All language subtitles for Alias Smith And Jones s02e22 Whats in it for Mia.eng

You fellas better save on enough for a bath and a shave.

There's a three-hour layover at the barbershop and no place to sit down.

Yes sir, we've been on a little prospecting trip.

Now we might see if our luck holds out.

It's a house dealt game?

They all are.

I take 8% from the pot and settle all the arguments.

That sounds all right.

Let's see.
I'll take 150 dollars� worth.

Make my 100.

Thank you.

That wouldn't be the proprietor, would it?

Yes sir, that's Mia Bronson, she owns the place.

Miss Mia Bronson.

Well thanks, there's something I want to show her.

What are you doing?
Put those cards down.

That's what I want to show her.
You can't do that!

Oh yes, he can.

Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry

The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West

and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.

This made our two
Kansas cousins very popular

with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.

One thing
we gotta get, Heyes.

What's that?
Out of this business.

The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now

first you gotta prove you deserve it.

Lom, are you saying that all
we've got to do is stay out of trouble

until the governor figures
that we deserve amnesty?

And in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?

Well, that's true

until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.

It'll be our secret.

That's a good deal?

I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.

Miss Bronson,

there's something important I'd like to talk to you about,

in private.

Something important?

What?

It's about this deck of cards.

Please.

And I could have sworn, I heard my friends say in private.

But I never care to be in a room alone with strangers.

Especially when they look like you two.

Now, what about that deck of cards?

We'd like to sell them to you Miss Bronson for $250, and believe me

we won't be making a nickel on the deal.

I bought cards at 25 cents a pack.

Oh, not like these.

These are different.

Unique.

Marked.

Really?

How are they marked?

Well, when I'm playing in a game with one or two players

and they're betting like

they know what the next card is gonna be and they're winning,

I know seconds are being dealt.

And it takes marked cards to deal seconds.

Well, gentlemen,

show the marks.

Put up or shut up.

We did put up.

I put up a 100, he put 150.

Oh, well now, if you can't afford to lose,

you shouldn't gamble.

When you're playing in a crooked game in a crooked house with a crooked dealer,

you're not gambling,
you're just being robbed.

Now, you wouldn't want us to go out there on the street and

tell folks how a charming lady like you was in here cheating 'em, would you?

You're not going out on the street in my town

and say anything.

I hate to disagree with you Miss Bronson,

but I do.

Now, $250 and we will all be even, we'll be on our way.

Oh, I know this is an old, old trick,

but please put down your gun.

There's a man behind you.

By golly, there is.

Now,

take these tramps out of town and dump them.

But first persuade them,

that it would be very foolish for them ever to be seen in King City again.

Charlotte,

it's all right daddy, I was just going for some coffee.

They still unconscious?

They're stirry.

Want me to take over?

No, no, you've given up your bed.

You try to sleep.

Put up...or persuade them that it would be...

...take these tramps out of town and...

...very foolish of them ever to be seen in my town...

...put up or shut up...

...take 'em out of town...dump...

It's alright, it's alright.

What is it?

Where's my friend?

Shh, you just lay quiet.

You're safe.
Your friend's right beside you.

Hey, Ki...

Thaddeus.

Thaddeus!

Do you want some coffee?

No, just a little water.

Ah, I thought I heard a voice.

How are you?

Oh, I don't know.

I sure hope better than I feel.

Hey, Thaddeus.

Thaddeus, you alive?

Well, I'm glad to see you both survived.

I'm George Austin there's my daughter Charlotte.

You're safe in our home.

How'd we get here?

We found you coming home from a social.

The doctor, friend of ours, left some pain powders if you need 'em.

But you really need to sleep.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you.

I think I just get some...

Heyes,

Heyes, Heyes,

Hello, Kid.

C'mon, get up.

Do you know what's going on here?
Where are we?

I think the people's name is Austin.

Hey, there's a town out there.

Suppose we're back in King City?

Maybe we better ask.

Good afternoon.

I'm Charlotte Austin.
Please, sit down.

Daddy?

this is my father.

Gentlemen.

How do you do, Mr. Austin.

Sit down.

Well, patience is rewarded.

I don't suppose you feel well but better?

It depends.

