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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:22,130 - I THINK MICHAEL'S ON CRACK... 2 00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:23,673 MYSELF. 3 00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:27,467 ANYBODY THAT WILL FUCK THEIR FACE UP LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE, 4 00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,767 HE DOING SOMETHING. 5 00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:31,497 YEAH. I BET YOU MICHAEL'S AT HOME. 6 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,800 MICHAEL'S LIKE... 7 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,600 SSSS. 8 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,630 OOH! 9 00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:47,797 SSSS. 10 00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:08,703 SSSS. 11 00:01:10,633 --> 00:01:12,503 HO! 12 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:13,570 GOOD NIGHT, Y'ALL. 13 00:01:18,066 --> 00:01:22,296 - IT'S THE "RUSSELL SIMMONS' DEF COMEDY JAM" WITH YOUR HOST 14 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:26,070 D.L. HUGHLEY! 15 00:01:26,066 --> 00:01:27,526 TONIGHT'S GUESTS... 16 00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:29,433 DAVID ARNOLD... 17 00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:31,733 GERARD... 18 00:01:31,734 --> 00:01:33,874 TIMMY HALL... 19 00:01:33,867 --> 00:01:36,627 AND RASHEED! 20 00:01:36,633 --> 00:01:41,333 I AM YOUR MAN, THE WORLD'S GREATEST D.J., THE KID CAPRI! 21 00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:43,573 AND THIS IS COMEDY AT ITS BEST! 22 00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:48,097 LET'S GET IT ON WITH YOUR HOST D.L. HUGHLEY! 23 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,830 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY HOME BOX OFFICE, INC. 24 00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,004 - HEY, NOW. ONE MORE TIME. 25 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,800 DO IT FOR MY MAN KID CAPRI! 26 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,170 YEAH. 27 00:01:58,166 --> 00:01:59,666 I LIKE IT. 28 00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:01,827 PRETTY LADIES UP FRONT. GODDAMN. 29 00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:03,274 DON'T LOOK AWAY. THAT'S NOT GONNA STOP ME FROM 30 00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:04,266 FUCKING WITH YOU. 31 00:02:04,266 --> 00:02:05,766 HE'S LIKE... 32 00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:07,627 "DON'T LOOK AT HIM. 33 00:02:07,633 --> 00:02:10,873 IF YOU DON'T LOOK AT HIM, HE CAN'T SEE YOU." 34 00:02:10,867 --> 00:02:12,727 GODDAMN. THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S GOT ONE EYEBROW. 35 00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:14,574 GODDAMN! 36 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:18,127 EITHER THAT, OR A CATERPILLAR TAKING A NAP ON YOUR FOREHEAD. 37 00:02:18,133 --> 00:02:20,033 I THOUGHT YOU WAS OSCAR FROM SESAME STREET. 38 00:02:20,033 --> 00:02:21,703 AIN'T THAT-- 39 00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:23,030 GIVE ME A COOKIE. I KNOW YOU GOT A FUCKING COOKIE. 40 00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:25,673 GIVE ME A COOKIE. GOD-- 41 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,227 WELCOME TO "DEF JAM." IT'S GONNA BE A LITTLE ROUGH 42 00:02:27,233 --> 00:02:31,173 THIS YEAR BECAUSE THE NAACP BANNED THE WORD "NIGGER," 43 00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:34,966 WHICH FUCKED UP 45 MINUTES OF MY SHOW, SO... 44 00:02:34,967 --> 00:02:39,227 GOOD NIGHT. 45 00:02:39,233 --> 00:02:41,703 THERE'S MOTHERFUCKERS I CAN'T EVEN CALL IN MY FAMILY NO MORE. 46 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:46,300 "YOU DON'T CALL ME NO MORE." "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY NOW." 47 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,530 I KNOW IT'S A HORRIBLE WORD, BUT IT DESCRIBES SOME 48 00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:51,203 MOTHERFUCKERS I KNOW SO PERFECTLY. 49 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,670 EVERYBODY KNOW THAT ONE MOTHERFUCKER. 50 00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:57,497 EVERY TIME YOU SEE HIM COMING, "AW, THIS NIGGER HERE. GODDAMN. 51 00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,500 HOW DID HE GET MY NUMBER?" 52 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,300 IT ALL STARTED WITH THAT FUCKING KRAMER FROM "SEINFELD." 53 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,470 REMEMBER THIS MOTHERFUCKER? 54 00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,027 HE SAID NIGGER 8 TIMES BEFORE THE AUDIENCE 55 00:03:05,033 --> 00:03:07,503 DECIDED THEY WERE OFFENDED, WENT, "WAIT A MINUTE. 56 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,770 WAS THAT THE EIGHTH NIGGER RIGHT THERE? 57 00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:13,267 "THAT'S 8 NIGGERS, ISN'T THAT OVER THE NIGGER LIMIT? 58 00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:15,166 JESUS CHRIST!" 59 00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,996 LOOK AT ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE. "I WISH I COULD SAY THAT." 60 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,570 YOU CAN. JUST DON'T DO IT HERE. 61 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:25,903 YOU KNOW, DO IT IN YOUR CAR LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. 62 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,330 "NIGGER!" VRRRRRM! 63 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:32,173 VRRRRRM! 64 00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:34,926 TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS I KNOW BLACK MEN, AND I KNOW NIGGERS, 65 00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:36,374 AND THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. 66 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:38,627 IF I'M HANGING OUT AT A COOL RESTAURANT, BLACK MEN ARE COOL 67 00:03:38,633 --> 00:03:42,373 TO HANG OUT WITH, BUT IF A FIGHT BREAK OUT HERE TONIGHT, 68 00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:43,427 IT'S A NIGGER I'M GONNA CALL. 69 00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:45,933 FUCK Y'ALL. 70 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,574 AND THEY ACT LIKE THAT'S THE WORST THING, LIKE THAT-- 71 00:03:47,567 --> 00:03:48,627 I KNOW IT'S A HORRIBLE WORD. 72 00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:49,803 I DIG IT. I UNDERSTAND. 73 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,700 I UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE MAY NOT DIG IT. 74 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,730 I GET IT, BUT IT AIN'T THE WORST THING IN OUR COMMUNITY. 75 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,934 I MEAN, WE GOT AIDS, DRUGS, SINGLE 76 00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:58,634 PARENTS, SHITTY-ASS SCHOOLS, AND, YOU KNOW, THE WORST THING 77 00:03:58,633 --> 00:04:00,133 IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY AIN'T THE WORD NIGGER. 78 00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:02,703 IT'S THE FACT THAT, YOU KNOW, MORE PEOPLE--MORE BLACK PEOPLE 79 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:05,570 DIE FROM EATING FRIED FOODS AND NOT FUCKING EXERCISING 80 00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:06,927 THAN EVER HEARD THE WORD NIGGER. 81 00:04:06,934 --> 00:04:09,234 THAT'S THE FUCKING DEAL. THAT'S-- 82 00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:11,333 YOU DON'T-- 83 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:13,333 YOU DON'T GO TO THE DOCTOR, AND HE SAY, "YOU KNOW, 84 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,403 "YOUR CHOLESTEROL LEVEL'S GOOD, BUT HAVE YOU BEEN SAYING 85 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,670 NIGGER A LOT LATELY?" 86 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,070 AND ALL THESE LEADERS GET ON, 87 00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:25,496 "HEY, YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD STOP SAYING NIGGER." 