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1
00:00:02,404 --> 00:00:04,576
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,643 --> 00:00:07,816
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:11,489
♪ But where are those
good old‐fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,557 --> 00:00:14,495
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:18,103
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,169 --> 00:00:21,342
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,013
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:24,348
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:30,227
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,572
Welcome to tumbling class.
11
00:00:35,638 --> 00:00:36,707
Moms, please enjoy,
12
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:39,312
while dads grumble
about how much the class costs.
13
00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:42,217
240 bucks for a mat and a room.
14
00:00:42,284 --> 00:00:43,621
Now let's all gather 'round
15
00:00:43,688 --> 00:00:46,192
because Stewie is gonna do
a somersault.
16
00:00:47,027 --> 00:00:49,231
(grunting)
17
00:00:55,745 --> 00:00:57,749
(groans) Nailed it.
18
00:00:57,816 --> 00:01:00,053
Well, that's basically fine,
and I don't honestly care,
19
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:04,495
so unless there's an unexpected
appearance from a rival baby...
20
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:07,101
Perhaps I could take a shot.
21
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,269
‐(gasps)
‐It's Doug!
22
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:09,740
That's Stewie's rival.
23
00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:11,109
What are you doing here, Doug?
24
00:01:11,175 --> 00:01:13,179
Eh, thought I'd give
this tumbling thing a try.
25
00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:14,750
So what do I do,
just fall down
26
00:01:14,816 --> 00:01:17,187
like literally anyone affected
by gravity?
27
00:01:17,254 --> 00:01:19,158
Um, there's a bit more to it
than that.
28
00:01:19,225 --> 00:01:20,995
One can't just show up
and hope to execute,
29
00:01:21,062 --> 00:01:22,632
say, a perfect somers...
30
00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:25,705
Oh, oh, he's very good!
31
00:01:25,772 --> 00:01:27,307
(cheering)
32
00:01:27,374 --> 00:01:29,045
Hmm. Something like that?
33
00:01:29,111 --> 00:01:30,815
‐Wow!
‐Now that's tumbling!
34
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,486
Boys can be good at this till
nine, then the whispers start.
35
00:01:33,554 --> 00:01:35,390
Calm down,
it wasn't that great.
36
00:01:35,457 --> 00:01:37,796
Stewie, give Doug
your shirt and overalls.
37
00:01:37,862 --> 00:01:39,365
He's my son now.
38
00:01:42,004 --> 00:01:44,341
ANNOUNCER: We now return
to Christopher Nolan's Tenet.
39
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,712
I'm already completely lost.
40
00:01:45,778 --> 00:01:49,151
Dad, can I ask you
something about girls?
41
00:01:49,218 --> 00:01:50,420
Are you wearing a wire?
42
00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,391
There's a girl in my class
I have a crush on,
43
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:54,295
and I can't get her
to notice me.
44
00:01:54,361 --> 00:01:56,667
Ah, now I understand.
45
00:01:58,336 --> 00:02:00,207
Lucky for you,
there's a bunch of old movies
46
00:02:00,273 --> 00:02:01,677
on this very subject.
47
00:02:01,744 --> 00:02:03,379
Here. Sixteen Candles.
48
00:02:03,446 --> 00:02:05,450
Can't Buy Me Love,
Say Anything...
49
00:02:05,518 --> 00:02:08,223
all on very inconvenient VHS.
50
00:02:08,289 --> 00:02:11,095
VHS? What do those letters
stand for?
51
00:02:11,162 --> 00:02:13,399
That information has been lost
to history.
52
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,237
Anyway, Chris,
just watch these movies
53
00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:17,675
and do what
the 28‐year‐old teenagers do.
54
00:02:17,742 --> 00:02:18,944
I guess I could try.
55
00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:22,552
After all, they tried to
do Superman in Boston once.
56
00:02:22,619 --> 00:02:25,691
I've noticed that you're never
around when Superman's here.
57
00:02:25,758 --> 00:02:27,461
Are... are you Superman?
58
00:02:27,529 --> 00:02:29,165
What is ya,
wacked in the head?
59
00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:31,469
I'm Clahk.
Plain ol' Clahk.
60
00:02:31,537 --> 00:02:34,141
Okay, back to
our Boston newspaper job.
61
00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:36,179
‐(phone rings)
‐Spotlight.
62
00:02:36,245 --> 00:02:37,816
What?!
63
00:02:42,191 --> 00:02:44,061
(gasping, murmuring)
64
00:02:44,128 --> 00:02:45,397
Show‐and‐tell time.
65
00:02:45,463 --> 00:02:47,467
Finally a chance
to reclaim my honor
66
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,338
after that whole
tumbling fiasco.
