
316
00:15:26,241 --> 00:15:28,125
Like, we could throw
a pigskin around.
317
00:15:28,126 --> 00:15:29,876
Or we could talk crap.
318
00:15:29,879 --> 00:15:32,339
Or, um, I could get you porn.
319
00:15:32,342 --> 00:15:33,936
Or you could help me
ride a bike.
320
00:15:33,971 --> 00:15:35,773
- Okay, that sounds awesome,
all of that.
321
00:15:35,808 --> 00:15:38,518
But I got a wife right now.
I'm pretty wifed up.
322
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,754
- Then-- well,
it's not up to you.
323
00:15:40,789 --> 00:15:42,986
'Cause I'm your work wife now.
Fuck.
324
00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:45,659
- Then why'd you even ask?
- Because I'm polite.
325
00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:47,621
And just so you know,
Gabe asked me
326
00:15:47,623 --> 00:15:50,093
to send you to his office,
like, 20 minutes ago.
327
00:15:50,128 --> 00:15:51,166
He's been waiting
this whole time.
328
00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:53,934
He's gonna be
so, so, so pissed
329
00:15:53,969 --> 00:15:56,773
when he sees you.
- Okay, thanks, Ruthie.
330
00:15:56,808 --> 00:15:59,478
- Yeah, it's nice to be married
in the office now.
331
00:15:59,479 --> 00:16:01,609
Right, Daddy?
Yeah, you're my dad.
332
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:03,910
'Cause I view husbands as dads.
333
00:16:03,945 --> 00:16:05,156
- That's nasty.
334
00:16:08,999 --> 00:16:12,379
- Hey, Gabe. Um, I wanted
to say that I'm sorry
335
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:13,682
for leaving when Annie quit.
336
00:16:13,717 --> 00:16:16,007
- Relax, Amadi.
That's not what this is about.
337
00:16:16,013 --> 00:16:18,901
- What's up
338
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:23,186
- Amadi...do people like me?
339
00:16:24,404 --> 00:16:27,544
- What-- what people?
- People in the office.
340
00:16:27,579 --> 00:16:29,747
- Am I liked?
341
00:16:29,782 --> 00:16:31,916
- Yeah.
- What?
342
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,550
- Yes. Yes, you are.
- I don't believe you.
343
00:16:34,585 --> 00:16:36,180
- It's true.
- You're lying.
344
00:16:36,215 --> 00:16:37,312
There's a change.
345
00:16:37,347 --> 00:16:39,097
People are very cold
to me right now.
346
00:16:39,101 --> 00:16:41,271
You know, this morning
I asked Angus
347
00:16:41,272 --> 00:16:42,782
if he wanted to jam
on the bass,
348
00:16:42,817 --> 00:16:44,735
and you know what he did?
349
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,330
He was like--
350
00:16:46,365 --> 00:16:47,735
- yeah, well,
people are still freaked out
351
00:16:47,743 --> 00:16:48,794
about the whole Annie thing.
352
00:16:48,829 --> 00:16:50,171
- When did this job
get so hard?
353
00:16:50,206 --> 00:16:52,456
I used to be Annie.
I used to be the disruptor.
354
00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:54,674
And now what am I?
The big, gay money man,
355
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,889
you know, bulldozing
the community center
356
00:16:56,924 --> 00:16:58,806
for his personal golf course?
357
00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:00,137
- Well, that's being the boss.
358
00:17:00,143 --> 00:17:02,153
You gotta be the good cop
and the bad cop.
359
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,607
- I don't wanna--
360
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:07,200
I don't wanna be bad cop.
361
00:17:09,912 --> 00:17:11,046
- What?
362
00:17:11,081 --> 00:17:13,251
- I have just decided
to promote you.
363
00:17:13,252 --> 00:17:15,096
- Wh-- really? To what?
364
00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:18,051
- To managing
executive director of whatever.
365
00:17:18,054 --> 00:17:20,189
It doesn't matter.
- Is this real?
366
00:17:20,224 --> 00:17:23,530
- This is real.
I'm gonna give you a raise,
367
00:17:23,565 --> 00:17:25,895
and you're gonna spend it
on your loud, blonde wife
368
00:17:25,903 --> 00:17:27,454
and beautiful sons.
- Daughters.
369
00:17:27,489 --> 00:17:29,909
- Congratulations.
And you are going to be
370
00:17:29,911 --> 00:17:32,590
day-to-day management.
371
00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:34,955
You're gonna handle
hiring and firing,
372
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:36,882
nickeling and fuckin' diming.
373
00:17:36,883 --> 00:17:40,788
Freeing me up
for my natural role
374
00:17:40,823 --> 00:17:44,656
as creative iconoclast dreamer.
375
00:17:44,691 --> 00:17:47,108
- Shit, I--
I don't know what to say, Gabe.