88 00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:27,930 WELL, IF WE DO, Y'ALL WON'T HAVE A JOB. 89 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,334 HA HA HA! AND IF THE POLICE CAN'T SAY NIGGER, HOW THEY 90 00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,903 GONNA TELL US TO GET OUT OF THE CAR? 91 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,700 "GET OUT OF THE CAR, SIR." 92 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:36,830 THAT'S HOW THE FUCK IT IS, MAN. 93 00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,234 IT'S PEOPLE--SOME PEOPLE DO NIGGER SHIT. 94 00:04:38,233 --> 00:04:39,373 THAT'S THE FUCKING DEAL. 95 00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:41,427 I WAS IN NEW YORK. THIS IS A TRUE STORY, MAN. 96 00:04:41,433 --> 00:04:44,433 ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO, THESE BROTHERS SHOT A POLICE OFFICER 97 00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:45,973 AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP, 98 00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:48,297 AND, UM--LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER CLAPPING. 99 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,170 IT'S RODNEY KING YOUNGER BROTHER, HUH? 100 00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,666 SMOOTHIE KING. AIN'T THAT A BITCH? 101 00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:04,827 THIS MOTHERFUCKER. 102 00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:07,504 YOU TRYING TO FUCK THE SHOW UP? 103 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,570 LOOK AT ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE. 104 00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:11,167 "THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I"... 105 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:12,726 NO. HE WAS IN NEW YORK. THIS IS TRUE, MAN. 106 00:05:12,734 --> 00:05:14,104 I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP. 107 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,570 HE SHOT TWO POLICE OFFI--THESE TWO BROTHERS SHOT TWO POLICE 108 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,797 OFFICERS AND GOT AWAY WITH IT, AND THEY FOUND A BUCKET 109 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,770 OF CHICKEN--I SWEAR TO GOD--WITH THE FINGERPRINTS 110 00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,427 ON THE MOTHERFUCKER. 111 00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:25,803 THAT'S NIGGER SHIT RIGHT THERE. 112 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,700 FUCK YOU! 113 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,230 I COME HOME, AND A MOTHERFUCKER RUNNING DOWN 114 00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:33,003 THE STREET WITH MY COMPUTER, THAT AIN'T SIDNEY POITIER. 115 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,630 THAT'S THAT NIGGER THERE GODDAMN IT! 116 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:37,873 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE GET SO FUCKED UP WITH WORDS. 117 00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:39,997 IT IS WORDS THAT DO FUCK WITH ME LIKE--HEH 118 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:44,800 HEH--"I'M PREGNANT." 119 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,870 "YOUR CREDIT CARD WAS DECLINED." 120 00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:51,397 "THE POLICE IS AT THE DOOR." 121 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,670 OH, YOU AIN'T CLAP FOR THAT, DID YOU, YOU 122 00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:56,327 HOODLUM MOTHERFUCKER? 123 00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,033 Y'ALL READY TO KEEP THIS THING GOING? 124 00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:03,733 THIS IS HIS FIRST APPEARANCE ON "DEF JAM." 125 00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:06,474 ALL THE WAY FROM CLEVELAND, PUT YOUR MAN HANDS TOGETHER 126 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,067 LOUD AND STRONG FOR MY MAN DAVID ARNOLD! 127 00:06:09,066 --> 00:06:11,126 [HIP-HOP PLAYING] 128 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,570 - YEAH! 129 00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:20,667 OH, YES! 130 00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:21,697 HOW Y'ALL DOING? 131 00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:22,700 - [CHEERING] 132 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,430 - GIVE IT UP FOR D.L. AND KID CAPRI! 133 00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:30,133 SO LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT. 134 00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:32,203 HOW MANY PEOPLE STILL TAKING BATHS? 135 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,270 HOW MANY PEOPLE TAKING BATHS? 136 00:06:34,266 --> 00:06:35,826 BATHS. YEAH. GOOD. 137 00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:37,934 SIR, YOU A LITTLE TOO GODDAMN BIG TO BE 138 00:06:37,934 --> 00:06:40,404 TAKING A BATH, YOU UNDERSTAND? 139 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,830 MATTER OF FACT, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU SUBMERGED IN NO 140 00:06:42,834 --> 00:06:47,034 WATER IF YOUR ASS IS OLDER THAN 9, YOU UNDERSTAND? 141 00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:49,503 WOMEN THINK BATHS I GOOD BECAUSE THEY PUT BUBBLES 142 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:50,700 IN THE WATER. 143 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,470 THAT CAMOUFLAGE WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON. 144 00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:56,127 YOU EVER SEE WHAT BATH WATER LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU AIN'T GOT 145 00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,533 NO BUBBLES? 146 00:06:57,533 --> 00:07:00,303 AIN'T NO TIDE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 147 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,270 OH, I KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY NIGGER THAT HAD TIDE 148 00:07:02,266 --> 00:07:04,996 IN THE TUB. 149 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,470 TIDE MAKE THE BEST BUBBLES OF ALL, DON'T IT? 150 00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:10,167 YOU BE IN THAT WATER. "THIS SHIT IS INCREDIBLE." 151 00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:12,066 YOU BE CLEAN, BUT YOU BE ITCHING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER 152 00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:13,496 WHEN IT'S OVER. 153 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,930 "THIS IS"... 154 00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:18,304 SITTING IN SOME DIRTY-ASS WATER, JUST YOU, THE WATER, 155 00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,900 AND THE TRUTH, THAT'S IT. 156 00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:23,700 TAKE A SHOWER, AND WHEN YOU TAKE A SHOWER, DON'T TAKE NO 157 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,930 SHOWER WITH NOBODY ELSE, YOU UNDERSTAND? 158 00:07:25,934 --> 00:07:28,074 YOU AIN'T GOT ROOM IN YOUR SHOWER AT YOUR 159 00:07:28,066 --> 00:07:30,866 ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT. 160 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,927 BECAUSE ALWAYS THE GUY IN THE FRONT THE WATER HITTING HIM 161 00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:35,534 IN HIS STERNUM, AND THE WOMAN BEHIND LIKE A BITCH CAN'T GET 162 00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:36,633 NO WATER, HUH? 163 00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:39,503 YOU JUST GONNA STAND THERE, HUH? 164 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:45,500 HE MAD, LIKE, "THIS BITCH IS ALWAYS COMPLAINING." 165 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,430 I BROKE UP WITH A GIRL ONE TIME BECAUSE OF HER SHOWER ROUTINE. 166 00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:50,933 THE SHIT WAS SUSPECT. I DIDN'T LIKE IT. 167 00:07:50,934 --> 00:07:52,834 WE IN THE SHOWER, SHE DOING HER THING--KNEE, KNEE, 168 00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:54,534 SHOULDER, SHOULDER, ASS, FACE. 169 00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,803 I'M LIKE, "HOLD UP, BITCH." 