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1
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? Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:08,040
? Songs that made the hit parade
3
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:11,143
? Guys like us, we had it made
4
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,678
? Those were the days
5
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,116
? And you knew
where you were then
6
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:20,352
? Girls were girls
and men were men
7
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,587
? Mister, we could use a man
8
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:25,891
? Like Herbert Hoover again
9
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,660
? Didn't need no welfare state
10
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,897
? Everybody pulled his weight
11
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:36,101
? Gee, our old LaSalle ran great
12
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:41,440
? Those were the days ?
13
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14
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Oh, honey, uh,
you look a little tired.
15
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,556
What do you say we relax,
16
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:01,726
cuddle up on the couch
and turn the TV on?
17
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:03,728
Nah.
18
00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:07,800
What do you say? We relax, cuddle
up on the couch and turn each other on.
19
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:11,014
I'm sorry, Michael, but the only
chance I get to do my housework
20
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:12,771
is when Joey's asleep.
21
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,217
Yeah. You know,
I've been thinkin',
22
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,186
we can use a trip some place.
23
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:19,678
What do you, what do you, what do
you think about a second honeymoon?
24
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,546
A second honeymoon, where?
25
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,348
How about upstairs?
26
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,452
Someone's in a romantic mood.
27
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,821
Yeah, I was hopin'
you would be, too.
28
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:33,124
You know, uh, honey, lately you...
you haven't had much time for me.
29
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:37,061
Oh, Michael, I haven't had
much time for anything lately.
30
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,997
I've got a baby to
take care of, you know,
31
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,732
and he's startin'
to get diaper rash.
32
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,745
Yeah. You also have a
husband to take care of
33
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:46,305
and he's startin' to
get pimples again.
34
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:49,307
You just don't realize how much
work there is to do in this house.
35
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,209
No, I know. I know.
36
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,518
Maybe, uh...
37
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,724
Maybe we should get
another woman to help out.
38
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,748
I don't need a woman to help me.
39
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,952
I was talkin' about me.
40
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:04,490
Honey, what I'm tryin' to say
is that I just don't feel loved.
41
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,926
I mean, that spontaneity is goin'
out of our marriage. Oh, come on.
42
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,155
No, I mean, before we had Joey,
43
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:13,076
we did whatever we wanted
to, whenever we wanted to.
44
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,000
That's how we got Joey.
45
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,970
I'm not laughin'.
46
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:21,106
Oh, Michael, babies
need lots of attention.
47
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:22,785
You do love your son, don't you?
48
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:26,477
Yeah, yeah. I love
him and I love you.
49
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,346
Oh, and I love you, too.
50
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:31,516
How come in a house that's
so full of love, I'm not gettin' any?
51
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,729
You know what it is,
you know what it is.
52
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:35,593
You... You're
over-concerned with Joey.
53
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,155
You're overprotective.
54
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,868
You're... You're smothering
him with attention.
55
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,770
You know, psychiatrists
call that momism.
56
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,172
You know what that can cause?
57
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,963
Homosexuality, that's right.
58
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:48,266
Oh, Michael, I've never
heard so much misinformation.
59
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,301
Y-You think you
could go that way?
60
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,804
Not me. Joey.
61
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,308
I'm not laughing again.
62
00:02:57,377 --> 00:03:00,211
Oh, well, then don't
accuse me of momism.
63
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,648
I'm no different than
any other new mother.
64
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,393
What time is it? Uh.
65
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:07,552
Mmm. It's 12:00! So what?
66
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,420
But Joey should be awake by now.
67
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,690
That's exactly what
I'm talkin' about.
68
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,537
Gee, if you, if you spend half as
much time with me as you do with Joey,
69
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:16,595
I would be ecstatic.
70
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:21,032
I read about this. The husband
who's jealous of his own child.
71
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:23,535
You're a textbook cliche.
72
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,571
You are quoting textbooks
to me, a college instructor?
73
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,573
Gloria, you are the cliche.
74
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:32,711
The overprotective mother who
accuses the neglected husband of jealousy,
75
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,524
but it is all a
defense mechanism
76
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,058
to cover her own guilt feelings.
