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1
00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:16,270
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
HOME BOX OFFICE, INC.
2
00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:21,367
- IT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE,
BEING BLACK, AIN'T IT?
3
00:00:21,367 --> 00:00:22,827
IT'S HARD, MAN.
IT'S A HARD JOB.
4
00:00:22,834 --> 00:00:25,434
YOU CAN'T GET NO RELIEF NOWHERE.
I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GO.
5
00:00:25,433 --> 00:00:27,773
YOU CAN GO HOME.
YOU CAN CUT YOUR TV ON.
6
00:00:27,767 --> 00:00:29,697
IT'S PRESSURE. I WENT HOME.
7
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:30,900
I TRIED TO GET
A LITTLE RELIEF GOING.
8
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,930
WATCHED SPORTS, SPORTS CHANNEL.
CUT IT ON.
9
00:00:32,934 --> 00:00:37,974
THE MAN SAID, "WE BRING TO YOU
AMERICA'S FAVORITE SPORT--
10
00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:42,267
THE AMERICA'S CUP."
11
00:00:42,266 --> 00:00:45,396
NOW, WHO THE HELL DID THEY
CHECK WITH ON THIS?
12
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,970
THEY SAID YACHTING IS AMERICA'S
NUMBER-ONE SPORT.
13
00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:50,627
YOU DON'T NEVER SEE NONE OF US
YACHTING, DO YOU? UH-UH.
14
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,703
AFTER THAT FIRST
BIG BOAT RIDE--UH-UH--
15
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:55,300
WE KIND OF LOST
OUR TASTE FOR SAILING.
16
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,330
HA HA HA!
17
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,500
- IT'S THE "RUSSELL SIMMONS'
DEF COMEDY JAM"
18
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,700
WITH YOUR HOST D.L. HUGHLEY.
19
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,630
TONIGHT'S GUESTS...
20
00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:11,603
DAMON WILLIAMS,
21
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,370
SEAN LARKINS,
22
00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,597
B-PHLAT,
23
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,100
AND TURAE.
24
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:21,330
I AM YOUR MAN,
THE WORLD'S GREATEST D.J.,
25
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:23,733
THE KID CAPRI,
26
00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:26,034
AND THIS IS COMEDY AT ITS BEST.
27
00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:28,133
LET'S GET IT ON WITH YOUR HOST,
28
00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:30,433
D.L. HUGHLEY.
29
00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:33,773
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
30
00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:38,297
- HOW ABOUT THAT?
HOW ABOUT THAT?
31
00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:42,630
ONE MORE TIME, MY CAT
KID C-C-CAPRI.
32
00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:45,203
OH.
33
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,070
YOU GOT IT, MAN.
34
00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:49,896
MOTHERFUCKING HAIR. GODDAMN.
35
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:56,430
GOT THE FIRST JHERI CURL ON.
AIN'T THAT A BITCH?
36
00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,633
LOOK LIKE SNOOP
AND LIONEL RICHIE HAD A BABY.
37
00:01:58,633 --> 00:02:01,633
AIN'T THAT A BITCH?
38
00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:03,733
AND THE MOTHERFUCKER
CAME OUTSIDE WITH PAJAMAS ON.
39
00:02:03,734 --> 00:02:06,134
"SHIT, I'M GOING
RIGHT BACK TO BED.
40
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:07,773
JUST DON'T MAKE NO--"
41
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:09,067
I AIN'T GONNA FUCK WITH Y'ALL.
42
00:02:09,066 --> 00:02:12,466
I GOTTA GIVE THIS SWEATER BACK
TO KANYE WEST AFTER THE SHOW.
43
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,170
ALL RIGHT, MAN. HEY, HEY, HEY.
44
00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:19,596
HOW YOU DOING, KID?
YOU ALL RIGHT, BABY?
45
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,970
- YES, SIR. WHAT'S UP?
46
00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:22,827
- YOU KNOW ALL THE MIXES HE DO.
HEY, MAN, YOU DO REAL HIP-HOP.
47
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:25,034
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
GIVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
48
00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:30,033
THAT'S REAL SHIT, AND, YOU KNOW,
49
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:32,703
HIP-HOP IS UNDER ATTACK
LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER.
50
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:35,400
THEY BLAME EVERYTHING
ON HIP-HOP, MAN.
51
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,870
THE PROBLEM IN THE BLACK
COMMUNITY AIN'T HIP-HOP.
52
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,297
IT'S THAT 60% OF BLACK KIDS
DON'T HAVE A FATHER AT HOME.
53
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,870
THAT'S THE FUCKING PROBLEM.
RAISE YOUR KIDS.
54
00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:45,297
IT'S A SIMPLE THING.
55
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:47,770
IT KILLS ME TO SEE
A BEAUTIFUL SINGLE BLACK WOMAN
56
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,467
STRUGGLING TO RAISE
A CHILD ON HER OWN.
57
00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,127
THAT REALLY FUCKS ME UP
BECAUSE I KNOW
58
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,933
IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE THAT KID,
I'D BE TRYING TO FUCK HER.
59
00:02:52,934 --> 00:02:56,174
THAT'S THE TRUTH.
60
00:02:56,166 --> 00:02:57,726
I'LL BE DAMNED,
I'M GONNA PAY A BABYSITTER
61
00:02:57,734 --> 00:02:59,004
JUST TO GET SOME PUSSY.
62
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,370
OH, FUCK THAT SHIT.
63
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,267
YOU EVER BE FUCKING
WITH A WOMAN?
64
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:08,226
2:00 IN THE MORNING, HER KIDS
KICK IN, "GET OFF MY MAMA.
65
00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:11,833
"YOU'RE HURTING HER.
66
00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:16,334
I HEARD HER SCREAMING FOR JESUS
IN THE HALLWAY."
67
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,973
SINGLE MOTHERS
RAISE THEIR KIDS DIFFERENTLY.
68
00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:20,227
THEY GOT DIFFERENT RULES.
69
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,473
"NOW, LOOK, I DON'T WANT YOU
TALKING TO STRANGERS...
70
00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:25,797
"UNLESS THAT MOTHERFUCKER LOOK
LIKE HE GOT A JOB, YOU HEAR ME?
71
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,100
"AND IF HE OFFER YOU CANDY,
TAKE THAT SHIT.
72
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,830
"YOU KNOW I CAN'T AFFORD IT.
73
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,274
"SEE IF YOU CAN GET MAMA
A REESE CUP.
74
00:03:31,266 --> 00:03:33,866
YOU KNOW I LOVE
THEM REESE CUPS."
75
00:03:33,867 --> 00:03:35,467
ONLY TIME THERE'S A MAN
AROUND THE HOUSE
76
00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:37,597
IS WHEN THE GUY
FROM THE GAS COMPANY IS THERE.
77
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,970
"DADDY?"
78
00:03:38,967 --> 00:03:40,967
"HEY, I AIN'T YOUR DADDY.
79
00:03:40,967 --> 00:03:45,127
I'M JUST HERE
TO CUT OFF YOUR GAS."
80
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:49,373
"CAN YOU TEACH ME TO RIDE A BIKE
BEFORE YOU GO?"
81
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:51,697
"NAW, LITTLE FUCKER. FUCK THAT.
82
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:55,930
"LET ME SEE A PICTURE
OF YOUR MAMA.
83
00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:57,874
"IS SHE DOUBLE-JOINTED,
OR CAN'T SHE KEEP A SECRET?
84
00:03:57,867 --> 00:03:59,597
FUCK THAT SHIT."
