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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:10,143 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:13,014 KID CAPRI: It's the Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam. 3 00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,211 KID CAPRI: Ladies and gentleman, 4 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:40,484 put your hands together for my main man, 5 00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:43,698 Mr. Martin Lawrence! 6 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,997 [MUSIC PLAYING] 7 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,088 AUDIENCE: Go Martin! Go Martin! Go Martin! 8 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:55,658 Go Martin! Go Martin! Go Martin! Go Martin! 9 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,617 Go Martin! Go Martin... 10 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,280 Y'all ain't making me out to be no dancer. 11 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,538 Wassup?AUDIENCE: Wassup? 12 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,547 How my motherfuckers doing? 13 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:11,510 That's right, you here to have a good time. Y'all feel good? 14 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,679 AUDIENCE: Yeah!'Cause you look good. 15 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:16,545 You know when you was playing that music, you see how good-looking... 16 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:19,818 See how black people just go with the flow? They just smooth. 17 00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:22,262 I saw some white people. Y'all fuckin' it up, white lady. 18 00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:24,299 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 19 00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:37,225 I saw ya. 20 00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:40,931 Man, get your feet off my stage, man. Nah, I'm fuckin with you, man. 21 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:44,150 Wassup! Give Kid Capri a round of applause, my man.AUDIENCE: Wassup? 22 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,761 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING] 23 00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:50,808 You've changed, man. 24 00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,629 You got a big head now, Kid Capri. 25 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,456 I don't wanna talk about it. 26 00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,026 Motherfuckers getting crazy out here. 27 00:01:57,073 --> 00:02:00,473 Who's the man who killed somebody on the job? 28 00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:03,471 Who's the motherfucker that came back to the job 29 00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,264 and killed everybody up in the bitch. 30 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,599 You hear about that, anybody? 31 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,778 AUDIENCE: Yeah.Motherfucker, was it... 32 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,654 Motherfucker came back like this. 33 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,605 [MIMICS GUN SHOTS] 34 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:16,484 Shit, when you fire a motherfucker, don't let him back in. 35 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,400 I'm serious, man. Ain't... 36 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,925 Fire a motherfucker, ain't do like black people too. Shit. 37 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:26,539 It's a recession. You can't fire us. 38 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:29,371 Black people like this, "I'm what? Okay." 39 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,410 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 40 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,196 Fuckers are crazy, man. 41 00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,814 [CHUCKLES] 42 00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:44,428 And black people, we make excuses when we get fired. 43 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,598 Know we was wrong. 44 00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:49,524 See a white guy get fired... [IN MOCKING TONE] "Well, wait, okay. 45 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:53,260 "So, okay, the guy says that I'm late, okay. 46 00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:56,133 "But I fucking have excuses and I'm... 47 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,916 "This is bullshit. This is bullshit! 48 00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:01,962 "Fuckin' bullshit! 49 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,617 "Well, I'll have your ass, you can best believe that! 50 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,402 "This shit is going to court!" 51 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,282 Black people don't do that shit. 52 00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:10,669 We're like, "Yeah." 53 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,932 And we make excuses and, "Why you get fired?" 54 00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:16,275 "Well, uh, motherfuckers say that all... All right... 55 00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:20,326 "So, okay, I was late like, for five months, right? 56 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,334 "But I had a motherfuckin' excuse. 57 00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:24,806 "There's a lot of traffic out there. I told the motherfucker, 58 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,856 "'Do you want me to get there safe late? 59 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,992 "'Or do you want me to get there hurt early, motherfucker?'" 60 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,905 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 61 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:38,833 Well, we gonna have a line-up today on this motherfuckin' show. 62 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,740 We have a really good line-up. 63 00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,305 And I'm happy for some of the brothers that are on here. 64 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,222 Now this first brother coming to the stage, 65 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,267 and y'all keep that energy going 'cause you know what I'm saying? 66 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:49,793 [STAMMERS] You guys are the ones who make us who we are. 67 00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:51,839 [DRUM BEAT] 68 00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:55,281 See. See. Damn it! 69 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:58,282 See how Kid Capri knows me. We've been doing this long enough. 