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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:12,136
KID CAPRI:
It's the Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam.
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00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:41,389
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together for my main man, Mr. Joe Torry.
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00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,744
That's it!
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00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,703
Shit! Y'all came up
for laughs, let me hear you say, "Hell, yeah!"
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00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:50,313
AUDIENCE: Hell, yeah!All right, then.
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00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,184
Kid, we gonna rock
this motherfucker?
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Indeed, brother man.
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Give Kid a round
of applause.
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00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,582
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
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00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:03,502
Baddest DJ
in the goddamn land.
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00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:06,501
Just mixin' and doin'
all the shit with your fingers, man.
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00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:07,724
You are truly blessed.
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00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,368
Fuck, I used
to do that shit.
15
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,198
I broke my finger doin'
that shit one time.
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Cheap-ass goddamn turntable.
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00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,768
Shit, we gonna have fun
in this motherfucker.
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Fun, as I'm happy and shit.
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Happy as a motherfucker
'cause I just got my own shit back.
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My own crib, you know
what I'm sayin'?
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I kicked my little brother
out the motherfucker.
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'Cause everybody know
they got an old, worthless-ass relative
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they don't like to fuck with.
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And this motherfucker
be wearin' my shit, you know what I'm saying?
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When I'm out of town?
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Stay on the road
a lot and then try to clean my shit
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and put it back in the closet
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before I get back.
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But he's stupid 'cause he's
left-handed and put my shit back, you know, this way.
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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And I'm like, "Motherfucker,
you ain't foolin' me!"
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That's why
there ain't nothin'...
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When you got your own shit,
there ain't nothin' like it now,
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so you can do
what the fuck you want to.
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Am I bullshittin'?
When you got your own shit...
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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...can't nobody
tell you shit.
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You can do anything
you want to.
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You can thump a book
on the motherfuckin' wall, pow!
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00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,521
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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Walkin' around naked.
Use the hot water, cold water,
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play the radio,
any-fuckin'-thing you want to.
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You ain't gotta worry
about nobody telling you shit 'cause it's your crib.
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Walkin' around
just butt-naked.
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Ain't gotta worry about
nobody arguin' with your ass,
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'cause you're arguin'
with your damn self.
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:19,922
Be like, "Joe, who ate up
all the damn food?
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"You did,
you stupid motherfucker."
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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Ain't gotta worry about
nobody beggin' you for no goddamn money.
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You can beg from
your damn self.
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I do it all the time.
I'd be like, "Joe, loan me five dollars."
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And there you go.
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING
AND APPLAUDING]
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You gotta worry about
paying myself back. Shit!
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And they... I know
everybody here, because I had my class reunion,
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like, you know,
last year and shit.
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You know what I'm sayin'?
You know, 10-year class reunion?
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Go to your class reunion.
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Go to your goddamn
class reunion.
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You never even go
to that shit,
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so you know how
it'll be 10 years later.
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I went to my class reunion,
it was fucked up.
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Half of the people
ain't even come.
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I'm like,
"Ain't this a bitch?"
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They up there talkin' about,
"We don't know it was the class reunion."
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Fuckin' 10 years.
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00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,785
'83, '93. What the fuck?
You can't count this shit?
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00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,537
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,578
Then they come up
with this shit, "We ain't had the money."
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Fuck you ain't had
the money.
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It costs $50, y'all. $50.
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Fifty goddamn dollars took
care of the whole weekend.
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The shit...
Party on Friday night.
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Gettin' to know
a motherfucker.
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The banquet dance, dinner,
all you can do. Shit, Saturday
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and then the picnic
Sunday. $50.
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Ten years...
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...and you ain't got $50.
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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That's five dollars
a goddamn year.
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What the fuck is you doin'?
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Some motherfuckers
still stay at home with Mama.
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And I could see
if Mama was sick,
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00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,311
but Mama's sick
of your ass.
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Get the fuck out the house.
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Goddamn!
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This shit is
a motherfuckin' trip.
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00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:50,527
Goddamn, what the fuck
is goin' on right here?
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:55,495
Goddamn. What the fuck?
Is y'all in a gang or somethin'?
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What's that?
The Buffalo Gang? What's on it?
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Wassup? Is that real shit?
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MAN: Yeah.
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Shit, give me a shout-out.
