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1
00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,640
Baxter: Previously, on
"Bajillion Dollar Properties"...
2
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,342
Dean: In 8 weeks' time,
3
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:14,380
I'm going to take on
a partner here at Platinum.
4
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:17,349
Victoria: My whole life has been
building up to this moment.
5
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:22,321
Dean: Glenn, I need you to be
my eyes and ears among them.
6
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:23,622
Amir: Glenn's definitely
Dean's son, right?
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,357
Am I the only one who sees this?
8
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,360
Dean: Please say hello
to my new partner at Platinum,
9
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,528
Glenn Bouchard.
10
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:30,596
Amir: What?
-Victoria: What?
11
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:33,265
Aaaaaaah!
-[Shouting]
12
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,100
Glenn: Welcome to the age
of New Glenn.
13
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:37,102
? [Rattle] ?
14
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:40,472
??
15
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:44,643
It's been three months
since Dean made me partner.
16
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,078
Best three months of my life.
17
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,414
This is mine.
18
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,817
This car is sex on wheels,
and Glenn's putting it in drive.
19
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,585
Hi, yeah,
this is Glenn Bouchard.
20
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,422
I recently leased an automobile
from your dealership.
21
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:59,558
Yeah, so I need help
getting it in drive again.
22
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,460
All right.
23
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,795
Nope, didn't work.
24
00:01:02,797 --> 00:01:04,296
Can you have someone
from the dealership come
25
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,098
and meet me here?
26
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,633
[Whimsical tune plays]
I don't have an office, yet,
27
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,803
but I've pimped out my cubicle
to reflect my new status.
28
00:01:10,805 --> 00:01:13,105
I'm your partner now.
Yes, I'm your boss,
29
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,340
but we can still have
the same fun work relationship
30
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:16,842
that we always had, all right?
31
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,078
Baxter: Can you stay
away from us at all times?
32
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,113
Andrew: Just like
keep your distance,
33
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,148
and it's for your own safety,
'cause I --
34
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,751
Baxter: We're bullies,
deep down.
35
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,386
Chelsea: When Glenn
got the partnership,
36
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,755
I lost it and unplugged
from all social media.
37
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,356
For like a day.
38
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,391
Part of a day.
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00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,625
An hour.
40
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,294
If you click
"housekeeping things",
41
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,129
if you want to send over
the earnest money,
42
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,731
you could PayPal that over,
but I really prefer Venmo.
43
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,400
I think it's a little
more egalitarian,
44
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:42,701
a little more current.
45
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,636
Oh, and I'll be sure
to have my sellers
46
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,472
tweet you over
the code to the alarm.
47
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:47,573
Yay!
48
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,341
[ Arguing indistinctly ]
49
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,677
Amir: Yes, my plans for the
partnership were thwarted.
50
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,378
For now. But a great man
once said,
51
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:56,181
"Labeled flop,
but Pit don't stop."
52
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,749
It was Pitbull.
53
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,384
Man: You can pick your mom,
or you can pick your aunt.
54
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,320
You can't have both
with us, okay?
55
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,522
Woman: My mom and my aunt
are a thing, they're a thing.
56
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,557
Amir: Okay.
There's good news and bad news.
57
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,193
The bad news is you guys
are gonna get divorced.
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00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:09,695
The good new is I am going to
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00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:12,264
help you each find
separate homes.
60
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,133
There you go.
61
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,701
This one has
my direct line on it.
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00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:17,503
Man: Okay, all right,
that's enough, thank you.
63
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,705
Amir: [Smooch]
64
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,174
Andrew: Of course we were bummed
when we didn't get
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00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,675
the partnership.
-Baxter: But we're adults
66
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:27,379
and adults dust themself off
and move on with dignity.
67
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,618
Andrew: Ooogh!
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00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,786
That's why this backyard
is perfect.
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00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,388
Baxter: See,
you could even go longer.
70
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,923
We're gonna get in!
-Andrew: Ah! Oh!
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00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,159
We're gonna get in on the ground
floor on this property!
72
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,426
Andrew: Let's do it
six more times,
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00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:42,694
and then we'll go inside.
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00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,796
??
75
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:02,714
??
76
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,750
Baxter: Dean called a staff
meeting this morning.
77
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,419
Andrew: Apparently,
he has some exciting news.
78
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,688
Dean: Ladies and gentlemen,
may I invite all of you
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00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,223
to shut up?
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00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:14,226
I have, here in this
panther-skin binder,
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00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:18,797
the nominees for the 88th Annual
Greater Los Angeles Regional
82
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,532
Real Estate Awards.
-Andrew: Oh, boy.
83
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,900
Dean: And let me
tell you something:
84
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,336
Platinum has done quite well.
85
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,704
[ Cheering ]
86
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,973
Best Writing,
Adapted Listing Description,
87
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,741
our own Chelsea Leight-Leigh.
88
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,276
Chelsea: Who's that?
Who's that?
