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- I THINK MICHAEL'S ON CRACK...
2
00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:23,673
MYSELF.
3
00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:27,467
ANYBODY THAT WILL FUCK THEIR
FACE UP LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE,
4
00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,767
HE DOING SOMETHING.
5
00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:31,497
YEAH. I BET YOU
MICHAEL'S AT HOME.
6
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,800
MICHAEL'S LIKE...
7
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,600
SSSS.
8
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,630
OOH!
9
00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:47,797
SSSS.
10
00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:08,703
SSSS.
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HO!
12
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:13,570
GOOD NIGHT, Y'ALL.
13
00:01:18,066 --> 00:01:22,296
- IT'S THE "RUSSELL SIMMONS'
DEF COMEDY JAM" WITH YOUR HOST
14
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:26,070
D.L. HUGHLEY!
15
00:01:26,066 --> 00:01:27,526
TONIGHT'S GUESTS...
16
00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:29,433
DAVID ARNOLD...
17
00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:31,733
GERARD...
18
00:01:31,734 --> 00:01:33,874
TIMMY HALL...
19
00:01:33,867 --> 00:01:36,627
AND RASHEED!
20
00:01:36,633 --> 00:01:41,333
I AM YOUR MAN, THE WORLD'S
GREATEST D.J., THE KID CAPRI!
21
00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:43,573
AND THIS IS
COMEDY AT ITS BEST!
22
00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:48,097
LET'S GET IT ON WITH
YOUR HOST D.L. HUGHLEY!
23
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,830
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
HOME BOX OFFICE, INC.
24
00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,004
- HEY, NOW. ONE MORE TIME.
25
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,800
DO IT FOR MY MAN KID CAPRI!
26
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,170
YEAH.
27
00:01:58,166 --> 00:01:59,666
I LIKE IT.
28
00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:01,827
PRETTY LADIES UP
FRONT. GODDAMN.
29
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:03,274
DON'T LOOK AWAY. THAT'S
NOT GONNA STOP ME FROM
30
00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:04,266
FUCKING WITH YOU.
31
00:02:04,266 --> 00:02:05,766
HE'S LIKE...
32
00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:07,627
"DON'T LOOK AT HIM.
33
00:02:07,633 --> 00:02:10,873
IF YOU DON'T LOOK AT HIM,
HE CAN'T SEE YOU."
34
00:02:10,867 --> 00:02:12,727
GODDAMN. THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S
GOT ONE EYEBROW.
35
00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:14,574
GODDAMN!
36
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:18,127
EITHER THAT, OR A CATERPILLAR
TAKING A NAP ON YOUR FOREHEAD.
37
00:02:18,133 --> 00:02:20,033
I THOUGHT YOU WAS OSCAR
FROM SESAME STREET.
38
00:02:20,033 --> 00:02:21,703
AIN'T THAT--
39
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:23,030
GIVE ME A COOKIE. I KNOW
YOU GOT A FUCKING COOKIE.
40
00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:25,673
GIVE ME A COOKIE. GOD--
41
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,227
WELCOME TO "DEF JAM."
IT'S GONNA BE A LITTLE ROUGH
42
00:02:27,233 --> 00:02:31,173
THIS YEAR BECAUSE THE NAACP
BANNED THE WORD "NIGGER,"
43
00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:34,966
WHICH FUCKED UP 45 MINUTES
OF MY SHOW, SO...
44
00:02:34,967 --> 00:02:39,227
GOOD NIGHT.
45
00:02:39,233 --> 00:02:41,703
THERE'S MOTHERFUCKERS I CAN'T
EVEN CALL IN MY FAMILY NO MORE.
46
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:46,300
"YOU DON'T CALL ME NO MORE."
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY NOW."
47
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,530
I KNOW IT'S A HORRIBLE WORD,
BUT IT DESCRIBES SOME
48
00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:51,203
MOTHERFUCKERS I
KNOW SO PERFECTLY.
49
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,670
EVERYBODY KNOW THAT
ONE MOTHERFUCKER.
50
00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:57,497
EVERY TIME YOU SEE HIM COMING,
"AW, THIS NIGGER HERE. GODDAMN.
51
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,500
HOW DID HE GET MY NUMBER?"
52
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,300
IT ALL STARTED WITH
THAT FUCKING KRAMER FROM "SEINFELD."
53
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,470
REMEMBER THIS MOTHERFUCKER?
54
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,027
HE SAID NIGGER 8 TIMES
BEFORE THE AUDIENCE
55
00:03:05,033 --> 00:03:07,503
DECIDED THEY WERE OFFENDED,
WENT, "WAIT A MINUTE.
56
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,770
WAS THAT THE EIGHTH
NIGGER RIGHT THERE?
57
00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:13,267
"THAT'S 8 NIGGERS, ISN'T
THAT OVER THE NIGGER LIMIT?
58
00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:15,166
JESUS CHRIST!"
59
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,996
LOOK AT ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE.
"I WISH I COULD SAY THAT."
60
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,570
YOU CAN. JUST
DON'T DO IT HERE.
61
00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:25,903
YOU KNOW, DO IT IN YOUR
CAR LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.
62
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,330
"NIGGER!"
VRRRRRM!
63
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:32,173
VRRRRRM!
64
00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:34,926
TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS I KNOW
BLACK MEN, AND I KNOW NIGGERS,
65
00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:36,374
AND THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
66
00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:38,627
IF I'M HANGING OUT AT A COOL
RESTAURANT, BLACK MEN ARE COOL
67
00:03:38,633 --> 00:03:42,373
TO HANG OUT WITH, BUT IF A
FIGHT BREAK OUT HERE TONIGHT,
68
00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:43,427
IT'S A NIGGER I'M GONNA CALL.
69
00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:45,933
FUCK Y'ALL.
70
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,574
AND THEY ACT LIKE THAT'S THE
WORST THING, LIKE THAT--
71
00:03:47,567 --> 00:03:48,627
I KNOW IT'S A HORRIBLE WORD.
72
00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:49,803
I DIG IT. I UNDERSTAND.
73
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,700
I UNDERSTAND THAT SOME
PEOPLE MAY NOT DIG IT.
74
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,730
I GET IT, BUT IT AIN'T THE
WORST THING IN OUR COMMUNITY.
75
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,934
I MEAN, WE GOT AIDS,
DRUGS, SINGLE
76
00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:58,634
PARENTS, SHITTY-ASS SCHOOLS,
AND, YOU KNOW, THE WORST THING
77
00:03:58,633 --> 00:04:00,133
IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY
AIN'T THE WORD NIGGER.
78
00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:02,703
IT'S THE FACT THAT, YOU KNOW,
MORE PEOPLE--MORE BLACK PEOPLE
79
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:05,570
DIE FROM EATING FRIED FOODS
AND NOT FUCKING EXERCISING
80
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:06,927
THAN EVER HEARD
THE WORD NIGGER.
81
00:04:06,934 --> 00:04:09,234
THAT'S THE FUCKING
DEAL. THAT'S--
82
00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:11,333
YOU DON'T--
83
00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:13,333
YOU DON'T GO TO THE DOCTOR,
AND HE SAY, "YOU KNOW,
84
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,403
"YOUR CHOLESTEROL LEVEL'S GOOD,
BUT HAVE YOU BEEN SAYING
85
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,670
NIGGER A LOT LATELY?"
86
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,070
AND ALL THESE LEADERS GET ON,
87
00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:25,496
"HEY, YOU KNOW, YOU
SHOULD STOP SAYING NIGGER."
88
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:27,930
WELL, IF WE DO, Y'ALL
WON'T HAVE A JOB.
