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Andrew: I was thinking we could
get a bottle of sambuca...
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00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,712
Suggs: Hi. Andrew Wright?
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00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,192
Andrew:
...and head down to the beach.
4
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:19,715
Suggs: That's him right there?
Thank you.
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00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,239
Andrew: You can buy me dinner,
or...
6
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,372
Suggs:
Hey, take a walk, Heels.
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00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:25,895
Andrew: Uh...
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00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,418
You, uh, Andrew Wright?
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00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:30,073
Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, I am.
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00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,640
Suggs: Inspector Suggs,
Department of Real Estate,
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00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,642
Home Inspection Unit.
Just like to ask you
12
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:35,905
a couple of routine questions.
Andrew: All right.
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00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,646
Suggs:
You sold a property, right,
14
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:39,952
on the twenty-two-hundred block
of Hillhurst Avenue?
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00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,606
Andrew: Uh, no, I did not.
16
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:43,173
Suggs: Oh.
Andrew: I sold one on Hillhurst,
17
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:46,524
but it was the
two-thousand-two-hundred block.
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00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:49,353
Suggs: But you know
that twenty-two-hundred
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00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:52,095
is just another, some would say
more efficient way
20
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,924
of saying
two-thousand-two-hundred, right?
21
00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:58,449
Andrew: Sure.
You say tomato, I say apple.
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00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:00,756
Suggs: Okay, let's call
the whole thing off, right?
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00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,584
Andrew: What?
24
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,560
Suggs: You were there.
You were there.
25
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,997
On that block,
you sold a property
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00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,608
on the 14th of last month.
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00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,610
Am I correct?
Andrew: 14th what?
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00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,091
Suggs: The 14th day of last --
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00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,876
Andrew: I didn't know
if you meant 14th sandwich.
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00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:36,618
I didn't know if you meant
14th-feet-tall.
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I was there, I remember, because
it's right before middle day.
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Suggs:
Well, I'm in a bit of a pickle.
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Andrew: I love pickles.
Suggs: Yeah.
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00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,801
Because the buyer
of that property said
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00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:48,717
that somebody filled up
the termite holes
36
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:53,113
with wood putty,
and that's a big problem for me.
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00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,897
Andrew: That sounds like
something I'd do.
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00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:55,898
Oh, I did it.
39
00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,160
I will be honest with you,
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00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,596
I don't know
anything about that.
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00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,685
And if I did see termite holes,
42
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,165
I would have to report 'em.
That's --
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00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:04,428
Suggs: You would have
to report them.
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00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,648
Andrew: Yes.
Suggs: And yet,
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00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,998
I don't think you reported 'em.
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00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,479
You were the last person
on that property
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00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:13,220
and you know what?
Andrew: What?
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00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,135
Suggs: I've been doing this job
a long time.
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00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,484
Andrew: How long?
How long have you been doing it?
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00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:17,876
Suggs:
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00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:20,444
And I swear I smell
wood putty on you.
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00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,490
Andrew: I don't know what to
tell you, but you're barking up
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00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,753
the wrong tree, man.
I...don't do that.
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00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:29,714
I -- I -- I go by the book.
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00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:30,933
Suggs:
It's a really cheap sweater.
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00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:32,239
Andrew: I got it at Marshalls.
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00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,588
Suggs: Come on,
let's take a walk.
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00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:35,198
Andrew: Okay. You're hurting me.
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00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:36,852
Suggs: What about this?
Andrew: No, that hurts.
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00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,288
Suggs: Does this hurt?
Andrew: No, that's all right.
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00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,202
Suggs: All right,
how about that?
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00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:41,509
Andrew: That hurts again.
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00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:49,125
Baxter: I'm on my way to Malibu
to meet up with my clients
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00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:51,997
and ex-boyfriends
Brandoon and Gizzy.
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00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,956
It's very awkward,
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00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,784
because I dumped both of them
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00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,829
and now they're
dating each other.
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00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:02,878
Yeah, so this is a double lot,
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00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:05,620
so you can build a guest house
on the other lot
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00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,187
if you wanted to.
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00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,890
Why don't we just
kind of address
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00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,500
the elephant in the room?
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00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,372
Gizzy: This chandelier?
Baxter: No. No. No.
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00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:20,112
Brandoon: I mean, it's -- it's
definitely ugly.
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00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:21,766
Baxter: No, I wasn't talking
about the chandelier, guys.
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00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,159
Gizzy: Oh.
Baxter: I'm talking about that
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00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,553
I dated both of you
at different times
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00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:28,817
in my life and now you're
together and I --
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00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,297
I think that's good if we just
didn't talk about it.
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00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,733
Gizzy: No, there's nothing --
nothing weird
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00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,387
about this, Baxter.
It's great to see you.
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00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:34,866
You look great, as ever.
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00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,477
Baxter: Oh, thank you.
Yeah, now, yeah.
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00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,392
Gizzy: You're probably still
just as dark inside,
85
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,176
but beautiful on the outside.
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00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,482
Baxter: Wait. What?
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00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,005
Gizzy:
After dating you and seeing
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00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:45,399
how bad a relationship can be,
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00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:48,271
we learned what we wanted
from a relationship.
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00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,968
You are like my air.
It was like, this is good.
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00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,796
Brandoon:
Air, breathing, I'm alive.
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00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,363
Gizzy: This is bad.
Brandoon: Yeah.
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00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:54,843
Gizzy:
And then this was so good!