67
00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:52,044
Next up for show‐and‐tell:
Stewie.
68
00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,446
Hello, everyone.
69
00:02:54,281 --> 00:02:55,718
This is a weird seashell
70
00:02:55,785 --> 00:02:57,922
that kind of looks
like female genitalia
71
00:02:57,989 --> 00:02:59,124
that my dad likes.
72
00:02:59,191 --> 00:03:00,628
Lois, where's my she shell?
73
00:03:00,695 --> 00:03:02,799
Oh, Stewie took it
to show‐and‐tell.
74
00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:05,103
Well, I hope no one puts it
to their ear.
75
00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:06,673
Incredible, right?
76
00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:10,280
(yawns)
77
00:03:11,082 --> 00:03:12,384
Thank you, Stewie.
78
00:03:12,451 --> 00:03:15,825
And, so you know, many
middle‐aged women have seashells
79
00:03:15,892 --> 00:03:17,227
in their powder rooms.
80
00:03:17,294 --> 00:03:19,733
Okay,
next up is Doug.
81
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,269
Hello, gang,
82
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,375
and have I got
some show‐and‐tell for you.
83
00:03:24,441 --> 00:03:26,980
This is a ticket stub
from a PG movie
84
00:03:27,047 --> 00:03:28,884
that I got to see
in the theater...
85
00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:30,186
alone.
86
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:31,556
KIDS:
Wow!
87
00:03:31,623 --> 00:03:34,228
Also, I've been on
a Disney cruise.
88
00:03:34,295 --> 00:03:36,399
Hey, who's this
in the picture with Moana?
89
00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:38,469
(chuckles):
Oh, me? Huh.
90
00:03:38,537 --> 00:03:41,475
‐KID: No way!
‐KID 2: Moana is famously agoraphobic.
91
00:03:41,543 --> 00:03:44,048
Yes, but she's managing it
day by day,
92
00:03:44,114 --> 00:03:45,417
thanks to CBD oil.
93
00:03:45,483 --> 00:03:47,354
This cruise was a big step
for her.
94
00:03:47,421 --> 00:03:48,691
Okay,
I think we can all agree that
95
00:03:48,757 --> 00:03:50,093
these are very lame
show‐and‐tell...
96
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,466
And finally, a piece of candy
from the London airport.
97
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:56,172
(gasps) Aw, a Lion Bar?
98
00:03:56,238 --> 00:03:58,711
I'm sorry, did I say
"a piece of candy"?
99
00:03:58,777 --> 00:04:01,917
More like British candy
for the whole class!
100
00:04:01,984 --> 00:04:04,556
Drumstick Squashies
and rose‐flavored wine gums
101
00:04:04,622 --> 00:04:06,459
‐for everyone!
‐(cheering)
102
00:04:06,526 --> 00:04:08,630
Hello, Show‐and‐Tell National
Championships
103
00:04:08,697 --> 00:04:12,337
in DeKalb, Illinois,
I have a nominee for you.
104
00:04:12,404 --> 00:04:14,943
Dammit. I'm sick of
being one‐upped by Doug.
105
00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:16,278
Hurts.
106
00:04:16,345 --> 00:04:18,851
It hurts worse than a trip
to the barber shop.
107
00:04:19,886 --> 00:04:22,424
(screaming)
108
00:04:22,491 --> 00:04:25,531
This is what babies think
happens at haircuts!
109
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,606
(knocking)
110
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,344
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Burbeck.
111
00:04:32,411 --> 00:04:33,781
Do you have a daughter
named Jennifer,
112
00:04:33,847 --> 00:04:36,686
who is currently smeared
across Highway 9?
113
00:04:36,753 --> 00:04:37,655
Joe, it's us.
114
00:04:37,722 --> 00:04:39,491
Oh, sorry.
That's my next stop.
115
00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:42,297
Peter, your son was lurking
outside a classmate's window
116
00:04:42,364 --> 00:04:44,836
with this boom box,
playing Peter Gabriel.
117
00:04:44,903 --> 00:04:47,074
He's being charged
with felony stalking.
118
00:04:47,140 --> 00:04:50,246
I also tried to use science
to make a sex slave
119
00:04:50,313 --> 00:04:52,050
from a magazine photo.
120
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:53,754
Oh, this is horrifying!
121
00:04:53,821 --> 00:04:56,025
‐Actually, it's the '80s.
‐What?
122
00:04:56,092 --> 00:04:58,564
Well, it appears that
someone has exposed your son
123
00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:03,039
to the very problematic
teen films of the 1980s.
124
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:05,310
Peter, tell me it wasn't you.
125
00:05:05,376 --> 00:05:06,947
Honestly, Lois, I have no idea.