70 00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,275 [DRUM BEAT] 71 00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,626 [DRUM BEAT] 72 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,556 Man, my motherfucker, boy. 73 00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,299 All right. [LAUGHS] 74 00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:19,304 Coming to the stage, all right. 75 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:22,516 This brother making his home here in New York City. 76 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:26,656 Brother's toured for... With a lot of the music stars and everything. 77 00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:29,141 Give it up for my man, Lenny Vornadoe. 78 00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,141 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING][MUSIC PLAYING] 79 00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,576 Give it up y'all. Martin Lawrence y'all! Give it up! 80 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,237 How's everybody feel? 81 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,461 Actually, I'll tell you guys, I am so damn tired. 82 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,150 Last night, some drunk 83 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,847 naked woman was beating on my door about 5:00. 84 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,416 Shit, I had to wake up and let her out. 85 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:50,773 You know, I told her... 86 00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:52,682 You know 'cause... You know. 87 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,084 [EXCLAIMS] 88 00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:57,911 Shit's done got out of hand. 89 00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,559 I'm riding around New York City the other day, 90 00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:02,913 72-year-old prostitute jumps in the car with me. 91 00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:05,354 Seventy-two-year-old prostitute jumps in the car with me, talkin' about, 92 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:08,742 "Ain't no shame in my game." I say, "No teeth in your mouth either." 93 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,825 Has shit gotten out of hand or what? 94 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,787 Had a man come up to me the other day and he goes, "Excuse me, sir, 95 00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:17,746 "but can you... Can you spare a dollar so I can get home?" 96 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:19,225 I said, "A dollar?" 97 00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,965 I said, "Is that all you need?" 98 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,966 I said, "It fuckin' sound like walking distance to me." 99 00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:25,148 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 100 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,994 Shit has gotten out of hand. 101 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,771 But you must ask why and how. 102 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:40,075 Don't go through life not knowing what's going on. 103 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,782 Nothing but terrible shit. And before we go... 104 00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:44,039 Before we move along, let's have, on the count of three, 105 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,002 a nice "see ya" to Mr. Bush. 106 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,651 One, two, three. 107 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:50,345 ALL: See ya! 108 00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:53,093 [EXCLAIMS] And wasn't Bush time was all fucked up, wasn't it? 109 00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:55,085 He wait to the end of his term 110 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:58,397 to send the troops to Somalia to help the starving people. 111 00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,315 But what puzzled me about the whole situation 112 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,360 is that they still over there having babies. 113 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,355 Now, I don't know about you people out here, 114 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,017 but if I ain't had nothing to eat in two, three years... 115 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:09,412 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 116 00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,236 Poontang would be the last thing on my mind. 117 00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:17,031 Shit can get out of hand. Nothing but terrible things in the news. 118 00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,942 Nothing in the news but rape, sex, drugs and violence. 119 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:23,378 I said to myself, "I'm gonna stop reading the sports page altogether." 120 00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,003 Shit can get out of hand. 121 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,170 But you must ask why and how. 122 00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,436 And I know y'all read about them serial killers that's been sweeping the nation. 123 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,830 Scared me! 124 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,662 I didn't know what a serial killer was. 125 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,350 I didn't eat breakfast for a month. 126 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,178 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 127 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,844 I didn't. They said, "Lenny, what you want for breakfast?" "Nothing, honey." 128 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,669 But you saw this man Jeffrey Dahmer? 129 00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:53,244 The man chopped up 15 people and ate them. 130 00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:57,592 I think we should send his ass out to California and let Judge Wapner hear his case. 131 00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,554 Right? 'Cause you know when you gonna see Judge Wapner, 132 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,123 if you ain't got no estimates and no receipts, 133 00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,939 you can kiss your ass goodbye. 134 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,430 [EXCLAIMS] 135 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,689 The man chopped up 15 people. 136 00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:12,082 Chopped 'em up, ate 'em up, pleaded insanity and went to jail. 137 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,737 Mike Tyson ate one person. 