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1
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,210
[Abby] Previously on
Work in Progress.
2
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,616
This is still
kind of fun, right?
3
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:09,880
Kind of.
4
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,035
So what's the gaggle of crones
5
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,963
getting into this weekend?
6
00:00:13,038 --> 00:00:14,378
[Abby] A group of cronesis not called a gaggle.
7
00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:15,960
It's called a dustbin.
8
00:00:16,041 --> 00:00:17,551
You know what?
I hope she turns out gay.
9
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,220
It would make everythingso much easier.
10
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,888
How, exactly?
11
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,886
What kind of janky
fuck site are you even on?
12
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,393
I'm just looking.
13
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,060
The San Francisco branch
isn't coming in
14
00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,228
for the meeting next week.
15
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,556
They suspending all travel.
16
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,225
[Abby] All right. I love you.
17
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,059
It's gonna be all right.
18
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,369
We'll be all right.
19
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,395
Hey, man.
Six fuckin' feet.
20
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,019
Oh, Jesus.
21
00:01:08,093 --> 00:01:09,523
[both laughing]
22
00:01:09,594 --> 00:01:10,944
[Campbell]
I hope you have insurance.
23
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,441
[laughs] You know
I don't, bitch!
24
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,112
-Excuse me, ma'am.
-What are you--
25
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,186
-Sorry. Oh, this is-- Oh.
-Out of my way, ma'am.
26
00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,777
Make way!
27
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,780
That's what I call
a food permit.
28
00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:20,358
Wait, you got
your Bulleit, right?
29
00:01:20,438 --> 00:01:21,358
Hell, yeah, I did.
30
00:01:21,439 --> 00:01:22,949
Thank you very much!
31
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,698
[security guard]
Where's the party?
32
00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:26,124
[Campbell] Uh...
33
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,948
[Abby] It depends.
Watch your six.
34
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:29,793
[Campbell chuckles]
35
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:30,803
[Abby] Ha!
36
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:36,628
[Campbell] Okay!
37
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,459
[Abby] Ha, we did really well!
38
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,134
[Campbell chuckles] Yeah,
this will last us the week.
39
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,972
Let's not make promises
we can't keep.
40
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,467
Got it.
41
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:44,483
-[both laugh]
-[Abby] All right.
42
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,397
What the fuck?
43
00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,993
[Campbell] Yeah.
Say that again.
44
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,328
[indistinct chatter]
45
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,080
[woman] That poster
looks really good.
46
00:02:09,154 --> 00:02:10,164
[woman 2] Can I get that blue
marker for a minute?
47
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,962
[woman] Mm-hm.
48
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,514
Oh, hey, Irene!
49
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,836
You do know this is
the Lesbian Caucus?
50
00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:25,012
Oh, yeah. I-- Yeah.
51
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,510
Well, aren't you a bisexual?
52
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,683
-Yeah.
-Exactly.
53
00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,852
This is lesbian only.
54
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,685
Oh.
55
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,020
So you won't feel
comfortable here.
56
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,016
[Abby] I didn't know.
57
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,317
Irene...
58
00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,531
You're only the
treasurer, Campbell.
59
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,203
Yeah, thank you very much.
60
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,527
And eat it.
61
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,952
I won that election
fair and square.
62
00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:51,035
No, she called you
the t-- treasurer.
63
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,616
Well, I just wanted to--
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00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:54,366
Campbell, I knew
I shouldn't have come here.
65
00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:56,037
-What?
-I just--
66
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:58,041
Come on, let's go walk it off.
You're fine.
67
00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,713
God...
68
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,456
[Campbell] Hey, what are
you doin' on Friday?
69
00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,048
I mean, I have a lot of things
I'm deciding between.
70
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,878
[chuckles] No,
I don't have any plans.
71
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,299
A bunch of us are
goin' out Friday night
72
00:03:07,379 --> 00:03:08,719
to this club up
on the North Side.
73
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:09,715
It's called Big Chicks.
74
00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,062
It's lesbian night.
75
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,721
Oh. Yeah, I know.
And like bis--
76
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,225
There's gonna be dancing.
It's gonna be fun.
77
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,136
Y-- You got me.
I'd love to go.
78
00:03:16,221 --> 00:03:17,901
-Thank you so much.
-[chuckles] That's awesome.
79
00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:19,357
Yeah, come on.
Let's go.
80
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,907
You comin' in?
81
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,070
Um... I mean--
I'm thinkin' about it.
82
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,414
I don't know.
83
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:31,409
Trust me.
84
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,490
You're gonna love it.
85
00:03:32,570 --> 00:03:34,080
Really?
86
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,499
[sighs]
87
00:03:35,573 --> 00:03:36,383
Okay.
88
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,423
It looks hot.
89
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,498
[laughs]
90
00:03:40,537 --> 00:03:41,917
Oh, I was right!
91
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:44,011
[dance music playing]
92
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,364
-Oh! Abby!
-[exclaims]
93
00:04:01,391 --> 00:04:02,771
Oh!
94
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,439
You made it!
I'm so glad!
95
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,783
I can't believe this place!
It's amazing!
96
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,199
I know.
97
00:04:08,273 --> 00:04:09,453
[Abby] I'm fuckin' freakin' out!
98
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,948
It's so great!
99
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,624
Oh my God!
100
00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:14,288
[Cambell] Let me just go get
some Rolling Rocks!
101
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,946
-Yes, please.
-I'm gonna order, you buy.
102
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,959
[Abby] Okay, let's not
make this a habit.
103
00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:21,458
Down the hatch
and into the spirit.
