Original subtitles

Whoo!

Little Victor Stone.

The last time I saw you, you were about this tall.

Sitting in the corner of Elinore's office,

playing quietly with your Superman doll.

You probably don't remember me. That was a lifetime ago.

Yeah, I worked with your mom at S.T.A.R. for years.

She was an incredible woman.

Why'd you leave?

Well, after 9/11, S.T.A.R. doubled down on weapons programs.

I wanted to heal people, not arm them. Hmm.

It's a shame how many of my clients were disfigured by S.T.A.R.-developed weapons.

So, what can I do for you, Vic?

I heard about synthetic skin,

and I wonder if that might be an option for me.

Well, that's definitely not what I expected you to say.

But may I? Of course.

I have to admit...

I was surprised when Silas chose the Cyborg tech for you,

instead of coming to me.

I mean, you were just such a happy kid.

My God, Silas really is a magician, isn't he?

I mean, an internal battery-powered mechanokinetic

pulse cannon. I...

What's the total output?

10,000 volts?

25. Whoa.

Yeah, I can liquify an armored truck in under three seconds.

Wow.

Well...

Okay.

Unsurprisingly, the physiological integration

of your tech is incredibly extensive.

To safely introduce a SynthSkin exodermis,

your Cyborg tech would have to be completely removed.

Even Grid?

Obviously, your artificial organs

and structural prosthetics would have to stay,

but anything that requires more energy than you get from a burrito? Gotta go.

What if I wanted to do it?

How soon could you...

Good news there.

Your biotech interfaces are almost entirely nanotechnological,

which makes extraction largely a matter of code.

So, this could be an overnight procedure.

But this isn't a decision you should take lightly.

Have you talked with your father about this?

My mom would want this for me.

That's the only thing I care about.

That's fair.

I just...

We urge all of our clients to talk this through with a loved one.

Believe me, this will be a lot easier with someone by your side.

My fucking records?

Which ones?

Uh, well, I sold them as a lot. So, all of them?

What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't understand.

They had a special edition Chipmunk Master keychain

you could get for just 15,000 acorns

and I was almost there

when I lost it all on a double-or-nothing Nut Jump against Mr. Fox

even though Ginger told me not to trust Mr. Fox!

Huh?

What?

There's something weird going on with you.

No, there isn't. There's something weird going on with you.

After you get my fucking records back, you're gonna--

Jane?

Oh, fuck. I got this.

I took a Heimlich course in '87.

Had to bone the instructor to pass but I remember the basics.

What the fuck?

Oh, you got the prize!

It's those Dada freaks.

What the fuck?

Holy shit on a shingle.

There is something weird going on.

Of course there's something going on,

you guileless golem. They are coming for us.

We must rally to defend the castle.

Cliff, seal the doors, the windows

and the motherfucking fireplaces.

Why are you even still here? We had a deal.

We did your little spy mission. Now, why don't you get the fuck out

and take your dumb quirks and your fucking stupid magic tricks with you.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have bigger problems--

You have bigger problems. Not us.

I assure you that this is everyone's problem.

Look, Curly. When something wants to get us,

it usually finds a way to get us.

No use trying to stop it.

Now you, get your laptop.

We're getting my records back, you fuck.

What's the big deal?

They weren't even worth that much.

We've got to seal these windows.

Now, your Cher workout tapes, on the other hand...

My what?

Um... Oh, no, you didn't.

You sold my Cher workout tapes?

Let me explain.

Um...

What? No.

Wait, no, no, I'm still not-- Flit!

Shit, shit.

Dad, what are you doing here? Uh...

Hey, here I am. Surprise extended Grandpa visit.

Whoo-hoo! Hey.

Did you get help with your-- Oh, the Parkie?

Yeah, that's all taken care of.

Got some pills. And let me tell you, those babies work like gangbusters.

See?

Steady as a rock.

Good.

I... I've been eyeing the Bureau

since my cousin Paige came on here.

He's... he's a meta, too.

Worked in comms until the Big One.

Did you know him?

Anyway, Paige didn't make it back fully intact.

