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1
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,440
I'm sorry but I'm leaving home.
Where do you want to go?
2
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,080
I'm going to France.
3
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,240
Tom Fisher.
You've improved the view.
4
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,600
Oh, hello.
5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,240
Ah, Cedric Charlton,
6
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,160
I'm from the office
of the Inspector of Taxes.
7
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,760
Oh, yeah!
8
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:22,960
I'm afraid that I anticipate
9
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,800
that you may owe
a rather large sum in tax.
10
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,760
You need to fill out this form.
Form?
11
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,960
A yellow one. We've sent a few.
Ma, we had a form?
12
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,520
Never seen one. Sure we never.
No. Never had no form. Ma says so.
13
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:35,640
Come in, Mr Charlton.
14
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,480
Come in and help yourself, please.
15
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,760
It's an important form.
16
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,000
Can a form be important, really?
Mum!
17
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,360
Oh, thanks, Mariette.
18
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,640
In you come, Mr Charlton.
Come on, that's it.
19
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,200
Help yourself
to some fish and chips.
20
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,920
There's plenty, we buy spares.
21
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,480
Oh! Oh, no, no,
honestly, I've eaten.
22
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,080
A cup of tea? Coffee?
23
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,080
Oh, no. No, thanks.
What about a drink, then?
24
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,080
A bottle of beer?
Oh, no...
25
00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:00,040
A glass of port? Slurp of cider?
No, I...
26
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,080
What about a cocktail?
Ah, no. No, thank you.
27
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,840
Ah-ah! I'll do us a special.
HE CHUCKLES
28
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,720
Erm, ah, so, right, in terms
of your tax form, Mr Larkin...
29
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,400
Do you know anyone
who wants a kitten?
30
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,480
No. No. Ah, sorry.
As I was saying about the form...
31
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,640
So, do you want a kitten?
32
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,200
Well, my landlady
doesn't allow pets, to be honest...
33
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,520
Oh.
34
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,000
Erm, should I just
fill in the form for you
35
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,560
and then you can sign it?
No, no, no, don't worry about that,
36
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,880
there's plenty of time.
No rush at all.
37
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,400
There you go.
I...
38
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,720
No, no.
..don't drink.
39
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,320
No, no, I insist.
40
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,920
Cheers.
41
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,800
ALL: Cheers!
42
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,560
HE SLURPS AND GAGS
43
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,240
GOOSE HONKS
44
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,880
Oh!
45
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,040
What?
HONKS AGAIN
46
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,240
Well... that was decent.
47
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,720
More strawberry mousse, anyone?
It's all gone.
48
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:56,240
There you go.
Next up, a "Chauffeur." Oh.
49
00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,600
That is vermouth, whiskey, gin,
dribble of Angostura.
50
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,560
Erm... number of children?
51
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,480
Yep!
He's a sharp one.
52
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,640
Oh, ah, no, sorry,
what's the number of children?
53
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,280
QUIETLY: One, two, three,
four, five, six.
54
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:14,440
Ah, six. Six. No more?
Plenty of time, give us a chance.
55
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,680
MA LAUGHS
56
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,440
SHE BELCHES
Oh! Manners, pardon?
57
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,800
PA CHUCKLES
Wind all of a sudden, see?
58
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,400
Erm... I...
I must know your income, Mr Larkin.
59
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:27,840
Well, that's a good question.
60
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,640
What do you get?
Oh!
61
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,440
Erm... not much. Ha-ha.
62
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,400
Just give me a rough estimate.
63
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,880
Oh, we're lucky to clear a fiver.
Hm-mm.
64
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,600
Fiver! I'd like to see one.
65
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,320
Supposing, supposing I put down
an income of 500 a year...
66
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,560
Gorblimey!
Hundred weeks in a year now, Ma.
67
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,040
Milk?
Please.
68
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,640
Erm...
Yeah, that's just what I need.
69
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:50,600
Oh, goodness.
70
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,600
Ah, Mr Charlton, drop of milk?
71
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,080
Eases the kidneys, opens the bowels?
72
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,720
Oh, God, no!
No, no, no, no. No. God, no.
73
00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,720
Look, I need to get
the last train home.
74
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:00,760
You've missed it.
What?
75
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,160
You have to stay the night.
What?
76
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,280
Oh, I can't stay... No. I... I...
77
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,920
Well, I haven't got any pyjamas.
78
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,280
Well, I'll lend you mine.
Shush now.
79
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,040
Perfik. We'll make up a bed for you.
What about that?
80
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,880
And in the morning, you can persuade
our Mariette to stay around.
81
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,800
Where are you going?
France. After the summer.
82
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,080
Why?
To see the world.
83
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,120
HE COUGHS
84
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,160
Goodness!
85
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:37,720
That is great stuff.
Mm-mm!
86
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,840
So, ah... tax form, tax form,
tax form, tax form...
87
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,160
You should eat something
to absorb the alcohol.
88
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:47,040
Oh! Oh, no, I'm fine, I am fine.
I'm fine, thank you.
89
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,240
HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY
90
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,520
SNORING
91
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,320
OWL HOOTS
92
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,920
HE WHISTLES
93
00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,440
Morning, Libby.
Morning, Mr Larkin.
94
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,400
She's got a nice arse.
95
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,760
Your Mrs Fancy.
Um... Thank you...
96
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,920
Mr Larkin.
Edith.
97
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,320
Sir George.
98
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,040
Oh. Larkin.
And why the face?
99
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,160
That big, old pile
giving you more gip?
100
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,920
Well, ah... these old houses
do cause one or two headaches.
101
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,800
Yeah. You don't even live in it,
do you?
102
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,240
You're out there skulking
in the gamekeeper's cottage.
103
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,080
Yes, but...
That's not a home, Sir George,
104
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,120
it's an albatross.
I'll give you a good price.
105
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,120
Bluff Court is not for sale.