85
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,470
SO, YOU AIN'T GOT NO MIRRORS
AT THE HOUSE, OBVIOUSLY.
86
00:04:01,467 --> 00:04:07,227
YOU JUST THOUGHT THAT SHIT
WAS ALL RIGHT, HUH?
87
00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:10,733
YOU IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION
PROGRAM OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
88
00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:14,197
ALL RIGHT. OUR FIRST COMEDIAN
89
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,070
IS ONE OF THE BADDEST YOUNG CATS
IN THE COUNTRY.
90
00:04:16,066 --> 00:04:18,666
HIS MOTTO IS,
"DON'T STOP AND DON'T QUIT."
91
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:31,367
FROM CHICAGO,
MY MAN DAMON WILLIAMS.
92
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:35,000
- WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL? WHAT'S UP?
93
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,270
GOOD TO BE IN DOWNTOWN MEXICO.
94
00:04:37,266 --> 00:04:40,496
LOOK A'HERE.
95
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:44,430
GODDAMN. HA HA HA!
96
00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:46,173
HEY, HEY, FELLAS,
BEFORE I GET STARTED,
97
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:49,396
YOU EVER TRY TO GET
A WOMAN DRUNK?
98
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,970
IT AIN'T GONNA WORK THESE DAYS,
TELL YOU RIGHT NOW.
99
00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:52,297
THESE LADIES RIGHT HERE,
BACK IN THE DAY,
100
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,970
YOU COULD GET A WOMAN DRUNK
OFF A LIGHT DRINK--
101
00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:56,867
SLOE GIN FIZZ,
102
00:04:56,867 --> 00:04:58,827
AMARETTO SOUR,
103
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,374
A LITTLE WINE COOLER.
104
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,897
SHE BE LIKE, "OOH,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY PUT IN THAT WINE COOLER.
105
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:06,430
WHAT DID THEY
PUT IN THAT WINE COOLER?"
106
00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:07,773
THESE WOMEN NOW, SHIT,
107
00:05:07,767 --> 00:05:12,227
THEY DRINK NOW, STRONG,
FOR REAL
108
00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:13,933
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
Y'ALL WORKING REAL HARD.
109
00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:16,734
YOU'RE RAISING KIDS BY YOURSELF.
YOU'RE RUNNING COMPANIES.
110
00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:19,134
Y'ALL DRINK LIQUOR--
111
00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:23,433
VODKA, LONG ISLAND,
TEQUILA SHOTS, TO THE HEAD.
112
00:05:23,433 --> 00:05:24,873
TRY TO GET A GIRL DRUNK NOW,
SHE BE LIKE,
113
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:29,167
"GIRL, THIS FOOL THINK
HE ABOUT TO GET ME DRUNK.
114
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:31,826
"HE DON'T KNOW ME, DO HE?
115
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:35,904
"HE ABOUT TO BE BROKE
AS HELL IN HERE.
116
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,470
"C'MON, PLAYER. VODKA.
117
00:05:38,467 --> 00:05:40,367
"GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE. VODKA.
118
00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:41,967
"YOU THOUGHT YOU WAS GONNA
GET SOME ASS, DIDN'T YOU?
119
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,827
VODKA."
120
00:05:43,834 --> 00:05:48,604
SHE BE LIKE,
"MAN UP, BITCH. VODKA."
121
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,100
SHIT, END OF THE NIGHT,
YOU SEE DUDES--
122
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,730
"SHIT, YOU GONNA HAVE
TO DRIVE ME HOME."
123
00:05:52,734 --> 00:05:54,404
IT'S THE BULLSHIT.
124
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,630
LADIES, LET ME TELL YOU
RIGHT NOW,
125
00:05:55,633 --> 00:05:59,873
IF A DUDE TAKE YOU
TO THE MOVIES, HE LIKE YOU.
126
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:02,467
THAT AIN'T NO CHEAP DATE.
127
00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:04,067
THAT'S WHY WHEN YOU GO,
DON'T BE MAD IF HE BE LIKE,
128
00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:06,326
"LET ME GET TWO TICKETS
TO THE MOVIE."
129
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,573
"WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?"
130
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:12,967
"NO. TWO TICKETS TO THE MOVIE."
131
00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:14,127
"WANT SOME SNACKS?"
132
00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,573
"NOPE.
133
00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:19,027
YOU DON'T SEE THIS BIG ASS
BACKPACK RIGHT HERE?"
134
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:21,333
SEE, YOU GET IN THAT THEATER,
135
00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:24,103
YOU HEAR BOTTLES
ROLLING DOWN THE AISLE,
136
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,500
ALUMINUM FOIL CRUMPLING.
137
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:29,430
KIDS BE, "MAMA,
PASS THE HOT SAUCE."
138
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:33,103
THE PIZZA MAN BE IN THERE.
"WHO HAD ORDERED? SOMEBODY..."
139
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:36,800
TWO TICKETS TO THE MOVIE,
FOR REAL.
140
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,800
THAT'S WHY WHEN YOU GO
TO THE MOVIES, DO WHAT I DO.
141
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,470
LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
DO WHAT I DO.
142
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,867
BUY 4 TICKETS FOR 4 PEOPLE.
143
00:06:43,867 --> 00:06:45,497
BUY 3 TICKETS--
144
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,800
TWO ADULTS, ONE CHILD.
145
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,330
THEY NEVER COUNT.
146
00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:51,603
WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO IN,
HAVE ONE PERSON HOLD THE TICKET.
147
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,030
EVERYBODY JUST WALK. YOU IN.
148
00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:55,003
I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
I DO THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME.
149
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,770
IT WORK. FOR REAL.
150
00:06:57,767 --> 00:06:58,927
PLUS--YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING?--
151
00:06:58,934 --> 00:06:59,974
HALF THE TIME,
DUDE BE SLOW, ANYWAY.
152
00:06:59,967 --> 00:07:01,027
YOU KNOW, YOU'VE SEEN THAT DUDE.
153
00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:04,333
"THANK YOU FOR COMING
TO THEATER," YOU KNOW?
154
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,903
I AIN'T MAKING FUN OF DUDE.
155
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,230
I'M JUST SAYING
YOU CAN TRICK HIM.
156
00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:08,473
"THANK YOU FOR COMING."
157
00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:10,297
YOU KNOW, YOU GIVE HIS ASS
ANYTHING--A CLEANERS TICKET.
158
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,170
"THANK YOU FOR COMING."
159
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:15,066
A RECEIPT.
"THANK YOU FOR COMING."
160
00:07:15,066 --> 00:07:17,226
AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE FUN
OF PEOPLE'S WITH THEIR ISSUES
161
00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:18,603
BECAUSE ACTUALLY,
I GOT A LITTLE COUSIN.
162
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,800
HE'S 19, ALL RIGHT, 19, AND HE
GOT ONE OF THEM, YOU KNOW?
163
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,430
YEAH. HE A LITTLE MESSED UP.
HE'S GOT ONE OF THEM, YOU KNOW,
164
00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:26,733
BUT IT'S MY MAN, THOUGH.
165
00:07:26,734 --> 00:07:28,604
I TAKE HIM TO REHAB,
AND I BE WITH HIM ALL THE TIME.
166
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,530
I KICK IT SO MUCH, THEY ASKED ME
IF I WANT TO VOLUNTEER
167
00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:33,573
AND BE ON ACTIVITIES.
168
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:35,697
RIGHT, BUT I'M TOO SILLY
FOR THIS JOB,
169
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,000
YOU KNOW, A LITTLE FIELD TRIP.