170 00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:01,267 "DID YOU JUST PULL A LOOFA OUT YOUR ASS AND PUT IT 171 00:08:01,266 --> 00:08:02,896 "ON YOUR FACE? 172 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,070 "THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER. 173 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,396 THIS IS"-- 174 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,730 THIS BITCH GOT ZESTY ASS FACE. 175 00:08:08,734 --> 00:08:13,934 I DON'T LIKE IT. 176 00:08:13,934 --> 00:08:15,974 THE BATHROOM A SENSITIVE PLACE, AIN'T IT? 177 00:08:15,967 --> 00:08:17,767 YOU EVER GO TO SOMEBODY'S HOUSE AND SEE A HAIR 178 00:08:17,767 --> 00:08:19,267 ON THEIR SOAP? 179 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,996 THAT SHIT IS NASTY, AIN'T IT? 180 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,070 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME 181 00:08:23,066 --> 00:08:24,366 THE HAIR CAME FROM THE ASS. 182 00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:25,897 THAT'S ME. 183 00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,230 I DON'T GIVE A DAMN. 184 00:08:27,233 --> 00:08:30,503 IT COULD BE BLOND AND WRAPPED AROUND THE SOAP 12 TIMES, 185 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:33,230 I'M LOOKING AT IT LIKE, "NIGGER, THAT'S A LONG-ASS 186 00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:37,503 ASS HAIR WRAPPED AROUND THIS SOAP." 187 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,770 I'M FROM CLEVELAND. 188 00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:40,367 I LIVE IN L.A. NOW. 189 00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:41,467 I GOT ROAD RAGE. 190 00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:42,797 ANYBODY GOT ROAD RAGE? 191 00:08:46,033 --> 00:08:47,433 I WANT TO KILL EVERYBODY. 192 00:08:47,433 --> 00:08:49,873 IS THAT WRONG? IS THAT WRONG? 193 00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:51,497 DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? YOU KNOW WHAT I REALIZED? 194 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:54,030 IT'S PRESSURE DRIVING OUT HERE. YOU NOTICE THAT? 195 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,503 YOU KNOW THE WORST PRESSURE IS BEING THAT LEADOFF MAN 196 00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,070 AT THE LEFT TURN SIGNAL IN TRAFFIC. 197 00:08:58,066 --> 00:08:59,696 YOU EVER BEEN THIS DUDE? 198 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:02,170 YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF PRESSURE IT IS. 199 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,566 LEAD--I'M SITTING AT THE LIGHT, RIGHT? 200 00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:07,697 I GOT 12 PEOPLE IN MY REARVIEW MIRROR LOOKING AT ME 201 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:10,800 WITH BLOOD IN THEIR EYES, LIKE, "IF THIS NIGGER DON'T 202 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,970 TURN THE CORNER THE SECOND THIS LIGHT TURN GREEN." 203 00:09:14,967 --> 00:09:16,797 I'M NERVOUS. I'M LOOKING AT THE LIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE 204 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,870 LIKE, "I AIN'T GONNA FUCK IT UP. 205 00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,697 "I AIN'T GONNA FUCK IT UP. 206 00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,500 I GOT THIS ONE. I GOT THIS ONE!" 207 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,430 BECAUSE I'VE BEEN GUY NUMBER 12. 208 00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:25,973 YOU EVER BEEN GUY NUMBER 12? 209 00:09:25,967 --> 00:09:28,967 YOU MAD BECAUSE YOU AIN'T FIRST ANYWAY, AND YOU KNOW YOU 210 00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:31,867 GOT 11 IRRESPONSIBLE PEOPLE IN FRONT OF YOU. 211 00:09:31,867 --> 00:09:34,397 ANYBODY'S HESITATION GONNA COST YOU YOUR CHANCE OF MAKING 212 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,470 THAT LIGHT. 213 00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:38,667 SOON AS THE LIGHT TURN GREEN, I TURN INTO A CHEERLEADER. 214 00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:41,227 "GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!" 215 00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:43,433 AND YOU ALMOST GET THERE, BUT THE PERSON RIGHT IN FRONT 216 00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:45,503 OF YOU DECIDE TO STOP AT THE YELLOW LIGHT? 217 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,070 "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" 218 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,573 "YOU COULD HAVE MADE IT!" 219 00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:53,927 YOU'LL BE IN THE CAR BY YOURSELF, "WHAT THE FUCK 220 00:09:53,934 --> 00:09:55,504 "IS HE DOING? 221 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,730 "HE COULD HAVE MADE IT! 222 00:09:57,734 --> 00:09:58,904 "FUCK THE CAMERAS. 223 00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,870 DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE CAMERAS!" 224 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:04,227 EVERYBODY'S SO AGGRESSIVE, EVERYBODY EXCEPT 225 00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:05,703 FOR THE MERGERS. 226 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,770 THE MERGERS IS THE MOST HUMBLE GROUP OF DRIVERS YOU 227 00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:10,727 WILL EVER MEET BECAUSE THEY WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU. 228 00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:13,034 THEY WANT YOU TO LET THEM IN. 229 00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:17,273 FUCK THEM, YOU UNDERSTAND? 230 00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,396 WHEN I GET UP ON THEM, I TURN MY BODY IN THE SEAT JUST 231 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:25,670 A LITTLE BIT, LIKE, "NIGGER, I DON'T SEE YOU OVER THERE." 232 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,367 YOU TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS "DON'T NOBODY LOOK AT HIM. 233 00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:29,167 DON'T LOOK AT HIM." 234 00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:31,466 BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK AT HIM, YOU GOT TO LET HIM IN. 235 00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:34,867 THEY TRY TO EASE THEIR CAR UP, I EASE MY SHIT UP. 236 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:37,267 "I WILL HIT YOUR SHIT. 237 00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:39,396 "I WILL RUN THIS PINTO INTO THAT FUCKING HUMMER, 238 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,570 I SWEAR, NIGGER. 239 00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:41,727 MOVE IT AGAIN, MOVE IT AGAIN." 240 00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:49,427 I'M SO ANGRY. 241 00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:51,303 THE WORST IS WHEN YOU GET CAUGHT BEHIND TWO SLOW PEOPLE. 242 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,600 YOU EVER HAD THAT? 243 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,630 YOU BE JUMPING FROM LANE TO LANE, LOOKING FOR 244 00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:57,133 THAT LITTLE GAP. 245 00:10:57,133 --> 00:11:00,233 I'M LOOKING FOR 6 INCHES OF DAYLIGHT SO I CAN GET THROUGH. 246 00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:02,773 WHEN YOU GET THROUGH, BEFORE I TAKE OFF, I MAKE IT A POINT 247 00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:05,697 AND STOP AND LOOK AT THE PERSON THAT'S BEEN FUCKING OFF 248 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:09,170 MY DREAMS AND LET HIM KNOW "I WANT YOU TO KNOW I THINK YOU 249 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:10,226 AIN'T SHIT." 250 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,333 POW! AND I TAKE OFF. 251 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:18,100 I DID THIS A FEW--I DID THIS A FEW WEEKS AGO. 252 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,070 I SHOT AROUND THIS DUDE, BUT THEN I GOT CAUGHT 253 00:11:20,066 --> 00:11:22,026 AT THE LIGHT, LIKE, 20 FEET AHEAD. 