All language subtitles for Nicky Deuce (2013) Nickelodeon 720p WEBRip X264 Solar

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- There are two kinds of people
in this world:

cool people who do cool things
and have cool names

like Johnny Gorgeous.

And people who watch movies
about cool people named
Johnny Gorgeous.

That's me,
Nicholas Borelli the Second,

and I'm going to be spending
my summer at math camp.

- This is great for you,
Nicholas. Really. Vanderton will

give you an opportunity to break
out of your shell for once.

- I don't want to break out
of my shell.

- Of course you don't. Otherwise

you'd finally come with me to
extreme camp this summer. Unh!

- Look, I like my shell, OK?
It keeps me safe and... and dry.

Hey, where would turtles be
without their shells, huh?

- They'd be awesome lizards!

You gotta man up.
Be less... Nicholas.

More... Johnny Gorgeous.
Look at him!

Do you think he cares
about turtles? No way.

(siren and gunshots)

(laughing)

- You're late!

- I had business.

- What kind of business?
- You're looking at

a made guy, Lorraine.
- Oh, Johnny.

I'm so proud of ya.

- It's all diamonds and
champagne from here, Lorraine.

- Johnny Gorgeous is

exciting and dangerous.
Girls love that stuff.

- Look, Josh, I do just fine
in the lady department,

all right?
- Yeah, this coming

from the guy who went
to Winter Formal with his mom.

- She's a good dancer, OK?

I'll admit, no one was gonna
confuse me for Johnny Gorgeous.

But I didn't exactly come

from an exciting neighborhood,
or exciting parents.

My dad is a germaphobe.

- Really rub that in, Nicholas.
That's it,

burn those little germs!

- And my mom can actually remove
the flavor from food.

- Voila! Organic turkey,

gluten-free brown rice,
with brown gravy.

- But they meant well,
and that was just fine that

the only adventure I got came
from our backyard vacations.

- Here we are in the tropics
without having

to go anywhere!
- Then came the call that set

everything into motion.
- Hello.

Yes, Mr. Johnson.
Of course, Mr. Johnson.

Goodbye, Mr. Johnson.
- Who was that?

- That was Mr. Johnson.
You and I are going

to Papua New Guinea next week--

for a work seminar!
- Well, what about Nicholas?

- Yep, my comfortably
predictable world was about

to get turned on its head,

and turned into the adventure
of a lifetime.

Pretty soon, this shy, awkward
kid from the suburbs

named Nicholas Borelli
the Second would become...

(buzzing)

(glass shattering)

(bubbling and creaking)

- Oh?

- (PA): We have a code red...
- It's awful.

They have to replace all the
plumbing, so math camp is

cancelled. They shut down
every single bathroom--

- [Try to stay calm, son.]
We can't get you out here
for at least a week.

- So what am I gonna do?

- Look, your mother and I have
called everyone we could

[possibly call to help.]
and Nana was busted trying
to sneak extra pudding

[again, so she lost
visitor privileges.]

- Oh, Nana. So...?

- You're going to your other
grandmother's.

- I've never met
another grandmother.

- Don't be ridiculous.
You met her.

- No, I didn't.
[You don't forget
a thing like that.]

- Look, Nicholas.
My family is, um...

[Well, it's a long story.]

But now... I have no choice.

- Where are you sending me?
- [Just take down this address:]

[8831 16th Ave.,
Bensonhurst, Brooklyn.]

- While you're there, be
a good boy. But don't eat any
of the food! It's all poison!

- [Just lock yourself
in your room. And, Nicholas,]

stay as far away from
your Uncle Frankie as possible.

- I have an uncle?!
- [Yes.]

And he's a blight on society!
He's no good!

[He's a blight!]

We'll call you soon.

(truck horn)

(siren)

(vehicles honking)

(siren)
(fire truck horn)

(bicycle bell)

(glass shattering)
(dog barking)

(kids laughing)

- Ah!

- It's the feds!
(kids screaming)
- No, that's not--

- Good luck, kid.
You're gonna need it.

- Please don't leave me here!
You can't do that! OK.

(man speaking Italian)

- What country is this?

- (girl): You need help, kid?
You look new.

- Yeah, you could say tha--

Whoa.
- Uh, well, welcome.

I'm Donna.

- I'm... heh, I'm Nicholas.

Borelli the Second.

- Nicholas.
I like that.

Let me give you a five-cent tour
of the neighborhood.

- Oh, yeah, that'd be...
that'd be helpful.

- No problem. I hate
seein' people look lost.
It just makes 'em look stupid.

- Yeah.
- OK, so, if you're ever hungry,

there's only one place to go:
Salvino's Pizzeria.

It's the greatest slices
in Brooklyn,

I swear on my mother's life--
and I love my mother.
You love your mother?

Of course you love your mother-
you're Italian.

Uh, blazer boy, you might
wanna turn around.

- My stuff!

- Hey, jerks, get lost!
(kids laughing)

See you around, kid.

- Yeah.

Um, excuse me?

Wow, OK. Uh, yeah,
you're impressively tall.

Chance of nose
being broken: 100%.

- Rocco Caparelli,
you'd better think

twice about what
you're gonna do next.

- Yes, Mrs. Borelli.

- Benvenuto a Brooklyn,
Nicholas!

- Uh, Grandma?

- Yeah, but call me Tutti.
Grandma sounds like

I already got a foot
in the grave.

You look just like
your Grandpa Aldo!

God rest. Hey, come on.

Let's get you upstairs
and get you fed.

Ooh, I'm so excited
you're here!

I've set you up
in your father's old room.

Oh, Nicholas. It's so nice
to see you in person.

Those videos your mom sends
don't do you justice.
- What videos?

- Your uncle and I just
love them,

especially the Math Boy video.
You look

so adorable in tights.

(Italian music playing)

- Wow.

- What, you never been
in a kitchen before?

- Not like this.
We mostly eat gluten-free,

fat-free health foods
at home.

- Il mio dio del cielo.

- Mom's cooking's not THAT bad,
once you get used

to the texture...
and how chewy it all--

Mm!
- How does it taste?

- Aw! Ho-ho!

- Your pop, my Nick, he loved

my meatballs. Hey!

Only one before dinner.
You go wash up.

(singing in Italian)

(squeaky toy)

- All right, kid,

you got to the count of three
to explain who you are.