89
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,334
HA HA HA! AND IF THE POLICE
CAN'T SAY NIGGER, HOW THEY
90
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,903
GONNA TELL US TO GET
OUT OF THE CAR?
91
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,700
"GET OUT OF THE CAR, SIR."
92
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:36,830
THAT'S HOW THE
FUCK IT IS, MAN.
93
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,234
IT'S PEOPLE--SOME
PEOPLE DO NIGGER SHIT.
94
00:04:38,233 --> 00:04:39,373
THAT'S THE FUCKING DEAL.
95
00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:41,427
I WAS IN NEW YORK.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY, MAN.
96
00:04:41,433 --> 00:04:44,433
ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO, THESE
BROTHERS SHOT A POLICE OFFICER
97
00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:45,973
AND GOT AWAY WITH IT.
I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP,
98
00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:48,297
AND, UM--LOOK AT THIS
MOTHERFUCKER CLAPPING.
99
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,170
IT'S RODNEY KING
YOUNGER BROTHER, HUH?
100
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,666
SMOOTHIE KING.
AIN'T THAT A BITCH?
101
00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:04,827
THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
102
00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:07,504
YOU TRYING TO
FUCK THE SHOW UP?
103
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,570
LOOK AT ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE.
104
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:11,167
"THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I"...
105
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:12,726
NO. HE WAS IN NEW YORK.
THIS IS TRUE, MAN.
106
00:05:12,734 --> 00:05:14,104
I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP.
107
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,570
HE SHOT TWO POLICE OFFI--THESE
TWO BROTHERS SHOT TWO POLICE
108
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,797
OFFICERS AND GOT AWAY WITH IT,
AND THEY FOUND A BUCKET
109
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,770
OF CHICKEN--I SWEAR TO
GOD--WITH THE FINGERPRINTS
110
00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,427
ON THE MOTHERFUCKER.
111
00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:25,803
THAT'S NIGGER
SHIT RIGHT THERE.
112
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,700
FUCK YOU!
113
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,230
I COME HOME, AND A
MOTHERFUCKER RUNNING DOWN
114
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:33,003
THE STREET WITH MY COMPUTER,
THAT AIN'T SIDNEY POITIER.
115
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,630
THAT'S THAT NIGGER
THERE GODDAMN IT!
116
00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:37,873
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE
GET SO FUCKED UP WITH WORDS.
117
00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:39,997
IT IS WORDS THAT DO FUCK
WITH ME LIKE--HEH
118
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:44,800
HEH--"I'M PREGNANT."
119
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,870
"YOUR CREDIT CARD
WAS DECLINED."
120
00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:51,397
"THE POLICE IS AT THE DOOR."
121
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,670
OH, YOU AIN'T CLAP FOR THAT,
DID YOU, YOU
122
00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:56,327
HOODLUM MOTHERFUCKER?
123
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,033
Y'ALL READY TO KEEP
THIS THING GOING?
124
00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:03,733
THIS IS HIS FIRST
APPEARANCE ON "DEF JAM."
125
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:06,474
ALL THE WAY FROM CLEVELAND,
PUT YOUR MAN HANDS TOGETHER
126
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,067
LOUD AND STRONG FOR
MY MAN DAVID ARNOLD!
127
00:06:09,066 --> 00:06:11,126
[HIP-HOP PLAYING]
128
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,570
- YEAH!
129
00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:20,667
OH, YES!
130
00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:21,697
HOW Y'ALL DOING?
131
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:22,700
- [CHEERING]
132
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,430
- GIVE IT UP FOR D.L.
AND KID CAPRI!
133
00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:30,133
SO LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT.
134
00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:32,203
HOW MANY PEOPLE
STILL TAKING BATHS?
135
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,270
HOW MANY PEOPLE TAKING BATHS?
136
00:06:34,266 --> 00:06:35,826
BATHS. YEAH. GOOD.
137
00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:37,934
SIR, YOU A LITTLE TOO
GODDAMN BIG TO BE
138
00:06:37,934 --> 00:06:40,404
TAKING A BATH, YOU UNDERSTAND?
139
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,830
MATTER OF FACT, I DON'T WANT
TO SEE YOU SUBMERGED IN NO
140
00:06:42,834 --> 00:06:47,034
WATER IF YOUR ASS IS OLDER
THAN 9, YOU UNDERSTAND?
141
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:49,503
WOMEN THINK BATHS I GOOD
BECAUSE THEY PUT BUBBLES
142
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:50,700
IN THE WATER.
143
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,470
THAT CAMOUFLAGE
WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.
144
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:56,127
YOU EVER SEE WHAT BATH WATER
LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU AIN'T GOT
145
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,533
NO BUBBLES?
146
00:06:57,533 --> 00:07:00,303
AIN'T NO TIDE, YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
147
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,270
OH, I KNOW I'M NOT THE
ONLY NIGGER THAT HAD TIDE
148
00:07:02,266 --> 00:07:04,996
IN THE TUB.
149
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,470
TIDE MAKE THE BEST
BUBBLES OF ALL, DON'T IT?
150
00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:10,167
YOU BE IN THAT WATER.
"THIS SHIT IS INCREDIBLE."
151
00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:12,066
YOU BE CLEAN, BUT YOU BE
ITCHING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER
152
00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:13,496
WHEN IT'S OVER.
153
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,930
"THIS IS"...
154
00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:18,304
SITTING IN SOME DIRTY-ASS
WATER, JUST YOU, THE WATER,
155
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,900
AND THE TRUTH, THAT'S IT.
156
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:23,700
TAKE A SHOWER, AND WHEN YOU
TAKE A SHOWER, DON'T TAKE NO
157
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,930
SHOWER WITH NOBODY ELSE,
YOU UNDERSTAND?
158
00:07:25,934 --> 00:07:28,074
YOU AIN'T GOT ROOM IN
YOUR SHOWER AT YOUR
159
00:07:28,066 --> 00:07:30,866
ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT.
160
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,927
BECAUSE ALWAYS THE GUY IN THE
FRONT THE WATER HITTING HIM
161
00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:35,534
IN HIS STERNUM, AND THE WOMAN
BEHIND LIKE A BITCH CAN'T GET
162
00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:36,633
NO WATER, HUH?
163
00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:39,503
YOU JUST GONNA
STAND THERE, HUH?
164
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:45,500
HE MAD, LIKE, "THIS BITCH IS
ALWAYS COMPLAINING."
165
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,430
I BROKE UP WITH A GIRL ONE TIME
BECAUSE OF HER SHOWER ROUTINE.
166
00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:50,933
THE SHIT WAS SUSPECT.
I DIDN'T LIKE IT.
167
00:07:50,934 --> 00:07:52,834
WE IN THE SHOWER, SHE DOING
HER THING--KNEE, KNEE,
168
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:54,534
SHOULDER, SHOULDER,
ASS, FACE.
169
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,803
I'M LIKE, "HOLD UP, BITCH."
170
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:01,267
"DID YOU JUST PULL A LOOFA
OUT YOUR ASS AND PUT IT
171
00:08:01,266 --> 00:08:02,896
"ON YOUR FACE?
172
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,070
"THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.
173
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,396
THIS IS"--
174
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,730
THIS BITCH GOT ZESTY ASS FACE.
175
00:08:08,734 --> 00:08:13,934
I DON'T LIKE IT.
176
00:08:13,934 --> 00:08:15,974
THE BATHROOM A
SENSITIVE PLACE, AIN'T IT?
177
00:08:15,967 --> 00:08:17,767
YOU EVER GO TO SOMEBODY'S
HOUSE AND SEE A HAIR
178
00:08:17,767 --> 00:08:19,267
ON THEIR SOAP?