126
00:05:07,013 --> 00:05:09,118
My brain can't even
think thoughts no more
127
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,355
‐'cause of the Internet.
‐Ugh, that's it.
128
00:05:11,422 --> 00:05:14,061
From now on,
you are an outside Peter.
129
00:05:14,128 --> 00:05:15,296
Go on! Get!
130
00:05:15,363 --> 00:05:16,867
(kissing noises) Outside!
131
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:17,969
(grunts)
132
00:05:20,774 --> 00:05:23,814
Go to your Peter house.
Go to your Peter house!
133
00:05:27,420 --> 00:05:29,626
(thunder crashes)
134
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:38,442
God, look at Doug over there,
135
00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,280
throwing a Frisbee
with the kindergarteners
136
00:05:40,346 --> 00:05:42,117
and a shorter‐than‐average
first‐grader.
137
00:05:42,184 --> 00:05:43,987
‐Thinks he's so cool.
‐Yup.
138
00:05:44,054 --> 00:05:46,593
There must be some way
I can finally one‐up that guy,
139
00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:48,697
and you're clearly looking
for cat turds right now.
140
00:05:48,764 --> 00:05:50,935
Yup. Y‐‐ Huh?
Wait, uh, wait.
141
00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:53,640
‐(sniffs) Aw, gum.
‐Help me out, man.
142
00:05:53,707 --> 00:05:55,945
I need something to win back
everyone's attention.
143
00:05:56,011 --> 00:05:57,314
Wait, I know!
144
00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:59,418
What if I flip my eyelids
inside out?
145
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,222
Show everyone what a freak I am.
146
00:06:01,288 --> 00:06:03,694
Huh? I could carve this out.
147
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,230
Right?
This could be my thing.
148
00:06:05,296 --> 00:06:06,600
I don't think so, Stewie.
149
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:09,438
All right, well what if I just,
like, do Doug's mom?
150
00:06:09,505 --> 00:06:11,710
Uh... Y‐‐ I‐I mean,
yeah, yeah, that‐‐
151
00:06:11,776 --> 00:06:13,479
I mean, that would...
that would pretty much do it.
152
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,784
Awesome! How do you dial a phone
or have sex?
153
00:06:15,851 --> 00:06:18,055
Or stand up
without using your hands?
154
00:06:20,894 --> 00:06:22,063
Let me tell you something,
Brian...
155
00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:24,134
(wind whistles)
156
00:06:29,946 --> 00:06:30,948
Oh, no!
157
00:06:31,983 --> 00:06:34,589
You said it,
relatively‐short‐first‐grader.
158
00:06:34,656 --> 00:06:36,526
That Frisbee is way up there.
159
00:06:36,593 --> 00:06:38,664
I'm too scared
to climb up that high.
160
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:40,968
Me, too,
average‐height‐kindergartener.
161
00:06:41,035 --> 00:06:43,306
That jungle gym dates back
to the 1930s,
162
00:06:43,372 --> 00:06:45,076
when the lives of children
were expendable.
163
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,515
Someone would have to be crazy
to climb up there.
164
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:48,884
STEWIE:
I'll do it.
165
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:49,886
What?
166
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:51,488
I'll climb up there
and get that Frisbee.
167
00:06:51,556 --> 00:06:53,660
Doug may be afraid,
but I'm not.
168
00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:55,898
Just give me a day
to get prepared and gear up,
169
00:06:55,964 --> 00:06:58,336
and at sunrise tomorrow,
I will climb up there
170
00:06:58,402 --> 00:06:59,772
and retrieve that Frisbee.
171
00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:01,676
Or we can ask Spider‐Man
to do it.
172
00:07:01,743 --> 00:07:03,947
He came to my birthday party.
I know him.
173
00:07:04,014 --> 00:07:06,151
That wasn't the real Spider‐Man.
That was your dad.
174
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:08,890
We could see his hernia popping
through the suit.
175
00:07:08,957 --> 00:07:10,026
Hey, Tyler!
176
00:07:10,093 --> 00:07:12,565
Heard Spider‐Man had a pretty
good time at your party.
177
00:07:19,044 --> 00:07:22,183
Don't mind me, Brian.
Just pushing the edge.
178
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:23,553
Hmm.
179
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:24,889
14 zippers, if you must know,
180
00:07:24,956 --> 00:07:26,659
but it's not about my pants,
Brian.
181
00:07:26,726 --> 00:07:28,597
It's about my fearlessness
and pants.
182
00:07:28,663 --> 00:07:29,999
Now, I need to plan out
183
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:32,036
every last inch
of my climb tomorrow.