- Uh...
- One... two...

- A toilet exploded, math camp
cancelled, Nana pudding, I'm
Nicholas Borelli the Second.

- Three!

Sorry, I dropped this.

Relax, kid. I'm just messing
with ya. I know who you are.
I'm your Uncle Frankie.

Your pops ever talk about me?
- Yeah,

he mentioned you for the first
time about an hour ago.

He, uh, said that you're
"a blight on society".

- That sounds like Big Nick
all right.

- Can I go? I'm pretty sure
I need to change my underwear.

- First you gotta come over here
and give your uncle a big hug.

Come on. A big hug.

- O-OK.

- What's a matter with you?
Trying to hug me while I'm
in the tub. Who does that?

- But you said I should hug you.
- I'm just kiddin' ya, Nicholas.

Man, you gotta relax. You're too
high-strung. Now come over here,

gimme a hug.

How many times
do I gotta tell ya?!

You don't hug a man
while he's taking a bath.

Now get outta here! Go on.
- OK.

(chuckling)
(passing gas)

Well,

I really do look
like my Grandpa Aldo.

(phone ringing)

(phone ringing)

Ah! Ah!

- What do you think
you're doin'?

- I... I thought it...
I thought it was my parents.

My word, you're... pink.
- Don't you ever answer
this phone.

This is a business phone,
and this phone ain't
your business.

Capiche? Understand?

- I'm assuming "capiche" means
"understand," so...
so, yes, sir,

I-I capiche.

- Yo.

Yeah. Just gettin' ready. Relax.

I got it all right here.

Another big pickup
at 2am tonight.

Fuggetaboutit.

- He actually said
"fuggetaboutit,"

[Josh. Can you believe that?]
- Of course he talks that way.

You know why?
Because your uncle's in the mob!

He's a wise guy, a made man!

[I'm so jealous!]

My Uncle's a milkman. A milkman!
I mean, who still does that?

- No way. I mean, my Uncle
Frankie's not in the mob.

- Sure, because guys who aren't
in the mob always carry around
rolls of cash in duffel bags.

[Come on, man!]
This is straight
out of Johnny Gorgeous!

- Maybe he's a banker.
- A banker? Really?

Is that why you called me
all freaked out?

- I don't know what to do, Josh.
I'm out of my element here.

- That's good! Maybe you'll
actually have some fun

[for a change! Listen,]
just relax, enjoy Brooklyn,

and try really hard
not to get yourself killed.

- Thanks, thanks.
You've been a tremendous help.

- No problem, buddy.

Woo!
(crash!)

Ah! Ah! Ah! My arm!

(vehicle honking)

- (Nicholas' dad): He's a blight
on society! He's no good!
He's a blight!

- Ah! Oof!

(car starting and driving away)

- (radio): Early this morning,
a shipping warehouse was
broken into.

Among the items stolen were
various television sets,
medical supplies,

and fencing material
used to keep horses still

- Good morning, Tutti.
- Nicholas, buongiorno!

Sit! Eat!
- This is the fight such

robbery in recent weeks,
the criminals still at large.

- Can you believe it?
It's pazzo. Crazy.

- It's a crying shame, ain't it?

- I hope those creeps pay.
- Yeah.

Me too.

All right, I'm gonna
take a shower,

then you and I are gonna take
a walk, Nicholas.

- You know, I actually have some
clothes that need unpacking and
pants that need-- Yep! Yep!

Let's walk. Let's stretch
the ol' walkin' sticks.

Ow! Ah. OK. I'm sorry.

- (Frankie): Nicholas,
this is Bensonhurst, the
greatest place in the world.

- Hi, Mr. Borelli.
- Hey, girls.

- Hey, Frankie. What's up?
- How you doin', my man?
Good to see ya.

That there is Hot Towel
Harry's--best straight shave
in all of Brooklyn.

Over there is Sallie Stitches.
Nobody cuts a suit like
Sallie Stitches.

Hey, uh, Nicholas,

does Mario Perrino go
to your math camp?

- No. A bunch of kids stole some
of my stuff when I got here.

- No, they didn't. Hey, Perrino!

Gimme the jacket!
- I found it!

- Yeah, guess what else
you're about to find?

Oh, pleasure to meet you,
Nicholas Borelli. Let's go.

Come on! Hurry up.

Who else?

Come on, give it up!
Come on!

All o' ya, come on!

Come on. Gimme that.

I see anybody harassing
my nephew here,

and they got trouble with me.
Now beat it!

I don't like people
messin' with my family.

This, my friend,
is the Farinelli Bakery.

They got a cannoli here
you'd kill for--

hypothetically speakin',
of course.

Hey, Donna. How's that TV
working out for your ma?

- Real good, Mr. Borelli.
She said to say--

Oh, hey. New kid.

- You guys, uh,
know each other?

- Uh, yeah, uh, I met her
when I got dropped off.

- Not a bad first person
to meet, huh?
- Ow.

- She's a pretty girl, right?

- Dude.

(Nicholas chuckles awkwardly.)
See ya.

- How you doing, guys?
- Frankie!

- Good to see ya.

Uh, come inside, Nicholas.
I want to introduce you
to my compadres,

my friends. You know,

my partners in crime.

Come on.

- Oh! Read 'em and weep, ladies.
Full boat.

- Ah!
- Bada bing.

- Yo, fellas!

- (guys): Frankie!

- Who's he?

Internal Revenue Service?
- Looks more like a fed to me.

- With those slacks? No way.
He's a professional golfer
all the way.

- Which is it, kid? IRS?

- I'm, uh--
- FBI?

- I don't, uh--
- PGA?

- Uh... forget about it?

(guys laughing)

- Hey, I like this kid.
- Yeah.

- But what'd you do,
rob a drycleaner or somethin'?

- N-No.

- Boys, this is my nephew,
Nicholas. My brother
Nicky's kid.

- He looks just like
his Grandpa Aldo.

- (guys): God rest.
- Nicholas, this here is

Charlie Cement.
This is Oscar the Undertaker.

And that big refrigerator over
there, that's Jimmy the Iceman.
- Hey, easy. You know

I got an eating problem.
I can't stop eating!

(guys laughing)

- It's a pleasure to meet
you all. I'm Nicholas Borelli

the Second.

- Nicholas the Second?
What kinda name is that?

