Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,619
-[wind howling]
2
00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:11,232
-[projector whirring]
3
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,970
-[dramatic music playing]
4
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,584
-Announcer: A world at war.
5
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,064
Hitler's army's lay waste
to Europe.
6
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:20,324
But from the ashes,
a hero arises.
7
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,328
It's the American Ranger.
8
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,980
-How do you do?
9
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:25,334
-Announcer: Give 'em one
for us back home.
10
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,163
-How about I make it two?
11
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,251
-[grunts]
12
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:29,939
[laughing]
13
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:31,637
-Announcer: But it sounds like
our war heroes
14
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:34,084
aren't good enough
for our Soviet comrades.
15
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:37,171
-[in Russian accent] This war
needs a hero who clawed his way
16
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,341
from the womb of Mother Russia.
17
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:43,347
-[singing in Russian]
-This war needs the Soviet Slayer.
18
00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,521
-[grunts]
19
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,956
-It's a... good thing
he's on our side.
20
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,709
-Announcer: Yeah, for now.
21
00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:55,619
-[in Russian accent]
When the Nazis are destroyed,
22
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:58,974
I will challenge the Ranger
to hand-to-hand combat.
23
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,406
The world will see
the superiority
24
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,503
of the communist spirit.
25
00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:05,722
-Announcer:
Oh, look at Ranger, kids,
26
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,981
just hankering for a chance
to show that commie what for.
27
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:11,806
-Yes, that is right. Yippie.
28
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,514
-[projector rattles]
29
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:16,292
-The Soviet Slayer
was the pride of Mother Russia.
30
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:21,037
-Lost to time,
like the great Soviet Union.
31
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:25,041
-That which is lost
may also be found.
32
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,695
-[rattling]
-[whirring]
33
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:35,493
-The American Ranger,
where is he?
34
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,491
-[theme music playing]
35
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:30,024
-Let's take it from the top
one more time.
36
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:33,813
-Debbie Devizo made short work
of our combined forces.
37
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,459
-[slow-motion scream]
38
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,203
-My ex-wife made her way
to my fortified safe room.
39
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,985
-The ex-wife who wanted
to kill you for abandoning her
40
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,991
on a desert island for decades.
41
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,643
-You think that detail
is important?
42
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:47,466
Yes, she was about to
kill me when...
43
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:50,737
-[groans]
44
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,740
-You saved his life.
45
00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:55,091
-Well, I couldn't let Debbie
commit cold-blooded murder.
46
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,742
-I screamed for Rex to,
"Get out of the way!
47
00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:00,046
This is all my fault!
Save yourself!"
48
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,623
-You said that?
49
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:04,400
-I was screaming it...
in my head so loud.
50
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:06,135
-Uh-huh.
51
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:08,746
-I could feel myself
being cooked from the inside,
52
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:09,927
and then...
53
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,282
-[grunting]
-[yelling]
54
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,154
-I lunged at her.
55
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,885
-Dr. Devizo brought Debbie down.
56
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:24,860
-And once more, Titanium Lex
never engaged Debbie Devizo?
57
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:27,293
-[shrieking]
58
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:28,508
-[groans]
59
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:30,694
-That's correct.
60
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,335
-You're both free to go.
61
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,088
-So, you've finished
your investigation?
62
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,869
-Not even close.
63
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:41,093
I've got hits on radar matching
Titanium Lex's signature
64
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,704
coming and going from
the sight of Debbie's attack.
65
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,955
But the two of you say
Lex wasn't there.
66
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,178
And on top of that,
no one can tell me what happened
67
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:50,008
when your team
was stuck in the future.
68
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,706
-It's fuzzy.
Time travel does that to you.
69
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,284
-Best rest assured,
Imma get to the bottom of it.
70
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,927
-What are we doing, Devizo?
71
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:00,538
-What we have to.
72
00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:03,368
-We both know
what Lex was becoming,
73
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:06,507
and now she's out there, lost.