254 00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:24,073 THE SAME GUY I WENT AROUND RODE UP ON ME AND WENT... 255 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,430 "OH, THAT SHIT WASN'T EVEN NECESSARY. 256 00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:35,573 WE STILL AT THE SAME SPOT." 257 00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:37,267 YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT HIM, SO YOU EASE YOUR CAR UP LIKE, 258 00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:39,096 "DON'T YOU JUDGE ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKER." 259 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,130 MY NAME'S DAVID ARNOLD. Y'ALL BE GOOD. 260 00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:43,133 [HIP-HOP PLAYING] 261 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:55,503 - THIS NEXT CAT INVITES YOU TO KICK BACK AND LAUGH. 262 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,170 PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR GERARD! 263 00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:01,126 [HIP-HOP PLAYING] 264 00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:13,397 - IS IT JUST ME, OR IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT A REALLY, 265 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,570 REALLY, REALLY NICE HOTEL MAKE YOU WANT TO FUCK AS SOON AS 266 00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:19,667 YOU CHECK IN? 267 00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:20,997 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT Y'ALL, BUT I'M A FOOL 268 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,470 AT A NICE HOTEL. 269 00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:24,297 NICE HOTEL, I DO EXTRA NASTY SHIT. 270 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:25,570 I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT Y'ALL SAY. 271 00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:27,227 I FINISH FUCKING, I TAKE MY RUBBER OFF, THROW IT 272 00:12:27,233 --> 00:12:28,273 ON THE WALL. 273 00:12:28,266 --> 00:12:29,426 "YEAH!" 274 00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:37,203 Y'ALL CAN "OOH AND AHH" IF YOU WANT TO, BUT FOR $119 275 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,770 A NIGHT, I'M GONNA WIPE MY DICK ON THE CURTAIN. 276 00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:41,397 I SURE AM. 277 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,270 "GIRL, LOOK AT THE SUN COMING UP ALREADY. 278 00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:45,666 "IT WAS DARK WHEN WE STARTED. 279 00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:49,397 LOOK AT THAT. THAT'S PURPLE AND ORANGE AND EVERYTHING." 280 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,430 NOW I KNOW I JUST SAID SOME NASTY SHIT, BUT Y'ALL LAUGHED, 281 00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:53,573 AND SO WE EVEN. 282 00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:55,527 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR SHIT ELSE ABOUT IT. 283 00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:56,873 I TELL YOU THIS, TOO, MAN. 284 00:12:56,867 --> 00:12:59,467 I LOVE WOMEN WITH PRETTY HANDS AND PRETTY FEET. 285 00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:00,797 DO Y'ALL HEAR ME? 286 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,170 PRETTY HANDS AND PRETTY--IT'S ALMOST LIKE A SICKNESS. 287 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,996 HONESTLY, SHE COULD BE UGLY AS FUCK, SHE GOT PRETTY HANDS 288 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,800 AND PRETTY FEET, SHE AT LEAST GOT TWO LONG ISLAND ICE TEAS 289 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,770 COMING IN HER DIRECTION, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 290 00:13:10,767 --> 00:13:12,997 PRETTY HAN--DO Y'ALL KNOW WHAT FRENCH-TIPPED NAILS ARE? 291 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,370 DO Y'ALL KNOW WHAT THAT IS? 292 00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:16,197 AS A MATTER OF FACT, LADIES, HOLD THEM IF YOU HAVE THEM. 293 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,900 FRENCH-TIPPED NAI--WHEN A WOMAN IS HOLDING MY DICK 294 00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:22,500 WITH SOME FRENCH-TIPPED NAILS, IT MAKE MY DICK LOOK LIKE IT 295 00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,870 GOT ON A LITTLE TUXEDO. 296 00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:26,097 THAT'S BRILLIANT, THAT'S BRILLIANT. 297 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:29,200 THAT IS BRILLIANT. IT'S MAJESTIC. 298 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,970 IT'S LIKE PROM NIGHT LOOKING UP UNDER THE SHEET. 299 00:13:30,967 --> 00:13:32,127 LOOK AT THE LITTLE MAN. 300 00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:34,673 LOOKS SO HANDSOME WITH THE LITTLE TUXEDO ON. 301 00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:35,827 LOOK HOW HANDSOME. 302 00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:36,934 Y'ALL SQUEEZE IN HERE, AND I'M GONNA TAKE 303 00:13:36,934 --> 00:13:38,104 A PICTURE BEFORE YOU LEAVE. 304 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,200 HEY, HEY, IF YOU'RE HAVING SEX, THAT'S GREAT, THAT'S 305 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,500 GREAT, BUT THAT DON'T MAKE IT GREAT SEX, RIGHT? 306 00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:51,130 GREAT SEX HAS TO DO WITH THE EXTRA SHIT. 307 00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,633 OTHERWISE, WE JUST DOING THE WORD. 308 00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:54,933 WE FORNICATE, WE COPULATE, BUT IF WE HAVING GOOD SEX, 309 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,274 IT HAS TO DO WITH THE EXTRA SHIT. 310 00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:59,296 NOW I'M GONNA TELL Y'ALL A STORY REAL QUICK, BUT BEFORE I 311 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:03,100 DO, I'M GONNA REMIND EVERYBODY I'M JUST A MAN, A MERE MAN, 312 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,970 BUT I KNOW EVERYBODY WHO HEARS ME SAY THIS AT SOME POINT OR 313 00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:09,197 ANOTHER IN THEIR LIFE HAS HAD THAT NIGHT. 314 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,300 Y'ALL REMEMBER THAT NIGHT? 315 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,800 IT WAS OFF THE CHAIN ON TOP OF YOUR BED. 316 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,170 YOU CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU WERE JUST DOING ON TOP OF YOUR-- 317 00:14:15,166 --> 00:14:17,826 IT WAS CIRQUE DU SOLEIL ON TOP OF YOUR BED 318 00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:19,204 ABOUT 5 MINUTES AGO. 319 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,030 YOU WERE OUTDONE WITH WHAT YOU WERE JUST DOING ON TOP OF YOUR 320 00:14:21,033 --> 00:14:23,003 BED, SO MUCH SO THAT YOU'RE SITTING AT THE EDGE OF YOUR 321 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,570 BED WITH YOUR HAND OVER YOUR FACE, TALKING TO 322 00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:26,127 YOURSELF OUT LOUD. 323 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:29,103 "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID ALL OF THAT. 324 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,770 "SHE IS SO NASTY. 325 00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,127 "I MEAN, SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA DO IT, 326 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,633 "BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID IT. 327 00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:36,873 "SHE IS SO NASTY. 328 00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:38,597 "AS SOON AS SHE LEAVES, I'M GONNA CALL 329 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,600 "AND TELL EVERYBODY! 330 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,970 SHE'S SO NASTY." 