77
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,361
Meanwhile, tensions between
the husband and wife mount,
78
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,297
which creates anxiety
and insecurity in a child,
79
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,687
which causes
neurosis in later life.
80
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:46,224
Yeah, I saw that story
on Medical Center.
81
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,960
No, you're not only a
cliche, you're a rerun.
82
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,398
Gloria, I...
83
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,635
I'm just not feeling
important in your life anymore.
84
00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,437
Michael.
85
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,974
Don't you ever feel that way.
86
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:06,477
You... You're the most
important thing in the world to me.
87
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:10,148
You're my husband,
you're my life.
88
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:15,053
You're the dearest, the
sweetest, the sexiest...
89
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,302
The baby's awake. Damn it!
Wait a second, wait a second.
90
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:21,103
Wait a second. I
think he stopped.
91
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,239
Yeah, he was probably just
cryin' in his sleep a little bit.
92
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,983
But... Like I've
been doin' lately.
93
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,478
I should... Yeah, you should,
you should. You should, what?
94
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,382
You should what? You should
kiss your husband, that's what?
95
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,542
Oh, jeez.
96
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,991
Let's not cause a draft, Edith.
97
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:45,283
If they sneeze now
they'd kill each other.
98
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:48,654
Excuse us. Come on,
Archie, we're interrupting.
99
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:52,223
Where are we goin'? I'm
where I wanna be, here.
100
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,837
Hiya, Daddy. Hi, little girl.
101
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,138
Hi. Hi, Ma.
102
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,996
Well, bring Joey out.
I wanna look at him.
103
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:01,032
Arch, uh, you wanna take
Joey for a walk? Oh, yeah.
104
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,936
No, no, no. I'm not walkin'
him in this filthy city here.
105
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:06,715
Jeez, between the
pigeons and the dogs,
106
00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:09,340
you don't know whether
to look up or look down.
107
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:15,747
Ma, uh, Gloria and I were
thinkin' of catching an early movie.
108
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,594
Would you mind takin'
Joey for the afternoon?
109
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,018
Oh, no! We'd love it.
110
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:23,421
And that's nice. A
matinee is always nice.
111
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,423
Yeah, I'd love a matinee.
112
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:28,793
What picture are you gonna see?
113
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,962
Oh, well, we were
gonna go to the Loews.
114
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,999
Loews don't have a matinee.
They don't open till 6:00.
115
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,934
Hey, hey, hey.
116
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,804
Don't you know what
he means by matinee?
117
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,741
Sure.
118
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,609
I don't think you do.
119
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:50,815
Forget it. I'll tell you
on your next birthday.
120
00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,125
Oh!
121
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,729
The light come on.
122
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,098
I'll get Joey.
123
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,047
Oh, no, no, no, no,
Mom. He's not awake yet.
124
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,913
Wait a second! I think I
heard him! I heard him!
125
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,837
Joey, we heard you!
126
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,773
Darling, that's all right.
Grandma's coming. Stop crying!
127
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,082
Yeah, and I didn't
hear nothin' up there.
128
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,190
It's a father's ears,
Arch, a father's ears. Oh.
129
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:24,482
Uh, Gloria, why don't you go
get the formula, huh? That's nice.
130
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,519
Hey, uh, Arch, look,
131
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,855
I really appreciate you
takin' Joey for the afternoon.
132
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,591
I-It means a lot to me.
133
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,997
Jeez.
134
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,434
I mean, don't get
me wrong, Meathead.
135
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:48,139
It ain't that I'm against it, but you
know, it's only 12:00 in the morning.
136
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:55,012
You know, what the hell? Maybe
Joey needs a new little brother, huh?
137
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,250
Come on. Could be, you know.
138
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:02,287
A brother's a nice thing to have.
Brothers help each other in life.
139
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,989
They move right up the
line to get right to the top.
140
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:08,827
For instance, take your Roosevelt
brothers, Franklin and Teddy.
141
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:14,733
Your Rockefeller brothers,
Nelson and Eddie, hmm?
142
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:19,304
And here is the first
of the Stivic brothers.
143
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,305
Shh! He's asleep.