138 00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:15,781 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 139 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:18,393 [LAUGHS] 140 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,868 Huh? Huh? 141 00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,527 Shit's done got out of hand. 142 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:25,844 And if that wasn't enough for you in the news, 143 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,060 I got sick of the Amy Fisher story. 144 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,929 You know. I got sick of that. 145 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,971 And I got sick of that Mary Jo Buttafuoco on the news. 146 00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:35,237 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 147 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,980 You know, with her mouth all twisted to the side, you know. 148 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:42,202 "And she showed no remorse, Your Honor." 149 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:44,734 I'm like, "Get the fuck off the news!" 150 00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:47,418 Thank you all, New York. Goodnight. Thank you. Peace. 151 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,767 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING][MUSIC PLAYING] 152 00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,348 [LAUGHS] 153 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,182 All right. Coming to the stage, this is my man... 154 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:05,140 Uh, in the first couple of years of In Living Color, 155 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:08,440 he was a writer on there. I mean, you name it, he's done all the comedy specials. 156 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,528 Give it up for my man, Warren Thomas. 157 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,397 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING][MUSIC PLAYING] 158 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,186 Martin Lawrence, give it up for Martin Lawrence, ladies and gentleman. 159 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:20,586 Doing a good job for y'all. What's up? 160 00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,720 I am thrilled to be here. 161 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:25,113 You know, you ever go out with your ex? You ever go out with you ex? 162 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,376 That's a good situation. 163 00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,549 'Cause you got nothin' to lose. They already know you're a fuck-up, right? 164 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,246 You go out, you don't have to have money or nothing. 165 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,863 Sit around, don't shower, don't shave. 166 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,043 "Yeah, you got any money?" "Uh-uh." 167 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,519 "Oh, same motherfucker, that's why I dropped you in the first place." 168 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,130 'Cause you go out with somebody new, 169 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,390 you gotta front it off like you all cool and shit. 170 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,443 Gotta be acting all polite. 171 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,349 [IN DEEP VOICE] "Let me get that door, let me do this for you. 172 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,794 "Hey, Prince... Hey, nice hairstyle, is that a new dress? 173 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,400 "I love your perfume." [EXCLAIMS] 174 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:52,271 Like, "Who is this motherfucker. I don't know him." 175 00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,364 'Cause I'm on a date, and I said, "What would you like to have?" 176 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,623 She said, "Well, I guess I'll have some steak and lobster 177 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,536 "and a little bit of champagne, if it's imported." 178 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:02,802 I said, "Guess again. [EXCLAIMS] Wrong answer. 179 00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,666 "The password's combo plate. 180 00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:08,643 "Combo plate." 181 00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:11,508 Ban gays in the military. You can't ban gays in the military. 182 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,291 They always been there, always will be. 183 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:15,205 I don't know what the fuck they problem is. 184 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,820 If somebody want to defend the country, let them go do it. 185 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:21,081 The fuck, I don't care if you got no arms no legs, throw a grenade with your mouth. 186 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,475 I don't give a shit. [EXCLAIMS] "Kill all these motherfuckers." 187 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:26,219 Like some gay guy goin' be in the military ready to shoot somebody and go, 188 00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,181 "Oh, my god, he's too cute to shoot. 189 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,739 "Come here. 190 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:32,086 "Come here! 191 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:35,526 "I couldn't shoot you, not with that tight little butt look like a Clydesdale. 192 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:39,005 "Come here, kiss me, blow me. Let's do stuff. 193 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,666 "Let's do lunch. What's your sign?" 194 00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,581 How are they gonna find out who the gays are in the military? 195 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,976 They gonna show a picture of Denzel. 196 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:48,199 Whoever gets a hard-on has to leave? 197 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,679 "What do you think of that?" Boing. "Come here! Aah!" 198 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:55,726 That's 'cause everybody all homophobic and shit, man. 199 00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:58,379 Somebody had spit on somebody who had AIDS, 200 00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:01,953 they arrested him for manslaughter. Attempted manslaughter. 201 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:04,392 Let's change this crime. You can walk into a bank with no weapon. 202 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:06,649 "I got HIV. Back off or I'm gonna spit. 203 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,783 [COLLECTING SPIT FROM THROAT] 204 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:12,045 "Fill up this sack with twenties. Don't make me use this, it's loaded. 