184
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,542
If I do this right,
I'm gonna be remembered forever,
185
00:07:34,609 --> 00:07:36,813
like 9/11 was
for a few years.
186
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,048
You're just climbing
a jungle gym.
187
00:07:38,115 --> 00:07:40,621
‐It's not a big deal.
‐Not a big deal?
188
00:07:40,687 --> 00:07:42,490
I pull this off,
I go down in history!
189
00:07:42,558 --> 00:07:45,864
Like my ancestor: The Guy Who
Was Hanged Next to Nathan Hale.
190
00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:50,607
I regret that I have but
one life to give for my country.
191
00:07:50,674 --> 00:07:52,778
If you kill me,
I'm gonna immediately void.
192
00:07:52,845 --> 00:07:56,051
All over here.
All over here.
193
00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:59,124
You, historian,
write down both our things.
194
00:08:02,898 --> 00:08:05,704
Hey, Lois, how about we get
a little three‐way going?
195
00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:08,743
‐You, me and the seashell?
‐Oh, forget it, Peter.
196
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:10,614
After that whole thing
with the '80s movies,
197
00:08:10,681 --> 00:08:11,983
I'm very upset with you.
198
00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,287
Well, can you use that anger
in the sex?
199
00:08:14,354 --> 00:08:18,028
No, Peter, your '80s nostalgia
isn't funny anymore.
200
00:08:18,095 --> 00:08:21,168
It's tired and worn out,
and borderline dangerous.
201
00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:23,773
I mean, those old references
just don't play
202
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,679
‐the same in today's world.
‐What you talkin' 'bout, Lois?
203
00:08:26,746 --> 00:08:29,585
This! This is exactly
what I'm talking about!
204
00:08:29,652 --> 00:08:32,090
When are you gonna let
the '80s go?
205
00:08:32,156 --> 00:08:35,296
Never! The '80s will always be
the best decade.
206
00:08:35,363 --> 00:08:36,699
And I'm confident
207
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,537
that non‐whites and women
would agree with that.
208
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:40,774
Everyone else, too.
And I'm gonna prove it.
209
00:08:40,841 --> 00:08:43,613
Family! Come here
conveniently fast, please!
210
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:44,682
What is it, Peter?
211
00:08:44,749 --> 00:08:46,251
I have decided to prove
to you all
212
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,957
that the '80s are still
relevant and hilarious.
213
00:08:49,024 --> 00:08:52,130
‐But they're not.
‐And in keeping with the wonderful 1980s,
214
00:08:52,196 --> 00:08:54,802
I'm gonna go upstairs
and drill a hole in the wall
215
00:08:54,869 --> 00:08:56,271
to watch girls shower.
216
00:08:56,338 --> 00:08:59,077
Peter, in addition to
that being wildly problematic,
217
00:08:59,144 --> 00:09:01,616
you can't just drill a hole
in a structural wall.
218
00:09:01,683 --> 00:09:03,987
Do you even know
how to do that?
219
00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:07,661
Okay, that's one drywall bit,
one masonry bit,
220
00:09:07,728 --> 00:09:10,601
one spur point bit,
one tile bit,
221
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,938
one drill with
a hammer action setting,
222
00:09:13,005 --> 00:09:15,644
one wire detector,
one stud finder,
223
00:09:15,711 --> 00:09:17,080
and one grease pencil.
224
00:09:17,146 --> 00:09:19,652
Sounds like someone's drilling
a hole in the wall
225
00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:21,054
to watch girls shower.
226
00:09:21,121 --> 00:09:23,459
‐Oh, big time.
‐Did you pull a permit?
227
00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:24,662
City hall's next.
228
00:09:24,729 --> 00:09:26,766
BOTH:
Nice!
229
00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:37,487
♪ I'm all right ♪
230
00:09:37,554 --> 00:09:40,026
♪ Nobody worry about me. ♪
231
00:09:40,092 --> 00:09:42,230
(splattering)
232
00:09:43,232 --> 00:09:45,236
Oh, my God! What did you do?
233
00:09:45,302 --> 00:09:47,140
He was supposed to get away.
234
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:49,612
It was gonna be
harmless '80s fun.
235
00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:51,114
You killed the gopher!
236
00:09:51,181 --> 00:09:53,887
‐He's all right?
‐No! He's not all right!
237
00:09:53,953 --> 00:09:55,423
We're all gonna get laid?
238
00:09:55,489 --> 00:09:56,726
Dammit, Peter!
239
00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,532
Stop saying blandly upbeat
things from the movie!
240
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,234
This has to stop!
241
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,738
(sighs) You're right.
242
00:10:02,805 --> 00:10:04,909
Man, and I was so sure
that stuff from the '80s
243
00:10:04,975 --> 00:10:06,713
would still play the same today.