179
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,996
THAT SHIT IS NASTY, AIN'T IT?
180
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,070
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME
181
00:08:23,066 --> 00:08:24,366
THE HAIR CAME FROM THE ASS.
182
00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:25,897
THAT'S ME.
183
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,230
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.
184
00:08:27,233 --> 00:08:30,503
IT COULD BE BLOND AND WRAPPED
AROUND THE SOAP 12 TIMES,
185
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:33,230
I'M LOOKING AT IT LIKE,
"NIGGER, THAT'S A LONG-ASS
186
00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:37,503
ASS HAIR WRAPPED AROUND
THIS SOAP."
187
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,770
I'M FROM CLEVELAND.
188
00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:40,367
I LIVE IN L.A. NOW.
189
00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:41,467
I GOT ROAD RAGE.
190
00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:42,797
ANYBODY GOT ROAD RAGE?
191
00:08:46,033 --> 00:08:47,433
I WANT TO KILL EVERYBODY.
192
00:08:47,433 --> 00:08:49,873
IS THAT WRONG?
IS THAT WRONG?
193
00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:51,497
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
YOU KNOW WHAT I REALIZED?
194
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:54,030
IT'S PRESSURE
DRIVING OUT HERE. YOU NOTICE THAT?
195
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,503
YOU KNOW THE WORST PRESSURE
IS BEING THAT LEADOFF MAN
196
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,070
AT THE LEFT TURN
SIGNAL IN TRAFFIC.
197
00:08:58,066 --> 00:08:59,696
YOU EVER BEEN THIS DUDE?
198
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:02,170
YOU KNOW WHAT KIND
OF PRESSURE IT IS.
199
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,566
LEAD--I'M SITTING AT
THE LIGHT, RIGHT?
200
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:07,697
I GOT 12 PEOPLE IN MY
REARVIEW MIRROR LOOKING AT ME
201
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:10,800
WITH BLOOD IN THEIR EYES,
LIKE, "IF THIS NIGGER DON'T
202
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,970
TURN THE CORNER THE SECOND
THIS LIGHT TURN GREEN."
203
00:09:14,967 --> 00:09:16,797
I'M NERVOUS. I'M LOOKING AT
THE LIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE
204
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,870
LIKE, "I AIN'T
GONNA FUCK IT UP.
205
00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,697
"I AIN'T GONNA FUCK IT UP.
206
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,500
I GOT THIS ONE. I
GOT THIS ONE!"
207
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,430
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
GUY NUMBER 12.
208
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:25,973
YOU EVER BEEN GUY NUMBER 12?
209
00:09:25,967 --> 00:09:28,967
YOU MAD BECAUSE YOU AIN'T
FIRST ANYWAY, AND YOU KNOW YOU
210
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:31,867
GOT 11 IRRESPONSIBLE
PEOPLE IN FRONT OF YOU.
211
00:09:31,867 --> 00:09:34,397
ANYBODY'S HESITATION GONNA
COST YOU YOUR CHANCE OF MAKING
212
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,470
THAT LIGHT.
213
00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:38,667
SOON AS THE LIGHT TURN GREEN,
I TURN INTO A CHEERLEADER.
214
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:41,227
"GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!"
215
00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:43,433
AND YOU ALMOST GET THERE,
BUT THE PERSON RIGHT IN FRONT
216
00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:45,503
OF YOU DECIDE TO STOP
AT THE YELLOW LIGHT?
217
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,070
"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"
218
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,573
"YOU COULD HAVE MADE IT!"
219
00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:53,927
YOU'LL BE IN THE CAR BY
YOURSELF, "WHAT THE FUCK
220
00:09:53,934 --> 00:09:55,504
"IS HE DOING?
221
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,730
"HE COULD HAVE MADE IT!
222
00:09:57,734 --> 00:09:58,904
"FUCK THE CAMERAS.
223
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,870
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
THE CAMERAS!"
224
00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:04,227
EVERYBODY'S SO AGGRESSIVE,
EVERYBODY EXCEPT
225
00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:05,703
FOR THE MERGERS.
226
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,770
THE MERGERS IS THE MOST
HUMBLE GROUP OF DRIVERS YOU
227
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:10,727
WILL EVER MEET BECAUSE THEY
WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU.
228
00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:13,034
THEY WANT YOU TO LET THEM IN.
229
00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:17,273
FUCK THEM, YOU UNDERSTAND?
230
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,396
WHEN I GET UP ON THEM, I
TURN MY BODY IN THE SEAT JUST
231
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:25,670
A LITTLE BIT, LIKE, "NIGGER,
I DON'T SEE YOU OVER THERE."
232
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,367
YOU TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS
"DON'T NOBODY LOOK AT HIM.
233
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:29,167
DON'T LOOK AT HIM."
234
00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:31,466
BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK AT HIM,
YOU GOT TO LET HIM IN.
235
00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:34,867
THEY TRY TO EASE THEIR CAR UP,
I EASE MY SHIT UP.
236
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:37,267
"I WILL HIT YOUR SHIT.
237
00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:39,396
"I WILL RUN THIS PINTO INTO
THAT FUCKING HUMMER,
238
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,570
I SWEAR, NIGGER.
239
00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:41,727
MOVE IT AGAIN, MOVE IT AGAIN."
240
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:49,427
I'M SO ANGRY.
241
00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:51,303
THE WORST IS WHEN YOU GET
CAUGHT BEHIND TWO SLOW PEOPLE.
242
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,600
YOU EVER HAD THAT?
243
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,630
YOU BE JUMPING FROM LANE
TO LANE, LOOKING FOR
244
00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:57,133
THAT LITTLE GAP.
245
00:10:57,133 --> 00:11:00,233
I'M LOOKING FOR 6 INCHES OF
DAYLIGHT SO I CAN GET THROUGH.
246
00:11:00,233 --> 00:11:02,773
WHEN YOU GET THROUGH, BEFORE
I TAKE OFF, I MAKE IT A POINT
247
00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:05,697
AND STOP AND LOOK AT THE
PERSON THAT'S BEEN FUCKING OFF
248
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:09,170
MY DREAMS AND LET HIM KNOW "I
WANT YOU TO KNOW I THINK YOU
249
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:10,226
AIN'T SHIT."
250
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,333
POW! AND I TAKE OFF.
251
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:18,100
I DID THIS A FEW--I DID
THIS A FEW WEEKS AGO.
252
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,070
I SHOT AROUND THIS DUDE,
BUT THEN I GOT CAUGHT
253
00:11:20,066 --> 00:11:22,026
AT THE LIGHT, LIKE,
20 FEET AHEAD.
254
00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:24,073
THE SAME GUY I WENT AROUND
RODE UP ON ME AND WENT...
255
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,430
"OH, THAT SHIT
WASN'T EVEN NECESSARY.
256
00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:35,573
WE STILL AT THE SAME SPOT."
257
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:37,267
YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT HIM,
SO YOU EASE YOUR CAR UP LIKE,
258
00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:39,096
"DON'T YOU JUDGE ME,
YOU MOTHERFUCKER."
259
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,130
MY NAME'S DAVID ARNOLD.
Y'ALL BE GOOD.
260
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:43,133
[HIP-HOP PLAYING]
261
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:55,503
- THIS NEXT CAT INVITES YOU
TO KICK BACK AND LAUGH.
262
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,170
PUT YOUR HANDS
TOGETHER FOR GERARD!
263
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:01,126
[HIP-HOP PLAYING]
264
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:13,397
- IS IT JUST ME, OR IS THERE
SOMETHING ABOUT A REALLY,
265
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,570
REALLY, REALLY NICE HOTEL MAKE
YOU WANT TO FUCK AS SOON AS
266
00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:19,667
YOU CHECK IN?