Are we by any chance in King City?

Yes.

Don't you want to be?

The last thing I remember about King City,

is two or three gentlemen telling us don't come back.

And leaving you in a ditch.

That came later.

The message was delivered in a place called the Diamond Horseshoe.

Mia Bronson.

She runs a crooked house.

A crooked town.

Not the whole town, dear.

Well, the town let it happen.

Mia Bronson stole a fortune from us and put my father out of business.

Let's not burden our guests with our troubles.

We sure don't want to add to your troubles,

do we, Thaddeus?

We really ought to be moving on.

How?
You don't have any horses.

No horses?

Do we have any guns?

No guns.

Well, you couldn't find a safer place to stay than this,

at least till nightfall.

I am no longer a threat to Mia Bronson and

nor she to me.

When she asked people to stop advertising in the Clarion,

some of them did.

Why'd she want to put you out of business?

Classic reasons.

I didn't like the way she did things as I said so.

In print.

Why didn't your father just sell the paper?

He did.

He had over $30,000 invested and

he sold it for only 10.

Forgive me for staring but since you've shaved and all you look so nice.

You looked nice to me before I shaved.

Charlotte, do you need any help out there?

No thank you, we're doing fine.

Anyhow,

it turns out that the buyer...

ah, here we are - oven fresh ginger cake.

The buyer it turns out, bought the Clarion for Mia Bronson.

The advertisers came back,

the paper is doing a land office business, making money hand over fist.

You know it's funny, you should mention making money Mr. Austin.

Oh yeah,

put that in front of a mirror and what have you gotten?

A ten-dollar bill.

Isn't it beautiful?

If your dad is a counterfeiter,

he sure is a good one.

Where'd this come from?

Eat your cake and I'll show you.

I've been a printer since I was a boy and

I've never seen a printing press that wasn't cumbersome.

I've thought for years

that there ought to be some kind of a chemical printing process.

So, when Mia Bronson,

made it impossible for me to pursue my profession

I began to pursue my dream.

I haven't got the answer yet, but

I'm onto the basic principle.

We just let that dry for a minute.

What do you do to make a living while this is going on?

Well, I don't.
My money's running out fast.

we're saving that old press over there in the corner for

train fare back east.

I'll take my findings and try to interest some firm into finishing the job.

Do you always use real money in your tests?

No, but money works very well because of the high quality of the ink.

Incidentally, there is no way of turning this into a counterfeiting process

even if I wanted to.

You see everything comes out in a reverse.

And pulpy paper is the only kind that'll take any image at all.

But since I'm interested in a printing process not counterfeiting,

I'm very happy with what I have so far.

Now, that's really something.

I'm afraid this is boring Mr. Smith.

He's awfully quiet.

Oh, I'm always quiet Miss Austin

when I'm about to come up with something brilliant.

Mr. Austin, how would you like a

first-rate way to really get back at Mia Bronson?

Getting back at her?

And get out of her town and go back east with a pocketful of money.

I hope you're not suggesting anything illegal or violent.

We try to avoid violence at all times, Mr. Austin.

Not to mention anything illegal.

Shady maybe, but not illegal.

I'm working on a way of persuading Mia Bronson to give us a large sum of money

just out of the badness of her heart.

Now you know from your own experience that Mia Bronson is a very dangerous woman.

She doesn't always stop at having people beaten sometimes he simply has 'em killed.

Now, you can take my word for that as an old news hound.

Yeah, this would be dangerous.

Before she found out we'd taken her, we'd have to be long gone.

Tell us the plan.

we take advantage of the fact that Mia Bronson is

devious

and dishonest.

By making her think that you're devious and dishonest.

I'll drink to that.

Howdy gentlemen, table stakes, I deal for the house and take 8%.

How deep do you want to go?

Say...

$50

$50

Forgive me, Miss Mia Bronson like to see you gentlemen in her office.

You two gentlemen bought into that stud game out there

with some very strange money.

We did?
Yes.

For one thing it has an odor

a rather peculiar odor.
Why?

It does?
Yes.

It does.

Well, now

it does smell kind of funny.

But who says this is the money that we bought in with?

I do.
$10 bills,

brand-new, mint fresh.