244
00:10:06,779 --> 00:10:08,482
I guess people are
only interested in that
245
00:10:08,550 --> 00:10:10,352
for 19 seasons.
246
00:10:10,419 --> 00:10:11,723
Hi, I'm Kenny Loggins,
247
00:10:11,789 --> 00:10:14,094
and I'm still very interested
in '80s references.
248
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,599
Every time Family Guy plays
one of my songs,
249
00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:18,870
I get a new hot tub
for my Colorado deck.
250
00:10:18,937 --> 00:10:21,642
♪ I'm all right ♪
251
00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:24,347
♪ Nobody worry about me. ♪
252
00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:29,324
All right, you guys ready
to watch some history be made
253
00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:30,627
by Stewie Griffin?
254
00:10:30,694 --> 00:10:32,463
DOUG:
And guest?
255
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:35,169
What the...?
11, 12, 13...
256
00:10:35,236 --> 00:10:37,875
15 zippers! You've got to be
(bleep) kidding me!
257
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,310
What do you say, Stewie?
258
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:41,949
A friendly race to the top
in front of all these kids,
259
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,688
plus the red‐haired girl
from the Charlie Brown cartoons?
260
00:10:44,755 --> 00:10:47,728
Aw. I care about her opinion
most of all!
261
00:10:47,795 --> 00:10:49,063
You don't care about me.
262
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:51,268
You just wanted to wear
my ballerina skirt.
263
00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:53,506
I especially love
her sense of humor
264
00:10:53,573 --> 00:10:55,109
and inventive storytelling.
265
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:58,516
Okay, you're on.
First to the Frisbee wins.
266
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,989
You realize, Doug,
we might die up there today.
267
00:11:02,056 --> 00:11:05,029
Then I'll see you in heck.
268
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,270
♪
269
00:11:13,111 --> 00:11:14,113
(grunts)
270
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,019
(grunts)
271
00:11:17,086 --> 00:11:20,492
Okay, toughest part of
the climb: Dried Booger Ridge.
272
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,764
(straining)
273
00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:27,808
♪
274
00:11:31,348 --> 00:11:33,285
(gasps) The Frisbee!
275
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:38,195
♪
276
00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:44,675
Yes! I win!
277
00:11:44,742 --> 00:11:48,115
♪ I'm going all the way ♪
278
00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:52,423
♪ Sooner or later
gotta love somebody. ♪
279
00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:54,962
Wha...?
280
00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:58,035
(grunting)
281
00:11:58,101 --> 00:12:00,840
Oh, no! Help! Help!
282
00:12:01,676 --> 00:12:03,546
Help me!
283
00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:05,784
What? We can't hear you!
284
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:09,892
Our voices are very faint
because we are so distant!
285
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:11,862
Distant from you, he means!
286
00:12:11,929 --> 00:12:13,700
We're not distant
from each other!
287
00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:15,937
We're standing relatively
close together!
288
00:12:16,004 --> 00:12:18,776
You probably were already
able to infer that,
289
00:12:18,843 --> 00:12:21,682
and Connor just wasted
everyone's time!
290
00:12:21,749 --> 00:12:23,352
My God. I...
291
00:12:23,418 --> 00:12:24,788
I'm stuck up here.
292
00:12:24,855 --> 00:12:27,059
Better use my emergency flare.
293
00:12:30,265 --> 00:12:32,604
We've got a flare.
294
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:36,344
I'm still stuck,
but now I have confidence.
295
00:12:42,356 --> 00:12:43,593
(straining)
296
00:12:43,659 --> 00:12:44,928
My foot is still stuck,
297
00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:46,431
and it's really starting
to hurt.
298
00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:48,803
And I know you're going to be
insufferable about this.
299
00:12:48,870 --> 00:12:50,139
Stewie, come on.
300
00:12:50,205 --> 00:12:52,076
Right now your safety is
what matters.
301
00:12:52,143 --> 00:12:54,414
And you've got an owie
in need of attention.
302
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,921
I'm gonna have to radio basecamp
for help on my Elmo phone.
303
00:12:58,856 --> 00:13:01,027
ELMO:
Elmo love you so much!
304
00:13:01,094 --> 00:13:02,864
Basecamp. Come in, basecamp.
305
00:13:02,931 --> 00:13:04,133
Elmo your friend.
306
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,436
Elmo, we've got a man down.
307
00:13:05,503 --> 00:13:07,239
I need you to connect me
with search and rescue.
308
00:13:07,306 --> 00:13:09,377
Please don't believe rumors
about Elmo.
309
00:13:09,444 --> 00:13:12,784
(distorted):
Just to be safe, Elmo play with you at least 500 yards
310
00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:15,557
‐from school or public park...