What's your name, man?
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00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:04,643
I want to give y'all
a shout if y'all cool. What's that?
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00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:05,719
That's Bud, I'm Tangy.
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00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:06,987
JOE: That's Bud and Tangy.
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00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:08,469
I'm Tangy. I'm Tangy.You Tangy?
101
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,899
Tangy.MAN: I'm Buttwheat.
102
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,025
You Buckwheat?
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00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:12,556
Buttwheat.JOE: Buttwheat.
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Buttwheat.
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Buttwheat.
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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Tawolata.
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I ain't... What?
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00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:22,605
They told us
we was goin' to eat.
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You was gonna eat?Yeah.
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What the fuck
you gonna eat? Us?
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING
AND LAUGHING]
113
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Where the fuck
you get some food at a comedy show from?
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When you gonna eat?
Motherfucker, you know you got a pizza
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00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:36,281
in your back pocket
right now.
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I help... I help your ass
out after the show, all right?
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00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,324
Don't you get tired
of eating, man?
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Not today.Not today? You either.
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Who's this motherfucker?
That bodyguard?
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That's my bodyguard.
Baby Face Buggs.
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[JOE LAUGHS]
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Motherfucker ain't got
no goddamn baby face. It's like an old ass man.
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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Some baby face. Y'all do
anything for attention, won't you?
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Goddamn!
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00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,473
Y'all got a bench
back there in that row or just seats and shit?
127
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,653
Y'all motherfuckers
fuckin' them chairs up, man.
128
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:10,309
Gonna charge y'all
a weight fee in this motherfucker.
129
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:13,103
Calm down, man, don't fuck up
the cameras and shit, man, all right?
130
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:14,965
Goddamn!
131
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:17,843
Chup, chup, chup,
chup, chup, chup.
132
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,882
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,758
Y'all in my crowd
and y'all my posse tonight, all right?
134
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,370
All right now, man.
Yeah, I don't want y'all to participate,
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'cause I do some shit,
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you know,
before I start the show. Some different shit now.
137
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Y'all gotta be with me.
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00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,235
If they get out of line,
y'all help me, all right? Y'all fuck 'em up.
139
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Here we go.
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00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:38,994
Are y'all ready
for the next comedian?
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ALL: Yeah. Is he funny?
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[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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Hell, yeah!
Back to do it again, from Detroit,
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give it up for Tommy Chunn!
145
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[CHEERING]
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Yeah! Keep it goin'!
Wassup?
147
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,541
Y'all all right?AUDIENCE: Yeah!
148
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,580
Yeah, you know this.
149
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,886
Hell, man.
That's great, man.
150
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:10,152
I'm glad to be here, y'all.
I like being a comedian in the '90s, you know?
151
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,365
You know why?
'Cause I work for myself.
152
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,805
'Cause I hate workin'
for other people 'cause I'm an entrepreneur, you know.
153
00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:17,162
'Cause we work
for other people that have crazy rules.
154
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:20,162
They got this one rule called
"two weeks' notice." Y'all heard of that shit?
155
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,335
That's some bullshit,
ain't it?
156
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,912
'Cause if you quit the job,
you obviously don't give a fuck no more.
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00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,649
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
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It's like,
"Yeah, this time I quit.
159
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,817
"No, no, no.
I ain't comin' in."
160
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,777
"Well, you know you owe us
that two weeks' notice?"
161
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,736
"Well, how about
you notice I'm not at that motherfucker...
162
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,054
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
163
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,270
"...for two weeks?"
164
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,489
"I don't think
he's coming in.
165
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:40,749
"He's not here yet.
166
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,673
"It's already Wednesday.
Where is the guy?
167
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:49,625
"Where is he?"
168
00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:54,975
And I like comedy
'cause when you're a comedian, you know,
169
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:57,073
you meet fine ladies,
you know?
170
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,902
'Cause women like you
when you funny. You know what I'm sayin'?
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00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,990
You know, 'cause you ain't
gotta be that good lookin',
172
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:02,419
and you don't.
173
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,815
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
174
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:07,119
No, no, no. You ain't gotta
have a lot of money, you know, just be funny, right.
175
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,905
Shit, I keep the women
laughin' from the club all the way to my house.
176
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:12,131
They be like,
"Tommy, you so crazy!