376
00:17:47,143 --> 00:17:49,526
I-- thank you
- You know they used to call me
377
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,584
the Original Prince
of the Gutter Punks.
378
00:17:51,619 --> 00:17:52,829
- I didn't know that, but yeah,
379
00:17:52,832 --> 00:17:54,857
that-- that-- that feels real.
380
00:17:54,892 --> 00:17:56,846
- Yeah!
- Yeah. This is sick.
381
00:17:56,881 --> 00:17:58,841
Shit, we're gonna make
a great team.
382
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,348
- All right.
- All right.
383
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:01,826
- All right!
- Paper, I win.
384
00:18:01,861 --> 00:18:03,234
Look at that.
- Paper over rock.
385
00:18:03,269 --> 00:18:04,979
- Yeah.
- You win. You're the man now.
386
00:18:04,981 --> 00:18:06,991
- I hate that term,
but I love money, baby.
387
00:18:18,424 --> 00:18:20,268
- Ron?
- Annie!
388
00:18:20,303 --> 00:18:21,813
What the shit?
389
00:18:21,848 --> 00:18:24,098
- Mr. Easton, I'm a huge fan
of your daughter.
390
00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:25,571
- No, this is not my dad.
391
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,856
This is Ron,
my dad's jazz friend.
392
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,030
- Where is my dad?
- Hey, Annie,
393
00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:30,831
long time, no see.
394
00:18:30,866 --> 00:18:32,536
Hey, wait, wait.
Can I hug you,
395
00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:33,576
or are you gonna Me Too me?
396
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:34,870
- Yeah.
- Come on,
397
00:18:34,874 --> 00:18:36,898
let's hook up the hog.
- Okay. Okay.
398
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:38,922
- Hey, I'm heating up
some thin menus,
399
00:18:38,924 --> 00:18:40,476
you guys hungry?
- No, no.
400
00:18:40,511 --> 00:18:42,061
I just-- I'm looking for my dad.
- All right.
401
00:18:42,096 --> 00:18:43,515
- Dad?
- Here.
402
00:18:43,517 --> 00:18:48,067
- Dad, what is happening?
- Holy shit. Annie.
403
00:18:48,102 --> 00:18:49,437
Finally.
404
00:18:49,444 --> 00:18:51,242
I called you over and over.
- I-- I know.
405
00:18:51,277 --> 00:18:53,000
I'm sorry,
and I did get your messages.
406
00:18:53,035 --> 00:18:54,955
And I tried to call you.
- Well, not hard enough.
407
00:18:54,956 --> 00:18:57,376
Jesus Christ. You've scared
the shit out of me.
408
00:18:57,377 --> 00:18:58,587
- Okay, I'm sorry.
409
00:18:58,588 --> 00:19:01,027
So Mom went to Vancouver?
Did she say why?
410
00:19:01,062 --> 00:19:03,466
- No, she just--
she just said she's gone.
411
00:19:03,472 --> 00:19:05,892
- That's insane. I don't--
412
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,278
And why is Ron here?
413
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:10,153
- Well, Ron is here because
Ron answers his telephone.
414
00:19:10,188 --> 00:19:12,247
- Okay.
- My God.
415
00:19:12,282 --> 00:19:13,667
- Fran?
- Yeah, we got Fran
416
00:19:13,702 --> 00:19:15,461
hangin' with us.
- Yeah, Fran's hanging
417
00:19:15,496 --> 00:19:17,496
because your dad called me
and didn't know where you were
418
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,261
and we thought
you were murdered,
419
00:19:19,296 --> 00:19:21,466
but thank God you're alive
and just inconsiderate.
420
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:24,966
- I'm sorry.
We didn't have any service.
421
00:19:24,974 --> 00:19:26,609
- We.
- Yeah--
422
00:19:26,644 --> 00:19:28,864
- Who are you?
Am I completely out of the loop
423
00:19:28,899 --> 00:19:30,607
on every God damn thing
in this family?
424
00:19:30,611 --> 00:19:34,081
- Well, okay, this isn't
how I imagined this moment,
425
00:19:34,116 --> 00:19:36,745
but Dad, this is
my boyfriend, Ryan.
426
00:19:36,748 --> 00:19:39,128
Your boyfriend.
427
00:19:39,163 --> 00:19:40,261
Jeez, okay.
428
00:19:40,296 --> 00:19:42,466
- I know this isn't,
like, a good time,
429
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:44,427
um, but I just wanna say
430
00:19:44,429 --> 00:19:47,651
Annie is such a good woman.
431
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,166
- Ryan, you're
a very, very lucky guy.
432
00:19:49,201 --> 00:19:50,646
- I can't believe
I didn't know this.
433
00:19:50,651 --> 00:19:51,951
- Very.
- Fran, do you know
434
00:19:51,986 --> 00:19:53,735
this Ryan?
