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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,623 MAN: That's right. 2 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,917 New York. 3 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:44,925 It's 1958. 4 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:49,300 Anyway, for a few more minutes it is. 5 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:53,263 Come midnight, it's gonna be 1959. 6 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:57,475 A whole other feeling. The new year. 7 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,602 The future. 8 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:05,275 Yeah, Old Daddy Earth fixing to start one more trip around the sun. 9 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:09,328 Everybody hoping this ride round be a little more giddy... 10 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,576 ...a little more gay. 11 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:16,160 Yup, all over town, champagne corks is a-popping. 12 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:22,375 Over in the Waldorf, the big shots is dancing to the strains of Guy Lombardo. 13 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:28,556 In Times square, the little folks is watching and waiting for that big ball to drop. 14 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:33,222 They're all trying to catch hold of one moment of time... 15 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:39,400 ...to be able to say, "Right now! This is it! I got it!" 16 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,022 [CHUCKLES] 17 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,649 Of course, by then it'll be past. 18 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:49,281 But they're all happy, everybody having a good time. 19 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,203 Well, almost everybody. 20 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:56,500 There's a few lost souls floating around out there. 21 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,538 Now, if you all ain't from the city... 22 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:04,250 ...we got something here called "the rat race. " 23 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:08,759 Got a way of chewing folks up so that they don't want no celebrating... 24 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,135 ...don't want no cheering up. 25 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,014 Don't care nothing about no New Year's. 26 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:19,728 Out of hope, out of rope, out of time. 27 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,603 This here is Norville Barnes. 28 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,438 That office he's stepping out of... 29 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:30,322 ...is the office of the president of Hudsucker Industries. 30 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,448 That's his office. 31 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,826 How'd he get so high? 32 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:39,035 And why's he feeling so low? 33 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,212 Is he really going to do it? 34 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:46,588 Is Norville really gonna jelly up the sidewalk? 35 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:52,298 Well, the future, that's something you can never tell about. 36 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:56,469 But the past, heh-heh... 37 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,559 ...that's another story. 38 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,425 [BUZZER SOUNDS] 39 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,446 [BUZZER SOUNDS] 40 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,658 In the third quarter we saw no signs of weakening. 41 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,960 We're up 18 percent over last year's third-quarter gross... 42 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,583 ...and that, needless to say, is a new record. 43 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:34,385 Our competition continues to flag and we continue to take up the slack. 44 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,212 Market shares in most divisions is increasing... 45 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:40,720 ...and we have opened seven new regional offices. 46 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,301 Our international division... 47 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:46,639 ...is also showing vigorous signs of upward movement for the last six months... 48 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:50,147 ...and we're looking at some exciting things in R&D. 49 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:33,811 Sub-franchising. Don't talk to me about sub-franchising. 50 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,272 We're making so much money in sub-franchising... 51 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,152 ...it isn't even funny. 52 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:42,361 Our nominees and assigns continue to multiply and expand... 53 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:46,199 ...extending our influence nationally and abroad. 54 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,704 Our owned and operateds are performing... 55 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,163 ...far beyond our expectations both here and abroad. 56 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,919 And the Federal Tax Act of 1958... 57 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:59,799 ...is giving us a swell write-off on our plant and heavies. 58 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:28,373 And our last debenture issue was this year's fastest seller. 59 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,292 So third quarter and year-to-date... 60 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:35,293 ...we have set a new record in sales, a new record in gross... 61 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,171 ...a new record in pre-tax earnings... 62 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,470 ...a new record in after-tax profits... 63 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,549 ...and our stock has split twice in the past year. 64 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,133 In short... 65 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,843 [WATCH WINDING] 66 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,514 ...we're loaded. 67 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,645 [ALL CHUCKLING] 68 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,021 [TICKING] 69 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:00,860 [CLEARS THROAT] 70 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,364 Mr. Hudsucker? 71 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,366 [CAR HORN HONKS] 72 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,470 [SCREAMING] 73 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,918 [SCREAMING] 74 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,093 [BELL TOLLING] 75 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:35,268 It's a pity to waste a whole Montecristo. 76 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,845 He could've opened the window. 77 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,772 Waring Hudsucker never did anything the easy way. 78 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:44,023 Why? Why did he do it? Everything was going so well. 79 00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:47,106 What, am I a headshrinker? Maybe the man was unhappy. 80 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,156 [SOBBING] He didn't look unhappy. 81 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:53,828 - He didn't look rich. - He was never an easy man to figure out. 82 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,747 He built this company with his bare hands. 83 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,918 Every step he took was a step up... 84 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,995 ...except, of course, this last one. 85 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,331 Sure, sure he was a swell fella... 86 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,837 ...but when the president, chairman of the board... 87 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,345 ...and owner of 87 percent of the company stock drops... 88 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,802 - ...44 floors... - Forty-five. 89 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,223 Counting the mezzanine. 90 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,143 Then the company, too, has a problem. Stillson! 91 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,939 What exactly is the disposition of Waring's stock? 92 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,562 Well, as you know... 93 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,643 ...Hud left no will and no family. 94 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,731 The company bylaws are quite clear in that event. 95 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:32,363 "His entire portfolio will be converted into common stock... 96 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:36,913 ...and will be sold over the counter as of the first of the fiscal year... 97 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,411 - ...following his demise." - Meaning? 98 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,120 Meaning simply that Waring's stock and control of the company... 99 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:46,798 ...will be made available to the public January 1st. 100 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,668 Do you mean to say... 101 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:53,506 ...that any slob in a smelly T-shirt will be able to buy Hudsucker stock? 102 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,723 The company bylaws are quite clear. 103 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,847 My God! You're animals! 104 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:02,272 How can you discuss his stock when the man has just leapt 45 floors? 105 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,021 - Forty four. - Not counting the mezzanine. 106 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,273 Quit showboating, Addison. The man is gone. 107 00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:10,651 The question now is whether we'll let John Q. Public waltz in here... 108 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,825 - ...and buy our company. - What are you suggesting, Sydney? 109 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,120 Certainly we can't afford to buy a controlling interest. 110 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,618 Not while the stock is this strong. 111 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,909 How soon before Hud's paper hits the market? 112 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,289 - January 1st. - Thirty days. 113 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,167 - Four weeks. - A month at the most. 114 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:29,500 One month to make the blue-chip investment of the century... 115 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,085 ...look like a round-trip ticket on the Titanic. 116 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,546 We play up the fact that Hud is dead. 117 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,427 ALL: Long live the Hud! 118 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,601 - We depress the stock. - To the point where we can buy 50 percent. 119 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,803 - Fifty one. - Not counting the mezzanine. 120 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,388 - It could work. - It should work. 121 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,224 - It would work. - It's working already. 122 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:51,279 Waring Hudsucker is abstract art on Madison Avenue. 123 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:55,985 What we need now is a new president who will inspire panic in the stockholder. 124 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,489 - A puppet. - A proxy. 125 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,116 MAN: A pawn. 126 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,574 Sure, sure, some jerk... 127 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,160 ...we can really push around. 128 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:10,047 You punch in at 8:30 every morning, at 7:30 following a business holiday... 129 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,501 ...unless it's a Monday, then you punch in 8:00. 130 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,929 - Punch in late and they dock you. MAN: This goes to seven! Urgent. 131 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,724 Incoming articles get a voucher. Outgoing articles provide a voucher. 132 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,347 Move any article without a voucher and they dock you! 133 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,975 Take this up to the secretarial pool on three! ASAP! 134 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,898 Letter-size, a green voucher! Folder-size, a yellow voucher! 135 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:31,319 - Parcel-size, a maroon voucher! - This is for Morgatross! Chop-chop! 136 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,523 Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 137 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,109 6-7-8-7-0-4-9-Alpha-6! 138 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,491 That is your employee number! It will not be repeated! 139 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:43,323 Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. 140 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,874 All right, this goes up to 27! 141 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,873 Return a waiver! Do not return without a signed waiver! 142 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:52,298 Inter-office mail is code 37! Intra-office mail is 37-3. 143 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,671 Outside mail is 3-37. 144 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,469 Code it wrong and they dock you! 145 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,639 I was supposed to have this on 2810 minutes ago! 146 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,261 This has been your orientation. 147 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,470 Is there anything you do not understand or understand partially? 148 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:08,352 If you have not been fully orientated, you must file a complaint with Personnel! 149 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,400 File a faulty complaint and they dock you! 150 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,070 [WHISTLING] 151 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:20,739 Kloppitt. Kloppitt, Kloppitt... 152 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,320 Max Kloppitt. 153 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,656 "Max Kloppitt, Jr." 154 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,752 What do you do when the envelope is too big for the slot? 155 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:40,213 Well, if you fold them, they fire you. 156 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,676 I usually throw them out. 157 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,900 - Just got hired today. OLD MAN: Mm-hm. 158 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,695 - Terrific. NORVILLE: You know, entry level. 159 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,613 OLD MAN: Tell me about it. 160 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,409 But I got big ideas. 161 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,698 I'm sure you do. 162 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,749 For instance, take a look at this sweet baby. 163 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,962 I developed it myself. 164 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,790 Yes, sirree, this is my ticket upstairs. 165 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,966 You know, for kids. 166 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,264 Terrific. 