- What's with all
this handshaking business, kid?
You want to say hi to somebody

here, try this. Come here.

Hey, Oscar! How you doin'?

Eh?

- OK. Um...

Hey! How's it going?

- (guys): Oh! Oh!

- Slow down, kid!
We ain't datin'.

- It's the cheeks, kid.
Not the lips!

- Ah, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, man.

- So, uh, Charlie,
Sunday's the big day.

You wanna back out,
now's the time.

- I ain't backin' outta nothin'.
(phone ringing)
- Good man.

Comes a time in everyone's life
where they gotta man up
and take charge.

- (Jimmy): Hello.
- It'll be the same
for you too one day, Nicholas.

- Hey, yo, Frankie. Phone call.
- Take a message, I'm in
the middle of something.

- It's Paulie.

- Yo, Tommy. Get out here.

This is Frankie's nephew,

Nicholas Borelli--
the Second.

(guys chuckling)
Do me a favor. Show him
around the neighborhood.

- Yeah. Sure. Come on, kid.

- Hey, boss.
Yeah, sure thing.

Clean up from last night?
No problem.

I'm on it.

- Yeah, so I'm a pretty big deal
around here. I'm basically your
uncle's number-two guy.

- Oh, yeah?
- Uh, well, right now, I'm
moving boxes and cleaning out

the back and stuff,
but I'm working my way up.

Pretty soon this whole
neighborhood will be mine!

How you doin'?

I'm starving.
Let's go fishing.

- Fishing? In... in Brooklyn?

(Tommy chuckles.)

- Watch and learn
from the master fisherman.

Hoo!

All right.

Come to Papa.
- What if he sees us?

- Ah, baldy loves this game.
It's like cat and mouse,

except the mouse is a sausage.

Ooh! Look at that. Mm!

Oh, yeah. Now you try.

- Oh. OK.

Just like that?
- Yep.

- OK... almost... got it.
- Hey, watch your line.

You're all over the place, man.

Oh!

- What the? Hey!

Hey! Hey, you kids! What are you
doing up there? Come down here!

- Sir, I am so sorry.

I didn't mean to hook your
very realistic-looking hair.

- Abort! Abort!
- OK.

- Hey! Gimme my wig back!

You see some kids come by here?
One of them carrying some hair?

- Yeah. I saw them.
They went that way.
- Oh. Thanks.

I'm gonna get you kids!

- You can come out now, boys.

- Watch yourself, man.
- Ow. Watch the hands.

Hey, hey.
- Come on.
What's wrong with you?

- Phew. That was a...
that was a close one. Uh,

thanks for that, by the way.
- Yeah, no problem.

- It's 3 o'clock! I gotta go
pick up Charlie Cement's
fungus cream!

- Ugh.
- I told you.

I'm working my way up.

(Nicholas chuckles awkwardly.)

- Ooh, uh, Algebra II.

Fun stuff.
- Fun? Summer school's not fun.

Stupid math. What's the point?

- Actually, you need math
in your...

everyday life.

I could teach you.

You know, I'm pretty good
with numbers.

- Oh, yeah?

And what's in it for you?

- I teach you math, and you
teach me how to fit in
around here.

(laughing)

Yeah. OK.

- Oh. You were serious.
- Yeah.

You teach me to how to act
tough, how to dress, and
how to be more like

my Uncle Frankie.
And, in exchange, I'll...

help you with your...
polynomial functions.

- OK, first off, you don't
actually have to be tough;

you just gotta sound tough.
- I can sound tough.

- And to sound tough,

there's a very easy way
to do that.

You just answer a question
with another question.

- Answer a question
with a question?
- Yeah.

Someone says, "What are you
lookin' at?" You say,
"I don't know,

what are YOU lookin' at?"
Show some attitude.
Step up, be a man.

- OK. OK, how about when--

- Zip! Your turn.

- You're right, you're right.
Uh, OK, let's see

where you're at.
Um... OK, so,

the x value times two--
- Deuce.

- What?
- Instead of using
the actual word, we use slang.

Here "two" is "deuce".

That's a freebee for ya.
you only get one.

- Thank you. OK, um, so, with
this, you would... you would

subtract the x from here,
and then carry it on over...

and then you can, uh,
square root it...

[He called them his partners
in crime.]

- Dude, do you not see
what's going on?

[The Undertaker doesn't
bury 'em; he kills them!
The Iceman chills them,]

and Cement seals 'em up so that
they're never seen again.

And your uncle?
He's running the whole show.

- I don't think so.
There's some guy named Paulie.
I think my uncle works for him.

- Paulie must be the Don!
Il Capo! The godfather!

[Your uncle's his lieutenant!]
Just like Johnny Gorgeous.

- That's just a movie.

- No, it's real!
And you're living it!

This is awesome, Nicholas!
- [Well, it was cool]

when Uncle Frankie made those
jerks give me my clothes back.

- Yes! That's what I'm saying!

And you're family.
That means you're in.

- Well, I don't know
if I'm "in".

- Look, if you're gonna be
in the mob, you're gonna need
a better gangster name,

because Nicholas Borelli
the Second isn't cutting it.
[Something, you know, like...]

Nicky Awesome, or, uh,

Nicky Half-Pipe!
- Nicky Half-Pipe?

- Sorry, I'm just...
I'm just lookin' around.

Nicky Spruce Tree! Or...

[Oh, oh! Nicky Raccoon Family!]
- Please stop looking around.

- Look, I gotta go. Call me
when you're on the inside
and give me the deets.

- Wait, wait. Josh, Josh.
There's this girl.

- [So, what're you waiting for?]

Johnny Gorgeous always gets
the girl.

Ah... ah... Ah! Ah!

Ah! My other arm!

(phone ringing)

(phone ringing)

(phone ringing)

- (Frankie): Comes a time
in everyone's life where they
gotta man up and take charge.

- (Josh): Break out
of your shell for once.
- (Donna): Show some attitude.

- (Johnny Gorgeous): You're
looking at a made guy, Lorraine.

(phone ringing)

- (tough voice) Yo.

- Yo, who's this?
- Uh, I don't know. Who's this?

- Excuse me? You some kind
of smart guy or something?

- I don't know. Are YOU some
kind of smart guy or something?

- You gonna tell me who this is?
- Are YOU gonna tell me
who THIS is?

- What's the matter with this
guy? Every time I ask him

a question, he answers
with another question.
- Carmine. Gimme the phone.