89
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,579
I integrated Yo Gotti's
"Down in the DM"
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00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:36,215
in my description of a property
in the Trousdale Estates.
91
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,916
[baritone]
"Snapchat me that listing."
92
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,352
Dean: Best Supporting Realtor,
Amir Yaghoob.
93
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,553
[Cheering]
Chelsea: Okay.
94
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,522
Amir: We all know
I'm a lead broker,
95
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:44,990
but the competition's
too fierce.
96
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,626
Why lose to the best
when you can beat out the worst?
97
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:50,562
Dean: Best Visual Effects
at an Open House, of course,
98
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,797
Baxter Reynolds
and Andrew Wright.
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00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,999
Baxter: Ye-e-e-s!
-Andrew: Ye-e-e-s!
100
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:57,302
The $50,000 laser show
was worth the multiple lawsuits.
101
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,737
Baxter: Half
the crowd got vertigo,
102
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,872
half the crowd
were temporarily blinded.
103
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,342
Andrew: One cat lost
its mind, went crazy.
104
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,510
Baxter: He was nuts.
-Andrew: He went crazy.
105
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,580
Dean: Most Improved,
Glenn Bouchard.
106
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,815
Glenn: Oh, yeah.
107
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,516
The ceiling is above me, Dean.
108
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:12,918
Dean: Always.
-Glenn: Yes.
109
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,886
Dean: And we're nominated
for many more awards,
110
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,521
[Suspenseful music plays]
but there's only one
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00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,890
that I really care about.
[Ominous chord strikes]
112
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:22,961
Platinum has been nominated
for Best Brokerage!
113
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,997
That's right!
-Chelsea: Yes!
114
00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:26,999
Andrew: Ow!
-Dean: That's right.
115
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:29,034
We are up against
our old foes, Infinity,
116
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,603
and I will not let them win.
117
00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:35,807
Serge: How about that?
How you like that?
118
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,542
How you like that?
119
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:40,612
Dean: Infinity will not stand
in the way of my dream
120
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,547
of achieving TODD:
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00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,617
Tony, Oscar, Diamond Dealmaker.
122
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,753
Chelsea: Diamond Dealmakers are
our industry's Oscar trophies
123
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:50,055
and Dean is obsessed
with getting a TODD.
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00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,658
A TODD is like an EGOT,
but not shitty.
125
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,393
Dean: Now, I already have
a Tony and an Oscar.
126
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:59,298
All I need is that double-D
to achieve TODD status.
127
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,632
-We're gonna bring it home.
Chelsea: Yeah.
128
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,900
Dean: Are you going
to help me get TODD?
129
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,769
Are we going to get TODD?
-Chelsea: Yes!
130
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,071
Dean: We want TODD!
-Andrew: We want TODD.
131
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,673
All: [chanting] TODD, TODD!
132
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,574
TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD!
133
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,943
Dean: That's right.
-All: TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD!
134
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,880
TODD, TODD,
TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD!
135
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,748
Todd: Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd!
136
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,884
Dean: What are you doing here?
We're having a meeting.
137
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,086
Todd: My name is Todd.
-Dean: Yes, I know.
138
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,554
Todd: You were chanting "Todd."
139
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,722
Dean: We weren't chanting
the name Todd,
140
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,691
we were chanting
the acronym TODD.
141
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,092
We were not calling for you.
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00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,027
[ Whimsical tune plays ]
143
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,462
Todd: Fuck you all.
144
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,331
Dean: What a rude laborer.
145
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:36,368
All: [whispering] TODD, TODD,
TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD.
146
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,869
Dean: I need all of you
to work very hard, indeed.
147
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,104
You have to work hard, Andrew.
-Andrew: Yeah.
148
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,806
Dean: You have to
work hard, Baxter.
149
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:43,608
You have to work hard,
Glenn, very hard. Yes, Amir,
150
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,876
you also have to work hard.
-Amir: You know it.
151
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,411
Dean: Chelsea,
you have to work hard.
152
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:47,579
Chelsea: On it.
-Dean: Victoria, you --
153
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,715
[ Suspenseful music climbs ]
154
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,683
Where's Victoria?
Where is Victoria?!
155
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,951
Why is she not
in Victoria's chair?
156
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,419
This is highly irregular!
157
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,854
Glenn: Dean,
I thought she was there,
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00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,988
and then I looked at the chair
-Chelsea: Yeah.
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00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,757
Glenn: and she's not there.
160
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,692
Dean: Glenn, this is exactly
the experience that I had!
161
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,427
Andrew: She's probably
somewhere else.
162
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,496
Amir: Maybe she's taking a dump
and has her period.
163
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,631
Dean: Amir!
I don't like your crude filth.
164
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,067
We've talked about this.
This is bad news.
165
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,969
Victoria is nominated
for more awards --
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00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,137
Andrew: Oh, shit!
-Dean: Ohhh.
167
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:13,739
Baxter: Oh, shit.