104
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,760
[both cheer] Ahh!
105
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:27,625
-[Campbell] More, please.
-Oh, God.
106
00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,883
[indistinct]
107
00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:32,471
You know,
we're from out of town.
108
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:35,135
We go to college.
109
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,470
[laughs]
110
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:37,809
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
111
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,784
[dance music continues]
112
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,815
Whoo!
113
00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:46,147
I feel good out here.
114
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,491
It was so fucking
hot in there.
115
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,320
I swear to God.
116
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,741
I was sweating through all
my layers. Feel--
117
00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:52,324
Don't, it's gross!
118
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,079
But I don't care.
I had so much fun!
119
00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:54,990
Called it!
120
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:55,988
You did call it.
121
00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:56,995
Thank you so much.
122
00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,326
Is this your first time?
123
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,330
[Abby] Yeah.
124
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,751
That's okay though.
125
00:05:00,825 --> 00:05:02,575
I mean, oh, my God,
I was so nervous.
126
00:05:02,619 --> 00:05:03,919
[chuckles] Why?
127
00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:05,593
Well, I don't know.
128
00:05:05,663 --> 00:05:07,093
I mean, I was just
like feelin' sick, kind of.
129
00:05:07,165 --> 00:05:08,755
And-- and like,
I was on my way up here,
130
00:05:08,792 --> 00:05:10,262
I almost turned around
like several times.
131
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:12,093
And I'm so fucking
glad I didn't.
132
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,258
Thank you, Campbell.
133
00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:14,756
Oh, you're welcome.
134
00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:16,678
Fuck! I belong here!
135
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:19,516
I am a lesbian!
136
00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:21,692
No shit!
137
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,187
Yo! Fuck you!
138
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,863
[Campbell] Yeah! Fuck you!
139
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,611
You heard what she said?
She said, "Fuck you!"
140
00:05:27,685 --> 00:05:29,775
[Campbell] Fuck you
and your little friend
141
00:05:29,854 --> 00:05:32,864
with a backwards visor on!
142
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:34,865
-Bye, fuckers!
-Shall you?
143
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:37,037
Oh, we shall.
144
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,700
-What's your name anyways?
-Name's Lory.
145
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:41,038
I'm Abby. I'm really
excited to meet you.
146
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,540
Whoa!
147
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,541
We better see you
in there later, Lory.
148
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:45,713
[Abby] Drink.
149
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,681
Drinks, please.
150
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,970
-Abby?
-Um-hmm?
151
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,720
Do you feel like the world is
finally catching up to you?
152
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:55,218
Wait, what are
you talking about?
153
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,550
[laughs] Oh.
154
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,715
Definitely.
155
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,467
Welcome to my world, girl.
156
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:01,729
Okay, well, I don't know
how you do it.
157
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,311
-It's not fun.
-Because it's tiring.
158
00:06:04,389 --> 00:06:06,899
And my hands feel like
they're like cottonmouth.
159
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,819
-You know, like they have it.
-Oh, no. Yeah, yeah.
160
00:06:08,893 --> 00:06:10,323
So when did you
start cuttin' hair?
161
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:11,823
-I had no idea you did it.
-Yeah.
162
00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:14,315
I learned at the
Bosco Amore Hair Academy.
163
00:06:14,399 --> 00:06:16,069
Amore... Okay.
164
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:18,985
-Oh, you've heard of it.
-Yeah. I've heard of it.
165
00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:20,910
-No, you know Nora.
-Yeah.
166
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,083
Seven kids. She made sure
that each one of us had a trade,
167
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,832
but I'm tellin' you, it was
so she could get free shit.
168
00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:27,250
Oh, for sure.
169
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,752
So she could get
free asphalt resurfacing,
170
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,839
free dental hygiene,
171
00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:33,836
free HVAC repair.
172
00:06:33,918 --> 00:06:35,928
You name it,
she's got a kid for it.
173
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,178
Also, I love that one of
the things she often needs
174
00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:39,926
is asphalt resurfacing.
175
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,682
-Jesus, Nora.
-[laughs]
176
00:06:41,759 --> 00:06:45,099
Well, cheers to Bosco Amore
and also to your mom.
177
00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:48,944
'Cause your girl
likes the family discount.
178
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,691
Oh, you think you're
getting a discount?
179
00:06:50,768 --> 00:06:52,358
-Uh...
-[chuckles]
180
00:06:52,437 --> 00:06:54,357
Okay, we should have like
talked about that before.
181
00:06:54,439 --> 00:06:55,449
[laughs]
Don't make me laugh.
182
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,027
-It goes uneven.
-Yeah.
183
00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,776
Wait, why did
you stop cutting hair?
184
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:02,124
Because it's just cooler
to have "beauty school drop-out"
185
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,035
on your resume.
Am I right?
186
00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:05,865
That's actually pretty tight,
187
00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,459
like totally Frenchie.
188
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,714
-The first time I saw Grease,-Uh-huh.
189
00:07:09,746 --> 00:07:11,456
and actually every
subsequent time...
190
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,383
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
191
00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:15,126
I was, like, trying to find
out who I loved more,
192
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,548
Rizzo or Kenickie.
193
00:07:16,586 --> 00:07:18,216
Ugh, Abby, please.
It's Chacha.
194
00:07:18,296 --> 00:07:20,806
-[Abby] Ooh... la-la.
-[laughs]
195
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,810
Abby, you're gonna love this.
196
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:25,138
[Nancy] Oh, yeah, I mean,
I am not overhyping this.
197
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,478
Yeah-- This is what--
I'm so envious of you right now.
