All language subtitles for Roc s02e07 The Artificial Insemination Story.eng

I do believe..

Uh, that there's some
fairly good news out there.

Use of cocaine, for example, by
teenagers is dramatically down.

We have got to have
the courage to change.

Experience is important, yes.

I've gotten a lot of
good experience..

Now I'm confused.

I don't know whether to
vote for Manny moe or Jack.

[Scatting]

♪ Them that's got shall have

♪ them that's not shall lose

♪ so the Bible says

♪ and it still is news

♪ mama may have

♪ papa may have

♪ but god bless the child

♪ that's got his own ♪
them that's got shall get

♪ them that's not shall lose

♪ them that's got shall get

♪ them that's not shall lose

[Man on TV] 'The
look in your eyes... '

[laughing]

- Did you hear that, pop?
- Mm-hmm.

You know I got a lot of
money ridin' on this debate.

- Who do you think won so far?
- Well, it's hard to tell.

Well, way I see it, you know

bush made a good
point when he said

Clinton's tax plan will
hurt the average cab driver.

But hey, Clinton
scored big when he said

he wanted to create
more millionaires.

Yeah, but perot's got the edge.

He sounded like jed clampett.

Eleanor, I said I don't
wanna talk about it. Please.

Roc, honey, if your
check-up didn't go well

there's no shame to it.

Uh, what check-up was that?

Oh, roc just took
another fertility test.

What's the problem, son?

Your tadpoles still
runnin' in the slow Lane?

Yeah, somethin' like that, pop.

But I wish you
wouldn't put it that way.

Well, maybe the doctors
don't know what he's doing.

Did he mention that your
drawers may be too tight?

You know, come to think of it

boy, that would explain
a whole lotta things.

Hey! Oh, why don't we
continue this conversation

in the kitchen, honey?

Now, roc, come on, baby.

Now, whatever the doctor
told you involves me too.

- Now, what's going on?
- Well, it's my sperm count.

See, my problem's gotten worse.

Oh, baby.

The doctor said
today the chances of

might getting you pregnant
are less than two percent.

[Sighing]

- I'm sorry, Eleanor.
- Oh, roc. Don't be sorry.

It's not your fault.

Well, I can't help
feeling like I let you down.

You know there's so
many things I can't give you.

Always thought I'd at least
be able to give you this.

Oh, roc.

There are other
options. I mean..

We could always adopt.

But that's not fair to you.

I'm the one with the problem.

And I know how you were
looking forward to having that..

Life growing inside you.

To be honest, roc, I was, but..

I guess I'm gonna have to
just get used to the fact that

that's not gonna happen.

Well, you know, there is..

One other way.

What's that?

Well, the doctor, you know,
did bring up the possibility of..

You know, um..

Artificial insemination.

I see.

So what you're suggesting here

is that I get impregnated
with sperm from a donor?

That's interesting.

Well-well, I, you know, I knew
you wouldn't like it, you know.

I just felt obligated
to mention it.

- So, what's for dinner?
- No, roc. Now..

Hold on, I never said
I didn't like your idea.

I just said I never
considered that.

Artificial insemination.

Let's see.

I get to be pregnant.

You get to be a daddy.

And we both get to have a
beautiful little baby to love.

[Chuckling]

So this would really
make you happy, Eleanor?

Yes, roc, I-I think it would.

- Well, then... Let's do it.
- You sure?

Are you kiddin'?
This is the best way.

See, when you're
spittin' and cursin' in labor

you can't blame me, you
gotta blame the donor guy.

Oh, roc!

[Both laughing]

Oh, baby, we're
gonna be a family.

Yeah, uh-huh.

[Sighing]

[Scatting]

♪ Keep on rockin'..

My band will put
your club on the map.

Huh?

Well, yeah, you never
heard of me 'cause

for the past couple of years
I've been outta the country.

Yeah, I've been settin' up
the Moscow jazz institute.

Yeah, it's-it's.. Hello?

Hello?

[Indistinct]

Damn, roc. If I don't
find a gig soon, man

miles and Curtis are
gonna walkout on me.

Well, what's your
problem? I thought you said

those guys in your band
were jazz heavyweights.

Well, only to people
in the business, man.

You know, on the inside. I
mean, they're greats, roc.

But they're not really greats.

They've only played
with the greats.

They're sorta
like, sorta like, uh

what tito was to the Jackson 5.

Yeah, I see your problem.

- What's up, g?
- Hey, Troy.

It's good to see you.
Hey, you got my money?

Well, that's what I
came to tell you, see.