331 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,927 BECAUSE YOU'RE SO ENAMORED WITH WHAT SHE JUST DID, YOU'RE 332 00:14:45,934 --> 00:14:47,504 NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE'S DOING NOW. 333 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,830 YOU STILL GOT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR FACE, AND ALL 334 00:14:48,834 --> 00:14:50,474 OF A SUDDEN, YOU FEEL A HOT RAG ON YOUR DICK. 335 00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:51,797 YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD! 336 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,830 "SHE WIPED MY DICK OFF WITH A HOT RAG! 337 00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:56,834 "I AM GOING TO ZALES IN THE MORNING. 338 00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:59,404 "I AM PREPARED TO MARY THIS MOTHERFUCKER TOMORROW. 339 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,130 ALREADY GOT A TUXEDO." 340 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,700 THAT HOT RAG IS A MONSTER, LADIES. 341 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,200 IT WILL CHANGE THE RELATIONSHIP. 342 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,300 IF YOUR MAN IS NOT READY FOR IT, HE'LL BREAK UP WITH YOUR ASS. 343 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,500 YOU COME IN THERE WITH A HOT RAG, HE'LL BE LIKE, "UH, 344 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,300 THINGS ARE MOVING TOO FAST. 345 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,370 "NOT READY FOR ALL THAT. 346 00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,727 IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME." 347 00:15:15,734 --> 00:15:18,234 BUT I JUST FOUND THIS OUT, AND THIS IS THE TRUTH. 348 00:15:18,233 --> 00:15:20,573 JUST FOUND OUT THAT AFTER A GREAT NIGHT OF LOVEMAKING 349 00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:23,027 LADIES LIKE IT WHEN A MAN BRINGS HER A HOT RAG BACK INTO 350 00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:24,433 THE ROOM, ALL RIGHT? 351 00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:26,803 YOU HEAR ONE LADY CLAPPING. 352 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,900 AND THAT'S NOT--THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW THIS IS 353 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:30,230 WHAT WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. 354 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,603 FELLAS, IF YOU GOT YOUR CHICK WITH YOU, I WANT YOU TO LOOK 355 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,930 AT HER IN HER FACE WHILE I DESCRIBE THIS. 356 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,504 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOUR WOMAN WANTS YOU TO DO. 357 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,630 FELLAS, THE NEXT NIGHT YOU HAVE OF GOOD LOVEMAKING--AND 358 00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:40,803 IT HAS TO BE THAT. 359 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,330 IT CAN'T BE, LIKE, 4 SECONDS. PPPT! 360 00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,573 "I'M GONNA GO GET A RAG." 361 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:44,967 NOT THAT. 362 00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:46,597 THE NEXT TIME YOU PUT IT DOWN, FELLAS, THE NEXT TIME YOU 363 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,830 BREAK YOUR BACK OFF IN THERE, BREAK A SWEAT, GET YOUR ASS 364 00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:52,874 UP, FELLAS, GO TO THE BATHROOM, AND GET A RAG. 365 00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:58,267 A CLEAN RAG, NOT THE ONE YOU BEEN HITTING THE RIMS WITH. 366 00:15:58,266 --> 00:16:00,496 THAT WOULD BE WRONG AND FOUL. 367 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,100 DON'T GET THAT RAG YOU ALREADY USED THAT GOT SOAP DRIED UP 368 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,200 ON THE SHOWER ROD. 369 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,430 YOU'LL SCRATCH YOUR PUBICS OFF WITH THAT. 370 00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:07,073 DON'T DO THAT. 371 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:10,196 FELLAS, GET A CLEAN RAG, PUT SOME SCALDING HOT WATER 372 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,700 INTO THAT CLEAN RAG. 373 00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,770 WRING THAT SCALDING HOT WATER OUT OF THAT RAG. 374 00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:15,427 COME ON BACK IN THE ROOM AND GO AHEAD 375 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,433 AND WIPE HER MOUTH OFF. 376 00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:19,733 I'M GERARD. Y'ALL BEEN SWEET. 377 00:16:19,734 --> 00:16:22,234 THANK YOU. PEACE. 378 00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:24,203 - PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR BALTIMORE CITY 379 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,300 POLICE OFFICER TIMMY HALL! 380 00:16:28,934 --> 00:16:33,434 - WHAT'S UP, "DEF JAM?" Y'ALL MAKE SOME NOISE! 381 00:16:33,433 --> 00:16:35,573 OH, MAN! I KNOW Y'ALL LOOKING ME LIKE, 382 00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,827 "HE A POLICE OFFICER?" 383 00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,134 Y'ALL DON'T LIKE DOES, DO Y'ALL? 384 00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:39,933 YEAH, FUCK Y'ALL, TOO. 385 00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:42,204 I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I AIN'T THERE TO HELP NONE OF Y'ALL. 386 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,770 I'M THERE FOR THE BENEFITS AND THE CREDIT UNION, NIGGER. 387 00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:46,267 I AIN'T THERE FOR SHIT ELSE. 388 00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:47,696 I'M A PUNK-ASS POLICE. 389 00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,530 I DON'T GET INVOLVED IN SHIT. 390 00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:51,233 MY SON'S TALKING ABOUT, "DADDY, YOU FIGHT CRIME." 391 00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:52,603 NIGGER, I DON'T EVEN FIGHT SLEEP. 392 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,770 I GET TIRED RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA LAY THE FUCK DOWN. 393 00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:57,297 I'M A PO--I DON'T HELP NOBODY OUT. 394 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,770 LADY CALLED THE OTHER DAY, TALKING ABOUT, "OFFICER, 395 00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,967 MY HUSBAND IN THE HOUSE WITH A GUN. 396 00:16:59,967 --> 00:17:00,997 HE GONNA KILL ME." 397 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,100 I SAID, "WELL, BITCH, GET IN THE CAR. 398 00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,930 "BITCH, GET IN THE CAR. HE AFTER YOU, NOT ME. 399 00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:04,974 "IF I GOT SHOT, I SWEAR TO GOD, 400 00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:05,997 "I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU, BITCH. 401 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,600 GET IN THE CAR." 402 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,300 I DON'T EVEN HELP FELLOW POLICE OFFICERS, THOUGH. 403 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,370 FUCK THEM! 404 00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,567 OFFICER DOWN, HE DOWN, I'M UP. 405 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,467 I GOT ON THE RADIO. "WHAT'S THE LOCATION?" 406 00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,367 BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO RUN INTO THAT SHIT BY ACCIDENT. 407 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:19,867 I'M LIKE, "WHERE'S THE SUSPECT?" 408 00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:22,167 "THE SUSPECT IS STILL AT LARGE. WHERE YOU AT?" 409 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,426 I SAY, "I'M HOME WATCHING THIS SHIT ON THE NEWS. 410 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:26,473 THAT NIGGER DANGEROUS." 411 00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:29,027 I DON'T GET INVOLVED IN SHIT! 412 00:17:29,033 --> 00:17:30,403 I GOT TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT, THOUGH, BECAUSE I 413 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,570 REALIZED SOMETHING. WOMEN, Y'ALL GET A MOTHERFUCK-- 414 00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:34,127 MY WIFE DON'T GO TO NO CLUBS WITH ME. 415 00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:35,773 YOU KNOW WHEN YOU CAN'T FIGHT THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEBODY WANT 416 00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:37,297 TO GET YOU INVOLVED IN A FIGHT? 