198
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,649
I mean, you're literally
not gonna want to leave.
199
00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:31,072
[Campbell]
This place has everything
200
00:07:31,142 --> 00:07:32,482
you could possibly want. Okay?
201
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,494
It's a Porky's for lesbians.
202
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,146
Okay, you know what? That's
everything you would ever want.
203
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,155
[Nancy] Okay--
It's so much more than that.
204
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,657
-What are you fucking doin'?
-It's a place where you
205
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,828
get to be who you want to be
without fear.
206
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:43,497
[Campbell] Boring. Okay?
207
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,825
It's a place where you
can bone anyone you want
208
00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,671
without fear.
With consent.
209
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,166
Campbell, is Wimmin's Fest
like your spring break?
210
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,839
Oh, correct, yes.
211
00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:52,837
[Nancy] With a little
less Dave Matthews
212
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,508
and a little more Enya.
213
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,166
Do you wanna hear
my most perfect Wimmin's--
214
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:58,005
[all] No.
215
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,354
You're arriving
with one girlfriend,
216
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,345
and you're leaving
with a different one.
217
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,767
-You're single.
-Yeah, exactly.
218
00:08:04,842 --> 00:08:07,272
This year, I'm gonna be
the other girlfriend. Right?
219
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:10,435
And then next year,
I'll let some sexy, you know,
220
00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:12,863
ambitious dyke steal my lady,
221
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:15,688
-and it's me paying it forward.
-[bangs car door]
222
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,778
Let's fuckin' get it
together, people.
223
00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:19,954
-We're almost there.
-Okay, Grandpa!
224
00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:22,703
♪ I'm tryin' to tell yousomethin' about my life! ♪
225
00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:25,945
One hour without being
a stereotype, Nancy!
226
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:28,120
[all singing]
♪ I went to the doctor ♪
227
00:08:28,199 --> 00:08:30,709
♪ I went to the mountains ♪
228
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,129
♪ And I lookedto the children ♪
229
00:08:33,204 --> 00:08:35,634
♪ And I drankfrom the fountains ♪
230
00:08:35,707 --> 00:08:39,717
♪ There's more than one answerto these questions ♪
231
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,468
♪ Pointing mein a crooked line ♪
232
00:08:42,547 --> 00:08:46,717
♪ And the less I seek my sourcefor some definitive ♪
233
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,725
♪ The closer I am to fine ♪
234
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,898
-[honking horn]
-♪ Yeah ♪
235
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,567
♪ Whoo ♪
236
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,570
Abby, you are going
to love this.
237
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,738
[Nancy] You are, you are--
I mean, seriously.
238
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:01,207
You're going to weep
when you leave.
239
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,160
[Campbell]
I think that gullies can be
240
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:07,164
just as comfortable
as a bedroll.
241
00:09:07,196 --> 00:09:08,406
[Nancy] You've slept in
a lot of gullies?
242
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,833
[Campbell] Enough.
243
00:09:09,907 --> 00:09:10,997
[Renee] What if it rains?
244
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,504
[Campbell] What is rain
245
00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:14,917
when we are communing
in Mother Na--
246
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,344
We're almost there.
247
00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:17,922
We're almost there.
[vocalizes]
248
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,667
Come on. It's time
to start drinking.
249
00:09:19,751 --> 00:09:21,261
Abby, beer me.
250
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,090
-[Renee] Oh... we're here!
-[beer cans open]
251
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,429
[Renee] We're here!
252
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,350
[dogs barking]
253
00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:29,353
[Campbell] This room
makes me wanna sing
254
00:09:29,385 --> 00:09:31,435
sad Sarah McLachlan songs.
255
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,768
Please don't.
256
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:38,283
-[off-key vocalizing]
-[dogs howling]
257
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,531
I thought you said
Sarah McLachlan songs.
258
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:42,203
[both laugh]
259
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:43,783
I'm just nervous.
260
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,446
I think I have nervous
energy right now.
261
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,040
I know. It makes sense.
But come on.
262
00:09:47,111 --> 00:09:49,041
You've seen photos of her,
videos of her.
263
00:09:49,113 --> 00:09:50,623
It's gonna be great.
264
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,122
I know. But she hasn't
seen photos of me.
265
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,785
I just want to get
through this meet-and-greet
266
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,463
so I can bring her home,
267
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,211
and I don't know
even what they're like,
268
00:09:58,289 --> 00:10:00,129
looking to make sure
that I'm not someone who--
269
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,132
Starts singing
Sarah McLachlan songs
270
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,054
-when you see a fucking puppy?
-[laughs] Yeah.
271
00:10:04,128 --> 00:10:05,638
-Fair.
-Good luck on that test.
272
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,392
[both laugh]
273
00:10:07,465 --> 00:10:09,385
I am so sorry
to keep you waiting.
274
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,147
Little Bob Barker made
a potty on his new parents.
275
00:10:12,804 --> 00:10:15,154
I just want to say
that couples like you--
276
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,227
[Abby] Oh,
we're not a couple.
277
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:18,976
-No.
-Oh. Well,
278
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:20,988
dogs that go to a house
with two loving parents--
279
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:23,146
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I have my own place.
280
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:25,235
The dog will be comin'
home with me.
281
00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:27,414
She's just here for really
282
00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,663
little to no
moral support at all.
283
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,831
Hi...
284
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,659
Okay.
285
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,999
Well, uh, I'll be back
in a jiffy with Sparkle.
286
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:36,334
[Campbell] Thank you.
287
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,335
-Sparkle?
-Oh, I'm changing that.