I sold all of last week's
inventory at the flea market

but... well, I spent it.

Say, what?!

- Joey, telephone.
- 'Yeah?'

see, ice-t is coming to concert.

So I figured, hey, I
can make a few bucks.

You know what I'm saying?

So... i.. Well, you know..

Well, what?

You're not selling
drugs, are you?

No.

There's..

- 'What you sellin', son?'
- Look, look, son.

Look, I'm gonna
tell you somethin'.

You better take care
of yourself, alright?

Alright.

When I talk to that boy, you
know, sometimes I wonder.

You know, I mean, you know,
about havin' kids. You know?

Even-even a cute little
baby will grow up one day

to be a teenager.

Oh, don't worry, son.

You give your
child the right values

and his grandpa will
be around to help too.

Yeah. Well, I'm
glad of that, pop.

Yeah, and from time to
time, there's uncle Joey.

Oh, well, there's
always boarding school.

[Chuckling]

- Well, I got us a gig.
- Well, what's wrong with that?

Well, you know, I wanted to
book someplace like a club

or a resort, you know,
something that miles and Curtis

would be impressed
with, not a bar mitzvah.

Who cares what it-what
it is as long as it pays?

Well, I don't know, roc.
I mean, a gig like that

for a serious musician like
me is-is humiliating, man.

Humiliating compared to
what? You're unemployed.

Yeah, but I always find a kinda,
quiet dignity to that. You know?

- Hi, guys. How you doing?
- 'Hey, sweetheart.'

- look, you just take the job.
- Yeah, take the job.

You don't even know
what we talkin' about.

That's right, I
don't. Take the job.

You have no choice, son.

If you don't take it,
you'll lose your band.

Yeah, I know, pop. But they
were expectin' somethin' better.

You know? I mean, how am
I gonna sell this idea to 'em?

Hey, hey, you-you guys
remember Sammie Davis, Jr?

Well, uh, we're
playin' for his people.

Roc, baby, honey.

I just picked up these
pamphlets from the hospital

on artificial insemination.

[Andrew] 'Well..'

the world sure has changed.

In my day, if your wife got
pregnant by another man

it usually ended in a shootout
in some cheap hotel room.

[Andrew] 'Oh, daddy.'

[chuckling]

Listen, baby, we got some
decisions we gotta make here.

Now, even though the
sperm donors are anonymous

the sperm bank catalogs
it according to the donor's

physical and personality traits.

Well, then that brings
us a good question.

How do we know this guy
isn't some kind of a psycho?

Or a republican.

Well, I guess the only way
to prevent that kinda thing

from happenin', is to go
to someone that we know.

Well, I don't
know. I don't know.

And by that I mean,
I don't think so.

Now, wait a minute, roc.

That's not a bad idea.

What if it were a
good friend of yours?

Like... one of the garbage
men that you used to work with.

Like... ernie.

With that rough, gravelly voice?

What if it's a girl?

Or how about reverend hill?

Well, now, I don't think
the good reverend provides

that kind of community service.

I know what I would like.

I would like for the donor

to be as much
like roc as possible.

Oh, I'd love for him
to have your strength..

Your gentleness, your sweetness.

Yeah, I hear you,
Eleanor, but unfortunately

there's only one of me.

That's true, but there is
someone else with your genes.

Your brother.

Oh, you mean,
abrother, not brother.

Joey is smart, he's
creative, and athletic.

He's got a lotta good talents.

And I'd feel a lot better
knowin' that my grandchild

was a true Emerson.

Wait a minute, but,
you know, aren't there

you know, laws against
this-this sorta thing?

I mean.. I mean, maybe if-if
we were in Utah, you know.

Well, now, wait. Now
think about it, roc.

If the baby has the
same genes as you

there's a better chance
that he'll be like you.

Mm-hmm.

Well... that's a good point.

That's a damn good
point, you know.

Alright. Then Joey it is.

I'll ask him tonight.

Oh, roc, that's wonderful.

This just calls
for a celebration.

Yeah, let's have a
toast. I'll get the wine.

[Laughing]

Damn.

Damn. Damn.

How did I get myself into this?

Well, I'll tell you
one thing, Eleanor

better not want a big family.

[Scatting]

[Male narrator] "Roc"
live will be right back.

♪ Keep on rockin'

[instrumental music]

Alright, uh..

Let's take that piece
again from the top, alright?

Um..

[Clears throat]

This is dedicated to Sheldon.

From your mother on this,
the day of your bar mitzvah.

A one, a two..

A one, two, three, four.

[Music continues]

What y'all you
all stop for, man?