267
00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:20,997
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT Y'ALL,
BUT I'M A FOOL
268
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,470
AT A NICE HOTEL.
269
00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:24,297
NICE HOTEL, I DO
EXTRA NASTY SHIT.
270
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:25,570
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHAT Y'ALL SAY.
271
00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:27,227
I FINISH FUCKING, I TAKE
MY RUBBER OFF, THROW IT
272
00:12:27,233 --> 00:12:28,273
ON THE WALL.
273
00:12:28,266 --> 00:12:29,426
"YEAH!"
274
00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:37,203
Y'ALL CAN "OOH AND AHH" IF
YOU WANT TO, BUT FOR $119
275
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,770
A NIGHT, I'M GONNA WIPE
MY DICK ON THE CURTAIN.
276
00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:41,397
I SURE AM.
277
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,270
"GIRL, LOOK AT THE
SUN COMING UP ALREADY.
278
00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:45,666
"IT WAS DARK WHEN WE STARTED.
279
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:49,397
LOOK AT THAT. THAT'S PURPLE
AND ORANGE AND EVERYTHING."
280
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,430
NOW I KNOW I JUST SAID SOME
NASTY SHIT, BUT Y'ALL LAUGHED,
281
00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:53,573
AND SO WE EVEN.
282
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:55,527
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
SHIT ELSE ABOUT IT.
283
00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:56,873
I TELL YOU THIS,
TOO, MAN.
284
00:12:56,867 --> 00:12:59,467
I LOVE WOMEN WITH PRETTY
HANDS AND PRETTY FEET.
285
00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:00,797
DO Y'ALL HEAR ME?
286
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,170
PRETTY HANDS AND PRETTY--IT'S
ALMOST LIKE A SICKNESS.
287
00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,996
HONESTLY, SHE COULD BE UGLY
AS FUCK, SHE GOT PRETTY HANDS
288
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,800
AND PRETTY FEET, SHE AT LEAST
GOT TWO LONG ISLAND ICE TEAS
289
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,770
COMING IN HER DIRECTION,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
290
00:13:10,767 --> 00:13:12,997
PRETTY HAN--DO Y'ALL KNOW
WHAT FRENCH-TIPPED NAILS ARE?
291
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,370
DO Y'ALL KNOW WHAT THAT IS?
292
00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:16,197
AS A MATTER OF FACT, LADIES,
HOLD THEM IF YOU HAVE THEM.
293
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,900
FRENCH-TIPPED NAI--WHEN A
WOMAN IS HOLDING MY DICK
294
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:22,500
WITH SOME FRENCH-TIPPED NAILS,
IT MAKE MY DICK LOOK LIKE IT
295
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,870
GOT ON A LITTLE TUXEDO.
296
00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:26,097
THAT'S BRILLIANT,
THAT'S BRILLIANT.
297
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:29,200
THAT IS BRILLIANT.
IT'S MAJESTIC.
298
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,970
IT'S LIKE PROM NIGHT
LOOKING UP UNDER THE SHEET.
299
00:13:30,967 --> 00:13:32,127
LOOK AT THE LITTLE MAN.
300
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:34,673
LOOKS SO HANDSOME WITH
THE LITTLE TUXEDO ON.
301
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:35,827
LOOK HOW HANDSOME.
302
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:36,934
Y'ALL SQUEEZE IN HERE,
AND I'M GONNA TAKE
303
00:13:36,934 --> 00:13:38,104
A PICTURE BEFORE YOU LEAVE.
304
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,200
HEY, HEY, IF YOU'RE HAVING
SEX, THAT'S GREAT, THAT'S
305
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,500
GREAT, BUT THAT DON'T MAKE
IT GREAT SEX, RIGHT?
306
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:51,130
GREAT SEX HAS TO DO
WITH THE EXTRA SHIT.
307
00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,633
OTHERWISE, WE JUST
DOING THE WORD.
308
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:54,933
WE FORNICATE, WE COPULATE,
BUT IF WE HAVING GOOD SEX,
309
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,274
IT HAS TO DO WITH
THE EXTRA SHIT.
310
00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:59,296
NOW I'M GONNA TELL Y'ALL A
STORY REAL QUICK, BUT BEFORE I
311
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:03,100
DO, I'M GONNA REMIND EVERYBODY
I'M JUST A MAN, A MERE MAN,
312
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,970
BUT I KNOW EVERYBODY WHO HEARS
ME SAY THIS AT SOME POINT OR
313
00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:09,197
ANOTHER IN THEIR LIFE
HAS HAD THAT NIGHT.
314
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,300
Y'ALL REMEMBER THAT NIGHT?
315
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,800
IT WAS OFF THE CHAIN
ON TOP OF YOUR BED.
316
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,170
YOU CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU
WERE JUST DOING ON TOP OF YOUR--
317
00:14:15,166 --> 00:14:17,826
IT WAS CIRQUE DU SOLEIL
ON TOP OF YOUR BED
318
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:19,204
ABOUT 5 MINUTES AGO.
319
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,030
YOU WERE OUTDONE WITH WHAT YOU
WERE JUST DOING ON TOP OF YOUR
320
00:14:21,033 --> 00:14:23,003
BED, SO MUCH SO THAT YOU'RE
SITTING AT THE EDGE OF YOUR
321
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,570
BED WITH YOUR HAND OVER
YOUR FACE, TALKING TO
322
00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:26,127
YOURSELF OUT LOUD.
323
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:29,103
"I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE
DID ALL OF THAT.
324
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,770
"SHE IS SO NASTY.
325
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,127
"I MEAN, SHE SAID SHE
WAS GONNA DO IT,
326
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,633
"BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE DID IT.
327
00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:36,873
"SHE IS SO NASTY.
328
00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:38,597
"AS SOON AS SHE LEAVES,
I'M GONNA CALL
329
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,600
"AND TELL EVERYBODY!
330
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,970
SHE'S SO NASTY."
331
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,927
BECAUSE YOU'RE SO ENAMORED
WITH WHAT SHE JUST DID, YOU'RE
332
00:14:45,934 --> 00:14:47,504
NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO
WHAT SHE'S DOING NOW.
333
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,830
YOU STILL GOT YOUR HAND
OVER YOUR FACE, AND ALL
334
00:14:48,834 --> 00:14:50,474
OF A SUDDEN, YOU FEEL
A HOT RAG ON YOUR DICK.
335
00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:51,797
YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD!
336
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,830
"SHE WIPED MY DICK OFF
WITH A HOT RAG!
337
00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:56,834
"I AM GOING TO ZALES
IN THE MORNING.
338
00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:59,404
"I AM PREPARED TO MARY THIS
MOTHERFUCKER TOMORROW.
339
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,130
ALREADY GOT A TUXEDO."
340
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,700
THAT HOT RAG IS A
MONSTER, LADIES.
341
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,200
IT WILL CHANGE
THE RELATIONSHIP.
342
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,300
IF YOUR MAN IS NOT READY FOR IT,
HE'LL BREAK UP WITH YOUR ASS.
343
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,500
YOU COME IN THERE WITH A
HOT RAG, HE'LL BE LIKE, "UH,
344
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,300
THINGS ARE MOVING TOO FAST.
345
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,370
"NOT READY FOR ALL THAT.
346
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,727
IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME."
347
00:15:15,734 --> 00:15:18,234
BUT I JUST FOUND THIS OUT,
AND THIS IS THE TRUTH.