205 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:14,219 "Don't make me use it." 206 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,615 "Put down the penis or we're gonna shoot." 207 00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:21,009 That's why they banned Magic out of the NBA. 208 00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:23,405 All the players was griping about Magic. 209 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,058 I don't know too much about the disease, 210 00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:27,542 but I don't think you can get it playing basketball. 211 00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:30,243 I'd hate to see that game, "Magic with the ball, fakes left, fakes right, 212 00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,241 "dribbles down the lane, falls on top of a player! 213 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:33,683 "Ooh! He penetrates him in the butt!" 214 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,240 "That's gotta hurt!" 215 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:40,597 "Ooh, you hate to see that happen this early in the season. 216 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,640 "Marv Albert is courtside. Marv, did he penetrate him in the ass?" 217 00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,296 "Yes!" 218 00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:48,650 "He busted a nut in his ass. Back to you, Bob, yes!" 219 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:54,002 "Ooh! You hate to see that happen!" 220 00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:57,744 Magic's crazy though, man. He's on that pussy tip really big. 221 00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:01,697 Magic had six women in bed at one time. 222 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,098 Damn, I don't need that much pressure. 223 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:07,011 I get two hard-ons, I'm calling my neighbor up. "Look, I got another one. 224 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,447 "Come on over and look at it. I swear to God." 225 00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,714 Six people and you're in bed. "Hey, how you doin', baby?" 226 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,928 "You all right? Did I grab your titties? All right, are your titties good? 227 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,757 "How you doin'? All right, [EXCLAIMS] okay. Who didn't come? 228 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,235 "If you didn't come, get on this side of the bed. 229 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,552 "All right, I'm confused. 230 00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,683 "Are you doing it? Okay." You're bouncing people, spinning people. 231 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,726 [MIMICS CIRCUS SONG] 232 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,780 "Hey, how you doing, all right. Look, I'm confused. 233 00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:33,039 "If you didn't get a booty lick, get on this side of the pillow. 234 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,963 "Fill out a number two form." 235 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,648 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 236 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,825 No idea what's going on. 237 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:43,143 Wilt Chamberlain slept with 20,000 women. 238 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,490 Twenty-thousand. 239 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,749 That's a lot of nookie. 240 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,883 I figured out my career, I don't have 20,000 strokes in my life. 241 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,886 That's counting like, one, two. 242 00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:53,581 [CHUCKLES] 243 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:57,108 Three, four. 244 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,721 I don't think I'm up to 20,000. 245 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,682 My girlfriend say, "I didn't have an orgasm." 246 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,381 I say, "It's an individual sport. I got mine, you get yours." 247 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,459 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 248 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:09,158 "Two pumps and a squirt, I'm watching Arsenio,baby." 249 00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:17,351 Ever try to get head on a date and be subtle about it? 250 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,778 There's no way to do it. You always slip your hand behind their head. 251 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,086 And then go like, kind of like this, 252 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,872 like they don't notice a big hand pushing their head down towards your dick. 253 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,828 "I wonder what he's doing?" 254 00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:31,006 It's like a big Nautilus workout plan, you know. 255 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,754 "Yeah, I'm getting buffed for the revolution. Yeah, that's right. 256 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,146 "That's right. 257 00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,409 "Getting buffed for the cause, uh-huh." 258 00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:38,932 And she's licking on... I always tell my girl, 259 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,625 she got the biggest neck in the... [EXCLAIMS] 260 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,723 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 261 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,503 "I still haven't sucked it. 262 00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:46,937 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 263 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,859 "There will be no head here." 264 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:56,172 She got a picture of her head with a slash over it in her bedroom. 265 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,470 No head zone. 266 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:02,085 There's a lot of crazy shit out there. 267 00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:04,389 You gotta be careful, keep your shit out, man. 268 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,605 Crack and all that crazy shit. 269 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,825 When I was kid, crack was when a fat guy come fix your washing machine, 270 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:13,875 you could see his butt hole. That was crack and we was happy to have it. 271 00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:17,753 They be throwing you down. Look last year, when they had Willie Smith Kennedy guy. 272 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,237 Willie Kennedy Smith, raped this woman. They said he didn't. 273 00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:24,718 Then the same time, Mike got sent to jail. All fucked up. 274 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,070 Now the case is coming out like he really didn't do it. 275 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:31,460 I mean it's hard. Mike is like 25, worth $60 million. Of course he has attitude. 