So, I figured I'd wait for the war to be good and over.

The war is never over.

So tell me, who are you?

Who am I? I'm, uh...

I'm... I'm Wally Sage, ma'am. I just told you--

What are you?

Ah, I see. A test.

Very sneaky, ma'am.

Uh... What am I, huh?

Um...

Well, I guess, probably... I don't know what you'd call it.

Probably easier if I just show you.

Hmm.

Fascinating.

Can you apply this ability to, say... artillery?

Uh, sure, I guess. But...

I came in to see about the marketing position.

Well, you will be very useful.

Weapon.

Thank you.

Laura...

he was just a boy.

Wars don't fight themselves.

Is that all you have to say? You used to look out for kids like him.

Well, it's not the same carefree world it was then, is it?

We must make difficult choices in order to keep our country safe.

We're meeting at the Salon tonight to workshop a new piece.

We'd all love to see you.

"We all"? Yes.

Holly, Malcolm, everyone.

We miss you.

Don't you miss making art

and expressing yourself? You used to say that it was your calling.

Well, I have a higher calling now.

Yeah, I recall you landing here with a calling.

Something about a time machine.

But you gave up on all that when you found safety in your little...

coterie, didn't you?

Laura...

it's your coterie, too.

I swear, if the Bureau could, they'd make us forget that we all had lives before--

Yes, well, don't worry.

I'll never forget.

Now send in the next recruit, would you, on your way out?

Mm, let me guess. She said no.

You surprised?

I'm a little worried about her, if I'm being honest.

Lately, she's just seems so-- Sour? Hmm.

She's been sour for 15 years. It's her job.

That sort of work just has to weigh on a person's soul.

Yeah, if she still has one. Malcolm.

She saved all of our souls once upon a time.

Maybe it's our turn to save hers.

Hmm.

Maybe you're right.

Larry?

Larry? God.

It is 11:00 in the morning

and you're loafing about on the floor.

My expectations with you people truly could not be any lower at this point.

But we are about to be confronted by an inconceivably dangerous threat.

And I need all the help I can get.

Uh, fine. Fine. Could you just... Can you give me a minute?

God.

Um... what on earth is that?

It's just... Well, it started as a tumor, but then it, uh...

That came out of you? Yes.

Out of your-- Out of my mouth, okay?

Yes. It's definitely alive.

Wow. A sentient tumor. Fascinating.

Have you recently been exposed to any abnormal atmospheres?

My entire life is an abnormal atmosphere.

Do you mean the Afterlife? The Negative Nebula?

I went to Costco for the first time a few weeks ago.

Was that it? No, the second one.

This Nebula. I think that's your answer right there.

I mean, you're probably dealing with some kind of space parasite.

Really?

How can you be sure?

Well, what else could it be, you bampot?

Okay. Okay. Well, what should I do?

Oh, well, let's use our brains here.

When one expels a living,

16-pound parasite from one's body,

there is really only one reasonable response.

Give it a name? Jesus Christ almighty, no.

No, burn... Burn it. Burn it.

And meet me in the great room when you've dealt with it.

Jesus Christ! You burn it.

You don't give it a fucking name.

What's wrong, Kay?

Driller Bill says you've been crying all day.

Someone...

Someone stole my bike.

It was right outside my door when I went to bed and when I woke up,

it was gone.

Okay, well,

maybe somebody just borrowed it. Did you ask--

They stole it!

Stop treating me like I'm a stupid baby.

Okay.

Well, we'll just go up top and get you a new bike.

And this time we'll actually pay for it.

No, I don't wanna go up. I never wanna go up again.

I don't know if it's your ice-cold touch

or the hum of your nutrient tank,

but he is never as relaxed as when he's with you.

That's my grandpa powers at work.

You remind me more and more of Grandpa RJ, you know that?

You know what? You guys deserve a real break.

Why don't I watch Rory so you can go out? Date night.

Out? I don't even know what that means anymore.

Thanks, but we're good.

You know, that sounds nice actually.

Are you serious?