- This is Paulie.

[To whom do I have the pleasure]
of speaking with?

- Uh, this is Frankie's new guy.
New guy.

I usually work the Midwest.
- Mm-hmm.

Where the heck's Frankie?
- He's seeing our friend
about the thing.

- OK, good. Our friend needs
some talkin' to.

- Don't he always?

- [All right, listen here.]
I got a job for you.
You interested?

- Do you think I'm interested?
- [Stop with the questions.]
- Yes, sir.

- Yeah. Take this down.

(siren)
(baby crying)

- Look, I don't know
about this, Nicholas.

- You said you wanted
to work your way up. You know,
run the neighborhood one day.

- Yeah, I say a lot of things,
Nicholas.

Like one time I said I was gonna
eat 20 cheeseburgers
in under a minute.

I got two down and I threw up
all over the yard!

(tires screeching)
(dog barking)

- We're just picking
something up. Piece of cake.

- Since when did you become
such a tough guy?

- I told you not to have
that third lemonade
before we left.

- I can't help it.
I get thirsty when I'm nervous.
- Who is it? What do you want?

- Um... uh, we're here
for Paulie.

- Paulie? You never
said nothing about Paulie.
- Did I forget to mention that?

- Yes, you did! Look, I can't be
working for no Paulie.
My mom will kill me!

- Are...

...are you Bobby Eggs?
Uh, Paulie sent us.

- What are you, kidding me?

What are you doing?
What's with him?

- Uh... I gotta use the can.

- That's nice. What's that got
to do with me?

- Uh, c-c-could I use
your washroom?

- You nuts? Go use the one
down the hall.

Get outta here.

- S-So, um...

like I was saying, um...
Paulie sent us.
- This must be

Paulie's idea of some sick joke,
right? Well, you tell him

I don't have it right now,
so go have a cupcake, kid.
- No, wait, Mr. Eggs, please!

- Ugh!
- Oh! Oh, man. Oh, man.

I-I-I-I am so sorry. Um, ice.

You need ice.
- Ugh!

What are you doing?

I don't need any ice. Ugh! Ow!

- I don't see any ice.
Who doesn't have ice?

(sizzling)
- Ah!

- Hm.
(Bobby groaning)

- I found some frozen tilapia.

How old IS this?

Hey, Mr. Eggs,
you dropped something.

- Ugh!

- Oh! Oh, man.

Geez, Mr. Eggs, are you OK?
Looks like you took
a nasty spill.

- No, please, please.
That's enough, that's enough.
Just stay away from me.

Here, take it, take it.
Just... tell Paulie I'm sorry.

It's all there. Count it.
It's all there.

- Wow, you found it!

Uh, are you sure

you don't need help?
- Please... leave.

- OK.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just tell me one thing.

Who the heck are you?
- Oh, I'm, I'm Nichol--

They call me Nicky.

Nicky Deuce.

- What happened here?

Come on, we gotta
drop this off.

(door slammed shut)

- Ugh!

I shoulda let him use
the bathroom.

- Mmm. Ho!

Oh, this is so good, Tutti.

What do you call this?
- Spaghetti and meatballs?

- Oh.
- What does
your mother feed you?

So, Donna Farinelli?

She's a great girl.
I think you should

take her to the Santo Pietro
festival. That's where I met
your Grandpa Aldo.

- (both) God rest.
- I wish he could see you

all grown up now.
He would be so proud.

And my Frankie too.

So handsome!

- Hey, Ma, my ears are burnin'.
- Frankie!

Grab yourself a plate.
I made all your favorites.

- Ah, no thanks, Ma. I ain't
hungry. Me and the boys ate
after the job.

Ah, you know, maybe I'll have
a little ziti.

Thanks, Ma.

- He takes such good care of me.

I don't know what I'd do
without him.

(TV on)
(stomach rumbling)

- (TV): And here
they come, folks,

the horses in full stride.
They're rounding the corners.

Everyone's jockeying
for position,

but none of the horses managing
to break away quite yet.

- Hey, uh, where you been,
Uncle Frankie?

- Hey, you see that horse
in the back?

Name is SteviesBiscuit.
He's gonna win.

- SteviesBiscuit?
- Yeah, people like to give
their horses weird names.

- But that horse has no chance
of winning. He's too far behind.

- (TV): The field is bunched up.
It's a full house.
But wait a second.

SteviesBiscuit is coming on
strong after the final turn.

SteviesBiscuit moving from
dead last to ahead of the pack!

Will it, can it? Yes, it can!

SteviesBiscuit wins the race
by a length! And that's

SteviesBiscuit, a 75 to 1 long
shot, that takes the prize.

How can a horse go from last
place to first place
in no time flat?

And who on earth would have
bet on that horse to win?
- Wow. Seventy-five to one.

You know, someone must have made
a lot of money on that horse.
- You know about odds, huh?

- Well, yeah, yeah.
It's pretty basic math. I mean,

for every dollar someone bet
on that horse, they won $75.

- And if they were
to bet $10,000?

(Nicholas whistles.)

Yeah.
(Frankie whistles.)

You know, your dad shoulda
brought you around sooner.

���
- Those next few days were
some of the best of my life.

In the morning's, I'd shop
with Tutti. It was way different

than shopping with my mom,
'cause Tutti bought actual food.

- Ohhh!
- There was a cheese guy...

- Ah!
- ...and a bread guy.
Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!

A sausage guy.
- You look familiar.

Have we met before?
- Uh, no. No, no, no.

I'm new hair--here, here.

I'm new here.

You're bald.

I'd spend the afternoons helping
Donna with her math homework,

and she'd teach me
how to look like I came
from the neighborhood. You know,

less pleat, more street.

- � Beautiful �

� I've sunshine enough
to spread �

� It's just like
the fella said �

� Tell me quick,
ain't love a kick �

� In the head �

(laughing)

� Like a fella once said �

� Ain't that a kick
in the head �

- I'm telling you, Josh,
I'm a changed man.

- Dude, it's been
like five days.

- Hot Towel Harry,
you've outdone yourself.

Sembra buono.
- [Who's Hot Towel Harry?]

Did you just speak Italian?
What the what is going on,
Nicholas?

- Whoa. It ain't
Nicholas no more, I go by
Nicky Deuce now. Capiche?