170
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,130
WE GOING TO LITTLE
BORING PLACES--
171
00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:42,073
MOVIES, MUSEUM, LIBRARY, ZOO.
172
00:07:42,066 --> 00:07:43,666
AFTER A WHILE, I'M BORED.
173
00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:46,927
I'M LIKE, "LOOK, I THINK THEY'RE
UNDERESTIMATING Y'ALL."
174
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,634
SO, I GATHER THEM ALL AROUND,
SAID, "I'M GOING TAKE Y'ALL SOME PLACES.
175
00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:51,203
"IF WE GO, Y'ALL CAN'T
TELL THEM WE WENT,
176
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,670
OR I'M GONNA GET IN TROUBLE."
177
00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:56,227
I'M TAKING THEM TO A PLACE THEY
AIN'T GOT NO BUSINESS GOING--
178
00:07:56,233 --> 00:08:00,073
YOU KNOW, BOWLING.
EEEEHHHHH!
179
00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:05,496
EEEEHHHHH!
180
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:10,600
THEY THROWING STRIKES,
BUT ON THE WRONG LANE.
181
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,070
I'M LIKE, "DUDE, IF YOU COULD
GET THAT TWIST SHOT YOUR SHIT, YOU COULD HIT THEM, MAN.
182
00:08:13,066 --> 00:08:15,096
YOU'D BE A 300."
183
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,500
I'M LIKE, "I KNEW Y'ALL
COULD DO SHIT."
184
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,100
I SAID, "TELL YOU WHAT.
WE WENT BOWLING,
185
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,530
WE CAN GO SKATING."
186
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:20,673
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
187
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,967
"OH," MY ASS.
THEY HAD A GOOD TIME.
188
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:24,367
THEY WERE LIKE, "WHAT'S UP?"
189
00:09:13,066 --> 00:09:15,466
I COULDN'T STOP THEM.
190
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:20,327
I SAID, "WELL, AT LEAST
PUT Y'ALL DAMN SKATES ON, MAN."
191
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,633
I'M DAMON WILLIAMS, Y'ALL.
I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.
192
00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:25,233
DAMON WILLIAMS.
193
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:37,200
- ONE MORE TIME, DAMON WILLIAMS.
194
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,000
THAT'S FUCKED UP.
195
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,600
FUCKED UP THAT Y'ALL ARE
LAUGHING AT THE RETARDED PEOPLE.
196
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,500
THAT SHIT AIN'T RIGHT.
197
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,070
WHITE FOLK, IF THEY GOT A CHILD
THAT'S KIND OF SLOW,
198
00:09:46,066 --> 00:09:47,426
THEY'LL SEND THEM
TO A SPECIAL SCHOOL.
199
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:49,933
BLACK FOLK WON'T EVEN ADMIT
THEIR CHILD GOT NO PROBLEM.
200
00:09:49,934 --> 00:09:52,634
"GET YOUR CRAZY ASS
IN THIS HOUSE.
201
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,073
"THERE AIN'T SHIT WRONG
WITH THAT BOY.
202
00:09:54,066 --> 00:09:57,926
HE ALWAYS WEARS
A FOOTBALL HELMET AND COWBOY BOOTS, YOU KNOW?"
203
00:09:57,934 --> 00:10:01,974
MOTHERFUCKER 35 YEARS OLD
WITH SPIDERMAN UNDERWEAR ON
204
00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:04,197
STANDING IN THE SCREEN DOOR
EATING GRAHAM CRACKERS.
205
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:08,600
"THESE ARE SO GOOD."
206
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,230
ALL RIGHT. FROM THE MOTOR CITY,
207
00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:14,103
PUT THEM TOGETHER
FOR SEAN LARKINS.
208
00:10:27,166 --> 00:10:31,626
- YOU EVER HAVE ON
YOUR FLYEST OUTFIT?
209
00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:33,733
I'M TALKING ABOUT--
210
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:39,970
I'M TALKING ABOUT
YOU CLEAN AS A NEW NAPKIN.
211
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,327
YOU LOOKING GOOD AS SHIT.
212
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:44,633
YOU GET TO THE CLUB,
AIN'T NOBODY THERE.
213
00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:45,933
YOU LIKE, "MAN, I'M WEARING
THIS SHIT TOMORROW.
214
00:10:45,934 --> 00:10:48,874
FUCK THAT."
215
00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:50,527
ON SOME SERIOUS SHIT,
THOUGH, MAN,
216
00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:52,773
TWO YEARS AGO, THIS COUNTRY
HAD ONE OF THE WORST NATURAL DISASTERS WE HAD.
217
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,767
HURRICANE KATRINA CAME THROUGH,
218
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,867
FUCKED LOUISIANA UP,
MISSISSIPPI UP,
219
00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:57,997
AND I WAS LIKE
THE REST OF Y'ALL.
220
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,730
I WAS WATCHING THIS SHIT
ON THE NEWS.
221
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,204
WATCHED PEOPLE LOSE THEY LIVES.
222
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,670
I SAW PEOPLE ON ROOFTOPS
223
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,127
DIDN'T KNOW WHERE
THEIR MAMA AND DADDY WAS,
224
00:11:04,133 --> 00:11:05,933
KIDS WAS, AND I SHED A TEAR.
225
00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:07,734
IN ATLANTA--
THAT'S WHERE I STAY NOW--
226
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:10,574
WE HAD 20,000 PEOPLE
WHO LIVED IN SHELTERS,
227
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:13,927
AND I WAS LIKE, "IF I DON'T
GO DOWN TO THIS SHELTER AND HELP SOMEBODY,
228
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:16,074
"IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING, DONATE
TIME, MONEY, OR SOMETHING,
229
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,726
"I'M JUST AS GUILTY
AS THE GOVERNMENT
230
00:11:17,734 --> 00:11:20,674
I'M BITCHING ABOUT
THAT DIDN'T HELP, ALL RIGHT?"
231
00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:22,897
I'M RIGHT.
232
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,630
SO, YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
233
00:11:24,633 --> 00:11:26,273
I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY,
AND I PRAYED ABOUT IT,
234
00:11:26,266 --> 00:11:27,796
SAID, "GOD, WHAT CAN I DO?"
235
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,200
SO, I SAID, "I GOT A EXTRA
BEDROOM IN MY APARTMENT.
236
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,100
THERE'S NO REASON SOMEBODY
FROM THIS SHELTER CAN'T STAY DOWN THERE."
237
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,730
SO, I WENT DOWN
TO THAT SHELTER THAT DAY,
238
00:11:34,734 --> 00:11:39,274
AND I FOUND TWO
OF THE SEXIEST 19-YEAR-OLDS IN THAT GODDAMN SHELTER.
239
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:43,673
I WAS PUSHING KIDS
AND OLD LADIES.
240
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:45,067
"EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.
Y'ALL TWO, LET'S GO.
241
00:11:45,066 --> 00:11:46,426
"YOU'RE OUTTA HERE.
LET'S GO. C'MON.
242
00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:50,673
C'MON. THIS IS YOUR LAST DAY.
C'MON, SHIT."
243
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:54,927
'CAUSE I HELP PEOPLE.
THAT'S WHAT I DO. I HELP PEOPLE.
244
00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:57,534
AND I TOOK THEM HOME,
AND MY GIRLFRIEND,
245
00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:02,573
THIS BITCH DON'T UNDERSTAND.
SHE DON'T GET IT.
246
00:12:02,567 --> 00:12:06,167
SHE COME OUT, "WHO THE FUCK
IS THESE HOS?"