‐I'm having trouble hearing you, Elmo.
311
00:13:15,623 --> 00:13:16,826
‐(static noise)
‐Are you there?
312
00:13:16,892 --> 00:13:18,763
Elmo? Elmo?
313
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:21,167
Hello?
Dammit, I've lost basecamp.
314
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,040
Must be interference
from that big storm coming.
315
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,044
(thunder rumbling)
316
00:13:26,846 --> 00:13:28,883
Too dangerous
to risk going for help now.
317
00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:31,154
I think we're gonna have
to wait it out, Stewie.
318
00:13:31,221 --> 00:13:34,093
Just you and me,
and the homeless people
319
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,464
who live and copulate in
the playground among children.
320
00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:38,803
Yes, we as a society have
clearly just decided
321
00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:40,439
we're gonna roll with that.
322
00:13:44,548 --> 00:13:46,719
(Peter sniffs)
323
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,455
Peter, what are you doing?
324
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:50,359
Well, you know how you told me
to give up the '80s
325
00:13:50,425 --> 00:13:52,998
and find a whole different
decade to be into?
326
00:13:53,064 --> 00:13:55,737
‐No, that's not what I‐‐
‐Well, I'm doin' the 1920s!
327
00:13:55,803 --> 00:13:59,678
Not 'cause of legal cocaine but
mostly 'cause of legal cocaine.
328
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:01,682
(sniffs)
329
00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:05,122
Time to design a very stupid
flying contraption.
330
00:14:06,825 --> 00:14:09,063
‐(plane rattling)
‐Cocaine plane!
331
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:11,067
(thunder rumbling)
332
00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:17,547
Um, why is Dad dressed
like that now?
333
00:14:17,614 --> 00:14:22,724
Oh, Lord, Peter, did you switch
to the 1910s for silent movies?
334
00:14:22,791 --> 00:14:24,628
(old‐timey music plays)
335
00:14:24,695 --> 00:14:27,266
♪
336
00:14:33,445 --> 00:14:35,082
(groans) Enough of this!
337
00:14:35,148 --> 00:14:37,621
Oh, you are so damned
exhausting, Peter!
338
00:14:37,687 --> 00:14:40,325
Just 'cause you stop being crazy
about one decade
339
00:14:40,392 --> 00:14:42,564
doesn't mean you have to be
crazy about another!
340
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:45,937
How about you just be a normal
human being for once?!
341
00:14:46,004 --> 00:14:48,609
Huh? Just be a‐‐
be a husband to your wife!
342
00:14:48,676 --> 00:14:50,713
Be a father to your children!
343
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,182
You're right, Lois.
344
00:14:52,249 --> 00:14:53,886
No matter how hard I try,
345
00:14:53,953 --> 00:14:55,890
I'll never find a decade
as good as the '80s,
346
00:14:55,957 --> 00:14:57,259
like you just said just now.
347
00:14:57,326 --> 00:14:59,163
No, again,
that's not at all what I...
348
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:01,301
I need to be alone.
349
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,104
If anyone calls,
I'll be in the '70s
350
00:15:03,171 --> 00:15:05,743
doing the might‐as‐well‐be‐legal
cocaine.
351
00:15:06,612 --> 00:15:10,118
ANNOUNCER:
Cocaine: the winner of the war on drugs.
352
00:15:13,959 --> 00:15:16,030
Thank you for taking care of me,
Doug.
353
00:15:16,097 --> 00:15:18,736
Look, Stewie,
I want to apologize.
354
00:15:18,803 --> 00:15:20,272
You do? For what?
355
00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:23,178
For always showing you up
and just being a jerk.
356
00:15:23,244 --> 00:15:26,317
I think I'm just intimidated
by your brilliance.
357
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:29,156
Plus, it's so great
you've only got nine hairs.
358
00:15:29,223 --> 00:15:30,560
It probably takes you
three seconds
359
00:15:30,626 --> 00:15:31,528
to get ready in the morning.
360
00:15:31,595 --> 00:15:33,599
Me, I've got this whole
head of hair.
361
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,070
That's not quite as nice
as you meant for it to sound,
362
00:15:36,137 --> 00:15:38,408
but since we're confessing
our insecurities...
363
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:41,782
I'm not exactly the, um,
I don't know,
364
00:15:41,849 --> 00:15:44,220
"slick cucumber"
everyone thinks I am.
365
00:15:44,286 --> 00:15:46,257
‐"Slick cucumber"?
‐I mean, sure,
366
00:15:46,324 --> 00:15:48,596
maybe on the outside,
but I can only wish I had
367
00:15:48,662 --> 00:15:52,804
‐that slick cucumber
deep inside‐‐ ‐I'm getting lost, here, Stewie.