106
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,520
Nonetheless, tell your missus
I'll be popping over later.
107
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,600
But...
Ah-nah!
108
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:37,800
I...
Ah-ah! Ah!
109
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,120
Would you, please...
Ah! Sir George.
110
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,480
I can assure you...
Ah!
111
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,640
There is no...
Ah!
112
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,280
She'll...
HE CHUCKLES
113
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,120
There you are.
Thanks.
114
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,760
What do you think
of our Mr Charlton?
115
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:02,800
He talks too much about forms.
Not you. Mariette.
116
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,280
Well, he seems sweeter than most.
117
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,320
He likes you, you know.
118
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,760
Well, there's not much point
in that, is there?
119
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,800
With me on my way.
120
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,800
Hello, Ma.
There's my popsicle.
121
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,640
Did you get that sauce?
122
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,040
Have I got the sauce!
123
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,800
Saucy.
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho!
124
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,760
THEY SMOOCH LOUDLY
125
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,280
Is he up yet?
No. No?
126
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,800
Why is he on the snooker table?
127
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,440
Oh,
cos he said he liked the colour
128
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,080
and the big flatness,
as everything was spinning.
129
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,480
Montgomery...
130
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,960
ready for the Straw Man race
tomorrow? Yep.
131
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,680
Ah! I found this.
132
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,360
Oh, look!
133
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,240
Three times winners
before I filled out nicely.
134
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,200
Oh, yeah. Mm!
135
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,480
CEDRIC GROANS UPSTAIRS
Aye-aye.
136
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,920
Sounds like the taxman
needs a pick-me-up.
137
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,760
HE WINCES
138
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,440
SNOOKER BALL CLINKS
139
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,120
HE GROANS
140
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,320
Wanna hand?
141
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,680
HE GROANS
Oh, no.
142
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,440
No, I'm... quite capable of...
143
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,720
Oh!
THUD
144
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,760
HE GROANS
145
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,120
CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS
146
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,440
'OK. Right, get up now.
147
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:27,720
'Ready?
148
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,200
'Ooh! Ooh!'
149
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,960
Oh! Oh, God!
150
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,320
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
151
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,240
'Let's just get these off.
152
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,600
'Huh? Erm... Ooh!'
153
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,680
HE SHUDDERS
154
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,200
Sleep all right?
HE GASPS
155
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,440
Nice egg or two for breakfast?
156
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,480
Larkin special, hair of the dog?
157
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,440
Don't ask what's in it,
don't stare at it, just drink. No?
158
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,240
All right, I'll have it.
159
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,240
Sorry, what's the time?
160
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,160
Cock's been up for four hours.
161
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,240
No! No! No! Oh, God, no.
162
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,920
I must make a telephone call.
163
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,120
Well, use our blower.
164
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,480
No, no, I can't, I can't,
it's for official business only.
165
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,560
God, is there a, erm,
a... a... a telephone box?!
166
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,520
Right, OK...
167
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,680
HEAVY BREATHING
Thank you. Thank you...
168
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,240
I should be going to work,
I'm sorry.
169
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,520
Once I get those pyjamas off you.
What?
170
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,280
WHISPERS: Oh, my God.
171
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,560
HE SLURPS
172
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,360
Oh, God!
173
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,040
Mm, thank you.
See ya later.
174
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,600
COIN CLINKS
175
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,280
PHONE RINGS
176
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,400
HE EXHALES DEEPLY
177
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,760
Morning! Morning, Sir.
178
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,280
It's, ah... it's Cedric Charlton.
179
00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,040
I'm, ah... I'm down at the Larkin's,
as requested.
180
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,800
I'm a... I'm afraid I'm going to be
a little late in this morning.
181
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,280
You found some serious
irregularities, I trust?
182
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,640
'No, not really.'
183
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,040
I mean, he owes some tax,
184
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,440
but I hardly feel it warrants
any special attention...
185
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,000
COW MOOS
Oh!
186
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,520
'What?'
187
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:15,760
'Sorry, sir.'
188
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,320
Oh, there's a... erm...
189
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,680
So, I will just, erm,
190
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,200
I will just leave the forms
with Mr Larkin
191
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,920
and head into work immediately,
192
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,960
if that's all right?
193
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,280
No, you'll investigate him
to within an inch of his life,
194
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,400
as I told you.
Oh, really?
195
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,360
It's just that I have cases
of major fraud
196
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,400
which I think warrant
a little more attention.
197
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,080
Charlton,
unless you wish to be sacked,
198
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,480
don't return without evidence
199
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,880
of criminal tax evasion
by Sidney Larkin!
200
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,000
Yes. Yes.
201
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,280
Very good, sir.
PHONE CLICKS
202
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,320
PHONE DIAL WHIRS
203
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,720
PHONE RINGS
204
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,480
CLICK
Morning.
205
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,880
Right, my chap's down there,
and we'll make sure he gets his man.
206
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:57,920
Good.
207
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,440
Thank you, Jeffrey.
208
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,040
Nice to know that
persistent offenders are punished.
209
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,960
I recommend confiscating his farm,
in lieu of taxes.
210
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,040
CLICK, DING
211
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,320
HORSE HOOVES CLOPPING
212
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,240
ROOSTER CROWS
213
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,440
Shh, shh, shh.
214
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:32,840
Oh, there you are,
my little lemon drops.
215
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:37,800
Oh, Sandra, you've been
very generous this morning.
216
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,200
Oh, Montgomery.
217
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,880
I hope you're not gonna be
too disappointed tomorrow?
218
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,160
I won't be.
Well, you will be,
219
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,480
cos you've been waiting years
to be old enough
220
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,760
to be in this Straw Man race,
and you're not gonna win.
221
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,400
TWINS: Wee-hee-hee!
THUD
222
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,120
All right, twins?
223
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,280
Ah-ha. Mostly.
224
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,040
Why won't we?
Well, he's got little legs.