417 00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,800 YOU EVER GO TO A CLUB WITH YOUR WOMAN, SHE GET INVOLVED 418 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,070 IN AN ARGUMENT WITH A GUY BIGGER THAN YOU AND STARING 419 00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:42,326 AT YOU LIKE YOU SUPPOSED TO HURT HIM? 420 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:45,103 I'M STARING RIGHT BACK HER, JUST... 421 00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:46,670 "THAT GUY OVER THE TRYING TO GET MY PHONE NUMBER." 422 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,697 I SAID, "WELL, GIVE IT TO HIM. HE CUTE." 423 00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,070 WOMEN ALWAYS TRY TO FUCK WITH YOU. 424 00:17:51,066 --> 00:17:52,226 "WHY DON'T YOU BE A MAN FOR A CHANGE?" 425 00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:53,403 "BITCH, I AIN'T BEEN A MAN ALL THIS TIME. 426 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,500 "WHY AM I STARTING NOW? 427 00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:55,900 "I BEEN A PUNK ALL MY LIFE. 428 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:59,270 YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO CHANGE SOMEBODY." 429 00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:00,866 I GO OVER TO THE GUY AND SAY, "EXCUSE ME, SIR. 430 00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,097 WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" HE SAID, "MY NAME MIKE." 431 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,300 I SAID, "I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT. I WANT TO TALK. 432 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,330 MY WIFE LIKE NICE THINGS. 433 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,533 YOU GOT A JOB?" HE SAID, "YEAH." 434 00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:06,603 I SAID, "HOW MUCH YOU MAKE A YEAR?" 435 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,700 HE SAID, "500,000." 436 00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,600 I SAID, "WHATEVER, MIKE. 437 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,770 "LET ME ASK YOU ANOTHER QUESTION, MIKE. 438 00:18:10,767 --> 00:18:11,867 "MY WIFE LIKE NICE CARS. YOU GOT A NICE CAR?" 439 00:18:11,867 --> 00:18:13,627 HE SAID, "YEAH." "WHAT KIND OF CAR YOU GOT?" 440 00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:16,873 HE SAID, "A MERCEDES-BENZ." I SAID, "WHATEVER, MIKE." 441 00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,227 I SAID, "LET ME ASK YOU ANOTHER QUESTION." 442 00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:19,703 HE SAID, "WHAT?" I SAID, "YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND?" 443 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,170 HE SAID, "NO." I SAID, "YOU WANT ONE? 444 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,266 "BECAUSE YOU EVERYTHING I'M LOOKING FOR. FUCK HER! 445 00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:24,526 "NIGGER, SHE DON'T EVEN SUCK DICK. 446 00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:29,703 YOU DON'T NEED THAT BULLSHIT." 447 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,330 I LOVE YOU WOMEN. I DO! 448 00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:33,603 I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT WOMEN. 449 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,770 I REALIZE, WOMEN, Y'ALL SELFISH AS FUCK, GEE. 450 00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:37,567 ANOTHER THING. WHEN IT COME TO SEX, WOMEN, 451 00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:39,797 Y'ALL WANT TOO FUCKING MUCH OUT OF MAN. 452 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,230 Y'ALL DO. I ROLLED OVER ON MY WIFE THE OTHER DAY. 453 00:18:41,233 --> 00:18:42,573 SHE'S TALKING ABOUT, "YOU BETTER GET OFF OF ME." 454 00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:43,927 I SAID, "WHAT'S WRONG?" "YOU BETTER TOUCH ME, LICK ME, 455 00:18:43,934 --> 00:18:46,274 CARESS ME, AND GET ME WET." 456 00:18:46,266 --> 00:18:47,666 SO I SPIT ON HER ASS. 457 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,897 "YOU WET NOW? SHIT. I GOT TO WORK TOMORROW. 458 00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:51,100 "I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS BULLSHIT. 459 00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:53,370 "YOU KNOW I'M LAZY. 460 00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:56,797 WHAT THE FUCK WRONG WITH YOU?" 461 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,530 BUT I WILL SAY THIS IN Y'ALL WOMEN'S DEFENSE. 462 00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:00,133 MEN, WE DO GET LAZY WHEN IT COME TO SEX. 463 00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:02,333 YOU GOT TO PUT IT DOWN IN 2007, GOT TO PUT THAT 464 00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:03,933 SHIT DOWN. 465 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,634 YOU GOT TO TRY DIFFERENT STUFF. 466 00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:06,973 YOU GOT TO TRY CRAZY. 467 00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:08,597 YOU EVER MAKE LOVE TO SOMEBODY IN THE BED AND SOME SHIT 468 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,500 HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT AND YOU REALIZE YOU LIKE IT? 469 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,670 LIKE, MEN, YOU EVER MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN AND SHE COUGH 470 00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:15,327 AND HER VAGINA MUSCLES JUST WRAP AROUND YOUR DICK, 471 00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:16,903 JUST, "UNH, UNH, UNH!" 472 00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:18,800 NIGGER, YOU BETTER FIND A GIRL WITH THE FLU OR SOME SHIT. 473 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,770 "UNH, UNH, UNH, UNH!" 474 00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:21,997 I'M TELLING YOU. 475 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,370 I'M TRYING TO FIND ME A GIRL WITH ASTHMA. 476 00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:25,597 I CAN'T WAIT, NIGGER! 477 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,270 YOU MAKE TO A GIRL WITH ASTHMA, JUST... 478 00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:32,696 [WHEEZING] 479 00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:36,170 SHIT! 480 00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:39,126 LOVE SEX. 481 00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:40,603 THAT'S RIGHT. 482 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,270 THEY SAID IF I TALK ABOUT SEX, TALK ABOUT SAFE SEX, 483 00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:43,566 WEAR A CONDOM. 484 00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:44,927 SHIT. I WEAR A CONDOM WHEN I JERK OFF. 485 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,574 I DON'T TRUST MYSELF. 486 00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,527 I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK I BEEN. 487 00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:50,773 COUPLE THINGS YOU GOT TO KNOW. LIKE, THIS FOR THE WOMEN. 488 00:19:50,767 --> 00:19:52,927 TELL THEM. MEN, IF YOU AIN'T A MANGUM MAN, STOP WEARING 489 00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:55,934 MAGNUM CONDOMS. 490 00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,974 I PUT THAT SHIT ON, I GOT DUCT TAPE AND STAPLES 491 00:19:57,967 --> 00:19:59,797 AROUND MY SHIT. 492 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:00,830 I SAID, "WHAT YOU LAUGHING AT?" 493 00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:02,174 "YOUR DICK LIKE A JELLY BEAN IN ZIPLOC." 494 00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:03,326 "FUCK YOU, BITCH." 