Oh no, I'd hate to think two handsome gentlemen like you,

would be passing counterfeit money.

But does it look like counterfeit?

Oh no,
it most certainly does not.

Well, I guess, that settles it.

Don't rush off.

No, ma'am,
please...

And don't be alarmed.

I just want you to hear the rest of it.

You see, I studied these bills

and in spite of the smell, I'd swear they were real

except for one little thing.

Two of them have the same serial number.

You, dumb head, I told you.
Shut up.

You couldn't wait another day and let 'em air out.

What's that got to do with serial numbers?

You can't smell serial numbers.

Gentlemen, please tell me what are you talking about?

I'm fascinated.

Ma'am,

please don't shoot.

I want to get my wallet.

I'll buy back that money with a bonus.

I have good money in here.

What do you mean - good money?

He means other money, ma'am.

No,
he means this is counterfeit.

No, he doesn't, no.

No, our money's good, anywhere in the world.

You can take that money, you can spend it, put in the bank...

Only please, just

sell us back the bill with a duplicate serial number.

We'll give you 50 for it!

Just let 'im take out his wallet.

Put down the gun?

The gun.

Oh forgive me, I forgot I was holding this thing.

Now, gentlemen,

before we go any further,

I'd like to serve you

some Napoleon brandy.

Shoulda be dry enough.

You brought a $10 bill?

Oh yes,

Mr. Jones said you needed a new one.

I got this from my cashier.

Let me buy that from you, ma'am.

Just to keep us even.

Thank you.

Welcome.

Well, if nothing else this restores my faith in human nature.

To think of all the pious editorials this sanctimonious galoot used to print

and now I find him printing bogus money.

My, my...

When you took the Clarion from me, Miss Bronson,

you presented me with a monstrously simple choice

sin or style.

I chose sin, because it presented the greater challenge.

They�re beautiful pictures,

but they're backwards.

Negatives always are.

They said, if I brought you a fresh $10 bill,

I'd see you manufacture money right before my eyes.

Miss Bronson,

he doesn't perform this as a parlor trick.

The formulas are very complicated.

Whole process has to be watched constantly

anywhere from 12 to 16 hours.

Now you know I'm not gonna sit around here for 16 hours.

Which means you'd...
you'd like me to turn my back,

so you can pull some kind of a switch on me.

Well, I actually don't believe that we asked you to do anything.

As a matter of fact, you invited yourself into this.

Why don't you just invite yourself back out again?

Because nobody's gonna fleece me

or my town

with some rotten confidence game.

If I find out this was some stupid attempt to con me,

Well, this is a reversal...
you against crime.

Now, wait just a minute, let's...
let's not get our backs up.

All right, now.

You have the serial number on this bill.

No.

All right, Thaddeus,

you write this down.

A - 3 - 9 - 0

6 - 2 - 8 - A

Now you brought in this money, but we paid you for it, right?

Right.

So, you haven't lost a dime.

Now check the serial numbers.

Now it'll take Mr. Austin here about an hour to mix up that formula.

You wouldn't mind waiting an hour, would you?

Well, as they say

time is money.

And in this case it's true.

Good.

All right George, go ahead, start mixing.

All right, Miss Bronson, gentlemen.

May I have the bill?

Check the serial number again

A - 3 - 9 - 0 - 6 - 2 - 8 - A

Between 11 and 15 hours from now,

when the negatives are ready, this litmus paper will turn bright red.

That means that the process will be complete precisely

45 minutes after that.

Sometime between 10 o'clock in the morning and 2 in the afternoon,

a duplicate of your $10 bill is gonna come out of that press over there.

If you want to see it, Miss Bronson,

you drop around.

Good night.
Good night.

Good night.
Good night.

Thaddeus.

Madam Bronson's bill.

How is that?

It's just fine.

Why don't you get the one out of the press?

Tell me what happened.

All right,

Madam Bronson brought this bill

and your father switched it for one of ours.

Now, that's ours in the press.

You do mean real bills?

Oh, they're all real bills.

But what's Joshua doing?

Don't tell her Thaddeus, I want to test it out on her.