144
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,441
Here are the bottles, Ma. Okay.
145
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,810
Oh, and did you remember
these are for his diaper rash?
146
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,946
Yeah, yeah, don't worry.
We'll take good care of him.
147
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:32,027
Okay. Oh, and, Ma, don't forget
to turn him over once in a while.
148
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:33,429
Oh, sure. Oh, jeez.
149
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,621
Now she'll be flippin'
him all day like a flapjack.
150
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:41,793
Okay, bye. Bye. Bye.
151
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,136
I'm all yours.
152
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,410
What's the matter?
153
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,078
Uh...
154
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,080
I... I don't... I don't know.
155
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:07,485
But, Michael, this is what you
wanted and we're here alone now.
156
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,788
Yeah, but, uh...
157
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:14,091
I-It just seems so planned.
158
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,794
It is.
159
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:19,364
I mean, I w-w-was hopin'
that when it happened,
160
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:23,067
it would happen the way it used
to, you know, spontaneously.
161
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:31,115
What do you want, a massage?
162
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,412
Not if you ask that way.
163
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,728
And if you're gonna
give me a massage,
164
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,831
don't tell me you're gonna
give it, just start givin' it.
165
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:46,591
Don't you see if you tell me
it ruins the surprise? Jeez.
166
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:50,962
All right. Just do
something to surprise me.
167
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:58,770
I can't, Michael.
168
00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:00,838
I'm not in the mood.
169
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,408
I don't feel well.
170
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:06,444
Oh, what's the
date today? Oh, no.
171
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:08,279
Surprise!
172
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,650
That's terrible!
173
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,020
That's... That's not the
kind of surprise I meant.
174
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,100
If you give me a surprise, it's
supposed to make me happy.
175
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,690
That didn't make me happy.
176
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,871
All right, look, look,
look. All right, wait, wait.
177
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,773
All right, c-come
here, come here.
178
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:27,265
L-Look, this is what I'm
talkin' about. Now watch this.
179
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,770
You see that's spontaneous.
180
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:38,409
Um... All right,
wait. Here we go.
181
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,544
Oh, now you're gonna
carry me upstairs?
182
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:43,048
Well, don't say it!
183
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,028
I mean, Gloria, if
you're gonna say it
184
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,051
that takes the
spontaneity out of it.
185
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,420
I'm sorry. Then carry
me out to the kitchen.
186
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:52,590
Damn it! That was
my second idea.
187
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:57,061
Now, look, Gloria, will you
just please don't say anything?
188
00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,450
Let me think of somethin'
else spontaneous to do.
189
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:10,542
Take as long as you want. It's the
first time I've been off my feet all day.
190
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,022
All right, I'll tell you what.
191
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,446
We'll go over to the couch.
192
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,314
I can think a lot
better on the couch.
193
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,428
It's a very spontaneous
piece of furniture.
194
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:19,829
Here we go. Wait a minute.
195
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,097
Where are you?
What's the matter?
196
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,822
I think I hear Joey.
197
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,369
What are you... What are you
talkin' about? I don't hear anything.
198
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,059
No, I heard Joey crying.
199
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:31,863
Gloria, wait. You couldn't possibly
hear him crying, he's next door.
200
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,171
You probably heard a cat.
201
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,367
Michael, I'm sure it's Joey.
202
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,202
I better call Ma and
see if somethin's wrong.
203
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:41,606
Oh, I just can't stand to
think about my baby crying.
204
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:44,242
Gloria, I'm tellin'
you, it... it isn't Joey.
205
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,746
It's that cock-eyed cat that keeps
bangin' into the garbage cans.
206
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,180
I hope so.
207
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,484
Hi, Ma, is Joey crying?
208
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,088
Aha! He is crying.
209
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,923
Why is he crying, Ma?
210
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,560
Then the phone woke him up. Aha.
211
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,929
Well, I'll be right over.
Bye. Wait. What are you...
212
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,243
I'll be back in a minute. Wait a
second. Where... Where are you goin'?
213
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,766
Hey, w-what about me?
214
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,202
Michael, I can't do anything
when my baby's crying.
215
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,270
You can't do anything
when the baby's crying.