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00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,323
Baxter: I'm sorry, I --
Brandoon: We just, like,
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00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,238
latched onto each other.
And it's been heaven.
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Baxter:
Bitch, bitch, bitch, please.
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00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:03,895
I am the best boyfriend
anyone could ask for. Bitch!
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00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:06,768
Gizzy: I waited eight hours
in an airport to go to Jamaica
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00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,292
with you, and you never showed.
Baxter: Yeah. I'm sorry, okay?
100
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:11,599
Ryan Seacrest invited me
to go out on his boat,
101
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,253
and I'd been waiting
for that invitation
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00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,384
for a long time and I got it.
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00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,559
You don't turn down
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a Seacrest at sea invite.
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00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:20,085
I was, you know,
probably your best lover?
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00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:21,783
Gizzy: You were terrible.
Brandoon: Sex with you,
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00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,220
you just laid there,
I did all the work --
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00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,830
Gizzy: You were the laziest top
I've ever been with.
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00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,397
Brandoon: So lazy.
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00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,617
Gizzy: When you put
your iPad on my back
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00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:32,489
and was answering e-mails,
it's rude.
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00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:35,449
Brandoon: When you're inside of
me, don't check your Twitter.
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Baxter: I had a bunch
of @replies from Seacrest.
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00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:42,107
Brandoon: Your DMs with Seacrest
are not my problem.
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00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,457
Baxter: If I get a DM
from Seacrest,
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00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,633
I got to respond
immediately, okay?
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00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:48,157
Brandoon: I don't want your DM,
I want your D in.
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00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,812
Gizzy: Your DM made me
want to have a BM.
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00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:52,901
Brandoon:
When we have penetratio,
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00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:56,165
as I like to call it, it's like
I'm taking a strawberry,
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00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,732
putting it on a skewer,
and then dipping it into a...
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00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,386
Gizzy: Aww.
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00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:02,214
Brandoon: ...like an artisanal
chocolate fountain.
124
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,173
Baxter: Sounds like you're
getting poo everywhere.
125
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:05,305
Gizzy: No, very little.
126
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,610
Baxter: I am fine.
127
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:09,178
None of this is even
bothering me.
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00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:11,006
I don't...
What?
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00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:19,057
Amir: My new client
wants me to meet him
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00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,146
at Huntington Gardens
in Pasadena.
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00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:23,584
Normally, I don't do gardens
or Pasadena,
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00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:26,891
but he's got a $12 million house
to sell, so I'm there.
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00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:38,207
Hello?
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00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,209
Gio: Hello? Who is this?
135
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,646
Amir: Oh, fuck.
Gio: Hello?
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00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:45,867
Oh, funny who you happen
to run into here in Pasadena.
137
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,869
Amir: How are you, Gio?
Gio: Oh, thank you for asking.
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00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,349
I'm good.
Amir: What are you doing
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00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,567
in the Huntington --
Gio: Wait. Just a second.
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00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:53,091
Oh, can I conference you,
my friend?
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00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,441
Pick up.
Serge: Hello!
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00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,572
Gio: Oh!
Serge: Oh!
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00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:57,618
Look who you run into,
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00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,837
out here on the passage to Eden
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00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,796
called Pasadena.
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00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,363
Amir: Oh, God,
this can't be good.
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00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,321
Serge and Gio warned me
to stop doing business
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00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:06,714
in Beverly Hills Post Office.
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00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,106
Gio: What the fuck
are you doing here?
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00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,760
Serge: What the fuck
are you doing here?
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00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,762
Stay out of Beverly Hills
Post Office.
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00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,721
Gio: Cement blocks?
Serge: Cement blocks.
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00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,157
Gio: Wonder what these
are doing here.
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00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:17,333
Serge: A gun. I didn't see this.
Gio: Whoa.
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00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:18,856
Serge: Wow. That must
be yours, I guess, huh?
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00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:20,118
Gio: It's just here.
I guess so.
157
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,598
Serge: Okay.
Yeah, that's great.
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00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,208
You hold that. That's great.
That's great.
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00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:25,385
Thank you.
Gio: Got that. Oh, no.
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00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,125
Oh, no. Now we got that.
Serge: Oh, no.
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00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,084
Gio: Cement blocks
and rope and chains.
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00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:30,868
Serge: And a gun with
your fingerprints on it.
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00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:33,131
That's crazy! This is crazy!
Gio: That's crazy. That's crazy.
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00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,003
Serge: How did we get here?!
Gio: I don't know!
165
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:38,006
It's like sometimes the little
parts add up into something --
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00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:40,922
Serge: "All the Small Things,"
like Blink 182 says, right?
167
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,445
What does Blink 182 say?
Gio: "All the Small Things,"
168
00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,404
what do they say?
Serge: What does Blink 182 say?
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00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,666
Amir: "All the Small Things."
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00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:48,103
Ugh. Time to plead for my life,
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00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,234
once again, with these guys.
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00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:50,322
I don't understand.
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00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,889
I got out of your turf, man.
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00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,630
I'm out of Beverly Hills
Post Office.
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00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,371
God damn it, Serge!
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00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:57,808
Come on, man! Personal space.
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00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,636
Gio: It's a lot of cologne
today, Serge, even for you.
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00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,377
Amir: Yeah, Jesus.
Serge: You think it's too much?
179
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:03,597
Amir: What is...? What is that?
Gio: No. Totally wrong.
180
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,512
Serge: I make it, I make it.
I make it myself.
