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1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:03,655
[Knock on door]
2
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,012
Hey.
3
00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:05,962
Hey, Spencer. What
are you doing here?
4
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,269
I thought you had a date.
5
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,745
You know how you
said when a woman
6
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,334
wants to meet for
lunch instead of dinner,
7
00:00:10,358 --> 00:00:11,228
it means she's
not that interested?
8
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,835
Yeah.
9
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,205
Well, what's it mean
when a woman says,
10
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:15,671
"I thought you were someone else
11
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,764
when I agreed to
go out with you?"
12
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:20,413
It means another
evening of fried twinkies.
13
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:23,198
I'll go heat up the fry daddy.
14
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,684
Oh, man.
15
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,093
I'm in this slump
with the ladies.
16
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,293
I mean, what do I have to do,
17
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:28,195
start hanging at the mall with
18
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:29,329
a puppy and a baby?
19
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:32,210
Again?
20
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:33,773
Hey, I could try to cheer you up
21
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,359
by telling you that
love's gonna strike
22
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,383
when you least expect it
23
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,951
or I could introduce you
24
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,299
to a sexy lady named
Marie callender.
25
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,871
I know her well.
Her meringue is nice.
26
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:48,178
Real nice.
27
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:55,011
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
28
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:59,618
♪ you're finding
you, i'm finding me ♪
29
00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:03,241
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
30
00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:05,284
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
31
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:06,369
♪ brings out the joy ♪
32
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:09,464
♪ inside of me ♪
33
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,717
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
34
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,250
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪
35
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:17,635
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
36
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:20,249
♪ you and me ♪
37
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:23,081
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪ ooh.
38
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,592
I thought you said cute
guys worked out here.
39
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,527
All I see are women.
40
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:40,359
I lied.
41
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:42,448
This is a women's-only gym.
42
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:43,887
The big women's-onlygym sign
43
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:46,633
should've been your first clue.
44
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,885
You lured me here
under false pretenses?
45
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:50,678
Mona, you have to do something
46
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,202
before those musclesof yours
47
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:55,846
give up on ever
hearing from you again.
48
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,771
Oh. Hey, merce. What's up?
49
00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,396
Just trying to get my
friend Geneva here
50
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:00,733
to exercise.
51
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,986
She may be thin,
but skinny jiggles, too.
52
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,909
I'm your ex-friend now.
53
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:07,084
She told me there were
cute guys at this gym.
54
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,450
If it makes you feel any better,
55
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,696
I fell for the cute
guy thing, too.
56
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:13,222
Single women always
go for the man bait.
57
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,737
Merce, you have only
been dating the same guy
58
00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:17,221
for 3 weeks.
59
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:18,571
You're just a phone call away
60
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,750
from being single
your damn self.
61
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:22,396
Please. I am a med student.
62
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,490
With my background in
anatomy and gymnastics,
63
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:25,929
I am never single very long.
64
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,275
You know what?
65
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:28,194
I'm gonna stop
looking at everything
66
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:29,498
through the prism of,
67
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:30,654
"will there be any
decent men there."
68
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,022
Me, too.
69
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,258
No more wearing
a thin white t-shirt
70
00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:35,633
in the frozen food aisle.
71
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:36,830
Admit it. I'm not the only one
72
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,852
who's done that.
73
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:40,381
We are strong women.
74
00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,954
We do not need a man
to validate our existence.
75
00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:44,312
Is that why you
were surfing the web
76
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,728
for guys last night?
77
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:49,337
Ok, now you're
really my ex-friend.
78
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,260
See, Mona? You
should feel better.
79
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,345
You're not the only
lonely, desperate person
80
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,184
in San Francisco.
81
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,183
Wow. You're a
whiz with the pep talk.
82
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:01,565
Thanks. I get that a lot.
83
00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,619
You know, men have
it just as bad as we do.
84
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,785
You should've seen Spencer
85
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:05,880
the other night.
86
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,358
He was so depressed.
87
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,968
I haven't seen him like that
88
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,208
since he found out
what chicken McNuggets
89
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,503
are made of.