74
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,941
-Rex, before, um...
75
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,028
-What is it?
76
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,041
-Titanium Lex:
Dad, I'm sorry I let you down.
77
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,561
I won't come back
unless I've beaten this evil
78
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,865
that I inherited
from Frau Mantis.
79
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,442
If I feel myself slipping away,
80
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:22,959
I promise to...
81
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,702
do what needs to be done.
82
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:28,183
Please don't look for me.
I love you, Dad.
83
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,362
-Black Saturn:
Ugh! This is disgusting!
84
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,405
-I admit,
cooking these chicken eggs
85
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,450
is more challenging
than I thought.
86
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:40,496
-What? N-no! Look at this.
87
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:43,631
"The Royal Couple of
Crime-Fighting Comedy"?
88
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,935
I'm so glad I left
The Groaner in the dust
89
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:47,941
and never think
about him anymore.
90
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:49,643
But, yeah,
your eggs are freaking ass.
91
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,201
Why is their gravel in here?
92
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,898
-Liplor's my friend.
93
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,465
He's not some dumbass
that puts gravel in eggs.
94
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,863
-I absolutely put gravel
in these eggs.
95
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:00,336
-Well, looks like I'll be
taking my breakfast to...
96
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,687
Hyah!
97
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,216
I'm gonna go watch cartoons.
98
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,610
-[muttering]
99
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,262
-Rex, you okay there, buddy?
100
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:09,606
-Uh, I wouldn't do that.
Liplor put rocks...
101
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,957
Uh, Ranger, a little help here?
102
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:16,658
-What say we put Lex's letter
down for a bit?
103
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,318
-[door opens]
-Where are you going?
104
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:20,452
-I think some of our mail
is going to the mansion.
105
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,024
Thought I'd swing by
and sort it out.
106
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,541
-I'll go!
-I wasn't asking for company.
107
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,795
-Royal couple
of crime-fighting comedy?
108
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,148
We'll show them, right?
109
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,938
-No idea
what you're talking about.
110
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,026
-[crunching]
111
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,551
-Good God, Rex. Are you okay?
112
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,765
-My daughter
is in the fight of her life,
113
00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:39,115
and she doesn't want my help.
114
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,775
Couldn't be better.
115
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:43,469
-Hey, Ranger's on the TV!
116
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,387
-...when Russia revealed
to the UN Assembly
117
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:47,262
that their war hero,
the Soviet Slayer,
118
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,444
had been successfully reanimated
from his time tunnel.
119
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:53,530
-American Ranger, I have
hounded you through time itself.
120
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:57,181
Come out and face me,
the Soviet Slayer.
121
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,267
-N-n-no one talks to the symbol
of America like that.
122
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:03,747
-His heart is a sickle,
his will a hammer.
123
00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:07,188
Oh, and we give him hands
of a bear. Bear hands.
124
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,757
-You're gonna kick his
bear-handed ass, right, Ranger?
125
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,495
-What? Of course!
126
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,773
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to use the restroom.
127
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,554
-Bear hands?
[retching]
128
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:21,824
-[knock on door]
129
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,210
-Cooch: Ranger?
130
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,823
-[stuttering]
Co... Uh, uh, c-come in.
131
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:26,263
-You okay?
132
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,739
-Of course. Why do you ask?
133
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,739
-Liplor said you looked
pretty rattled
134
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,911
when that bear-handed Russian
called you out.
135
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:34,517
I said you're just pumped
to kick his ass.
136
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,698
-Oh, that? It's probably
going to blow over.
137
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:37,924
I mean, I hope it doesn't.
138
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,443
Oh.
[grunts]
139
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,306
No, I'd like to take
a shot at that guy.
140
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,488
But you know how I am about
keeping these boots polished.
141
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,714
-I told you he was okay.
142
00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,097
-I mean, how could
he even get over here,
143
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,887
what with the visas
and all the air travel?