-Ohhh.
168
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:14,806
Dean: Todd.
-Todd.
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00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,908
All: Todd! Todd!
170
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:17,909
Todd!
-Woman: Todd!
171
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,512
Todd! Todd!
172
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,748
Todd! Todd!
173
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,616
Baxter: What do we do
when this happens?
174
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:25,917
Dean: I don't know!
175
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:29,654
[ Melancholy tune plays ]
176
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,723
[Suspenseful chord strikes]
Victoria: How have I been
177
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,024
since Glenn's promotion?
178
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,393
Over the moon!
179
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,495
Now, turn off the lights
and leave!
180
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,562
Leave!
[ Suspenseful music climbs ]
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00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,131
And give me that doughnut.
182
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,836
??
183
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,175
Glenn: Everything's been
going great,
184
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,144
but there's one little problem:
185
00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:53,879
I haven't sold a single house.
186
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,113
[Ominous chord strikes]
[Eerie music plays]
187
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,581
I haven't told Dean yet.
188
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,649
I can't tell
who's more threatening:
189
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,518
him or the Mercedes dealership.
190
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,620
This is the dining room,
-Woman: Yeah.
191
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,723
Glenn: that, obviously, has
a little bit of pizzazz to it.
192
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,057
Woman: Ocean views?
193
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,626
Glenn: Yes.
-Woman: Are you kidding me?
194
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:08,960
Glenn: It opens up
onto the patio there --
195
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,629
Woman: I could have
my coffee out there.
196
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,063
Glenn: Of course.
You have your coffee in here,
197
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,999
you could have
your coffee right here.
198
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,006
The furniture all comes
with the property.
199
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,541
Woman: The furniture conveys.
-Glenn: Mm-hmm.
200
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,576
Woman: Oh, my God.
Justin will love that.
201
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,077
I think.
-Glenn: I wish he were here.
202
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,447
Woman: I know. I'm assuming
you have multiple offers?
203
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:29,915
Glenn: Yes, I do.
-Woman: Okay.
204
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,483
Glenn: There are a lot of people
looking at this property
205
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,651
right now.
That's a lie.
206
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,519
I'm lying. I'm a liar.
207
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,888
Woman: Okay, here's the thing:
Justin is in Asia on business.
208
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,557
I just don't know what to do
because he hasn't seen it.
209
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:39,958
Glenn: Well,
there is a video tour
210
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,993
that's one of the links
on the property listing.
211
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,562
Woman: I was hoping --
212
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:46,097
and I know this is
a little avant-garde --
213
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:50,101
I was thinking maybe we could do
a little role playing,
214
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,970
and you could actually
play Justin,
215
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,206
so I could just get a sense
of how the two of us
216
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:56,908
kind of "vibe" in this house.
217
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,176
Glenn: Yeah, of course, okay.
-Woman: Is that weird?
218
00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,845
Glenn: No, no, it's fine.
-Woman: Sorry.
219
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,646
Glenn: I'll be Justin, sure.
-Woman: Okay, well,
220
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,782
why don't you just
try Justin on for size.
221
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,650
Let's say goodbye to Glenn.
222
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:08,987
Glenn: All right.
-Woman: Great.
223
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,556
Glenn: Hey, babe, I love
this place, so far, yeah.
224
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:12,991
Woman: Yeah?
You like it, babe?
225
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,826
Glenn: Yeah, I think this table
-Woman: I mean --
226
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,561
Glenn: is pretty cute
227
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:20,232
and you seem
like you're diggin' it.
228
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,501
Woman: I've prepared dinner.
Should we eat?
229
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,871
Glenn: Yeah. I'm starving.
Yeah. I love it.
230
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,672
This stuff smells great, babe.
231
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,040
I love the way you cook
and --
232
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,275
Woman: No, wait,
I gotta stop you there.
233
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,110
He...
234
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,612
Glenn: Okay.
-Woman: Doesn't love my cooking.
235
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,779
Glenn: Oh,
I'll take it back then.
236
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,948
Babe, this stuff
smells like trash,
237
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,617
but it looks gorgeous
on this table,
238
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,018
which comes with the property.
239
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,987
Woman: What are you
talking about, Justin?
240
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,522
Glenn: Uh --
-Woman: Sorry,
241
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,756
I think you're getting
a little confused.
242
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,091
Glenn: Sorry.
I'm gonna make a choice,
243
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,059
and then, hopefully,
you just tweak it, okay?
244
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,961
Woman: Okay.
-Glenn: All right.
245
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,596
[ Woman sighs ]
246
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:52,964
Glenn: When I come home,
I just don't want to hear
247
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,100
this kind of shit from you.
[laughs]
248
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:58,169
Woman: Yeah, well.
Dr. Franklin called.
249
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,071
Glenn: What did he say,
you're drinking too much wine?
250
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,174
Woman: Dr. Franklin said your
sperm count was incredibly low.