90
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:15,373
Hey, I just had a great idea.
91
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:17,886
Why Don't we fix
Spencer up with Geneva?
92
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,900
See? I'm like that
kid in the sixth sense,
93
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,592
only instead of dead people...
94
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,509
[Whispering] I see couples.
95
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,415
Well, i'll do anything
to stop exercising.
96
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:29,470
Follow my lead.
97
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,947
So Geneva, there's this guy...
98
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:33,467
I'm single, 26, have a job,
99
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:34,821
a house, and a car.
100
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,260
Who are you setting me up with?
101
00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:38,776
Mona's best friend.Oh.
102
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,110
Well, i'm a personal assistant
103
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,736
to a very rich, very gay man
104
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,090
who thinks i'm sassy.
105
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,289
I like movies,
bike rides, and...
106
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,441
Oh, who cares?
107
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,919
What's this guy like?
108
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,399
Well, Spencer's fun,
109
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,229
he's generous, he dresses well.
110
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:53,147
Fun? Generous?
111
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,453
Ok, give it to me straight.
112
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,368
Are we talking
Jabba the Hut ugly
113
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:57,853
or Dennis rodman ugly?
114
00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,463
'cause I can deal with jabba.
115
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,024
Spencer's very cute.
116
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:03,501
Boris kodjoe cute.
117
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,551
Ooh. Ok, i'm in.
118
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,156
Great.
119
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,467
[Whispering] I see happy people.
120
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,951
Wait, should Spencer and Geneva
121
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:18,688
sit opposite each other
or next to each other?
122
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:22,480
Next to each other.
Move over here.
123
00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:23,996
Great. Wait.
124
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:25,759
That's too intimate
for a first date, right?
125
00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:28,397
Right. Ok, scooch back.
126
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,785
Wait. Oh, could you...
127
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,398
No, I could not!
128
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,208
This is more exercise
than I got at the gym.
129
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,689
And why do we have
to actually join them
130
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,879
on their first date?
131
00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:37,541
Because we want this to work,
132
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,835
and the key is to provide
133
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:41,460
a comfortable,
stress-free environment.
134
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,542
We facilitate conversation.
135
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:46,241
We laugh at their little jokes.
136
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,999
We subtly gesture if one
of them gets something
137
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,376
caught in their teeth.
138
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:52,603
Or in Spencer's case, when.
139
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,123
Well, i'm here.
Where's the girl?
140
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:56,727
She cancelled, didn't she?
141
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,728
She hasn't even seen
me and she cancelled.
142
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,870
She's not here yet.
143
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,282
That's chick talk
for she's not coming,
144
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,872
isn't it?
145
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:07,305
Spencer, sit.
146
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:10,274
Whew. How do I
look? Do I look ok?
147
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,883
I'm so nervous.
148
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,363
And Spencer
doesn't get nervous.
149
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:15,794
And Spencer doesn't refer
150
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,930
to himself in the
third person either.
151
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,883
Just relax. You'll be fine.
152
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,761
I have a sixth sense
about these things,
153
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,063
only instead of dead people...
154
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:25,668
[whispering] She sees couples.
155
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,980
[Whispering] Dead couples?
156
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,287
And you wonder why
157
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,943
you haven't had
a date in a while.
158
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:35,028
Mona: Oh, there she is.
159
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:35,987
Her?
160
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,424
For me?
161
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:40,341
Spencer's impressed.
162
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:43,777
Spencer, Geneva.
Geneva, Spencer.
163
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,865
Oh. Heh heh. I just
got a little shock.
164
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:51,085
Me, too. You are
a beautiful woman.
165
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:53,826
You know, it's a shame
you two have to go.
166
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,658
Mona doesn't have
to be anywhere.
167
00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:58,876
Oh. Dee Dee's
schedule is wide open.
168
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,487
So's the door.
169
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:03,097
I hear the curb is lovely
this time of the year.
170
00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:06,058
That is so witty. Isn't
he witty, Geneva?
171
00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:07,578
Go.