Yeah. We'll just walk down to Scooter Dog's, grab an ice cream bar.

We'll be gone 20 minutes. 30, tops.

You won't regret this. I'm gonna have the whole place cleaned up and--

Here. Just in case, for emergencies. Uh...

Okay, cool.

I guess that's that.

Next time you go to space, don't forget to wear a spacesuit, Larry.

Oh.

Damn it.

Damn, damn, damn.

Hey. Hey, you all right in there?

I couldn't just leave you out here without giving you a fighting chance.

I went back and made you a...

I don't know what space parasites eat,

but I figure everybody likes a PB&J.

Here you go.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Here. It's supposed to get pretty chilly tonight.

Hey, look, there's nothing to be afraid of.

I don't think.

Look, I don't know what you want,

but you're better off without me. Just trust me on that.

Huh.

That can't be good.

I... S... S...

M... E...

"Miss..."

"Miss me"?

How the hell did you find me?

The super computer in my head helped a little.

And what do you

and the super computer in your head want?

I just wanted you to know, you were right.

About what? About me.

Look, everything's always been so laid out for me.

I didn't even know what was missing.

But I do now.

It's like, how can I help people when there's this barrier between us?

When they can't even relate to me as a human being?

You're rambling, Vic.

What you trying to do? Keep me on the line long enough

for your S.T.A.R. buddies to come scoop me up?

No, no, you won't have to worry about that anymore.

What's going on, Vic?

I think I might have it taken out.

My tech.

All of it. What?

Look, I just wanted you to know because you were the one who--

What are you talking about?

What...

What happened to wanting to be a hero?

But my tech doesn't make me a hero.

Having an energy cannon fused to my nervous system--

That's not what I meant. We have our preferred methods,

but at the end of the day, we want the same thing.

Change.

Now, I'm blasting through the back door demanding it

while you're walking into the lobby with a big, dumb smile on your face,

talking about...

"Hi, I'm Cyborg. Nice to meet ya."

But sometimes change comes from the inside.

You taught me that. I'm not giving up the fight.

I'll just have to find another way.

You already have a way, Vic.

You can sign all the online petitions that you want,

but when there is a guy with an arm cannon at the table,

you're going to want to listen to what he has to say.

Wait. How is that any different than a cop

demanding obedience down the barrel of a gun?

Because we don't want obedience.

All we want is justice.

I didn't ask for this, Roni.

None of us asked for what we got.

Only thing that matters is what we do once we got it.

But Cyborg isn't me.

I'm not happy like this.

Yeah, well, not all of us can afford to prioritize our happiness.

The fact is, you're a more effective agent of change as Cyborg than you are as Vic.

So what do you want?

Change?

Or do you want to happiness?

But you taught me to trust myself,

and that's exactly what I'm doing.

I thought you'd be happy for me.

Roni?

You there? Vic.

I'm losing you.

It's not safe to talk anyway.

Just...

Do what you gotta do.

And maybe I'll see you on the other side.

All good. All good. Everything's fine.

We have multiple reports of an unprecedented fog

spreading over the Eastern Seaboard.

In my 23 years on the weather map,

I've never seen anything like this--

Nope! No negativity today! This is what I'm talking about.

Grandpa and Rory just hanging out,

making memories that'll last a lifetime.

Grandpa is not thinking about anything at all.

Not about Ginger, not about Chipmunks.

Don't worry, buddy.

Nothing your old g-pa can't handle.

Oh, fuck!

Didn't think that through.

Hey. We're back.

Oh, thank God... I mean, oh, hey, back so soon?

Cliff, the burner is on high.

Oh, uh, I would have caught that.

Well, you did catch it. So it's all good.

It's fine. At least you didn't burn the house down.

See that? We're building trust.

Yeah, I'm gonna put Rory down for a nap.

Hey, did you hear

about this weird fog thing rolling in?

Is that something we should be concerned about?

Oh, that? Don't even worry about it.

Big Papa Cliff will keep his family safe.

Good.

I don't want you running off already.

You just got here.

Yeah.