144
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,671
It'd be a logistical nightmare.
145
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:54,326
And... and Soviet Slayer?
146
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,461
The Soviet Union
isn't even a thing anymore.
147
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,723
America won, and now
this clown wants a rematch?
148
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:00,857
Sorry, pal.
149
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:02,289
The winner makes the rules,
150
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,675
so I'm just going
to stay indoors...
151
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:04,768
-[doorbell dings]
152
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,426
-...eat delivery Italian pizzas,
153
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,210
and wait for this
whole silly thing to blow over.
154
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:12,561
-[reporters clamoring]
-American Ranger, are you going to defend America's honor?
155
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:13,816
-When's the big fight?
156
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:15,484
-Great.
[laughs nervously]
157
00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,442
They're as excited as I am.
158
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:23,006
-Black Saturn:
And after I ran across town to tell The Groaner how I felt--
159
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,621
again, just to mess with him,
160
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,532
not because I really have
feelings for him,
161
00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:29,057
he throws his new girlfriend
in my face.
162
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:30,541
What do you think
he was trying to say,
163
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:31,931
and do you think he'll be here?
164
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,373
-Don't care
and no plans to start.
165
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,060
-Yeah, cool. Follow my lead.
166
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,151
Hello? We need
to get our mail quick.
167
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:39,887
My girlfriend... friends...
168
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:42,768
my car full of girlfriends
is waiting.
169
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,070
-Oh, good.
You brought Black Saturn.
170
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,377
-Hell, yes, he did! Cup check!
171
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:48,694
-Aah!
-[laughing]
172
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,077
-What's he doing here?
173
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,382
-He's stalking The Groaner.
174
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,038
-What? No, I'm not.
175
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,301
I'm here to see,
um, uh, Buster Nut.
176
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,295
Buster Nut, get down here,
you old son of a bitch.
177
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,738
-Ugh, what's with
all the yelling?
178
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,524
I was polishing the knob.
179
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,308
-If I had ears,
they'd be bleeding.
180
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,313
-Yeah, because I'd be
fucking 'em.
181
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,525
-[laughs]
Yes, Buster Nut.
182
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,014
Please entertain your guest.
183
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:12,014
Robobot and I
have mail to go over.
184
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,231
-Can I offer you a drink?
185
00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:15,576
-Oh, sure.
186
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:17,186
-Then let me see
if you have a cup!
187
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:18,236
-[screams, groans]
188
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:19,670
Yep, you get the tip.
189
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:22,587
-Hey, Saturn.
What are you doing here?
190
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:25,553
-If you came to arrest us
for murder, we confess.
191
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,772
We just killed that hike.
192
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,252
-You're working out now?
193
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,991
How long do you think
that'll last?
194
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:33,162
-It's a lifestyle,
so probably forever.
195
00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:34,688
Oh, my God, Patty.
196
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:35,732
Show Saturn
what happened on the hike.
197
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,126
You're gonna love this.
198
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:38,999
They call her Patty Mime
for a reason.
199
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:40,650
Y-yeah.
[laughs]
200
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:41,914
Wait for it, wait for it,
wait for it.
201
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:43,306
[laughs]
202
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:44,219
Oh, here it comes,
here it comes.
203
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:46,223
[laughing hysterically]
204
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:49,395
[guffawing]
205
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,102
-What? That's not your laugh.
206
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,319
-Well, you're probably
used to my sympathy laugh.
207
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:56,359
Patty gets down in there
and pulls out the deep guffaws.
208
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,836
-I'll go start the shower.
209
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,889
-Ooh!
[laughs] -I'll be up soon.
210
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,241
-Looks like this relation's
on its last legs.
211
00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,981
If you ever need
someone to talk to--
212
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:05,372
-That won't be necessary.
213
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,155
We're great
making our own juice,
214
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:08,849
intermittent fasting.