- Ugh!
- Nicky Deuce?

Capiche? Ain't?
- (boy): I can't feel my leg!

- Bro, you just used
a double negative.

- OK, I love ya, pal,
but I gotta go. Salute.

- � Beautiful �

- Hey. Anybody? I can't...

I can't hang up my phone.

- � Tell me quick �

� Ain't love a kick
in the head �

- Come on!
I'm not even playing!

- I was king of the world.
Every meal was better
than the last.

And I was even starting to get

a bit of a reputation
around the neighborhood.

- For Nicky Deuce,
it's on the house.

- � Tell me quick,
ain't love a kick �

- Nicky Deuce?

I think my lessons are working
too well.

- � In the head ��

- Hey, uh, Donna. There's...
there's something I've been
meaning to ask you.

- Sure, I'll go with ya.
- Wait--

- The Santo Pietro festival.
You were just gonna ask me,
right?

- Uh, yeah, yeah,
but how'd you know?

- You took a deep breath,
you were gettin' a little
sweaty. I've seen it before.

- I thought I was hiding
my sweat--

- You weren't.
I'll meet you there.

- (quietly): Yes!

(phone ringing)

Yo! This is The Deuce!

- [Hello? Nicholas?]
- Dad?

- How you holding up, buddy?

- I love it here. I... I can't
believe you ever left.

- [Well, we have got
some great news.]

It took some finagling,
but your mother and I got you

on the next fight
out of New York tonight,

so you should be in Papua New
Guinea by morning! Now,
it is a cargo plane,

so you're gonna be sharing space
with some goats, and, I'll be
honest, these goats are angry.

- Dad, you're not listening.
I want to stay.

Tutti is so awesome,
and Uncle Frankie really--

- Absolutely not! You are coming
to Papua New Guinea,

you are flying
with angry, bitey goats!

- This so isn't fair, Dad.

- Nick, it's your brother.

[The kid likes it here, we like]

having him here, and he's
learning some important

family history. You want
to deprive him a that?

Fine, but you're gonna have
to come here

[and get him yourself.]

Otherwise, he's staying put.

- Thanks, Uncle Frankie. I mean,
I'm probably gonna get grounded

for this, but thanks.
- We're family, kid.

Nothing's more important
than family. Remember that.

- He hung up on me.

- Nicholas?
- No.

My brother.
(bird squawking)

I don't like this, Barb.

(animal barking)

I don't like it one bit.

- Me neither.

(lion growling)

(firecrackers)
(accordion music playing)

(kids laughing)

- (man): Get your sausage
and peppers here!

- Uh, you, uh, you look
very, uh, pretty--

nice. Uh, look
very pretty nice...

- Oh, good, good.
I was, uh,

going for very...
pretty nice.

My mom made me wear
this dress. I think
I look kinda stupid.

- No. No, no.
You look... you look great.

- Yeah, well, so do you.

You actually look like you're
starting to fit in around here.

- Whoa, whoa. W-W-Wait a second.
Is that Tutti?

- Yeah. She does this
every year.

Raises a ton of money
for the sisters

at the Holy Sacrament.
- Muah!

- That's kind of disturbing.
- I think it's kinda sweet.

(bell ringing)
(kids screaming on ride)

(Donna and Nicholas laugh.)

- For the lady.
- Thank you.

Hey, why don't you
go get us

some ice cream?
- Yeah.

- I promised my dad
I'd check in real quick,

so I'll be right back.

Hold my bear.
- Ah.

- Thanks, Nicky. I'm having
a real good time tonight.

- Man, I love this town.

(kids screaming on ride)
Grazie. Ha! Ha!

- They're all goin' down
this weekend.

Frankie, Charlie, Jimmy, Oscar--
the whole crew.

Right after the race tomorrow.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uncle...
Uncle Frankie's gonna get
arrested?

- I can't wait to see the look
on their faces when I bust
the case wide open.

O dio mio.
- No, no, no.

I gotta warn Frankie.
- You're coming with me.

- Can it wait? I'm kinda in
the middle of something, guy.

- Sorry, Deuce.
I ain't the waitin' type.

Ahhhh!

So cold!

- Mm, gelato.

- Tommy! Tommy! Tommy!

- Whoa!

(man groaning)
Ow.

- OK, I think we, uh, I think
we lost him. Let's go.

Come on.

- Hey, boys. Out for a little
late-night jog, are we?

- There you are!

You're gonna pay for this.

- Napkin?

- Hey! Get in the car! Now!

- So, the famous
Nicky Deuce.

Word is you "scrambled"
Bobby Eggs pretty good.

I'm impressed.
- Well, actually,

sir, it--

Yep.

- That Frankie. Getting kids
to do his dirty work.
It's genius.

You did a good job for me,
Deuce, and, uh, Phil is it?

- Uh, it's Tommy, but you can
call me Phil if you want, sir.
- Yeah, I know I can.

Now, I need something.
And you kids are

just the ones to help me.
- What, uh, what kind
of something?

- The kind of something
where I get rid of somebody.

Follow me.

- Uh... can I use

the bathroom?

- Nicky?

- How you doin', Vinny?
You comfy?

Take a seat. Now, this is

the person that I want you
to get rid of.

- Uh, sir, I don't think
I can do this.
- Me neither.

My mom'll kill me.
- Oh, you're gonna do it,
and you're gonna do it now.

See, I need you
to show me how...

to de-friend...
my mother-in-law.

But my mother-in-law, marone,
this woman is always

in my business. How many more
cute little dog videos can
I watch? Please,

you gotta show me
how to de-friend her

on FacesandFriends.com.
- O-OK.

(beep)
(chime)

(chime)
- Hm.

- (Tommy): Mm-hmm.
That's how it's done.

- That's it?
- That's it.
- Wish it were always

that quick, huh, Vinny?
(Paulie laughing)

(all but Vinny laughing)

(gulp!)
- Now.

I got a job for you to do.
Said I was gonna give it to
Frankie, but I like the way

you fly under the radar.

That's the address.

I want you to make a delivery
for me tonight.

This is a big step
for you, Deuce.

You gotta show me
what you got. Now...

get outta here.

Not you, Vinny!

Nice try.

(Paulie chuckling)
(chime)

Oh, yo. I got another
friend request!

- Hey, good for you, boss!
- It's from my mother in law?

Why won't this woman
leave me alone?