172
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,939
I'm telling you, I
haven't seen anybody
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00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:14,374
fall in love that fast
174
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,681
since Michael Jackson
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00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:18,066
saw the white noses catalogue.
176
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,900
You know, I Don't think
Spencer and Geneva
177
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,598
have spent a single
night apart since they met,
178
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,186
which is good since
most of his relationships
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00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:26,079
only last a weekend,
180
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,738
give or take a weekend.
181
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,322
I Don't know what
you're so excited about.
182
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,825
That boy could've been yours,
183
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,322
and what did you do?
I'll tell you what you did.
184
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,048
You threw him away
like that cheese log
185
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:36,222
I gave you last Christmas.
186
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:39,358
And Don't tell me you didn't,
'cause I found it in your trash.
187
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:40,922
Ma, what part of "Spencer and I
188
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,049
are just friends"
189
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,190
do you not get?
190
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:44,492
The part where you die alone
191
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:46,058
and your cat bootsy
starts nibbling on
192
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,151
your fingertips
'cause he's hungry.
193
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,673
Bootsy is your cat.
194
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,117
And when I die,
who do you think is
195
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,589
gonna take care of him?
196
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:55,943
Is this conversation
only morbid to me?
197
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:57,044
Look, ma, my point is that
198
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,198
Spencer and I
199
00:06:58,287 --> 00:06:59,547
were only meant to be friends.
200
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,726
And my point is,
that boy is a keeper.
201
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,382
He's like gumby.
He's a little dorky,
202
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:08,166
but he could be
molded into something.
203
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:10,173
Hi, everybody. Mrs. Thorne,
204
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:11,335
this is my lady Geneva.
205
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,081
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
206
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,391
You got yourself a real catch.
207
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,647
Thank you. You're welcome.
208
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:19,530
[Under her breath]
You could do better.
209
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:22,353
Hey, haven't seen
much of you two lately.
210
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,792
But I bet you've seen
plenty of each other.
211
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,009
Huh? Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.
212
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,188
[Chuckles]
213
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,063
What is this, sixth grade?
214
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:32,055
Spencer and I have news.
215
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,317
It's not just news.
216
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,149
It's a special report.
217
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,927
Geneva and I are
moving in together.
218
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,591
Oh, my god, you guys!
219
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,065
I know!
220
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,895
[Mimics] I know!
221
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:43,994
Wow.
222
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:46,072
And after only 10 days.
223
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,471
Wow.
224
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:48,994
When it's right, it's right.
225
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,817
And this is right?
226
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:53,035
Absolutely. I
got live-in lovin',
227
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:55,694
and I like it.
228
00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,909
[Pager beeps]
229
00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:59,319
Oh, damn. My boss
finally figured out
230
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:00,438
how to page me.
231
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,263
Gotta go. Later, baby.
232
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,661
Later, schmoopie.
233
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:08,225
Bye. See ya. Have fun at work.
234
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,193
Are you crazy?
235
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:11,392
You've only known schmoopie
236
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,097
for a week and a half.
237
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,928
Mona, I thought
you'd be happy for us.
238
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,426
What us? You and a
girl you've only known
239
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,112
for a week and half?
240
00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:19,063
Oh, and did I mention
you've only known her
241
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,940
for a week and half?!
242
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:23,152
I know it seems like we've
been moving kind of quick,
243
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,521
but with g I Don't
have to pretend
244
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:25,547
to be something i'm not.
245
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,072
I can just be.
246
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,118
And I gotta tell ya,
at the end of the day,
247
00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:31,254
it's nice to come
home and just be.
248
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:35,246
Me and g, g and me.
249
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,780
Oh, this is so romantic.
250
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,295
It's love at first sight.
251
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,188
You know, my parents
fell in love at first sight.
252
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,516
Oh, good. Give
more bad examples.
253
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,569
You're helping my case.
254
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:45,834
You know what, Mona?
255
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,216
I wish I had your support,
256
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:48,049
but what matters is how I feel
257
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,486
about my woman.
258
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,272
She makes me feel
good about myself,
259
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,966
like what I say means something,
260
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,274
even when it doesn't.