215
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,066
I'm killing it at life,
and Patty is a big part of that.
216
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,856
-You choose some mime over me,
217
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:16,431
just because I'm not
killing it at life?
218
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:17,909
-Oh, God,
can we please not do this?
219
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:19,209
-You think Patty knows
220
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,734
the first thing
about killing it?
221
00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:22,608
I'll show you killing it.
[crying]
222
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,739
-Saturn, come on.
Oh, he's crying.
223
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,390
-[overlapping chatter]
224
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,177
-You gonna talk to them or not?
225
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:31,181
-Rex, what should I do?
226
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:32,483
-[mutters]
227
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,313
-Thank you.
Great advice.
228
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,836
Okay, I'm going out there.
229
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,711
Fellow citizens,
I'm sure you came here today
230
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:40,933
hankering for a fight.
231
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:42,712
But as a symbol of America,
232
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,406
I have better things
to do than--
233
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,064
-What do you say
to the Soviet Slayer's claims
234
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,237
that Russia is superior
to the United States?
235
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,893
-You watch your mouth!
236
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,027
If I had a bar of soap,
you'd be blowing bubbles.
237
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,330
-He also said,
"The American flag is ugly like a butt is ugly."
238
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:58,118
-That's it!
239
00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,773
You tell that son of a bitch
that I'm going to shut
240
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,687
that Russki mouth of his
with these fists right here.
241
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:04,873
-USA! USA!
-[cheering]
242
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,606
-What do we have here?
243
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:11,830
-[on the phone]
Have you taken care of the visas and the permit?
244
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,092
Yes! You did a good job on deal.
245
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,785
Hmm? Eh, fine.
246
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:19,313
You are killing it
with the making of this deal.
247
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,748
An American
will organize the fight.
248
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:24,005
-The Slayer, is he ready?
249
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:27,928
-When he started training,
that cow was alive.
250
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,719
-[grunting]
251
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:37,944
-Oh, Rex, good-good morning.
252
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:39,285
You're up early...
253
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,034
or never went to bed.
254
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:43,205
Anyway, turns out I grabbed
some of Devizo's mail
255
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,471
by mistake yesterday.
256
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,174
Just gonna go drop it off.
257
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,611
I'm sure Lex is okay, Rex.
258
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,130
You just have to trust her.
259
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:57,052
-American Ranger,
you look chipper.
260
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,351
-I think I've been
working too hard.
261
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,007
Gonna take a vacation,
262
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:01,701
somewhere out of the way
where no one can find me.
263
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,528
-What about your fight
with the scary Russian bear man?
264
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,447
-That was all theater.
265
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,582
I'm not actually getting in
the ring with a foreign agent.
266
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,705
I doubt the U.S. government
would even let me fight.
267
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,187
-They weren't happy about it,
268
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,797
but I got it all sorted out
by killing it.
269
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,718
Also, my dad owns Cableverse.
270
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,373
-What are we talking about?
-Ah, ah.
271
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,767
In this business,
show, don't tell.
272
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,212
-Announcer: One night only!
273
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,079
The Ranger
versus the Slayer,
274
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:29,040
fight for a crowd of millions!
275
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,690
Cableverse
and Black Ring Productions
276
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:34,735
bring you to the action
in just one week.
277
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:39,311
We will find out which nation
is better once and for all!
278
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:42,659
-Well?
279
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,972
-That's, uh, just,
um, fantastic.
280
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,619
I'm so excited,
I can't... I c-can't...
281
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:48,664
Excuse me.
282
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,278
[retches, coughs]
283
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:52,489
-Ranger?
284
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,410
-What am I going to do, Rex?
285
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,632
-This is about
the Soviet Slayer?
286
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,334
[sighs]
I'm... I'm sorry.
287
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,331
I've got other things
on my mind.
288
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:04,163
-It was the end
of the war, Berlin.
289
00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:05,812
The Russians and Allies
worked together
290
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:07,546
clearing the streets.