177
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,690
"You so funny.
178
00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,437
[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
179
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,350
"You funny...
180
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:21,436
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
181
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,917
"Write some new shit.
Do an ad lib.
182
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:29,227
"Hit a punchline.
You gonna be big one day.
183
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,584
"Shit, you big now.
184
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:34,670
"Do some shit.
185
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,459
"Ad lib."
186
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:41,895
'Cause I had a woman say
some shit to me one time
187
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,329
I never heard
in my whole life, y'all.
188
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,155
She made me feel like
a little kid, man.
189
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,733
We was throwin' down, right?
190
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,820
I had my rhythm goin'
and you know how you,
191
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,339
when you fuckin', you gotta
have your mood music, you know what I'm sayin'?
192
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:54,083
You know you gotta
have your... I had on some old Marvin Gaye,
193
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,865
some Otis Redding,
threw on some Jodeci, fuck it.
194
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,700
I even put on some
Garth Brooks, yo.
195
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,179
'Cause how do you fuck
to country music?
196
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,478
What's the rhythm on that?
You be like...
197
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,396
[IMITATING COUNTRY MUSIC]
198
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:09,446
I just started
square-dancing on the pussy.
199
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,489
I'm like...
[IMITATING COUNTRY MUSIC]
200
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,575
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
201
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:29,155
I'm puttin' the achy-breaky
on that motherfucker.
202
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,250
So check it out.
203
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,686
So I'm throwin' down,
you know, I'm workin' it.
204
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,473
And she says
some shit to me I never heard in my life.
205
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,958
She said, "Go ahead, Tommy.
That's right.
206
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,868
"Wash the dishes,
cut the grass, rake the leaves,
207
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:46,354
"clean the whole damn house!"
208
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:49,525
Next thing I knew
I was outside naked with a bucket and a squeegee.
209
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,010
I'm cuttin' the grass.
210
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,840
Trimmin' the hedges and shit,
211
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,583
tuck-pointin' the bricks
on the house.
212
00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:00,504
She goin', "No, fool!
Back in the house! Back in the house!"
213
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,630
So I jumped back on,
you know I did.
214
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,112
Now she started cryin'.
Do you ever have them start cryin'?
215
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,683
Probably not.
216
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,110
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
217
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,156
But that's all right.
218
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:14,468
I said, "What's wrong?"
She's like, [SOBBING] "No, no, no."
219
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:16,600
I said, "What's wrong?
Am I hurtin' you?"
220
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:17,993
She said, "No, it's not that
you're hurtin' me,
221
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,295
"it's just that
you're fucking me.
222
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:22,872
"Don't fuck me.
Make love to me."
223
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,223
I said, "Huh?"
224
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,310
[PANTING]
225
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:28,789
I said, "Make love.
Okay, make love." So I start doin' circles.
226
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,829
I said, "Is this love?
227
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:35,014
"Is that love?"
She said, "No." I said, "Is that love?
228
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,012
"Is that love?
That ain't love?" I said, "Fuck it.
229
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:40,707
"Is that love?
Is that love?"
230
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:43,504
She said, "No." I said,
"Damn it. Is that love?
231
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:44,669
"That ain't love?"
I said, "Fuck.
232
00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:47,463
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
233
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,196
"That ain't love?"
I said, "Damn it."
234
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:57,028
[AUDIENCE SCREAMING]And she said,
"That's love."
235
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,644
Thank you very much.
I'm Tommy Chunn.
236
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,295
Peace out!
237
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,505
[CHEERING]
238
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,479
Tommy Chunn in the house!
239
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,001
Tommy Chunn in the house!
240
00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:16,526
Pass that back to them
motherfuckers, man!
241
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:17,572
[CROWD LAUGHING]
242
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:19,664
Pass that shit back!
243
00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:25,147
I got some good shit.
244
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:28,719
Them fruit is gonna
wash all that fat out, y'all, all right?
245
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,763
Fuck 'em.
Y'all with me now.
246
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,585
Motherfucker,
take the peel off. Don't eat the whole banana.
247
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,677
Goddamn!
248
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,065
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
249
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:44,555
Goddamn!
250
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,430
Where the sausage?
251
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:53,999
He want to know
where the sausage at.
252
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,444
Pull one
of your fingers off.