225
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,120
He'll be up against Pauline's
big, fit bloke
226
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,400
and all the other lads.
227
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,480
Right, now I really want to win.
You need a better pram. Come on.
228
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,640
You'll look after him, won't you?
229
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,720
Can someone else be in the pram,
please?
230
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,200
Well, there's no-one else
that's old enough.
231
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,720
It's a Larkin pram. Needs a Larkin.
232
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,600
Has the taxman gone?
Oh, I hope not.
233
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:22,000
He's gonna be good for Mariette.
He's not French enough.
234
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,800
And he's too nervy.
Spent too long in an office.
235
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,040
Sucks the life out of you.
236
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,080
Do we owe a lot of money in tax?
237
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,480
Oh!
Come on...
238
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,360
Oh!
..let's have another go!
239
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:36,160
I think pop and me
can handle Mr Charlton.
240
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,680
Don't you?
SHE CHUCKLES
241
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,240
There you go. That's it.
242
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,800
Hello, Cedric. You all right?
Mm-mm.
243
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,400
Do you know something?
I'm not liking your name.
244
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,840
Oh, then, call me Mr Charlton, sir.
No, no, no.
245
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,680
I'm not one for "mistering", either.
246
00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:01,080
Yeah, no. I tell you what,
I'll call you Charley.
247
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,480
Charley, that's better.
Yeah.
248
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,080
I've got left-over kippers,
want some?
249
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,520
I wouldn't.
Too much wire work in kippers!
250
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,320
HORSE SNORTS
251
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:13,520
Hello.
Hi, hello, hi.
252
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:14,760
Hi.
253
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,160
So, in terms of tax,
254
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,920
I need to look at your books
immediately.
255
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,000
That'll be tricky,
cos they're all in me head.
256
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,920
Erm, oh, well, I am opening
an investigation, and I, ah...
257
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,680
Well, I warn you,
it will be thorough.
258
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:33,600
So, you'll be stopping again
tonight, Charley, yeah?
259
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,520
Lovely! Use a bed this time.
Hmm.
260
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,560
Ah... Thank you,
but I will stay in the village.
261
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,440
Well, I don't know what you think
you'll be thoroughly investigating,
262
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,080
cos I'm just a simple man, Charley.
You know what I mean?
263
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,080
Scraping a living
off an unforgiving land.
264
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,680
Yeah, I mean, when was the last time
we had a holiday?
265
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,840
Never even been to Margate.
I hear there's a beach? Yeah?
266
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,040
Oh... Well, um...
267
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,720
Well, in absence of written figures,
I will, erm...
268
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,640
I will accompany you
on your working day
269
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,720
so as to properly assess
your earnings. Yeah.
270
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,280
Righteo. You do that.
271
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,360
I'll tag along,
if that's all right?
272
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,320
Hm-mm. Yeah.
273
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,800
I can't hear you breathing.
274
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,240
Oh, sorry, I...
I keep forgetting to.
275
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,560
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
276
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,160
Come on, then.
277
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,920
Watch it, girls.
278
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,400
Are you all right? Good.
279
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,720
Reg.
280
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,880
Have you got a room
for Charley here?
281
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,360
He's a bit nervy.
Ha-ha! He is, yeah.
282
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,280
Works in an office.
It's a nasty business.
283
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,200
Any pal of yours, Pop.
You're a good man. Half price.
284
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,680
Oh! No, no, I'll pay the full price,
thank you.
285
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,040
Blimey, someone who can afford
full price.
286
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,200
Oh, we dream of that.
Don't we, dad? Yeah. Yep.
287
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,840
All right, General.
Who's your friend, Larkin?
288
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,920
Oh, he's a taxman.
Salt of the earth.
289
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,640
Don't hold it against him.
Loves a drink.
290
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,240
He's very nervy.
Works in an office.
291
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,480
Mariette.
Pauline.
292
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:33,240
Who have you got here?
Friend of mine.
293
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,520
Hmm. Not bad.
294
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,040
Bit nervy.
295
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,520
I'll, um...
get Charley some aspirin, pop.
296
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,160
Hmm.
Come on.
297
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,840
Cheers, Reg.
Huh!
298
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,680
Lady Rose.
Oh, Mr Larkin!
299
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:11,280
My husband suggested
you might be dropping in.
300
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,720
Yes, I want to buy your house.
301
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,960
So I hear. Why?!
302
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,400
So I can pull it down.
303
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,200
What a fabulous idea.
Hmm.
304
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,160
What's it worth?
Oh, seven grand. Cash.
305
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,440
I mean, there's enough
bricks and scrap in there
306
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,520
to rebuild a town.
307
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:37,200
Plus, I'd share out the land
a bit more fairly, like, you know?
308
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,200
And, well, it'll stop
killing your old man, won't it?
309
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,520
Sadly, I can't see him
ever agreeing.
310
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,920
Oh, he will. If you back me up.
311
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,920
Call it seven, five,
give me the five,
312
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,000
and let's try to make it happen.
313
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,960
Now, get 'em down your throat
for Mariette.
314
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,200
Oh, yeah, well, I have
a narrow gullet, apparently, so...
315
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,120
It's two pills, not a whole trout.
316
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,680
Oh... Where's your father?
317
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,000
Oh, he must have been called away
to help someone.
318
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
I'll fill you in
about the family business.
319
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,560
Fancy a walk?
Oh.
320
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,760
HE SIGHS
MOUTHS: Oh, my...
321
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,160
So, your biggest
job for the race tomorrow
322
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,640
is to be as light as you can.
323
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,000
All right,
I'll just saw this arm off.
324
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,840
Just don't eat anything for a day.
325
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,800
I am not going to starve
for a stupid pram race!
326
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,440
It's not stupid!
327
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,080
It's the most important event
of the year!
328
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,280
This'll win it for us.
329
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,880
Hmph!
330
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,400
ROOSTER CROWS
331
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,480
It's a death trap.
Hmm?