Now, the way the numbers are printed,

the only thing you could have changed was a 3, 2 and 8

3 - 9 - 0 - 6 - 2 - 8

3 - 9 - 0 - 6 - 2...

8
They both have the same numbers!

Joshua, I have no idea which one you changed.

That one.

It's perfect!

We took a 13 and an 18 and made two 18s.

And now we've made two 28s the same way.

Thaddeus there's red paper in the top drawer of my desk.

As you see the litmus paper has turned to bright red.

Joshua,

would you see to the window.

The negatives are ready, but I have to darken the room.

Now, sit in real close here so you can watch the whole thing.

The first thing I do is open the press,

take out your $10 bill

and slip this in between the negatives.

Now watch very closely.

Your bill.

Check the serial number.

In this light?

Hold her closer to the lamp, ma'am.

Oh, thank you.

Gentlemen,

you have made a believer out of me

These bills have identical serial number, so I know one is a fake.

But I don't know which one,
I can't tell them apart.

How many more can you make?

The ink of the original bill can be

lifted only once.

And these negative papers can take only one chemical bath.

Yes, but you can press more than one at a time though, can't you?

Well yes - 20 with the equipment we have now.

Oh my, George, you really have something here.

You know, you ought to thank me for having taken the Clarion away from you.

Yes, Mia, if you hadn't run me out of the printing business,

none of this would be happening.

Now, I bring this up to you, because it was my mistake that brought you into this,

and I know you certainly aren't here for your health.

No.
Are you speaking for everyone here?

We talked it over last night,

and working the various neighboring towns we could safely market

1,000 a week.

And suppose we dealt you in for 20%

that's $200 a week.

No, I'm sorry, that's not the way I do things.

It's small-time.

I want in and up fast and bake,

before you make another mistake

and somebody else finds out about this.

One batch is only $200.

Yes,

with $10 bills.

For me

you print $1,000 bills.

Where are we gonna get $20,000 bills?

I'll see to that.

I'll go to Denver myself and get 'em.

Well, I told you she was gonna want more and more and more!

And what if I do?

It's no skin off your nose.

Well, gentlemen,

that's the proposition.

You print me $20,000

and I'll leave you alone.

Joshua, we haven't decided yet how we're gonna divide the spoil.

Let's keep it simple - 50/50.

Oh, I think you and Thaddeus deserve a third apiece.

Mr. Austin, I think that's too generous.

After all, if we do get the 20,000 it's still only half as much as she stole from you.

No, you take 10 and we'll keep 10.

We're gonna need four railroad tickets to Denver.

There's the last of the money that your dad loaned us.

Oh, thank you.

I don't want you going down there to get them yourself.

You got anybody you can trust?

Yes,

the doctor that came to see you that first night, Dr. Golden.

He's a friend.

Our only one.

You're gonna have to walk away from all this you know, Charlotte.

Well,

everything we have is in daddy's notebook.

The house and the furniture belong to, Dr. Golden.

I don't remember him.
What's he like?

Are you jealous?

No, I'm just curious,

I think.

Dr. Golden is daddy's age.

Oh.

Maybe Charlotte ought to leave tonight,

she could catch the midnight train.

Mr. Austin, if you're convincing to worry...

Only about Charlotte.

Now Mr. Austin, we'll

be at least 10 hours away before Mia finds out that she's been taken.

And I'll take her a while to find out we went to Denver.

We'll buy new tickets there and be lost and gone forever.

I happen to be quite willing to be put into danger if we can

give our friend Mia Bronson just a little touch of what she deserves.

You know there's a way to do that.

Something I've been thinking about.

Mr. Austin can you show me how to operate that old printing press?

Thaddeus, will it get our money back?

Well, no.

Then it won't do.

If there's a way daddy can get back some of the money Mia Bronson took from him

then I want to do it.

If I was afraid of that woman, I would have said so long ago.

I guess, that settles that.

Ma'am.

Why are two men out there?

Oh, they're friends are the two men out in back.

All four of them work for me.

Lady, if you've told anybody else what we're doing...

Mr. Jones, you're the one who makes stupid mistakes, not I.

I also don't carry around $20,000 without protection.

But I have told those four trusted employees

that nobody leaves this house without my say-so,

and if I don't come out

they come in.