I'm gonna destroy whatever thieving fuck took it.

I'm talking murder.

Who took the fucking bike, Doc?

Whoever took it, I hope they threw it in the well.

I'm gonna fuck you up.

They will have done us all a favor.

In case you haven't noticed, Kay is staying put,

right where she belongs.

Because she's fucking depressed,

not because she wants to.

I hate to point the finger, Jane,

but you've opened this can of worms

by allowing her to go up in the first place.

She was fine.

She was lucky. And if the girl's going to be hurt,

it's better it be on our terms than on theirs.

Don't you agree?

We were created for one thing, it was to protect the girl.

If we can't even do that, then maybe--

Who's protecting us, Jane?

Annihilation is hot on my trail,

but God forbid any of them

should lift a finger to try and help me.

Why should I lure it away from this temple of torpor?

Because I am a good person, that is why!

Tiptoe harem, purple and low.

Fuck!

Show yourselves!

Burning the midnight oil?

You know, if we had any sense, we would be out celebrating.

I heard we set a new recruitment record this week.

I set a recruitment record.

Twelfth week in a row, actually.

Not bad, De Mille.

If numbers were the only thing that mattered,

you'd be running this joint by now.

Pace yourself, Willy.

Making enemies around here won't advance you. Trust me.

Wait.

You don't think you have what it takes

to be a leader in this organization, do you?

Listen to me, you little hyena.

I have been a loyal and industrious part

of the Bureau for 35 years and I--

What about your little pals?

My little pals?

In the mailroom. The stretchy one,

the living cyclone, the invisible one.

All very powerful or so I hear.

And yet, every time

the reclassification window comes around,

you decide to keep them hidden in the basement.

Yes, well, they're not--

We are in the midst of a meta-human arms race.

And it seems to me that you are more worried

about protecting your friends

than you are about protecting what is actually at risk.

The moral core of our great nation.

I do my job well

and I do it with acute moral integrity.

And the meta-humans in question are simply unsuited for war.

They're pacifists.

And what does that make you?

Those freaks are merely an untapped resource.

And depending on who you ask...

so are you.

My advice?

"Friend" is merely a nice word for "opportunity."

And don't think for a second

that the big eye in the sky isn't watching you.

If we could have your attention.

Malcolm and I have been working on something at home.

We're not sure where we're going with it,

but perhaps it will help ignite some creative juices, mm?

Oh, I see. You have his face

and he has yours because you're in love.

-Please kill me now.

Introducing Skittish Apparition,

and The Shapeless Shape.

Plastic!

Tundra!

Gullible pickling carousel!

Ah...

What the hell was that, softshoe?

Ah! Well...

The newest thing on Broadway.

Our thinking was that a playful subversion

of cultural trends could prove a fertile canvas

in which to examine human frivolity.

Mm-hmm.

We're The Sisterhood of Dada.

We're artists.

Oh, that's a little harsh.

Here we go.

And every year we vote against it.

Because it's too dangerous.

To make the world a better place.

Since our inception, there's been plague,

depression, Holocaust.

Just five years ago, a world away,

our bombs vaporized

entire populations where they stood.

And right here, in our backyard,

my own people have been subjected to horrors...

you can't even...

I can't even, man. You know?

How are we doing?

We... Making the world a better place.

We stood by and watched

the Bureau lurch from oddities to normalcy,

guided by the very same ideologies we claim to oppose.

We just kept our heads down.

For what?

A paycheck?

There's a word for what we are. All of us.

Complicit.

Well, if that's not motivation to make a big statement,

I don't know what is.

As Nietzsche once said, "it takes chaos inside of us

to give birth to the dancing star."

Hmm?

The Eternal Flagellation would certainly be a big

middle finger to the Bureau, wouldn't it?

But what about Laura?

She'll never go along with it, and we'll be forcing her

to choose between us and the Bureau.

All right. You should start to feel a little lightheaded.

That's normal.

Was that there before?

Hey.

So...

I found out what happened to your bike.

Turns out somebody just wanted to borrow it and they lost it.

It was all a big mistake.