167 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,475 So you see, I won't be working in the mail room long. 168 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,771 No, I don't guess you will be. 169 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:32,941 - How long you been here? - Forty-eight years. 170 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:37,813 Next year they move me up to parcels if I'm lucky. 171 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,114 MAN [ON PA]: Attention Hudsucker employees! 172 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,487 Attention Hudsucker employees! 173 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:46,413 We regretfully announce that at 30 seconds after the hour of noon... 174 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,704 ...Hudsucker time... 175 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,658 ...Waring Hudsucker, founder, president... 176 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,666 ...and chairman of the board of Hudsucker Industries... 177 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,213 ...merged with the infinite. 178 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:58,383 To mark this occasion of corporate loss... 179 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:03,134 ...we ask that all employees observe a moment of silent contemplation. 180 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,472 [EMPLOYEE COUGHS] 181 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,475 MAN [ON PA]: Thank you for your kind attention. 182 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:14,523 This moment has been duly noted on your timecards... 183 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:18,194 ...and will be deducted from your pay. That is all. 184 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,816 [ALARMS WAILING] 185 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,863 - Blue letter! - Blue letter! 186 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,784 They're bringing down a blue letter! 187 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,487 OLD MAN: It's a blue letter. 188 00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,861 Top, top level. 189 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,739 Confidential communication between the brass. 190 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,574 Usually bad news. 191 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,907 They hate blue letters upstairs. 192 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,124 - Hate them. - You! 193 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,458 Yeah, you! Barnes! You don't look busy! 194 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,343 Think you can handle a blue letter? 195 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,218 This letter was sent this morning by the big man himself... 196 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,014 ...that's right, Waring Hudsucker! 197 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:32,765 It's addressed to Sid Mussburger, Hudsucker's right-hand man! 198 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,516 It's a blue letter! 199 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,936 That means you got to put it right in Mussburger's hands. 200 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,359 No secretaries! No receptionists! 201 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,530 No colleagues! No excuses! 202 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,231 Mussburger! 203 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:51,117 Hi, my name's Buzz, I got the fuzz, I make the elevator do what she does. 204 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,328 Hang it up to dry. What's your pleasure, buddy? 205 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,251 - Forty-four. - Forty-four, the top-brass floor. 206 00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:00,204 Say, buddy, what takes 50 years to get to the top floor... 207 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,165 ...and 30 seconds to get down? 208 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,717 Waring Hudsucker! You get it, buddy? 209 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:08,421 Say, buddy! Mr. Kline, up to nine. Mrs. Dell, Personnel. 210 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,302 - Mr. Levin, 37. - Thirty-six. 211 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,180 Walk down! Ladies and gentlemen, please step to the rear. 212 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:16,638 - Here comes the gargantuan Mr. Grier. - Buzz. 213 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,771 Say, buddy, who's the most liquid businessman on the street? 214 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,227 Waring Hudsucker. Say, buddy. 215 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:27,486 When is the sidewalk fully dressed? When it's wearing Hudsucker! Ha-ha-ha. 216 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,694 You get it, buddy? It's a pun, it's a knee-slapper... 217 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:34,155 ...it's a play on... Jesus, Joseph and Mary, is that a blue letter? 218 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:39,460 Why didn't you tell a guy? Hold on, folks, we're express to the top floor! 219 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,877 [ELEVATOR WHIRRING] 220 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,214 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 221 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,768 Good luck, buddy. 222 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,686 You're gonna need it. Ha-ha-ha. 223 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,025 [SCRAPING] 224 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:12,701 [CLEARS THROAT] 225 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,495 Mr. Mussburger's office? 226 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,635 [CLEARS THROAT] 227 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,758 [IN SOFT VOICE] Hello. 228 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:17,718 - Do you have an appointment? - No. 229 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:22,021 - Shall we look in the book? Hmm? - Ma'am, we shall... 230 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,270 - We don't seem to be in the book. - I wouldn't be. 231 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:29,445 If we had an appointment, we'd be in the book. 232 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,192 [PANTING] I have this, uh... 233 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,523 Oh, here it is. Heh. 234 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,280 [SCREAMING] 235 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,913 MUSSBURGER: Gambotz? 236 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,457 Harry Gambotz? 237 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:45,036 No, too risky. He's green but he's not slow. 238 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:46,958 Who is he? 239 00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:50,007 No, I want an imbecile, not a cipher or you'd have the job. 240 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,168 Nuh-nuh. 241 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,470 They moved him to grommets and O-rings. 242 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,138 He's doing pretty well. 243 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,638 No, no, not, McClanahan. 244 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,891 He bungled the Teleyard merger, thinks he's got something to prove. 245 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,847 Who let you in? 246 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:08,650 Atwater? Tremendous. Except I just fired him last week. 247 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,228 WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Mr. Mussburger... 248 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,904 ...Mr. Bumstead's waiting downstairs. 249 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,198 - I'll be right there. WOMAN: Yes, Mr. Mussburger. 250 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:15,490 Spit it out! 251 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,568 - I, uh... - Yeah? 252 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,200 Well, maybe you're the company's biggest moron. 253 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:24,034 We can't use Morris. Been here too long. He's a nice guy with too many friends. 254 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:27,495 In fact, why don't you fire him? Scratch that, I'll fire him. 255 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,455 Make it fast, huh, fast! 256 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,540 WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Mr. Bumstead is growing restless. 257 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,922 MUSSBURGER: Tell him I'll be right there. Give him a magazine. 258 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,548 What, are you a mute? 259 00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:37,175 [PHONE RINGS] 260 00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,553 How's the stock doing? Bad? 261 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,681 Well, it's not bad enough. Listen, chump. 262 00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:46,935 Either you find me a ding-dong or tender your key to the executive washroom. 263 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:50,689 That goes double for you, pal. Ear-clay? Ood-gay! 264 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:57,525 This better be good. I'm in a bad mood. 265 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:01,784 Sir, I've got something for you from the mail room, but first... 266 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:06,959 ...if I could take a minute of your very valuable time to show you something... 267 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:10,333 ...I've been working on for the past two or three years. 268 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,753 [METAL BALLS STRIKING] 269 00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:18,721 You know, for kids. 270 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,637 It's perfect for Hudsucker, not that I'm any great genius. 271 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,061 They say inspiration is 99 percent perspiration... 272 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,138 ...in my case it's at least twice that... 273 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,065 - ...but I've got to tell you, this sweet... - Wait a minute! 274 00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:39,776 Huh. 275 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,926 Hmm. 276 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,361 Sit down, son. 277 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,115 Go ahead. 278 00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,239 Try it on. 279 00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:37,299 Put your feet up. 280 00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:42,554 Go ahead. 281 00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:48,136 Let's get to know one another, shall we? 282 00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,638 Let's chat. 283 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:54,600 Man-to-man. 284 00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:04,236 Now then, you're from the basement, aren't you? 285 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,368 And weren't blessed with much... 286 00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:10,995 ...education? 287 00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:13,995 Well, I am a college graduate. 288 00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:16,626 But you did not excel in your studies. 289 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:19,504 - Well, I... I made Dean's List. - Oh. 290 00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,927 At the Muncie College of Business Administration. 291 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:23,504 [CHUCKLES] 292 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:26,807 And your friends, they called you "jerk," didn't they? 293 00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,054 Mm, unh-uhn. 294 00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:30,135 - "Dope?" "Dipstick?" - Mm-mm. No. 295 00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:32,847 "Lamebrain?" "Schmo?" Not even behind your back? 296 00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:35,854 Well, as a matter they voted me "Most Likely to Succeed." 297 00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:37,310 You're fired. 298 00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:39,065 [BOTH GRUNTING] 299 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:43,024 Get your feet off my desk, get out of my office. 300 00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:45,155 Leave your apron in the locker room. 301 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,360 Oh, my God! 302 00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:50,948 The Bumstead contract. I've been working on that deal for four years! 303 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,204 Get out of here! I'll take care of it! Get out. 304 00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:57,129 You could have destroyed the most sensitive document of my career. 305 00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,752 WOMAN: Mr. Bumstead is threatening to leave the building. 306 00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:01,083 I'm on my way down. 307 00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,885 We need the first page of the contract retyped. 308 00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:05,053 [PHONE RINGS] 309 00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:06,722 WOMAN: Yes, Mr. Mussburger. 310 00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:10,142 Yeah? Uh-huh. Yeah. 311 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:11,969 Out! Out of the office! 312 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,977 Down three points, huh? 313 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:18,525 That's encouraging. How about New York? 314 00:25:19,435 --> 00:25:21,529 Not that way, through the door! 315 00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:24,232 WOMAN: Sir, it'll take three hours to retype the Bumstead contract... 316 00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:28,031 MUSSBURGER: Where are you going? Get out of here! Stop that! 317 00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,953 WOMAN: Mr. Bumstead's threatening to leave. 318 00:25:30,154 --> 00:25:31,246 Not the whole contract, just the first page. 319 00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:32,414 [NORVILLE MUMBLING] 320 00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:34,491 I'll be there. Give him another magazine. 321 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,702 WOMAN: He says he'll leave. MUSSBURGER: I said I'll be there! 322 00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:38,912 And you're wife's been trying to reach you. 323 00:25:39,121 --> 00:25:42,341 Up on your feet! We don't crawl here at Hudsucker Industries! 324 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,134 - My leg is on fire! - No assumptions! 325 00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:48,589 It's early yet. Just let me know where we stand at the closing bell. 326 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,515 [PHONE RINGING] 327 00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:54,846 [GRUNTS] 328 00:25:57,431 --> 00:25:59,775 Oh, my God, the Bumstead contract! 329 00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,228 [NORVILLE MUMBLING] 330 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:07,157 No magazines! No coffee! 331 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:12,284 Mussburger! I wanna see Mussburger! Or did he jump out a window too? 332 00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:16,576 Don't worry, Mr. Mussburger, I got you! I got you by your pants. 333 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,330 Pants? 334 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,846 Mr. Mussburger, I'm gonna give your pants a nice double stitch. 335 00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:33,927 It'll make them real strong and you're gonna look real sharp. 336 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:39,265 - No, single stitch is fine. - But the double stitch, she lasts forever. 337 00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:43,895 Why on earth would I want a double stitch? 