288
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,591
I just can't wrap my brain
around that you're moving
289
00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:43,343
back to your apartment tomorrow.
It's so weird.
290
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,836
I know.
But I figure it's time.
291
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,513
-Right?
-Yeah.
292
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,851
With the dog,
I'm gonna be coming
293
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,260
inside and outside more often.
294
00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:51,350
And I don't want
to do that to you, Abby.
295
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,350
Mostly for my sake, because
you know I'm horny.
296
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:56,103
Oh, God.
297
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:59,360
Well, I am not gonna apologize
for being a healthy,
298
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:03,358
sexually frustrated
Woman of the Year!
299
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,862
[Abby chuckles]
I don't want you to apologize.
300
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,528
Just don't use
the H-O-R-N-Y word.
301
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,953
-[chuckle]
-I like the word.
302
00:11:11,028 --> 00:11:14,868
Hey, are you gonna be
okay on your own?
303
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,207
I think so.
304
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,292
Kind of makes me wanna,
you know,
305
00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:22,209
start belting out off-tune
Sarah McLachlan songs.
306
00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,384
Oh, I know.
307
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,126
[both hum]
308
00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:27,048
-[Campbell chuckles]
-That's what it seems like...
309
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:28,642
[Campbell]
Isn't Zoom therapy just like
310
00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:30,301
normal therapy, though?
You know?
311
00:11:30,339 --> 00:11:32,889
Ostensibly, but, like,
you're fucking talking
312
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,731
through a screen.
313
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:37,226
Yeah. But I mean, now that
this therapist is leaving,
314
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,229
-Uh-huh.
-I think you should consider it.
315
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,815
But did I ever tell you that
Doctor Franklin once said
316
00:11:41,851 --> 00:11:45,071
that people with severe anxiety
thrive in chaos?
317
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,744
This is me thriving.
318
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:48,238
-[chuckles]
-I mean, seriously,
319
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,740
I don't have to go into work.
320
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,991
I can start drinkin'
at four o'clock.
321
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:53,408
Eastern.
322
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,906
I was gonna ask
which time zone.
323
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,827
Yeah, I don't
have to shower every day.
324
00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:58,666
Ugh... Could you, though?
I mean...
325
00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,591
-[laughs]
-...for us, the world.
326
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,165
I know. Okay.
327
00:12:02,246 --> 00:12:03,916
-This is Sparkle.
-Oh!
328
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,012
-[Abby exclaims]
-Oh, my gosh. Oh.
329
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:08,263
Oh, this is Eleanor Roosevelt.
330
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,594
I love you.
331
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,429
I'll do anything.
332
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,100
Oh, I love her so much.
333
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,932
-I love you.
-[Abby] What's your secret?
334
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,693
I'm here too.
It's like the prom.
335
00:12:17,762 --> 00:12:19,602
-What's up?
-[Campbell laughs]
336
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,944
Oh... Oh, I love you.
337
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,440
[Abby]
I think she might be deaf.
338
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,776
Would you like
to say "Hi" to Abby?
339
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,436
Okay. You know what?
340
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,699
-That's rude.
-Yeah, just roll your eyes.
341
00:12:27,772 --> 00:12:29,952
You're perfect!
342
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,118
I love her.
343
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,446
Well, good luck.
344
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,365
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
345
00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:34,952
To the two of you.
346
00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:36,697
-Hold on, we're not--
-We're not--
347
00:12:36,739 --> 00:12:38,119
-[Chandler] Right. You got that?
-[Nancy] Watch your mouth.
348
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:39,867
-Jesus.
-Oh, too little too late.
349
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:41,459
-[Renee] And it's called One-O.
-[Chandler] One-O?
350
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,960
-[Nancy] Yeah.
-[Renee] Yeah. It'll be fun.
351
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,131
[Chandler]
No, I don't need any help.
352
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:45,629
[Nancy] Oh, no. She's fine.
353
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,960
[indistinct conversation]
354
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,295
[Abby] Hey, Campbell,
we gotta go.
355
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,554
Registration's about to close.
356
00:12:49,585 --> 00:12:51,385
[Campbell] All right, yes. Yes.
357
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:52,800
All the good workshops
are gonna fill up. Let's go.
358
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,474
[Abby] Chandler,
are you fucking ser--
359
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,143
We're in the middle
of a fuckin' forest.
360
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:57,475
What? I want to make sure
it's clean in case
361
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,476
we have fucking guests, Abby.
362
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,152
Yeah, 'cause everybody
who's gonna visit is very clean.
363
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,476
What a tool.
364
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:03,651
Yeah, have fun,
Susie Homemaker.
365
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,153
That's homo-maker to you.
366
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,980
Go fuck yourself.
I'll catch up.
367
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:08,239
-Don't worry about her.
-Don't bother.
368
00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:09,652
-[both laughing]
-Burn!
369
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,159
[laughs] Such a burn!
370
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,816
-[Renee] Have fun.
-[Nancy] Catch you later.
371
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:13,994
-[Renee] We'll meet you there.
-[Campbell] Yeah.
372
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,502
[Renee] All right.
373
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,298
[woman] Support inclusion.
374
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,342
Lesbian Avengers for inclusion.
375
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:28,919
Oh. What a joy, what a joy.
376
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,840
Oh, your sweet faces.
377
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,432
Hello.
378
00:13:32,503 --> 00:13:34,183
We're gonna be
here for seven hours.
379
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:36,509
Just kidding, just kidding.
380
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:40,849
Thank you all for coming
to Gender Journeys.
381
00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:41,847
[applause]
382
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,283
Yeah, let's have fun.