261
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,360
There you have it.
262
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:58,665
Another satisfied customer.
263
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,015
Thank you, Dee Dee.
You're a true friend.
264
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,665
And, Mona, just like that woman
265
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,669
who told Romeo not
to hook up with Juliette,
266
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,241
you, too, will look
back on this day
267
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,848
and feel foolish.
268
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,939
Romeo and Juliette died.
269
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:14,288
Always a downer, Mona.
270
00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:16,289
This is all your fault.
271
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,781
And I take full responsibility.
272
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,062
You Don't have a romantic bone
273
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,521
in your body.
274
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:22,474
Because i've got too
many common sense bones
275
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,352
taking up the space.
276
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:25,303
Common sense bones,
277
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,000
pain in the ass bones,
278
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:28,828
they're all the same
as far as I can see.
279
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,437
Geneva,
280
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:35,880
how are things
going with Spencer?
281
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,526
Oh, perfect.
282
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,710
I can't wait till Desmond
finds out about us.
283
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,276
That boy is gonna regret
284
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,843
leaving me for that witch Karen.
285
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,150
So you're moving
in with Spencer
286
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:46,926
just to get back at your ex?
287
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,851
Don't make it
sound all selfish.
288
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:50,757
And Spencer's getting
289
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,201
something out of it.
290
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,347
He gets to live with me
until Desmond comes
291
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,895
crawling back.
292
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,065
And you Don't feel
bad about using him?
293
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:59,471
Maybe a little.
294
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:00,685
No, wait.
295
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,604
No.
296
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,124
Well, do you think
maybe you misheard
297
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,309
what Geneva was saying
298
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,621
about Spencer and
this Desmond guy?
299
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:22,898
Not unless she was talking about
300
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:26,356
Spencer Tracy and Desmond tutu.
301
00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:27,711
But I guess the question is,
302
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:28,911
"what are we gonna do about it?"
303
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,192
No, no. The real question is,
304
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:31,721
how much of a
hurt do you want me
305
00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:33,325
to put on her?
306
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:34,895
'cause that boy
is like a son to me.
307
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,072
Nobody's gonna
put a hurt on anybody.
308
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,288
That's right. This is
a delicate situation,
309
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,617
and we need to think it through
310
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,250
calmly and rationally.
311
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:44,337
And then I can
put a hurt on her.
312
00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:46,556
Phyllis, we need
your expertise here,
313
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,126
not your anger.
314
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:51,222
Well, anger is what
i'm an expert at.
315
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,652
And my anger is telling me
316
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,019
we need to end
this and end it now.
317
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:54,924
Who knows what other evil's
318
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,352
around the corner.
319
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:59,698
Hello.
320
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:00,979
I didn't realize
you had company.
321
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,268
And Phyllis.
322
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:04,788
We're in the
middle of a crisis.
323
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,061
Oh, maybe I can help.
324
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:07,623
Money crisis, man crisis,
325
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:08,620
or "why can't the
democrats get their
326
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,281
act together" crisis?
327
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,975
Because mama's
good, but not that good.
328
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:15,243
Spencer's new girlfriend
is totally using him,
329
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,286
and we're trying to
figure out how to tell him.
330
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,242
And the award for
best arrival in the Nick of
331
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,720
time goes to... moi.
332
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,421
Ladies, the last thing
333
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,338
you want to do is tell Spencer.
334
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,123
He will only resent you
335
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:28,488
for sticking your nose
where it doesn't belong.
336
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:29,953
You know, like when your father
337
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:32,517
wants to have input
on what he wears.
338
00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:34,824
Dances with hooves has a point.
339
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,351
They always blame the messenger.
340
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:37,544
You know, when your father and I
341
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:38,866
were dating in high school
342
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,259
and I found out
he was making out
343
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:41,681
with some hussy
from the glee club,
344
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,811
did I blame either one of them?
345
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,572
You bet I did.
346
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:47,100
But most of all, I blamed
that nosy alto who told me.
347
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:50,064
I coughed all through her solo.