216
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,950
You can't do anything
when the baby's asleep!
217
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,674
You're afraid you
might wake him up!
218
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,788
You can't do anything when he's up
'cause you want him to go to sleep!
219
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,712
You can't do anything ever!
220
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:26,050
Gloria, the only way you could do anything
for me is if I have a damn diaper rash!
221
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:29,053
You just don't
understand, do you?
222
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,756
When you come home
from work your day is done,
223
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,025
so for you it's playtime!
224
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:36,427
But for me, it's
still work time.
225
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:39,564
Joey keeps me
busy 24 hours a day.
226
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:42,834
And when I take a lunch
break, it's not mine, it's his.
227
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,214
And as for diaper rash, I'm
surprised you don't have it
228
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,398
'cause you're
acting like a baby.
229
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:55,313
Gloria! Gloria, I'm warnin' you!
230
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:59,617
When you come
back, I'll still be here.
231
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,293
Aw, jeez.
232
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,195
Well, do you want
some more coffee?
233
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:14,499
Never mind the coffee. I'm
hungry, I need more food.
234
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,903
Oh, no. No, you gotta stick
to your diet. That's all you get.
235
00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:21,272
The diet is leavin' me weak.
236
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:26,411
God forbid I belch. I'd
blow myself over backwards.
237
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,249
Hi. Did Joey stop
crying? Oh, hi.
238
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,351
Oh, yeah, yeah. He's all right.
239
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,586
Oh, he's such a good baby.
240
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:40,391
I sung him a lullaby and
he shut his eyes tight.
241
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,394
He was probably
flinchin', Edith.
242
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:47,431
I, uh, I think maybe
I'll have some coffee.
243
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,000
Oh, good.
244
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:56,207
Uh, Daddy, would you mind
if we had a little private talk?
245
00:12:56,275 --> 00:13:01,045
Oh, not at all, little girl. Leave us
alone, Edith. My girl wants to talk to me.
246
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:05,716
Oh, no, Archie. I think
Gloria wants to talk to me.
247
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,519
Is that what you meant?
248
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,723
Just for a few minutes. Why
don't you go look at Joey.
249
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,758
I looked at Joey, and
why ain't he got no hair?
250
00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:18,896
Why don't you watch TV?
251
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,732
There's no sports
or movies on TV.
252
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,536
Only kiddy crapola
and dopey educations.
253
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:29,140
You... You could go
upstairs and take a nap.
254
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,910
I can't sleep. The tree is
scratchin' the house again.
255
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:36,480
I know what I'll do. I know.
I'll go down to Kelcy's.
256
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,950
Oh, no, no, your diet. No beer.
257
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,018
Your diet. No beer.
258
00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:43,120
How the hell am I
gonna kill a little time?
259
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,157
Why don't you go over
and visit with Michael?
260
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,026
That'll kill it, all right.
261
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,666
Gloria, is something wrong?
262
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:59,837
Ma, when I was a baby,
263
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:04,809
did Daddy ever complain
that you were neglecting him?
264
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:07,211
Oh, sure.
265
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,214
But every time I
brung you a bottle,
266
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,384
I made sure I
gave Archie a beer.
267
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:18,956
No, Ma, I don't mean
that kind of neglect.
268
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:22,593
I mean, you know.
269
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,832
Oh.
270
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,402
Oh, yeah.
271
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:39,944
Ma, can't we
please talk about it?
272
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:52,990
You know somethin'? When you
was a baby I had the same problem.
273
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:57,028
But I... I couldn't talk
it over with my mother.
274
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,797
In those days we didn't
even have them books
275
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:03,400
like Everything You Always
Wanted To Know About...
276
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,635
Mmm...
277
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:10,341
And Was Afraid to Ask.
278
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:14,245
Did you read that? Oh, no.
279
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,582
Oh, so then you still
don't know everything.
280
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:22,252
That's right. And
I'm still afraid to ask.
281
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:27,324
But, Gloria...
282
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:30,961
Well, do you think
Mike has a right
283
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:35,299
to feel the way
you say he feels?
284
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:39,237
All I know is that
Joey keeps me so busy
285
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:46,777
that the idea of sex just
doesn't appeal to me right now.