251
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,610
And I didn't want to tell you.
I said, "That'll humiliate him."
252
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,878
Glenn: Maybe it'd be
a little bit higher
253
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,980
if I were more turned on
in the bedroom.
254
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,749
Woman: [crying] Wow.
-Glenn: You're tryin' to ask me
255
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,018
to make a baby and you're
bringin' Target panties to bed?
256
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,253
Woman: You know what?
Do the dishes, okay?
257
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,856
And I'll just be upstairs
watching TV, again.
258
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,024
Glenn: Fine.
-Woman: Honestly,
259
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,759
I've fucking had it with you.
260
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,093
I'm outta here.
-Glenn: Well, I'm gonna
261
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,762
follow you,
'cause I love this property
262
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,030
and I wanna know more about it.
-Woman: What?!
263
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:26,598
Glenn: Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
264
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,999
Woman: Yeah, that wasn't --
Let me storm off.
265
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,200
Glenn: Okay, yeah, okay.
-Woman: I'm outta here!
266
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,902
Glenn: Fine!
-Woman: Don't follow me.
267
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,304
Glenn: Well,
if you go to the bedroom,
268
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,239
that's where I want to sleep.
-Woman: Okay.
269
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,175
Glenn: And if I get horny,
I'm gonna take what's mine.
270
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,810
Woman: Justin.
-Glenn: Yeah.
271
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:39,978
[Suspenseful music plays]
Woman: Let's continue.
272
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,313
Glenn: Okay.
273
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:42,881
Woman: Excuse me.
[Suspenseful music climbs]
274
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,586
??
275
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:51,923
Amir: A listing of mine has sat
on the market for months,
276
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,959
and I'm desperate
to figure out what's wrong.
277
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,860
So I called in the Bloodhound.
278
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,997
This guy literally sniffs out
the hidden problems in a house.
279
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:02,901
I mean, I gotta say it's truly
an honor to have you.
280
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,936
It's not that you even
answered my phone call.
281
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,838
I've heard about your work,
Bloodhound, and --
282
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,341
[Sitar plays]
Do you think that I can
283
00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:11,042
sell this h--
-Bloodhound: Shh.
284
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,614
Okay.
285
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,716
Amir: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, if there's a smell
286
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,618
that you think can help
sell this house,
287
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,086
whatever you think --
-Bloodhound: This house
288
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,655
will be sold. The problem
you're having right now is
289
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,291
that I'm smelling a lot
of other past smells.
290
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,394
Ghost smells, we call them.
-Amir: Really?
291
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,697
Bloodhound: Give me a second.
292
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,699
Yeah, there was a murder.
293
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,101
Maybe two.
294
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,669
Right here.
295
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,005
[sniff]
I'm picking up a lot of blood.
296
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:43,074
It's stabbing blood,
not period blood.
297
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,710
[sniff] Yeah.
298
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:47,045
That's elephant blood.
299
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,413
Amir: It's actually
not that weird.
300
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,081
Some rich people
who don't have time
301
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,151
to go on an actual safari
will fly in exotic animals
302
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,220
and hunt them from the comfort
of their own home.
303
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:59,157
Bloodhound: I think
the fix-it is caramel.
304
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:04,162
Or maybe a hot chocolate.
I don't know yet.
305
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,430
Hot chocolate's not gonna work.
306
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,100
Amir: Amazing.
307
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:12,103
??
308
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:15,740
Andrew: So Dean is convinced
309
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,976
that we can't win Best Brokerage
without Victoria
310
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:20,111
and he said one of us needs
to go check on her.
311
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:23,314
He thought I volunteered,
but I was swatting a ladybug.
312
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,382
Victoria?
313
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,785
[ Suspenseful music climbs ]
314
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,086
Victoria!
315
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,988
Jesus Christ.
316
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,256
Wow-ow.
317
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,757
Victoria: What do you want,
Andrew?
318
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:34,426
Andrew: What happened?
-Victoria: Ugh.
319
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:35,460
If you wanna have sex,
-Andrew: Wh...?
320
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,162
Victoria: I'm not interested.
321
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,297
Andrew: Okay, well,
that was one of my questions.
322
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:43,201
But we can go down that road
a little later, if it comes up.
323
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,837
And, right now,
it's not coming up.
324
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,272
We noticed you weren't
in the office
325
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,040
and we got a little worried.
326
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,775
Victoria: Oh, you noticed?
You noticed I've been gone?
327
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:53,311
Andrew: Yeah. I got picked
to come and check on you.
328
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,013
Victoria: Well, you checked.
329
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,448
I'm doing fantastic, you know.
[Eerie music plays]
330
00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,083
Andrew: You don't look
fantastic.
331
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,451
Victoria: I feel fantastic.
332
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,352
Andrew: It smells.
[Ominous chord strikes]
333
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,221
It smells horrid.
334
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,290
Victoria: Well, I didn't know
guests were coming over, okay?