332
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,360
I've just seen a rat
pack it's bag and move out.
333
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,400
It's too far gone even to rent out.
334
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,440
And, you've been patching up
that orange heap for 50 years.
335
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,160
Orangerie.
FRENCH ACCENT: Orangerie.
336
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,280
I'm still waiting for an orange!
Oh!
337
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,520
Sir George...
Hmm?
338
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,920
..who do you love most?
Apart from the wife, of course?
339
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,240
Oh... the Queen.
340
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,320
Oh!
341
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,840
Erm... no, no, erm...
Our daughter.
342
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,840
Uh... Rosemary.
343
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,360
And why doesn't she visit any more?
344
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,800
Because as soon as she arrives,
345
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,840
you set her to work
mending something.
346
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,480
You see, I'd do anything
to keep my family, I really would,
347
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,640
and selling this to me
is how you can do that. Yeah?
348
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,400
I mean, our Mariette,
she's wanting to leave home,
349
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,840
and, I... I promise,
it is breaking our hearts.
350
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,600
I mean, we could auction it, George,
351
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,560
but it would all go
in tax and commission...
352
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,480
Exactly!
Who are you preserving it for, man?
353
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,160
Life's to be enjoyed. Huh?
354
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,080
GLASS BREAKING
355
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,720
Look, I ought to be
with your father. Listen...
356
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,640
BIRDSONG
357
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,400
You don't hear that in your office.
358
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,640
No, we have Miss Randall's
gravelly humming.
359
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,560
SHE GIGGLES
360
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,920
Ah!
361
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,960
Right, I am very sweaty.
362
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,320
Well, you've got to cook a pig
before you can eat it.
363
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:27,520
Ah...
364
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:30,240
Oh! Sorry,
it's an old country saying.
365
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,680
Got a load of those.
366
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:32,920
Most don't make sense.
367
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,360
My goodness! Right,
I'm still wearing your pyjamas!
368
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:36,560
God, no wonder I'm so hot!
369
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,280
Well, you'll have to take them off.
370
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,240
Now?
Good a time as any.
371
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,600
Oh, erm...
372
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,960
Erm, I...
373
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,880
You don't have to hide in a bush.
374
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,440
I saw it all last night.
God!
375
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,800
Erm...
376
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,160
SHE GIGGLES
377
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,600
Oh! Nice bod.
378
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,760
You are nervy, though.
Yeah, you mentioned that.
379
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,040
SHE GIGGLES
380
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,720
Could I... Could I just, erm...
381
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,000
You are very beautiful!
382
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,200
Thanks. It's luck of the draw.
383
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,560
I don't just sit around
tossing my hair, though.
384
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,720
Do a proper job on the farm.
Erm, I'm sure.
385
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,960
You need all hands to the pump.
386
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,000
Pop's embarrassed
to say how little we make.
387
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,200
So, how come you're in the tax game?
388
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,760
Oh, well,
my parents came over from Nigeria
389
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,240
because they loved the British
sense of order and fair play,
390
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,280
and that includes paying your taxes.
391
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,080
Oh, yeah?
Yep.
392
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,200
Yeah, they actually applied
for the job for me.
393
00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,040
I'd, ah... I'd always
wanted to be a disc jockey.
394
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,880
Anyway, I do really
need to catch up with your father
395
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:04,920
and his tax affairs.
396
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,520
Oh, so,
come over for dinner tonight.
397
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,000
And don't forget my bottom.
What?
398
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,600
Oh! Oh.
SHE GIGGLES
399
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,360
You see, Ma, everyone wins.
400
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,480
Sir George gets his life back,
so does his missus,
401
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,160
plus, she gets a bit of cash
for herself.
402
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,480
Shot! Oh...
403
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,760
Oh, kisses the blue!
404
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:44,880
We earn a few bob,
405
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,440
plus the village gets
somewhere else to have a picnic.
406
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,040
There's a light lunch
in the billiard room, kids!
407
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,680
KIDS: Coming!
Half down in cash, no paperwork.
408
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,720
Hmm.
Come on, then.
409
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,800
MUMBLING: Oh, very good.
410
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,600
Hello, my little pumpkin.
What you getting?
411
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,160
A pie.
Don't forget to chew.
412
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,200
Hmm. Thank you. Mm...
413
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,760
Where'd you get the ackers?
The what?
414
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,320
The bloody lettuce, cash, keep-up?
415
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,800
Erm...
416
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,840
I'm, ah, not at liberty to say.
417
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,560
Do you want to be
banned from church?
418
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,560
I've sold Bluff Court.
419
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,760
At this school,
we believe in the three Rs.
420
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,120
I can't say who... ah, who to.
421
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,400
Shh, shh, shh!
422
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,800
Yeah... I really can't say it,
actually.
423
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,080
It's obviously Pop Larkin.
424
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,120
Who else could buy your house,
you posh cretin?
425
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,040
PHONE RINGS
426
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,840
CLICK
'Mr Alec Norman. Good day to you.'
427
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:59,480
This is Norma, Alec.
'Yes, I recognise your voice.'
428
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,080
I have news.
429
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,160
Let's go, let's go! Come on.
430
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,680
That's it. Give me some room.
431
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,000
All right, Pop.
Hello, treasure.
432
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,400
Old Charley boy's a sweetheart,
isn't he?
433
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,520
Specs and all, talks nice,
shows he's solid.
434
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,800
You got to take this serious, Dad.
He could close us down.
435
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,520
No, never. Never.
436
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,000
Well, I've invited him
for supper tonight.
437
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,040
What?
You said you liked him.
438
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,040
But Mariette,
it's like a fox in the henhouse!
439
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,920
I was planning on keeping him
at a distance,
440
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,000
till I get the deal done.
441
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,920
Well, no,
we've got to talk him through
442
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,120
how poor and honest we are.
All right, fine,
443
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,640
but just tell Ma to keep supper down
to one goose, then, yeah?