348
00:15:18,233 --> 00:15:20,573
JUST FOUND OUT THAT AFTER
A GREAT NIGHT OF LOVEMAKING
349
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:23,027
LADIES LIKE IT WHEN A MAN
BRINGS HER A HOT RAG BACK INTO
350
00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:24,433
THE ROOM, ALL RIGHT?
351
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:26,803
YOU HEAR ONE LADY CLAPPING.
352
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,900
AND THAT'S NOT--THAT'S ONLY
BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW THIS IS
353
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:30,230
WHAT WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.
354
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,603
FELLAS, IF YOU GOT YOUR CHICK
WITH YOU, I WANT YOU TO LOOK
355
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,930
AT HER IN HER FACE WHILE
I DESCRIBE THIS.
356
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,504
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOUR
WOMAN WANTS YOU TO DO.
357
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,630
FELLAS, THE NEXT NIGHT YOU
HAVE OF GOOD LOVEMAKING--AND
358
00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:40,803
IT HAS TO BE THAT.
359
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,330
IT CAN'T BE, LIKE,
4 SECONDS. PPPT!
360
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,573
"I'M GONNA GO GET A RAG."
361
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:44,967
NOT THAT.
362
00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:46,597
THE NEXT TIME YOU PUT IT DOWN,
FELLAS, THE NEXT TIME YOU
363
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,830
BREAK YOUR BACK OFF IN THERE,
BREAK A SWEAT, GET YOUR ASS
364
00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:52,874
UP, FELLAS, GO TO THE
BATHROOM, AND GET A RAG.
365
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:58,267
A CLEAN RAG, NOT THE ONE YOU
BEEN HITTING THE RIMS WITH.
366
00:15:58,266 --> 00:16:00,496
THAT WOULD BE WRONG AND FOUL.
367
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,100
DON'T GET THAT RAG YOU ALREADY
USED THAT GOT SOAP DRIED UP
368
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,200
ON THE SHOWER ROD.
369
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,430
YOU'LL SCRATCH YOUR
PUBICS OFF WITH THAT.
370
00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:07,073
DON'T DO THAT.
371
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:10,196
FELLAS, GET A CLEAN RAG,
PUT SOME SCALDING HOT WATER
372
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,700
INTO THAT CLEAN RAG.
373
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,770
WRING THAT SCALDING HOT
WATER OUT OF THAT RAG.
374
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:15,427
COME ON BACK IN THE ROOM
AND GO AHEAD
375
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,433
AND WIPE HER MOUTH OFF.
376
00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:19,733
I'M GERARD. Y'ALL BEEN SWEET.
377
00:16:19,734 --> 00:16:22,234
THANK YOU. PEACE.
378
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:24,203
- PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS
TOGETHER FOR BALTIMORE CITY
379
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,300
POLICE OFFICER TIMMY HALL!
380
00:16:28,934 --> 00:16:33,434
- WHAT'S UP, "DEF JAM?"
Y'ALL MAKE SOME NOISE!
381
00:16:33,433 --> 00:16:35,573
OH, MAN! I KNOW Y'ALL
LOOKING ME LIKE,
382
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,827
"HE A POLICE OFFICER?"
383
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,134
Y'ALL DON'T LIKE
DOES, DO Y'ALL?
384
00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:39,933
YEAH, FUCK Y'ALL, TOO.
385
00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:42,204
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
I AIN'T THERE TO HELP NONE OF Y'ALL.
386
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,770
I'M THERE FOR THE BENEFITS
AND THE CREDIT UNION, NIGGER.
387
00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:46,267
I AIN'T THERE FOR SHIT ELSE.
388
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:47,696
I'M A PUNK-ASS POLICE.
389
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,530
I DON'T GET INVOLVED IN SHIT.
390
00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:51,233
MY SON'S TALKING ABOUT,
"DADDY, YOU FIGHT CRIME."
391
00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:52,603
NIGGER, I DON'T
EVEN FIGHT SLEEP.
392
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,770
I GET TIRED RIGHT NOW,
I'M GONNA LAY THE FUCK DOWN.
393
00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:57,297
I'M A PO--I DON'T
HELP NOBODY OUT.
394
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,770
LADY CALLED THE OTHER DAY,
TALKING ABOUT, "OFFICER,
395
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,967
MY HUSBAND IN THE
HOUSE WITH A GUN.
396
00:16:59,967 --> 00:17:00,997
HE GONNA KILL ME."
397
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,100
I SAID, "WELL, BITCH,
GET IN THE CAR.
398
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,930
"BITCH, GET IN THE CAR.
HE AFTER YOU, NOT ME.
399
00:17:03,934 --> 00:17:04,974
"IF I GOT SHOT, I SWEAR TO GOD,
400
00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:05,997
"I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU, BITCH.
401
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,600
GET IN THE CAR."
402
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,300
I DON'T EVEN HELP FELLOW
POLICE OFFICERS, THOUGH.
403
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,370
FUCK THEM!
404
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,567
OFFICER DOWN, HE DOWN, I'M UP.
405
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,467
I GOT ON THE RADIO.
"WHAT'S THE LOCATION?"
406
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,367
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO RUN
INTO THAT SHIT BY ACCIDENT.
407
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:19,867
I'M LIKE, "WHERE'S
THE SUSPECT?"
408
00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:22,167
"THE SUSPECT IS STILL AT LARGE.
WHERE YOU AT?"
409
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,426
I SAY, "I'M HOME WATCHING
THIS SHIT ON THE NEWS.
410
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:26,473
THAT NIGGER DANGEROUS."
411
00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:29,027
I DON'T GET INVOLVED IN SHIT!
412
00:17:29,033 --> 00:17:30,403
I GOT TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT,
THOUGH, BECAUSE I
413
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,570
REALIZED SOMETHING.
WOMEN, Y'ALL GET A MOTHERFUCK--
414
00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:34,127
MY WIFE DON'T GO
TO NO CLUBS WITH ME.
415
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:35,773
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU CAN'T FIGHT
THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEBODY WANT
416
00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:37,297
TO GET YOU
INVOLVED IN A FIGHT?
417
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,800
YOU EVER GO TO A CLUB WITH
YOUR WOMAN, SHE GET INVOLVED
418
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,070
IN AN ARGUMENT WITH A GUY
BIGGER THAN YOU AND STARING
419
00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:42,326
AT YOU LIKE YOU
SUPPOSED TO HURT HIM?
420
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:45,103
I'M STARING RIGHT
BACK HER, JUST...
421
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:46,670
"THAT GUY OVER THE TRYING
TO GET MY PHONE NUMBER."
422
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,697
I SAID, "WELL, GIVE IT
TO HIM. HE CUTE."
423
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,070
WOMEN ALWAYS TRY
TO FUCK WITH YOU.
424
00:17:51,066 --> 00:17:52,226
"WHY DON'T YOU BE A MAN
FOR A CHANGE?"
425
00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:53,403
"BITCH, I AIN'T BEEN A
MAN ALL THIS TIME.
426
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,500
"WHY AM I STARTING NOW?
427
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:55,900
"I BEEN A PUNK ALL MY LIFE.
428
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:59,270
YOU ALWAYS TRYING
TO CHANGE SOMEBODY."
429
00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:00,866
I GO OVER TO THE GUY AND SAY,
"EXCUSE ME, SIR.
430
00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,097
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"
HE SAID, "MY NAME MIKE."
431
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,300
I SAID, "I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT.
I WANT TO TALK.
432
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,330
MY WIFE LIKE NICE THINGS.
433
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,533
YOU GOT A JOB?"
HE SAID, "YEAH."
434
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:06,603
I SAID, "HOW MUCH YOU
MAKE A YEAR?"
435
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,700
HE SAID, "500,000."
436
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,600
I SAID, "WHATEVER, MIKE.