181
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,730
It's good, yeah?
Gio: It's working, it's good.
182
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,166
Amir: No, it's not good,
it's like...
183
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,430
Gio: That's you.
Amir: It's like, it's like,
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00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,041
like a reptile.
Serge: It's got actual
185
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:15,304
alligator pheromones in it.
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00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,001
Amir: Why are you trying to
attract a fucking alligator?
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00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,350
Serge: What? I'm not gay, man.
You think I'm gay?
188
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,091
Gio: You think he's gay?
Amir: Oh, God.
189
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,311
Wait, so are they going to
feed me to a gay alligator?
190
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,574
The suspense of how they're
going to kill me is killing me.
191
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:27,272
Amir: Please, Serge?!
Come on, man, Gio?!
192
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:28,622
I actually like you guys.
I think you guys --
193
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:29,666
Serge:
It's the alligator pheromones.
194
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,059
Gio: 'Cause it's the pheromones.
195
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,277
You can't help it.
It drives you crazy.
196
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,192
It goes to the reptile brain
197
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,717
and your reptile brain says,
"I got to eat this guy's dick."
198
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,849
Amir: Okay. This is excruciating
and they haven't
199
00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,111
even started killing me yet.
200
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,765
Gio: Little secret.
Amir: What?
201
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,245
Gio: You got to swear...
Serge: Pinky swear. Pinky swear.
202
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,681
Gio: ...pinky swear
you're not going to say
203
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:45,639
anything about this.
Serge: Pinky swear.
204
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,162
Gio: Okay. Okay.
205
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,729
These were not for you.
Serge: It's not for you.
206
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:49,817
Gio: We were laying in wait
for somebody else.
207
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,122
Serge: No.
208
00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:52,428
Gio:
We're gonna kill someone else.
209
00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:53,560
Serge: We're killing
his mistress.
210
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,386
Gio: Ex-mistress.
Serge: Yeah.
211
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,387
Amir: Wow!
212
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:56,911
Just a classic mix 'em up.
213
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:59,261
Good thing I didn't
quietly shit my pants.
214
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,958
If you see a very,
very young Armenian girl --
215
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,264
Amir: I am not going to tell her
to come here.
216
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:03,265
Gio: Great. Thank you.
Serge: Okay.
217
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,092
We'll see you later, though.
218
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,746
Amir:
219
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,791
Serge: There we go. Okay.
Gio: Can't believe he bought
220
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,358
the whole mistress thing.
Serge: That was so dumb.
221
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,752
So they hit me over the head
with a cinder block
222
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,144
and threw me into the water.
223
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,233
All's fair in real estate.
224
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,679
Dr. Chambong:
225
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,332
Whoops!
226
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:28,377
Sorry about that.
227
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,944
I was in the other room
228
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:32,555
operating on a horse.
229
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:35,906
So let's get started.
230
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,560
Todd: I just feel like that
Dean and I
231
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,910
could really benefit
from couples therapy.
232
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,564
Dr. Chambong: Listen,
everyone can benefit
233
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:42,870
from couples therapy.
234
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,480
Dean:
Can I stop you right there?
235
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,437
Dr. Chambong: You are.
236
00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:47,048
Dean: We are not a couple.
237
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,529
And I was tricked
into being here.
238
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,748
I was told that there
was an important meeting
239
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,924
that required
my urgent attendance.
240
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,883
DJ:
Papa fell for it.
241
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,537
I told him there was
a last-minute
242
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,713
Knights of Templar meeting.
243
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:01,715
He's in too many
secret societies.
244
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:03,194
He can't keep 'em straight.
245
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,500
Todd: Well, we are two people.
246
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,980
Dr. Chambong:
So you're a couple.
247
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:07,895
Dean: No. I --
Dr. Chambong: And I want you
248
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:10,593
to describe the other person
249
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:13,770
in terms of metaphors
just to get things going.
250
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:17,513
Todd:
I feel like...
251
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:20,298
when Dean talks to me,
252
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:23,693
he talks down to me,
like I'm a janitor.
253
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,783
Dr. Chambong: Excellent.
How do you feel about that?
254
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:31,527
Dean: I feel as if Todd thinks
that a metaphor is a megaphone.
255
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,050
Dr. Chambong: I see.
256
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,399
Dean:
How do you feel about that?
257
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,837
Dr. Chambong:
I feel that that's valid.
258
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:38,316
Todd: This is kind of
the dismissive tone
259
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,231
that he often uses towards me.
260
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,972
And he treats me like a janitor.
261
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,234
Dean: Yes, which you are.
262
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:45,410
Dr. Chambong:
But he's also a...
263
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,456
person.
Dean: Right. I don't care.
264
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:48,979
Todd: Can I tell you, like,
some of the things
265
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,590
that I have to do at work?
Dr. Chambong: Yes.
266
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,766
Like, if there's a stain
on the counter,
267
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:55,551
like if somebody spilled coffee
or whatever, it's always me --
268
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,118
it's always me
who has to clean it up.
269
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,598
Dr. Chambong:
So he's always making stains.
270
00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,903
Todd: Yes.
271
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:00,991
Dr. Chambong:
Stain, stain, stain.
272
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:01,949
Dean: Please don't say stain --
273
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:02,993
Todd: Stain, stain, stain.
274
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,255
Dr. Chambong: Besides stains,
275
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,735
what else do you have to do?
276
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,215
Todd: Spills.
Dr. Chambong: Spills?