247
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:08,926
I WAS LIKE, "HEY, HEY,
THESE ARE NOT HOS.
248
00:12:08,934 --> 00:12:12,304
"THESE ARE EVACUEES.
249
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,600
I'M TRYING TO HELP
SOME-GODDAMN-BODY."
250
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,230
SHE SAID, "WHY THE HELL
THEY DRESSED LIKE THAT?"
251
00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:18,603
"THEY LOST ALL THEIR CLOTHES
IN THE STORM,
252
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,130
"AND I WENT TO VICTORIA SECRETS
253
00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:28,973
AND GOT THEM
SOME ESSENTIALS, OK?"
254
00:12:28,967 --> 00:12:32,367
I SHOULDN'T BE FUCKING
WITH NO 19-YEAR-OLDS, NO WAY.
255
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:35,027
I'M 37, AND I THINK
IF YOU IN YOUR 30s,
256
00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:37,203
YOU NEED TO DATE
MOTHERFUCKERS IN YOUR 30s
257
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,130
'CAUSE I WAS DATING
A 22-YEAR-OLD LAST YEAR.
258
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:42,373
THIS BITCH AGED ME 10 YEARS.
259
00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:46,067
SHE WANNA FUCK EVERY DAY
ALL DAY--
260
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:49,766
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK,
FUCK, FUCK.
261
00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:51,097
I BE FEELING LIKE THE BITCH
IN THE RELATIONSHIP,
262
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,900
LIKE, "CAN WE JUST
CUDDLE TONIGHT, PLEASE?
263
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:57,230
COULD YOU JUST HOLD ME
ONE EVENING?"
264
00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,173
NOT THIS BITCH.
EVERY DAY, "C'MON, GET UP.
265
00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:01,426
"GET THAT DICK HARD. LET'S GO.
266
00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:04,233
"I'M COMING HOME FOR LUNCH.
C'MON. GET IT UP.
267
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:06,833
ONE MORE TIME BEFORE BED.
C'MON."
268
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,304
I WAS LIKE, "LOOK, BITCH,
YOU CAN CHEAT.
269
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,200
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK NO MORE.
YOU CAN CHEAT. GO ON, SHIT.
270
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:16,300
DAMN SIDE HURT,
ALL THE GODDAMN FUCKING."
271
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:17,800
I DON'T EVEN
WANT TO FUCK NO MORE.
272
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,330
IF I COULD JUST GET HEAD
THE REST OF MY LIFE,
273
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:22,703
I'LL BE A HAPPY MOTHERFUCKER.
274
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:25,170
FELLAS, DON'T YOU LOVE HEAD?
275
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:29,726
WHEW, MAMASITA, YES.
276
00:13:29,734 --> 00:13:32,104
WHEW, ME, I LOVE HEAD.
277
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,570
LADIES, IF YOU'RE SUCKING DICK,
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER.
278
00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:35,897
LADIES, HELLO, LADIES.
279
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,430
ONE LADY, TWO LADIES.
ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOOD.
280
00:13:37,433 --> 00:13:38,873
THAT'S RIGHT.
JUST TWO LADIES SUCKING DICK.
281
00:13:38,867 --> 00:13:40,397
Y'ALL SUCKING DICK
IN THIS SECTION, Y'ALL?
282
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,730
"SHIT, I DIDN'T KNOW
THERE WAS GOING TO BE TEST.
283
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:46,174
WHAT THE FUCK
IS GOING ON HERE?"
284
00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:47,226
MA'AM, YOU DO THAT,
WITH THE GLASSES?
285
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:48,703
YOU DO THAT SUCKING?
YOU DO THAT?
286
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:51,830
YOU LEAVE THE GLASSES ON,
OR YOU TAKE GLASSES OFF?
287
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:54,804
CAN YOU SEE HER SUCKING DICK
WITH HER GLASSES ON? JUST--
288
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,627
I'M JUST SERIOUS, ANYWAY.
289
00:14:05,567 --> 00:14:07,327
SISTERS GIVE YOU A HARD TIME
ABOUT SOME HEAD.
290
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:10,403
WHITE GIRLS DON'T BULLSHIT.
THEY DON'T.
291
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,500
YOU ASK A SISTER FOR SOME HEAD,
"BABY, YOU GONNA GIVE ME SOME HEAD?"
292
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:15,000
"UGH.
293
00:14:16,266 --> 00:14:17,526
"HERE YOU GO
WITH THIS HEAD SHIT.
294
00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:22,833
EVERY GODDAMN NIGHT,
HEAD, HEAD, HEAD."
295
00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:26,304
NOT THE WHITE GIRLS.
YOU AIN'T GOT TO ASK THEM TWICE.
296
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,800
I HAD A WHITE GIRL
GIVE ME SOME HEAD SO GOOD,
297
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,430
BITCH HAD ME TALKING
LIKE A WHITE DUDE.
298
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:33,833
SIR, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
299
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:40,400
SHE WAS LIKE,
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?"
300
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,870
"SUCK MY FUCKING COCK."
301
00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:56,134
SHE WAS LIKE, "YOU LIKE THAT,
DON'T YOU, NIGGER?"
302
00:14:56,133 --> 00:14:59,673
I WAS LIKE, "WHAT THE FUCK
YOU SAY TO ME, BITCH?
303
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:01,997
I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS LATER."
304
00:15:05,066 --> 00:15:09,566
SUCK A DICK TONIGHT.
COME BACK IN TWO WEEKS AND TESTIFY.
305
00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:12,427
I'M TELLING YOU,
HER LIFE WOULD BE LIKE A WEIGHT WATCHERS COMMERCIAL.
306
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:20,773
SHE BE LIKE, "BEFORE
I SUCKED DICK, I HAD NOTHING."
307
00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:27,727
SHE BE LIKE, "BEFORE
I SUCKED DICK, I HAD NOTHING."
308
00:15:27,734 --> 00:15:29,534
UM...
309
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:32,433
"I'VE ONLY BEEN SUCKING DICK
FOR TWO WEEKS,
310
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:36,503
AND I WAS ABLE TO PURCHASE
A NEW HOME, A NEW CAR..."
311
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:40,270
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
312
00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:42,766
HEY, THANK Y'ALL.
REST IN PEACE, BIRDMAN.
313
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:45,997
I'LL SEE Y'ALL LATER.
314
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,470
- FROM ST. LOUIS,
THE LOVELY B-PHLAT.
315
00:15:54,066 --> 00:15:56,726
- WHAT'S UP L.A.,
HOW Y'ALL DOING?
316
00:15:56,734 --> 00:15:58,534
DAMN RIGHT.
317
00:15:58,533 --> 00:16:00,503
I HEARD D.L. TALKING ABOUT
TITTIES, DAMN RIGHT.
318
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,870
THEY ALL MINE.
[INDISTINCT]
319
00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:06,497
SHIT, I AM HAPPY
TO BE UP IN HERE.
320
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,800
I COULD HAVE BEEN IN IRAQ,
BUT I WAS LIKE, HELL NO,
321
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,970
I'M NOT LEAVING THE COUNTRY.
322
00:16:09,967 --> 00:16:11,427
I'D RATHER BE
IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER,
323
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:12,633
ENTERTAINING Y'ALL.
324
00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:14,303
THE LADY CALLED ME
FROM THE U.S.O.
325
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,930
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THAT BITCH
GOT MY PHONE NUMBER.
326
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,874
I WAS LIKE, "BITCH,
WHY IS YOU CALLING ME?"