383
00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,191
Look, look at all
the beautiful varied bodies
384
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,436
we have here today.
385
00:13:49,478 --> 00:13:51,028
-Take a look around.
-[crowd applauds]
386
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,359
[workshop leader]
Now, our journey begins
387
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:56,029
with understanding
our bodies, right?
388
00:13:56,044 --> 00:14:00,454
And-- and appreciating it
for all that they do.
389
00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:03,459
Once we shed
societal expectations
390
00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:05,544
that are forced upon us as women
391
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,458
of what our bodies
should look like,
392
00:14:07,496 --> 00:14:09,796
of how they
should be presented,
393
00:14:09,874 --> 00:14:12,884
we can fully immerse ourselves
394
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:15,719
in the infinite possibilities
395
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:19,220
of how we define
our full selves,
396
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:23,144
including our innate gender.
397
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:26,730
Now, take this time
to take in every aspect
398
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,901
of your perfect vessel.
399
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,120
Don't be shy. Go ahead.
400
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,900
From your toes to your nose,
401
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,244
and higher. [chuckles]
402
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,160
Take your time.
403
00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:38,384
Sit with that vessel.
404
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,905
You can... yup,
405
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,504
do it at your own speed.
Don't worry.
406
00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:47,594
[Campbell] Abs!
407
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,916
Hi!
408
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,170
-Oh, my God. Hi.
-[chuckles]
409
00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:52,757
Look at what I made.
410
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,757
-I want you to--
-What the fuck is that?
411
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,259
I went to the
Build-a-Beaver Workshop.
412
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,851
-Oh, my--
-Isn't she a beaut?
413
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,680
Get that fucking
thing out of my face.
414
00:14:59,715 --> 00:15:01,265
-[chuckles]
-You said you were gonna go
415
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,676
to the Unpacking
Internalized Misogyny workshop.
416
00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:06,849
Yeah, I decided
it's best packed for
417
00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:09,189
-a little while longer.
-[chuckles] Okay.
418
00:15:09,225 --> 00:15:11,435
[Campbell] How was the
Gender Journey workshop?
419
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,277
Did it take you
anywhere exciting?
420
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,278
You know, we're gonna find out
when I get poison oak
421
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,614
from the woman
sittin' next to me.
422
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,275
-[Campbell] Oh, no.
-Whoa.
423
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:19,447
Hey.
424
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,115
Can you please do me a favor
425
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:22,453
and take this back to camp?
426
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,868
There's a massage tent up there
427
00:15:23,948 --> 00:15:25,788
with the world's
hottest masseuse,
428
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:29,125
and you know your girl's scapula
needs some T-L-C, STAT.
429
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,627
Well, you know what?
You owe me one.
430
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:31,799
-Yeah.
-I'll see you later.
431
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,051
Also, be careful with that.
432
00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,715
Why would I
not be careful with that?
433
00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,473
I know exactly where
I'm going at all times.
434
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,469
-This is why.
-You know what? This is why.
435
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,521
Okay.
436
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,564
-[Nancy] Fuckin'!
-[Chandler laughs]
437
00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:50,477
-[Nancy] Fuck you!
-We'll count 'em out for you.
438
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,982
-One, two, three, four.
-[Nancy] Keep rollin'.
439
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:52,983
Keep rollin'.
440
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,494
Good.
441
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:55,986
[Nancy] So what
do you think so far?
442
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,157
-Blue. Sorry, Chandler.
-[laughter]
443
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,816
Fuck you, Nancy.
444
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,164
Goddammit!
445
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,659
-Of Wimmin's Fest?
-Yeah.
446
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:03,655
[Chandler exhales]
It's bullshit.
447
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,996
Ah! Fuck you.
448
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,406
-[Campbell laughs]
-Okay. Whip.
449
00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:07,829
I know what I'm doin'.
450
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,917
Ooh. We have a quick learner.
451
00:16:09,994 --> 00:16:11,094
[Renee]
Oh, and I have an announcement.
452
00:16:11,162 --> 00:16:12,502
I have one O.
453
00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,014
-Good for you.
-[Nancy] Take it easy.
454
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,090
I've been playin'
your whole hand.
455
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,514
You take it easy.
456
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,182
[Chandler] Oh, good.
Come back.
457
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,756
-She's got one card.
-[Nancy] You know what?
458
00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:20,677
I've never been less
nervous in my life.
459
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:21,679
[all laugh]
460
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,600
This has happened before.
461
00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:25,524
I guess I'm just glad
that we're all here together.
462
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,441
How schmaltzy is that?
463
00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:28,601
-[all] Aw...
-[grunts]
464
00:16:28,679 --> 00:16:32,859
[all] Cheers!
465
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:36,357
To the dykes of Chicago.
466
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:37,861
[Chandler] Revenge is coming
467
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,697
[Campbell]
That request is denied.
468
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,368
-[Abby] Hey.
-[Chandler grunts]
469
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:43,276
Have you seen those
Gender Myth flyers around?
470
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,040
Yeah. What about 'em?
471
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,536
I think they're from
the Camp Trans people.
472
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,213
Hmm...
473
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,377
I'm just gonna destroy
you right now, Chandler.
474
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,880
-Just don't turn out--
-Fucking hell!
475
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,207
[Campbell] Please don't turn out
476
00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:56,046
the electricity in my tent.
477
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,717
Already done.
478
00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,216
I mean, I think
they're really interesting.
479
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:00,717
Oh, yeah.
480
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,389
I mean, if by interesting,
you mean boring,
481
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,967
then it's very interesting.