277
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:08,869
Dean: We're only just now
moving off of stains?
278
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,784
Dr. Chambong: Spills and stains.
279
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,134
Dean: Yes! Yes!
Dr. Chambong: Oh, my God.
280
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,353
Dean: It is taking
all of my energy
281
00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:18,008
to tamp down
my murderous rage.
282
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:20,315
Dr. Chambong:
Todd, you think of him
283
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,447
as more of an employer,
is that right?
284
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:23,884
Todd: Yeah, I mean, so far,
285
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,929
we've kind of been
in that kind of role.
286
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,236
Dr. Chambong: Let's pretend
you're outside of the office
287
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,325
and you don't have
that relationship.
288
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,718
Dean: 'Cause he's been fired?
289
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,721
Dr. Chambong: No.
This is a hypothetical.
290
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,200
Dean: I'll say.
Todd: So it's a metaphor?
291
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,811
Dr. Chambong: Yes.
Todd: Okay.
292
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:39,769
Dr. Chambong: So what would
a day like that be?
293
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,597
Todd: Feel like we'd
go wine tasting.
294
00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:43,381
Dr. Chambong: That's amazing.
Todd: Feel like I got to
295
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:46,036
teach this guy a thing or two
about Pinot Noirs.
296
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,559
Dr. Chambong: Mm-hmm.
Todd: Feel like we'd play
297
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,779
some Ski-Ball.
Dr. Chambong: Oh, that's fun.
298
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,520
Todd: You know?
I'd love to find like,
299
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,915
one of those doo-wop
garbage fires.
300
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,699
Dr. Chambong: Ohh! I love that!
Todd: Yeah.
301
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,745
Just me-- Just men being men.
302
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,268
Dr. Chambong: Oh, man.
Todd: Hanging out.
303
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,835
Todd: ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
304
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,837
Dr. Chambong:
♪ Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
305
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,229
Todd: ♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
Dr. Chambong: ♪ Woo-ooh-ooh ♪
306
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,928
Todd:
♪ Doo-wop Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
307
00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:09,407
Dr. Chambong: You don't like
the slow doo-wop.
308
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:10,670
How about we speed it up?
309
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,541
Todd: ♪ Bow-ba-do, ba-do-ba-do ♪
310
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:15,587
Dr. Chambong: ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
Todd: ♪ Bow-ba-do, ba-do-ba-do ♪
311
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:18,678
Dr. Chambong: ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
Todd: ♪ Bow-ba-do, ba-do-ba-do ♪
312
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,636
Dr. Chambong:
♪ Ooh, you're leaving ♪
313
00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:22,812
Todd: ♪ Ba-do, boop-a-do-bow ♪
314
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,988
♪ Ba-do, ba-do, boop-a-do-boo ♪
Dr. Chambong: ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
315
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,164
Todd: ♪ Boo-ba-do-ba-do ♪
316
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:30,167
♪ Boop-a-do-bow, ba-do-ba-do ♪
Dr. Chambong: ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
317
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,866
♪ Ooooooooooh ♪
Todd: ♪ Whoo-whoo-ooh ♪
318
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:36,043
Both:
319
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:44,268
Baxter: This house tour is
technically going very well
320
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,748
with my exes Brandoon and Gizzy.
321
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,794
They're clearly very happy,
322
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:50,579
and if I'm being honest,
it bothers me a lot.
323
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:53,974
This is the kitchen here.
324
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:56,672
Gizzy: Oh, my God.
The size of this.
325
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,370
Baxter: Stainless steel stove.
326
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,633
Gizzy: Is this solid marble?
Brandoon: Just one slab?
327
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,548
Baxter: Yes, this is one slab.
Gizzy: Oh, wow.
328
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:06,943
Baxter: So how did you guys,
uh, meet each other?
329
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:09,641
Brandoon: Oh, uh,
like a Facebook group thing.
330
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,208
Baxter: Oh, cool, cool.
Gizzy: Yeah.
331
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,906
Brandoon: Gizzy, Gizzy,
look at this.
332
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,864
This is not the fridge,
it's a cupboard, and then...
333
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,518
Gizzy: Oh, my God.
All of this storage space.
334
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:18,128
Brandoon: ...the fridge! What?
Baxter: The fridge is --
335
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:21,088
a built in refrigerator.
What was the Facebook group?
336
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,350
What are you guys --
what are your interests?
337
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:23,960
Gizzy:
It's a community of people,
338
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,701
everybody's been dumped by you.
Brandoon: Yeah,
339
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:26,876
it's called the...
Baxter: What?
340
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,008
Brandoon: ...Anti-Baxers.
341
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:29,357
Baxter: The Anti-Baxers?
342
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:30,967
I'm going to look this up.
343
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:34,492
This is a public Facebook group
with 92 members.
344
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,103
Gizzy: Oh, we got a couple more.
Brandoon: Oh, a few!
345
00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:38,583
Gizzy: Yeah. Yeah.
It's a hard city
346
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,499
until you find your community,
and so it's really been great,
347
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,545
just all that people that have
so much in common.
348
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:46,156
Brandoon: Yeah, it's like we
all went through the Holocaust
349
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:48,898
together, but that Holocaust
was loving you.
350
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:51,118
Gizzy: Yeah.
Baxter: There are 500 photos
351
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:53,033
and a calendar of events.
352
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,078
What is this?
You own a time share together?
353
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,819
Brandoon:
Uh, in Arrowhead, yeah.
354
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:58,690
Baxter: What?!