338 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:45,821 To pad your account. 339 00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,819 Single stitch is fine. 340 00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:55,451 Damn! 341 00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:01,125 [HUMMING] 342 00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:05,208 Oh, what the heck! Mr. Mussburger is such a nice man... 343 00:27:05,415 --> 00:27:08,544 ...I'm gonna give him a double stitch anyway. Heh-heh-heh. 344 00:27:09,086 --> 00:27:12,807 Ah. That's some strong stitch, you bet! 345 00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:25,937 [ALL LAUGHING] 346 00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,876 [NORVILLE LAUGHING] 347 00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:53,012 [CONTINUES LAUGHING] 348 00:27:57,259 --> 00:27:59,227 [GROUP LAUGHING] 349 00:28:20,908 --> 00:28:22,876 [LAUGHING] 350 00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,636 [LAUGHING] 351 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:01,741 AL: "The Einstein of Enterprise." 352 00:29:01,949 --> 00:29:04,327 "The Edison of Industry." 353 00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:07,580 "The Billion-Dollar Cranium!" 354 00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:11,174 "Idea Man!" 355 00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:14,553 And not one of you has given me a story on him! 356 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:16,596 Bunch of lamebrains! 357 00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:19,141 Facts, figures, charts. They never sold a newspaper! 358 00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,935 I read this morning's Argus, let me tell you something. 359 00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:24,809 I'd wrap a fish in it! I'd use it as kindling! 360 00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:27,607 I'd train my poodle on it if he wasn't a French poodle... 361 00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:29,526 ...and partial to pages of Paris-Soir. 362 00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:32,650 But I wouldn't shell out a hard-earned nickel to read the thing! 363 00:29:32,854 --> 00:29:34,777 Come on, chief, give us a break. 364 00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:37,826 Sure, Tibbs. Take a break. 365 00:29:38,026 --> 00:29:40,575 Go to Florida. Lie in the sun. 366 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:43,373 Wait for a coconut to drop. File a story on it. 367 00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:46,793 It'd be more of a grabber than your piece on the county grain surplus! 368 00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:49,668 The human angle! That's what sells papers! 369 00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:53,171 We need a front page with a heart and the Idea Man can put it there! 370 00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:55,002 Look, chief, if we had more access... 371 00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:57,759 If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump it's ass a-hopping. 372 00:29:57,963 --> 00:29:59,761 I don't want excuses, I want results! 373 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:02,514 What makes the Idea Man tick? Where's he from? 374 00:30:02,718 --> 00:30:06,348 I want to know everything about him! Has he got a girl? Has he got parents? 375 00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:08,603 Everybody has parents. 376 00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:10,855 All right, how many? 377 00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:14,522 How about it, Parkinson? You've been awful quiet over there. 378 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:16,858 - Uh... - Still waters run deep. 379 00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,693 Only thing deep with Parkinson are the holes in his ears. 380 00:30:19,901 --> 00:30:21,744 Yes, Idea Man. 381 00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:25,370 What are his hopes and dreams, his desires and aspirations? 382 00:30:25,574 --> 00:30:28,202 Does he think all the time or a certain portion of the day? 383 00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:30,583 How tall is he? Shoe size? Where does he sleep? 384 00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:32,209 What does he have for breakfast? 385 00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:34,291 Does he put jam on his toast or doesn't he? 386 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,547 If not, why not and since when? 387 00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:38,716 Well? 388 00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:41,719 Ah. You're useless. 389 00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:44,722 Yes. Idea Man. "Creator." 390 00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:47,975 "Innovator." "Cerebrator." 391 00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,898 WOMAN: Fake! - Huh? 392 00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,816 I tell you, the guy's a phony. 393 00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:53,564 AL: Phony, huh? - As a three-dollar bill. 394 00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,191 - Says who? - Says me, Amy Archer! 395 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:57,739 Why is he an Idea Man? Because Hudsucker says he is? 396 00:30:57,939 --> 00:31:00,567 What are his ideas? Why can't anyone interview him? 397 00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:03,404 Five bucks says she mentions her Pulitzer. 398 00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:05,580 Again? You're on. 399 00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:07,829 Just take a look at the mug on this guy. 400 00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:10,786 The jutting eyebrows, the simian forehead, the idiotic grin. 401 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:15,295 He has a face only a mother could love on payday. 402 00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:18,093 The only story here is how this guy made a monkey out of you, AI. 403 00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:19,260 [GIBBERS] 404 00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:21,008 Yeah, monkey or not, I'm still editor of this rag. 405 00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:24,217 You were doing the piece on the FBI. "Hoover: When Will He Marry?" 406 00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:27,428 - I filed it yesterday. Nice tie, Earl. - Well, do a follow-up. 407 00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:29,559 "Hoover: Crime Buster or Pantywaist?" 408 00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:33,267 The rest of you mugs get off your brains and get me that Idea Man story! 409 00:31:33,475 --> 00:31:36,194 AI, he's the bunk. 410 00:31:41,983 --> 00:31:44,452 - I'll stake my Pulitzer on it! MAN: Hmm. 411 00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:48,289 Say, buddy, where'd you get the new duds? 412 00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:51,790 Say, buddy, how did old bucket butt like his blue letter? Heh. 413 00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:55,338 Did he bust a gut? Did he die? Well, hello, Mr. Mussburger. 414 00:31:55,539 --> 00:31:58,258 - Lobby, we haven't got all day. - Right away, Mr. Mussburger. 415 00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,593 How are you this fine morning, sir? 416 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,722 It's been a pleasure serving you today, sir. 417 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,766 It's been a pleasure serving you too, uh, buddy. 418 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:09,015 Uh, Sid, shouldn't we be a little concerned... 419 00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:11,972 ...with the downward spiral of our stock these past few days? 420 00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:14,478 You're the expert, but at the Muncie College... 421 00:32:14,683 --> 00:32:16,435 Relax, it's only natural... 422 00:32:16,643 --> 00:32:19,988 ...in a period of transition for the more timid element to run for cover. 423 00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:21,656 Like I said, you're the expert... 424 00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:24,280 ...but do you remember the plan I outlined for you... 425 00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:27,328 ...the day I set fire to your office? The day I was promoted? 426 00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:32,786 I do remember and I was impressed. But that's all forgotten now. 427 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:35,374 NORVILLE: Oh. Thank you, Sid. 428 00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:39,341 The reason I mention it is it requires such a small capital investment... 429 00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:41,009 Again, you are the expert here. 430 00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:43,428 ...but there's such an enormous potential profit... 431 00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:46,632 ...given the discretionary income of the burgeoning middle-class. 432 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:47,841 [TIRES SCREECH] 433 00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:50,143 So if you agree, I'd like to bounce the idea off a few people at lunch. 434 00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:51,515 Sure, sure. 435 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,350 Tell whoever you want. I'd like to hear about it at some point too. 436 00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:09,205 - I got gas, Benny. - Yeah. Tell me about it. 437 00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:12,374 LOU: No kidding, Benny. I got gas. 438 00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:15,919 BENNY: You get the special? LOU: Far from it. 439 00:33:17,787 --> 00:33:19,255 [LOU WHISTLES] 440 00:33:19,456 --> 00:33:21,174 LOU: Enter the dame. 441 00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,843 BENNY: There's one in every story. 442 00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:26,718 LOU: Ten bucks says she's looking for a handout. 443 00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:30,267 BENNY: Twenty bucks says not here, she don't find one. 444 00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:33,220 LOU: She's looking for her mark. BENNY: She finds him. 445 00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:38,559 LOU: She sits down and orders a light lunch. 446 00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:41,816 BENNY: How will she pay for this lunch? 447 00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:45,445 LOU: She looks through her purse. BENNY: No money. 448 00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:48,152 LOU: The mark notices. 449 00:33:48,777 --> 00:33:52,077 - He's not noticing, Benny. BENNY: Maybe he's wise. 450 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,703 LOU: He don't look wise. 451 00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:57,335 BENNY: Plan two. 452 00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,459 Here come the waterworks. 453 00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:01,711 LOU: Yellowstone. BENNY: Old Faithful. 454 00:34:01,915 --> 00:34:03,883 LOU: Hello, Niagara. 455 00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,837 BENNY: He notices. LOU: She's distressed. 456 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:08,843 BENNY: He's concerned. 457 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,220 LOU: She explains her predicament. 458 00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:16,021 LOU AND BENNY [IN UNISON]: And enter the light lunch. 459 00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:20,601 BENNY: She's got other problems. LOU: There's illness in the family. 460 00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:23,608 BENNY: Her mother needs an operation. LOU: Urgently. 461 00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:26,565 BENNY: Adenoids. LOU: No, Benny. 462 00:34:27,023 --> 00:34:29,151 Lumbago. 463 00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:31,532 BENNY: That gag's got whiskers on it. 464 00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:34,410 LOU: Uh-oh. He ain't biting, Benny. 465 00:34:34,614 --> 00:34:37,618 BENNY: She's losing him, Lou. LOU: Maybe he's wise. 466 00:34:37,826 --> 00:34:39,954 BENNY: He don't look wise. 467 00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:42,789 LOU: How does she pull this out? BENNY: He's getting away. 468 00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:46,423 LOU: She better think fast. BENNY: She isn't. 469 00:34:46,626 --> 00:34:48,754 LOU AND BENNY [IN UNISON]: She is! 470 00:34:48,962 --> 00:34:50,805 LOU: She's good, Benny. 471 00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:53,134 BENNY: She's damn good, Lou. 472 00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:56,095 Can I get you boys anything else? 473 00:34:58,179 --> 00:34:59,772 Bromo. 474 00:35:00,181 --> 00:35:01,774 Bromo. 475 00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:06,980 AMY: I'm sorry we had to take the stairs. It was just that horrible elevator boy. 476 00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:10,112 I can't say how much I appreciate your listening to my story. 477 00:35:10,317 --> 00:35:14,322 I'm lucky to find someone in this bustling city with a stout heart and a ready ear. 478 00:35:14,529 --> 00:35:17,453 At any rate, there I was traveling this great country. 479 00:35:17,657 --> 00:35:18,783 Some I met were kind to me, others exceedingly cruel. 480 00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:20,039 [NORVILLE PANTING] 481 00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:22,462 Traveling by motor bus, rail, even by thumb. 482 00:35:22,662 --> 00:35:23,959 The couch, please. 483 00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:27,589 Hoarding every dollar, counting every nickel, pinching every penny. 484 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,511 It's been a long road leading to the coffee shop downstairs. 485 00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:34,091 Not that I'd trade a day, an hour, a moment of it for anything. 486 00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:35,721 I don't know what came over me. 487 00:35:35,925 --> 00:35:37,848 It was the shock of eating after so long... 488 00:35:38,053 --> 00:35:40,932 ...without the enzymes kicking in after so long... 489 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:44,769 [MUTED DIALOGUE] 490 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:48,192 Then you couldn't possibly know what it is to be tired and hungry. 491 00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:50,319 - Hungry, anyway. - I don't wanna bore you... 492 00:35:50,523 --> 00:35:52,742 ...with all details of my life. Not a happy story. 493 00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:55,240 I'm jobless but not for want of trying. 494 00:35:55,445 --> 00:35:58,915 I'm friendless, with no one to take care of me and had you not come along... 495 00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:01,334 - ...exactly when you did... NORVILLE: I, myself... 496 00:36:01,534 --> 00:36:03,787 At any rate, I arrived in town not 10 days ago... 497 00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:07,340 ...full of dreams and aspirations, anxious to make my way in the world... 498 00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:08,792 ...a little naive perhaps... 499 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,048 ...but armed with determination, work ethic... 500 00:36:11,252 --> 00:36:12,720 ...and a belief in the future... 501 00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:14,889 - I, myself... AMY:...only to have that belief... 502 00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:18,344 ...that unsullied optimism, dashed against the marble of the workplace. 503 00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:21,555 Such is life. Seek and you shall find. Work and you shall prosper. 504 00:36:21,763 --> 00:36:23,231 - Cigarette? - No, thank you. 505 00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:25,809 Seek and you shall find, work and you shall prosper. 506 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,236 These were the watchwords of my education... 507 00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:30,188 ...the values instilled in me... 508 00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:33,526 ...while I was growing up in a little town you've never heard of. 509 00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:35,235 - Mind if I join you? - Be my guest. 