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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:03,960 ADULT ADAM: Growing up, I hated sports. 2 00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,136 And it wasn't just that I was unathletic and uncoordinated, but... 3 00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,399 Yeah, okay, that was most of it. 4 00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:10,401 Why are the halls bustling? 5 00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:12,969 Everyone's pumped for Friday's big game against Germantown. 6 00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,319 It's the one day the jocks high-five me instead of low-two me. 7 00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,756 What's a low-two?Ah, nice try! 8 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,932 That court document is sealed. 9 00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:22,326 I'm gonna face-paint a football on one cheek and a helmet on the other. 10 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,675 Or more likely, just wear something blue. 11 00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,329 Is this about barbaric football? 12 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:26,504 Adam, this is a big deal. 13 00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,158 It's the seniors' last game 14 00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:29,116 and a memory that they'll share forever. 15 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,943 Good luck having any memories 16 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:33,076 with so many traumatic head injuries! 17 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,773 [BELL RINGS]CORBETT: Excuse me? 18 00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:37,776 There they are, my cognitively awesome bros. 19 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,343 We're too pumped up to even hear 20 00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:40,344 your high-pitched voice right now! 21 00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,216 Germantown's going down! 22 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:43,478 Quaker football for life! 23 00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:44,435 Chest bump! 24 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,872 ALL: Wha! 25 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,439 Uh, hello? 26 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,920 Our chests are waiting to be bumped. 27 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,835 Thank you, no. But I will give you an actor's bow. 28 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,316 And it's happening! 29 00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,361 Mr. Goldberg, off the floor. 30 00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,320 This is a school, not a street corner. 31 00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,148 Break-dance on your own time. 32 00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:02,540 Principal Ball, you're all riled up 33 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:03,802 about this dumb game, too? 34 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,717 Hell to the yes! 35 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,806 This is the one day of the year 36 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,852 we put our Quaker values aside 37 00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,115 and hope that Germantown's quarterback tears his ACL. 38 00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:13,725 This is been a healthy give and take. 39 00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:17,251 No, no, no, no, no. I need you to film the game. 40 00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:21,081 Yeah, our AV teacher is going to a wedding in Ann Arbor this weekend, 41 00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,344 leaving Friday and taking the whole day off. 42 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:24,954 Sometimes you need a travel day. 43 00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:26,869 Don't take his side. He's not even a groomsman. 44 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:28,653 Sports aren't really my thing. 45 00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:32,701 You know, that nice admissions lady from NYU 46 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:36,444 would just hate to hear that one of their wait-listed students passed up a chance 47 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,142 to be of service because it wasn't his "thing." 48 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,231 Since when do you play hardball, Ball? 49 00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:43,929 Since we haven't beat Germantown since 1924! 50 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,758 And, yeah, back then, the game was called "Who's Got the Peanut?" 51 00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,412 and women weren't allowed in the stands, 52 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,588 but this is our year! 53 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,242 Fine, I'll film the thing. 54 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,592 Attaboy! Germantown is going down! 55 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,159 Hey, chest bump! 56 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,204 Not again! Whoa! 57 00:01:58,379 --> 00:01:59,815 ♪♪ I'm twisted up inside 58 00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,686 ♪♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say 59 00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,127 ♪♪ I don't know the future 60 00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:10,217 ♪♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪♪ 61 00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:13,133 ADULT ADAM: It was October 13th, 1980-something. 62 00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,439 With Erica engaged and living with Geoff, 63 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,615 it was time to clean out her childhood bedroom. 64 00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,313 Keep. Ugh, big toss. 65 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,141 [GASPS] Bup-bup. 66 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,707 Strawberry Shortcake, Erica? 67 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,361 For shame. 68 00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:26,407 You've been sniffing her since you were six. 69 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,191 [INHALES DEEPLY] Mmm. 70 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:29,627 Fruit baby. 71 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,760 Never mind, I'll just put her on my keep pile. 72 00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,805 You realize putting everything from my trash pile 73 00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,459 into your keep pile makes all this pointless? 