Gizzy: Well, we just found
355
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,780
that we were going to Arrowhead
so often with the group
356
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,346
that we just thought,
why don't we all chip in
357
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,348
and we own real estate together?
Baxter: How often do you
358
00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,655
go to Arrowhead with
the Anti-Baxers?
359
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:07,830
Brandoon: Like, twice a month,
on the weekends.
360
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:08,700
Baxter: What?!
361
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:09,614
It's like, get a job,
362
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,007
you dumb sluts.
363
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,139
Am I ever going to get invited
364
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,357
to this stupid thing?!
365
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:14,228
Gizzy: The whole point is
366
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:15,533
that you're not invited,
367
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:16,752
'cause we don't want
you in our lives.
368
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,188
But we all like each other.
369
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,842
Baxter: Fat Adam's on here?
Gizzy: Yeah.
370
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,061
Brandoon: We just call him
Regular Adam.
371
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,453
Gizzy: Yeah, we don't add
the "Fat."
372
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,151
Baxter: Short Bill?
373
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,022
Gizzy: No wonder these people
were broken up by you.
374
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,458
Why are you calling people that?
375
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,982
Baxter: Fucked-Up Foot Phil?
376
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,244
Brandoon: Well, Phil does
have a fucked-up foot.
377
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,723
Gizzy: He does, he does.
Baxter: Yeah.
378
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,812
That's the only way
I could tell him apart
379
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,075
from Fucked-Up Hand Lou.
380
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,341
Andrew: This home inspector
is accusing me
381
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:43,257
of hiding termite damage,
and I am totally innocent.
382
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,563
Except that I did it.
But he doesn't know that.
383
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,872
Why are we even in here?
I didn't do anything.
384
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,308
Suggs:
Yeah, you didn't do anything?
385
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,006
Andrew: I -- I told you
everything I know!
386
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,617
Ow! You're hurting me.
Suggs: You know what?
387
00:13:55,617 --> 00:14:00,578
My guess is that you
did a lot of things.
388
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,363
I know what you're doing. You're
not going to find anything.
389
00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:04,104
That's my "buger" hand.
390
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,366
Suggs: Your what?
Andrew: I'm a "buger" man.
391
00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,411
I pick almost constantly.
392
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,631
Suggs: Did you say "bugers"?
Andrew: Yeah, "bugers."
393
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:11,285
Suggs: That's not how
you pronounce it.
394
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,200
Andrew: This is a waste
of everybody's time!
395
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,810
It's not a waste of my time
at all.
396
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:16,464
We're going to talk a little bit
while we wait
397
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:17,944
for this thing...
Andrew: Wait for what?
398
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,554
You haven't even told me
what we're doing here.
399
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,295
Suggs: ...to turn colors.
Andrew: What is that?
400
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,775
Suggs: If that turns red,
you're off the hook.
401
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,168
Andrew: Okay. What if...?
402
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:26,866
Suggs: If it turns blue,
you're screwed.
403
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,258
Andrew: What's going to
make it turn blue?
404
00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:29,956
Suggs: Wood putty is going to
405
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,958
make that turn blue!
406
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,176
Andrew:
This is so scary!
407
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:36,005
I'm all alone with
Inspector Suggs.
408
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:38,878
I wish his name
was Inspector Hugs.
409
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,141
Suggs: You know, I've had my eye
on you a long time.
410
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:43,404
Loooooong, long, long,
long, long, long, long time.
411
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:46,146
Andrew:
What are you talking about?
Why were you following me?!
412
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,713
Suggs: 'Cause you are
interesting to me.
413
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:51,716
You are interesting to me.
414
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:54,241
Andrew: You delivered me
a sandwich.
415
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,896
Suggs: Chicken Parm?
Andrew: On Tracy Street,
416
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,158
and you delivered me
a chicken Parm. That was you.
417
00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,768
Suggs: That's right.
That's right.
418
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,030
Andrew: And you said,
"Can I use your bathroom?"
419
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,292
Suggs: That's right.
I did, didn't I?
420
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:03,903
Andrew:
You were in there so long,
421
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,296
I was laughing.
Suggs: Oh, I filled that toilet
422
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:09,169
with my own human garbage,
but you know where else I went?
423
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:12,215
Went up into the attic,
I went down into the basement.
424
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:13,869
Andrew:
Son of a bitch!
425
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:17,177
The basement
that you called "finished"...
426
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,918
Andrew: Was finished!
Suggs: ...unfinished!
427
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,920
Unfinished!
Andrew: No! No!
428
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:26,012
Suggs: A carpet on cement does
not a finished basement make!
429
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:30,407
Andrew:
Fiiiiiiiiiiine!
430
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:33,236
I did it! I filled the --
431
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:35,325
the termite holes
with wood putty!
432
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:38,328
You would've done
the same thing!
433
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,330
A sale needs to happen!
434
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,028
What am I supposed to do?!
435
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,943
They would've shut it down!
436
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,162
They would've shut it down.
437
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:49,470
I needed to make the money!
438
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,647
I need to make the money.
439
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,783
Suggs:
What color's that?
440
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,394
Andrew: It's...
441
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,396
Suggs: It's red.
Andrew: Red?
442
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,311
Suggs: Yeah.
Andrew: I was going to say red.
443
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:07,662
Suggs: That means you're
off the hook, right?
444
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,838
Andrew: Oh, shit.
445
00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:11,971
Suggs:
Or you would be.