276 00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:34,806 When I got my student loan, I was a dickhead for three weeks. 277 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:38,507 I woke up saying, "I am king of the world, you will all be my slave." 278 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,646 I mean, imagine being the heavyweight champion of the world. 279 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,689 You know, I'd have attitude. 280 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,784 I'd walk into a real nice restaurant, just put my dick in the butter tray. 281 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,174 "Who don't like my dick in the butter tray? 282 00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:50,217 I said, "Who don't like my dick in the butter dish?" 283 00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:53,924 "I don't mind, champ, can you move your nuts over so I can butter this roll?" 284 00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,533 You guys have been great. Thanks for coming out here. 285 00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:56,883 Peace. 286 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,103 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]Thanks, everybody. 287 00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:05,848 Warren Thomas, give it up. 288 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,330 See, talent.AUDIENCE MEMBER 1: Yo! 289 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,723 Hey...AUDIENCE MEMBER 2: Yo! 290 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,195 AUDIENCE MEMBER 1: Yo!What? 291 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:16,765 AUDIENCE MEMBER 1: Bring that camera up here. 292 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:19,422 What? 293 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:21,247 AUDIENCE MEMBER 1: Bring that camera up here.AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: You shut the fuck up! 294 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,035 [LAUGHS][AUDIENCE LAUGHS] 295 00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:25,039 Motherfucker said, "Bring that camera up here." 296 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,341 Y'all don't wanna be on TV, do you?AUDIENCE: Yeah. 297 00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,478 We saw you on the news last week. 298 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,910 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 299 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:32,653 [CHUCKLES] 300 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,087 [AUDIENCE CONTINUES LAUGHING] 301 00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:44,405 All right, coming to the stage from Jacksonville, Florida. 302 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,098 Give it up for Doo Doo Brown. 303 00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,366 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING][MUSIC PLAYING] 304 00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:02,123 What the fuck is that? 305 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,512 What's up, New York? 306 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,824 [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS] 307 00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:07,521 No, fuck that. That ain't the New York motherfuckers been telling me about. 308 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,388 What the fuck is up, New York? 309 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,690 AUDIENCE: Wassup? 310 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,385 Hell, yeah. 311 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,393 You understand what I'm saying? 312 00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:16,385 Goddamn, I'm gonna start off letting you motherfuckers know, 313 00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,695 I don't fuck around! 314 00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:23,404 Oh, yeah, and some fine motherfuckers out here. 315 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:26,494 Goddamn, some fine motherfuckers out here. 316 00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,494 Yo, let me start... Let me ask a question. 317 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,796 How many brothers came out here with your girlfriend? 318 00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:33,542 Came out here with your girlfriend or you brought some lady here with you. 319 00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:36,024 Let me hear you clap. You brought a lady with you, let me hear you clap. 320 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:38,365 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 321 00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:40,765 Sixteen stupid motherfuckers. 322 00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:42,249 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 323 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,993 Stupid motherfuckers, yo. 324 00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:49,377 I'mma tell you, bro. 325 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:50,726 My girl... 326 00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,945 She can't even ride with me, bro. 327 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:55,997 No, mo. 328 00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:58,442 She can't even ride with me, bro. 329 00:15:58,479 --> 00:16:00,869 Too much stupid shit be jumpin' off when she with me. 330 00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:02,176 You understand what I'm saying? 331 00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:04,222 Oh, I, oh, bro, I don't fuck around. 332 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:07,577 She get a kiss and a bus pass. I don't bullshit. 333 00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,528 She can't even ride with me, bro. 334 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,747 Too much stupid shit be jumpin' off, dog. 335 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:14,626 You know what I'm saying? Like the other day, bro, had her in the car with me. 336 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,799 At the stop light. 337 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,665 Motherfucker pulls up alongside of the... Yelling at a motherfucker. 