335
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:08,126
Andrew: This is not --
you would need a lot of warning,
336
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,394
if guests were coming over.
337
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,029
Victoria: What do you want,
Andrew?
338
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,031
Andrew: We're just worried
about you, Victoria.
339
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,766
I mean, as weird
as that may sound,
340
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:18,403
because, normally, we don't care
about you, but we were --
341
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,306
We were like "Something's
missing from the office."
342
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,974
Victoria: Like the person
who should've been partner?
343
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,110
Was that --
was that person missing?
344
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:28,313
Glenn's just walking around,
"Oh, I'm the new partner.
345
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,381
I didn't work hard for this.
I don't deserve this.
346
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,383
Victoria does,
but now I'm the new partner."
347
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,885
Andrew: He doesn't walk
around saying that.
348
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,487
Victoria:
There's no reason for me
349
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:38,990
to come back to the office
and continue to work like that
350
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,025
when Dean obviously
doesn't notice.
351
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,260
So, this is fine.
352
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,962
I've got the MLS.
353
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,164
I'm doin' the little work
that I need to do
354
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,133
and this is my new life
now, you know?
355
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,502
This is my new --
this is my new life.
356
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,904
Andrew: Whoa. [cough]
357
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,405
Victoria: I'm gonna do
the bare minimum
358
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,142
that I need to do to get by,
and that's it.
359
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,144
Andrew: Bare minimum?
-Victoria: Yeah.
360
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,479
Andrew: Shit, yeah.
-Victoria: What?
361
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,248
Andrew: That's how I make it.
I don't get stressed
362
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,550
about anything 'cause I do
the bare minimum.
363
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,052
Not 'cause I want to,
not 'cause I could do more.
364
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:09,854
I'm a idiot.
365
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,956
Victoria,
you don't have to be sad.
366
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,825
We're both doing
the bare minimum.
367
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,460
You're like Andrew.
Victoria and Andrew.
368
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,162
Now we have somebody.
369
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,830
Victoria: I'm Andrew?
[Suspenseful chord strikes]
370
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,465
Andrew: This is like looking
in a mirror right now --
371
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,800
except for this.
[Sinister violin music plays]
372
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,401
That should cheer you up, right?
373
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,403
Victoria: Stop talking.
-Andrew: We're the same person.
374
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,038
We're like one person.
375
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,473
We're the same person.
376
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,108
[Sinister violin music
intensifies]
377
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:36,047
??
378
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,584
Amir: The Bloodhound
is a mysterious man
379
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,820
with mysterious ways.
380
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,088
Also, he never
stops smelling shit.
381
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:47,325
[Sitar plays]
[Sniffing]
382
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,993
Bloodhound: Yeah,
that's lead paint.
383
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,195
Amir: Is it paint?
-Bloodhound: Yeah, lead paint.
384
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,930
Amir: Lead paint?!
385
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,232
None of the inspection reports
said anything about lead.
386
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,600
Bloodhound: You need to burn
this house to the ground.
387
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,235
Amir: What?
-Bloodhound: You're not gonna
388
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,003
sell it. If the state
finds out you're trying
389
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,471
to sell a house like this,
with all this lead paint --
390
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,040
Amir: This is
a Frank Lloyd Wright house.
391
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,274
I don't think --
-Bloodhound: This is
392
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,343
a Frank Lloyd Wrong house,
my boy.
393
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,879
This is a Frank Lloyd Wrong
house.
394
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,014
Amir: Okay, Frank Lloyd Wright
did not design the house.
395
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,951
But he did sleep here
for two nights in 1957.
396
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,919
Either way,
I am not burning it down.
397
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:17,088
This is costing me $10,000,
398
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,957
for you to tell me to burn
the house down?
399
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,291
Bloodhound: What if a little
2-year-old comes in here
400
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,093
and starts eating the wall?
Guess what.
401
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,628
They're gonna be in prison
in six years
402
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,097
because of the violence
that gets into their brain.
403
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,166
Amir: I'm no Bloodhound, but
something doesn't smell right.
404
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,601
Can I ask you a question?
-Bloodhound: Yeah.
405
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,569
Amir: And I don't mean
to be offensive here,
406
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,239
but what authority do you have
on smells, like?
407
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:37,942
Bloodhound: I wrote my thesis on
16th-century Russian flatulence
408
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,911
called "Glad I'm Here
Pootin'." [Putin]
409
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,913
Amir: Russian farts?
-Bloodhound: I got my Master's
410
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,181
degree from Ucla. [uhk-luh]
411
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,649
Amir: Does he mean UCLA?
412
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,184
Bloodhound: Do you know
nothing about smelling?
413
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,886
Amir: I don't know a lot
about smelling,
414
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,454
that's why I hired you.
-Bloodhound: Look, when --
415
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:52,056
when I was a kid and I would
enter the smelling bees --
416
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,591
Amir: Smelling bees?
That's a thing?