444
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,280
Right.
Right.
445
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,040
Don't eat it all, Bessie,
come on.
446
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,120
Saw that new Tom.
447
00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,760
Oh, yeah?
He's got tongues wagging.
448
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,120
Hmm.
Why?
449
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,000
Why, what?
450
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,240
Why do you mention him?
451
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,360
Well, why wouldn't I?
452
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,920
PIG SNORTS
453
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,480
HE SIGHS
454
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,840
DOOR KNOCK
455
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,160
Yes?
Mr Charlton?
456
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,120
Erm, yes. Hello.
457
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:25,800
Alec Norman. Concerned taxpayer.
458
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,200
Oh! And what concerns you?
459
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,840
Word is,
you're from the Inland Revenue.
460
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,040
I've heard about
a serious attempt
461
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,840
to circumvent our tax laws.
462
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,240
Ah, I'm sorry, I was just about
to go out for supper, actually.
463
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,600
It concerns Mr Larkin. Know him?
464
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,360
Yes, I do.
465
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,800
Today, he paid
several thousand pounds in cash
466
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,800
to secure a local mansion.
467
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,920
Are you sure?
468
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,080
He has a very large,
469
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,440
and if I do say them myself,
attractive, family to support.
470
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,080
He owns a Rolls-Royce.
471
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,240
He said he was looking after it
for a friend.
472
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,560
This may come as a shock,
473
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,880
but people like Larkin
don't always tell the truth.
474
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:07,040
He's a wide boy and a leech.
Well, if he is, I'll find out.
475
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,600
I'm taking an audit
of his financial affairs.
476
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,320
So, where were you today
when he was doing his shady deal?
477
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,320
Oh, I was, ah...
478
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,960
DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS
479
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,520
I was, erm...
480
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,760
Hello?
Sorry?
481
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,640
I'm told you were out
with Larkin's daughter, Mariette.
482
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,560
Oh, ah, well... Ah, was I?
483
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,440
You might ask yourself
if she was there
484
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,320
to distract you from your purpose.
485
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,520
DOOR CLOSES
486
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,440
ROOSTER CROWS
487
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,200
Whee!
488
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,600
Bumps, hold on!
489
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,160
All right, Charley.
Hello! Hello!
490
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,960
Oh!
491
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,600
Oh, no.
492
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,560
Ahh!
493
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,000
CRASH
494
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,480
All right?
495
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,520
I'm all right.
Ow!
496
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,240
Oh, never mind you, how's the pram?
497
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,680
Oh, Charley boy, come in!
498
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,480
Mariette!
Oh, we killed a goose for you.
499
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,360
Yeah, only the one,
it's all we could afford.
500
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:27,920
Yeah, Primrose did it,
she loves a bit of goose strangling.
501
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,560
Loves it.
I'm afraid I'm not staying.
502
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,200
Look, I know about your purchase
of the property Bluff Court.
503
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:37,560
You paid in cash, covertly,
to avoid tax and charges.
504
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,920
Yeah, yeah, but Charley, look,
if Her Majesty is prepared
505
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,520
to put her special face
on them notes,
506
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:42,680
who are we not to use them?
507
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,960
And, you kept me entertained
508
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,760
while your father
concluded his deal.
509
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,480
Let's talk about it inside.
510
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,360
Yeah, you must think
I'm a complete idiot.
511
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,320
No. Partial, at best.
512
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:56,840
I'm returning your bottom.
513
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,200
Oh, no, look, wait a minute,
look, Charley...
514
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,080
My tax investigations
are not yet concluded,
515
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,280
so I will see you tomorrow.
516
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:26,320
Well, this is peculiar.
What?
517
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,520
It's all gone a bit flat-chested
since the taxman showed up, eh?
518
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,680
No thanks, Montgomery.
519
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,440
Why's Mr Charlton picking on us?
520
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,280
Fair to say, we have never rushed
to pay tax.
521
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,880
Everyone's like you, aren't they?
Why'd he come calling on us?
522
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,360
Good question.
523
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:46,960
Just to warn you,
everyone isn't like Pop and Ma.
524
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,600
I'm disappointed in Mr Charlton.
525
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,040
Well, no, no, Mariette.
He's all right.
526
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,360
His job's got him by the neck,
is all. Eating him alive.
527
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,640
Yeah, but if he knew you,
he wouldn't be so snotty.
528
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,000
Well...
529
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,720
I'm going for a walk.
530
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,520
Yeah, all right, love.
531
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,800
He can't treat you like this, Pop.
532
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,720
Anyway, moping never buttered
no parsnips, did it, eh?
533
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,640
Victoria, nice work
with the perambulator as well.
534
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,800
What are you doing?
535
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,520
Er, I told you not to eat.
Before the race tomorrow.
536
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,200
I've got to push ya.
537
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,960
Monty!
538
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,920
Ma! Put the spuds down!
539
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,280
Oh, no...
540
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,800
No, no!
541
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,200
What are you doing?
542
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,240
How dare you?
543
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,200
Hey, hey, hey, Primrose, come on.
544
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,400
You two, pack it in, come on.
Kiss and make up.
545
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,000
No! I'm not doing his
Straw Man Race tomorrow.
546
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:41,080
I'm supposed to be the brainy
Larkin, and I'll look fatuous!
547
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,560
You won't!
548
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,640
Look what?
549
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,680
Hmm!
550
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,240
Well, you have to do it.
I asked everyone else.
551
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,240
Hmm, so good!
552
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,160
I'll do it.
You can't, Victoria.
553
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,320
Babies have to be 15 and up.
554
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,520
Montgomery,
I'll go in your pram for you.
555
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,560
All right?
I'm as light as a feather.
556
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,760
And look, I can pass for a girl.
Hello.
557
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,720
LAUGHTER
558
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,040
Come on, it'll be all right.
Come on, tuck in.
559
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,480
LAUGHTER
I'm gonna spill it!