348
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,414
But I can't just sit back
349
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:52,763
and let this happen to Spencer.
350
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,152
I didn't say do nothing.
351
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,235
What you do
352
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,503
is approach the girlfriend.
353
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:57,405
And put a good, old-fashioned,
354
00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:59,069
Detroit hurt on her.
355
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,113
And reason with her.
356
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,068
I know being civil is foreign
357
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:02,936
to some of you...
358
00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:04,896
Well, one of you,
359
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,245
but what I say is,
360
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:07,204
let the little schemer know that
361
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,161
you're on to her.
362
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,469
She'll back down.
363
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:10,294
You know, I remember one time...
364
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:12,121
Ma, we get it.
365
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,119
Phyllis had her story.
366
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:16,210
Now it's my turn.
367
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:18,040
I had just arrived
in a big city.
368
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,038
New York?
369
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,649
No. Phoenix.
370
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,350
But they had a
thriving community
371
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,997
theater scene.
372
00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,221
I was just a young girl
373
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,749
with a pair of legs and a dream.
374
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,014
Within a year,
375
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,006
I was the toast of the town
376
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,317
and featured dancer
377
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,472
in all the top dinner theaters.
378
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,750
Mom, how is this relevant to
379
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,021
what's happening to Spencer?
380
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,374
I didn't say it was relevant.
381
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:41,023
I just said this was my story.
382
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,978
Now, we were doing the wiz
383
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,767
and it was 5 minutes
till curtain time,
384
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,202
and they just served the
385
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,548
chocolate mousse.
386
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:52,377
And Dorothy is stuck in Tucson.
387
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:55,427
♪ When I think of
home, I think of a place ♪
388
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:02,242
I can't believe i'm
about to confront a woman
389
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:06,049
about a man i'm not
even sleeping with.
390
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,353
Don't worry, Mona.
391
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,268
We're gonna work this out.
392
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,272
Oh, here she comes.
393
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,143
Hey, girls.
394
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,104
Hey, Geneva.
395
00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:15,192
Listen, there's no
easy way to do this...
396
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,512
You Don't want
Spencer and me to
397
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:17,544
move in together, right?
398
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,022
No. I mean, yes,
399
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,252
but no, that's not what I mean.
400
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:24,057
What I mean is... I, ah...
401
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,851
Look, Geneva,
402
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,105
I overheard you and merce
403
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:28,587
talking in the steam room,
404
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:30,937
and we want you to
stop seeing Spencer.
405
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:33,067
Oh.
406
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,470
I realize this could
be kind of awkward
407
00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:37,343
and maybe even a
little embarrassing,
408
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:38,785
but, you know,
what's life without
409
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,301
an awkward moment or 2?
410
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,674
I mean, heck, it
wouldn't be my life
411
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:42,520
if there weren't
at least 2 to 3
412
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,174
of these a day.
413
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,608
So why Don't you break it off
414
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,174
with Spencer,
415
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,221
and we can all get
on with our lives, ok?
416
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,866
Here's the situation: What
I say to my friend merce
417
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,201
in the privacy of a
public steam room
418
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,233
is none of your business.
419
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,012
I may not love
Spencer, but I like him,
420
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,617
and what I do with
a man that I like
421
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,397
is between me, him,
422
00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:02,171
and the video camera
that I got for 30% off
423
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:03,542
at circuit city.
424
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,885
So keep your nose
out of my business
425
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,125
and back in your ruffles bag,
426
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,460
where it belongs.
427
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,073
Oh, wait a minute.
Hold up, missy.
428
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:12,163
Nobody talks to
my sister that way
429
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:13,502
and nobody treats my friend
430
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:14,981
the way you're
treating Spencer,
431
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,381
so you can shake your finger
432
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:17,994
and pop your neck
all you want to,
433
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,864
but you're gonna
tell Spencer the truth.
434
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,206
Or?
435
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,635
Or we'll tell him ourselves.
436
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:23,931
And then what are
you gonna do, huh?
437
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,210
Huh? Come on. Come on.