417
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,193
Bloodhound:
Where are you from, son?
418
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,428
Amir: I grew up in L.A.
-Bloodhound: [Scoff]
419
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,963
Yeah, in real America,
420
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,465
there's something called
smelling bees, you know,
421
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,567
in elementary school;
you get up and you smell things.
422
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,569
You smell chalk;
you smell the lunch lady.
423
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,170
It's a smelling bee.
424
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,273
Amir: I smell bullshit.
That's an amazing story.
425
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,908
Bloodhound:
It's an amazing world.
426
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,542
Anything's possible.
427
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,045
You can fuckin' scam anybody.
[Sinister music plays]
428
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,547
Amir: What? Did you just say
you could scam anybody?
429
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:19,250
Bloodhound: The lights not work?
430
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,686
Amir: Get the f-- Get over here!
-Bloodhound: Just step away
431
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,421
from me. Step away from me.
-Amir: Give me my money back.
432
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,490
Bloodhound: This is a sample
of what you're gonna get.
433
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,225
Amir: Give me my money back!
-Bloodhound: This is a sample
434
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,927
of what you're gonna get!
-Amir: Give me my money back!
435
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,095
Bloodhound: This is it!
-Amir: Give me my money back!
436
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:34,299
Oh, shit. Fuck.
Hello? Bloodhound.
437
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,672
I have your hat!
I have your fucking hat!
438
00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:42,073
Damn it!
439
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:47,378
??
440
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,015
Glenn: Role playing
as my client's husband
441
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,550
has definitely been
strange, but,
442
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:55,119
I haven't been doing this
for long and, for all I know,
443
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,955
this is a normal part
of real estate.
444
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,523
There are a lot
of layers to this house.
445
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,591
It's almost like an onion that's
not going to make you cry.
446
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,560
Woman: [laughs] I love it.
447
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,495
But, um,
448
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,998
let's just pause
because I just don't know
449
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,466
how Justin's gonna feel
about it.
450
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,234
Glenn: Oh, well,
if you want, we can see
451
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,437
how Justin feels about it.
-Woman: Well, I was actually
452
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:16,074
thinking maybe, you know,
you and Justin could talk.
453
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,408
Glenn: Oh.
All right, all right.
454
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,978
Justin, do
you have any questions,
455
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:23,748
so far, about the property,
or...?
456
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,084
Questions,
per se, I don't know.
457
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,685
I really like it, so far.
458
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,554
Woman: Maybe about the,
-Glenn: Hm?
459
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,189
you know, the finances
of it all, you know?
460
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:34,092
Glenn: Sure, sure.
I'd love to know how much --
461
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,360
how big the escrow
account has to be
462
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,061
before we move on this.
463
00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,696
Oh, yeah, that's a --
that's a great question. So,
464
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,565
the escrow account would be --
-Woman: Glenn, you wanna ask him
465
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,734
just a little bit
about his credit because
466
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,702
[whispering] that may be
an issue down the line.
467
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,605
Glenn: Okay, well --
-Woman: Ask gently. [laughs]
468
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,507
Glenn: Okay, well,
credit-wise, obviously,
469
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,176
we have a lot of clients come
to us in different places.
470
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,145
So we understand
where you're at.
471
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:56,381
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, right now --
472
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,683
Woman: Justin would be
pret-ty upset by that.
473
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,752
I mean, he's a redblooded man.
[laughs]
474
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:02,487
Glenn: Okay. Good to know.
Good to know.
475
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,155
Uh, what are you tryin'
to say, man?
476
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,024
I can't believe you would ask me
something like that
477
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,658
in front of my loving wife.
-Woman: Yeah, that's not right.
478
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,427
Glenn: Well, I didn't mean
anything by it. I just --
479
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:12,196
Woman: Let him talk to you
like that, Glenn?
480
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,132
Glenn: Um, hey, okay,
don't talk to me like that.
481
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,800
Woman: You want a sale,
but you're not a complete pussy.
482
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,435
Glenn: Yeah,
I'm not a complete pussy.
483
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,570
I think you are
a complete pussy.
484
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,072
And you know
what I do to pussies.
485
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,306
Tell him what I do
to pussies, honey.
486
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,075
[ Woman laughs ]
487
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,044
Glenn: [chuckle] Tell him.
-Woman: Well, he fucks them.
488
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,412
[Sinister music plays]
Glenn: Oh, my God. I don't --
489
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,247
I'm not trying
to start anything right now.
490
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,315
Well, too late, you already
started something, all right?
491
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:32,617
Woman: Ooh!
-Glenn: Whoa.
492
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:33,818
Woman: Whoa! [laughs]
Glenn, careful.
493
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,520
Oh, my God.
You guys, stop fighting.
494
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,221
Glenn: Hey, whoa.
You don't need to take it there.
495
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,323
Woman: Stop fighting.
-Glenn: Stop fighting? Ahh!
496
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:40,658
Woman: Oh, my God.