560
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,000
Course I'll win again.
Won't we, baby doll?
561
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,040
Eh, Pauline?!
562
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,680
THEY LAUGH
563
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,320
I need to get a new boyfriend.
564
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,120
Not pushing a pram tomorrow, Alec?
565
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:23,680
No. I value my dignity.
566
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:28,080
Except I heard the Larkins showed
you up at the May Day Fair.
567
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,680
I don't know what you mean.
568
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,720
Montgomery Larkin did a painting,
569
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,840
you thought it was a Turner,
and paid a fortune for it.
570
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,880
I take no pleasure...
571
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,560
HE GIGGLES
..reminding you.
572
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,160
SHE GIGGLES
573
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,800
Talk of the Devil's sister.
574
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,440
Evening, then, lads.
575
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,480
Hi.
576
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,680
Er... Could I take you out dancing?
577
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,080
Thanks, Dudley.
578
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,360
You've been asking me since
we were eight. It's still a no.
579
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,320
Pauline.
580
00:27:58,320 --> 00:27:59,520
Mariette.
581
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,160
Have you seen Mr Charlton?
582
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:05,160
Reckon he's in his room.
He don't seem too happy.
583
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,200
He's a taxman, in't he?
Where's the joy in that?
584
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,800
He and I had a good chat.
585
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,400
He's got it in for your father,
hasn't he?
586
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,680
Looks like your family's in trouble.
587
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,240
What do you think you're doing?!
588
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,800
Me?
Well, apart from anything,
589
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,320
you've been blabbing my pop's
business around to everyone.
590
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,000
Alec Norman is down there gloating.
591
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,520
Well, no, he told me,
not the other way around.
592
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,200
It's you who's playing me
for a fool.
593
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:34,840
No, I was just protecting Dad.
594
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,360
Well, maybe you shouldn't.
He and Ma are good people.
595
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,960
And you ruined supper tonight.
Nobody could manage seconds.
596
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,160
Except Primrose and Montgomery.
And Ma and the twins.
597
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,120
Well, you all eat and drink
like lunatics,
598
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:46,680
so a night off
might do you some good.
599
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,720
If we enjoy food and drink,
600
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,480
and generally spending,
especially Pop,
601
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,520
it's because he doesn't hoard money,
he enjoys sharing it around.
602
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,080
Well, no, no, he doesn't share it!
603
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,520
Where do you think the family
allowances, pensions,
604
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:58,600
and sick pay come from?
605
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,120
From taxes paid by people
other than your pop!
606
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,200
Argh!
607
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,160
Nice evening for it.
608
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,240
What in God's name are you doing?
609
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,480
Oh, this? It's... running.
610
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,000
Why?
Erm... It's healthy.
611
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,880
Meditative. Beautiful.
612
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,280
Ah... Yes, it is.
613
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,640
You seem twitchy.
Let me run you home.
614
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,320
No, I don't run.
615
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,200
Unless I'm escaping from a bull.
616
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,840
I meant in my car.
617
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,880
Oh... Er, thanks.
618
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,400
I need the fresh air,
to clear my head.
619
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,280
I could put you on my shoulders.
620
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,320
I'd actually love to do that.
621
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:51,760
I bet you would.
622
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,480
Good night.
623
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,400
Precious cargo like you,
I'm really unlikely to drop you.
624
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,680
I feel a bit funny.
625
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,520
Hmm. Go on, then.
626
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,680
Hmm? No.
627
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,200
The other funny. Here, in my belly.
628
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,840
Oh, me, too.
629
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,280
Might be indigestion.
You hear about that, don't you?
630
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,960
I've never had it in my life, Ma,
and I'm not starting now.
631
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,120
No.
632
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,160
Old Charlie.
633
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,240
He's got a point.
634
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,840
I don't like the way
he was looking at me.
635
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,160
Oh, we do our bit.
We can hold our heads up.
636
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,480
I'll take your mind off it.
637
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,960
Blimey, that's a first!
638
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,280
The whippet's usually
straight out the trap.
639
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,920
Yeah, well, he's curled up
and going nowhere.
640
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,680
COCKEREL CROWS
641
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,040
Ignore him.
642
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,240
All right there, sir?
643
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,360
Oh, yes, thank you.
644
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,240
Have you enjoyed your stay?
645
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,440
Erm... If I'm honest, no.
646
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,000
Oh, I bet you wish
you'd only paid half price, then?
647
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,760
No, I don't.
648
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,680
Not if it meant benefiting
from Mr Larkin's discount.
649
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,680
On second thoughts,
you can't have the toast.
650
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,400
Good morning, Mr Charlton.
Brigadier Chand.
651
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,960
Edith Pilchester. Miss.
652
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,320
We'd like some tax advice.
653
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,000
We pay none,
and you seem to be on the warpath.
654
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,920
Ah, I was actually
just about to leave.
655
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,800
But perhaps you'd like
to write to me at, erm...
656
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,760
HE SIGHS
657
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,680
Shall we find a tree to sit under?
658
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:48,120
Girls, go and cheer Pop up.
659
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,800
BOTH: We'll get our recorders!
660
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,160
THEY GIGGLE
661
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,960
You're not local, Mr Charlton?
662
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,720
No, no, I live in Catford.
Do you know it?
663
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,000
No, but it sounds charming.
Delightful.
664
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,760
We find it very lovely here.
665
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,600
Yes, it is.
666
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,320
In so many ways.
667
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,440
Well, out in the British Army
in India,
668
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,160
I said to my sister, "We should
retire to an English village."
669
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:12,640
I've never regretted it.
670
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,520
She has, though.
Oh, she hates it.
671
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,080
Finds it absolutely ghastly.
672
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:20,120
Ooh, so, you're here to see
our wonderful Mr Larkin.
673
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,240
Yes, well, I...
I don't share your admiration.
674
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,720
You don't know him.