495 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:09,670 I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT NONE OF YOU. 496 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,097 I KNOW MY DICK'S SMALL. FUCK YOU. 497 00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,370 MY MOTHER SAID, "AS LONG AS YOU TRY, 498 00:20:12,367 --> 00:20:13,427 YOU STILL A WINNER." 499 00:20:13,433 --> 00:20:14,733 FUCK ALL Y'ALL. 500 00:20:14,734 --> 00:20:17,674 I'M A WINNER IN MY EYES. 501 00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:19,267 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. YOU KNOW YOUR DICK'S SMALL 502 00:20:19,266 --> 00:20:21,096 WHEN A GIRL CAN SUCK YOUR DICK AND TALK NORMAL. 503 00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,070 SHE ON THE CELL LIKE, "OH. I'M STRAIGHT. 504 00:20:23,066 --> 00:20:24,996 "DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT. WE ALL RIGHT. 505 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,200 "DON'T EVEN WORRY. I'M ALL RIGHT, MA. 506 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,330 HOW YOU BEEN, MA?" 507 00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:34,373 HA! 508 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,367 LOVE SEX! 509 00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:37,767 NOW I'M WATCHING PORNO FILMS AND SHIT. 510 00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:41,167 ANYBODY WATCH PORNO FILMS? DON'T LIKE, NIGGER. 511 00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,866 I EVEN WENT OUT AND BOUGHT A 65-INCH TV TO WATCH THAT SHIT. 512 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,967 THAT WAS THE WORST THING I EVER FUCKING DID BECAUSE THAT 513 00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:47,797 SHIT IS TOO FUCKING REAL IN THEM PLASMA TVs. 514 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,770 IT'S LIKE YOU REALLY FUCKING THERE. 515 00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:50,997 I'M WATCHING A PORNO FILM. 516 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,530 THIS MOTHERFUCKER WALKING TOWARD THE CAMERA, 517 00:20:52,533 --> 00:20:54,003 HIS DICK JUST SWINGING. 518 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,400 NEXT THING I KNOW, HIS DICK IN MY MOUTH. 519 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,930 I'M LIKE, "WHAT THE FUCK?" 520 00:20:56,934 --> 00:20:59,474 "I'M READY TO BACK UP. SO TAKE YOUR HAT OFF, NIGGER." 521 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,730 GLAD Y'ALL ENJOYING YOURSELF. 522 00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,174 I'M READY TO GET OUT OF HERE, MAN. 523 00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:10,626 I LOVE Y'ALL, THOUGH, BUT I'M SAYING RIGHT NOW, A LOT 524 00:21:10,633 --> 00:21:11,973 OF THINGS I CAN'T TALK ABOUT ONSTAGE. 525 00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:13,967 BEING A POLICE OFFICER, I CAN'T TALK ABOUT MARIJUANA 526 00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:18,527 BECAUSE I CAN'T SMOKE MARIJUANA, BUT I CAN SMELL IT. 527 00:21:18,533 --> 00:21:19,833 I PULLED A CAR OVER THE OTHER DAY. 528 00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:20,934 MOTHERFUCKER HAD WEED. 529 00:21:20,934 --> 00:21:22,304 I WAS AT THAT BITCH FOR 3 HOURS, "LICENSE"... 530 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:23,770 [INHALES] 531 00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:26,767 "AND REG-I-STRA-TION." 532 00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:27,997 I WAS AT THAT BITCH SO LONG, I FORGOT WHAT I PULLED 533 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,030 HIM OVER FOR. 534 00:21:29,033 --> 00:21:31,173 "HOW YOUR MOTHER DOING?" 535 00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,666 YOU KNOW, NOWADAYS, YOU CAN'T SMOKE. 536 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:33,897 REMEMBER, BACK IN THE DAY, YOU SMOKE A JOINT, 537 00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:35,300 YOU LAUGHED, YOU GIGGLED, IT WAS OVER. 538 00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:36,570 YOU SMOKE A JOINT NOW, YOU LIABLE TO DO ANY 539 00:21:36,567 --> 00:21:38,227 FUCKING THING. 540 00:21:38,233 --> 00:21:39,833 IF YOU SMOKE WEED, STAY THE FUCK IN THE--YOU EVER 541 00:21:39,834 --> 00:21:42,134 SMOKE A JOINT, WALK IN THE MALL, AND SIT DOWN IN FOOTLOCKER? 542 00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:43,303 THEY LIKE, "CAN I HELP YOU?" 543 00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,130 "WHAT TIME THE GAME START, NIGGER. 544 00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:46,803 "ALL THESE REFEREES IN THIS BITCH, AIN'T NO GAME? 545 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,200 "THAT SOME BULLSHIT! SOMEBODY LYING. 546 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,930 I GOT SEASON TICKETS IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER." 547 00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:58,166 AND IN BALTIMORE, THEY TALKING ABOUT MAKING DRUGS LEGAL 548 00:21:58,166 --> 00:22:00,296 BECAUSE THEY SAYING THE CRIME'S SO BAD IN BALTIMORE. 549 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:01,700 I SAID, "IF YOU MAKE DRUGS LEGAL, 550 00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:03,600 YOU GOT TO MAKE THAT SHIT LEGAL FOR EVERYBODY, 551 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,170 EVEN POLICE OFFICERS." 552 00:22:05,166 --> 00:22:06,666 A POLICE OFFICER'S HIGH ON MARIJUANA, YOU'LL NEVER 553 00:22:06,667 --> 00:22:08,027 GET A TICKET. 554 00:22:08,033 --> 00:22:09,803 THAT NIGGER PULL YOU OVER. ROOP ROOP. 555 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,770 "LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, MOTHERFUCKER. 556 00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:14,297 LOOK. I PULLED YOU OVER BECAUSE YOU RAN THAT STOP SIGN 557 00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:15,970 "BACK THERE. 558 00:22:15,967 --> 00:22:17,897 "WE CAN FORGET ALL ABOUT THAT SHIT FOR THEM BAG OF CHIPS YOU 559 00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:22,200 GOT SITTING IN YOUR LAP, THOUGH, SHORTY." 560 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,130 "DEF JAM," I'M TIMMY HALL, BABY. 561 00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:26,133 [HIP-HOP PLAYING] 562 00:22:33,533 --> 00:22:36,733 - NOW I SAW THIS CAT A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, AND HE--IN 563 00:22:36,734 --> 00:22:39,334 COMEDY CLUBS ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY, THEY CALL HIM "THE 564 00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:40,803 TRUTH," AND HE EARNS IT. 565 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,770 FROM BROOKLYN, PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR MY 566 00:22:42,767 --> 00:22:44,367 MAN RASHEED! 567 00:22:44,367 --> 00:22:46,397 [HIP-HOP PLAYING] 568 00:22:52,734 --> 00:22:54,934 - WHAT'S GOOD? 569 00:22:54,934 --> 00:22:56,704 WHAT UP? 570 00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:59,100 Y'ALL GOOD? - YEAH! 571 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:03,870 - I'M THE FIRST NIGGER IN MY FAMILY IN L.A. HOLLA. 572 00:23:03,867 --> 00:23:05,167 I LOVE MY FAMILY. 573 00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:08,996 CLAP IF YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY. 574 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,670 EVEN IF THEY CRAZY, YOU GOT TO LOVE THEM. 575 00:23:11,667 --> 00:23:14,097 I GOT A UNCLE ON DOPE. 576 00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:17,300 ALL THE KIDS CALL HIM UNCLE DOPE. 577 00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:18,870 THEY BE LIKE, "UNCLE DOPE, GIVE ME A DOLLAR." 578 00:23:18,867 --> 00:23:20,327 "YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL"... 579 00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:45,403 "I AIN'T GOT NO GODDAMN DOLLAR." 580 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,730 Y'ALL KNOW ABOUT DOPE FIENDS? 581 00:23:47,734 --> 00:23:49,234 OH, THEY FUNNIER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER. 582 00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:50,733 I LOVE MY UNCLE BECAUSE HE FLY. 583 00:23:50,734 --> 00:23:52,134 HE AIN'T NO DIRTY DUDE. 584 00:23:52,133 --> 00:23:55,673 HE WEAR ALL THE BRAND-NEW OLD CLOTHES. 