74 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,331 I got a system, 75 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,463 which is not to let my baby flush her precious memories 76 00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,769 down the toilet. 77 00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,988 Mom, it's obvious you're really upset 78 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,512 because your most attractive child 79 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,688 will never live under your roof again. Ever. 80 00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:48,646 You'll be back, because I still have 81 00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,431 the one thing you need most. 82 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,389 Money?B.L.C. 83 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:53,956 Bever-Loving-Care. 84 00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:56,132 You may want to try money. 85 00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:57,612 [DOORBELL RINGS] 86 00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:00,571 Jane Bales. [CHUCKLES] 87 00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,138 I didn't say your name three times 88 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:02,965 while looking in a mirror. 89 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,662 Beverly. 90 00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,664 I see you still haven't updated your decor... 91 00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,710 Or face. 92 00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,320 Is there something you needed, 93 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,975 or do goblins just trick-or-treat year-round? 94 00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:15,586 As you know, I have a thriving real estate empire, 95 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,546 hence the gold jacket, which exudes opulence and success. 96 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,504 And doesn't at all make you look like 97 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,376 a valet from Atlantic City. 98 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,508 [CHUCKLES] I'm not letting you sell my home. 99 00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:26,249 This moldy box of off-brand furniture? 100 00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:28,077 Oh, God, no. 101 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,600 I'm the agent for the house next door, 102 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:30,993 and I need you to mow your lawn. 103 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:31,863 Our lawn is fine. 104 00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:33,387 Fine? 105 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:34,779 I keep thinking Shoeless Joe Jackson's 106 00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,303 going to come out of it and play baseball. 107 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,000 Wait, Arnie Wofsy's moving? 108 00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:39,175 To Palm Springs. 109 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,133 Well, Palm Desert. 110 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,092 People say it's the same, but it is not. 111 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,702 So there's an open house? 112 00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:46,443 Yes, but steer clear. 113 00:03:46,617 --> 00:03:48,228 I don't want any potential buyers 114 00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,186 to meet the riffraff they share a fence with. 115 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,796 You get it. You've seen you. 116 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:52,797 Ta. 117 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,672 Murray, Wofsy's moving. 118 00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:58,934 What the hell's a Wofsy? 119 00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:00,762 You know Arnie Wofsy. 120 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,764 He's lived next door to us for 20 years. 121 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:05,332 That guy's a putz. He's got my rake. 122 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:08,117 Well, you can ask for it back at the open house. 123 00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:11,773 It's the last shot I have to quietly judge the inside before someone moves in. 124 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,514 You mean I gotta get up and walk all the way next door? 125 00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:15,124 And put on shoes. 126 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:18,170 Oh, it just keeps getting worse. [GRUMBLES] 127 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:21,086 ADULT ADAM: And so, my mom dragged my dad to the open house next door. 128 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,351 Oh, my God. Can you believe this place? 129 00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:27,397 They even have a drawer just for batteries. 130 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:31,358 They got the AAs, the Ds, and even the square ones. 131 00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:34,622 This brochures says there's a pool, a sauna, and a chef's kitchen. 132 00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,145 Can you imagine what I would do 133 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,494 with meats and cheeses in here? 134 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,017 I already have. 135 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,933 And they got a TV in the half-bath off the den. 136 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,239 Well, if you like that little fella, 137 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:44,545 you should check out the media room. 138 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,198 Media room? 139 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,766 It is a space dedicated to television. 140 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,420 [CHOIR SINGING] 141 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:51,856 Complete with sumptuous leather chairs, 142 00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:55,207 a full-size fridge, and stadium seating 143 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,427 so that no one can ever block your view. 144 00:04:57,601 --> 00:05:00,125 It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 145 00:05:01,562 --> 00:05:02,606 I know. 146 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,956 I had no idea all this was here. 147 00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,958 Why weren't we friendly with the Wofsys? 148 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,612 Friendly? Who wants to be friendly with their neighbors? 