338 00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,236 [SCREAMS] 339 00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:21,283 [EXCLAIMS] 340 00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,977 "You need to cut that zero 341 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,808 "and get with this hero." 342 00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:33,427 He callin' me zero, bro don't even know me. 343 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:36,910 'Cause he in a Benz and I'm in a Nova. That nigga don't me. 344 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,302 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 345 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:41,653 You know what I'm saying? My girl don't say nothing. 346 00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:44,386 Fuck it. I don't say nothin'. 347 00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:48,088 Nigga gets mad 'cause she ignoring his ass, pulls out his pistol. 348 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,045 Wavin' it at my shit. 349 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:56,104 "Hey! Hey, I ain't no motherfuckin' punk, bro." 350 00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:59,575 I'mma say something, bro. I said, "Hey, motherfucker! 351 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,977 "You hear that man talking to you! 352 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,201 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 353 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,330 "What, you too cute to speak? 354 00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:10,554 "Well you better say something, goddamn. 355 00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:15,295 "Trying to get me fucked up." 356 00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:18,598 I don't fuck with her, bro, no more. 357 00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:20,906 She can't even ride with me, bro. 358 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,782 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 359 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,052 You understand what I'm sayin'? 360 00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:34,138 Y'all gotta excuse me, bro, I'm fucked up. You know what I'm sayin'? 361 00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:36,713 I don't give a fuck what time it is. 362 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,061 I don't fuck around! 363 00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,233 Shit. 364 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,096 I'm the real nigga's comedian, what's up? 365 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,758 Yo, how many real niggas we got in the house? 366 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,722 If you a real nigga, put your hand on your dick 367 00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:50,501 and let them motherfuckin' dogs loose. 368 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,547 Ain't no real niggas in this motherfucker? 369 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,157 Goddamn. 370 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,384 I know we got some real niggas in here. 371 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,954 Yo, all you real niggas... 372 00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,781 How many of you niggas eat pussy? 373 00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:05,652 If you eat pussy, let the dogs loose. 374 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,483 [AUDIENCE MEMBERS WOOFING] 375 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:10,831 Goddamn, look at the girls. Look it. "Who roof, girl, who roof? 376 00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:11,962 "Who roof?" 377 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:13,743 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 378 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,438 Damn, they up there got binoculars, "Was it him?" 379 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,837 Oh, I don't fuck around. 380 00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,231 Niggas scared to roof. 381 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:24,324 Niggas still scared to say they eat pussy, bro. 382 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:26,894 I ain't scared to say it. You know why? 383 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,191 AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Why? 384 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,147 Cause I'm good at it, goddamn. 385 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,366 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 386 00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:32,944 Oh, I don't fuck around! 387 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,288 I don't fuck around! 388 00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:39,424 No, your man might fuck around. 389 00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:43,076 See what I'm saying? I ain't one of them little minute motherfuckers. 390 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,652 You know what I'm sayin'? 391 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,648 I ain't one of them little minute motherfuckers. 392 00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:49,040 You know what I'm saying? Them niggas tried for a minute... 393 00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,354 And then they through. 394 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:55,179 No, Doo Doo don't stop till you beg him to. 395 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,871 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING] 396 00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:58,438 I don't fuck around! 397 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,785 See what I'm sayin'? 398 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,446 Oh, no, I don't fuck around. 399 00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:05,270 I get straight to the shit. 400 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,280 Straight to the shit! 401 00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:14,848 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 402 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,460 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 403 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,816 Oh no, they don't call me Doo Doo for nothing. 404 00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:36,348 They don't call me Doo Doo Brown for nothing! 405 00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:40,272 Oh, no, I do toes, assholes and elbows. 406 00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:42,359 Give it to me. 407 00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,618 Peace, I'm Doo Doo motherfuckin' Brown. 408 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,711 [MUSIC PLAYING][AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING] 409 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,472 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 410 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,423 [LAUGHS] 411 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,429 "Toes, elbows and assholes." 