446
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,494
Andrew: This is
the wood putty hand,
447
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,061
this is my booger hand.
448
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,063
Suggs: Well, hard to
keep track of 'em.
449
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,847
Andrew: I always use one,
450
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:21,719
'cause I don't want to get
wood putty and then be like...
451
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,116
Suggs: Yeah.
Andrew: Question --
452
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,901
Too late to --
to pull over you on it?
453
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:32,513
Suggs: Yeah.
Andrew: What happens now?
454
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:36,082
Suggs: Fine. $350.
455
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:40,086
Andrew: Oh, God.
Suggs: That you can appeal.
456
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,391
Andrew: Okay.
457
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,089
Suggs: And...
458
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,742
it's pronounced "boogers."
459
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,535
Victoria: Serge and Gio called.
460
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,058
They want to meet me
at Huntington Gardens,
461
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,408
so they can apologize.
This better be good.
462
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,149
Gio: Oh, my God,
you look beautiful today.
463
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:01,890
Victoria: Yes, I know,
but I don't have a lot of time.
464
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,370
Gio: You look beautiful today.
Well, we thank you so much
465
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,154
for coming to meet us
on just a beautiful day.
466
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:07,156
Do you have to have a reason
to get together when you're...
467
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,549
Victoria: With you, yes.
Gio: ...in the same business.
468
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:09,637
Well, we just want to say,
469
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:10,855
look, there's no hard feelings.
470
00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:12,422
Water under the bridge.
471
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,163
We'll break Chardonnay together
is what we'll do.
472
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:16,296
Victoria: Why does mine have
a straw and those two don't?
473
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:17,906
Gio: They fell out of these two.
474
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:20,082
It had two, and the wind --
it was a windy day.
475
00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:21,736
Don't think about the straw,
think about the Chardonnay.
476
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,303
Victoria: It looks like
you purposely gave me
477
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:24,521
the one with the straw.
Gio: No, no, no.
478
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:25,957
Victoria:
That's what it seems like.
479
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,350
Well, then why don't we
switch glasses?
480
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:28,525
Gio: Why don't you
switch glasses?
481
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,136
Victoria:
That's what I'm saying.
482
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,746
Why don't we switch glasses?
Gio: Well, why don't we?
483
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,139
Well, if you do that,
then I'll just do this, too.
484
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,792
Victoria: No.
Gio: There you go. See?
485
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,098
Now it doesn't matter.
Victoria: It's the same glass.
486
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,621
Gio: Look, it doesn't matter.
487
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:38,840
Victoria: What,
are you trying to roofie me?
488
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:39,884
You think I'm some kind
of idiot?
489
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,191
Gio: Roofie?
490
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:43,975
Hey, she thinks we're
trying to roofie her.
491
00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:45,542
Serge: Oh!
Gio: No, no, no.
492
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:48,284
Victoria, you are about
25 years too old
493
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,807
for me to try to roofie you.
494
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,158
I save my roofies for
the young girls.
495
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,420
Gio: Yeah, roofies
don't grow on trees.
496
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,117
Serge:
I no roofie you, my friend.
497
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,814
Victoria: Okay. I'm very young.
I just seem mature,
498
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:58,164
because I make so much.
Gio: Yellow don't crack. Okay.
499
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,730
Serge:
Yeah, that's what they say.
500
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,254
Like a China doll.
Victoria: No, I'm not Chinese.
501
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,429
Gio: Like a beautiful
porcelain China doll.
502
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:03,430
Victoria:
We have been over this.
503
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,605
Serge: Take the compliment.
504
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,172
Victoria: I am not Asian!
505
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,304
And I not too old to be roofied!
506
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,653
Listen, I've been roofied, okay?
507
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,351
I don't need
to get roofied again.
508
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,570
Serge: You've not been roofied
until you've been roofied
509
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,442
by Serge and Gio.
Victoria: Why is it different?
510
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:17,531
Gio: Mariah Carey, look.
Serge: Oh, my God, Mariah Carey!
511
00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:18,793
Victoria:
Why would Mariah Carey --
512
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,403
Serge: Mariah Carey!
513
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,144
We love you!
Victoria: Ugh!
514
00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:24,320
The assholes are wasting
my time.
515
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,974
Serge: We fucked up.
Victoria: You didfuck up.
516
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:28,194
Serge: Chinese broad like you,
you deserve better.
517
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,412
Victoria:
Serge: And we'll get you...
518
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:30,631
Victoria:
Can't drink anything here,
519
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,067
so do you want some?
520
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,939
Serge:
I'll take a little bit. Sure.
521
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,724
Gio: Don't drink it.
522
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,293
Serge: That's poison.
Oh, yeah, that's poison.
523
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:41,859
Gio: No. No.
Serge: That's poison.
524
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:43,209
Yeah, yeah, that's poison.
Gio: Oh, it's burning.
525
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,166
Victoria:
That's very expensive poison.
526
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,298
Serge: Ah, shit, that's roofies!
527
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,864
Ah!
I got poison and roofies!
528
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:49,084
Gio: Oh, it's hot.
Serge: Oh, it's hot, hot poison.
529
00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:51,173
Wait, which would did we
put the straw in the...?
530
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:52,435
Victoria:
Yeah, just try 'em all.
531
00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:53,958
Serge:
Take the roofies to go to sleep.
532
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,134
Victoria: I have an open house
I have to get to.
533
00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:57,875
Gio:
That's just terrible Chardonnay.
534
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,007
Victoria: But I hope
we learned a lesson here.