Nothing to be upset about.

We both know that's bullshit.

Kay?

You should have seen me, Ginger.

Big Papa Cliff was Mr. Momming the shit out of that kid.

Well, Big Papa, you paid for 15 minutes.

You wanna talk about parenting, or you wanna see my hoo-hah?

Well... maybe just a little--

Ow! Hey!

Vic! Oh, my God! Are you okay?

Fuck me!

Oh, my God, Cliffie, is it the meds again?

Do you want me to call somebody?

No, don't call anybody. It just needs to run its...

course!

Um...

What the fuck?

Whoa!

Where the fuck are we?

Welcome to, apparently,

my drug-filled fantasy sequence or some shit.

Oh, my fucking God!

I'm actually here with you metal-poisoned morons.

And I was in the middle of something.

Can't let any more in.

Can't let the fog in.

Hey, what's up with the foghorn?

How did you get inside?

What? I don't know. The front door.

Did you seal it?

What? Why? Why?

It's just a little--

Fuck!

Laura, you came.

I'll be damned!

Laura!

Guess what! We're doing it, Laura.

We're finally doing the Eternal Flagellation!

Yes!

Oh...

Um, can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?

I know this place.

Is this Dada? Are we doing Dada?

Laura... I'll be damned.

How do I know this place?

They're pacifists.

We're finally doing the Eternal Flagellation.

I wanted you all to know how proud I am of you.

No matter how tough things got, you stuck by each other.

No matter how far I drifted away from you,

you kept me tethered.

I'll never forget that.

Don't apologize. Dance.

This is really dumb but we actually look pretty cool.

Is this what you were so scared of, De Mille?

I've been to scarier dance parties at church lock-ins.

God, that sounds scary as fuck.

No, no.

No.

No! No, there's no need for force. They won't fight back.

They won't fight back.

They're pacifists.

Please...

Please!

How'd you do this?

Put them on their knees.

Ow!

What the-- God.

Well done, De Mille.

I've been looking forward to this for years.

I'd like to personally welcome you

to the Bureau's Meta Weapons Division.

Finally promoted out of the mail room.

You should be proud.

Go to hell.

We will never fight for you.

You're up, De Mille.

Weapon.

Weapon.

Wait a fucking minute.

Is this about you?

Weapon.

Is this like a flashback?

Weapon.

How could you do this to us?

We were a family.

Your...

Your country needs you.

So... on your knees, Bendy.

On your knees, Bendy.

On your knees!

Laura, stop this.

Malcolm!

Laura!

Rita?

She's ready.

What the fuck!

What's going on now?

Uh, I think we're about to find out.

What the hell is that?

Laura, you remember Malcolm?

You killed him. Now you must set him free.

I didn't kill anyone. Everything I did, I had a damn good reason to do.

You told me the Sisterhood of Dada was evil.

But the evil one was you. No!

No, I am not evil.

It's true, Laura. You did this and we suffered for 70 years.

Did unspeakable things in service of a cause

we abhorred because of you.

You are wrong.

The whole world was crumbling around us,

and all I cared about was you.

But I made an oath to the Bureau and I--

We are offering you a chance to atone. Take it!

I atoned that day...

by making useful agents of you.

Malcolm!

Bendy, wait! It has to be Laura.

Laura!

Was that it? Was that the Eternal Flatulation?

I don't get it.

I think it's flagellation.

That's what I said.

That... sounds bad. Is it bad?

Only if you are.

It's for the best.

So wait.

The dancing wasn't the thing?

Fuck!

Are we just gonna let them get away with this?

What the...

Uh...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Holy shit!

Did you see that?

So wait, is this the Eternal Flatulation?

What the fuck!

To be honest, I'm still high as--

Oh, God.

♪ Sweet Sweet city woman ♪

♪ Oh, she's my Sweet, sweet, sweet Sweet city woman ♪

♪ Sweet Sweet city woman ♪

♪ Oh, my Sweet, sweet, sweet Sweet city woman ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Sweet, sweet, sweet Sweet city woman ♪