675
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,680
Saved my bacon on a number
of occasions.
676
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,400
And mine. Exceedingly generous.
677
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,320
And a picture of physical
perfection, of course.
678
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,480
I'm on a small pension.
679
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,120
And Edith survives
on very limited investments.
680
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,160
Yes, you seem to be living on...
681
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,360
A pound a week.
That much?
682
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,840
I'm sure Catford is a lap of luxury,
683
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,960
but many of us in the countryside
live on the breadline.
684
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,240
But what if you have a big expense?
685
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,120
Mr Larkin often kindly pays.
686
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,400
Also for village gymkhanas.
687
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,520
Barn dances.
The Cheese Hoedown.
688
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,360
Sheep Week. Archery in the village
hall, until the accident.
689
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:00,640
Pop always puts his hand
in his pocket.
690
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:01,880
Yes...
691
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:06,440
My sister and some others resent him
cos nobody likes to be beholden.
692
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,120
But he never takes advantage.
693
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:11,000
WHEELBARROW PASSES
694
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,200
Do stay for the Straw Man Race.
695
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,080
Mr Larkin pays for the beer.
696
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,040
HE CHUCKLES
697
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,880
What's this, the gathering
of the poor and needy?
698
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,640
I trust you nailed our man,
Charlton?
699
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,280
Your boss will want your neck,
won't he?
700
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,920
Then you'll all be on skid row.
701
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,040
ENGINE ROARS, TYRES SCREECH
702
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,680
Perhaps I will stay.
703
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:56,880
THEY PLAY TUNELESSLY
704
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,080
There she blows.
705
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,520
Oh, that's orchestra quality,
that, isn't it?
706
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,280
There's no stopping you two.
707
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,920
Oh, you're dancing as well. Lovely.
708
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,760
THEY CONTINUE PLAYING
709
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,920
Wow...
710
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:34,400
I, er... I owe you an apology.
711
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,440
Oh, don't be so daft.
712
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:37,760
But go on.
713
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,120
Well,
you still have sizeable arrears.
714
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,800
You're not wrong.
Cheeky!
715
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:46,520
And you may have to sell all
or part of the farm.
716
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:51,160
But I think I understand now
how you work. How's that?
717
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:52,960
You clearly give away more off
your own back
718
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,360
than you'd ever have to pay in tax.
719
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:55,680
But who's counted?
720
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:56,960
So, the good news is
721
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,440
that you can actually offset
your charitable donations
722
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,480
and reduce your year-on-year
liabilities
723
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,400
whilst compartmentalising
your emoluments.
724
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,560
And I can help you with that.
725
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:12,640
Ooh... Your Alec Norman
obviously does not like you.
726
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,640
And I'm pretty sure he's told
my boss to give you a hard time.
727
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,680
So you can call the dogs off now?
No.
728
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,480
I still have to investigate
any irregularities.
729
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,760
I'm sorry, it's my job.
730
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,680
Then get a better job.
731
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,640
I have thought...
Hello!
732
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,680
Hello, Aunt Fan.
733
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:29,720
Montgomery!
734
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:33,520
Your new baby's arrived.
735
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,600
Sorry for lateness.
I couldn't find my nappy.
736
00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:42,640
Right, then. Go on, off you go.
737
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:46,760
Montgomery, remember,
you're drinking squash, not beer.
738
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,320
And watch out for that vicar,
he's a cheater.
739
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,760
And I don't mean that
speedy leopard thing.
740
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,160
Come on, kids.
741
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,400
Come and show Aunt Fan the pram.
742
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:02,920
Aw, that's good.
743
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,800
I'm sorry.
It's OK.
744
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,960
Also good.
745
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,920
Better and better.
746
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,880
SHE SIGHS
747
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:23,400
But that won't do.
748
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,920
This isn't you,
moping around the shop.
749
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,360
You reckon?
Nah.
750
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,840
Are you gonna rouse yourself
and save our farm,
751
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:37,640
or carry on sitting there
like a narky old goat?
752
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,480
And welcome
to this year's Straw Man Race.
753
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,000
I'm Johnny Delamere.
754
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,640
APPLAUSE
Too kind.
755
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,520
Oi, Vicar. The minimum baby age
is 15. You're cheating.
756
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:14,920
Shut your face.
757
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,600
And never has the phrase
"beautiful baby" been so apt.
758
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,840
Except in one or two cases.
759
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,240
What did he say?
760
00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:24,760
The straw reminds me
of when I played the Scarecrow
761
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,560
in Wizard at Woking Rec.
762
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,840
The Tin Man lit a fag in the wings
and set fire to me.
763
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,880
Onto the stage I went,
smouldering and burning,
764
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,960
until Toto, bless him, cocked
his leg on me, and all was well.
765
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,080
Well, I hope that doesn't happen
again today.
766
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,000
Lost your nervy fella, Mariette.
767
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,440
Looks like it.
768
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,600
And so, to recap the rules,
769
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,240
every straw man must visit
each of the village's seven pubs,
770
00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,240
and imbibe half a pint of ale.
771
00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:55,280
Hello, Miss Pilchester.
Is Mr Larkin here?
772
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:56,720
He never misses a do.
773
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,280
No, he's got a lot on.
774
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,600
On your marks, get set,
775
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,680
gooooooooo...
776
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:03,960
Now!
777
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,000
CHEERING AND SHOUTING
778
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,400
WHOA!
779
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,160
Ha! We've had an early faller!
780
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,360
Ah, hello, Alec.
781
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,440
I'm in a spot of bother. Wondered
if I could have a little chinwag.
782
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:39,160
Oh, Lord, God of vengeance,
shine forth!
783
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,480
All right, calm down!
784
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:42,720
Ah!
785
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,360
SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
786
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,320
Yee-ha!
787
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,360
There we go.
Come on, come on!
788
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,680
Well done. On your way.
789
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,000
Honest truth,
you've got me bang to rights.