368
00:15:52,871 --> 00:15:54,206
Like,
sometimes I mention having
369
00:15:54,273 --> 00:15:56,210
a supermodel girlfriend
in Norway.
370
00:15:56,277 --> 00:15:58,682
Well I‐‐
I'm gonna be honest, um,
371
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,352
she's not a supermodel.
372
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:02,256
She's basically mid‐level,
at best.
373
00:16:02,322 --> 00:16:04,928
Like, she's kind of a pocket
client at some agencies,
374
00:16:04,995 --> 00:16:06,765
but it's so political
over there in Sweden.
375
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:08,636
Thought you said Norway.
376
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:10,807
Meanwhile, you're this cool kid
on the block.
377
00:16:10,873 --> 00:16:12,777
You're all confident.
You can snap.
378
00:16:12,844 --> 00:16:14,180
You mean this?
379
00:16:14,246 --> 00:16:16,585
Yeah, that's like
bloody witchcraft to me.
380
00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:18,421
Anyway, deep down, I...
381
00:16:18,488 --> 00:16:20,760
I‐I've always wanted
your approval.
382
00:16:20,827 --> 00:16:23,131
But now, tonight,
383
00:16:23,198 --> 00:16:26,370
you've given me something
much more valuable:
384
00:16:26,437 --> 00:16:27,774
your friendship.
385
00:16:28,809 --> 00:16:31,380
‐Here. You can have it.
‐What?
386
00:16:31,447 --> 00:16:33,017
I don't need the Frisbee
anymore.
387
00:16:33,084 --> 00:16:35,422
Take it, friend.
388
00:16:36,859 --> 00:16:39,063
♪
389
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,281
I won, everyone! I won!
390
00:16:48,348 --> 00:16:50,920
Other kids, Stewie lost,
391
00:16:50,987 --> 00:16:53,157
and he deserves our ridicule!
392
00:16:53,224 --> 00:16:54,528
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait!
393
00:16:54,594 --> 00:16:56,765
DOUG:
And there was a weird cucumber thing!
394
00:16:56,832 --> 00:16:58,134
That son of a bitch.
395
00:16:58,201 --> 00:17:01,708
Come back here!
(grunting)
396
00:17:04,581 --> 00:17:07,119
Oh, you can do it,
Stewie, for sure.
397
00:17:07,185 --> 00:17:11,227
Free your foot, and together
we will bump wieners.
398
00:17:11,294 --> 00:17:14,033
But it's stuck, Norwegian
Mid‐Level Model Girlfriend.
399
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:17,306
Oh, just untie your shoe,
is how.
400
00:17:17,372 --> 00:17:18,809
Oh! Duh!
401
00:17:20,445 --> 00:17:22,917
Stewie,
when will you free me
402
00:17:22,984 --> 00:17:24,788
from this thought bubble hell?
403
00:17:24,854 --> 00:17:26,057
Not for a while.
404
00:17:26,123 --> 00:17:28,461
I may need you
if I run for office.
405
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,737
(thunder rumbling)
406
00:17:33,939 --> 00:17:36,143
‐Stewie!
‐You were manipulating me.
407
00:17:36,210 --> 00:17:38,214
You were only being nice
to get the Frisbee!
408
00:17:38,281 --> 00:17:42,824
Sorry, Stewie, but all's fair
in love and jungle gyms.
409
00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:44,527
(grunting)
410
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:48,836
(thunder rumbling)
411
00:17:52,376 --> 00:17:53,679
Ha!
412
00:17:54,848 --> 00:17:56,852
‐Wh‐Wh‐Whoa! (screams)
‐Doug!
413
00:17:56,918 --> 00:17:59,289
(screaming)
414
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:03,599
Please hang on, Stewie!
415
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:04,834
I've got this, my friend.
416
00:18:04,901 --> 00:18:08,441
This is when that slick cucumber
deep inside of me comes out.
417
00:18:08,509 --> 00:18:11,715
‐Oh... okay.
‐(phone ringing)
418
00:18:11,782 --> 00:18:14,788
You're gonna hate me,
but I really need to take this.
419
00:18:14,854 --> 00:18:15,790
Don't you dare!
420
00:18:15,856 --> 00:18:16,925
But it might be Bruce Lee
421
00:18:16,992 --> 00:18:19,631
finally calling to admit
that I'm the best at kung fu!
422
00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:22,302
‐(line ringing)
‐This is your one chance, Stewie.
423
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:25,041
I will not call you
a second time.
424
00:18:25,108 --> 00:18:27,312
♪
425
00:18:31,521 --> 00:18:34,259
Who am I if I can't
reference the '80s?