535
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,443
Gio: The poison with the roofie
536
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:01,879
is kind of a good --
kind of a double whammy.
537
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,229
Victoria: Right.
Serge: It feels kind of neat.
538
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,449
Victoria: Guys,
next time I see you,
539
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,582
don't bring this bullshit.
540
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,105
Look how fast he went.
Well, you know what?
541
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,193
This fucker...
542
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,195
I cannot pass up
this opportunity
543
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,414
to get a little payback.
544
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,676
Victoria:
We get each other. Hey!
545
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:16,633
Serge: Don't be a battered
woman.
546
00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:17,721
Don't be a battered woman.
547
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:18,592
Gio: Don't be a battered woman.
548
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:19,767
Serge: You're a cunt.
549
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:20,898
Victoria: Oh, hey, shit head.
550
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,770
Oh, hi. Hi. Hi.
551
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,554
Yeah, You little cunt.
You like that?
552
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:27,078
Like that, you little cunt?
I bet you do, huh?
553
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:29,429
You can't do shit.
I'm so sick of you two.
554
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:31,953
Do not call me again!
555
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:34,260
Gio: Konnichiwa.
Victoria: No!
556
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:43,617
Baxter: So I'm driving
over two hours east
557
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:46,402
to Lake Arrowhead
to give the Anti-Baxers
558
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,099
a little piece of my mind.
559
00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:55,759
Gizzy: Anybody else
need more margaritas?
560
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,152
Yamy: Mmm. I am so full.
Gizzy:
561
00:19:57,152 --> 00:19:58,980
You know what you're doing.
562
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:00,895
Brandoon: So Gizzy and I were
thinking white water rafting
563
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,288
as a good retreat next year.
564
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:03,724
Yamy: Oh, wow.
565
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:05,987
Baxter: Hello?!
566
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:09,164
Oh, hey! Look who it is!
567
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:12,385
The Anti-Baxers!
568
00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:17,259
All my exes!
569
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,869
Adam:
I don't think he'll get through.
570
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,349
Yamy: I don't think he'll fit.
Baxter:
571
00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:22,830
Hello, everybody.
572
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,658
Yeah!
573
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:27,356
Oh, it's me, the worst guy!
574
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:28,923
Get that chicken patty
out of here!
575
00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:30,316
Gizzy:
Baxter: This is a hate group.
576
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:33,493
Okay? You guys are
the bullies, not me.
577
00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:36,060
Yeah, you guys
are wasting my time!
578
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,715
Brandoon, you're the worst,
all right?!
579
00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:41,283
You liked my family!
That's weird!
580
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,806
Brandoon:
Your mother's a treasure.
581
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:44,765
Baxter: Yamy, you wouldn't
even tell my grandma
582
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,375
that I was straight!
583
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,682
I need her to think
I'm straight, okay?!
584
00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:51,075
Or else I'm cut out
of the inheritance!
585
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:53,556
I didn't do anything that I
wanted when I was with you guys!
586
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:57,168
It was all like, "Oh, let's go
out for a little date night."
587
00:20:57,168 --> 00:20:58,779
Stupid.
588
00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:14,098
Don't slow clap.
589
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:16,013
Gizzy: Whoo! Yes! Wow!
590
00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:22,716
Baxter, here you are again
like some deep, dark abyss
591
00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:25,327
that we all have the strength
to climb out of!
592
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,764
Brandoon: Thank you so much
593
00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:29,940
for reminding us
how awful you are.
594
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,551
Yamy: It's crazy!
595
00:21:31,551 --> 00:21:34,249
You fingered me
in front of your grandmother
596
00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:36,251
to prove that you were straight.
Adam: Wow!
597
00:21:36,251 --> 00:21:38,253
Baxter:
Oh, it was like one finger.
598
00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:39,950
Come on, grow up.
599
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:41,604
Adam: What you're hearing
is gratitude.
600
00:21:41,604 --> 00:21:44,041
If there's no villain,
there's no -- no fairytale,
601
00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:46,696
and if there's no fairytale,
there's no happily ever after.
602
00:21:46,696 --> 00:21:49,003
And I think that's
where we all are now.
603
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:52,441
Yamy: Yes.
Adam: So thank you.
604
00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:54,835
Baxter: So I am kind
of the villain or the star?
605
00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:57,316
Yamy: Yeah.
Baxter: So what I'm hearing is
606
00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:01,102
I'm basically a celebrity
and they are my fans.
607
00:22:01,102 --> 00:22:03,147
Fat Adam, you look...good.
608
00:22:03,147 --> 00:22:05,280
Really good.
Adam: Thank you.
609
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,457
Baxter: And I call him fat
because his dick's fat,
610
00:22:08,457 --> 00:22:09,980
not because he was ever fat.
Adam: Wow.
Yamy: Wow.
611
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,591
Adam: You didn't have to
share that with everybody.
612
00:22:11,591 --> 00:22:13,244
Baxter: No, you've got
a fat dick. It looks good.
613
00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:14,681
Adam: It's a show dick.
That's what you always said.
614
00:22:14,681 --> 00:22:16,552
Baxter: I love this.
Adam: Oh. Hey, hey, hey.
615
00:22:16,552 --> 00:22:18,032
Baxter: I love this little...
Brandoon: Resist, Adam. Resist.
616
00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:19,250
Yamy:
He's doing it. Don't do it.
617
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:20,730
Baxter:
Every one of these queens
618
00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:21,862
wants me back, all right?