327
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:20,767
SHE TALKING ABOUT, "YOU NEED
TO GO ENTERTAIN THE TROOPS."
328
00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:22,797
I WAS LIKE, "HELL NO, I'M NOT
LEAVING THE COUNTRY.
329
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,530
"Y'ALL AIN'T GOT SOMETHING ELSE
FOR ME TO DO?
330
00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:26,603
"Y'ALL CAN'T PUT SOME SAND
IN THE BACKGROUND,
331
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,800
"PUT A HELMET ON THE BITCH,
LET ME TAP DANCE?
332
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,000
DO THE SHIT VIA SATELLITE?"
333
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,100
I'M LIKE, "BITCH,
I'M NOT LEAVING."
334
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:35,867
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.
THAT'S THAT WEED.
335
00:16:35,867 --> 00:16:37,597
THAT'S THAT WEED.
336
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,000
SHIT, I AIN'T GONNA LIE.
I GOTS TO SMOKE.
337
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,300
I GOTS TO SMOKE WEED.
338
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,370
I SWEAR TO GOD, MY EX-FIANCE
USED TO SAY STUPID SHIT TO ME.
339
00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:44,427
SILLY SHIT.
340
00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:46,573
"WHY YOU SMOKE WEED
AROUND MY MAMA?"
341
00:16:46,567 --> 00:16:47,567
"YOUR MAMA GAVE ME THIS WEED.
342
00:16:47,567 --> 00:16:49,597
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?"
343
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:50,730
THAT'S WHY I SMOKE.
344
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,167
I TOLD HIS ASS I DON'T MAKE
A GOOD GIRLFRIEND.
345
00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:58,226
I TOLD HIM THAT.
I TELL NIGGAS ALL THE TIME I'M NOT SHIT.
346
00:16:58,233 --> 00:16:59,733
JUST 'CAUSE I'M CUTE
THAT DON'T MEAN SHIT.
347
00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:01,434
I KNOW I AIN'T SHIT.
348
00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:03,933
I TELL NIGGAS ALL THE TIME,
I GOT TO HAVE 2 OR 3,
349
00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:05,434
4 OR 5 MEN, I SWEAR TO GOD.
350
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:08,203
THEY ALL SERVE A PURPOSE,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
351
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,700
MY COME OVER NIGGA.
EVERYBODY GOT A COME OVER NIGGA.
352
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:14,330
THAT'S THE NIGGA THAT BRINGS
THE WEED, THE WINE, AND THE MOVIE.
353
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,303
HE HAD ME ALL FUCKED UP, HE DID.
354
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,870
HE HAD ME FUCKED UP,
THE COME OVER NIGGA, THAT'S RIGHT.
355
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:19,927
HE'D CALL ME, TALKIN' ABOUT,
356
00:17:19,934 --> 00:17:22,134
"WHAT YOU DOING?
I'M ABOUT TO COME OVER."
357
00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:24,203
I SAID, "OH, NO, YOU NOT.
I'M ABOUT TO GO OUT ON A DATE."
358
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,300
SO HE GONNA GET MAD,
TALKIN' ABOUT, "WHAT?
359
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,630
"YOU GOING ON A DATE?
360
00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:29,473
FUCK THAT. I THOUGHT
WE WAS DATING."
361
00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:31,527
THIS NIGGA THINK BECAUSE HE COME
OVER THE MOST, HE DATING ME.
362
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:34,633
NO, NIGGA, A DATE IS WHEN
YOU LEAVE OUT THE HOUSE
363
00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:35,903
AND GET OFF MY BLOCK, NIGGA.
364
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:36,900
THAT'S A DATE.
365
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,100
RIGHT.
366
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,500
SO, HE GONNA GET MAD
AND START CUSSING ME OUT,
367
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,700
TALKIN' ABOUT,
"FUCK THAT, FUCK THAT.
368
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:46,800
"I DON'T APPRECIATE
NO SHIT LIKE THIS.
369
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,300
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THIS.
370
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,570
"THIS IS FUCKED UP.
371
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,067
"I THOUGHT WE WAS DATING.
372
00:17:51,066 --> 00:17:53,196
"YOU AIN'T NEVER ASKED ME
TO TAKE YOU NOWHERE.
373
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,770
"I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE FUCK YOU LIKE.
374
00:17:54,767 --> 00:17:56,627
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU INTO."
375
00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:58,273
I SAID, "WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT I LIKE,
376
00:17:58,266 --> 00:18:03,526
"FOLLOW ME AND THIS OTHER NIGGA,
SEE WHERE WE GOING...
377
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:07,603
THEN YOU'LL KNOW--THEN
YOU'LL WHAT THE FUCK I LIKE."
378
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,100
[INDISTINCT]
379
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:12,000
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE."
380
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,430
I AIN'T SHIT.
381
00:18:13,433 --> 00:18:15,603
I DON'T MAKE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND.
382
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,100
I KNOW I DON'T MAKE
A GOOD STEPMOMMA.
383
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,530
I TRIED THAT.
I TRIED THAT SHIT.
384
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,203
MY STEPDAUGHTER HAD ME
ALL FUCKED UP.
385
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,670
SHE'D COME CALLING ME
TALKIN' ABOUT,
386
00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,397
"CAN YOU HELP ME
WITH MY HOMEWORK?
387
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,570
"CAN YOU TAKE ME TO THE MALL?
CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS?"
388
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:29,867
I SAID, "LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING. ALL I DO IS FUCK YOUR DADDY.
389
00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:32,167
I'M THE STEPMOM, BITCH."
390
00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:35,866
OBVIOUSLY, SHE DON'T--SHE--
391
00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:37,997
SHE DON'T KNOW WHAT "STEP" MEAN
IN "STEPMOMMA."
392
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:42,200
IT MEANS, STEP DOWN, STEP BACK,
STEP OUT THE WAY.
393
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,070
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M BUSY,
I'M STEPPING IN WITH YOUR DADDY.
394
00:18:44,066 --> 00:18:46,226
YOU'RE GETTING
ON MY NERVE, BITCH.
395
00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:49,103
I TELL BROTHERS ALL THE TIME,
YOU AIN'T GOT TO WORRY ABOUT HOW I'M GONNA TREAT YOUR KIDS
396
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:50,830
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO MEET
YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' KIDS.
397
00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:53,134
PLAIN AND SIMPLE,
I AIN'T GOT NO KIDS.
398
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,373
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
SEE, I'M NOT SENSITIVE TO ISSUES LIKE THAT
399
00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:56,867
'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE NO CHILDREN.
400
00:18:56,867 --> 00:18:58,227
I DON'T HAVE NO HUSBAND.
401
00:18:58,233 --> 00:19:00,233
I'M OLD SCHOOL, AND BELIEVE ME,
LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
402
00:19:00,233 --> 00:19:02,673
I COME FROM A FAMILY WHERE
YOU GOTS TO BE MARRIED.
403
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,597
MY MAMA ALWAYS KEPT
A DADDY FOR US.
404
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:05,770
FUCK THAT.
405
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:06,827
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
406
00:19:09,967 --> 00:19:11,497
STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.
407
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,830
SHIT, I'M TRYING
TO GET ME A DAMN HUSBAND.
408
00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:15,234
DON'T LET THE SMOOTH CUT
FOOL YOU.
409
00:19:15,233 --> 00:19:17,603
DON'T LET
THE SMOOTH CUT FOOL YOU. FUCK THAT.
410
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,370
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S
GONNA HAPPEN TO ME.
411
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,597
I REALLY DON'T.