435
00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:55,450
- No. Are you the guy
436
00:19:55,451 --> 00:19:58,291
who was cutting women's
pony tails off on the bus?
437
00:19:58,326 --> 00:20:00,051
- No.
- My God.
438
00:20:01,589 --> 00:20:03,759
- Grub's on!
- Jeez.
439
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,311
What?
440
00:20:05,346 --> 00:20:09,056
Did you put the boxes in
at 500 degrees?
441
00:20:09,062 --> 00:20:12,072
I am not a chef.
442
00:20:12,107 --> 00:20:13,912
- Fine, but, Dad, no, no.
443
00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:14,987
You're gonna hurt yourself.
- Calm down.
444
00:20:14,991 --> 00:20:16,291
I'm not a hundred years old.
445
00:20:16,326 --> 00:20:18,366
- Yeah, okay,
but you've been sick, you know.
446
00:20:18,372 --> 00:20:20,002
- You're overreacting. It's--
- Fine--
447
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,086
- Don't shoot, you fuck!
- All right,
448
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,418
everybody take it slow.
449
00:20:26,304 --> 00:20:29,354
- Yeah, man!
That is what I'm talking about!
450
00:20:29,389 --> 00:20:31,071
Whoo!
- What the fuck?
451
00:20:31,106 --> 00:20:33,186
- I needed something metal
to bash the fucker.
452
00:20:33,193 --> 00:20:35,037
- Annie, your boyfriend
has a gun?
453
00:20:35,072 --> 00:20:37,375
- Only because we were camping.
It's fine.
454
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:40,960
Everybody just calm down.
- Well, it doesn't seem fine!
455
00:20:40,995 --> 00:20:44,129
Fuck.
Is that blood on your dress?
456
00:20:44,132 --> 00:20:45,475
- Yes.
457
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,061
But it's...
458
00:20:47,096 --> 00:20:49,650
Because I got my period.
459
00:20:49,685 --> 00:20:51,935
- Yes, and that's how
periods work.
460
00:20:51,939 --> 00:20:53,107
So we should get you changed.
- Yes.
461
00:20:53,142 --> 00:20:54,275
- And can I talk to you
for a sec?
462
00:20:54,277 --> 00:20:55,947
Yeah.
463
00:21:00,832 --> 00:21:02,002
- This is psychotic.
My mom just up and left?
464
00:21:02,037 --> 00:21:03,841
Truly,
is everyone off the rails?
465
00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:05,088
- What's going on?
466
00:21:05,091 --> 00:21:06,381
Why did you have blood
on yourself?
467
00:21:06,384 --> 00:21:08,020
- Well, I went last night
468
00:21:08,055 --> 00:21:10,135
to confront my troll
at his house.
469
00:21:10,142 --> 00:21:11,193
- When? Alone?
470
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,648
That's fucking scary
and stupid.
471
00:21:13,650 --> 00:21:14,690
Honestly, it sounds like
you're the one
472
00:21:14,693 --> 00:21:16,203
who's off the rails.
- What?
473
00:21:16,238 --> 00:21:17,316
I'm not off the rails.
474
00:21:17,323 --> 00:21:20,203
I am the rails.
- Okay, slow down.
475
00:21:20,204 --> 00:21:21,506
You did something dangerous,
476
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:24,091
and then you and Ryan
just ran away from it all.
477
00:21:24,126 --> 00:21:25,207
I had to come all the way here
478
00:21:25,214 --> 00:21:27,014
and miss a hair appointment
today.
479
00:21:27,049 --> 00:21:28,814
You couldn't even text me
or your dad.
480
00:21:28,849 --> 00:21:30,135
Think about that.
- Yeah, I mean,
481
00:21:30,141 --> 00:21:32,101
I went to Ryan
because he's my boyfriend
482
00:21:32,103 --> 00:21:34,193
and he actually supports me
about the stuff
483
00:21:34,228 --> 00:21:35,400
that I care about in my life.
484
00:21:35,401 --> 00:21:37,071
- Yeah, or you knew he was
the only person
485
00:21:37,106 --> 00:21:39,908
who wouldn't question you.
486
00:21:39,943 --> 00:21:42,673
- I mean...maybe. Yes.
487
00:21:42,708 --> 00:21:45,971
But Fran, I'm--
I'm really sorry.
488
00:21:46,006 --> 00:21:48,966
Like, I know that I've been
a piece of shit
489
00:21:48,970 --> 00:21:50,312
and a really bad friend.
490
00:21:50,347 --> 00:21:51,597
- I don't wanna fight with you,
Annie,
491
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:53,481
but you can't just disappear
and then leave me
492
00:21:53,516 --> 00:21:55,018
to clear up all your mess.
493
00:21:55,024 --> 00:21:57,468
You have to be my friend, too.