412 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:15,653 I don't give a shit. 413 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,222 I ain't lickin' the asshole. 414 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:19,349 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 415 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:22,662 And you have doo doo crumbs all over this motherfucker. 416 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,489 All right, coming to stage, he was on here before 417 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,528 'cause Steve, you know, last time he was here, he rocked, 418 00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:29,184 and we brung him back again. 419 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,268 And he's gonna do it again and have fun with you guys. 420 00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:34,407 Also he's hosting Apollo now. Give it up for my man, Steve Harvey. 421 00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:36,630 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING][MUSIC PLAYING] 422 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,806 New York, Def Jam, what's happenin'? 423 00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,644 Let's try it again. What's happenin'? 424 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:50,772 AUDIENCE: Wassup?Look at y'all. 425 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,694 [LAUGHS] Ain't you glad you black? 426 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,690 Now, ain't you glad you black? 427 00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:57,472 AUDIENCE: [APPLAUDING] Yeah.Goddamn. 428 00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:59,297 I sit around all the day just thinking, 429 00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:02,085 "What would you do if your ass wasn't black no more?" 430 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,000 Boy, you just have to... 431 00:21:04,045 --> 00:21:06,565 I was sitting on a plane with a white boy the other day. 432 00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:09,443 "You know, you're such a mixed-up people. 433 00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,005 "Some of you are lighter than the others." 434 00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:14,062 I don't give a damn, I'm black. "Look at you." 435 00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:16,668 Look at me. Look at my shit. 436 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,970 Look, look, look at my shit. 437 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:23,886 Look at how full it is. Look at the round nose, big nice-ass lips. 438 00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,374 You're damn right I'm black. Look at the profile. Look. 439 00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,325 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 440 00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:31,904 Look. Look how even the nose and lips are. Look at that. 441 00:21:31,942 --> 00:21:34,602 That's that black, that good shit. 442 00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:36,561 Ain't none of that European look. 443 00:21:36,599 --> 00:21:41,909 Big honk-ass nose sticking way out there. Mouth way back here somewhere. 444 00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:44,782 That's why there ain't more of them in the NBA. 445 00:21:44,825 --> 00:21:47,035 'Cause they ain't got no peripheral vision. 446 00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:51,008 They can't see cross that big honk-ass nose. 447 00:21:51,048 --> 00:21:54,658 You know, Magic used to bring it on the floor. Magic, come on the floor, ha! 448 00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:59,582 White boy come on the floor, gotta look right at you. 449 00:21:59,622 --> 00:22:01,622 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 450 00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:09,894 You know you black. Some advantages to being black. 451 00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:11,587 You gotta give it some thought. 452 00:22:11,634 --> 00:22:13,384 See, don't let them trip you out about your education, 453 00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:15,379 'cause they denied us that for years. 454 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:18,381 But don't ever let them mess you up. Black folk got good old 455 00:22:18,424 --> 00:22:19,824 common-ass sense. 456 00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:22,120 You know what to do. 457 00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:25,646 'Cause there some things you know to do and some stuff you know not to do. 458 00:22:25,692 --> 00:22:27,612 You just know it automatically. 459 00:22:27,650 --> 00:22:29,910 Here are some things you probably ain't never thought about. 460 00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:32,437 Here are some things you ain't ever seen black people do. 461 00:22:32,481 --> 00:22:34,271 Ain't gonna ever see it and here it is. 462 00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:37,435 You ain't ever seen 463 00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:38,966 no black serial killer. 464 00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:44,452 You ain't never seen a black person go out and kill 16, 17 people. 465 00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:46,543 You know why? 'Cause we know better. 466 00:22:46,582 --> 00:22:48,282 We ain't got to go that far. 467 00:22:48,323 --> 00:22:50,723 Hell, we steal a hot dog, we gonna get life. 468 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,890 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 469 00:22:52,936 --> 00:22:55,416 White people don't know. White people wake up, go next door, 470 00:22:55,461 --> 00:22:57,071 and kill everybody in the house. 471 00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:59,334 Go to bed, catch a train, go across town, 472 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,208 kill 15, 16 more people. 473 00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:03,689 You know why? 'Cause they don't know. 474 00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:05,560 They don't think they ass gonna go to jail. 475 00:23:05,601 --> 00:23:07,651 Shit they ain't went to jail for nothing else. 476 00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:13,173 Here's another one. You ain't ever see no black people 477 00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:15,307 out on a highway hitchhiking. 478 00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:18,350 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 479 00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:21,837 'Cause we know good and damn well we ain't getting no goddamn ride! 480 00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:23,918 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 481 00:23:31,497 --> 00:23:34,237 After a while, brother just be waving. "Wassup? 