253
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,480
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
254
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:03,749
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
255
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,143
Don't talk
with your mouth full, now.
256
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,929
Want some water? Okay.
Comin' on the way.
257
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,022
Got some water
comin' on the way.
258
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,540
BUTTWHEAT: Juice.Juice?
259
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:12,933
Yeah.JOE: Diet juice?
260
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,936
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
261
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,498
What about
a glass of SlimFast?
262
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:18,285
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
263
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,589
Couple of diet cherries?
264
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,375
[INDISTINCT]
265
00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,119
Okay, okay, okay.
Got you covered. Got you covered.
266
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,290
[ROLLS TONGUE]
Got you covered.
267
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:27,116
Y'all still with me.
268
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,214
This guy is originally from
Chicago, Illinois,
269
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,953
but he now lives
in Atlanta, Georgia.
270
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,914
Give it up for
Don "DC" Curry!
271
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:36,999
[CHEERING]
272
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,137
What's happenin', y'all?
273
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,971
I'm 35 and I'm regular.
274
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,009
I talk about regular stuff.
275
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:50,095
I'm from the regular days.
276
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:52,764
Back when your mama
had all of your living room furniture
277
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,279
covered with that
hard-ass plastic.
278
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:58,073
You sit down, it be pokin' you
in the thigh and snaggin'
279
00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,808
your polyester bell bottoms.
280
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,499
Back in the days of
shag carpet about this tall,
281
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,107
you had to step over in it.
282
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,808
Patent leather loafers
and knitted armrests.
283
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,726
Crushed velvet curtains.
284
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:11,121
Back in the days
when your mama had a dining room table
285
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:14,205
weigh about 5,000 damn pounds.
286
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,685
She was determined
wasn't nobody gonna scratch it or nothing,
287
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,086
had it covered up
with eight or nine covers,
288
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:21,439
a sheet of plastic cover,
289
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:25,529
four or five table cloths
and that country-ass lace cover on the top of that?
290
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:28,140
Oh, the fan used to try
to blow the lace cover off,
291
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:31,322
but that big-ass punch bowl
used to hold it down.
292
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:35,449
That punch bowl
with about 200 little cups going around the edge of it.
293
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:38,583
Back in the days when
you had carpet on the walls.
294
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,497
Big wooden fork and spoons.
295
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,072
I thought we had it goin' on.
296
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,239
[APPLAUSE]
297
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,684
I didn't know we was poor.
298
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,587
Mama camouflaged it.
299
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,856
Hell, I thought it was
artwork hanging all over the house.
300
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:53,509
I was grown before
I realized it wasn't nothing but some souvenir plates.
301
00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:54,945
Mama done went
to flea markets
302
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,821
and bought plates
other folks didn't want.
303
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,043
Still had writings on them,
304
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,821
"See Spain. See Italy."
305
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,516
We ain't been outside
the state line.
306
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:05,184
Had a china closet
like middle class folk
307
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,219
and never could afford
no china.
308
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:10,924
China closet
just full of stolen salt and pepper shakers.
309
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:13,794
Wherever we happen to go,
Mama steal a salt and pepper shaker.
310
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,526
Just drop 'em in her purse.
311
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,057
They still had little names
on them, "the Waffle House,"
312
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,891
"the Pancake House,"
313
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:22,319
"Macedonia Baptist Church."
She didn't give a damn.
314
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,846
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
315
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,110
The Jones family reunion.
Our name was Curry.
316
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,328
Here's the thing that matters,
317
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,253
these raggedy cars
on the highway.
318
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:34,288
Oh, you can't hardly
go nowhere on the highway now.
319
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,985
You ever been on
the highway just ridin',
320
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:38,772
here come a raggedy car
behind you with one headlight?
321
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:42,868
You think it's a motorcycle
until it get up on the side of you.
322
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:47,349
Be runnin' about 100 miles
an hour with the car shaken, he tremblin'.
323
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,521
Then he pull over in front
of you and slow down.
324
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:52,567
Oh, I'd like to just
set his ass on fire.
325
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,054
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
326
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:57,144
Usually a Cadillac,
about a '68, '69 model,
327
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,274
be smokin' like
he's sellin' barbecue?
328
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:03,577
He be leanin' one way,
the car be leanin' the other way.