- What are you gonna do? Look,
this is bad. This is real bad.

- OK, we gotta... we gotta try
to pull this job for Paulie,
and then warn Uncle Frankie

about the setup tomorrow.
- I'm not talking about Paulie.

I'm talking about Donna.
You stood her up.

She is not gonna be happy
about this. This is bad.

This is real bad.

- It's OK!

I'll just talk to her.
She'll understand.

So, there you have it, Donna.
Paulie forced us to come
and see him.

We didn't have a choice.

Now, can you please put me down?

- You promise

to never stand me up again?
- Yes. Yes, yes, I promise.

Ooh! Oh!

- I got it from here, Rocco.

Thanks for the help.

So, let me
get this straight.

you're the one who roughed up
Bobby Eggs.
- Sort of.

- And now you're working
for Paulie?
- Yeah. Ah!

- What are you thinking?!
- It just all happened!

I wasn't thinking. You know,
I was just... I was just trying

to man up, you know?
Ah! Really?

- OK, so, you're sure Capaldi's
gonna rat out Frankie
and his crew?

- Yeah, I heard it with my own
ears. You know, he told the cops

he's got a whole case he's just
waiting to bust open.

- So, what does this all
have to do with Paulie?
- They work for him.

Paulie's having us
pull a job for him tonight.
- That might have something

to do with whatever
Sunday's about. What's the job?

- Some kind of truck delivery.
- I'm coming with you.

- No, you're not, Donna.
It could be... could be
dangerous.

- Yeah.
- That's why I'm coming.
Someone's gotta protect you two.

Wait, wait,
wait, wait.

Do either of you even know
how to drive a truck?

- Psh! Come on. Do I know
how to drive a truck?

The answer is no.

(phone ringing on other end)
- Come on, come on,
Uncle Frankie.

Come on.

(car alarm)
Where the heck is he?

(cat screeching)

- What're you squirts
doin' here?

- Pickup for a delivery.
What's it to ya?

- Easy. That's Nicky Deuce.

- That's The Deuce?

- You hear what he did
to Bobby Eggs?

He toyed with him. Kept workin'
him over, pretended like he had
no idea what he was doin'!

- Brutal.

OK, just sit tight.

The merchandise ain't quite
ready yet. The doctor's running

a little late. Come on.
Let's go!

- Doctor?
- Could come in handy
with the way he drives.

- Hey, hey, hey.

That's that weird-looking guy
from the race on TV
the other day.

He was in the crowd
when SteviesBiscuit won.

- You think that has something
to do with Uncle Frankie?

- I don't know...
but we're gonna find out.

Come on, come on. Let's go.

- What is this?

Olive oil?
- Real high quality stuff too.

Extra EXTRA virgin.

(laughing)
Tastes delish on ice cream.

- Why'd Paulie send me for this?
I thought I was supposed to
pick up the other thing.

- The boss changed his mind.
He sent The Deuce on
the other thing.

- The Deuce?
- Yeah, Nicky Deuce.
Your kid from the Midwest.

- Tell me, Enzo,
what does The Deuce look like?

- A horse? That's what Paulie
sent us to pick up?

- That's a thoroughbred, Nicky.
Oh, look at him:

long, straight legs,

strong pelvis, nice big butt.

What? I know horses. Shut up.
(door slamming)

- OK, this does not look good.

- This REALLY doesn't look good.

- Vat is zee horsie's name?
- Wee Willy, Doc.

(Tommy snickering)
- Excellent.

(race bell and music)

- What is he doing?

- Vee Villy. Vee Villy.

Ven you hear zis vord,

you vill run like zee vind,

faster zan zee other horses,
like your tail is on fire.

(ding!)
But... only
ven you hear zis vord.

Strudel.

Ya. Strudel.

(cash register ding)

Strudel!

Zee animal has been programmed.

(TVs turned off)

Voo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

I love my job.

To zee salad bar!

- All right, come on, guys.
Let's go.

- OK, horsie, let's go.
- (whispering): Hey, Tommy!

Tommy, what are you doing?
What's going on with him?

- Tommy, snap out of it. We
gotta get back to the truck
before we get caught.

- What are you guys doing
standing around here?

We gotta get back to the truck
before we get caught! Move.

- How could you get him involved
in this? He's just a boy!
- I didn't do nothin',

Ma. He must've picked up
my phone. I don't know
what he was thinkin'.

- Muah!

- This is why your brother
didn't want Nicholas
coming here,

and this is why
they never come to see me.

It's all your fault!

- Muah!

(sigh)
- Don't worry.

I'll find him, Ma. I won't let
nothing happen to him.

- Hey, Izzy, don't get
so greedy!

- You're so beautiful!

Come on, here we go.
Up the ramp.

Into the truck.
(Nicholas chuckles.)

Oh, you're such a good horse!
(truck rear door closing)
- Oh, man.

- So, Paulie's fixing the races?
- Well, think about it.

Ludwig von Hypnotist puts
the horse under his spell,
and then, when the jockey says

the magic word, Vee Vill--
I mean, Wee Willy--

(snickering)
- I'm sorry. It's a silly name.

- The horse...
(Wee Willy neighs.)

...kicks some serious horse
butt. That's how Uncle Frankie

knew that horse was gonna
win the other day.
- Bing, bang, boom!

So that's why Paulie
and his crew always clean up--
because they bet the long shot.

It's simple math.
(Wee Willy neighs.)

- So, is...
(snickering)

...Wee Willy a long shot
at the race tomorrow?

- A hundred and ten to one.
(Donna whistles.)

It's a setup at Belmont! I can't
let Uncle Frankie go down
like that. He's family.

And nothing's more important
than family.

- So, what do we do?

(Donna sighs.)

Aww.

- Please hurry.

- I am. And shh! Quiet.
Don't wake up my parents.

- Why are we leading

a horse into a bakery
in the middle of the night?

- It's simple, Tommy.
In math terms, if we want

to change the solution,
then we have to change

the variables in the equation.
- Sometimes I wish you'd
speak English.

- If we don't want Uncle Frankie
to get pinched, we gotta

make sure the horse doesn't race
tomorrow.

- Oh, OK, I get it.
So, we double cross
the most powerful dude

in all of Brooklyn. Great plan!
I love this plan! Great plan!
Great plan! Great plan!

- Get it together, man!

I gotta get up to bed
before my dad freaks.