510 00:36:35,443 --> 00:36:37,537 A little town you've probably never heard of... 511 00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:39,535 ...a dusty crossroads of which you've probably never heard. 512 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:40,740 [SCREAMS] 513 00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,124 Excuse me. Executive washroom. 514 00:36:45,829 --> 00:36:47,456 [NORVILLE GROANING] 515 00:36:47,664 --> 00:36:49,416 Are you all right? 516 00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:51,092 [NORVILLE YELLING] 517 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:54,466 Is it your lunch? The chicken à la king? 518 00:36:56,589 --> 00:37:01,641 - Is the à la king repeating on you? - No, I'm fine. You were saying? 519 00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:04,472 Uh... 520 00:37:04,681 --> 00:37:06,934 [IN LOW VOICE] Values, watchwords, tender years. 521 00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:10,772 [IN NORMAL VOICE] A town you've probably never heard of. 522 00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:13,448 Muncie, Indiana. 523 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:18,870 - You're from Muncie? - Why, yes. Do you know it? 524 00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:24,285 Uh... Uhn! 525 00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:26,661 [NORVILLE YELLING AND GRUNTING] 526 00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:37,805 [SINGING] Fight on 527 00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:41,306 Fight on Dear old Muncie 528 00:37:41,509 --> 00:37:42,806 Fight on 529 00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:45,480 Hoist the gold and blue 530 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,480 You'll be tattered Torn and hurting 531 00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:54,315 Once the Muncie's done with 532 00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:57,776 You 533 00:37:57,984 --> 00:38:00,908 You 534 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:06,585 - Go, Eagles! - Go, Eagles! 535 00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:09,208 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 536 00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:11,794 A Muncie girl! 537 00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:13,754 - What do you know about that? - Hmm. 538 00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:15,923 I'll tell you what, Amy. 539 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,221 I'm gonna cancel the rest of my appointments... 540 00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:19,968 ...and get you a job here at Hud. 541 00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:21,846 Oh, no! Really... 542 00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:25,395 Don't bother to thank me. It's easy. I know where a vacancy just came up. 543 00:38:25,595 --> 00:38:27,848 - Mailroom. This will only take a moment. MAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Yeah. 544 00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:29,854 Good afternoon, this is Norville Barnes. 545 00:38:30,058 --> 00:38:31,685 MUSSBURGER [OVER INTERCOM]: Barnes! Where the hell have you been? 546 00:38:31,893 --> 00:38:34,988 - Where's my voucher? - Um... 547 00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:36,861 - I'm not sure. - I need that voucher! 548 00:38:37,065 --> 00:38:39,193 I told you a week ago it was important! 549 00:38:40,068 --> 00:38:42,070 Ahem, I'm president of the company now. 550 00:38:42,278 --> 00:38:45,657 I don't care if you're president of the company! 551 00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:47,867 I need the voucher now! 552 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,546 Look, why don't you work in here with me? 553 00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:53,919 Are you familiar with the mimeograph machine? 554 00:38:54,082 --> 00:38:59,009 Well, of course. I went to the Muncie Secretarial, uh, Polytechnic. 555 00:38:59,212 --> 00:39:01,055 A Muncie girl! Can you beat that? 556 00:39:01,965 --> 00:39:04,559 I just don't know how to thank you, Mr. Barnes. 557 00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:06,557 Please, Norville. 558 00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:10,641 NORVILLE: Go, Eagles! Heh. AMY: Go, Eagles! 559 00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:13,147 [SMITTY LAUGHING] 560 00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:16,942 "Once the Munce..." Holy moly! 561 00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:20,400 Is this guy from Chumpsville? I even pulled the old mother routine. 562 00:39:20,608 --> 00:39:21,780 - Adenoids? - Lumbago. 563 00:39:22,277 --> 00:39:24,120 Phew. That gag's got whiskers on it. 564 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,412 AMY: I tell you, the Hudsucker board's up to something. 565 00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:26,705 [PHONE RINGING] 566 00:39:26,906 --> 00:39:29,785 What's a six-letter word for an affliction of the hypothalamus? 567 00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:32,462 And it's a cinch... Goiter. ...This guy isn't in on it. 568 00:39:32,662 --> 00:39:35,290 SMITTY: She's right here. - How much time to make the late final? 569 00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:37,796 - Chief. - Tsk. Hiya, chief. 570 00:39:38,001 --> 00:39:39,878 Just the person I wanted to apologize to. 571 00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:43,761 - About seven minutes. - Yeah, I was all wet about your Idea Man. 572 00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:48,721 Well, thanks for being so generous. It is human and you are divine. 573 00:39:48,928 --> 00:39:51,272 No, he's no faker. 574 00:39:51,472 --> 00:39:54,772 He's 100 percent real McCoy, beware of imitations, genuine article. 575 00:39:54,976 --> 00:39:58,355 The guy's a real moron, as in a five-letter word for imbecile. 576 00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:01,692 Oh, as pure a specimen as I've ever run across. Okay. 577 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:04,278 If working at the Argus doesn't make me an expert... 578 00:40:04,485 --> 00:40:07,989 ...then my name isn't Amy Archer and I never won the Pulitzer Prize. 579 00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:09,824 In 1957. 580 00:40:10,033 --> 00:40:13,287 My, oh, my series on the reunited triplets. 581 00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:16,748 Well, come down here, hammerhead, and I'll show it to you! 582 00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:19,300 What's a three-letter word for a flightless bird? 583 00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:20,501 AMY: Not now, I'm busy. 584 00:40:20,710 --> 00:40:23,680 Right, I said, "hammerhead," as in a 10-letter word for a smug... 585 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,052 ...bullying newspaper man. 586 00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:27,054 Gnu. Who couldn't find... That's G-N-U. 587 00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:30,603 Couldn't find the Empire State Building with a compass, map and a guide. 588 00:40:30,803 --> 00:40:33,773 Or is it Emu? That's just potatoes. Here comes the gravy. 589 00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:35,270 The chump really likes me. 590 00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:38,354 - Ah. A Muncie girl! - Better off falling for a rattlesnake. 591 00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:41,110 This guy's just a patsy and I'm gonna find out what for. 592 00:40:41,314 --> 00:40:43,316 There's a real story here, some kind of plot. 593 00:40:43,524 --> 00:40:45,492 A set-up. Oh, and say, did I tell you? 594 00:40:45,693 --> 00:40:47,411 - He didn't offer you money? - A sawbuck! 595 00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:49,580 Ten smackers! Let's grab a highball! 596 00:40:49,781 --> 00:40:51,454 - On Norville Barnes. - Yeah. 597 00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:52,659 [AMY WHISTLES] 598 00:40:52,867 --> 00:40:54,414 Copy! 599 00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:25,158 Ms. Smith, would you come in and take a letter? 600 00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:28,574 Of all the cockamamy... 601 00:41:30,446 --> 00:41:33,199 Did you see the front page of today's Manhattan Argus? 602 00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:37,584 Well, I, uh, didn't bother to read the article. I didn't think the picture did you justice. 603 00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:39,755 Well, the picture's fine. 604 00:41:39,956 --> 00:41:42,254 It's what that knuckle-headed dame wrote underneath. 605 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,927 Of all the irresponsible... Take this down. 606 00:41:45,128 --> 00:41:47,222 Dear, Ms. Archer. 607 00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:50,972 I call you "Miss" because you seem to have missed the boat completely. 608 00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:53,143 How would you know if I'm an imbecile? 609 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,938 You didn't have the guts to come interview me man-to-man! 610 00:41:56,139 --> 00:41:57,857 Change "man-to-man" to "face-to-face." 611 00:41:58,057 --> 00:42:01,231 Change "face-to-face" to "eye-to-eye" and "guts" to "common decency." 612 00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:03,564 These wild speculations about my intelligence... 613 00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:06,069 ...these preposterous inventions would be suited... 614 00:42:06,274 --> 00:42:09,027 ...to the pages of Amazing Tales Magazine. 615 00:42:09,235 --> 00:42:11,488 If the editors of the Manhattan Argus see fit... 616 00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:13,915 ...to publish the rantings of a disordered mind... 617 00:42:14,115 --> 00:42:16,493 ...perhaps they will see fit to publish this letter. 618 00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:18,123 But I most seriously doubt it. 619 00:42:18,327 --> 00:42:21,297 As I doubt also that you could find a home at Amazing Tales... 620 00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:24,091 ...a periodical which I have enjoyed for many years. 621 00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:27,136 Sincerely, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 622 00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:35,769 Is that all, Mr. Barnes? 623 00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:37,313 Uh... 624 00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:41,393 You know me, Amy, better than this dame. Do you think I'm an imbecile? 625 00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:43,436 Oh, well, I'm sure I... 626 00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:46,864 Tell the truth. I trust you. I place a lot of stock in your opinion. 627 00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:50,865 - Well... - Oh, sure, heh, you're biased. 628 00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:52,116 You're a fellow Muncian, heh. 629 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,321 Hmm. 630 00:42:53,529 --> 00:42:58,285 But let me ask you a question: Would an imbecile come up with this? 631 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,008 I designed it myself. 632 00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:10,343 This sweet baby will put Hudsucker right back on top. 633 00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:11,889 Uh-huh. 634 00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:14,305 You know, for kids. 635 00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:19,601 Why don't I just type this up? 636 00:43:19,806 --> 00:43:22,650 Oh, no, Amy, that won't be necessary. I shouldn't send it. 637 00:43:22,850 --> 00:43:25,148 She's just doing her job, I guess. 638 00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:27,856 I don't know, maybe she does deserve it. 639 00:43:28,064 --> 00:43:31,113 Maybe she should have come in here and faced you man-to-man. 640 00:43:31,317 --> 00:43:32,318 NORVILLE: She had a deadline. 641 00:43:32,527 --> 00:43:36,532 Sure, but she still could've gotten your side, for the record. 642 00:43:36,739 --> 00:43:39,538 Well, it's done now. What's the use of grousing about it? Ha, ha. 643 00:43:39,742 --> 00:43:42,962 Forget the letter, Amy, I just had to blow off some steam. Heh. 644 00:43:43,162 --> 00:43:45,881 She's probably just a little confused. 645 00:43:46,415 --> 00:43:49,840 - Confused? - She's probably a fast-talking career gal... 646 00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:52,763 ...thinks she's one of the boys. If you know what I mean, heh. 647 00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:55,513 Oh, I'm quite sure I don't know what you mean. 648 00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:58,185 Suffers from one of these complexes they have nowadays. 649 00:43:58,386 --> 00:43:59,683 Seems pretty obvious. 650 00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:02,481 She's probably very unattractive and bitter about it. 651 00:44:02,682 --> 00:44:04,355 - Oh, is that it? - Yeah. 652 00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:06,436 She probably dresses in men's clothing... 653 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,738 ...drinks with the guys at the watering hole... 654 00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:11,407 ...hobnobs with some smooth-talking heel named Biff... 655 00:44:11,607 --> 00:44:13,359 - ...or Smoocher or, uh... - Smitty. 656 00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:15,912 Exactly. I bet she's ugly, real ugly. 657 00:44:16,112 --> 00:44:18,615 Otherwise, why isn't her picture next to her byline? 658 00:44:18,823 --> 00:44:22,123 Oh, maybe she puts her work ahead of her personal appearance. 659 00:44:22,326 --> 00:44:24,420 I bet that's exactly what she tells herself. 660 00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:27,169 But you and I both know she's a dried-up, bitter old maid. 661 00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:28,374 [CHUCKLES] 662 00:44:28,583 --> 00:44:30,756 Amy, how about we grab a little dinner and a show after work? 663 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,507 I was thinking maybe The King and I. 664 00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:35,340 Uh, how about Oklahoma!? 665 00:44:35,548 --> 00:44:38,051 Norville, you don't know a thing about that woman! 666 00:44:38,259 --> 00:44:39,761 You don't know who she really is. 667 00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:42,313 And only a numbskull thinks he knows things... 668 00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:44,641 ...about things he knows nothing, uh, about. 669 00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:48,895 NORVILLE: Say, what gives? 670 00:45:02,909 --> 00:45:05,708 [WHISTLING] 671 00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:14,804 [DOOR OPENS] 672 00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,039 Uh-huh. 673 00:45:42,698 --> 00:45:44,496 [CLOSES BOOK] 674 00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:53,819 [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] 675 00:46:55,354 --> 00:46:56,731 The inventory of the Jacksonville... 676 00:46:56,939 --> 00:47:00,239 ...facility should be reduced by 15 percent. 677 00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:02,411 Memo from the desk of Sidney J. Mussburger... 678 00:47:02,611 --> 00:47:05,160 MAN: What are you doing down there, Ms. Archer? 679 00:47:05,364 --> 00:47:06,991 Huh? 680 00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:17,301 Who are you? How did you know who I am? 681 00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:19,253 [CHUCKLES] 682 00:47:19,462 --> 00:47:23,217 I suspect Old Moses knows just about everything... 683 00:47:23,424 --> 00:47:26,223 ...leastways if it concerns Hudsucker. 684 00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:28,555 But who are you? What do you do here? 685 00:47:28,763 --> 00:47:33,894 I keep the old circle turning. This old clock needs plenty of care. 686 00:47:34,101 --> 00:47:36,354 Time is money, Ms. Archer. 687 00:47:36,562 --> 00:47:39,190 And money drives that old global economy... 688 00:47:39,398 --> 00:47:41,742 ...and keeps Big Daddy Earth spinning around. 689 00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:45,116 - See, without that capital formation... - Yeah, yeah. 690 00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:48,746 Say, you won't tell anyone about me, will you? 691 00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:53,955 I don't tell no one nothing unless they ask. 692 00:47:54,163 --> 00:47:56,586 That just ain't Old Moses' way. 693 00:47:56,791 --> 00:47:58,759 So if you know everything about Hudsucker... 