329
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:06,145
Be a photo Cadillac
with three tinted windows?
330
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:09,460
Three hubcaps missing.
331
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:13,030
A rear spare tire
on the back of the trunk with a hubcap on it.
332
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,029
Windshield wipers
just screechin' like hell
333
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:17,121
'cause there ain't
no rubber on the blade?
334
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,820
A coat hanger in the hole
where the antenna ought to damn be?
335
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,820
Big dirty baby shoes
danglin' from the mirror.
336
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,953
Big country fur dice
glued to the dashboard.
337
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,736
Raggedy-ass vinyl top
hanging off just wavin' at you.
338
00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:31,871
[BLOWS]
339
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:35,664
Be a pair of drawers
in the gas tank where the gas cap ought to be?
340
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:41,490
Then there's a cardboard sign
in the back window talkin' about stolen tags. Right.
341
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:44,622
You know ain't nobody
stole nothin' off this piece of shit.
342
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:45,926
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
343
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,282
If they did,
they just stole it back.
344
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:52,502
Every time I go through
a drive-through I get behind that raggedy car.
345
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,813
Two or three cars
in front of him.
346
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:57,370
He'll turn his car off
trying to save gas
347
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,588
'cause of the line
moving too slow.
348
00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:02,377
Ten seconds later,
the line move and he can't get that
349
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,213
raggedy car cranked.
350
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,991
Folks behind me blowin'.
I can't damn move.
351
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,996
He'll ask me do I have
some jumper cables.
352
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,869
"You got
the raggedy-ass car!
353
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,261
"Think I just ride around
to give you a jump?"
354
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:15,924
I said, "Jump in
between these cars.
355
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,128
"Let me smash
your silly ass!"
356
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,218
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
357
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:21,747
If you got a raggedy car...
358
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,362
I'm Don Curry,
y'all people.
359
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:26,575
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
360
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:28,752
[MUSIC PLAYING]
361
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,476
[ALL CHEERING]
362
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:03,094
Right on, motherfuckers.
"DC" Don Curry, y'all. Give it up for him, now.
363
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:05,974
Hell, yeah!
364
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,141
All right!
So are y'all ready?
365
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,410
And it's a she,
so y'all gotta say "she" now.
366
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:19,802
Are y'all ready
for the next comedienne?
367
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,198
AUDIENCE: Yeah!
Is she funny?
368
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:27,164
From Houston, Texas,
sexy as hell, Montanna Taylor.
369
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:35,597
Wassup, New York?
370
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:38,206
Damn it, I came a long way.
You gotta be louder than that.
371
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,478
Wassup, New York?
372
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,090
AUDIENCE: Wassup?All right!
373
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:43,961
Ladies, the men always
come out here
374
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,873
and say, "Let's give it up
for the ladies." So, ladies,
375
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,477
let's give it up
for the men in the house.
376
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,008
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
377
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,231
Joe Torry and Kid Capri,
give it up for 'em!
378
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,490
See, 'cause I'm lookin'
for me a man,
379
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,965
'cause before I left Texas,
my boyfriend broke up with me
380
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,966
and it took him
two weeks to do it.
381
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,018
Not that he didn't
have the courage,
382
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,413
it's just that he
stutters and it took him two weeks to do it.
383
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:04,677
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
384
00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:08,289
He said,
"I found me [STUTTERING]
385
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:12,811
"another girlfriend
and she look... She look better than you."
386
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:15,817
And he wasn't lying.
I saw him at a party and his girl was gorgeous.
387
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:19,170
I said, "Damn. What she see
in his stutterin' ass?"
388
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:21,082
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
389
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,087
I said, "Oh, well,
you two have a nice time."
390
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:25,039
I said, "Miss, it was
nice meetin' you. What was your name?"
391
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,127
She said,
[STUTTERING] "Mmm..."
392
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:28,736
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
393
00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:33,401
Single woman. I still live
with my grandmother
394
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:35,143
'cause I don't make
enough money to live on my own,
395
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:37,364
but every time
I save up enough money to move,
396
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:40,104
she try to scare me
talkin' about if somebody break in on me,
397
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:41,966
she ain't goin' to be
there to protect me.
398
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,887
Please.
My grandmother is 87,
399
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:46,235
to the second power.