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M EVER GONNA HAVE KIDS.
412
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,500
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
EVER GONNA GET A DAMN HUSBAND.
413
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,270
I'M ABOUT TIRED OF NIGGAS
ON THE DL.
414
00:19:25,266 --> 00:19:27,396
I DON'T FEEL LIKE
EVERYBODY'S ON THE DL,
415
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:32,170
BUT IT'S A LOT OF NIGGAS
OUT HERE THAT'S A LITTLE SUSPECT.
416
00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:34,696
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU
COMING OUT THE CLOSET.
417
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:35,970
COME OUT THE CLOSET.
418
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,527
WHY YOU GOT TO COME OUT
THE HOUSE, I DON'T KNOW.
419
00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:40,973
JUST STAY IN THAT
MOTHERFUCKIN' ROOM.
420
00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:42,997
COME OUT THE CLOSET,
BE YOURSELF.
421
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,370
I DON'T LIKE NIGGAS STRADDLING
THE FENCE, I SWEAR TO GOD.
422
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:48,397
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY
ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING YOU DO.
423
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,500
I SWEAR TO GOD, A NIGGA GOT
2 TIMES TO RUN OUT THE HOUSE
424
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,230
WITH MY HOUSE SHOES ON
TO GET THE NEWSPAPER.
425
00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:58,973
IF YOU'RE NOT SURE, LADIES,
IF YOU'RE NOT SURE ABOUT A MAN,
426
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,127
TAKE A SHOWER WITH HIM.
427
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,803
THAT'S GONNA LET YOU KNOW
RIGHT THEN AND THERE
428
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,100
IF A BROTHER FLIPPITY-FLOPPITY.
429
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:05,230
FOR REAL, FLIPPITY-FLOPPITY,
430
00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:08,133
FUCK IT.
THAT'S GONNA LET YOU KNOW.
431
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:09,833
A REAL MAN, HE'S GONNA
LET YOU WASH HIM
432
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,334
FROM HEAD TO TOE IN THE FRONT.
433
00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:14,033
THE WATER HITTING HIS BACK,
YOU IN THE FRONT OF HIM,
434
00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:16,703
YOU GOT THE LITTLE RAG
LATHERED UP, YOU HOOKING HIM UP.
435
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,930
YOU DOWN HERE DOING
HIS SHINS AND HIS KNEECAPS,
436
00:20:19,934 --> 00:20:21,234
YOU GET RIGHT HERE,
THEY DO LIKE THIS,
437
00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:22,373
TRY TO SMACK YOU
IN THE FOREHEAD.
438
00:20:22,367 --> 00:20:25,097
YOU EVER HAD THAT?
YOU GET SOME SOAP IN YOUR EYE.
439
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,570
HE'S LIKE, "NIGGA,
YOU PLAY TOO DAMN MUCH."
440
00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:29,227
"I WAS JUST PLAYING.
I WAS JUST PLAYING."
441
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:30,633
YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD THAT HAPPEN?
442
00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:38,026
NEXT THING YOU KNOW
YOU GOT THE RAG, RIGHT.
443
00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:40,203
YOU'RE DOING HIS CHEST.
444
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,100
YOU BACK HERE, YOU DONE FLIPPED
AROUND, YOU DOING HIS BACK.
445
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,100
YOU GET TOO CLOSE
TO HIS ASSHOLE,
446
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:47,500
A REAL MAN, HE GONNA
SNATCH THE RAG.
447
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,630
AM I RIGHT OR WRONG?
448
00:20:48,633 --> 00:20:51,303
JUST LIKE THIS,
HE GONNA DO JUST LIKE THAT,
449
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:54,370
AND HE AIN'T GONNA LET YOU
SEE HIM GET UP IN HIS ASS,
450
00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:56,727
AND THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING.
451
00:20:56,734 --> 00:21:00,134
CAN YOU IMAGINE IF A NIGGA
PUT HIS LEG UP ON THE SIDE OF THE TUB,
452
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,473
DID SOME SHIT LIKE THIS?
453
00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:06,497
YOU BE LIKE, "OH, THIS NIGGA
PUT HIS LEG UP REAL HIGH ON SATURDAY.
454
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,330
"OH, NO, HE AIN'T GOT
NO BOOTY HAIRS.
455
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,433
HE AIN'T GOT NO BOOTY HAIRS."
456
00:21:10,433 --> 00:21:11,673
Y'ALL, THAT'S MY TIME.
457
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:14,097
I'M B-PHLAT.
I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED THE SHOW.
458
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,070
THANK YOU.
459
00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:17,066
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
460
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,700
- NOW, THIS CAT CALLS HIMSELF
A NEIGHBORHOOD GEEK
461
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,430
AND A FAILED BASKETBALL STAR.
462
00:21:26,433 --> 00:21:29,573
FORMERLY FROM PHILLY,
PUT THEM UP FOR TURAE.
463
00:21:29,567 --> 00:21:31,527
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
464
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,070
- WHAT UP, L.A.?
465
00:21:39,066 --> 00:21:41,766
OR SHOULD I SAY DOWNTOWN L.A.
466
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:45,297
THIS IS--I SEE WHERE
Y'ALL HIDE YOUR CRACKHEADS.
467
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:46,670
THAT SHIT WAS AMAZING FOR ME.
468
00:21:46,667 --> 00:21:48,567
BEING FROM THE EAST COAST,
Y'ALL DON'T DO THE THING
469
00:21:48,567 --> 00:21:50,667
WHERE Y'ALL HIDE YOUR CRACKHEADS
LIKE WE DO.
470
00:21:50,667 --> 00:21:52,267
WE DISTINGUISH OUR CRACKHEADS.
471
00:21:52,266 --> 00:21:53,966
WE MAKE THEM WEAR
CRACKHEAD UNIFORMS, YOU KNOW,
472
00:21:53,967 --> 00:21:57,097
LIKE ONE FLIP-FLOP,
ONE TIMBERLAND, YOU KNOW.
473
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:59,370
THAT WAY WE KNOW WHAT THE FUCK
WE DEALING WITH, YOU KNOW.
474
00:21:59,367 --> 00:22:01,597
Y'ALL LET Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKIN'
CRACKHEADS BLEND IN.
475
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,730
LIKE VENICE BEACH.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DEALING WITH.
476
00:22:04,734 --> 00:22:06,574
YOU EVER BEEN TO VENICE BEACH?
OPEN AIR MARKET,
477
00:22:06,567 --> 00:22:07,997
A LOT OF PEOPLE DOING THINGS,
SELLING SHIT,
478
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,270
SETTING THEMSELVES ON FIRE
FOR A DOLLAR, EVERYTHING.
479
00:22:11,266 --> 00:22:13,796
I DON'T KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM AND THE REGULAR CRACKHEADS.
480
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,000
NIGGA CAME UP TO ME LIKE,
"YO, YOU LIKE MUSIC?"
481
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000
I'M LIKE, "YEAH,
I LIKE RAP MUSIC. EAST COAST, NIGGA, WHAT?"
482
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,270
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT HE WAS
TRYING TO START SOME SHIT.
483
00:22:19,266 --> 00:22:20,996
HE WAS LIKE, "NAW, THAT'S OVER."
I WAS LIKE, "OH, OK,
484
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,370
I'M AN ARTIST.
WHAT YOU GOT?"
485
00:22:22,367 --> 00:22:24,897
HE HAD ONE OF THEM LITTLE 3-RING
BINDERS WITH THE MIX CDs IN IT.