482
00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:06,466
For real, what do
you think about them?
483
00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:08,309
I mean, I-I don't
think about them.
484
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,894
This is a place for women.
485
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,404
-I win.
-[Chandler] What?
486
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:12,556
-What the f--?
-[Nancy] Renee.
487
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,484
[Campbell] Um, excuse me.
488
00:17:14,517 --> 00:17:17,067
Who was in charge of
watching Renee?
489
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,738
-[Abby laughs]
-[Campbell] Okay.
490
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,647
I-I said we should've
been playing Charades
491
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:22,069
-all night.
-[laughs]
492
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:22,993
Like she would have
played that--
493
00:17:23,025 --> 00:17:24,405
Hey, Abby.
494
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:26,243
-Hey, Alexis.
-[Campbell] Oh, God.
495
00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:28,498
Uh, what're you up to?
What are you doin' here?
496
00:17:28,572 --> 00:17:32,082
Um, I'm a woman
who has sex with women.
497
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,923
No, I remember why
we broke up.
498
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:36,498
Um, I thought you had
moved to Philadelphia?
499
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:37,920
Yeah, I-- I did.
500
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,312
I'm here with my girlfriend.
501
00:17:41,585 --> 00:17:43,755
What... the... fuck.
502
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,596
That is a two-bit,
cheap imitation of Abby.
503
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,598
No, she's not.
She's from Canada.
504
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,104
[Abby] You know what?
505
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:51,766
Whoever she is,
I bet she's lovely.
506
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,270
-Thank you.
-[Abby] You're welcome.
507
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,111
Quick question.
508
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,606
Did you take out an ad
in, like, the Coveralls R Us
509
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,033
for someone like my ex with
a shitton of pockets?
510
00:17:59,103 --> 00:18:00,613
Got it. Okay.
511
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,112
-I'm gonna go. Yeah, 100%.
-Yeah, bye. Bye.
512
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,783
[Campbell] Cool.
513
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,282
-[Abby] It was good to see you.
-Yeah, have fun.
514
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,777
-with your little game.
-Hey! Hey!
515
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,445
Before you leave,
I just want you to take
516
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,867
one more look at
the original Abby.
517
00:18:10,906 --> 00:18:12,706
Okay?
518
00:18:12,783 --> 00:18:14,713
This doesn't fuckin'
happen every day. All right?
519
00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:16,213
[Nancy] Goodbye, goodbye.
520
00:18:16,245 --> 00:18:18,375
-[Campbell] Have a good one.
-Goodbye.
521
00:18:18,455 --> 00:18:20,375
Really glad The
Land is such a peaceful place.
522
00:18:20,457 --> 00:18:22,297
[all laugh]
523
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,800
-[phone dinging repeatedly]
-[Campbell] Emily's husband
524
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,216
was like,
"No, I'm gonna go model
525
00:18:25,296 --> 00:18:26,886
for this art class in the nude."
526
00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:28,642
And I'm like,
"I don't get that."
527
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:29,890
[Abby] Are you
fucking kidding me?
528
00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:31,137
[Campbell] What?
529
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,477
They're canceling Dyke March.
530
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,477
Well, shit.
531
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,533
I mean, I get it, but shit.
532
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:42,316
I bet that means Pride Parade
is gonna be canceled.
533
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,070
Okay, you know what?
I can live with that.
534
00:18:44,148 --> 00:18:45,818
Did you hear that this year,
535
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,078
they're being
sponsored by Cheesy Puffs?
536
00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:49,742
Flavor blasted for the gays!
537
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:52,410
And finger blasted
for the dykes.
538
00:18:52,489 --> 00:18:54,499
I swear to God,
I don't know myself anymore.
539
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,329
First off,
540
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:59,094
-you're crude and you're rude.
-[both laugh]
541
00:18:59,163 --> 00:19:03,093
Two, don't make
a mockery of Pride Parade.
542
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:06,505
It's a beacon of hope
for queer acceptance.
543
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:09,151
You know who's really gonna be
the most heartbroken?
544
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,849
[Mike] You're here.
545
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,191
You're queer.
546
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,600
And I'm getting used to it.
547
00:19:15,679 --> 00:19:16,689
We're here.
548
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:17,942
You're queer.
549
00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:19,105
And I'm gettin' used to it.
550
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:20,691
[Abby] Okay. First of all,
551
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,276
I'm so glad you're
getting used to it.
552
00:19:22,353 --> 00:19:23,783
[Mike chuckles]
553
00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:25,614
Also, did you and your
insurance bros
554
00:19:25,648 --> 00:19:27,278
have a great time
at the Pride Parade?
555
00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:29,616
Totally. Where the fuck
were you guys?
556
00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:32,293
Actually, where the fuck
are Aly and the kids?
557
00:19:32,363 --> 00:19:33,953
Oh, she's parking the car.
558
00:19:34,031 --> 00:19:35,871
I'm too drunk to drive.
[laughs]
559
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,628
[Abby] Oh, my God.
560
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:39,130
And we-- we dropped the
kids off at my parents
561
00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:40,631
because they were gettin'
too much sun.
562
00:19:40,704 --> 00:19:41,714
Oh, they were
getting too much sun?
563
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,383
-Yeah.
-[Campbell] Hey,
564
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,051
are you just gonna
kind of hang out there,
565
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,224
or do you wanna come over
and join some real gays?
566
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:48,393
There he is!
567
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:50,546
-[all cheer]
-Hey...
568
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:53,559
[Campbell] Jags,
I'm so happy to see you.
569
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,728
Words I never thought I'd say.