400
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,022
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
401
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,627
If somebody broke in
on me now,
402
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,417
I can just see her tryin'
to rescue me.
403
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,941
I'd be like,
"Grandma, help! Somebody chokin' me!"
404
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:57,285
"Okay, baby.
Mama comin'. Hmm.
405
00:17:57,337 --> 00:18:02,387
"Let me get the gun.
Lord, ain't no bullets in this gun. Mmm-hmm.
406
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:07,479
"Okay, I'm coming.
You leave my grandbaby alone 'for I...
407
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,701
"Lord, I still got on
my night clothes.
408
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,310
"Can't let the man
see me like this."
409
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,532
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
410
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:17,177
Where my single ladies at?
411
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:18,786
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
412
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:22,970
Oh, that's all?
413
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,447
All the rest
of you cows got men?
414
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,502
Where they at?
415
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,243
I tell you where they at.
They at home like this,
416
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:32,684
"Oh, she went
to the Def Jam,baby.
417
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,370
"We got plenty
of time, shit."
418
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:35,507
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
419
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:43,433
But, single ladies,
don't you hate the guys that ask you for sex
420
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:46,170
just because
they do nice things for you? Doesn't that piss you off?
421
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,522
WOMEN: Yeah!You know,
the type of guys,
422
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:51,352
"Huh. If I come over there
and help you move your furniture,
423
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:52,481
"what you gonna give me?
424
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,093
"If I come over there
and fix your VCR,
425
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,305
"what you gonna give me?"
426
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,437
Men, don't do that.
427
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:02,007
Don't ask a woman for sex
just because you do something nice for her.
428
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,753
We not gonna give it
to you, right, ladies?
429
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,925
But we might give you
a coochie coupon.
430
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:07,971
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
431
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,760
You don't believe me?
Go up to your girl in the mornin' and say,
432
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:18,106
"Hey, babe. I went ahead
and paid your rent for you. Don't worry about it."
433
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,937
Shoot. Coochie coupon.
434
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:20,994
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
435
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:27,207
Ain't no
expiration date on it.
436
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:30,473
I had a man so good to me,
I gave his ass a coochie credit card.
437
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,687
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
438
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:35,256
But I had to take it
back though 'cause his ass was married.
439
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,224
That's another thing,
them married men sneak up on you.
440
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,443
I met his ass
in a nightclub.
441
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:39,961
That's why
I don't go no more,
442
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,664
because I think
they have the concept mixed up.
443
00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,622
Instead of stamping
your hand,
444
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,790
I think they should stamp
men's foreheads so single ladies would know
445
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,446
what the hell was going on.
446
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,360
I'm serious.
They could stamp married.
447
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:52,627
Cheap.
448
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:53,669
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
449
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,718
Gay like a motherfucker.
450
00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:07,115
Montanna Taylor.
You guys have been great. Thank you.
451
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,217
Montanna Taylor, y'all.
452
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:20,775
[CHUCKLES]
453
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:22,658
Only on Def Jam.
454
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,479
So, here we go.
455
00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:27,527
We gonna crank
this motherfucker up another notch.
456
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:29,794
Y'all ready? Y'all ready?
This guy coming to the stage,
457
00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:33,187
he was, like, on the tour,
on the Def Jamtour that we did on the road.
458
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,322
Fuckin' the houses up.
I'm tellin' y'all.
459
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,634
Please give it up.
Back for, like, the third time,
460
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,721
from Detroit,
"Downtown" Tony Brown.
461
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:42,894
[CHEERING]
462
00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:50,505
Shoot.
463
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:52,896
How y'all doin'?
464
00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:55,037
All right.
Good lookin' audience.
465
00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:57,779
And I gotta tell you,
I'm glad to be here in New York,
466
00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,081
but it's colder than
a motherfucker though.
467
00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:01,828
God damn it.
I'm so tired of cold weather,
468
00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:03,649
I don't know what to do.
469
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:05,307
See, white folks
love cold weather.
470
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:08,881
That's why
there's such shit as skiing and ice skatin'.
471
00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:10,309
Had it been
up to a black man,
472
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:13,006
wouldn't be no
such thing as skiing.
473
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:17,234
Could you imagine him trying
to convince some old brothers to try that shit out?
474
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,366
"Hey, man, you know
what you can do?