694 00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:02,088 ...tell me why the board decided to make Norville Barnes president? 695 00:48:02,463 --> 00:48:05,558 Well, that even surprised Old Moses at first. 696 00:48:05,758 --> 00:48:08,807 - I didn't think the board was that smart. - "That smart"? 697 00:48:09,011 --> 00:48:10,934 But then I figured it out. 698 00:48:11,138 --> 00:48:14,187 They did it because they figured young Norville for an imbecile... 699 00:48:14,392 --> 00:48:15,939 ...like some other people I know. 700 00:48:16,435 --> 00:48:19,689 Now, why on earth would the board want a nitwit to be president? 701 00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:24,118 Because they're little piglets. They're trying to inspire panic... 702 00:48:24,318 --> 00:48:27,697 ...make that stock cheap so they can snatch it all up for themselves. 703 00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:32,081 But Norville, he's got some tricks up his sleeve. He does. 704 00:48:32,284 --> 00:48:34,161 You know, for kids. 705 00:48:34,370 --> 00:48:35,462 - Hee-hee. - Uh-huh. 706 00:48:35,663 --> 00:48:39,008 Yeah, he's a smart one, that Norville. 707 00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:42,633 But I guess you don't really know him any better than that board does... 708 00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:43,804 ...do you, Ms. Archer? 709 00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:47,641 - Well, maybe I... - And only some kind of knuckle-head... 710 00:48:47,842 --> 00:48:50,641 ...thinks she knows things about things she, uh... 711 00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:54,390 When she don't, uh... 712 00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:57,943 - How'd that go? - Well, it's hardly the same. 713 00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:00,613 Why, you don't even know your own self. 714 00:49:00,813 --> 00:49:04,488 You ain't exactly the genuine article, are you, Ms. Archer? 715 00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:06,820 Yes, well, in connection with my job... 716 00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:09,530 ...sometimes I have to, uh, go undercover, as it were. 717 00:49:09,738 --> 00:49:11,490 I don't mean that. 718 00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:15,670 Why are you pretending to be such a hard old sourpuss? 719 00:49:15,870 --> 00:49:18,168 Ain't gonna never make you happy. 720 00:49:20,082 --> 00:49:22,505 I'm happy enough. 721 00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:24,178 [LAUGHING] 722 00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:26,175 Okay, Ms. Archer. 723 00:49:27,715 --> 00:49:29,308 I got gears to see to. 724 00:49:29,508 --> 00:49:31,476 [LAUGHING] 725 00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:36,816 I'm plenty happy! 726 00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:44,698 AMY: Hello? 727 00:49:46,901 --> 00:49:48,949 - I can't print that! - Why not? It's all true. 728 00:49:49,153 --> 00:49:51,872 The board's using him to depress the stock to buy it cheap. 729 00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:53,995 It's pure speculation! They'd have my butt in a satchel! 730 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,579 - Ah. Old satchel butt. AMY: I know they're gonna buy that stock. 731 00:49:57,786 --> 00:49:59,254 You don't. They haven't bought it. 732 00:49:59,455 --> 00:50:01,628 The stock's cheap! What are they waiting for? 733 00:50:01,832 --> 00:50:04,301 - I don't know. - Amy's hunches are usually pretty good. 734 00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:07,176 You don't accuse somebody of stock manipulation on a hunch. 735 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:09,677 The readers aren't interested in sensationalism... 736 00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:12,726 ...gossip, unsupported speculation! Facts! Figures! Charts! 737 00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:14,895 Those are the tools of the newspaper trade. 738 00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:18,190 It's as if you're trying to take the heat off this Barnes numbskull. 739 00:50:18,390 --> 00:50:20,518 Oh, come on, chief. That's a low blow. 740 00:50:20,726 --> 00:50:23,354 Archer's not going to go gooey for a corn-fed idiot. 741 00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:26,862 I was out of line. But you're out of line with this stock-swindle story. 742 00:50:27,066 --> 00:50:29,285 Give me more of that "moron from Sheboygan" stuff. 743 00:50:29,485 --> 00:50:30,862 - Muncie. - Whatever. 744 00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,413 That's what sells newspapers! 745 00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:35,162 I've got a harder story, "The Sap From The City Desk!" 746 00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:37,835 - Watch it! - It's about a dim-witted editor who... 747 00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:40,037 Easy, tough guy. Heh-heh-heh. 748 00:50:42,748 --> 00:50:44,625 Does this suit look mannish to you? 749 00:50:44,833 --> 00:50:47,131 SMITTY: Yeah, sure. Let's grab a highball. 750 00:50:47,962 --> 00:50:49,179 AMY: Back off! 751 00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:51,098 Smoocher! 752 00:50:52,341 --> 00:50:55,345 Eh. What gives? 753 00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:07,697 [CHATTERING] 754 00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:13,909 A man of great managerial potency. 755 00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:16,457 My husband is also a president. 756 00:51:16,657 --> 00:51:19,957 Sears Braithwaite of Bullard. Do you know him? 757 00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,504 Your companion is an ode! 758 00:51:22,705 --> 00:51:25,128 A lyric! Are you betrothed? 759 00:51:25,332 --> 00:51:27,710 Amy works in my office. She runs, uh... 760 00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:32,264 - Oh, the folly of youth. - Those green remembered hills. 761 00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:35,889 That bourn from which no traveler returns. 762 00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:38,221 I once ran the mimeograph for Sidney. 763 00:51:38,429 --> 00:51:41,729 Though engaged at the time to quelqu'un d'autre... 764 00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:45,653 ...my water-cooler romance became a mad passion. 765 00:51:45,853 --> 00:51:48,857 Uh. An amour fou. A folie à deux. 766 00:51:49,064 --> 00:51:50,782 [LAUGHS] 767 00:51:50,983 --> 00:51:53,657 I'm brushing up on my French with the most charming man... 768 00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:55,363 - ...Pierre of 5th Avenue. - Oh! 769 00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:57,164 - Do you know him? - Do you know him? 770 00:51:57,364 --> 00:52:02,336 Sidney and I are planning a trip to Paris and points continental. 771 00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:03,879 [WOMEN LAUGHING] 772 00:52:05,497 --> 00:52:06,498 - Oh. - Aren't we, dear? 773 00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:12,672 For sure. I would like to borrow Norville for a while, if you don't mind, dear. 774 00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,633 Oh, well, uh, frankly, I... 775 00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,684 You have a very charming wife, Mr... Sid. 776 00:52:17,885 --> 00:52:19,512 So they tell me. 777 00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:23,224 Norville, let me shepherd you through some of the introductions here. 778 00:52:23,432 --> 00:52:25,526 Try not to talk too much. 779 00:52:25,726 --> 00:52:28,195 Some of our biggest stockholders are... 780 00:52:28,395 --> 00:52:30,147 Scratch that. Say whatever you like. 781 00:52:30,356 --> 00:52:32,654 Shake hands here with Sears Braithwaite of Bullard. 782 00:52:32,858 --> 00:52:35,156 - Sir. - Glad to know you, Barnes. 783 00:52:35,361 --> 00:52:37,034 MUSSBURGER: And this is Zebulon Cardozo... 784 00:52:37,237 --> 00:52:40,241 ...one of Hudsucker's largest and most loyal stockholders. 785 00:52:40,449 --> 00:52:42,543 What's this I hear about you being an imbecile? 786 00:52:42,743 --> 00:52:44,541 What's ailing you, boy? 787 00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:47,749 Last week, my stock was worth twice what it is now. 788 00:52:47,956 --> 00:52:50,675 I'm getting out of the whole kit and caboodle of it, boy... 789 00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:53,254 ...unless I see a vast improvement. 790 00:52:53,462 --> 00:52:56,215 What you've got here, son, is a range war! 791 00:52:56,423 --> 00:53:00,178 You're gonna have to circle our wagons or I'm gonna get out of your wagon train. 792 00:53:00,386 --> 00:53:01,558 [CHUCKLES] 793 00:53:01,762 --> 00:53:02,888 No need for concern, sir. 794 00:53:03,097 --> 00:53:05,191 It's only natural in a period of transition... 795 00:53:05,391 --> 00:53:07,189 ...for the more timid elements to run. 796 00:53:07,393 --> 00:53:10,192 Yellow? I'll show you yellow, boy! 797 00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:13,900 Zebulon, you mind now and quit acting like such an old grizzly. 798 00:53:14,108 --> 00:53:16,577 MUSSBURGER: Step lively here, Norville. 799 00:53:16,777 --> 00:53:19,747 I'm sorry, Sid, uh, I thought maybe if I showed him the long view... 800 00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,826 And this is Thorstenson Finlandson... 801 00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:25,957 ...who heads a radical splinter group of disgruntled investors. 802 00:53:26,161 --> 00:53:27,834 Ah. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Finlandson. 803 00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:30,712 It might interest you to know I studied Finnish in high school. 804 00:53:30,916 --> 00:53:32,884 Let see, I hope I'm not too rusty. Um... 805 00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:36,555 [SPEAKS IN FINNISH] 806 00:53:36,755 --> 00:53:38,223 [WOMAN SCREAMS] 807 00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:41,931 Ladies and gentlemen... 808 00:53:42,136 --> 00:53:44,355 ...distinguished members of the Hudsucker board... 809 00:53:44,555 --> 00:53:48,605 ...I give you the Rajah of Romance, the Ministereo of Moonlight... 810 00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:51,107 ...the incredible, the unforgettable... 811 00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:55,191 ...Mr. Vic Tenetta! 812 00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:57,826 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 813 00:53:58,110 --> 00:54:00,579 [CHORUS HUMMING] 814 00:54:00,863 --> 00:54:04,117 Rajah, I like that. 815 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:09,080 [SINGING] Take one fresh and tender kiss 816 00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:11,131 [GASPS] 817 00:54:11,331 --> 00:54:17,304 Add one stolen night of bliss 818 00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:25,521 One girl one boy Some grief some joy 819 00:54:25,721 --> 00:54:31,023 Memories are made of this 820 00:54:32,853 --> 00:54:34,480 Don't 821 00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:41,494 Norville? 822 00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:47,250 What happened? 823 00:54:47,451 --> 00:54:53,299 Oh, nothing. Just the more timid investors are no longer running for cover. 824 00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:56,252 - Let me look. - Sid found me the ice pack. 825 00:54:56,460 --> 00:54:58,963 Well, let me hold it or you'll have a real shiner. 826 00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:00,388 Oh, thanks. 827 00:55:00,589 --> 00:55:03,684 I guess people are pretty hot over this imbecile story. 828 00:55:03,884 --> 00:55:05,477 I'm sorry. 829 00:55:05,677 --> 00:55:06,974 Oh, it's not your fault, Amy. 830 00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:09,602 You're the one person standing by me through this. 831 00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:13,437 Norville, there's something I have to tell you. 832 00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:17,774 You see, I'm not really a secretary. 833 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,738 - I know that, Amy. - You do? 834 00:55:20,943 --> 00:55:24,038 I understand you're not very skilled yet in the secretarial arts... 835 00:55:24,238 --> 00:55:27,208 ...but I'll tell you a secret, I'm not that skilled as president. 836 00:55:27,407 --> 00:55:31,628 - I know I put up a big front, but, uh... - I believe in you, Norville. 837 00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:36,550 At least, I believe in your intentions. 838 00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:40,596 Oh, I don't blame them, really. I suppose I have made a mess of things. 839 00:55:40,796 --> 00:55:42,890 Those folks have to protect their investment. 840 00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:44,717 Most of them are very nice people. 841 00:55:44,925 --> 00:55:48,179 Listen, Norville, you can't trust people here like you did in Muncie. 842 00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:50,230 Certain people are... 843 00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:54,230 See, did you ever go to the top of Larson's feed tower and look out over the town? 844 00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:56,903 - What? - On Farm Route 17? 845 00:55:57,104 --> 00:55:59,653 Oh, yes, in Muncie. 846 00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:06,452 - No, Vidalia. Farm Route 17. - Oh, yes, 17, yes. 847 00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:08,874 I... Well, no, no. I never really. 848 00:56:09,074 --> 00:56:10,246 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 849 00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:14,296 The guys from the Varsity Squad would bring their dates up there to... 850 00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:17,007 ...hold hands. 851 00:56:17,207 --> 00:56:20,757 Of course, I never made Varsity. 852 00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:24,760 There's a place I go now. 853 00:56:24,965 --> 00:56:27,889 Cutest little place near my apartment in Greenwich Village. 854 00:56:28,093 --> 00:56:31,643 It's called Ann's 440. It's a beatnik bar. 855 00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,440 - You don't say? - Yes. 856 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,608 - A beatnik bar. - You can get carrot juice... 857 00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:40,781 ...or Italian coffee and the people there, well, none of them quite fit in. 858 00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:41,948 You'd love it. 859 00:56:42,649 --> 00:56:44,196 Why don't you come there with me? 860 00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:47,780 There's a marathon poetry-reading on New Year's Eve. I go every year. 861 00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:50,116 - It's marvelous. - Every year? 862 00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:56,623 Well, this year, if it's good, I plan to make it a tradition, heh. 863 00:56:56,830 --> 00:56:58,503 I, uh, heh... 864 00:56:58,707 --> 00:57:05,591 My, it certainly is beautiful. The people look like ants. 865 00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:09,639 Well, the Hindus say, and the beatniks also... 866 00:57:09,843 --> 00:57:12,972 ...that in our next lives some of us will come back as ants. 867 00:57:13,180 --> 00:57:15,774 Some will be butterflies, others will be elephants... 868 00:57:15,974 --> 00:57:17,271 ...or creatures of the sea. 869 00:57:17,476 --> 00:57:18,853 What a beautiful thought. 870 00:57:19,061 --> 00:57:22,656 Hey, what do you think you were in a previous life, Amy? 871 00:57:22,856 --> 00:57:27,077 Oh, I don't know. Maybe I was just, uh... 872 00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:31,157 ...a fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys. 873 00:57:31,365 --> 00:57:32,787 Oh, no, Amy. 874 00:57:32,991 --> 00:57:35,710 Pardon me for saying so, but I find that very far-fetched. 875 00:57:35,911 --> 00:57:38,505 - No, I have to tell you... - That person would come back... 876 00:57:38,705 --> 00:57:40,082 ...as a wildebeest or a warthog. 877 00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:45,888 No, I find it more likely that you were a gazelle... 878 00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:50,389 ...with long, graceful legs, gamboling through the underbrush. 879 00:57:50,592 --> 00:57:52,720 Perhaps we met once. 880 00:57:52,928 --> 00:57:56,603 A chance encounter in a forest glade. 881 00:57:57,557 --> 00:58:01,152 I must have been an antelope or an ibex. 882 00:58:01,353 --> 00:58:05,483 The times we must've had foraging together for sustenance... 883 00:58:05,691 --> 00:58:08,865 ...snorfling water from a mountain stream... 884 00:58:09,069 --> 00:58:13,666 ...picking the grubs and burrs from one another's coats. 