426
00:18:34,326 --> 00:18:37,667
If I can't live in the past,
there's no future for me.
427
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:41,006
Boy, who knew
when you stop doing cocaine,
428
00:18:41,073 --> 00:18:43,344
‐you get depressed?
‐MAN: Peter.
429
00:18:45,783 --> 00:18:49,691
(gasps) The ghost of '80s
film director John Hughes?
430
00:18:49,758 --> 00:18:53,532
Yes, Peter. I've come
to tell you that Lois is right.
431
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:56,070
You need to let the '80s go.
432
00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:57,740
But... I don't understand.
433
00:18:57,807 --> 00:19:00,546
Listen, when we were making art
in the 1980s,
434
00:19:00,613 --> 00:19:03,317
we were just having fun
and trying new things.
435
00:19:03,384 --> 00:19:05,856
Stop recreating the '80s, Peter.
436
00:19:05,923 --> 00:19:06,958
They're gone.
437
00:19:07,025 --> 00:19:09,597
Get out there and make
your own '80s.
438
00:19:09,664 --> 00:19:11,066
Today.
439
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:13,639
♪
440
00:19:16,443 --> 00:19:19,349
After all,
life moves pretty fast.
441
00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:21,755
If you don't stop
and look around once in a while,
442
00:19:21,822 --> 00:19:24,393
‐you could miss it.
‐Ah! Like the movie!
443
00:19:24,459 --> 00:19:26,163
I have to go, Peter.
444
00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:28,267
‐Goodbye.
‐Wait! Wait!
445
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,504
You want to know
my favorite thing
446
00:19:29,571 --> 00:19:31,240
from any of your movies ever?
447
00:19:31,307 --> 00:19:33,645
‐Was it the giant pancake?
‐Yes, the giant pancake!
448
00:19:33,712 --> 00:19:35,916
In heaven,
are the pancakes big
449
00:19:35,983 --> 00:19:37,185
like they are
in Uncle Buck ?
450
00:19:37,252 --> 00:19:38,421
I wouldn't know, Peter.
451
00:19:38,487 --> 00:19:40,593
I'm currently frying in hell.
452
00:19:40,659 --> 00:19:43,899
What?!
But‐but you were pretty good.
453
00:19:43,966 --> 00:19:48,508
You have to be very good!
454
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,253
Doug, I can't hold on
much longer.
455
00:19:55,054 --> 00:19:56,257
(grunting)
456
00:19:56,323 --> 00:19:58,227
It's been an honor, friend.
457
00:19:58,294 --> 00:19:59,530
(both cry out)
458
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,337
Oh. W‐We weren't...
we weren't very high up there.
459
00:20:03,404 --> 00:20:05,643
No, I guess it just seemed
higher to us,
460
00:20:05,709 --> 00:20:08,214
because of perspective
and what‐have‐you.
461
00:20:08,281 --> 00:20:10,920
At any rate...
Hey, gang? Gang!
462
00:20:10,986 --> 00:20:11,988
Here's your Frisbee.
463
00:20:12,055 --> 00:20:14,661
Stewie and I got it...
464
00:20:14,727 --> 00:20:17,465
‐together.
‐Yes. Together.
465
00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:19,403
We're different kids
from before,
466
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,741
so that means nothing to us.
467
00:20:27,954 --> 00:20:30,759
‐We had quite the adventure.
‐Yes, we did.
468
00:20:30,826 --> 00:20:32,730
And at the end of it all,
I, uh...
469
00:20:32,797 --> 00:20:34,232
I hope we've come
to see each other
470
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,170
through slightly different eyes.
471
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:37,940
We certainly have.
472
00:20:38,007 --> 00:20:38,976
Hey, who knows?
473
00:20:39,042 --> 00:20:41,380
Maybe someday they'll make
a movie about us.
474
00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:45,756
ANNOUNCER:
This summer, don't miss Jungle Gym Mountain,
475
00:20:45,823 --> 00:20:48,027
starring Chris Pine as Doug...
476
00:20:48,094 --> 00:20:49,029
What?
477
00:20:49,096 --> 00:20:51,968
...and Paul Giamatti as Stewie.
478
00:20:52,035 --> 00:20:53,104
Come on!
479
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,375
Help.
I crapped my pants,
480
00:20:55,441 --> 00:20:58,047
‐and I'm afraid of heights.
‐I'm out of here.
481
00:20:58,114 --> 00:21:01,855
And Chris Hemsworth
as Thought Bubble Girlfriend.
482
00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:03,825
I'll give it a shot.
483
00:21:03,892 --> 00:21:05,896
♪
484
00:21:05,946 --> 00:21:10,496
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