475
00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:23,238
"You... You could put
some woods on your feet
476
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,552
"and then you can
slide on down that hill."
477
00:21:26,589 --> 00:21:28,719
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
478
00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:32,115
They'd have been like,
"Motherfucker, it's colder than a motherfucker.
479
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,860
"Get that shit off
your feet and let's go."
480
00:21:35,946 --> 00:21:38,946
Never would have happened.
Never would have fuckin' happened.
481
00:21:38,993 --> 00:21:41,043
Boy, I tell ya,
life's a bitch.
482
00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:43,132
And I'm lookin' at the news.
483
00:21:43,171 --> 00:21:45,301
That lady, they say
she was crazy so they gonna put her in the crazy house.
484
00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:47,997
You know the one.
Lorena Bobbitt.
485
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:49,995
See, I hope this shit
don't catch on. See?
486
00:21:50,047 --> 00:21:52,267
'Cause I know there's
some ladies in here now
487
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,011
with a motherfuckin'
knife on them.
488
00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:57,051
See? And we don't
need this pressure.
489
00:21:57,098 --> 00:21:58,358
God damn it.
Ain't that a bitch, man?
490
00:21:58,404 --> 00:22:00,584
Wake up in the mornin',
go to the bathroom,
491
00:22:00,623 --> 00:22:02,763
he ain't got a damn thing.
492
00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:04,149
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
493
00:22:04,192 --> 00:22:06,332
He peein' all
on the ceiling and shit.
494
00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:08,498
[WHIZZING]
495
00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:11,374
He lookin' under the bed.
"Oh, Lord. Where my thing at?
496
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:14,287
"Where... Where my thing at?
Oh, Jesus."
497
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,163
This heifer out
in the street speedin'...
498
00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:18,214
[IMITATES ENGINE REVVING]
499
00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:19,379
...and throwin' it
out the window.
500
00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:20,375
Whoa!
501
00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:24,040
Didn't give a damn
where it hit.
502
00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:27,261
Motherfucker roll right in
the gravels and shit.
503
00:22:27,302 --> 00:22:30,482
But can you imagine
the police when they got that call?
504
00:22:30,523 --> 00:22:32,443
You know, they ridin',
you know,
505
00:22:32,481 --> 00:22:35,441
nerves fucked up
worryin' about a shootout, shit like that.
506
00:22:35,484 --> 00:22:37,664
All of a sudden,
they come over the radio,
507
00:22:37,704 --> 00:22:41,104
"Car one eleven,
we want you to proceed down on the freeway.
508
00:22:42,230 --> 00:22:43,670
"See if you can
locate a dick."
509
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:45,970
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
510
00:22:46,016 --> 00:22:48,756
"Motherfucker say what?
What he say?
511
00:22:48,802 --> 00:22:51,022
"Check that, man.
Ask him what he said."
512
00:22:51,065 --> 00:22:54,845
"Uh, this is car one eleven.
Sir, can you repeat that?"
513
00:22:54,895 --> 00:22:57,765
"I said, uh, to proceed
down on the freeway
514
00:22:57,811 --> 00:22:59,681
"and see if you can
locate a dick."
515
00:23:01,597 --> 00:23:03,117
"Oh, a dick. Okay.
516
00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:05,824
"Uh, sir, is that
a big dick or a little dick?
517
00:23:05,862 --> 00:23:07,212
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
518
00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:10,654
"All right. All right.
Over and out."
519
00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:13,483
Then they get down there,
man, they madder than a motherfucker.
520
00:23:13,522 --> 00:23:16,832
"Ain't this a bitch?"
They kickin' leaves and shit.
521
00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:19,183
"Fuck a goddamn dick.
How the fuck we gonna...
522
00:23:19,223 --> 00:23:20,793
"What the fuck
is happenin' to us?
523
00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:22,754
"Oh, shit!
There it is. There it is.
524
00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:24,532
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
525
00:23:24,577 --> 00:23:25,707
"Go on, pick it up, Fred."
526
00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:29,406
"You in charge,
ain't you?
527
00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:31,191
"Well, pick it up,
God damn it."
528
00:23:31,235 --> 00:23:32,845
"All right. Fuck it then.
I'll pick it up. Shit.
529
00:23:32,889 --> 00:23:35,369
"Give me that
potato chip bag. Fuck it.