482 00:23:34,282 --> 00:23:37,462 [LAUGHS] "Nice tires, dog." 483 00:23:37,503 --> 00:23:39,373 'Cause we know, man. There's just stuff we can't do. 484 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,938 You just saw the presidential debates, didn't you? 485 00:23:41,985 --> 00:23:44,635 That's another thing you don't ever see no black people doing. 486 00:23:44,684 --> 00:23:47,474 You ain't never see no black people on TV in no debate. 487 00:23:48,731 --> 00:23:50,951 That's 'cause we can't. 488 00:23:50,994 --> 00:23:52,874 We can't argue that long. 489 00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:54,429 See we argue four or five minutes 490 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:56,436 then after that, hell, something gotta happen. 491 00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:58,478 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 492 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,960 The debate gonna end up in the parking lot. 493 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:07,144 "What'd you say in there?" 494 00:24:08,838 --> 00:24:10,668 It ain't gonna happen. 495 00:24:10,710 --> 00:24:12,540 That whole presidential election talkin' about America, 496 00:24:12,581 --> 00:24:13,841 "What's wrong with America?" 497 00:24:13,887 --> 00:24:15,577 They debated about it. 498 00:24:15,628 --> 00:24:18,198 You could have saved them a whole... Could of just asked me. 499 00:24:18,239 --> 00:24:20,239 I know what's wrong with this country. 500 00:24:20,284 --> 00:24:23,074 See, they try to talk about there's crime. That ain't it. 501 00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:26,383 They talkin' about it's unemployment, that ain't it. 502 00:24:26,421 --> 00:24:28,081 They talking about, "There ain't enough jobs." 503 00:24:28,118 --> 00:24:29,508 You know what's wrong with America? 504 00:24:29,555 --> 00:24:31,505 You ain't kicking your kid's ass no more. 505 00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:33,597 That's what's wrong with America.[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 506 00:24:33,646 --> 00:24:36,736 You ain't kicking your kid's ass like you got your ass whooped. 507 00:24:36,779 --> 00:24:38,649 That's what's wrong. You got... Listen to me. 508 00:24:38,694 --> 00:24:40,964 You got to go back to the old school. 509 00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:43,741 You got... Forget this new crap. This "discipline a child." 510 00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:47,616 You got to unload on his little ass. 511 00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:51,230 I know what I'm talking about 'cause I used to get my ass whooped e'erywhere. 512 00:24:51,272 --> 00:24:54,622 My old man... Every... E'erywhere. I said it right, e'erywhere. 513 00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:57,057 See everywhere is a whole lot of places. 514 00:24:57,104 --> 00:24:59,504 E'erywhere is wherever the hell he felt like. 515 00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:01,457 That's why. 516 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,110 'Cause my old man had a simple motto, 517 00:25:03,153 --> 00:25:05,853 "Wherever you show out, that's where you get worked out." 518 00:25:05,895 --> 00:25:07,845 And he wasn't playing either. 519 00:25:07,897 --> 00:25:11,117 You mess up in the grocery store, he'd drown your ass in a gallon of milk. 520 00:25:15,557 --> 00:25:19,557 Can't even kick a kid's ass in public no more. No, white people messed it up. 521 00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:21,605 Gave them little bastards a 1-800 number. 522 00:25:21,650 --> 00:25:23,220 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 523 00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:25,180 They'll call in on your ass, too. 524 00:25:25,219 --> 00:25:27,089 1-800, he whooppin' my ass! 525 00:25:29,397 --> 00:25:31,697 Wish they'd of had this number when I was growing up. 526 00:25:31,747 --> 00:25:34,577 I'd a stayed on the phone. 527 00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,360 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 528 00:25:43,846 --> 00:25:46,496 "Hey! It's me! 529 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:50,155 "You need to get down here 'cause he about to kick my ass again! 530 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:54,070 "It'll be the little short black man on the tree line with the skillet in his hand!" 531 00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:59,649 Goddamn kids got out of hand. Then went over into rap too. 532 00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:01,998 Got new little kitty-ass rap groups. 533 00:26:02,038 --> 00:26:03,998 Kriss Kross, y'all like Kriss Kross? 534 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:07,220 AUDIENCE: [APPLAUDING] Yeah!I can't stand them little rich-ass kids. 535 00:26:07,261 --> 00:26:09,521 Make me sick. Thirty-five-years-old, 536 00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:12,008 I was 34 before I got a credit card. 537 00:26:12,048 --> 00:26:15,488 They little punk-ass making millions of dollars. 538 00:26:15,530 --> 00:26:17,580 Talkin' about some damn "Jump, jump." 539 00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:20,097 Motherfucker... 540 00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:22,363 They got their clothes on backwards, too. 541 00:26:22,406 --> 00:26:25,406 Your daddy would have kicked your ass, you'd put your pants on backwards! 542 00:26:26,802 --> 00:26:28,892 Coming out here. 543 00:26:28,935 --> 00:26:30,495 And what else they going to write a song about except Jump. Jump? 544 00:26:30,545 --> 00:26:32,105 They 13! 545 00:26:32,155 --> 00:26:34,285 Hell, they ain't got the blues! 546 00:26:34,331 --> 00:26:37,421 They woman ain't left them and they ain't no job. 547 00:26:37,465 --> 00:26:39,545 You damn right, jump jump. 548 00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:42,468 You got your pants on backwards, it's time to go pee, 549 00:26:42,513 --> 00:26:43,953 it's goin' be some jumpin'. 550 00:26:45,516 --> 00:26:47,556 I'm Steve Harvey, I'm out of here, yo. 551 00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:49,646 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING][MUSIC PLAYING] 552 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:02,318 Steve Harvey, give it up. Another round of applause. 553 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,579 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING] 554 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:06,893 Bring my man Russell Simmons up here to say goodnight 555 00:27:06,929 --> 00:27:09,319 and thank you guys for coming out. 556 00:27:11,020 --> 00:27:13,110 Thanks for coming out. God bless you. Goodnight. 557 00:27:13,153 --> 00:27:14,763 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 558 00:27:14,807 --> 00:27:16,417 [MUSIC PLAYING] 559 00:27:22,771 --> 00:27:24,771 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 560 00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:02,163 [AUDIENCE CONTINUES CHEERING] 561 00:28:02,213 --> 00:28:06,763 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 45389

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