Is that Miss Bronson?

Please.

Thank you.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Good evening.

Here you go.

Oh, thank you.

We're ready.

Here you are, George,

20 new $1,000 bills.

Well, that's it, Miss Bronson.

Now we wait.

How long will it be before that little paper starts turning red?

Oh, sometime tomorrow morning, depends on the chemical mixture.

Should be bright red by noon.

Oh.

Anything else to worry about?

No, ma'am.

No, we check it from time to time just to be sure, but it's

automatic now.

Good.

Oh...

I took those duplicate tens of yours

to various banks in Denver,

and they pass with flying colors.

So I have all the confidence in the world in this process of yours.

But you have $20,000 in that machine that belongs to me.

And that's where it's gonna spend the night -

with me.

Wait you...
you can't...

Why not, Mr. Smith?

Well...

I have quarters above my saloon
I can lock up like a bank.

But you'll ruin it.

How?

You said it was automatic.

It's the chemicals...

the temperature...

The temperature in your quarters...

the night air...

would might throw everything off.

That's it.

What might it throw off?

The timing...
the whole timing.

You mean the little paper turning red?

Exactly.

Oh well now, George,

don't you worry

the night air won't get to it.

Not the short distance I have to go.

And the temperature in my place is just the same as it is right here.

Now, as soon as it starts changing color,

I'll bring this thing back

or you can come to my place and check it.

But if you think I'm gonna leave $20,000 here with you,

you're even stupider than I've taken you for.

Daddy, she has the money can't we just save it?

Darling,

there is absolutely nothing we can say.

Yeah.

She's gonna be sitting there and watching for that litmus paper turn red.

When it doesn't, she's gonna open the press.

Or bring it here along with her four thugs.

She'll bring ten.

The minute she sees nothing has happened she'll know what we were trying to do.

And won't make any difference that we didn't get away with it.

She'll call her dogs, all of them.

Well, train leaves in about an hour.

I guess we better be on it.

All right, I have everything packed.

Charlotte, Mr. Austin,

the only smart thing you two can do is to get on that train and go.

Oh, oh...

I have a terrible feeling he's about to come up with another one of his brilliant ideas.

Yeah, and a very dangerous one.

That absolutely might not work at all.

In fact, if I tell it to you...you

probably won't believe it's gonna work.

I think I'd rather not even hear it.

But I got it from you.

Me?
I ain't say a word.

Yeah, you did.

You said that she's gonna open that press.

What is the idea, Joshua?

Well, it's really dangerous

and if it doesn't work...

What if it doesn't work?

Well, I don't want to think about that.

It's something I might chance, if I were alone.

Joshua, that train leaves at midnight.

Either we're all on it or we all miss it together.

Now, what's your idea?

Well,

we all know that Mia is just a wee bit on the suspicious side, right?

Now, I'm willing to bet that she'll open that press,

just to make sure that the money's really in there.

Anyway,

I'm gonna claim that she did,

and that's why the process didn't work.

If you claim she opened that press and she didn't

you're not gonna get out of that saloon alive.

It's the last chance we've got to get another crack at her.

And like I said

I'm willing to bet she opened it.

Are you willing to bet your life on it?

Now, put that gun away!

Miss Bronson is expecting us.

Put it away!

It's 6 a.m.

That's right.

If you don't wake her up right now,

you're gonna be in more trouble than you're worth.

Not so loud,
not so loud...

if I let you wake her up by that...

Carl, what's going on out there?

All right,

all right, just a minute, please.

It's Joshua Smith and Thaddeus Jones.

I think you know why we're here.

Carl, wake up Buck.

And both of you stay right outside this door.

Yes, ma'am.

Come in.

We came to check the press.

All right,
check it.

This has been tampered with.

It's been what?

Don't it's been what me,

it's been tampered with, it's been opened.

I don't know what you're talking about.

It hasn't been touched.

I can tell by the litmus paper it hasn't changed color - you opened it!

I did not!

All right, maybe something else went wrong.

But I don't think so.

You watched us put your money in that press, every bill.

Now, you've just cheated so many people in your life,

you can't believe when something happens right in front of your eyes, can you?

You had to check that press, didn't you?