291
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,157
The Slayer and I fought
not 100 yards from each other
292
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,378
against an army
of proctolo-Nazis.
293
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:14,727
-I'm happy to say
I've never heard about that.
294
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,258
-It got messy, nothing any of us
were proud of.
295
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:21,312
Anyway, I watched the Slayer
tear 10 inches of steel in half
296
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:23,349
with his bare hands.
297
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,045
I knew he wanted to face me,
298
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,142
that it would be up to me
to prove to the world
299
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,181
that America was better
than Russia.
300
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:31,357
Then I was offered the chance
to enter a time tunnel
301
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:33,323
until America needed me again.
302
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:36,411
The thought
that haunts me is this,
303
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,281
did I choose the tunnel,
304
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:40,673
or did I run from the Slayer?
305
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:44,497
And if I didn't,
why do I want to run now?
306
00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,071
-No.
307
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,546
-Wha-- what?
308
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:53,596
-No one is running anywhere,
not again.
309
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,123
We're the League of Freedom,
goddamn it.
310
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,467
We don't run off and hide
when there's trouble.
311
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,517
We stick it out with each other.
312
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:03,172
You're fighting
that mountain of a man, Ranger,
313
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,832
and we're going
to help you do it.
314
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:08,924
-[exhaling]
315
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:09,832
[grunting]
316
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,266
-[grunting]
317
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,185
-Goddamn it, he's fast.
-Ah! Stay away from me!
318
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:16,965
-[growling]
319
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:20,838
-[clucking]
320
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,541
-[both grunting]
321
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,199
-[laughs]
322
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,370
-[camera shutter clicks]
323
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:30,159
-Black Saturn:
Welcome, young and old,
324
00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:32,991
to the weigh-in of the century!
325
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,950
Ooh, a lean and mean 225.
326
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,640
You got that beat, Slayer?
327
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:41,823
Wow. 435 pounds?
328
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:47,086
-If you are scared,
we can end this fight right now.
329
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,001
Just lick my boot.
330
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:51,826
-You-- you should watch
that Russki tongue of yours.
331
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,529
-Are they gonna kiss?
332
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:59,454
-No, this is just something
boxers do... for some reason.
333
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,321
-I can smell your fear.
334
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,102
It is same smell
I've smelled
335
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,107
since landing in your country.
336
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,759
-America does not smell of fear.
337
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,243
It smells of roaming buffalo
and bravery!
338
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,723
-Then, why do your eyes say
you will lose?
339
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:14,114
-Get a translator
for my eyes, dipshit.
340
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:16,728
They're saying, "Bring it on!"
341
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:20,599
-And after you lose,
America will be loser, too.
342
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,342
-Audience: Oh!
343
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,913
-If I lose
to a Russian bear man,
344
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,041
I'll climb back
into that time tunnel myself,
345
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:29,564
and you can put me to sleep
for another 50 years.
346
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,128
-[audience cheering]
347
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,865
-Well, I, too,
will make this promise.
348
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:33,786
-[audience cheering]
349
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,610
-Did I just win an Emmy?
350
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,137
Let's make this official.
351
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,802
-Devizo:
Thanks for swinging by, Robobot.
352
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:49,112
-If any more "mail" shows up,
please let me know.
353
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,799
-Why don't you guys just fuck
and get it over with?
354
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,458
-The sexual tension is thick.
355
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:57,456
-I am not trying to bed a robot.
356
00:14:57,635 --> 00:15:00,895
-Well, why else do you two keep
sneaking off into the basement?
357
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,899
-Yes!
358
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:08,387
I have been exploring
my sexuality with a robot.
359
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,779
-Yeah, that's it.
360
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:13,093
-Now it seems like that's not it
361
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,130
and there's something else
going on.
362
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,915
-It's none of your business
what we are doing,
363
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:21,750
and if anyone asks again,
I take their goddamn eyes.