585 00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:58,797 YOU KNOW, HE GOT NEW CLOTHES FROM 1982, YOU KNOW. 586 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,200 HE BE WALKING AROUND WITH HIS BRAND-NEW OLD CLOTHES, AND I'M 587 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,300 LIKE, "UNCLE DOPE, HOW YOU KEEP YOUR SHOES SO NEW 588 00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:06,730 AND THEM SHIT'S 25 YEARS OLD?" 589 00:24:06,734 --> 00:24:09,104 HE SAID, "I DON'T SMOKE NO REEFER." 590 00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:11,300 BECAUSE THAT'S HOW DOPE FIENDS TALK. 591 00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:13,770 I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU'RE A MAN OR A WOMAN, SOON AS YOU 592 00:24:13,767 --> 00:24:15,497 SHOOT THAT HEROIN, THIS HOW YOU SOUND. 593 00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:16,700 [CRAGGY VOICE] OH, SHIT. 594 00:24:19,567 --> 00:24:21,567 ONE TIME, MY MOTHER WAS LIKE, CALL UNCLE DOPE HOUSE. 595 00:24:21,567 --> 00:24:22,767 TELL HIM SOME SHIT. 596 00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:24,067 I CALL ON THE PHONE. THE PONE RUNG. 597 00:24:24,066 --> 00:24:25,166 BBBBBBL. 598 00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:26,296 [CRAGGY VOICE] "HELLO?" 599 00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:27,370 I SAID, "YEAH, UNCLE DOPE, MOMMY SAID"-- 600 00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:30,497 "NO, THIS BARBARA." 601 00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:31,800 I SAID, "HI, AUNT BARBARA. 602 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,630 LET ME SPEAK TO UNCLE DOPE." 603 00:24:33,633 --> 00:24:35,173 SHE SAID, "HOLD ON." 604 00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,996 YOU KNOW, I'M ON THE PHONE FOR 5 FUCKING MINUTES. 605 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,700 I'M ABOUT TO HANG UP. I'M LIKE, "THEY FUCKING 606 00:24:39,700 --> 00:24:41,870 WITH MY DAY MINUTES NOW," YOU KNOW? 607 00:24:41,867 --> 00:24:43,397 THEY GONNA COME BACK TO THE PHONE, "HELLO?" 608 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,500 I SAID, "YEAH, UNCLE DOPE, MOMMY SAID"-- 609 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:45,830 "NO, THIS STILL BARBARA." 610 00:24:51,166 --> 00:24:53,396 I SAID, "UNCLE DOPE, HOW YOU KEEP YOUR SHOES SO NEW?" 611 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,800 HE SAID, "I DON'T SMOKE NO REEFER." 612 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,200 I SAID, "NIGGER, WHAT DO SMOKING REEFER GOT TO DO WITH MY SHOES?" 613 00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,370 HE SAID, "BIRST OF BALL"-- 614 00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:03,497 RIGHT. BECAUSE THEY DON'T SAY, "FIRST OF ALL." 615 00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:06,130 THEY GO, "BIRST OF BALL, YOU GOT TO RUN 616 00:25:06,133 --> 00:25:07,433 TO THE REEFER SPOT"... 617 00:25:13,767 --> 00:25:15,427 "THEN YOU AND YOUR BUDDIES, Y'ALL GOT TO RUN DOWN 618 00:25:15,433 --> 00:25:18,133 "THE STREET AND GET YOU ONE OF THEM DAMN CIGARS. 619 00:25:18,133 --> 00:25:20,503 "THEN Y'ALL SIT ON THE STOOP, AND YOU ROLL UP YOUR LITTLE, 620 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,800 "STUPID-ASS REEFERS. 621 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,370 "THEN Y'ALL RUN UP ON THE BUILDING. 622 00:25:24,367 --> 00:25:27,327 "YOU SMOKE YOUR LITTLE, STUPID-ASS REEFERS. 623 00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:30,133 "THEN Y'ALL GO BACK TO THE STORE WHEN YOU FINISHED 624 00:25:30,133 --> 00:25:32,773 "BECAUSE YOU HUNGRY. 625 00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:37,327 SEE, THAT PUT A LOT OF WEAR AND TEAR ON YOUR SHOES." 626 00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:38,573 HE SAID, "I GET A BAG OF DOPE, 627 00:25:38,567 --> 00:25:42,267 I BE HERE ALL MOTHERFUCKING DAY." 628 00:25:42,266 --> 00:25:46,566 SAID, "I DON'T NEVER FUCK UP MY SHOES." 629 00:25:46,567 --> 00:25:48,297 I LOVE MY UNCLE DOPE. 630 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:49,800 ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. 631 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,370 WE BROUGHT HIM TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK. 632 00:25:52,367 --> 00:25:54,097 YOU KNOW, WE TOOK HIM TO THE AMUSEMENT PARK. 633 00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:55,630 WE AIN'T TELL IT COST NOTHING. 634 00:25:55,633 --> 00:25:58,133 WE JUST TOLD HIM IT WAS FROM THE CHURCH, YOU KNOW, 635 00:25:58,133 --> 00:25:59,773 MY GRANDMOTHER'S CHURCH. 636 00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:02,897 SO HE WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO." 637 00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:05,330 AND NIGHT BEFORE WAS THE BEST SHIT BECAUSE HE LAID ALL HIS 638 00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:08,933 BRAND-NEW OLD CLOTHES OUT, AND HE STANDING IN FRONT 639 00:26:08,934 --> 00:26:12,734 OF THEM, DANCING, YOU KNOW, THE DOPE FIEND DANCE. 640 00:26:12,734 --> 00:26:17,374 "I'M GONNA BE OFF THE HOOK." 641 00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:19,867 WE ALL GET OUT TO THE AMUSEMENT PARK, AND EVERYBODY LOVING 642 00:26:19,867 --> 00:26:22,627 HIM, THE KIDS RUNNING AROUND, "UNCLE DOPE, UNCLE DOPE, 643 00:26:22,633 --> 00:26:24,633 GIVE ME A DOLLAR." AND HE GOT THIS MOVE. 644 00:26:24,633 --> 00:26:25,733 HE BE LIKE, "GET THE"-- 645 00:26:27,467 --> 00:26:28,827 YOU EVER SEEN--YOU EVER SEEN THAT SHIT? 646 00:26:28,834 --> 00:26:30,004 "Y'ALL BETTER GET THE FUCK"-- 647 00:26:32,533 --> 00:26:34,633 "FUCKING AROUND AND SHIT." 648 00:26:37,934 --> 00:26:39,674 SO ALL THE KIDS JUMPING AROUND, AND WE HAVING 649 00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,327 A GOOD-ASS TIME. 650 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:44,073 MY AUNT GONNA COME TO THE FUCKING--WHERE WE WAS 651 00:26:44,066 --> 00:26:46,166 EATING AND GO, "UNCLE DOPE, YOU BETTER 652 00:26:46,166 --> 00:26:47,796 "GET ON ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING RIDES. 653 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,030 WE PAID $40 FOR YOU TO BE HERE." 654 00:26:53,533 --> 00:26:58,003 THAT NIGGER FOUND OUT THAT TRIP COST $40, LOST IT. 655 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,530 RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AMUSEMENT PARK, HE WAS 656 00:26:59,533 --> 00:27:00,903 LIKE, "WHAT?!" 657 00:27:08,633 --> 00:27:13,473 "$40?! FOR RIDES?" 658 00:27:13,467 --> 00:27:14,697 HE SAID, "BITCH, YOU KNOW WHAT KIND 659 00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:19,200 OF RIDE I COULD HAVE BEEN ON FOR 40 GODDAMN--I SHOULD 660 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,430 KNOCK THE SHIT OUT YOU." 661 00:27:21,433 --> 00:27:23,233 HEY. MY NAME RASHEED. GOOD NIGHT, Y'ALL. 662 00:27:23,233 --> 00:27:25,203 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 663 00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:34,600 - LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 664 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,000 HAVE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME? 665 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,200 WELL, ACT LIKE YOU KNOW. 666 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,370 STAND UP AND GIVE THEM SOME, Y'ALL. 667 00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:40,897 AND HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE MAN WHO MADE 668 00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:42,130 THIS ALL POSSIBLE? 669 00:27:42,133 --> 00:27:43,833 GIVE IT UP FOR MY MAN RUSSELL SIMMONS! 670 00:27:43,834 --> 00:27:45,134 - DO SOMETHING! 671 00:27:45,133 --> 00:27:47,173 [HIP-HOP PLAYING] 672 00:27:49,233 --> 00:27:52,173 - THANK YOU FOR COMING. GOD BLESS YOU, GOOD NIGHT. 673 00:27:52,166 --> 00:27:54,266 [HIP-HOP PLAYING] 674 00:27:54,266 --> 00:27:57,266 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY HOME BOX OFFICE, INC. 675 00:27:57,266 --> 00:28:00,896 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 676 00:28:00,946 --> 00:28:05,496 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 51638

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