790
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:43,440
And who can blame you for ratting
on me to the Inland Revenue?
791
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,120
It's all you deserve, frankly.
792
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,880
Over the years, you've treated me
with an utter lack of respect.
793
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,120
If you say so.
794
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,120
And credit where it's due, you've
got an old mucker in the tax office,
795
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,200
and you've sat on him
to do what you want to do.
796
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,600
I wouldn't say sat on, but anyway,
good luck finding all that back tax.
797
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,160
But, Alec, you see,
you're in business, like myself.
798
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:04,040
But you blew the whistle on me,
so you must be squeaky, right?
799
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,160
Squeaky?
800
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:06,280
Yeah, squeaky clean.
801
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,560
Yes, I am.
802
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,160
And paid the tax on everything
that you should have?
803
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,480
Like, for instance,
your housekeeper Janet?
804
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,120
I mean, you've paid her
employment stamp, yeah? Well...
805
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:16,920
And you didn't fiddle
the purchase tax
806
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,920
on that lovely red lady runaround
you've got?
807
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,480
It's a high-performance sports car.
808
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,360
Or forget to declare the rental
809
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,400
on your dead mum-in-law's house
in Ramsgate?
810
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,120
Or other bits of cash you've got
coming in from this and that?
811
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:28,680
Well, you'll never know, will you?
812
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,120
Because you don't have access
to my financial affairs.
813
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,400
Or do I?
814
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,200
Or do I?!
815
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:41,320
OR DO I?!
816
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:42,880
Yes.
817
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:44,640
Mr Alec Norman,
818
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,120
by the powers invested in me
by Her Majesty's Revenue,
819
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,960
I shall look
into your bank statements,
820
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,920
and other papers, and what not,
821
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,960
and we shall... We will see.
822
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,000
Don't be ridiculous.
823
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,640
All right,
I will mention to your boss,
824
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,200
with whom, yes, I happen to have
been at school with,
825
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,840
that I may have been hasty
in suggesting that...
826
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:12,360
Let me stop you there.
Listen, it was only a bit of fun.
827
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,720
Let me stop you there.
828
00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:18,320
Because there's more important
things than talking to you.
829
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,160
E-E-Exactly.
830
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:27,400
VOMITING
831
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,880
SMASH
832
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,360
I hope Montgomery
isn't too disappointed.
833
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,240
CHEERING
834
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:43,360
You cheating swine!
835
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,640
And here they come,
they've had a bit of a skinful,
836
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,320
so won't be making much sense.
837
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,240
You did it, Monty! You do care
about your little brother after all.
838
00:42:50,240 --> 00:42:51,320
No, I don't.
839
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,600
How's my girls? You all right?
840
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,800
Dad, where's Charlie?
841
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:02,360
Oh, no, look out!
842
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:03,440
Huh?
843
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,600
Oh, sorry, sorry.
844
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,560
VICAR'S WHEEL RATTLES
Oh, no, no! Bugger!
845
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,800
It's so English, I could cry.
846
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,640
Go on, Monty!
Go on, go on!
847
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,680
CHEERING
848
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:24,520
And we have the winner!
849
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:28,840
Nice young chap,
pushing one of the older babies.
850
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,600
We did it!
Well done!
851
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,240
Fantastic.
852
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:37,640
HE GROANS
853
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:41,400
Argh!
854
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,160
Are you hurt?
Oh, no.
855
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,280
HE WINCES
No.
856
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,520
I'll just deal
with this broken leg later (!)
857
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,200
Mariette, I am so sorry.
858
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,840
I have brought nothing but
disruption to you and your family.
859
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,920
We haven't made your life
easy either.
860
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,640
Don't rush past town,
861
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,960
if you fancy staying with us
for a while?
862
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:03,360
Yeah.
863
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,920
Yeah, I would love to.
864
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,200
Er...
865
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,760
CLAPPING
866
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,640
Well done, you Larkins.
867
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:12,720
Oh, ta. Well, with legs like yours,
you'll win it next year.
868
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:14,800
Maybe with you in my pram?
869
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,520
Oh, sorry. Charlie, Tom.
870
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:18,640
Tom, Charlie.
871
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,000
Oh, hi.
872
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,840
Nice suit.
873
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:23,640
Oh, thank you.
874
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,040
Actually, I meant him over there.
875
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:27,640
Oh, right...
876
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:32,760
Heh, I...
877
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,520
I sense you're not very good
at small talk?
878
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,400
No, no, I'm good at everything.
879
00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:40,560
Right...
880
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,680
It's all a bit well-behaved this
year, in't it? Hmm.
881
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:46,560
HE GULPS
882
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,560
Let me find an atheist
to be sick on.
883
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,360
HE VOMITS
884
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,360
It's not pretty,
but it is tradition.
885
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,440
Turned out all right today,
then, Ma.
886
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,360
I'd say so.
887
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,920
Mr Charlton's joining us at home.
888
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,200
Is he? Primrose!
889
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,360
I need you to strangle
another goose.
890
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,280
You should be proud, Primrose.
891
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,840
In the classical heritage,
892
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:21,880
killing what you eat is often
seen as the rarest of compliments.
893
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:23,520
He's a smart one.
894
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:27,200
Is it me, Charlie,
or are you looking a bit less nervy?
895
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:30,760
Someone with your nous would be
quite an asset round these parts.
896
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,280
Larkin.
Eh?
897
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,360
We need a word.
898
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,160
Right, what you got?
899
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:40,840
I'm afraid we've decided
not to sell our house to you.
900
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,320
Your down payment.
901
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,520
It's all there.
902
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:47,200
So, what's all this about, then?
903
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:48,840
We've had a better offer.
904
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:50,880
Who from?
Tom Fisher.
905
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:56,240
Rather than knock it down,
he's turning it into a lovely hotel.
906
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,320
Right, then. Who's starving?
907
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,560
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908
00:46:13,610 --> 00:46:18,160
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