437
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,770
"LET ME ASK YOU
ANOTHER QUESTION, MIKE.
438
00:18:10,767 --> 00:18:11,867
"MY WIFE LIKE NICE CARS.
YOU GOT A NICE CAR?"
439
00:18:11,867 --> 00:18:13,627
HE SAID, "YEAH."
"WHAT KIND OF CAR YOU GOT?"
440
00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:16,873
HE SAID, "A MERCEDES-BENZ."
I SAID, "WHATEVER, MIKE."
441
00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,227
I SAID, "LET ME ASK
YOU ANOTHER QUESTION."
442
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:19,703
HE SAID, "WHAT?"
I SAID, "YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND?"
443
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,170
HE SAID, "NO."
I SAID, "YOU WANT ONE?
444
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,266
"BECAUSE YOU EVERYTHING
I'M LOOKING FOR. FUCK HER!
445
00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:24,526
"NIGGER, SHE DON'T
EVEN SUCK DICK.
446
00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:29,703
YOU DON'T NEED THAT BULLSHIT."
447
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,330
I LOVE YOU WOMEN. I DO!
448
00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:33,603
I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT WOMEN.
449
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,770
I REALIZE, WOMEN, Y'ALL
SELFISH AS FUCK, GEE.
450
00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:37,567
ANOTHER THING.
WHEN IT COME TO SEX, WOMEN,
451
00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:39,797
Y'ALL WANT TOO FUCKING
MUCH OUT OF MAN.
452
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,230
Y'ALL DO. I ROLLED OVER ON
MY WIFE THE OTHER DAY.
453
00:18:41,233 --> 00:18:42,573
SHE'S TALKING ABOUT,
"YOU BETTER GET OFF OF ME."
454
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:43,927
I SAID, "WHAT'S WRONG?"
"YOU BETTER TOUCH ME, LICK ME,
455
00:18:43,934 --> 00:18:46,274
CARESS ME, AND GET ME WET."
456
00:18:46,266 --> 00:18:47,666
SO I SPIT ON HER ASS.
457
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,897
"YOU WET NOW?
SHIT. I GOT TO WORK TOMORROW.
458
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:51,100
"I AIN'T GOT TIME
FOR THIS BULLSHIT.
459
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:53,370
"YOU KNOW I'M LAZY.
460
00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:56,797
WHAT THE FUCK WRONG WITH YOU?"
461
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,530
BUT I WILL SAY THIS IN
Y'ALL WOMEN'S DEFENSE.
462
00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:00,133
MEN, WE DO GET LAZY
WHEN IT COME TO SEX.
463
00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:02,333
YOU GOT TO PUT IT DOWN
IN 2007, GOT TO PUT THAT
464
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:03,933
SHIT DOWN.
465
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,634
YOU GOT TO TRY
DIFFERENT STUFF.
466
00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:06,973
YOU GOT TO TRY CRAZY.
467
00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:08,597
YOU EVER MAKE LOVE TO SOMEBODY
IN THE BED AND SOME SHIT
468
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,500
HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT AND
YOU REALIZE YOU LIKE IT?
469
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,670
LIKE, MEN, YOU EVER MAKE
LOVE TO A WOMAN AND SHE COUGH
470
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:15,327
AND HER VAGINA MUSCLES JUST
WRAP AROUND YOUR DICK,
471
00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:16,903
JUST, "UNH, UNH, UNH!"
472
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:18,800
NIGGER, YOU BETTER FIND A GIRL
WITH THE FLU OR SOME SHIT.
473
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,770
"UNH, UNH, UNH, UNH!"
474
00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:21,997
I'M TELLING YOU.
475
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,370
I'M TRYING TO FIND ME
A GIRL WITH ASTHMA.
476
00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:25,597
I CAN'T WAIT, NIGGER!
477
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,270
YOU MAKE TO A GIRL
WITH ASTHMA, JUST...
478
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:32,696
[WHEEZING]
479
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:36,170
SHIT!
480
00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:39,126
LOVE SEX.
481
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:40,603
THAT'S RIGHT.
482
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,270
THEY SAID IF I TALK ABOUT SEX,
TALK ABOUT SAFE SEX,
483
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:43,566
WEAR A CONDOM.
484
00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:44,927
SHIT. I WEAR A CONDOM
WHEN I JERK OFF.
485
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,574
I DON'T TRUST MYSELF.
486
00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,527
I DON'T KNOW WHERE
THE FUCK I BEEN.
487
00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:50,773
COUPLE THINGS YOU GOT TO KNOW.
LIKE, THIS FOR THE WOMEN.
488
00:19:50,767 --> 00:19:52,927
TELL THEM. MEN, IF YOU AIN'T
A MANGUM MAN, STOP WEARING
489
00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:55,934
MAGNUM CONDOMS.
490
00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,974
I PUT THAT SHIT ON, I GOT
DUCT TAPE AND STAPLES
491
00:19:57,967 --> 00:19:59,797
AROUND MY SHIT.
492
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:00,830
I SAID, "WHAT
YOU LAUGHING AT?"
493
00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:02,174
"YOUR DICK LIKE A
JELLY BEAN IN ZIPLOC."
494
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:03,326
"FUCK YOU, BITCH."
495
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:09,670
I DON'T GIVE A
FUCK ABOUT NONE OF YOU.
496
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,097
I KNOW MY DICK'S
SMALL. FUCK YOU.
497
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,370
MY MOTHER SAID, "AS
LONG AS YOU TRY,
498
00:20:12,367 --> 00:20:13,427
YOU STILL A WINNER."
499
00:20:13,433 --> 00:20:14,733
FUCK ALL Y'ALL.
500
00:20:14,734 --> 00:20:17,674
I'M A WINNER IN MY EYES.
501
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:19,267
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
YOU KNOW YOUR DICK'S SMALL
502
00:20:19,266 --> 00:20:21,096
WHEN A GIRL CAN SUCK YOUR
DICK AND TALK NORMAL.
503
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,070
SHE ON THE CELL LIKE,
"OH. I'M STRAIGHT.
504
00:20:23,066 --> 00:20:24,996
"DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.
WE ALL RIGHT.
505
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,200
"DON'T EVEN WORRY.
I'M ALL RIGHT, MA.
506
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,330
HOW YOU BEEN, MA?"
507
00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:34,373
HA!
508
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,367
LOVE SEX!
509
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:37,767
NOW I'M WATCHING
PORNO FILMS AND SHIT.
510
00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:41,167
ANYBODY WATCH PORNO FILMS?
DON'T LIKE, NIGGER.
511
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,866
I EVEN WENT OUT AND BOUGHT A
65-INCH TV TO WATCH THAT SHIT.
512
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,967
THAT WAS THE WORST THING I
EVER FUCKING DID BECAUSE THAT
513
00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:47,797
SHIT IS TOO FUCKING REAL
IN THEM PLASMA TVs.
514
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,770
IT'S LIKE YOU
REALLY FUCKING THERE.
515
00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:50,997
I'M WATCHING A PORNO FILM.
516
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,530
THIS MOTHERFUCKER WALKING
TOWARD THE CAMERA,
517
00:20:52,533 --> 00:20:54,003
HIS DICK JUST SWINGING.
518
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,400
NEXT THING I KNOW, HIS
DICK IN MY MOUTH.
519
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,930
I'M LIKE, "WHAT THE FUCK?"
520
00:20:56,934 --> 00:20:59,474
"I'M READY TO BACK UP.
SO TAKE YOUR HAT OFF, NIGGER."
521
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,730
GLAD Y'ALL ENJOYING YOURSELF.
522
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,174
I'M READY TO GET OUT
OF HERE, MAN.