You had to make sure your money was really there.

All right, I...

I did check the top bill.

Oh...

But that's all, just the top one.

Well, that's all it takes to stop the whole process.

All right, come on take your money out of here and let us have the press.

It's the only one we've got. The process won't work now.

Why not?

The transfer of ink depends on pressure and no air.

When you opened this thing, you let in air and lost pressure

and the transfer process stopped.

Now, thank the Lord then negatives didn't print.

We'd never been able to use these bills again.

You mean, you don't need new ones?

Only have to let these dry, before we can start again.

All right, spread 'em out right here let 'em dry

and bring 'em back to us at 9 o'clock tonight.

Easy, easy...

Everything all right in there, Miss Bronson?

Now Miss Bronson, please don't fool around with it again.

Just take it, lock it in your room, watch it,

but keep your hands off of 'em.

Now, can you do that?

Yes.

I'm sorry I...

I realize I was very...

Never mind, just get your suitcase.

Certainly.

Excuse me.

Thank you, George.

You will be careful, would you?

Where money's concerned,

I'm always careful.

Good night, gentlemen.

$20,000

Aces four.

Some you win, some you lose.

Excuse me, but I have to talk to you

in private.

You'll excuse us, gentlemen,

we'll be back.

Have you been winning?

Well, in an honest game we usually win,
Charlotte, we're doing all right.

Oh, I'm glad, it'll make this easier for you.

Easier for what?

Well, $10,000 will help daddy finish his research,

but it isn't enough as you know.

You do believe in what he's doing, don't you?

You don't want to see him gobbled up by some industrial mobster, do you?

No.

So, why don't you go tell him that and give him your half?

Our $10,000?

Mm-hmm, and then he'll have the whole 20,

which was really his in the first place.

Well, there is a certain logic in what you say,

but I'm not so sure that we can afford to be so generous.

I don't want to force you to it, I was thinking of it as a gesture.

But I do want daddy to have his 20,000.

I can get it another way.

You can?

Yes, Kid.

You see, when you were both unconscious that first night,

you were mumbling to each other.

And he called you Kid and you called him Heyes.

And it made me curious.

So since then I found out you're worth $10,000 apiece.

Charlotte,

you really wouldn't do that to us, would you?

I mean, you really wouldn't do that to me, you know.

Now, would you?

I mean, I really mean more than that to you.

Oh, you do.

It was very exciting kissing you,

knowing who you were and everything.

That's all it was?

I'm sorry, Kid, but it couldn't go anywhere, could it?

I do like you.

And that's why I didn't

bring this up before.

That's one reason, anyway.

Pardon me,

what's the other reason?

Well, I really couldn't do anything until the right man got on the train.

And finally, the last time we stopped, he did.

I haven't spoken to him yet,

but he's armed and he looks kind of mean.

He's a U.S. Marshal.

Hey, Kid,

now I've had a little time to think about this.

And you know there's one thing we've never done before.

We've never made a noble open-handed gesture to the cause of science.

Oh, no?

What about the Chauncey Beauregard wing in a hospital in San Francisco?

That was the science of medicine,

this is the science of survival.
Now, come on.

I'm really surprised at you, Charlotte.

Lets be very very careful, that's a lot of money.

Yeah, that's a lot of woman and she'll turn us in, Kid, you know it.

Are you want to jump off this train get us both killed?

Or you want to make the noble gesture?

I'll tell you what, let's do.

Let's make the gesture.

What's it say?

What's that over there?

Mia's not gonna like this.

Hey, look here.

Miss Bronson, open up...

All right, Max, I'm coming.

Please don't go near that thing, I don't want it jar.

Jar what?
Never mind. What do you want?

Look at this!
There's a box the railroad station

got a hundred, thousands of them - they're all over town!

Contest

A $1,000 prize will be given to the first man to figure out

how Mia Bronson marks the cards in her crooked games

at the crooked diamond horseshoe.

Win $1,000 and help stop crooked gambling.

Apply for prize money to Mr. Joshua Smith

and Mr. Thaddeus Jones,

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue,

Washington DC.

Oh, no.
No, no...

No, it can't be,
it can't be...

No!
My money!

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