364
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,531
-Okay, man. Jeez.
365
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:25,932
-Oh, Saturn, I was just--
366
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,319
-Groaner, get down here.
367
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,191
-That was easy. See ya.
368
00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:31,153
-Ugh! I said "The Groaner."
369
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,541
-Could you make this quick?
370
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,154
We're taking Gallagher
for a walk.
371
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,894
-A dog?
Tell me she already had it.
372
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,066
-Nope. Got it together.
373
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,851
-Rescued it, he means.
374
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:42,326
-I'll make this quick.
I've recently been killing it,
375
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:43,856
of course, for me,
it's like breathing,
376
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,420
and I'm pretty much putting on
377
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,246
a multimillion-dollar
sporting event,
378
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:50,694
and, oh, look,
I've got one free VIP ticket.
379
00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:53,082
-Oh, God, I hate sports,
but Patty could--
380
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,736
-I'd love to.
-Damn it!
381
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,830
-[Gallagher barking]
-Both: Coming, Gallagher!
382
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:57,829
-Ouch.
383
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,130
-Brutal, dude.
384
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,916
-You two wanna make a buck?
385
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:06,839
-Liplor: Welcome, fight fans,
to the main event,
386
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:10,449
any minute now,
as we finish up our undercard.
387
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:11,841
-[audience cheering]
-[grunting]
388
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,017
-I believe every time they land
one of these punches,
389
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,672
that's a field goal.
390
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,146
-Hmm. That sounds right.
391
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:20,806
And when the field goals
are tallied,
392
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,980
the loser will be drawn
and quartered
393
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,506
with their entrails shared
among the audience.
394
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,120
Okay, I'm being told
I'm an idiot
395
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,680
and I should stop talking.
396
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:30,337
-That was probably a mistake.
397
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,251
-Saturn, is this necessary?
398
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:33,636
-Get out there!
399
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:34,648
-[bell dings]
-[audience jeering]
400
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:39,518
-You stay on your feet.
401
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:41,354
Avoid his big swings.
402
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:42,832
Give it a few rounds,
403
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,742
and I'll tell you
when to make your move.
404
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,436
You are not gonna let this guy
put you back in a time tunnel.
405
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,005
-You beat the shit out of me.
406
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:50,662
-Had to make it look real
for the bookies.
407
00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:52,875
-All right, Ranger, it's time.
408
00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:58,932
-I'm getting word
that the boxers
409
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,575
are about to walk to the ring.
410
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,628
-I think it's where
they come out of a box,
411
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,684
which is where the sport
gets its name.
412
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,979
That's not it either?
Well, that's dumb.
413
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,814
-[audience jeering]
414
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,936
-♪ You wanna mess
with my country ♪
415
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,559
♪ 'Tis of thee and get crazy
in the land of liberty? ♪
416
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:19,561
♪ You're gonna get jacked up
and cut by me... ♪
417
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:21,654
-Cut the music. Stop the music.
418
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:22,693
-[song stops]
419
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,427
-Hello, fight fans.
420
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,178
Do you ever feel like
no matter how hard you try,
421
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:30,880
it will never be enough
for the person you love?
422
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,270
All of this is
so goddamn impressive,
423
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:35,493
but without
that one person here,
424
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,193
I might just cancel it all.
425
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,970
-[audience jeering]
426
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:42,632
-Groaner?
427
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,850
-Saturn.
428
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:45,239
-You came.
429
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:48,146
-I told you I was killing it,
you piece of shit!
430
00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:50,108
Suck it! Fight's on.
431
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,416
-[audience cheering]
432
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,292
-Okay, that's more like it.
433
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:54,858
-[dings]
434
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,550
-[gasps]
435
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:59,027
-So, do they plan this dance
before the show?
436
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,168
-Oh, absolutely.
They have to, right?
437
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:02,601
-[grunting]
438
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:03,907
-If your nukes
are as slow as your arms,
439
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,613
America can sleep well tonight.