486
00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:26,730
I WAS LIKE, "LET ME SEE."
HE STARTS FLIPPING THROUGH IT.
487
00:22:26,734 --> 00:22:28,474
HE'S LIKE, "YOU SEE SOMETHING,
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE."
488
00:22:28,467 --> 00:22:29,897
I SAID, "WELL, STOP RIGHT THERE,
I LIKE THAT.
489
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:31,630
JAY Z, "BIG PIMPIN.'"
GIVE ME THAT."
490
00:22:31,633 --> 00:22:33,503
HE'S LIKE, "THAT RIGHT THERE?"
I SAID, "THAT RIGHT HERE."
491
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,700
THIS NIGGA SLAMMED THE BOOK
SHUT, STEPPED BACK...
492
00:22:35,700 --> 00:22:38,370
[IMITATES SONG STARTING]
493
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,900
MY FRIENDS WALKED THE FUCK OFF.
I SAID, "HOLD UP.
494
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,330
I GOT 3 MORE SONGS
IN THIS NIGGA."
495
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:50,166
I DON'T KNOW.
496
00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:51,966
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKED UP
ABOUT THAT JOKE
497
00:22:51,967 --> 00:22:54,527
IS THAT WE ALL HAD A GOOD LAUGH,
LIKE CRACK, HA HA.
498
00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:56,603
AIN'T NOTHING FUCKIN' FUNNY
ABOUT CRACK.
499
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,870
THAT'S AN EPIDEMIC THAT
AFFECTS ALL OUR PEOPLE,
500
00:22:58,867 --> 00:23:01,397
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY WE LAUGH?
'CAUSE IT'S COMMON.
501
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,130
EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM,
NO MATTER WHAT COLOR YOU ARE,
502
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,603
HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE,
OR WHERE YOU LIVE,
503
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,730
EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM DONE HAD
A CONVERSATION WITH A CRACKHEAD.
504
00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:09,234
AND KEEP IT REAL,
YOU'VE ALL WALKED AWAY FROM THAT CONVERSATION
505
00:23:09,233 --> 00:23:10,433
THINKING THE SAME WAY.
506
00:23:10,433 --> 00:23:14,073
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING
TALKING TO THAT CRACKHEAD?
507
00:23:14,066 --> 00:23:16,196
I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THAT.
I CAN'T DO CRACK.
508
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,370
I GOT TO DO CERTAIN SHIT
TO CALM ME DOWN, LIKE WEED.
509
00:23:18,367 --> 00:23:20,797
WHEN YOU GET OLD, YOU GOT
TO KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS.
510
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,630
I KNOW I DON'T LOOK OLD,
BUT I'M GETTING OLDER.
511
00:23:22,633 --> 00:23:24,733
I'M GETTING TO THAT POINT
WHERE I KNOW MY LIMITATIONS.
512
00:23:24,734 --> 00:23:26,034
A LOT OF NIGGAS
DON'T KNOW THEIR LIMITATIONS.
513
00:23:26,033 --> 00:23:27,403
YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR CERTAIN SHIT.
514
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,800
YOU OVER 30, TOO OLD TO BE
OUT HERE FUCKIN' FIST FIGHTING.
515
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,870
A LOT OF NIGGAS IN HERE
LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M CRAZY,
516
00:23:32,867 --> 00:23:35,627
LIKE "WHAT? I'MA HOLD IT DOWN."
517
00:23:35,633 --> 00:23:37,903
I FEEL YOU.
YOU AIN'T THE SAME.
518
00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:39,000
YOU'RE NOT BUILT THE SAME WAY.
519
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,870
SIR, I SEE IT IN YOUR EYES.
520
00:23:40,867 --> 00:23:42,927
AT 16, YOU WAS A KILLER.
521
00:23:42,934 --> 00:23:44,334
YOU AIN'T NEED A REASON.
"WHAT?"
522
00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:45,833
YOU START A FIGHT BY YOURSELF.
523
00:23:45,834 --> 00:23:48,034
IT WAS HOT, HE SAID
SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR MAMA.
524
00:23:48,033 --> 00:23:49,203
FUCK THAT.
525
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,000
YOU WERE 16, YOU TAKE
A CLEAN PUNCH IN THE FACE
526
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,170
AND BE IN THE HOUSE
TALKIN' SHIT LIKE,
527
00:23:53,166 --> 00:23:55,826
"WE GONNA GET THAT
MOTHERFUCKER LATER.
528
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:59,304
HE NEED TO KNOW
WHO HE DEALING WITH."
529
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:03,830
THAT'S 'CAUSE AT 16, YOUR EYE
WOULD BE HEALED LATER.
530
00:24:03,834 --> 00:24:06,074
GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE AT 34,
531
00:24:06,066 --> 00:24:08,926
YOU GONNA MISS
A COUPLE DAYS AT WORK,
532
00:24:08,934 --> 00:24:11,974
YOU NEED AN MRI,
YOUR KIDS CAN'T PLAY WITH YOU.
533
00:24:11,967 --> 00:24:15,497
"DON'T JUMP ON DADDY LIKE THAT.
YOU KNOW MY EYE IS FUCKED UP."
534
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,630
THE SWELLING DON'T GO DOWN
FOR LIKE 8 MONTHS.
535
00:24:17,633 --> 00:24:19,003
YOUR FRIENDS LIKE,
"SHIT'S STILL FUCKED UP?"
536
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,170
"YO, I MUST BE
ALLERGIC TO FISTS."
537
00:24:22,166 --> 00:24:25,026
I'M NOT NO THUG.
I KNOW MY LIMITATIONS.
538
00:24:25,033 --> 00:24:27,233
I GOT CHASED THE FUCK HOME
THE OTHER DAY.
539
00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:29,103
34 YEARS OLD AND ALL.
I'M IN THE HOUSE, LIKE...
540
00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:31,730
[BREATHING HEAVY]
541
00:24:31,734 --> 00:24:34,074
"YO, THEM NIGGAS
WERE SERIOUS, YO."
542
00:24:34,066 --> 00:24:36,496
BUT I START TEARING UP
BECAUSE I GET EMOTIONAL, YO.
543
00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:38,670
ONE OF MY FRIENDS GONNA LAUGH
LIKE, "AH, YOU SCARED."
544
00:24:38,667 --> 00:24:39,967
YEAH, I WAS FUCKIN' SCARED.
545
00:24:39,967 --> 00:24:42,327
HE SAID HE HAD A GUN.
HE WAS GONNA KILL EVERYBODY.
546
00:24:42,333 --> 00:24:44,173
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
THAT YOU WASN'T SCARED?
547
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,930
I KNOW MY LIMITATIONS.
548
00:24:51,934 --> 00:24:52,934
TRYING TO BE
OUT HERE FUCKIN' AROUND.
549
00:24:52,934 --> 00:24:54,304
I SEE YOU LADIES LOOKING.
550
00:24:54,300 --> 00:25:00,400
YES, I AM 6' 6", 230, AND I DO
LOOK LIKE I CAN PROTECT YOU,
551
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,000
BUT I'M NOT THE PROTECTING TYPE,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
552
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,000
I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT SHIT
ABOUT ME UPFRONT
553
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,270
'CAUSE WE LIABLE TO BE ON A DATE
554
00:25:08,266 --> 00:25:11,766
AND I'M LIABLE TO DO
SOME SURPRISING SHIT LIKE RUN.
555
00:25:11,767 --> 00:25:13,097
LAST CHICK DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND THAT.