Glenn: You like that?
497
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,493
I'm so sorry, Glenn.
-Glenn: No, you love it.
498
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,362
You love it. You stay right
there and you watch this, huh.
499
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,064
Uh! Uh!
-Woman: Oh, my God! Glenn!
500
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,598
Glenn: Ah, my crotch.
-Woman: Are you okay, Glenn?
501
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,300
Glenn: No, he kneed my crotch.
-Woman: I'm -- I'm sorry.
502
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,069
Glenn: He punched my stomach.
-Woman: Help him up!
503
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,537
Glenn: Anh! Anh!
-Woman: [gasp] Oh, my God!
504
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,272
Glenn: I slapped him
like a pimp slaps a bitch.
505
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,640
Woman: Oh, my God! Glenn.
I'm calling -- You know what?
506
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,241
Glenn: Yeah.
-Woman: Why do you always
507
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,543
do this?!
-Glenn: Ah! Ahh! Ah.
508
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,178
Woman: I'm sorry.
I'm embarrassed.
509
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,479
Glenn: You gotta protect me.
-Woman: I'm sorry.
510
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,814
He's a monster sometimes.
-Glenn: Ohhhhh!
511
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:04,215
Woman: Stop it!
512
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,184
No, just leave him alone!
513
00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:07,652
All right.
514
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,454
All right, tell him we'll be
out in five minutes.
515
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,122
Glenn: No, I have to stay
with you
516
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,723
while the tour is happening.
-Woman: Just give us
517
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,258
Glenn: I don't care.
-Woman: 5 minutes!
518
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,827
Glenn: I don't care
that he's here.
519
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:17,595
Woman: No, honey, we shouldn't.
-Glenn: No, it's fine.
520
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,830
Keep going.
-Woman: Yeah?
521
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,665
Glenn: Whatever it takes
to make the sale.
522
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,400
Woman: Are you gonna be okay?
-Glenn: He's gonna be fine.
523
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:23,768
Don't even worry about it.
-Woman: I don't feel right
524
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,603
about this.
-Glenn: Do you not want this?
525
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,439
Woman: I do, it's just, with
all our fertility problems --
526
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,841
Glenn: Oh, my God,
you're gonna bring this up now?
527
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:31,709
Woman: I'm sorry! It's just --
-Glenn: You know,
528
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,377
a lot of guys go through
fertility problems.
529
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,179
Woman: Glenn, could you
give us a little space?
530
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,215
Glenn: I'm sorry, yeah.
[Melancholy tune plays]
531
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,583
What, you're not
in the mood anymore?
532
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,184
Woman: No, it's not
that I'm not in the mood,
533
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:42,587
it's just like
we haven't had sex in months.
534
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,155
Glenn: Hey.
535
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,491
Tell me what you want,
and I'll deliver.
536
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,793
Woman: I want this house.
537
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,328
Glenn: I want it, too.
538
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,598
Uh...
539
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,367
Woman: Glenn, I think
we're ready to write an offer.
540
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,302
Glenn: If you two want a moment.
-Woman: I mean, if Justin --
541
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,403
Yeah.
-Glenn: I'll be right back.
542
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:02,874
Woman: Okay.
543
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,475
Let's do it, babe.
544
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,477
Glenn: Let's get this house.
-[Woman laughs]
545
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,312
Glenn: Okay?
-Woman: Is Glenn okay?
546
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,281
He's a little weird, right?
-Glenn: Yeah. We don't have to
547
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,649
worry about him.
-Woman: [whispering] He's gay.
548
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,218
Glenn: Is he gay?
I don't think that he's gay.
549
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,654
He seems about
as masculine as I am.
550
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,189
I sold my first house!
551
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,824
I can keep my Mercedes!
552
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:23,294
??
553
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,800
[ Sinister music plays ]
554
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,936
Andrew: We're the same person.
555
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,871
We are peas in a pod.
556
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,773
I got my little Doppelganger --
557
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,943
or my Doppel-banger.-Victoria: [distorted] No.
558
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,344
No.
559
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:45,416
[ Suspenseful music climbs ]
560
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,552
I'm not an Andrew.
I'm a Victoria
561
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,353
and it's time for me
to get back to Platinum
562
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:53,357
and win every damn Diamond
Dealmaker I was nominated for!
563
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,493
The bitch is back.
[Ominous chord strikes]
564
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:01,632
??
565
00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:06,237
Dean: 2, 3.
566
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,306
Well, well, well.
567
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,241
Victoria: The prodigal wife
returns. [laughs]
568
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,709
Dean: I don't believe
that's the expression.
569
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,411
Victoria: I'm back.
Dean: It's the Prodigal Son,
570
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,213
is the expression.
-Victoria: You can interchange.
571
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,581
Dean: How did wife get in there?
-Victoria: Me to you.
572
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:17,949
Dean: We are not married.
-Victoria: Not yet.