885 00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:21,045 Or perhaps we simply touched horns briefly and went our separate ways. 886 00:58:21,248 --> 00:58:25,003 Oh, I wish it were that simple, Norville. 887 00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:30,091 I wish I was still a gazelle and you were an antelope... 888 00:58:30,298 --> 00:58:32,676 ...or an ibex. 889 00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:35,804 Well... 890 00:58:36,638 --> 00:58:39,232 ...can I at least call you "deer?" 891 00:58:39,433 --> 00:58:42,403 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 892 00:58:42,602 --> 00:58:43,649 You're funny. 893 00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:47,108 Seriously, Amy, it's what your beatnik friends call "karma." 894 00:58:47,315 --> 00:58:50,535 - Karma. - The great circle of life, death and rebirth. 895 00:58:50,736 --> 00:58:55,242 Yes, I think I heard of that. What goes around, comes around. 896 00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:59,249 That's it. A great wheel that gives us all what we deserve. 897 00:58:59,995 --> 00:59:03,090 I gotta show Sid and all the guys I deserve their confidence. 898 00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:05,713 Tomorrow's my big presentation to the board. 899 00:59:05,917 --> 00:59:07,669 [MOANS] 900 00:59:08,253 --> 00:59:11,757 Kiss me, Amy! Kiss me once for luck. 901 00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:16,558 Sure, Norville, sure. 902 00:59:50,378 --> 00:59:52,176 Shh. 903 00:59:55,634 --> 00:59:57,227 NORVILLE: You know, for kids! 904 00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:59,646 It has economy, simplicity, low production cost... 905 00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:01,143 ...potential for mass appeal. 906 01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:03,316 All that spells out great profitability. 907 01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:06,316 I had the boys down at R&D throw together this prototype... 908 01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:08,522 ...so our discussion could have some focus... 909 01:00:08,730 --> 01:00:12,200 ...and to give you gentleman a firsthand look at how exciting this gizmo is. 910 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:15,654 It's fun, healthy, good exercise, and the kids will just love it. 911 01:00:15,862 --> 01:00:18,832 We put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant. 912 01:00:19,032 --> 01:00:22,332 But the great part is we don't have to charge an arm and a leg. 913 01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:26,756 What if you tire before it's done? 914 01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:27,958 Does it have rules? 915 01:00:28,166 --> 01:00:30,134 MAN 1: Can more than one play? MAN 2: It's a game? 916 01:00:30,335 --> 01:00:31,632 MAN 3: Is it a game? ADDISON: Will it break? 917 01:00:31,837 --> 01:00:34,181 MAN 4: It better break eventually. MAN 5: Is there an object? 918 01:00:34,381 --> 01:00:37,009 MAN 6: What if you tire before it's done? MAN 7: Does it have batteries? 919 01:00:37,217 --> 01:00:39,470 MAN 8: Could we charge extra for them? ADDISON: Is it safe for toddlers? 920 01:00:39,845 --> 01:00:41,313 MAN 2: How do you know you're finished? 921 01:00:41,513 --> 01:00:42,514 MAN 5: How does it stop? 922 01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:44,975 MAN 8: Is that a boy's model? MAN 9: Can a parent assemble it? 923 01:00:45,183 --> 01:00:49,029 MAN 4: What if you tire before it's done? MAN 7: Is there a larger model for the obese? 924 01:00:49,229 --> 01:00:51,448 What the hell is it? 925 01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:55,243 Well, it's a... It's a... 926 01:00:55,443 --> 01:00:56,444 It's a... 927 01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:57,700 MUSSBURGER: Brilliant! 928 01:00:59,614 --> 01:01:01,207 Genius. 929 01:01:01,867 --> 01:01:05,371 It's exactly what Hudsucker Industry needs at this juncture. 930 01:01:05,579 --> 01:01:06,705 Sure, sure. 931 01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:11,919 Even a blind man can tell you there'll be an enormous demand for this, uh... 932 01:01:12,294 --> 01:01:13,921 This... 933 01:01:14,129 --> 01:01:15,221 Congratulations, kid. 934 01:01:15,422 --> 01:01:17,845 You've outdone yourself. You've reinvented the wheel. 935 01:01:18,049 --> 01:01:22,600 I'll recommend to the board that we proceed immediately and that the, uh... 936 01:01:22,804 --> 01:01:24,852 And that the, uh... 937 01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:28,561 ...dingus be mass-produced with all deliberate speed. 938 01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:30,862 Although, you realize... 939 01:01:31,062 --> 01:01:33,064 ...of course... 940 01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:37,240 ...as president... 941 01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:40,197 ...the ultimate decision is yours. 942 01:01:40,405 --> 01:01:42,499 Oh. I'm for it. 943 01:01:46,536 --> 01:01:48,914 [BELL RINGING] 944 01:02:29,287 --> 01:02:31,790 MAN 1: We'll call it the Flying Doughnut! 945 01:02:31,998 --> 01:02:32,965 MAN 2: The Dancing Dingus! 946 01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:34,463 MAN 1: The Belly-Go-Round. 947 01:02:34,668 --> 01:02:35,635 MAN 2: The Swingerina! 948 01:02:35,835 --> 01:02:39,135 MAN 1: The Wacky Circumference! MAN 2: Uncle Midriff! 949 01:03:10,078 --> 01:03:11,751 MAN 1: We need something short! MAN 2: Sharp! 950 01:03:11,955 --> 01:03:13,502 MAN 1: Snappy! MAN 2: With a little jazz! 951 01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:14,833 MAN 1: The Shazzammeter! 952 01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:16,042 MAN 2: The Hipster! 953 01:03:16,251 --> 01:03:17,594 MAN 1: The Daddy-O! 954 01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:22,682 [BELL RINGING] 955 01:03:58,918 --> 01:04:00,636 MAN 1: The Hoopsucker. MAN 2: The Hudswinger. 956 01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:04,216 MAN 1: The Hoopsucker! MAN 2: The Hudswinger! 957 01:04:25,445 --> 01:04:28,073 MAN 1: The Hoopsucker! MAN 2: The Hudswinger! 958 01:04:28,281 --> 01:04:30,079 MAN 1: The Hoopsucker! MAN 2: The Hudswinger! 959 01:04:30,283 --> 01:04:33,787 MAN 3: Fellas! MAN 2: You got something? 960 01:04:33,995 --> 01:04:35,087 MAN 1: You got something? 961 01:04:35,288 --> 01:04:38,258 MAN 3: Fella, I got something! 962 01:04:49,969 --> 01:04:51,471 [WHISTLES] 963 01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,014 Ladies. 964 01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:21,319 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 965 01:06:21,519 --> 01:06:23,487 [ALL CHEERING] 966 01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:17,124 [ALL CHEERING] 967 01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:27,301 Wow. 968 01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:43,773 Norville! 969 01:07:50,191 --> 01:07:54,617 NEWSCASTER [OVER TV]: Rockwell News presents, Tidbits of Time. 970 01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:57,620 World news in pictures, we kid you not. 971 01:07:57,824 --> 01:08:01,454 As Old Man 1958 hobbles towards his finish... 972 01:08:01,661 --> 01:08:04,130 ...Barnes is the name on every American lip. 973 01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:07,675 Norville Barnes, young president of Hudsucker Industries... 974 01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:11,755 ...a boy bred in the heartland, but now the toast of New York. 975 01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:15,308 Barnes is the brainy inventor of America's craziest craze: 976 01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:16,851 The Hula-Hoop! 977 01:08:17,051 --> 01:08:20,476 Reaping huge profits for his company and winning the hearts... 978 01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,775 ...and hips of every youngster in America! 979 01:08:23,975 --> 01:08:26,569 Woo-ho. Did I say youngster? 980 01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:30,069 Here's Mom taking a break from her household chores... 981 01:08:30,273 --> 01:08:33,823 ...and even Dad is swinging into the act! 982 01:08:34,694 --> 01:08:36,492 Cards, letters, congratulations... 983 01:08:36,696 --> 01:08:39,666 ...come pouring in from Kankakee to Petaluma... 984 01:08:39,866 --> 01:08:42,961 ...including one very special long-distance call. 985 01:08:43,161 --> 01:08:45,880 He's on! He's on the line! 986 01:08:46,039 --> 01:08:48,292 [ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 987 01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:52,670 - Hello? EISENHOWER: Hello, Norville. 988 01:08:52,879 --> 01:08:54,722 - This is the President. - Oh, my God, sir. 989 01:08:54,922 --> 01:08:57,846 I just wanted to congratulate you. I'm very proud of you. 990 01:08:58,051 --> 01:09:01,271 - Oh, my God, sir. - Mrs. Eisenhower is very proud of you. 991 01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:04,441 The American people are very proud of you. 992 01:09:05,016 --> 01:09:06,939 [ALL CHATTERING] 993 01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:14,113 REPORTER: Mr. Barnes, how'd you come up with the idea for the Hula-Hoop? 994 01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:16,035 It was no great idea, really. 995 01:09:16,235 --> 01:09:18,738 A thing like this takes a whole company to put together. 996 01:09:18,946 --> 01:09:20,539 I'm grateful for the opportunity. 997 01:09:20,740 --> 01:09:23,459 Did you have any idea there'd be such a huge response? 998 01:09:23,660 --> 01:09:26,914 Frankly, I don't think anybody expected this much hoopla. 999 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:28,332 [ALL LAUGH] 1000 01:09:28,539 --> 01:09:31,964 "Hoopla on the Hula-Hoop." Can we quote you on that, Mr. Barnes? 1001 01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:33,215 Sure, I guess. 1002 01:09:33,419 --> 01:09:36,639 Mr. Barnes, will you give yourself a nice, fat raise? 1003 01:09:36,839 --> 01:09:37,840 [ALL CHUCKLE] 1004 01:09:38,049 --> 01:09:39,517 NORVILLE: Come on, you guys. 1005 01:09:46,224 --> 01:09:49,398 ANNOUNCER 1: What scientific principle explains the mind-bending motion... 1006 01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,400 ...of this whipping wheel of wonder? 1007 01:09:51,604 --> 01:09:53,606 The dingus is quite simple, really. 1008 01:09:53,815 --> 01:09:55,533 It operates on the same principles... 1009 01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:58,031 ...that keep the Earth spinning around the sun... 1010 01:09:58,236 --> 01:10:00,830 ...and that keeps you from flying off the Earth... 1011 01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:02,703 ...into the cold reaches of space... 1012 01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:05,205 ...where you would die like a miserable swine. 1013 01:10:05,410 --> 01:10:07,788 Yes, the principle is the same... 1014 01:10:07,995 --> 01:10:12,796 ...except for the piece of grit they put in to make the experience... 1015 01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,377 ...more pleasant. 1016 01:10:14,585 --> 01:10:16,883 ANNOUNCER 2: Yes, it's Hula-Hula everywhere! 1017 01:10:17,088 --> 01:10:19,591 From the parties of the Park Avenue smart set... 1018 01:10:23,261 --> 01:10:26,856 ...to sweethearts who want to be married in the swing of things. 1019 01:10:29,767 --> 01:10:32,145 Mr. Barnes, did the board consider you an idea man... 1020 01:10:32,353 --> 01:10:34,481 ...when they promoted you from the mailroom? 1021 01:10:34,689 --> 01:10:38,284 I guess so, I don't think they promoted me because they thought I was a schmo. 1022 01:10:38,484 --> 01:10:41,237 Mr. Barnes, what's the next big idea for you and Hudsucker? 1023 01:10:41,446 --> 01:10:42,447 NORVILLE: Jesus, I don't know. 1024 01:10:42,655 --> 01:10:45,033 An idea like this sweet baby doesn't just come overnight. 1025 01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:49,166 Although, I'll tell you one thing, I certainly didn't expect all this hoopla. 1026 01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:50,337 [CHUCKLES] 1027 01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:51,505 You can quote me on that. 1028 01:10:58,963 --> 01:11:01,807 REPORTER: Rumpus Magazine has called you the most eligible bachelor. 1029 01:11:02,008 --> 01:11:04,978 And society pages have been linking you with fashion model Za-Za. 1030 01:11:05,178 --> 01:11:07,647 - You care to comment? - There's no truth to the rumors. 1031 01:11:07,847 --> 01:11:10,396 We're just dear friends. Isn't that right, Za-Za? 1032 01:11:12,310 --> 01:11:13,903 [GROWLS] Wow. 1033 01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:15,320 REPORTERS: Ooh. 1034 01:11:16,189 --> 01:11:19,489 Whoa. How do you respond to the charges that you're out of ideas? 1035 01:11:19,692 --> 01:11:21,319 Has Norville Barnes run dry? 1036 01:11:21,527 --> 01:11:25,373 Not at all. Just this week I came up with several new sweet ideas. 1037 01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:30,079 A larger model Hula-Hoop for the portly, a battery option for the lazy or spastic. 1038 01:11:30,286 --> 01:11:32,835 A model with extra sand for the hard-of-hearing. 1039 01:11:33,039 --> 01:11:34,256 I'm earning my keep. 1040 01:11:34,457 --> 01:11:36,801 Speaking of that, do you expect to get a raise? 1041 01:11:37,001 --> 01:11:41,347 By anyone's account, I single-handedly have saved Hudsucker Industries. 1042 01:11:41,547 --> 01:11:43,515 Our stock is worth more now than ever. 1043 01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:46,435 Yes, I expect to be compensated for that. 1044 01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:02,406 [SOBBING] 1045 01:12:05,947 --> 01:12:10,168 - Pull yourself together, man. - Nobody told me! 1046 01:12:10,368 --> 01:12:12,996 You sold all our stock? 1047 01:12:13,204 --> 01:12:14,421 We dumped the whole load. 1048 01:12:14,622 --> 01:12:17,592 I had 20,000 shares! 1049 01:12:17,792 --> 01:12:19,510 I'd be a millionaire now. 1050 01:12:19,710 --> 01:12:22,213 MUSSBURGER: Sure. We'd all be millionaires. 1051 01:12:22,421 --> 01:12:24,048 There's no point in looking back. 1052 01:12:25,341 --> 01:12:28,891 At the time, Stillson thought dumping our position would panic the market... 1053 01:12:29,095 --> 01:12:31,314 ...further depress the stock. 1054 01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:35,064 Then we could buy it back and more, of course, once it got cheap. 1055 01:12:35,268 --> 01:12:39,114 Cheap? It's never been more valuable! 1056 01:12:40,273 --> 01:12:43,777 And I'm ruined. Ruined! 1057 01:12:48,739 --> 01:12:49,740 Addison. 1058 01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:54,086 I'm getting off this merry-go-round! 1059 01:12:54,287 --> 01:12:56,085 MAN: Myron. 1060 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:05,052 Plexiglas. 1061 01:13:05,631 --> 01:13:07,599 Had it installed last week. 1062 01:13:17,643 --> 01:13:18,644 Myron? 1063 01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:23,984 All right, so the kid caught a wave. 1064 01:13:24,692 --> 01:13:28,663 Right now, he and his dingus are on top. 1065 01:13:28,863 --> 01:13:31,036 Well, this too shall pass. 1066 01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:34,994 Myrtle J. Mussburger did not raise her boy to go... 1067 01:13:35,202 --> 01:13:37,751 ...knock-kneed at the first sign of adversity. 1068 01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:41,550 I say, we made this chump, we can break him! 1069 01:13:41,751 --> 01:13:45,301 I say, the higher he climbs, the harder he drops! 1070 01:13:46,380 --> 01:13:48,098 I say, yes... 1071 01:13:48,299 --> 01:13:51,052 ...the kid has a future... 1072 01:13:51,469 --> 01:13:53,142 ...and in it... 1073 01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,099 ...I see shame, dishonor... 1074 01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:59,402 ...ignominy, disgrace. 1075 01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:01,855 Sure, sure. 1076 01:14:02,063 --> 01:14:05,658 The music plays, the wheel turns... 1077 01:14:05,858 --> 01:14:08,737 ...and our spin ain't over yet. 1078 01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:10,913 [PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC] 1079 01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:34,308 For Pete's sakes, Norville! 1080 01:14:34,512 --> 01:14:36,685 NORVILLE: Oh, Amy, where have you been hiding? 1081 01:14:36,889 --> 01:14:40,109 Do you know what those nincompoops in the boardroom are doing? 1082 01:14:40,309 --> 01:14:42,152 I wouldn't call them nincompoops. 1083 01:14:42,353 --> 01:14:44,606 They're discharging 80 percent of the workforce. 1084 01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:47,658 In New York City alone, that means 1800 people out of work! 1085 01:14:47,858 --> 01:14:49,451 People with wives, children and families! 