440
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:06,960
-[grunting]
441
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,386
-[dings]
-[laughs]
442
00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:13,313
-[audience booing]
443
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:16,487
-Don't you see
what's happening, Rex?
444
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,180
America is the greatest country
in the world.
445
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,748
I couldn't lose this fight
446
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,974
any more than a bird
can forget how to fly!
447
00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:25,374
-You know his weakness. Use it.
448
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:26,839
-[dings]
449
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:29,328
-Give up, Slayer. You can't win.
450
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,629
-John Wayne was a draft dodger.
451
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:32,756
-Come again.
452
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:35,377
-George Washington owned slaves.
453
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:36,509
-That is a rumor!
454
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,120
-Shirley Temple couldn't sing.
455
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:41,382
-What?
-Or dance.
456
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:44,205
-[grinding teeth]
You son of a bitch!
457
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,394
-[bones crack]
458
00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:48,425
-[grunting]
459
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:51,648
-Oh!
460
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,216
-Ranger, move your feet.
461
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,743
-Looks like Ranger's
gonna win this thing.
462
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,047
-Oh!
463
00:18:58,049 --> 00:18:59,749
-[grunts]
-[dings]
464
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,663
-[audience jeering]
-Oh, God.
465
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:05,056
Oh. I don't think
I can do it, Rex.
466
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,711
-You're a member of the League.
467
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:11,454
You don't run away,
not like... not like Lex.
468
00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:13,588
Oh, God. What have I done?
469
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,591
I'm pushing you because of Lex.
470
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:17,293
You don't have to do this.
471
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,289
-Yes, I do.
472
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,816
That thing took
so much joy from me.
473
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,520
I missed seeing my wife
grow old, baby-booming.
474
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,559
I was in suspended animation
while that sailor was kissing
475
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:31,784
that nurse on V-Day.
476
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,433
-I heard that wasn't consensual.
477
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:34,997
-Then another example!
478
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,354
The point is,
I went into that time tunnel
479
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,274
because of this bastard
once already.
480
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:40,739
I'm not doing it again.
481
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:41,828
-[dings]
482
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:46,835
-[grunting]
483
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:55,107
-[screaming]
484
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:56,849
-[groaning]
485
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:58,411
-[audience cheering]
-[bell dings]
486
00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:00,628
-It is over.
487
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:02,198
-[grunts]
488
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,855
-Audience [chanting]:
Ranger! Ranger! Ranger!
489
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:08,119
Ranger! Ranger! Ranger!
490
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:09,124
Ranger! Ranger...
491
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,115
-I'm not doing this.
492
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,776
-[audience gasps]
493
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,469
-I know what it's like
in those time tunnels.
494
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,817
I can't condemn
another man to that hell,
495
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,557
not even a dirty Soviet bitch.
496
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:26,014
-[in slow motion]
Look out!
497
00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:27,531
-[grunting]
498
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:34,063
I cannot do it either.
499
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,803
Those things,
they are the real enemy.
500
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,405
-Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
501
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:45,242
-You fucking fuck
life-stealing piece of shit!
502
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:48,598
-Goddamn machine!
You go back to hell!
503
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,949
-[audience cheering]
-Crowd's happy, Rex. We did it.
504
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,859
-Yeah. I just wish
Lex was here to see it.
505
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:56,906
-Devizo: You're late.
506
00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:59,211
-I'm sorry. I had to...
You know what?
507
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:00,428
It would take too long
to explain.
508
00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:02,037
-Do you think Rex knows?
509
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,647
-No, and he never can.
510
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,658
-[dramatic music plays]
511
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:11,048
-[theme music playing]
512
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,157
-[monkey chatters]
-Man: Stupid monkey.
513
00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:31,512
-[paper tearing]
-[monkey cry]
514
00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:32,551
-[slap]
515
00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:37,151
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37139
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