570
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,481
-[all laugh]
-Ooh!
571
00:19:57,554 --> 00:19:59,234
Abby, please tell me that
you got the kids some beads.
572
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,560
I promised Meg
you'd get her some beads.
573
00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,395
You have the best entrance
574
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,570
to every party. You're just
always happy to be here.
575
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:04,898
Thank you, thank you.
576
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,823
-[Campbell] Aly?
-[Alison] Yes?
577
00:20:06,897 --> 00:20:08,567
-I can get you some beads.
-Okay. All right, hook it up.
578
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,663
But, uh, you can never
ask me how I got them.
579
00:20:11,735 --> 00:20:12,905
[Abby] I'll tell you
in a heartbeat.
580
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,905
Story. Sounds like a good story.
581
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:17,407
Do not blame the fuckin' homos
for you starting to smoke again.
582
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,745
-[laughs sarcastically]
-My Lord.
583
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,091
Jags!
584
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,585
Hey...
585
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,257
[Jags] Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
586
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,585
Do you enjoy bein' a big
ole queer for the day?
587
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,261
[Jags] Yeah, it was awesome.
588
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,009
I didn't even know
Mike was gonna be there,
589
00:20:30,045 --> 00:20:31,425
and then we ran into
a bunch of friends from
590
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,429
-work and school and stuff.
-What?
591
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:34,925
[Jags] Can you believe Brad
and his fiancée?
592
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,603
[chuckles] I know.
Brad the homophobe.
593
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:38,521
Okay, hold on.
Who gave him that nickname?
594
00:20:38,554 --> 00:20:39,944
Oh, he gave it to himself.
595
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,438
Hey, did you know
that the Jewel float
596
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,440
is actually
a giant shopping cart?
597
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,277
It's so cool.
598
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,528
Where were you guys anyway?
We wanted to surprise you.
599
00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:51,525
[Abby] Oh, we actually don't
go to Pride every year.
600
00:20:51,608 --> 00:20:53,698
It's just become somewhat of--
I don't know.
601
00:20:53,736 --> 00:20:55,866
There was this huge
Double-Decker bus,
602
00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:57,454
and that was
the Citibank float.
603
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,115
Citibank loves the gays.
604
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,463
-You've come a long way, baby.
-Don't.
605
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,539
I couldn't have said it
better than Jags himself.
606
00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:05,210
-[Jags] What?
-Words I never thought I'd say.
607
00:21:05,289 --> 00:21:06,879
Hey, you know what,
Jags, no offense.
608
00:21:06,957 --> 00:21:08,127
None taken.
609
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,222
I'm gonna get some food.
610
00:21:09,293 --> 00:21:10,633
Yeah.
611
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,135
Okay. For example, Citibank
612
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,306
-just loves money, right?
-Um-hmm.
613
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,465
But they especially love
that sweet, sweet,
614
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,564
-sweet gay boy money.
-Uhh... Ah-huh. Okay.
615
00:21:18,635 --> 00:21:20,055
And then they're there.
And they're tryin' to get...
616
00:21:20,137 --> 00:21:22,147
It's just like,
I don't know
617
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,226
who the Pride Parade
is for anymore.
618
00:21:24,266 --> 00:21:26,816
Just doesn't-- feel good.
619
00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,818
-Hi.
-Um-hmm.
620
00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:31,320
[Abby] Would you like to end
this one-sided conversation
621
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:32,817
and grab yourself a beer?
622
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,158
Uh, would that be all right?
623
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,988
-I mean, it is your day.
-Thank you.
624
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:36,908
Thank you for noticing.
625
00:21:36,945 --> 00:21:38,155
Grab me one too.
626
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:39,577
[Campbell] Grab me one too.
627
00:21:39,615 --> 00:21:40,995
She's got a
pineapple to fill
628
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:43,499
and I've got an empty fist.
629
00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:44,995
Nickname in college.
630
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:47,337
-[all laugh]
-All right.
631
00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:50,008
[both] Ay...
632
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:53,182
Oh, it's our last
housemate dinner tonight.
633
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:54,847
-Oh.
-Hmm.
634
00:21:54,856 --> 00:21:56,596
You know,
635
00:21:56,632 --> 00:21:59,772
I could make my
world-famous puttanesca.
636
00:21:59,843 --> 00:22:01,273
World-famous?
637
00:22:01,345 --> 00:22:03,015
To which world
are you referring?
638
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:04,941
Also, Campbell,
639
00:22:05,015 --> 00:22:07,015
are you sure you're
gonna want to cook tonight?
640
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:09,605
[Italian accent] A woman
can work like a whore all day,
641
00:22:09,686 --> 00:22:11,606
and still come home
642
00:22:11,688 --> 00:22:14,618
and cook a bellissima meal,
all right?
643
00:22:14,691 --> 00:22:16,531
Like a sex worker, okay?
644
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:17,704
Okay.
645
00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:19,372
And I'm sorry, work all day?
646
00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:21,540
You bought a ton of booze,
647
00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:23,373
most of which is for you.
648
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,464
You gave me an amazing haircut,
649
00:22:25,536 --> 00:22:27,706
and you adopted the most perfect
dog on the face of the planet.
650
00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,712
You know what they say.
651
00:22:29,724 --> 00:22:32,474
"Do what you love, and you'll
never work a day in your life."
652
00:22:32,501 --> 00:22:33,971
That just rolls off the tongue.
653
00:22:34,002 --> 00:22:35,392
[chuckles]
654
00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:37,221
-Hi, Nance!
-[Nancy] Hey...
655
00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:39,886
Booze Pixies
delivery number one!