438
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,300
[Sad, girlish voice]
Spencer, I Don't know why
439
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:32,219
Dee Dee and Mona are saying
those terrible things about me.
440
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,176
You know you're
all I care about.
441
00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:38,225
Now, you may think
you have his ear,
442
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,702
but remember,
i'm grabbing on to
443
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,621
a whole lot more than that.
444
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:46,642
Is it too late to
have your mother
445
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,578
put one of those
Detroit hurts on her?
446
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:56,070
[Knock on door]
447
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,326
Spencer, we need to...
448
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,988
[Weakly] Talk.
449
00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:00,532
I Don't know what I
ever did to make you
450
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,681
turn on me like this,
451
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:02,970
but Geneva and I
have a good thing
452
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:03,859
and we're moving in together.
453
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:04,946
Excuse me?
454
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:05,911
She told me what you said.
455
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:07,122
What I said?
456
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,600
That I was too good for her,
457
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:09,890
that you were gonna do
everything in your power
458
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:10,949
to turn me against her.
459
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,300
No, I never said that.
460
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,219
That's what she
said you'd say.
461
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,873
Now say you said it.
462
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,568
Wow. Ok, the truth,
463
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,085
not that you're
gonna believe it,
464
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,049
is that Dee Dee
overheard her saying
465
00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:22,437
she was just using you
466
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,810
to make her old
boyfriend jealous.
467
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:27,395
Uhh! She said
you'd say that, too.
468
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,151
Spencer, come on.
469
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,492
In all the years
470
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:31,891
we've known each other,
471
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,244
I have never, ever lied to you.
472
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,633
Ok, I lied once.
473
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:35,406
Those diesel jeans
do make your ass
474
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:38,239
look fat.
475
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,028
Mona, you're just
not gonna be happy
476
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,903
till i'm alone and
miserable like you.
477
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,325
Ok, fine. Have your little
478
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,951
dysfunctional relationship.
479
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,562
Just make sure to call me
480
00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:50,212
when your story
airs on Jerry springer.
481
00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:51,797
I never thought my
best friend would be
482
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,690
so jealous.
483
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,218
Well, I never
thought my best friend
484
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,832
would be so whipped.
485
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,312
Well, whipped and getting some
486
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:00,052
beats lonely and
bitter every time.
487
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:07,621
[Knock on door]
488
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,355
Yeah?
489
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:10,806
Can I use your
bathroom real quick?
490
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,189
I had too much
iced tea at lunch.
491
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:13,965
Ohh!
492
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:23,939
Mona: Oh, my god.
Spencer's here...
493
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,026
With schmoopie. Let's go.
494
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,725
No, no, no.
495
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,362
This is our hangout,
and we're hangin'.
496
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:30,699
I can't believe
Spencer and I are
497
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:31,902
in the same place
498
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:32,901
and we're not even talking.
499
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,522
If those two stay together,
500
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,152
it'll pretty much be the
end of our friendship.
501
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,999
Would you feel better
if you just sat back
502
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,484
and said nothing?
503
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,443
No, but at least i'd
still have my friend.
504
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,092
Hmmpf. They think I care
505
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,496
that they're over
there, but I Don't.
506
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,135
It may sound like I do
507
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:46,922
because I keep mentioning
that they're over there,
508
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,786
but I Don't.
509
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:52,747
I can't believe that
they're over there.
510
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,711
Who's over where?
511
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,848
Excuse me, baby. I
see someone I know.
512
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,218
Uh-oh. Geneva is
coming over here.
513
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,274
If she hits me,
i'm just gonna fall.
514
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,899
Be my witness, ok?
515
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,207
Well, Karen,
516
00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:14,603
first you cozy up to my man,
517
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:15,805
and now you're stalking me?
518
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:16,950
[Laughs]
519
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,136
Up to your old tricks, I see...
520
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,257
Or should I say, "turning"?
521
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:21,483
The only trick I see
522
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:22,872
is you convincing anyone
523
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:24,264
you're still in your twenties.
524
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:26,217
I'm 28. I know that,
my mama knows that,
525
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,916
and Desmond my man knows that.