286
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,858
It's like I've sort of put that
part of me away on a shelf.
287
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:54,519
Oh, Gloria, you're
overtired and overworked.
288
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:59,190
Oh, lots of young mothers
feel that way with a new baby.
289
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,992
Why don't you just
talk it over with Mike
290
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:04,728
and tell him how you feel?
291
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,564
I can't.
292
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,377
He's a man and it would be
293
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,446
a terrible blow to his male ego
294
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,337
to feel his wife
doesn't want him.
295
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,706
He just doesn't
understand that right now,
296
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:19,978
I don't want anybody,
not even Robert Redford.
297
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,680
Oh, my...
298
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,252
You are tired.
299
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:43,100
Mama, was there ever a time when
you lost your feelings for Daddy?
300
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:49,340
Well, yeah.
301
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:54,212
There was times when I
put myself in mothballs.
302
00:16:56,216 --> 00:17:01,485
But, Gloria, that didn't
mean I didn't love your father
303
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:07,725
'cause, uh, marriage is more
than two people turnin' out the lights
304
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,228
and not goin' to sleep.
305
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:18,269
Oh, Gloria, you gotta realize
there's two men in your life now,
306
00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:20,738
a big one and a little one.
307
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,073
And they both need attention.
308
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:26,243
So you gotta make time for Mike.
309
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:30,347
You gotta find time to talk with
him and take walks with him.
310
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:34,418
Go to the movies with him, and
pretty soon you'll be surprised
311
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:36,754
what else you're doin' with him.
312
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:44,828
Oh, Ma.
313
00:17:57,943 --> 00:18:01,345
Well... Huh?
314
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:06,216
Make a move, will youse? Spider is
startin' to build a web in your cards.
315
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,520
I'm sorry, Arch.
Who-Whose turn is it?
316
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,422
It's yours. Oh.
317
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,026
Gin.
318
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:29,473
What's the matter?
We're playin' hearts.
319
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:36,880
Sorry, I can't concentrate.
320
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,683
You're tellin' me.
321
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,596
You're fightin'
with Gloria there.
322
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:44,589
Just because youse two have a
fight I get kicked outta my house.
323
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,390
Hey, Arch?
324
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,459
You think I can have
my old room back?
325
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,329
Just... Just for
a couple of days.
326
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:52,941
Just for a couple of days? Yeah.
327
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,766
No.
328
00:18:55,835 --> 00:19:00,438
Last time you moved in there for a
couple of days you stayed for five years.
329
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:03,874
Well, I guess I'll
have to call a friend.
330
00:19:03,942 --> 00:19:05,854
Oh, what are you doin' that for?
331
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,857
You can never solve a problem
by running away from it there.
332
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:12,227
Jeez, if Edith and me went runnin'
outta the house every time we had a fight,
333
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:15,553
you realize how many nights
she would have spent in the park?
334
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:21,336
What the hell were you
fightin' about anyhow?
335
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,327
Arch, you don't
wanna hear about it.
336
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,707
Certainly I wanna
hear about it. What is it?
337
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,165
Sex. I don't wanna
hear about that.
338
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,572
Now there's certain subjects you
should only be talkin' about in a whisper
339
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:38,175
and in very special
places like a saloon.
340
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,491
Hey, how about we
go down to Kelcy's?
341
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,849
Arch, you're not
supposed to go down there.
342
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,350
If we can't talk about it here,
343
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,430
what difference is it gonna
make goin' down to Kelcy's?
344
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,587
All right, bigmouth. You
wanna talk about it here,
345
00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:53,136
talk about it here
but keep it clean.
346
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:59,897
Well, ever since
Joey came along,
347
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,500
Gloria doesn't seem to
have too much time for me.
348
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,137
If you know what I mean.
349
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,572
Oh, jeez.
350
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,613
She had time for you
before, hadn't she?
351
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:16,947
Yeah.
352
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:19,883
So you got a surplus.
You're way ahead.
353
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,486
Arch.
354
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,723
Put your mind on other things.
355
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:27,090
Like what?
356
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:32,029
I don't know. Anything.