656
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:42,061
-You're the best.
-[Abby] You are, love you.
657
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:43,890
Thank you.
658
00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:45,559
Actually, I don't
think I wanna cook tonight.
659
00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:46,977
How about we do
our favorite thing,
660
00:22:47,015 --> 00:22:48,065
which is order in?
661
00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:50,566
That would break our record
662
00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,398
of nine consecutive days
in a row.
663
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:53,898
[Abby] Your girl
loves a milestone.
664
00:22:53,915 --> 00:22:55,565
[Campbell] How about chicken?
665
00:22:55,607 --> 00:22:57,157
We haven't had thatfor a while.
666
00:22:57,192 --> 00:22:58,912
[Abby] Okay, not to disagree.
667
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,410
-We had Roost on Tuesday.-Hey! Hey, Bubba.
668
00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:02,832
[Campbell] That wasjust Tuesday?
669
00:23:02,906 --> 00:23:03,906
Hi.
670
00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:05,415
Oh my God.
671
00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:07,081
I fuckin' love you assholes!
672
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:08,749
Booze Pixie Delivery.
673
00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:10,247
Be careful.
674
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:11,589
-[Abby] You too.
-[Chandler] And fuck off.
675
00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:13,423
[Campbell] You too.
676
00:23:13,459 --> 00:23:15,929
What are other ideas for
our final Bacchanalian meal?
677
00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:17,511
How about soup?
678
00:23:17,588 --> 00:23:19,848
How is that Bacchanalian?
679
00:23:19,923 --> 00:23:21,353
What's wrong with soup?
680
00:23:21,425 --> 00:23:23,015
I'm sorry.
681
00:23:23,093 --> 00:23:24,943
When did you become
a Polish grandmother?
682
00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:28,016
Okay, I was gonna save this
surprise for your birthday,
683
00:23:28,098 --> 00:23:30,768
but it's been something
I'm trying on for size.
684
00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:32,605
[chuckles]
685
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,450
And I'm loving it!
It's fitting like a glove!
686
00:23:34,455 --> 00:23:36,605
Damn right it does, Babciu.
687
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:39,704
[Abby] ♪ Borscht, borscht,borscht, borscht, borscht ♪
688
00:23:39,735 --> 00:23:41,445
-[King] Hey...
-[Abby] Hi.
689
00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:43,287
This is so sweet, thank you.
Hi, Campbell!
690
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,787
I love you.
691
00:23:44,823 --> 00:23:46,623
You know me.
I'm the Bulleit bitch.
692
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,964
[Campbell] This Booze Pixie
shit is awesome, by the way.
693
00:23:48,970 --> 00:23:50,460
It is.
694
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:52,051
You're the Booze,
I'm the Pixie.
695
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,800
It hurts because
that's very fair.
696
00:23:53,808 --> 00:23:55,468
[chuckles]
697
00:23:55,501 --> 00:23:57,221
Let's just go Vietnamese
and call it a day. Okay?
698
00:23:57,252 --> 00:23:58,552
Oh, yes.
You know what?
699
00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:00,137
Hi-Yan is so good.
700
00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:02,308
Then I can get soup,
and you can get not soup,
701
00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:05,061
and then we're both happy.
702
00:24:05,135 --> 00:24:06,475
-Okay.
-[cell phone buzzing]
703
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,147
Oh, thank God,
saved by the buzz.
704
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:10,306
I literally cannot
talk about you moving out.
705
00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:12,484
Hey, hey, Jamal,
how's it goin'?
706
00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:13,573
Hey, Jamal.
707
00:24:13,644 --> 00:24:15,654
[Jamal] Abby, um,
708
00:24:15,687 --> 00:24:17,237
can you come to my mom's?
709
00:24:17,314 --> 00:24:18,494
Yeah.
710
00:24:18,524 --> 00:24:20,244
Your dad...
711
00:24:20,317 --> 00:24:21,657
What happened?
712
00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,629
Your dad's in the ICU.
713
00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:29,219
["Fall Asleep"
by Big Joanie playing]
714
00:24:33,664 --> 00:24:35,264
♪ If I ever fall asleep now ♪
715
00:24:35,332 --> 00:24:37,512
♪ Would you ♪
716
00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:40,508
♪ Wake me from the dreamthat's kept me ♪
717
00:24:40,521 --> 00:24:43,011
♪ Crying now for weeks?
718
00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:44,518
♪ That's kept me ♪
719
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:47,675
♪ Crying now for weeks? ♪
720
00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:50,095
♪ If I ever fall asleep now ♪
721
00:24:50,138 --> 00:24:52,018
♪ Would you ♪
722
00:24:52,057 --> 00:24:54,687
♪ Wake me from the dreamthat's left me ♪
723
00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:56,862
♪ Shaking now for weeks? ♪
724
00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:58,355
♪ That's left me ♪
725
00:24:58,372 --> 00:25:01,122
♪ Shaking now for weeks? ♪
726
00:25:02,818 --> 00:25:04,838
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
727
00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:08,804
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
728
00:25:09,992 --> 00:25:12,182
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
729
00:25:13,370 --> 00:25:15,550
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
730
00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:19,376
♪ I want you to wake me up ♪
731
00:25:19,393 --> 00:25:23,053
♪ I want youto wake me up ♪
732
00:25:23,064 --> 00:25:26,224
♪ I want you to wake me up ♪
733
00:25:26,234 --> 00:25:29,734
♪ I want youto wake me up ♪
734
00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:32,697
♪ I want you to wake me up ♪
735
00:25:32,747 --> 00:25:37,297
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