556
00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:14,800
SHE GONNA GET TO THE CAR
OUT OF BREATH LIKE,
557
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:15,870
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT ME."
558
00:25:15,867 --> 00:25:17,127
I'M LIKE, "BITCH,
I TAPPED YOU 3 TIMES
559
00:25:17,133 --> 00:25:19,373
LIKE LET'S GO, LET'S GO."
560
00:25:19,367 --> 00:25:20,567
THAT NIGGA WAS SERIOUS.
561
00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:26,797
I HAD TO GET THE FUCK
OUTTA THERE.
562
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,500
I DON'T NEED TO PROVE
MYSELF TO YOU.
563
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:29,500
I AIN'T NO THUG.
564
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,130
I DON'T WANT TO BE
NO GODDAMN THUG.
565
00:25:31,133 --> 00:25:32,403
THESE KIDS OUT HERE, IT'S CRAZY,
566
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,170
THEY GOT T-SHIRTS AND SHIT
WITH SLOGANS ON THEM:
567
00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:37,726
"STOP SNITCHING."
"SNITCHES GET STITCHES."
568
00:25:37,734 --> 00:25:40,034
WHAT? I'M GONNA GET
MY OWN FUCKIN' T-SHIRT.
569
00:25:40,033 --> 00:25:41,473
"STOP SHOOTING MOTHERFUCKERS.
570
00:25:41,467 --> 00:25:43,397
THEN I WON'T HAVE TO SNITCH."
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
571
00:25:46,467 --> 00:25:48,127
I THINK IT'S GONNA BE
A BIG SELLER.
572
00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:52,267
'CAUSE Y'ALL
DON'T UNDERSTAND ME.
573
00:25:52,266 --> 00:25:53,766
MAYBE I NEED TO TELL YOU
UPFRONT ABOUT ME.
574
00:25:53,767 --> 00:25:57,197
MY NAME IS TURAE,
AND I'M A SNITCH.
575
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,870
EVERYBODY UNDERSTAND
EACH OTHER NOW?
576
00:25:58,867 --> 00:26:00,327
YOU KNOW WHERE EACH OTHER'S AT?
577
00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:02,503
YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM.
I TOLD YOU UPFRONT.
578
00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,300
MY MAMA ALWAYS TOLD ME
YOU CAN'T NEVER BLAME A MAN
579
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:05,800
FOR BEING WHO THE FUCK HE IS.
580
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,470
I TOLD YOU WHO I AM.
NOW IT'S YOUR JOB
581
00:26:07,467 --> 00:26:10,467
NOT TO TAKE ME
EVERY-FUCKIN-WHERE.
582
00:26:10,467 --> 00:26:11,567
YOU GOING OUT
TO HAVE SOME DRINKS,
583
00:26:11,567 --> 00:26:12,567
I'M THE NIGGA TO ROLL WITH.
584
00:26:12,567 --> 00:26:13,567
I LIKE DRINKING.
585
00:26:13,567 --> 00:26:14,897
YOU GOING OUT TO KILL SOMEBODY,
586
00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:18,200
YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEAVE ME
THE FUCK HOME
587
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:19,670
'CAUSE I'M GONNA LET YOU KNOW
ABOUT MY REACTION,
588
00:26:19,667 --> 00:26:21,927
THAT I'M NOT GOING
TO JAIL WITH YOU.
589
00:26:21,934 --> 00:26:23,774
YOU EVER SEEN "CSI"
OR "NYPD BLUE"?
590
00:26:23,767 --> 00:26:25,127
THEY GOT THE GUY IN THE ROOM,
SLAPPING HIM AROUND,
591
00:26:25,133 --> 00:26:26,403
"YOU GONNA TELL US."
592
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,870
YOU AIN'T GOT TO DO
NONE OF THAT SHIT WITH ME.
593
00:26:27,867 --> 00:26:29,427
SOON AS THEY OPEN THE DOOR,
I'LL BE LIKE, "GET YOUR KEYS.
594
00:26:29,433 --> 00:26:30,403
WE CAN GO TO HIS HOUSE."
595
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,770
WE GET ON YOUR LAWN,
I'LL BE LIKE, "LET ME KNOCK, LET ME KNOCK."
596
00:26:35,767 --> 00:26:36,797
[IMITATES A KNOCK ON THE DOOR]
597
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:42,600
"COME ON OUT, HAKEEM,
THEY GOT US.
598
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,530
"SOMEBODY MUST HAVE
TIPPED THEM OFF.
599
00:26:44,533 --> 00:26:47,673
BITCH-ASS PIGS."
600
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:49,267
KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS.
601
00:26:49,266 --> 00:26:51,066
EVE THOUGH I'M BIG,
I'M NOT A THICK DUDE.
602
00:26:51,066 --> 00:26:52,326
I'M SKINNY.
603
00:26:52,333 --> 00:26:54,303
YOU GOT TO KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS
WHEN YOU'RE SKINNY.
604
00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:56,900
YOU CAN'T BE OUT HERE
WITH NO FUCKING TANK TOP ON.
605
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:58,970
YOU SEE THESE GUYS,
ALL THEY WEAR IS A TANK TOP?
606
00:26:58,967 --> 00:27:00,067
THEY BE OUT CHILLIN'.
607
00:27:00,066 --> 00:27:02,096
I DON'T HAVE WHAT YOU CALL
A TANK TOP BODY.
608
00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:05,070
I GOTTA PUT MY TANK TOP ON
OVER TOP OF SOMETHING,
609
00:27:05,066 --> 00:27:08,066
LIKE A HOODIE OR A SWEATER.
610
00:27:08,066 --> 00:27:10,226
I'M JUST SAYING, AIN'T NOTHING
SEXY WHEN YOUR TANK TOP
611
00:27:10,233 --> 00:27:11,833
IS SLIDING OFF YOUR SHOULDER
LIKE A NEGLIGEE.
612
00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:16,074
YO, MY NAME IS TURAE, MAN.
613
00:27:16,066 --> 00:27:17,466
Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
I'LL HOLLA AT YA.
614
00:27:17,467 --> 00:27:19,427
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
615
00:27:26,033 --> 00:27:27,303
- THAT'S A FUNNY MOTHERFUCKER.
616
00:27:27,300 --> 00:27:30,230
THAT'S A FUNNY DUDE.
617
00:27:30,233 --> 00:27:31,703
RIGHT, HE'S
A TELLING MOTHERFUCKER.
618
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:34,870
I WILL, TOO.
FUCK IT. HA.
619
00:27:34,867 --> 00:27:35,897
ALL RIGHT.
Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD TIME?
620
00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:37,330
- YEAH.
621
00:27:37,333 --> 00:27:39,033
- Y'ALL DIDN'T HEAR ME.
DID Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD TIME?
622
00:27:39,033 --> 00:27:40,773
- YEAH.
- STAND UP AND LET THEM KNOW IT.
623
00:27:40,767 --> 00:27:42,797
STAND UP AND LET THEM
KNOW IT THEN.
624
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,100
AND PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER
FOR THE MAN
625
00:27:44,100 --> 00:27:46,630
THAT MADE THIS ALL POSSIBLE--
RUSSELL SIMMONS.
626
00:27:46,633 --> 00:27:48,633
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
627
00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:53,500
- THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT.
GOD BLESS AND GOOD NIGHT.
628
00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,173
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
629
00:27:59,166 --> 00:28:02,166
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
HOME BOX OFFICE, INC.
630
00:28:02,166 --> 00:28:05,166
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
631
00:28:05,216 --> 00:28:09,766
Repair and Synchronization by
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