526
00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:29,794
Geneva: Look, witch, Desmond
527
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,094
and I were in love
528
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,490
before you came crawling out
529
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:33,813
from under your
last boyfriend...
530
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:36,315
The 49ers.
531
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:37,903
Oh, I know you're
trying to get to Desmond,
532
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:39,616
but I think it's time to quit.
533
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:41,060
Honey, you are just a pit stop
534
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,277
on the rebound tour,
535
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,495
'cause Desmond and I
536
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,284
always get back together.
537
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,498
He just needed
538
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,017
a little nudge this time.
539
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,460
G, what's going on here?
540
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,327
Oops.
541
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:53,329
Who's Desmond?
542
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,550
Um, nobody. Heh.
543
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:57,209
So why are you
trying to give "nobody"
544
00:17:57,293 --> 00:18:00,783
a little nudge?
545
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:02,522
Is that all I am to you?
546
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,173
I thought what we had was real.
547
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:05,867
Oh, Spencer, sweetie,
548
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:07,374
if you took what I
said out of context,
549
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:10,260
it could sound really bad.
550
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:14,090
Sounds like i'm
finally hearing the truth.
551
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,063
I guess lucky for
me the other woman
552
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:22,413
showed up.
553
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:25,412
Wait a... Mona, you set me up.
554
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:26,925
I've never seen
that woman before
555
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:27,888
in my life.
556
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,236
I didn't set you up.
557
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:31,015
I did.
558
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:35,110
What? Because i'm
cute, I can't be devious?
559
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,941
I got Karen's
number from merce.
560
00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:38,218
You needed to see for yourself
561
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:40,247
who Geneva really is.
562
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:42,246
I Don't know who
I should be mad at.
563
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,908
Myself, probably.
564
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,952
She had us all fooled, Spencer.
565
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:47,057
Yeah, but you tried to tell me
566
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,392
and I didn't listen.
567
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:49,945
Then I called you
lonely and bitter,
568
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,541
which is mild compared
to what I was saying
569
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:54,175
when you weren't around.
570
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:57,753
Mona, i'm sorry about all that.
571
00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,052
It wasn't cool.
572
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,398
It's ok.
573
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:01,637
And your ass doesn't look fat
574
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:02,922
in those diesel jeans...
575
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:06,191
When you're sitting.
576
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,275
Well, ladies, here
we are, single again,
577
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:11,894
with nothing to do
on a Saturday night.
578
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,276
Speak for yourself. I got a man,
579
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,980
and i'll be getting with
him in about 15 minutes...
580
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:19,938
Although i'd rather
stay and hang with you.
581
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:21,768
Oh, that's sweet.
582
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:25,076
See? I'm devious and I
can lie with a straight face.
583
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,214
I'm gonna make a great lawyer.
584
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,817
So you want to go catch a movie?
585
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:32,077
No, I want to go home
and deep-fry something.
586
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,091
I'm thinkin' sweet potato pie.
587
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,093
I like being lonely
with you. Ha ha!
588
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,866
Let's go get fatburger.
589
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,013
Who exactly are
these evil people
590
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,446
who are saying
we have to exercise
591
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,193
for an hour a day?
592
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,494
Just keep at it.
You're doing great.
593
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,970
How much longer do I have?
594
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:56,061
59 minutes, 30 seconds.
595
00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:57,591
You can use this treadmill.
596
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,024
It's stuck on "cool down."
597
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:01,550
Oh, thanks.
598
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:02,975
She seems nice.
599
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,641
And pretty, too.
600
00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:06,375
She's got a great figure.
601
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:07,986
Oh, my god. I'm
checkin' out women.
602
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:09,336
I gotta go to the co-ed gym.
603
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:11,205
Mona...
604
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,687
That didn't work yesterday,
605
00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,516
it ain't workin' today.
606
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,914
Get back on the treadmill.
607
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,038
Not that one.
608
00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:48,862
Whoo-hoo!
609
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:49,943
Ha ha ha!
610
00:20:49,993 --> 00:20:54,543
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