530
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,634
"Give me that,
God damn it.
531
00:23:36,676 --> 00:23:38,366
"I'll get that
motherfucker, shit.
532
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:39,677
"Son of a bitch.
You know I ain't fuck...
533
00:23:39,722 --> 00:23:41,292
"Ah!"
534
00:23:41,332 --> 00:23:43,602
"Don't play!
I'll shoot you, motherfucker.
535
00:23:43,639 --> 00:23:45,119
"Don't put that
motherfucker on me."
536
00:23:46,337 --> 00:23:47,987
That shit wild.
537
00:23:49,515 --> 00:23:51,425
Ain't that a bitch?
538
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:54,693
You know, I think it's only
right now, you know, just to even shit up,
539
00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:56,867
that some fella somewhere,
you know,
540
00:23:56,913 --> 00:24:00,223
go on and cut off
one of them titties or something.
541
00:24:00,264 --> 00:24:02,624
You know,
that's just to make shit even, you know.
542
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:06,528
Show 'em out in the streets,
wingin' it. Whoo, whoo, whoo. Whoo, whoo, whoo.
543
00:24:06,575 --> 00:24:09,265
Soon as some people
get close, throw it in a tree. Whoo!
544
00:24:10,187 --> 00:24:12,407
Go get it, God damn it!
545
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:16,461
Ain't that a bitch?
And speakin' of titties,
546
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:19,018
you know, there's a lot
of phony titties out here.
547
00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:22,456
As we speak,
there's some phony titties in the room.
548
00:24:24,288 --> 00:24:25,858
You think I'm bullshittin'?
549
00:24:25,899 --> 00:24:30,079
Dow Chemical was makin'
titties by the truckloads.
550
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:32,380
You heard what I said,
by the truckloads!
551
00:24:32,427 --> 00:24:33,817
Titties
every-motherfuckin'-where.
552
00:24:33,863 --> 00:24:36,003
Whole factory
full of titties.
553
00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:39,219
But see, they hadn't tested
the titties properly,
554
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:41,870
so therefore a lot
of titties was explodin'.
555
00:24:41,915 --> 00:24:43,435
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
556
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:46,352
You heard what I said.
Leakin', shit like that.
557
00:24:46,397 --> 00:24:48,047
Oh, ain't that a bitch?
558
00:24:48,095 --> 00:24:50,305
You never know what you got
till you bite down on it.
559
00:24:50,358 --> 00:24:51,398
Oh!
560
00:24:51,446 --> 00:24:52,576
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
561
00:24:54,275 --> 00:24:56,665
Yep. You know
what I'm sayin'. Ain't that a bitch?
562
00:24:56,712 --> 00:24:58,452
You fuckin' around there
and get too rough with your woman
563
00:24:58,497 --> 00:24:59,587
and tear both of them off.
564
00:24:59,628 --> 00:25:02,938
Just... Whoo-whoo.
565
00:25:02,979 --> 00:25:04,499
"I didn't mean
to do that, baby."
566
00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:07,106
She cryin',
"Motherfucker... Oh!
567
00:25:07,157 --> 00:25:09,507
"Give me
my goddamn titties."
568
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:12,211
Oh, y'all been great, folks.
Thank you very much.
569
00:25:12,249 --> 00:25:13,689
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
570
00:25:15,165 --> 00:25:16,515
[CHEERING]
571
00:25:22,651 --> 00:25:23,911
Tony "Titty" Brown.
572
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,960
Cut a titty off.
573
00:25:29,005 --> 00:25:32,435
So, thank y'all for comin' out
and kickin' it with us again.
574
00:25:32,487 --> 00:25:34,357
Me, the Kid and everybody.
575
00:25:34,402 --> 00:25:38,012
The man who pay the bills,
head nigga in charge,
576
00:25:38,058 --> 00:25:40,018
Russell Simmons.
You gotta say something different, man.
577
00:25:40,060 --> 00:25:41,630
Come on, please?
578
00:25:41,670 --> 00:25:43,370
Something different.
579
00:25:43,411 --> 00:25:45,111
Thank y'all for comin' out.
God bless you. Good night.
580
00:25:47,633 --> 00:25:49,463
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]
581
00:25:49,513 --> 00:25:54,063
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