619
00:22:21,862 --> 00:22:23,080
And why wouldn't they?
620
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,343
Adam, come on.
621
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,605
Adam: I shouldn't.
Gizzy: Adam?
622
00:22:25,605 --> 00:22:27,041
Yamy: You're not
gonna be able to fit.
623
00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:28,390
Adam: You know what?
I can't fit anyway.
624
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:29,565
Baxter: Lose 20 pounds
and run after me.
625
00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:30,566
Adam: Hey!
Gizzy: Get off our lawn!
626
00:22:30,566 --> 00:22:32,394
Adam: That was a close call.
627
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,048
I almost fell off the wagon.
Gizzy: Get out of here! Scat!
628
00:22:34,048 --> 00:22:35,266
Brandoon:
You're a shitty person!
629
00:22:35,266 --> 00:22:36,442
Just remember that!
Adam: Wow.
630
00:22:43,187 --> 00:22:45,886
Dean: DJ tricked me
into couples therapy
631
00:22:45,886 --> 00:22:47,191
with my janitor.
632
00:22:47,191 --> 00:22:48,454
I do not like tricks.
633
00:22:48,454 --> 00:22:49,977
I do not like my janitor.
634
00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:00,814
Dean:
Todd, what are you doing?!
635
00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:02,642
This is for other people,
this isn't for you!
636
00:23:06,515 --> 00:23:08,082
What have you --
what have you done?
637
00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:10,650
You've solved the unsellable
property conundrum?
638
00:23:10,650 --> 00:23:13,696
Todd: Yeah, you just didn't
factor in loan defaults.
639
00:23:13,696 --> 00:23:15,219
I'd just do it as a blind trust
640
00:23:15,219 --> 00:23:17,004
and you should be able
to sell that property.
641
00:23:17,004 --> 00:23:20,137
Dean: No, no, but
it's been impossible to sell
642
00:23:20,137 --> 00:23:23,402
an undesirable property
above asking price.
643
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,229
It's -- it's never been done!
644
00:23:25,229 --> 00:23:27,101
There's only one man
that could've done this.
645
00:23:27,101 --> 00:23:29,146
He vanished into
obscurity years ago.
646
00:23:29,146 --> 00:23:32,149
A man we called...
647
00:23:32,149 --> 00:23:33,673
The Closerer.
648
00:23:33,673 --> 00:23:36,153
Todd: Haven't heard
that name in a long time.
649
00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:39,287
Dean: A closer too powerful,
650
00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:42,638
he could close
above the highest closer.
651
00:23:42,638 --> 00:23:44,423
More than a closer...
652
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,208
a Closerer.
653
00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:48,818
Todd?
654
00:23:48,818 --> 00:23:50,994
Todd: Yeah, well,
that ain't me no more.
655
00:23:50,994 --> 00:23:53,519
Dean: Where did you go?
Whydid you go?
656
00:23:53,519 --> 00:23:55,346
Todd: It was a crazy time,
year of the aughts.
657
00:23:55,346 --> 00:23:58,219
Bush vs. Gore, 9/11,
658
00:23:58,219 --> 00:23:59,481
Nickelback.
659
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,396
Things were different back then.
660
00:24:01,396 --> 00:24:03,616
Todd: Why don't you become
a broker for Platinum?
661
00:24:03,616 --> 00:24:05,269
Todd: Game's changed, man.
662
00:24:05,269 --> 00:24:07,446
It's not the real-estate market
I used to work in.
663
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,927
Used to be all about the money,
then somewhere along the way,
664
00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:13,887
it became about the people.
That's when I got out.
665
00:24:13,887 --> 00:24:16,237
Dean: Todd, you're --
You're wasted as a janitor.
666
00:24:16,237 --> 00:24:17,847
You're also a terrible one.
667
00:24:17,847 --> 00:24:19,893
If you join me as a broker,
668
00:24:19,893 --> 00:24:24,245
together we could rule
and sell the world!
669
00:24:24,245 --> 00:24:26,160
Todd: You need to trust
what you have.
670
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,467
You need to let me
be a janitor.
671
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,426
And you -- you be a closerer.
672
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,082
Dean:
673
00:24:35,082 --> 00:24:40,087
I cannot help but respect a man
who knows himself.
674
00:24:40,087 --> 00:24:42,393
You be a janitor, Todd.
675
00:24:42,393 --> 00:24:44,613
But be a better janitor
than you are,
676
00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:47,181
because you're not good.
Todd: I'm not doing a great job.
677
00:24:47,181 --> 00:24:49,444
Dean: Do a better job.
Todd: Okay. Keep leaving
678
00:24:49,444 --> 00:24:50,880
some of these equations around
for me to solve?
679
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,752
Dean: Well, here's a problem
you can solve --
680
00:24:52,752 --> 00:24:57,060
The overflowing trash cans and
clogged toilets in this office.
681
00:24:57,060 --> 00:24:59,802
See if
your beautiful mind can...
682
00:24:59,802 --> 00:25:01,500
work your way around a plunger.
683
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,327
Dean: Well, then, um...
684
00:25:03,327 --> 00:25:06,548
get back to work.
685
00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:07,810
Todd:
How do you like them apples?
686
00:25:07,810 --> 00:25:09,116
Dean: What's that?
687
00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:10,683
Todd: I left some apples
on your desk.
688
00:25:10,683 --> 00:25:11,727
Dean: I like them.
Todd: Good.
53345
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