You three make yourselves
comfortable.

- OK. We'll see you. OK.

Hey, buddy, it's OK.
It's OK, boy. OK.

(She gasps.)

- Hello, Mrs. Borelli.
- Who are you? And what
are you doing in my house?

- My name's Paulie.

And this is Carmine. We're
acquaintances of your son,

Frankie.
- My Frankie wouldn't

associate with goons like you.

- Now, that's a very hurtful
thing to say, Mrs. Borelli.

- Well, that's what you are.
You break

into an old woman's house
and scare her half to death?

- For that, we are truly sorry,
and we'll be out of your hair

as quickly as possible.
But firstly, we were wondering

if you could tell us
the whereabouts of Nicky Deuce.

See, he stole something
of mine,

and I would really like
to get it back.

- Nicky Deuce?
Who's Nicky Deuce?

- Boss.

- Oh! Nicholas?

No, no, there must be some kind
of mistake.

Nicholas would
never steal anything

from anybody.
I'll prove it to you.

- Math Boy? What is this?

- Look how adorable he is.

- Whoa, Deuce! Don't bend over
in those tights! Ohhh!

- All right. That's it.
We're leaving. I'd had enough.

Grab the old lady.
She's coming with us. Let's go.

- Over my dead body! Ah!
- Do not let her get
to the spoon!

(smack! smack! smack!)
- (Enzo): Oh! Oh!
- (Carmine): Ow!

- Huh?

- (yawning): You two make
a cute couple.

(Tommy snoring)
Uh, Nicky?

Where's Wee Willy?
(Nicholas gasps.)

- Holy cannoli.

- My pop is gonna kill me!
- Donna, Donna, I will pay
for this.

I don't know how, I don't know,
it might take me 10 years'

worth of allowances,
but I-I'll pay for it, I swear.

- He ate everything. The cakes,
the cookies, the cannolis.
Oh, my!

- What?
- He even ate my pop's
world-famous apple strudel.

- Strudel!
(Wee Willy neighing)

- Ooh! Ahhhhhh!

(crash!)

(Nicholas shouting)
(traffic noise)

- What'd I miss?

- I forgot about the trigger
word the doctor used to
program Wee Willy!

(snickering)
- What trigger word?

- Strudel.
- Strudel!

- Oops.

Nicky! Are you OK?!

- Ha. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The first couple of blocks hurt
a little bit.

But then, after about
the 12th block, it hurt a lot.

What happened?
- The trigger word.

S-T-R-U-D-E-L. I think Tommy
must have gotten programmed
somehow too.

- Hey. Buddy. Tommy.

Snap out of it. Come on. Tommy!

Hey!

- Hey, guys!

How'd I get outsi--
Why does my face hurt?

(cell phone chime)
- Um... well...

- Oh, no.
- What is it?

- They got Tutti.

(chime)

- Yo! Yo!

I got another friend request!

And, look who it's from.

Request accepted.
- Hey,

he wrote on your wall, boss.
- Yeah. That's today's date.
Now, this kid's good.

"I got what you want,
you got what I want.

Let's make an exchange."

Yeah, you may be good, kid...

but you ain't that good.

- (announcer): Ladies
and gentlemen!

Welcome to Belmont
historic racetrack!

Please take your seats
as the jockeys get ready
for today's lineup of races.

And remember, flash photography
is strictly prohibited,

as it may frighten the horses.

- You know, your status update
should read: "You're a real
pain in my rear."

- And yours should say:
"You're a blight on society."

- Oh, compliments are gonna
get you nowhere, Deuce.

Or should I call you Math Boy?

(laughing)
- OK, here's how
we're gonna do this.

You're gonna give me Tutti,
and then I'll message you

the location of your horse.
- Whoa, I didn't realize

you were callin' the shots.
- You know what leverage is,
Paulie?

- Oh, is that when you
dance around in tights
with plus signs on 'em?

- Ha, ha, ha, ha. No, no, no.

Leverage is the power
of a superior position,

which I happen to have
right now, because, guess what?

The race starts in...
oh, 45 minutes.

- Well played, Deuce.

- Come on, Grandma.
- Hey! Hey! Get your--

- Tutti! Tutti, are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm good.

- Nicky! Ma!
- Uncle Frankie?!

- Nicky, you shouldn't be here.
You don't know what's goin' on.

- No, Uncle Frankie, you don't
know what's going on.
- Nicholas!

- Dad?
- Nick?
- Frankie? Mother?

- Nick!
- Look what we got here.
The Borelli family reun--

and me without my camera.
- How did you find me?

- I traced your location
through your phone.

All parents can do it.
What have you gotten
him into, Frankie?

- Nick, it ain't like that.
- Enough! Me and The Deuce are
in the middle of a transaction.

- Who's The Deuce?
- I am. I'll explain it later,

but right now I got
the upper hand.
- Hey, boss.

Look what we found
hiding in the stables.

- Sorry.
(thug making kissing sounds)

- You're so cute.
You're so beautiful.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

What were you saying
about leverage, Deuce?

- You haven't change
a bit, Frankie. And now
you drag my son into it?

- You disappear for 20 years
and you think you know
what's going on?

- Will you boys stop fighting?
- Yeah, listen to your mother.
- Don't talk to your brother

like that. He's not the one
who abandoned the family.
- Oh, please, Ma.

Not this again.
- Dad, Uncle Frankie, Tutti.

- (all): What?!
- Now is not the time!

We gotta figure out how the heck
to get out of here.

- But the rope is so tight,
I can barely wiggle my hands!

- I think I know a way.

- Good, 'cause this is not
a stable situation.

- OK. All right.

- Nice, nice.

- This place is
a den of filth.

- No. No, no, no.
Escape the ropes...

- Ahhh.
- Well done, Deuce!

���
("Charge" fanfare)

- (announcer): And the main
event is just about to begin,

so hang on to your hats and
buckle your seatbelts, folks.

The tension is palpable here.
This promises to be one
for the ages.

(laughing)

- You broke my heart, Nicky.

A son abandoning his mother
like that. It's just not right.

- Look around, Ma.
This is why I left.

I couldn't have my kid getting
in the same kind of trouble
we did.

- But your family's here, Nick.
- Yeah.

- Mom just wants la famiglia
back together, especially
with pop gone.

- (all): God rest.
- I got it!