573
00:20:17,951 --> 00:20:19,717
Dean: That is
how we shall remain.
574
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,519
Victoria: Can I sit here, Dean?
-Dean: Sit on a chair.
575
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,722
Victoria: Great. Dean,
before I get back to work --
576
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,592
which,
I'm excited to be here --
577
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,627
I need to clear
some things up between us.
578
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,295
Dean: Are you certain
you need to do this?
579
00:20:31,297 --> 00:20:32,930
Victoria: Just get it settled.
-Dean: You may say
580
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,999
what you need to say.
-Victoria: I will.
581
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:38,936
Dean, why did you choose Glenn
as your partner over me?
582
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,504
Dean: So it's more
of a quest--
583
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,273
Victoria: Because I've been
wracking my brain
584
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:47,245
and I realized the reason
you can't have me as partner is
585
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,714
because the sexual tension
we feel between each other
586
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:52,817
is too much. It's too much
for you to concentrate;
587
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:55,253
it's too much for you to be
able to work beside me.
588
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:56,554
Dean: Well, that's 0% true.
589
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,389
Let me tell you why.
590
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,658
Victoria: Dean, if it's not
that, then I think I know why.
591
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:01,993
Dean: I can tell you why.
592
00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,894
Victoria: Which is:
Glenn's transgender;
593
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,997
you hired him for diversity
in the office.
594
00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:07,598
Dean: No, he's not transgender.
-Victoria: Okay.
595
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,933
Dean: He's --
-Victoria: You know for sure?
596
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,502
Dean: Yes, I do.
Your theories are baseless
597
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:14,639
Victoria: All right.
-Dean: and...somewhat demented.
598
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:16,774
I'm now going to tell you
-Victoria: Sure.
599
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:17,942
Dean: the actual reason.
-Victoria: What --
600
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,644
Dean: I need you
to not be talking.
601
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,012
Victoria: I just want to know --
-Dean: You mustn't --
602
00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:22,513
Victoria: You're just gonna --
-Dean: Victoria.
603
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,782
You mustn't speak
when I say this.
604
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:25,883
Victoria: Is it happening
right now?
605
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,285
Dean: It's about to happen
606
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:30,655
in 3, 2...
[Suspenseful music plays]
607
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,023
Glenn is my son.
608
00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:34,725
[ Ominous music climbs ]
609
00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:38,629
I'm his father.
Blood relative.
610
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,997
There is no mistaking it.
611
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:42,500
Victoria: You had relations
with his mother?
612
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:43,934
Dean: Yes;
that's how sons are made.
613
00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:47,705
[ Suspenseful chords strike ]
614
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:49,407
Victoria: Nepotism?
615
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:51,742
[Whimsical tune plays]
Dean, why didn't you say so?
616
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:53,644
Dean: Well.
-Victoria: Are you kidding me?
617
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:56,847
If there's one thing
I understand, it's that.
618
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:59,950
Dean: Well, I trust that this
will remain between us,
619
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:01,552
this little secret.
620
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:04,088
Victoria: Dean,
I think we can keep a secret
621
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:06,324
between us, don't you?
-Dean: I hope so.
622
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,526
Victoria: Well,
my lips are sealed.
623
00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:09,960
[Sultry music plays]
Dean: Good, good to hear.
624
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,662
Victoria: Unless you need them
to be unsealed.
625
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,698
Dean: I do not need that, no.
-Victoria: You sure?
626
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:15,499
Dean: Positive.
-Victoria: Your mouth
627
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,535
is saying no, but your eyes
are saying "Please! Please!"
628
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:19,103
Dean: Please do
as my mouth says.
629
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:21,806
Victoria: I'm not gonna tell
anyone about
630
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:24,675
our arrangement.
-Dean: Which is?
631
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,678
Victoria: You and I,
632
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,580
arranged,
633
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:31,449
together.
[Sultry music continues]
634
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:33,351
Maybe if you had an open hand,
it'd would be easier to show.
635
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:34,752
Dean: What are you trying to do?
636
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:36,120
I'm going to put this away.
637
00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:38,889
??
638
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,685
[Sultry music plays]
Chelsea: She's either trying
639
00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:09,553
to seduce him or she's the worst
640
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:12,022
oldtimey pickpocket artist
I've ever seen.
641
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,858
Andrew: Are they having
a staring contest?
642
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:15,025
Chelsea: No.
They're clearly speaking;
643
00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:16,694
their mouths are moving.
644
00:23:16,696 --> 00:23:18,763
Andrew: Yeah, you can talk
during a staring contest.
645
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:20,164
There's --
Amir: No, you can't.
646
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,133
Chelsea: Yeah.
Oh -- gah. Oh. Bye! Bye!
647
00:23:22,135 --> 00:23:23,634
Andrew: Go. Go, go.
648
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:25,102
[ Scampering ]
649
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,604
[ Engine hums, clatter ]
650
00:23:26,654 --> 00:23:31,204
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