523
00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:10,626
I LOVE Y'ALL, THOUGH, BUT
I'M SAYING RIGHT NOW, A LOT
524
00:21:10,633 --> 00:21:11,973
OF THINGS I CAN'T
TALK ABOUT ONSTAGE.
525
00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:13,967
BEING A POLICE OFFICER,
I CAN'T TALK ABOUT MARIJUANA
526
00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:18,527
BECAUSE I CAN'T SMOKE
MARIJUANA, BUT I CAN SMELL IT.
527
00:21:18,533 --> 00:21:19,833
I PULLED A CAR OVER
THE OTHER DAY.
528
00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:20,934
MOTHERFUCKER HAD WEED.
529
00:21:20,934 --> 00:21:22,304
I WAS AT THAT BITCH FOR
3 HOURS, "LICENSE"...
530
00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:23,770
[INHALES]
531
00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:26,767
"AND REG-I-STRA-TION."
532
00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:27,997
I WAS AT THAT BITCH SO LONG,
I FORGOT WHAT I PULLED
533
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,030
HIM OVER FOR.
534
00:21:29,033 --> 00:21:31,173
"HOW YOUR MOTHER DOING?"
535
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,666
YOU KNOW, NOWADAYS,
YOU CAN'T SMOKE.
536
00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:33,897
REMEMBER, BACK IN THE DAY,
YOU SMOKE A JOINT,
537
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:35,300
YOU LAUGHED, YOU GIGGLED,
IT WAS OVER.
538
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:36,570
YOU SMOKE A JOINT NOW,
YOU LIABLE TO DO ANY
539
00:21:36,567 --> 00:21:38,227
FUCKING THING.
540
00:21:38,233 --> 00:21:39,833
IF YOU SMOKE WEED, STAY
THE FUCK IN THE--YOU EVER
541
00:21:39,834 --> 00:21:42,134
SMOKE A JOINT, WALK IN THE MALL,
AND SIT DOWN IN FOOTLOCKER?
542
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:43,303
THEY LIKE, "CAN I HELP YOU?"
543
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,130
"WHAT TIME THE
GAME START, NIGGER.
544
00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:46,803
"ALL THESE REFEREES IN
THIS BITCH, AIN'T NO GAME?
545
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,200
"THAT SOME BULLSHIT!
SOMEBODY LYING.
546
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,930
I GOT SEASON TICKETS
IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER."
547
00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:58,166
AND IN BALTIMORE, THEY TALKING
ABOUT MAKING DRUGS LEGAL
548
00:21:58,166 --> 00:22:00,296
BECAUSE THEY SAYING THE
CRIME'S SO BAD IN BALTIMORE.
549
00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:01,700
I SAID,
"IF YOU MAKE DRUGS LEGAL,
550
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:03,600
YOU GOT TO MAKE THAT
SHIT LEGAL FOR EVERYBODY,
551
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,170
EVEN POLICE OFFICERS."
552
00:22:05,166 --> 00:22:06,666
A POLICE OFFICER'S HIGH
ON MARIJUANA, YOU'LL NEVER
553
00:22:06,667 --> 00:22:08,027
GET A TICKET.
554
00:22:08,033 --> 00:22:09,803
THAT NIGGER PULL YOU OVER.
ROOP ROOP.
555
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,770
"LICENSE AND REGISTRATION,
MOTHERFUCKER.
556
00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:14,297
LOOK. I PULLED YOU OVER
BECAUSE YOU RAN THAT STOP SIGN
557
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:15,970
"BACK THERE.
558
00:22:15,967 --> 00:22:17,897
"WE CAN FORGET ALL ABOUT THAT
SHIT FOR THEM BAG OF CHIPS YOU
559
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:22,200
GOT SITTING IN YOUR LAP,
THOUGH, SHORTY."
560
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,130
"DEF JAM," I'M
TIMMY HALL, BABY.
561
00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:26,133
[HIP-HOP PLAYING]
562
00:22:33,533 --> 00:22:36,733
- NOW I SAW THIS CAT A COUPLE
OF WEEKS AGO, AND HE--IN
563
00:22:36,734 --> 00:22:39,334
COMEDY CLUBS ALL AROUND THE
COUNTRY, THEY CALL HIM "THE
564
00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:40,803
TRUTH," AND HE EARNS IT.
565
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,770
FROM BROOKLYN, PLEASE PUT
YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR MY
566
00:22:42,767 --> 00:22:44,367
MAN RASHEED!
567
00:22:44,367 --> 00:22:46,397
[HIP-HOP PLAYING]
568
00:22:52,734 --> 00:22:54,934
- WHAT'S GOOD?
569
00:22:54,934 --> 00:22:56,704
WHAT UP?
570
00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:59,100
Y'ALL GOOD?
- YEAH!
571
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:03,870
- I'M THE FIRST NIGGER IN
MY FAMILY IN L.A. HOLLA.
572
00:23:03,867 --> 00:23:05,167
I LOVE MY FAMILY.
573
00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:08,996
CLAP IF YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY.
574
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,670
EVEN IF THEY CRAZY, YOU
GOT TO LOVE THEM.
575
00:23:11,667 --> 00:23:14,097
I GOT A UNCLE ON DOPE.
576
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:17,300
ALL THE KIDS CALL
HIM UNCLE DOPE.
577
00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:18,870
THEY BE LIKE, "UNCLE DOPE,
GIVE ME A DOLLAR."
578
00:23:18,867 --> 00:23:20,327
"YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL"...
579
00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:45,403
"I AIN'T GOT NO
GODDAMN DOLLAR."
580
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,730
Y'ALL KNOW ABOUT DOPE FIENDS?
581
00:23:47,734 --> 00:23:49,234
OH, THEY FUNNIER THAN
A MOTHERFUCKER.
582
00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:50,733
I LOVE MY UNCLE
BECAUSE HE FLY.
583
00:23:50,734 --> 00:23:52,134
HE AIN'T NO DIRTY DUDE.
584
00:23:52,133 --> 00:23:55,673
HE WEAR ALL THE
BRAND-NEW OLD CLOTHES.
585
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:58,797
YOU KNOW, HE GOT NEW
CLOTHES FROM 1982, YOU KNOW.
586
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,200
HE BE WALKING AROUND WITH HIS
BRAND-NEW OLD CLOTHES, AND I'M
587
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,300
LIKE, "UNCLE DOPE, HOW
YOU KEEP YOUR SHOES SO NEW
588
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:06,730
AND THEM SHIT'S
25 YEARS OLD?"
589
00:24:06,734 --> 00:24:09,104
HE SAID, "I DON'T
SMOKE NO REEFER."
590
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:11,300
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW
DOPE FIENDS TALK.
591
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:13,770
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU'RE
A MAN OR A WOMAN, SOON AS YOU
592
00:24:13,767 --> 00:24:15,497
SHOOT THAT HEROIN,
THIS HOW YOU SOUND.
593
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:16,700
[CRAGGY VOICE]
OH, SHIT.
594
00:24:19,567 --> 00:24:21,567
ONE TIME, MY MOTHER WAS LIKE,
CALL UNCLE DOPE HOUSE.
595
00:24:21,567 --> 00:24:22,767
TELL HIM SOME SHIT.
596
00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:24,067
I CALL ON THE PHONE.
THE PONE RUNG.
597
00:24:24,066 --> 00:24:25,166
BBBBBBL.
598
00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:26,296
[CRAGGY VOICE]
"HELLO?"
599
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:27,370
I SAID, "YEAH, UNCLE DOPE,
MOMMY SAID"--
600
00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:30,497
"NO, THIS BARBARA."
601
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:31,800
I SAID, "HI, AUNT BARBARA.