We was kickin',
that was smokin'.

Man, we weren't
kickin' or smokin'.

We're dyin'. I can't play
"sunrise, sunset" anymore, Joey.

- It's bringing my head down.
- 'Alright, alright, alright.'

we'll play something
a little hipper, okay?

Um, Sheldon's mother
said he like rap music

so why don't we do a
arrangement of "fight the power."

Or-or "baby got back",
you know "baby got back?"

Hey, listen, let's stick
with "sunrise, sunset."

Alright, alright. You
know, besides, fellas

I mean, there's no shame
in playing a bar mitzvah.

I mean, dizzy Gillespie
once played at circumcision.

- Get outta here.
- Sure. Sure he did.

How you think he
got the name dizzy?

[Doorbell dings]

Hold that thought for a minute.

Hey, roc, what you doin' here?

- Hey, Joey, we gotta talk.
- Alright.

I didn't realize you
were rehearsing.

I didn't realize
we were playin'.

Hey, listen, kid. We don't
need to practice anymore.

- I mean we got this stuff down.
- Yeah, see you Saturday.

Okay, thanks for
comin' up, fellas.

Yeah, I'll see you
Saturday. Hey, hey.

Remember, man,
it's not what we play

or where play, what matters
is we play from the heart.

Or in your cases, the pacemaker.

So, uh, what's up, roc?

Uh, uh, sit-sit, sit down, Joey.

- What's up?
- Sit down, sit down, sit down.

Alright.

Uh, you know, Joey,
as you know, uh..

You know, Eleanor and
I have been, you know

trying to have a baby and..

You know, i-I've got
this, you know, you know..

A reproductive problem and uh..

So, uh, so Eleanor and I are
going for, you know, this, um..

Artificial, you know,
insemination thing, and uh..

Uh..

You know, and, um..

Well, so we need a
donor to, uh, you know..

Impregnate, you know, Eleanor..

And, um, so, you
know, we're-we're, uh..

We-we, you know, we wanna
find someone who's definitely

you know, not a psycho.

And, uh, so, you know,
Eleanor and I, we decided that

uh, you know, to ask
you if you, you know..

If you would, uh, you
know, let us, uh, you know

have some, you
know, of your sperm

you know, and all that.

Roc, that's nasty.

I-I don't want to know
what you think of it.

I-I just want to
know if you'll do it?

Alright, alright. Wait a minute
now. Just give me a minute.

'Cause this is,
this ain't somethin'

people ask you every day.

Oh, alright, alright,
alright, alright.

But-but-but if we do this..

You know, I'm the father
and you're the uncle.

Yeah, sure, I mean..

Hey, we might even have a
little musician on our hands.

Oh, no, no, no. This baby's
gonna go to college, you know.

He's gonna study
computer science, you know.

Invent a new
microchip or somethin'.

Yeah, you know, but for fun
he could still play the trumpet.

Uh, no, no, maybe for
fun he'll sculpt, yeah.

Yeah, okay, sculpt. That'll
get him all the women.

He'll get the women because
he'll treat them with respect.

- Like his father.
- Okay, roc. Whatever you say.

Whatever you say. Alright, Jack.

You can count me in, I'll do it.

This is pretty
exciting, huh, roc?

I'm having your baby.

Hey, daddy.

- So...
- You know, Eleanor.

I've been readin'
about the debate.

I'm disappointed in Clinton.

He went on and on about
human rights in China.

Maybe if we shipped
all the blacks to China

he'd mention us
in the next debate.

I heard that, daddy.

[Laughing]

Well, you know,
today is our big day.

So, are you goin' to be
coming with us to the hospital?

No, I don't think so, Eleanor.

Some things are
better left a mystery.

Birth, death, and how
George Bush can believe

the country is not
comin' apart at the seams.

I heard that one too.

[Knock on door]

- Oh, hi, vonte.
- How you doin', Mrs. Emerson?

Is the g-man in the house?

Oh, yeah. He's right
upstairs. I'll go get him.

So, how you doing, son?

I'm just chillin'. So
you like my new cap?

See, I know you was a
Malcolm X kinda man.

Yes, I am. But
Malcolm did not die

so the vultures of capitalism
could feed off his legacy.

Leaving the bones of his ideals
to decay into a fashion trend.

Well, I wasn't gonna
wear it all the time.

Besides, wearing these
clothes, it gets the message out.

That's the difference between
your generation and mine.

When we wanted to
get the message out

we went marching on
Montgomery, Alabama

not shoppin' at Montgomery ward.