1086 01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:52,701 Oh, yes, we're pruning away some of the dead wood. 1087 01:14:52,905 --> 01:14:56,250 - You mean you know about this? - Know about it? Sure. 1088 01:14:56,450 --> 01:14:59,420 You think the board would do anything without my authorization? 1089 01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:01,213 It was my idea from the start. 1090 01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:02,711 - Your... - Sure, it was. 1091 01:15:02,915 --> 01:15:05,543 We're in a period of transition here. Things have slowed. 1092 01:15:05,751 --> 01:15:08,254 You're being awfully kind to yourself, Norville Barnes. 1093 01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:12,057 You've slowed down, sitting up here like a sultan, not doing a lick of work. 1094 01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:14,727 You know ideas are the lifeblood of industry... 1095 01:15:14,927 --> 01:15:17,225 ...and you haven't come up with one since the Hoop. 1096 01:15:17,430 --> 01:15:20,024 You've forgotten what made your ideas exciting to you. 1097 01:15:20,224 --> 01:15:22,477 If it wasn't for the fame, wealth, the adulation... 1098 01:15:22,685 --> 01:15:24,062 Would you get out of here? 1099 01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:27,399 You too, sisters, move it. Out, out, out! 1100 01:15:28,399 --> 01:15:31,403 I've been watching you, even though you've been avoiding me. 1101 01:15:31,610 --> 01:15:32,577 AMY: Shut up! 1102 01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:35,031 Don't think I haven't noticed how you've changed. 1103 01:15:35,239 --> 01:15:36,912 I used to think you were a swell guy. 1104 01:15:37,116 --> 01:15:38,914 I thought you were an imbecile. 1105 01:15:39,118 --> 01:15:40,119 - Amy, I'm... - Shut up! 1106 01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:43,627 Then I figured out you were a swell guy. A little slow, but a swell guy. 1107 01:15:43,831 --> 01:15:47,176 Maybe you're not so slow, oh, but you're not so swell either. 1108 01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:49,754 Looks like you're an imbecile, after all. Shut up! 1109 01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:53,637 You haven't talked to me for a week and now I'm going to say my piece. 1110 01:15:53,841 --> 01:15:56,594 Look, I've never been... 1111 01:15:56,802 --> 01:15:59,601 ...dumped by a fella before, and that hurts... 1112 01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:02,433 ...but what really hurts is watching you outrun your soul! 1113 01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:05,269 Chasing after money and ease and the respect of a board... 1114 01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:07,856 ...that wouldn't give you the time of day if you... 1115 01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:10,613 - If you... - Worked in a watch factory? 1116 01:16:10,816 --> 01:16:12,113 [CHUCKLES] 1117 01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:14,036 Shut up! Exactly. 1118 01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:18,454 Norville, don't you remember how you used to feel about the Hoop? 1119 01:16:18,657 --> 01:16:22,412 You told me you'd gonna bring a smile to the hips of everyone in America... 1120 01:16:22,620 --> 01:16:24,622 ...regardless of race, creed or color. 1121 01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:28,130 Finally, there'd be a thingamajig that would bring everyone together... 1122 01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:30,962 ...even if it kept them apart spatially. 1123 01:16:31,170 --> 01:16:33,969 "You know, for kids." 1124 01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:38,307 Your words, Norville, not mine. 1125 01:16:39,178 --> 01:16:41,055 I used to love Norville Barnes. 1126 01:16:41,889 --> 01:16:44,142 Yes, love him... 1127 01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:48,025 ...when he was just a swell kid with hot ideas who was in over his head. 1128 01:16:48,229 --> 01:16:50,152 Now your head's too big to be in over! 1129 01:16:50,356 --> 01:16:52,825 MAN: Hey. - Consider this my resignation. 1130 01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:54,276 [GROANS] 1131 01:16:54,485 --> 01:16:56,112 Effective immediately! 1132 01:16:57,696 --> 01:16:59,414 [DOOR SLAMS] 1133 01:18:15,941 --> 01:18:18,535 BUZZ: Buddy, buddy. 1134 01:18:18,736 --> 01:18:20,909 Buddy. 1135 01:18:21,113 --> 01:18:23,912 Buddy. Buddy, say, buddy. 1136 01:18:25,618 --> 01:18:27,461 Buddy, say, buddy. 1137 01:18:27,995 --> 01:18:31,374 Uh... Huh? 1138 01:18:31,582 --> 01:18:33,255 Buddy. You busy? 1139 01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:34,793 Huh? 1140 01:18:35,002 --> 01:18:38,222 Looks like you nodded off there, buddy. Say, you got a minute? 1141 01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:41,930 Buzz? 1142 01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:43,431 Is this important? 1143 01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:46,765 I think so. It's this little idea I've been working on. 1144 01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:49,441 You see, I don't intend to be an elevator boy forever. 1145 01:18:49,642 --> 01:18:51,110 Take a look at this sweet baby! 1146 01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:53,608 Get it? Incredibly convenient, isn't it? 1147 01:18:53,812 --> 01:18:55,280 You know, for drinks? 1148 01:18:55,481 --> 01:18:57,700 This is how it works. It's got these ridges... 1149 01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,618 ...on the side that give it its whammy. 1150 01:18:59,818 --> 01:19:03,368 See, you don't have to drink like this anymore. You can drink like this. 1151 01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:06,075 I call it the Buzz-Sucker. You get it, buddy? 1152 01:19:06,283 --> 01:19:09,503 People are dying for this and we won't have to charge an arm an... 1153 01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:11,125 Wait a minute. 1154 01:19:11,330 --> 01:19:13,128 Shh. 1155 01:19:26,262 --> 01:19:27,809 This... 1156 01:19:30,099 --> 01:19:31,271 ...is worthless! 1157 01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:33,068 Huh? But, buddy... 1158 01:19:33,269 --> 01:19:35,271 This is the most idiotic thing I've ever seen. 1159 01:19:35,479 --> 01:19:36,480 Yeah, but, buddy... 1160 01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:38,737 Nobody wants a harebrained product like this. 1161 01:19:38,941 --> 01:19:42,115 You see, Buzz, it lacks the creative spark... 1162 01:19:42,319 --> 01:19:45,573 ...the unalloyed genius that made something like, say... 1163 01:19:45,781 --> 01:19:47,909 ...the, uh, Hula-Hoop such a success. 1164 01:19:48,117 --> 01:19:50,370 What do you mean barging in and taking up my time? 1165 01:19:50,577 --> 01:19:52,124 I've got a company to run here! 1166 01:19:52,329 --> 01:19:53,546 [LAUGHS] 1167 01:19:53,747 --> 01:19:55,499 - But, buddy... - I can't have every deadbeat... 1168 01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:58,712 ...on the payroll pestering me with their idiotic brainwaves. 1169 01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:00,341 I'm sorry, buddy. 1170 01:20:00,546 --> 01:20:02,924 - An example must be made. - What do you mean, buddy? 1171 01:20:04,633 --> 01:20:06,351 You're fired. 1172 01:20:06,552 --> 01:20:08,646 Is that plain enough for you, buster? 1173 01:20:08,929 --> 01:20:10,931 [SOBBING] 1174 01:20:13,892 --> 01:20:15,439 Oh, buddy! 1175 01:20:16,186 --> 01:20:18,188 And don't call me "buddy." 1176 01:20:18,397 --> 01:20:22,868 Oh, please, sir! This job running the elevator, it's all I got! 1177 01:20:23,068 --> 01:20:24,786 Uh, it's okay if you don't like it. 1178 01:20:24,987 --> 01:20:28,366 Just let me keep my job, I'm praying to you. 1179 01:20:28,574 --> 01:20:32,920 Get out of my office! Get up! Up! 1180 01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:35,919 We don't crawl here at Hudsucker Industries! 1181 01:20:37,416 --> 01:20:40,886 BUZZ: I'm sorry, sir! I'm sorry! 1182 01:20:42,087 --> 01:20:44,055 [BUZZ CONTINUES SOBBING] 1183 01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:56,944 MUSSBURGER: Thank you, Aloysius. 1184 01:21:00,898 --> 01:21:03,196 This is... 1185 01:21:04,026 --> 01:21:05,744 ...useful. 1186 01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:21,419 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 1187 01:21:23,295 --> 01:21:28,017 Sorry I'm late, Sid. That back nine at Riverdale's really murder. 1188 01:21:28,801 --> 01:21:31,930 MUSSBURGER: It's a tough course. A real lollapalooza. 1189 01:21:33,138 --> 01:21:34,230 Sit down, son. 1190 01:21:37,643 --> 01:21:42,615 I thought the boardroom would be a swell place to chat undisturbed. 1191 01:21:43,023 --> 01:21:47,153 Seems we've got some security problems here at the Hud. 1192 01:21:47,361 --> 01:21:48,783 You don't say. 1193 01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:51,240 MUSSBURGER: Ordinarily, I wouldn't bother you with it... 1194 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:53,621 ...but this is embarrassing. 1195 01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:56,412 It concerns you directly. 1196 01:21:56,620 --> 01:21:59,248 - How's that, Sid? - It's not serious in itself. 1197 01:21:59,915 --> 01:22:03,089 Some elevator boy that you'd fired came to me... 1198 01:22:03,293 --> 01:22:07,264 ...claiming that you'd stolen the idea for, um, the dingus. 1199 01:22:07,464 --> 01:22:09,432 You'd stolen it from him. 1200 01:22:09,633 --> 01:22:10,976 [MUMBLES] 1201 01:22:12,219 --> 01:22:14,722 - Maybe I was a little rough on him... - Forget it. 1202 01:22:14,930 --> 01:22:18,230 You don't have to explain to me. He's a little person. He's nothing. 1203 01:22:18,434 --> 01:22:19,811 Fire whoever you want. 1204 01:22:21,854 --> 01:22:25,984 No, the problem is who you hired. 1205 01:22:26,191 --> 01:22:30,037 That dame. A spy, as it turns out. 1206 01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:33,707 She must have gotten to that elevator schnook... 1207 01:22:33,907 --> 01:22:37,036 ...and her paper is going to town. 1208 01:22:37,244 --> 01:22:42,671 Sure, sure, we tried to kill the story, but the Argus won't play ball. 1209 01:22:43,208 --> 01:22:46,007 The problem the board will have is you hired this woman... 1210 01:22:46,211 --> 01:22:48,839 ...and you kept her on... 1211 01:22:49,047 --> 01:22:51,846 ...while she was making a chump out of you. 1212 01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:54,599 Serious error in judgment. 1213 01:22:55,387 --> 01:22:57,606 Business is war, kid. 1214 01:22:57,806 --> 01:23:00,855 Take no prisoners, give no second chances. 1215 01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:06,862 When the board meets after New Year's... 1216 01:23:07,065 --> 01:23:08,988 ...your position... 1217 01:23:11,361 --> 01:23:13,204 Looks like you're finished. 1218 01:23:13,697 --> 01:23:15,290 Washed up. 1219 01:23:19,411 --> 01:23:22,790 Oh, fourteenth hole at Riverdale... 1220 01:23:22,998 --> 01:23:26,969 ...some use a mashie, some use a niblick. 1221 01:23:27,169 --> 01:23:28,762 Niblick. 1222 01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,215 You get more loft, more backspin. 1223 01:23:36,428 --> 01:23:37,975 That dame... 1224 01:23:38,805 --> 01:23:41,900 ...she got your throat pretty well slit. 1225 01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:44,068 When you're dead, you stay dead. 1226 01:23:45,270 --> 01:23:48,194 You don't believe me, ask Waring Hudsucker. 1227 01:23:49,858 --> 01:23:54,238 Tough luck, kid. You had a short climb up. 1228 01:23:54,655 --> 01:23:56,783 It's a long way down. 1229 01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:09,419 AMY: Stolen hoop idea from... You can't print that! 1230 01:24:09,628 --> 01:24:10,629 AL: We are printing it! 1231 01:24:10,837 --> 01:24:12,965 She hits the streets this evening. 1232 01:24:13,173 --> 01:24:15,050 And she's dynamite! 1233 01:24:15,259 --> 01:24:16,431 But, AI, it's the bunk! 1234 01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:19,184 Norville showed me his design the, uh, day I met him. 1235 01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:22,232 Buzz couldn't have invented it. Look at him, he's an imbecile. 1236 01:24:22,432 --> 01:24:24,855 Aren't you a broken record? Gunderson did design it. 1237 01:24:25,060 --> 01:24:26,437 Apparently, he's a prodigy. 1238 01:24:26,645 --> 01:24:28,864 - Says who? - You're not the only one with sources. 1239 01:24:29,064 --> 01:24:31,567 Smith has a source on the Hud board. Very hush-hush. 1240 01:24:31,775 --> 01:24:34,119 Yeah. I bet his initials are Sidney J. Mussburger. 1241 01:24:34,319 --> 01:24:37,198 You lost it, Amy. You gone soft, by the looks of it. 1242 01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:39,079 Soft on the dummy from Dubuque. 1243 01:24:40,117 --> 01:24:41,369 - Muncie. AL: Whatever! 1244 01:24:41,577 --> 01:24:45,377 This story's hot and you're no longer on top of it. It's the scoop of the century! 1245 01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:47,675 The other papers won't have this till tomorrow! 1246 01:24:47,874 --> 01:24:51,629 They'll be choking on our dust come morning. 1247 01:24:51,837 --> 01:24:55,307 You're fools, both of you! You're being used, don't you see, ugh? 1248 01:24:55,507 --> 01:24:58,681 Take a break. You worked hard on this story. You broke it for us. 1249 01:24:58,885 --> 01:25:01,934 But it's passed you by and Smith's taking up the slack. 1250 01:25:02,973 --> 01:25:06,318 Tsk, oh, you want slack, I'll give you slack! 1251 01:25:06,518 --> 01:25:10,318 You're not putting me out to pasture! I quit! Consider this my resignation! 1252 01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:11,899 [BANGS] 1253 01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:14,326 Effective immediately! 1254 01:25:16,570 --> 01:25:18,413 Soft. 1255 01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:28,791 BRONFENBRENNER [OVER SPEAKER]: So tell me... 1256 01:25:28,999 --> 01:25:31,752 ...why do you feel this woman betrayed you? 1257 01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:35,339 Tsk, oh, what's the difference? 1258 01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:38,300 The whole world, it seems, is against you? 1259 01:25:38,508 --> 01:25:39,634 I don't know. 1260 01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:41,686 Und the elevator boy... 1261 01:25:41,887 --> 01:25:45,061 ...Buzz, he too works against you? 1262 01:25:45,265 --> 01:25:46,983 NORVILLE: Well, yeah. 1263 01:25:47,184 --> 01:25:48,356 Classic. 1264 01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:51,780 Patient displayed listlessness, apathy, gloomy indifference... 1265 01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:54,028 ...und was blue und mopey. 1266 01:25:54,232 --> 01:25:57,452 When asked what the Rorschach stains represented, patient replied: 1267 01:25:57,944 --> 01:26:02,666 "Nothing much. I don't know. Just a blotch. Sure beats me." 1268 01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:06,461 Patient shows no ambition, no get-up-and-go, no vim. 1269 01:26:06,662 --> 01:26:09,165 He is riding the grand loopen-ze-loop... 1270 01:26:09,373 --> 01:26:12,217 ...that goes from the height of delusional gaiety... 1271 01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,511 ...to the trough of despair. 1272 01:26:14,711 --> 01:26:17,885 He is now near, but not yet at his lowest point. 1273 01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:23,972 When he reaches bottom, he may erupt und pose a danger to himself und others. 1274 01:26:24,179 --> 01:26:26,056 MUSSBURGER: Diagnosis, Dr. Bronfenbrenner? 1275 01:26:26,264 --> 01:26:29,234 Patient is eine manic-depressive paranoid, type B... 1276 01:26:29,434 --> 01:26:31,311 ...with acute schizoid tendencies. 1277 01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:34,524 So patient is...? 1278 01:26:35,273 --> 01:26:37,696 Precisely, nuts! 1279 01:26:38,276 --> 01:26:39,323 Prescription? 1280 01:26:39,528 --> 01:26:44,500 Three things, commitment, electroconvulsive therapy... 1281 01:26:44,700 --> 01:26:48,170 ...maintenance in eine secure facility. 1282 01:26:48,829 --> 01:26:50,752 [ALL APPLAUDING] 1283 01:27:02,968 --> 01:27:05,767 MAN: Yeah, he's a tall guy. A real mess. 1284 01:27:05,971 --> 01:27:10,351 Yeah, yeah, look, you better get down here. He says he's a friend of yours. 1285 01:27:10,559 --> 01:27:14,280 He didn't say. But, man, is he from Squaresville. 1286 01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:18,613 [NORVILLE TALKS INDISTINCTLY] 1287 01:27:18,817 --> 01:27:20,569 [BLOWS HORN] 1288 01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:23,617 NORVILLE: I want a martini! 1289 01:27:23,822 --> 01:27:26,621 It's New Year's Eve. I deserve a martini. 1290 01:27:26,825 --> 01:27:31,126 - Daddy, it's like I've been telling you. You... - I thought you served misfits here. 1291 01:27:31,329 --> 01:27:34,128 Yeah, daddy. That's a roger. But we don't sell alcohol. 1292 01:27:34,332 --> 01:27:36,801 What kind of bar is it, you can't get a martini? 