Do... Run around the block.
357
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:34,431
When you come back
you jump into a shower,
358
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,401
you top that off with
watching Johnny Carson.
359
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:42,239
That's what he's there
for, to cool people off.
360
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:46,744
Arch, I didn't get married to run around
the block and watch Johnny Carson.
361
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,289
Forget about it. You
don't understand.
362
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:50,814
What are you talkin'
about? I understand plenty.
363
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:54,952
Hey, Edith and me wasn't no
different from you and Gloria.
364
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,555
One time,
365
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:02,359
we was two very young and
romantic people very deeply in love.
366
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,468
When I come back
after three years in Italy,
367
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,064
uh, I was pretty lively there.
368
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:14,905
I needed, she kept up with me.
369
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:23,847
'Til she had Gloria and then
things was different there, see.
370
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:27,417
She became a new young mother
like Gloria's a new young mother.
371
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:29,987
And with all new
young mothers, uh,
372
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:34,024
you know, they, uh, they get a
sense of what you call maternalcy.
373
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:42,866
Well, w-what happens to us?
374
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:46,737
We gotta wait until the
maternalcy wears off,
375
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:50,674
and the, and the wife will
see you recompensated.
376
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,280
But you gotta be strong.
377
00:21:58,283 --> 00:21:59,883
Don't read nothin'.
378
00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:07,591
And don't go runnin'
out to the dirty movies.
379
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:10,761
You stay home, you watch TV,
380
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:14,397
but only the old movies where
they never done nothin, see.
381
00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:18,468
Arch, how... how long is
a guy supposed to wait?
382
00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:20,404
For as long as it takes.
383
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,151
What the hell are
you complainin' about?
384
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:23,674
Other guys do it.
385
00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:25,309
Take guys in prison.
386
00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:27,911
You know what they
do? Don't do that.
387
00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:38,989
Just be patient there and just wait
until Gloria gets back in the mood.
388
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:41,625
Deal the cards.
389
00:22:43,996 --> 00:22:45,429
Hi. I'm back.
390
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:49,133
We wasn't talkin' about nothin',
little girl. Just playing cards.
391
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,634
Um...
392
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:55,238
Daddy, would you mind
if we had a talk alone?
393
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:57,107
No. Not at all, little girl.
394
00:22:57,176 --> 00:22:59,954
Take off, Meathead. My
daughter wants to talk to me.
395
00:22:59,978 --> 00:23:02,112
Arch, I... I think
she means with me.
396
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,682
What, again with this here?
397
00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:09,553
Yeah, I'm sorry. Daddy! Daddy,
no, no, no, you're on a diet.
398
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,000
Of course you
two have one fight,
399
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,368
I get thrown outta two houses.
400
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,759
Now keep your mouth
shut about the pie!
401
00:23:30,343 --> 00:23:33,210
I'm... I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
402
00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:36,613
I'm sorry I got mad at you.
403
00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:39,616
Guess I haven't been very
good company lately, huh?
404
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,618
I know.
405
00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:46,290
Gloria, but I... I understand. I
mean, you're very busy with the baby.
406
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,361
Thank you, Michael.
407
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,329
You're welcome, Gloria.
408
00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:58,402
Would you like to take a
walk or maybe go to a movie?
409
00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:01,038
You really want to?
410
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:03,573
Yeah.
411
00:24:03,642 --> 00:24:08,144
Nah, y-y-you're tired. We'll
just stay home and play cards.
412
00:24:10,049 --> 00:24:11,782
Thank you, Michael.
413
00:24:13,853 --> 00:24:15,719
You're welcome, Gloria.
414
00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:36,640
That was spontaneous.
415
00:24:39,612 --> 00:24:41,011
Thank you, Gloria.
416
00:24:42,048 --> 00:24:43,747
You're welcome, Michael.
417
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,717
I love you.
418
00:24:49,021 --> 00:24:50,654
I love you, too.
419
00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:19,695
All in the Family
was recorded on tape
420
00:25:19,719 --> 00:25:21,384
before a live audience.
421
00:25:22,305 --> 00:26:22,911
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422
00:26:22,961 --> 00:26:27,511
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