602
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,630
LET ME SPEAK TO UNCLE DOPE."
603
00:24:33,633 --> 00:24:35,173
SHE SAID, "HOLD ON."
604
00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,996
YOU KNOW, I'M ON THE PHONE
FOR 5 FUCKING MINUTES.
605
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,700
I'M ABOUT TO HANG UP.
I'M LIKE, "THEY FUCKING
606
00:24:39,700 --> 00:24:41,870
WITH MY DAY MINUTES NOW,"
YOU KNOW?
607
00:24:41,867 --> 00:24:43,397
THEY GONNA COME BACK TO
THE PHONE, "HELLO?"
608
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,500
I SAID, "YEAH, UNCLE DOPE,
MOMMY SAID"--
609
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:45,830
"NO, THIS STILL BARBARA."
610
00:24:51,166 --> 00:24:53,396
I SAID, "UNCLE DOPE, HOW YOU
KEEP YOUR SHOES SO NEW?"
611
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,800
HE SAID, "I DON'T
SMOKE NO REEFER."
612
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,200
I SAID, "NIGGER, WHAT DO SMOKING
REEFER GOT TO DO WITH MY SHOES?"
613
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,370
HE SAID, "BIRST OF BALL"--
614
00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:03,497
RIGHT. BECAUSE THEY DON'T
SAY, "FIRST OF ALL."
615
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:06,130
THEY GO, "BIRST OF BALL,
YOU GOT TO RUN
616
00:25:06,133 --> 00:25:07,433
TO THE REEFER SPOT"...
617
00:25:13,767 --> 00:25:15,427
"THEN YOU AND YOUR BUDDIES,
Y'ALL GOT TO RUN DOWN
618
00:25:15,433 --> 00:25:18,133
"THE STREET AND GET YOU ONE
OF THEM DAMN CIGARS.
619
00:25:18,133 --> 00:25:20,503
"THEN Y'ALL SIT ON THE STOOP,
AND YOU ROLL UP YOUR LITTLE,
620
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,800
"STUPID-ASS REEFERS.
621
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,370
"THEN Y'ALL RUN UP
ON THE BUILDING.
622
00:25:24,367 --> 00:25:27,327
"YOU SMOKE YOUR LITTLE,
STUPID-ASS REEFERS.
623
00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:30,133
"THEN Y'ALL GO BACK TO THE
STORE WHEN YOU FINISHED
624
00:25:30,133 --> 00:25:32,773
"BECAUSE YOU HUNGRY.
625
00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:37,327
SEE, THAT PUT A LOT OF WEAR
AND TEAR ON YOUR SHOES."
626
00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:38,573
HE SAID, "I GET A BAG OF DOPE,
627
00:25:38,567 --> 00:25:42,267
I BE HERE ALL
MOTHERFUCKING DAY."
628
00:25:42,266 --> 00:25:46,566
SAID, "I DON'T NEVER
FUCK UP MY SHOES."
629
00:25:46,567 --> 00:25:48,297
I LOVE MY UNCLE DOPE.
630
00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:49,800
ONE OF MY FAVORITE
PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
631
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,370
WE BROUGHT HIM TO
AN AMUSEMENT PARK.
632
00:25:52,367 --> 00:25:54,097
YOU KNOW, WE TOOK HIM TO
THE AMUSEMENT PARK.
633
00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:55,630
WE AIN'T TELL IT COST NOTHING.
634
00:25:55,633 --> 00:25:58,133
WE JUST TOLD HIM IT WAS
FROM THE CHURCH, YOU KNOW,
635
00:25:58,133 --> 00:25:59,773
MY GRANDMOTHER'S CHURCH.
636
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:02,897
SO HE WAS LIKE, "ALL
RIGHT. LET'S GO."
637
00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:05,330
AND NIGHT BEFORE WAS THE BEST
SHIT BECAUSE HE LAID ALL HIS
638
00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:08,933
BRAND-NEW OLD CLOTHES OUT,
AND HE STANDING IN FRONT
639
00:26:08,934 --> 00:26:12,734
OF THEM, DANCING, YOU KNOW,
THE DOPE FIEND DANCE.
640
00:26:12,734 --> 00:26:17,374
"I'M GONNA BE OFF THE HOOK."
641
00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:19,867
WE ALL GET OUT TO THE AMUSEMENT
PARK, AND EVERYBODY LOVING
642
00:26:19,867 --> 00:26:22,627
HIM, THE KIDS RUNNING AROUND,
"UNCLE DOPE, UNCLE DOPE,
643
00:26:22,633 --> 00:26:24,633
GIVE ME A DOLLAR."
AND HE GOT THIS MOVE.
644
00:26:24,633 --> 00:26:25,733
HE BE LIKE, "GET THE"--
645
00:26:27,467 --> 00:26:28,827
YOU EVER SEEN--YOU
EVER SEEN THAT SHIT?
646
00:26:28,834 --> 00:26:30,004
"Y'ALL BETTER GET THE FUCK"--
647
00:26:32,533 --> 00:26:34,633
"FUCKING AROUND AND SHIT."
648
00:26:37,934 --> 00:26:39,674
SO ALL THE KIDS JUMPING
AROUND, AND WE HAVING
649
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,327
A GOOD-ASS TIME.
650
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:44,073
MY AUNT GONNA COME TO
THE FUCKING--WHERE WE WAS
651
00:26:44,066 --> 00:26:46,166
EATING AND GO,
"UNCLE DOPE, YOU BETTER
652
00:26:46,166 --> 00:26:47,796
"GET ON ONE OF THESE
MOTHERFUCKING RIDES.
653
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,030
WE PAID $40 FOR
YOU TO BE HERE."
654
00:26:53,533 --> 00:26:58,003
THAT NIGGER FOUND OUT THAT
TRIP COST $40, LOST IT.
655
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,530
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE AMUSEMENT PARK, HE WAS
656
00:26:59,533 --> 00:27:00,903
LIKE, "WHAT?!"
657
00:27:08,633 --> 00:27:13,473
"$40?! FOR RIDES?"
658
00:27:13,467 --> 00:27:14,697
HE SAID,
"BITCH, YOU KNOW WHAT KIND
659
00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:19,200
OF RIDE I COULD HAVE BEEN
ON FOR 40 GODDAMN--I SHOULD
660
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,430
KNOCK THE SHIT OUT YOU."
661
00:27:21,433 --> 00:27:23,233
HEY. MY NAME RASHEED.
GOOD NIGHT, Y'ALL.
662
00:27:23,233 --> 00:27:25,203
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
663
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:34,600
- LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
664
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,000
HAVE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME?
665
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,200
WELL, ACT LIKE YOU KNOW.
666
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,370
STAND UP AND GIVE
THEM SOME, Y'ALL.
667
00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:40,897
AND HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
SOMETHING FOR THE MAN WHO MADE
668
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:42,130
THIS ALL POSSIBLE?
669
00:27:42,133 --> 00:27:43,833
GIVE IT UP FOR MY
MAN RUSSELL SIMMONS!
670
00:27:43,834 --> 00:27:45,134
- DO SOMETHING!
671
00:27:45,133 --> 00:27:47,173
[HIP-HOP PLAYING]
672
00:27:49,233 --> 00:27:52,173
- THANK YOU FOR COMING.
GOD BLESS YOU, GOOD NIGHT.
673
00:27:52,166 --> 00:27:54,266
[HIP-HOP PLAYING]
674
00:27:54,266 --> 00:27:57,266
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
HOME BOX OFFICE, INC.
675
00:27:57,266 --> 00:28:00,896
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
676
00:28:00,946 --> 00:28:05,496
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
51638
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