1293 01:27:37,002 --> 01:27:40,472 It's a juice-and-coffee bar, man, like I've been telling you. 1294 01:27:40,672 --> 01:27:45,724 - Right. So I want a martini. - Argh. 1295 01:27:45,927 --> 01:27:49,306 I've had a martini in every bar all the way down here, heh. 1296 01:27:49,514 --> 01:27:51,983 Martinis are for squares, man. 1297 01:27:53,435 --> 01:27:56,405 What'd you call me, you beatnik son of a...? 1298 01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:57,606 AMY: Norville. 1299 01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:00,780 What? 1300 01:28:00,984 --> 01:28:05,410 - Oh-ho, look who's here, Amy Archer... - Oh, no. 1301 01:28:05,614 --> 01:28:07,787 ...Prizeter Pule winner. 1302 01:28:07,991 --> 01:28:10,085 Looking for a nitwit to buy you lunch? 1303 01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:13,960 - Norville, I'm sorry. - Bar fella, I'd like... 1304 01:28:14,164 --> 01:28:15,165 ...a martini, please. 1305 01:28:15,373 --> 01:28:19,003 I tried to tell you so many times, I... 1306 01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:23,216 It's hard to admit when you've been wrong. 1307 01:28:23,423 --> 01:28:25,050 If you could just... 1308 01:28:25,258 --> 01:28:29,889 ...find it in your heart to give me another chance. 1309 01:28:30,972 --> 01:28:31,973 Ha. 1310 01:28:32,182 --> 01:28:34,435 "You take no prisoners, give no second chances." 1311 01:28:34,643 --> 01:28:38,022 Please, Norville! Please give me one more chance! 1312 01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:41,655 And yourself too. We both deserve one. 1313 01:28:41,858 --> 01:28:43,201 Just give us a second chance. 1314 01:28:43,401 --> 01:28:45,369 Together we can fight this thing. 1315 01:28:45,570 --> 01:28:47,993 I know this last story was a lie and we can prove it. 1316 01:28:48,198 --> 01:28:49,541 You got to release a statement. 1317 01:28:49,741 --> 01:28:53,245 - I can help you write it. - Oh, what's the difference? 1318 01:28:53,453 --> 01:28:55,626 I'm all washed up. 1319 01:28:55,831 --> 01:28:59,881 Extinct. Homo sapiens sapicus. 1320 01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:01,052 [HICCUPPING] 1321 01:29:01,253 --> 01:29:05,679 Well, heh, that just about does it. 1322 01:29:05,882 --> 01:29:09,512 I've seen Norville Barnes, the young man in a big hurry... 1323 01:29:09,719 --> 01:29:13,223 ...and I've seen Norville Barnes, the self-important heel. 1324 01:29:13,431 --> 01:29:16,560 But I've never seen Norville Barnes, the quitter... 1325 01:29:17,269 --> 01:29:19,397 ...and I don't like it. 1326 01:29:20,438 --> 01:29:22,406 Fight on. 1327 01:29:22,607 --> 01:29:26,362 Fight on, dear old Muncie. 1328 01:29:27,070 --> 01:29:31,541 Fight on. Hoist the gold and blue. 1329 01:29:31,741 --> 01:29:35,462 You'll be tattered, torn and hurting. 1330 01:29:35,662 --> 01:29:40,418 Once the Munce is done with you. 1331 01:29:41,626 --> 01:29:44,846 Go, Eagles. 1332 01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:49,392 You can't surrender, Norville. Remember. 1333 01:29:50,760 --> 01:29:55,766 [SINGING] Fight on, Fight on Dear old Muncie 1334 01:29:55,974 --> 01:29:56,975 [SOBBING] 1335 01:29:57,183 --> 01:30:02,360 Fight on Hoist the gold and blue 1336 01:30:03,315 --> 01:30:07,115 You'll be tattered, torn and hurting 1337 01:30:08,945 --> 01:30:12,916 You lied to me. How could you lie to me? 1338 01:30:14,743 --> 01:30:18,418 You, a Muncie girl. 1339 01:30:19,706 --> 01:30:22,425 But, Norville, I... 1340 01:30:22,626 --> 01:30:28,975 When you're dead, you stay dead. Just ask Waring Hudsucker! 1341 01:30:30,216 --> 01:30:32,469 Oh, Norville. 1342 01:30:32,677 --> 01:30:34,725 [SOBS] 1343 01:30:35,263 --> 01:30:38,642 NEWSBOY: Extra, extra! New Year's Eve edition! 1344 01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:41,228 Barnes' brain caught red-handed! 1345 01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:43,029 Ideas ersatz! 1346 01:30:43,229 --> 01:30:46,153 Man from Muncie a moron after all! 1347 01:30:46,358 --> 01:30:48,452 Read all about it! 1348 01:30:48,652 --> 01:30:52,998 New Year's Eve edition! Man from Muncie a moron after all! 1349 01:30:53,198 --> 01:30:55,166 You're not so slow, but you're not so swell. 1350 01:30:55,367 --> 01:30:57,495 And it looks like you're an imbecile after all. 1351 01:30:57,702 --> 01:31:00,831 Sure, sure. But your friends called you dope? 1352 01:31:01,039 --> 01:31:03,212 Dipstick? Lamebrain? Schmo? 1353 01:31:03,416 --> 01:31:06,420 Please, buddy, running the elevator, it's all I got. 1354 01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,596 EISENHOWER: Norville, you let me down. 1355 01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:13,098 You let Mrs. Eisenhower down. You let the American people down. 1356 01:31:13,301 --> 01:31:15,679 - And when you're dead, you stay dead. AMY: Ha-ha-ha. 1357 01:31:15,887 --> 01:31:19,187 You stay dead, you stay dead. Sure, sure. 1358 01:31:19,391 --> 01:31:22,440 The kid is screwy, it's official. 1359 01:31:23,061 --> 01:31:26,190 The barred-window boys are out looking for him now. 1360 01:31:26,398 --> 01:31:28,366 We'll see how Wall Street likes the news... 1361 01:31:28,566 --> 01:31:31,820 ...that the president of Hudsucker is headed for the booby hatch. 1362 01:31:32,028 --> 01:31:36,329 Heh, when Doc Bronfenbrenner gets through with him... 1363 01:31:36,533 --> 01:31:38,535 ...he'll need diapers and a dribble cup. 1364 01:31:38,743 --> 01:31:39,744 [ALL CHUCKLE] 1365 01:31:39,953 --> 01:31:42,376 Well, if that's all... 1366 01:31:42,580 --> 01:31:45,459 ALL: Long live the Hud! 1367 01:31:47,627 --> 01:31:49,595 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE] 1368 01:31:53,425 --> 01:31:54,392 [ALL GRUNT] 1369 01:31:54,592 --> 01:31:57,971 Watch where you're... Hiya, buddy! 1370 01:31:58,179 --> 01:32:00,307 - Buzz? - Out on the town, huh? Guess what? 1371 01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:05,487 Sid says I can have my old job back. I deserve a second chance, he says. 1372 01:32:05,687 --> 01:32:08,987 - Huh? He did? - Turns out he's not such a bad guy after all. 1373 01:32:09,190 --> 01:32:10,863 - Ha, ha. - Buzz, that's wonderful. 1374 01:32:11,067 --> 01:32:14,913 He told me you stole that swell hoop idea from me. What gives? 1375 01:32:15,113 --> 01:32:18,959 - Buzz, I would never... - Gee, that was a swell idea. 1376 01:32:19,159 --> 01:32:21,287 And Sid says you stoled it! 1377 01:32:21,494 --> 01:32:23,872 What are you waiting on, Clarence? Pop him one. 1378 01:32:24,080 --> 01:32:25,753 But Buzz... 1379 01:32:26,499 --> 01:32:27,500 [NORVILLE GROANS] 1380 01:32:28,960 --> 01:32:30,212 [CROWD MURMURING] 1381 01:32:34,758 --> 01:32:36,010 He's that big-shot faker! 1382 01:32:36,217 --> 01:32:40,097 - That Wall Street fraud guy. - Nuttier than a fruitcake. 1383 01:32:41,431 --> 01:32:43,183 WOMAN: Somebody call the cops! 1384 01:32:44,059 --> 01:32:45,527 [ALL GASP] 1385 01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:52,946 [CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 1386 01:33:12,045 --> 01:33:14,798 MAN: Ring out the old, ring in the new. 1387 01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:17,976 Ring out the old, ring in the new. 1388 01:33:44,494 --> 01:33:46,246 [PANTING] 1389 01:33:57,882 --> 01:33:59,179 [WIND WHISTLING] 1390 01:34:25,785 --> 01:34:28,038 [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] 1391 01:34:47,932 --> 01:34:49,149 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 1392 01:36:16,187 --> 01:36:17,860 [GASPS] 1393 01:36:18,439 --> 01:36:19,440 [DOOR OPENS] 1394 01:36:20,692 --> 01:36:21,659 [DOOR CLOSES] 1395 01:36:23,361 --> 01:36:24,829 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1396 01:36:40,545 --> 01:36:42,843 Hey. Hey! Aah! 1397 01:36:45,049 --> 01:36:47,222 [CLOCK CHIMING] 1398 01:36:47,427 --> 01:36:48,895 Hey. 1399 01:36:58,396 --> 01:36:59,693 Hey. 1400 01:37:00,356 --> 01:37:01,528 [GRUNTS] 1401 01:37:03,234 --> 01:37:04,577 [SCREAMING] 1402 01:37:07,864 --> 01:37:09,207 [LAUGHS] 1403 01:37:10,992 --> 01:37:12,915 [SCREAMING] 1404 01:37:43,941 --> 01:37:45,909 [CLANKING] 1405 01:37:59,332 --> 01:38:01,926 Strictly speaking, I'm never supposed to do this... 1406 01:38:02,126 --> 01:38:04,345 ...but have you got a better idea? 1407 01:38:22,230 --> 01:38:25,450 MAN [SINGING]: She'll be driving Six white horses when she comes 1408 01:38:25,650 --> 01:38:27,197 She'll be driving six white horses 1409 01:38:33,658 --> 01:38:36,332 We'll all have chicken and dumplings When she comes 1410 01:38:36,661 --> 01:38:39,665 We'll all have chicken and dumplings When she comes 1411 01:38:40,164 --> 01:38:42,917 We'll all have chicken and dumplings Yes, we'll all have chicken and dumplings 1412 01:38:43,126 --> 01:38:45,845 We'll all have chicken and dumplings When she comes 1413 01:38:46,045 --> 01:38:49,174 She'll be coming round the mountain When she comes 1414 01:38:49,382 --> 01:38:52,477 She'll be coming round the mountain When she comes 1415 01:38:52,677 --> 01:38:56,523 She'll be coming round the mountain She'll be coming round the mountain 1416 01:38:56,722 --> 01:39:00,147 She'll be coming round the mountain When she comes 1417 01:39:00,351 --> 01:39:03,275 She'll be coming round the mountain I said coming round the mountain 1418 01:39:03,479 --> 01:39:08,906 Oh, yeah, coming round the mountain When she comes 1419 01:39:12,155 --> 01:39:15,159 Love that tune. How you doing, kid? 1420 01:39:15,366 --> 01:39:17,243 Mr. Hudsucker? 1421 01:39:18,077 --> 01:39:20,455 How do you like that thing? They're all wearing them upstairs. 1422 01:39:20,663 --> 01:39:23,712 Tsk, it's a fad. Anyway... 1423 01:39:23,916 --> 01:39:27,170 ...I see you've been having some, uh, problems with the board. 1424 01:39:27,378 --> 01:39:29,847 I guess Sidney's, uh, putting the screws to you, huh, Norman. 1425 01:39:30,047 --> 01:39:31,219 - Norville. - Yeah, yeah. 1426 01:39:31,424 --> 01:39:33,301 Say what you like about the man's ethics. 1427 01:39:33,509 --> 01:39:35,182 He's a balls-to-the-wall businessman. 1428 01:39:35,386 --> 01:39:38,265 Beat you any way he can. Straight for the jugular. Effective. 1429 01:39:38,473 --> 01:39:39,690 Any particular reason... 1430 01:39:39,891 --> 01:39:41,814 - ...you didn't give him my blue letter? - Oh. 1431 01:39:42,018 --> 01:39:45,568 Jesus, Norman, just a dying man's last words and wishes, no big deal. 1432 01:39:45,771 --> 01:39:48,365 Mr. Hudsucker, I must've mislaid it... 1433 01:39:48,566 --> 01:39:51,615 It's in your apron pocket, right where you left it. 1434 01:39:51,819 --> 01:39:52,866 Imbecile. 1435 01:39:53,070 --> 01:39:55,869 Failure to deliver a blue letter is grounds for dismissal. 1436 01:39:56,073 --> 01:39:58,041 - Jeez, sir, I... - Oh, it's New Year's. 1437 01:39:58,242 --> 01:40:00,540 I'm not gonna add to your woes. I'm just saying. 1438 01:40:00,745 --> 01:40:03,544 Anyway, you wanna read it? You might learn something. 1439 01:40:03,748 --> 01:40:06,376 Might keep you from jumping out of any more windows. 1440 01:40:12,173 --> 01:40:15,803 "Blue letter from the desk of Waring Hudsucker... 1441 01:40:16,010 --> 01:40:19,059 ...to Sidney J. Mussburger, regarding my demise. 1442 01:40:19,263 --> 01:40:21,231 Dear, Sid, by the time you read this... 1443 01:40:21,432 --> 01:40:24,231 ...I will have joined the organization upstairs... 1444 01:40:24,435 --> 01:40:27,735 ...an exciting new beginning. I will retain fond..." 1445 01:40:27,939 --> 01:40:30,988 - Memories. - "Of the years you and I have spent..." 1446 01:40:31,192 --> 01:40:33,741 Yeah, yeah, standard resignation boilerplate. 1447 01:40:33,945 --> 01:40:35,538 Go down to the second paragraph. 1448 01:40:41,619 --> 01:40:44,668 "You will no doubt be wondering why I've decided to end my tenure... 1449 01:40:44,872 --> 01:40:46,795 ...both at Hudsucker and here on Earth. 1450 01:40:46,999 --> 01:40:49,627 From the standpoint of our balance sheet and financials... 1451 01:40:49,835 --> 01:40:51,428 ...sure, sure, we're doing fine. 1452 01:40:51,629 --> 01:40:54,883 But in my personal life, Sidney, I have made grave errors. 1453 01:40:55,091 --> 01:40:57,435 I have let my success become my identity. 1454 01:40:57,635 --> 01:40:59,683 I have foolishly played the great man... 1455 01:40:59,887 --> 01:41:03,562 ...and watched my life become more and more empty as a result. 1456 01:41:03,766 --> 01:41:08,522 My vanity drove away she who could've saved me. 1457 01:41:08,729 --> 01:41:12,029 Oh, yes, I loved a woman once, Sid, as you well know. 1458 01:41:12,233 --> 01:41:13,951 A beautiful, vibrant lady... 1459 01:41:14,151 --> 01:41:18,156 ...and angel who, in her wisdom, saw fit to choose you instead of I." 1460 01:41:18,364 --> 01:41:19,786 Mr. Hudsucker. 1461 01:41:20,324 --> 01:41:23,453 [SOBBING] 1462 01:41:25,621 --> 01:41:26,998 Skip this part. 1463 01:41:27,206 --> 01:41:28,628 [HUDSUCKER BLOWS NOSE] 1464 01:41:29,125 --> 01:41:31,594 Next page. Next page! 1465 01:41:40,052 --> 01:41:41,269 [WHISTLES] 1466 01:41:41,846 --> 01:41:44,565 "This brings me to our company, Sid, and its future. 1467 01:41:44,765 --> 01:41:47,644 Our next president must have the liberty I have had as owner... 1468 01:41:47,852 --> 01:41:50,776 - ...to experiment and even fall." - Fail. 1469 01:41:50,980 --> 01:41:54,826 "Without fear of the whims of the stockholders or an impatient board. 1470 01:41:55,026 --> 01:41:57,745 - The new president must be free to fall... - Fail! 1471 01:41:57,945 --> 01:41:59,993 - ...and learn to fail... - Fall! 1472 01:42:00,197 --> 01:42:03,542 ...and rise again by applying what he has learned. 1473 01:42:03,743 --> 01:42:07,839 Such is business. Such is life. 1474 01:42:08,205 --> 01:42:13,132 Accordingly, I hereby bequeath all of my shares in Hudsucker Industry... 1475 01:42:13,336 --> 01:42:18,433 ...to whomever you and the board shall elect to succeed me as president. 1476 01:42:18,633 --> 01:42:20,351 I assume this will be you, Sidney. 1477 01:42:20,551 --> 01:42:25,523 If not, if the board should choose someone else to be president then, then..." 1478 01:42:25,723 --> 01:42:26,724 Tough titty toenails! 1479 01:42:26,932 --> 01:42:28,400 [LAUGHING] 1480 01:42:29,560 --> 01:42:30,812 That'll show the bastard! 1481 01:42:31,020 --> 01:42:32,818 [LAUGHS] 1482 01:42:38,194 --> 01:42:39,867 [LAUGHS] 1483 01:42:40,071 --> 01:42:41,197 Okay, go ahead. 1484 01:42:41,405 --> 01:42:43,624 "Then I urge you to work with the new president... 1485 01:42:43,824 --> 01:42:46,043 ...and remind him when he needs to be reminded... 1486 01:42:46,243 --> 01:42:48,541 ...that failure should never lead to despair. 1487 01:42:50,498 --> 01:42:53,377 Despair looks only to the past, in business... 1488 01:42:53,834 --> 01:42:55,006 [GRUNTS] 1489 01:42:57,088 --> 01:42:58,385 ...and in love." 1490 01:42:58,589 --> 01:43:01,388 The future is now. 1491 01:43:01,592 --> 01:43:02,969 NORVILLE: The future is now. 1492 01:43:05,179 --> 01:43:07,147 "When our future president needs it... 1493 01:43:07,348 --> 01:43:11,649 ...Waring Hudsucker, hereby bequeaths him... 1494 01:43:11,852 --> 01:43:14,901 ...his second chance." 1495 01:43:23,614 --> 01:43:24,740 [GROANING] 1496 01:43:29,286 --> 01:43:30,583 [ALOYSIUS SCREAMING] 1497 01:43:34,625 --> 01:43:36,753 - Ha-ha-ha. NORVILLE: Aah! 1498 01:43:39,380 --> 01:43:41,178 [CLANKING] 1499 01:43:45,970 --> 01:43:48,598 Deliver that letter in the morning! 1500 01:43:54,019 --> 01:43:58,320 Ha, ha. Yoo-hoo! Yaa-haa! 1501 01:44:48,866 --> 01:44:53,997 MOSES: And so began 1959. The New Year. 1502 01:44:54,205 --> 01:44:58,631 When he learned that Norville owned the company, Sidney was upset at first. 1503 01:44:59,210 --> 01:45:01,884 It's a good thing Doc Bronfenbrenner was there... 1504 01:45:02,087 --> 01:45:03,088 Sidney? 1505 01:45:03,297 --> 01:45:06,642 ...because he was able to keep Sidney from harming his old self. 1506 01:45:06,842 --> 01:45:10,767 He prescribed a long rest in the sana... In the sanator, uh... 1507 01:45:10,971 --> 01:45:13,190 In the booby hatch. 1508 01:45:13,390 --> 01:45:16,018 Now, Norville, heh... 1509 01:45:16,227 --> 01:45:19,356 ...he went on and ruled with wisdom and compassion... 1510 01:45:19,563 --> 01:45:23,193 ...and started dreaming up them exciting new ideas again. 1511 01:45:23,400 --> 01:45:24,777 NORVILLE: You know, for kids. 1512 01:45:24,985 --> 01:45:27,784 I had the boys down at R&D throw together this prototype... 1513 01:45:27,988 --> 01:45:29,831 ...so our discussion could have focus... 1514 01:45:30,032 --> 01:45:32,831 ...and to give you gentlemen of the board a firsthand look. 1515 01:45:38,123 --> 01:45:42,424 MOSES: That's the story of how Norville Barnes climbed way up... 1516 01:45:42,628 --> 01:45:46,053 ...to the 44th floor of the Hudsucker building... 1517 01:45:46,257 --> 01:45:51,013 ...and then fell all the way down, but didn't quite squish his self. 1518 01:45:51,220 --> 01:45:55,521 You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the 45th floor. 1519 01:45:55,724 --> 01:45:57,476 But that's another story. 1520 01:45:57,685 --> 01:46:00,905 [MOSES LAUGHING] 1521 01:50:40,926 --> 01:50:42,894 [English - US - SDH] 117026

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