Hey, Troy.

You got my money?

Well... i just wanna
know, do you think

that Mrs. E would
like a glow necklace?

See, I had some them
left over from the concert.

Oh, sure, she'd
probably like one.

Well, I was thinking
more like 90.

Uh, yeah, okay.

So you struck out selling
that crap at the concert, huh?

But if you think trying to get
out of payin' me back my money..

Uh-uh, it ain't work.
I'm gonna cut you off.

No more garbage for you.

If I were you, I wouldn't
threaten nobody else with that.

Roc, honey, baby. We gotta
get going to the hospital now.

Oh, yeah, you're doing that
artificial insemination thing.

- Well, good luck.
- Yeah, thanks.

Who in the hell told you that?

Oh, the word is on the street.

You mean, now everyone knows?

The whole neighborhood?

Oh, now every time
they'll see me, they'll say

"hey, there's roc, you know
he really isn't his kid's father."

Yeah, perfect, great!

That's the last time I'll
ever tell you anything.

[Elevator dings]

Hey, you folks. How you doin'?

Great day to get pregnant, huh?

- Hey, Joey.
- So, you all set?

Oh, yeah, I'm ready to roll.

Um, I was just
wonderin', is this..

Is this like when
you donate blood?

I mean, when you get finished
where they give you a cookie

or a cigarette?

Come on, Joey. Don't
joke about this, alright?

No, no. I'm
serious, I'm serious.

Now the creation of life is a
very sacred thing to me too.

So, it's hammer time.

First there's some
paperwork to take care of.

I need the father to sign here.

No, no, no. I mean
the biological father.

Oh, that's ironic,
I failed biology.

Also, sign here..

And here, and also here.

Oh, what is this? The
declaration of independence?

I mean, I'm gonna
be raising the child.

Isn't there somethin'
for me to sign?

Roc, honey, there really isn't.

Well-well, there oughta
be somethin' for me to sign.

Alright, here's an
organ donor card.

Now, you could donate
anything but your personality.

Come here, baby.
I know, forget her.

Listen..

Now, you okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just a little nervous.

- I know.
- Hello, everyone.

- Good to see you.
- Hi.

Let's get right to this. Joey..

Will you go see the
technician in room 407?

Eleanor, will you
come with me, please?

Sure.

Uh, roc, you're
welcome to observe

but most husbands prefer
to stay in the waiting room.

Yeah, yeah, right, okay.

You know, Eleanor, between
you and your brother-in-law

you're sure to have
a beautiful baby.

Uh, w-w-w-wait a
minute, e-Eleanor.

I need-i need to speak with you.

What is it, roc?
The doctor's waiting.

Eleanor, I-I can't
go through with this.

Look, if having Joey
do this upsets you

we'll can get someone else.

No, it isn't about
Joey, you know.

It'll be the same
with whoever we got.

You know, I just feel
like I'm on the outside.

And no matter how
hard I try, you know.

I'm always gonna be
thinking that this child

is yours and someone
else's, not ours.

But, roc, you're the one that's
gonna be raising our child.

How can I explain
this to you, baby?

You know, I have
to be the real father.

The only father, all the way.

I see.

Eleanor..

I tried, I-I really
tried, you know.

I know how bad you want this.

I tried to talk myself into it.

Now I know people
do it all the time

and I, and I envy them.

I wish I could be
like 'em but I'm not.

I just think, you know, i'm,
uh, I'm just selfish or somethin'.

- I don't know.
- Roc, no.

Maybe I'm the one
that's bein' selfish here.

I wanted to have
a baby so badly.

I didn't even
stop to think about

how this could be affectin' you.

Oh, no, sweetheart,
you've done nothin' wrong.

I feel the same way
you do, you know.

I want us to have a
child more than anything.

Well then, baby, maybe
we just had to keep trying.

Even though there's less than

a two percent chance
of me making it happen?

Even if there's less
than zero percent chance.

Baby or no baby, what's
most important, is us.

I love you, roc.

I love you, Eleanor.

Uh, okay.

Um..

[Elevator dings]

Uh, you can come and get it.

Oh, hey, uh-uh..

Cynthia, where did
roc and Eleanor go?

They went home. They
changed their minds

about that whole artificial
insemination thing.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait
a minute. Now you..

What, you're sayin' I'm
not gonna be a father?

I'll be damned.

Well, they've been gone for
over an hour. Where you been?

Um..

Uh..

See, um..

Well, uh..

I, uh..

You know, I finished and, uh..

I rolled over and fell asleep.

[Scatting]

[Theme music]

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