494
00:21:57,503 --> 00:21:59,874
- I know, I know.
I'm just--
495
00:21:59,909 --> 00:22:04,039
I'm trying to be the person
that I actually wanna be.
496
00:22:04,042 --> 00:22:06,632
And is this who you wanna be?
497
00:22:06,667 --> 00:22:09,011
Absolutely not.
498
00:22:09,046 --> 00:22:10,720
- This is a nightmare.
499
00:22:10,722 --> 00:22:12,774
Not at all.
500
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:14,444
- You smell horrible.
501
00:22:14,479 --> 00:22:16,991
- Yeah, I really do.
- Yeah.
502
00:22:17,026 --> 00:22:19,566
- Ryan went down on
my two-day puss in the woods.
503
00:22:19,573 --> 00:22:22,253
- That's good, but call me
when he eats your ass.
504
00:22:23,665 --> 00:22:26,125
- Hey, your mom's on the phone.
505
00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:28,087
- Shit.
506
00:22:28,090 --> 00:22:32,640
- Okay. Good.
507
00:22:32,641 --> 00:22:35,151
They actually let you pet them.
Well, wow.
508
00:22:35,186 --> 00:22:37,525
- Wh-- when's she coming back?
- Good.
509
00:22:37,526 --> 00:22:39,396
Okay.
510
00:22:39,404 --> 00:22:41,414
Yeah, we'll see you soon.
511
00:22:41,449 --> 00:22:43,578
I love you, too.
512
00:22:43,579 --> 00:22:46,669
Okay, well, I feel better.
513
00:22:46,704 --> 00:22:48,930
- What happened?
514
00:22:48,965 --> 00:22:51,135
- She's in Vancouver.
515
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,726
She said she needed a break
from the stress
516
00:22:53,761 --> 00:22:56,805
She wanted
to recharge her batteries.
517
00:22:56,814 --> 00:22:58,404
- That's it?
You didn't get anything else?
518
00:22:58,439 --> 00:22:59,740
- I don't know.
That's all she said.
519
00:22:59,775 --> 00:23:01,237
It's fine.
520
00:23:01,239 --> 00:23:03,199
It's between her and me.
521
00:23:03,201 --> 00:23:04,660
The family drama's over, okay?
522
00:23:04,695 --> 00:23:06,120
Everybody can head on out.
523
00:23:06,124 --> 00:23:07,668
I'm gonna hang out with Ron,
524
00:23:07,703 --> 00:23:09,178
and you can go back to work.
525
00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:11,723
- Yeah, I'll stay awake
if you need me.
526
00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:16,099
- Um, actually, I quit my job.
527
00:23:16,102 --> 00:23:18,170
- Annie, you didn't.
- What?
528
00:23:18,205 --> 00:23:20,200
- Yes, I did.
- Cool, right?
529
00:23:20,235 --> 00:23:21,945
- Well, this is exactly
the kind of stress
530
00:23:21,947 --> 00:23:23,081
I don't need.
531
00:23:23,116 --> 00:23:25,461
I don't understand.
What happened?
532
00:23:25,496 --> 00:23:29,626
- Well, my boss--
he-- he wasn't letting me do,
533
00:23:29,630 --> 00:23:31,590
you know, what I wanna do.
534
00:23:31,592 --> 00:23:33,972
- Which is every boss on earth
535
00:23:34,007 --> 00:23:35,471
in every job on earth.
536
00:23:35,474 --> 00:23:36,692
What is going on with you?
537
00:23:36,727 --> 00:23:39,227
- Look, Dad, you know,
this is a good thing.
538
00:23:39,232 --> 00:23:41,192
I'm shaking my shit up
a little bit.
539
00:23:41,194 --> 00:23:43,372
You know, taking a chance
on myself.
540
00:23:43,407 --> 00:23:45,577
I think I'm actually
figuring things out.
541
00:23:45,578 --> 00:23:48,328
- That was a great job, Annie.
542
00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:51,112
And you were doing so well.
543
00:23:51,147 --> 00:23:53,891
What are you gonna do now?
544
00:23:53,926 --> 00:23:55,730
- Listen, Bill,
545
00:23:55,765 --> 00:23:57,305
when you're young
you take risks
546
00:23:57,309 --> 00:23:59,404
and do crazy shit.
547
00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:03,779
Once, on a dare, I kissed
a dead dog on the road.
548
00:24:03,781 --> 00:24:05,621
And look at me now.
549
00:24:05,656 --> 00:24:07,002
I got this.
550
00:24:07,037 --> 00:24:10,797
Your daughter's got it, too.
Right, Annie?
551
00:24:10,832 --> 00:24:13,965
- Yeah. I got this.
552
00:24:13,968 --> 00:24:16,928
I got this.
553
00:24:16,932 --> 00:24:19,736
I-- I got this.
39476
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