- Math Boy to the rescue! Woo!
- (Frankie): Well done.

- OK, we're loose, but now
what are we gonna do?

- It's time to man up...
and take charge.

Hey!

We need help!
Something's wrong with my uncle!

Hurry!
- Go check it out.

I don't feel like walking.

- What is this?
- And they're off!

- Now, Uncle Frankie!
- Bye-bye!

- Ah!
- Good job, Nicky!

- That is one impressive Dangle!
But Flappy's coming in fast!

- What's going on in here? What
are you doing hanging around?

- Funny you should ask.
- And let's not count out

Mud Cupcake,
flying in from the rear!

- Ho-ho!
- (Enzo): Horse poop!

- Ha! Ha! Missed me.
- You were saying?

- Saddle up, folks.
This is getting good.

- Yes!
- But it looks like Clip-Clop
will not be able to break free.

- That'll teach you
to mess with my boys.

- Party's over, Grandma.
Put your hands up.

(Enzo laughing)
- Call me Tutti.

- Ooh!
- It's not looking
good for Family Jewels.

- Yes!
- That was awesome!

- Nobody calls me Grandma.
Everybody knows that.

- Hey, that's not fair. Everyone
got to knock out a bad guy
except for me.

- What the--
What is going on here?

- It's still any horse's race,
with Wee Willy bringing up
the rear of the pack.

- Hey, Tommy.
- Does he have one final push?

- Strudel!
- Strudel!

- It appears he does!

- Oh!
(crash!)

- ...here comes Wee Willy
from way behind!
- Hey, Nicky, look!

The race is about to end!
- At the wire, it's Wee Willy,
followed by Flappy and Dangle.

Unbelievable! Wee Willy,
the biggest long shot...

- OK, you guys go find
someplace safe

and stay there. I gotta go
take care of Paulie
once and for all.

- Wait, wait, Uncle Frankie!
No! No, you can't!

- Nicholas! Where are you going?
- Dad, it's a setup.

The cops are gonna arrest
Uncle Frankie! I c-- I gotta go.

- And, folks, I can't say
I've ever seen this before.

It appears that there's a young
man galloping on the track

right now, and he is
on the move!

- (PA): All purses can be
collected at your nearest
cashier station.

- I'd like to cash these in,
please.

- We're gonna have to give you
a check. This is over our limit.

- Oh, I got time.

- You got time, all right.
We got you, Paulie!

About, uh, 25 to life,
I'd say.

- Uncle Frankie, wait!
It's a setup!
- Nicholas!

It's time for Frankie
to take responsibility
for what he's done.

- I couldn't agree
with you more, Nick.
- There he is.

Congratulations,
Detective Borelli.

- Thank you.

- (both): Detective Borelli?

- OK, wait a minute, so...
- You're not in trouble
with the police?

- No, kid. I am the police.
- (cop): Let's go.

- Come on.
I'm not even German, man!

- I knew you were a rat,

Frankie. I knew it all along.
But you got nothin' on me.

You got no wires!
(laughing)

- No, but we got wireless.
You think FacesandFriends.com

doesn't hold up in court?

- Agh!

- (bystanders): Oh!

- What? I'm from Bensonhurst.

- Wha--

- Both you Borelli brothers are
punks!

I shoulda de-friended you
when I had the chance, Frankie!

I shoulda de-friended
all o' yas!

- Bye, bye.
They don't grow tomatoes
where you're going, Paulie.

- Neigh!

- For the last time,
you're not a horse!

- You're a cop, Frankie?
A cop?

- I cleaned up my act
a long time ago.

I wanted to tell you, Nick.

I just couldn't blow my cover.

- I don't know
what to say.

I should have trusted you.
I'm sorry. All these years...

- Never too late, right?

- I never should have kept you
from your roots, Nicky.

(They chuckle.)
I'm sorry for that.

- No, Dad, home is
wherever the family is--

you know, our house
or Brooklyn. La famiglia.

- La famiglia.

- Let me get this straight.
When Old Man Capaldi said
you were all going down,

he was talking about...
- Atlantic City,

for Charlie Cement's
bachelor party.

- OK, OK. But what about that
case he couldn't wait
to open, huh?

- Champagne, kid. Capaldi gets
the best deals in town.

- He knows a guy
who knows a guy.

- So, uh, you're all legit?
- Yeah.

- Jimmy the Iceman?
- I fix freezers.

- Charlie Cement?
- Construction.
- Oscar the Undertaker?

- I'm an undertaker, kid.
What else would I be?
- What did you think

we were, Nicky? Some kind
of a crime family or something?

- What? No! No, that's crazy.
That's crazy.

Who would think that?

Yeah. Yeah, I did.
(guys laughing)

- You been watchin'
too many movies, kid.

- Oh, my Borelli boys
together again.

Your father would be so happy.
- (all): God rest.

- And, Barbara,
thank you so much

for sending all of those videos.
You did good with him.

He's a fine boy.
But, listen,

This gluten-free, fat-free,
taste-free stuff,

what is that?
Come on, he's Italian!

He needs real food
at the family table!

- We'll work on that, Tutti.
But have you ever tried
tofu spaghetti?

- There you are, Nicky.

I told you we were gonna dance.
Think you're gonna get
out of it?

(She laughs.)

- � And stars in sunshine... �

���

- � Spread your wings �

- It's all diamonds
and champagne from here, Donna.

- Huh?
- Nothing. Just something
I heard in a movie once.

- Ey! Everybody!
If you haven't had this yet,

it's amazing!
You gotta try it! Donna,

tell your pop this is the best
apple strudel ever!

- Strudel!
(horse neighing)

(cat screeching)
(glass shattering)
- We gotta have that looked at.

- � Rainy or sunny �

- And there it was,
the greatest summer of my life.

The summer of my first kiss--
and it was the lips,
not the cheeks.

The summer that brought
my family back together.

The summer that turned
Nicholas Borelli the Second

into...

(buzzing)

(glass shattering)

- Anyone?

Anyone?

Seriously?!

- �� I roll right out of bed �

� But not the same old way �

� A little thought was �

� There in my head �

� Sonny, it's your lucky day �

� I headed down the street �

� And found that on my way �

� A smile from everyone �

� That I meet �

� Sonny, it's your lucky day �

� I'm lovin' life �

� Like I should �

� Sonny, it's my lucky day ��

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