149 00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,440 Hello, Goldbergs. 150 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:13,617 Ah, it's the guy from, uh, the thing that I know. 151 00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:15,837 I'm your child's guidance counselor, 152 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,621 John Glascott. [CHUCKLES] You know me. 153 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:18,840 If you say so. 154 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,581 Are you in the market for a new home? 155 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:23,888 Oh, I wish. I'm your classic lookie-loo. 156 00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:26,282 I'm currently living above a Bengali restaurant. 157 00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,632 The intense spices permeate my bedroom, 158 00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:31,069 causing a rare condition called "curry eye." 159 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,289 Ugh. Now I know things about you. 160 00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:34,638 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 161 00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:35,813 Never have before. 162 00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,119 I want to live here. 163 00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:39,077 What?This house is incredible. 164 00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:40,731 The kids are moving out, but if we live here, 165 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,080 they'll want to move back in. 166 00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:43,952 That doesn't seem like the right reason, 167 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,649 but I do love the media room. 168 00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:46,824 Love is real! 169 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,086 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] 170 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,001 Murray.Wofsy. 171 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,176 Quite a house you have here. 172 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,483 And?We want to buy it. 173 00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,355 Way under asking and with multiple contingencies. 174 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:56,399 Thank you for accepting. 175 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,880 Not a chance in hell. 176 00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:00,490 We can negotiate the price. 177 00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:01,839 I would never sell to the likes of you. 178 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,275 What is happening? 179 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,843 I'll show you to the lovely, solid mahogany door, 180 00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:07,845 which is a real showpiece for the entryway, 181 00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,586 or in your case, the exit way. 182 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:10,805 It's an open house. 183 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,720 It's a closed house. 184 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,765 Dang it! This is my air-conditioning time. 185 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,854 But why? We haven't spoken to you in years. 186 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:17,986 Ask your husband. 187 00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,468 Come to think of it, 188 00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,079 it might have been me that took his rake. 189 00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:25,515 You better fix it. 190 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,125 I want this house, Murray. 191 00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:28,431 Oh, my. 192 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,259 I came for the fresh-baked cookies, 193 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,870 but I'm leaving with fresh-baked drama. 194 00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:34,785 [LAUGHS] And a cookie. 195 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,308 ADULT ADAM: As my mom's dream was crushed, 196 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,659 I was ready to crush my video assignment. 197 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:41,966 Go, physically gifted people who live in my area! 198 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,925 You sure you're going to be able to follow all the action? 199 00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:47,363 Uh, I've seen Wildcats with Goldie Hawn, so maybe. 200 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,017 You make everything less fun. 201 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,279 We're gonna go find a seat. 202 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:51,454 What's wrong with up here? 203 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,151 Sorry, babe. The top row of the bleachers 204 00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:54,370 is for weirdos and oddballs. 205 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,372 And superfans!No, Barry! 206 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:57,721 You graduated three years ago. 207 00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,941 This is the alumni section... 208 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,812 Former students and honored graduates 209 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:02,987 who've gone on to make something of themselves 210 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:04,467 and like to give back. 211 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:05,686 Give back? 212 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,427 What could you possibly have to offer? 213 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,385 My encouraging screams. 214 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:12,040 And we are seconds away, folks. 215 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:15,391 ADULT ADAM: I had to admit, that night, there was an energy in the air. 216 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:17,872 Had I been wrong? Were sports exciting? 217 00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:21,005 And here is the kickoff! 218 00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:22,746 Germantown... 219 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,139 Does not return. 220 00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:25,445 ADULT ADAM: Nah. It was boring as hell. 221 00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:26,968 Here's the snap. 222 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:28,448 Nope. Dead ball. 223 00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,580 Oh, so slow. 224 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,061 Which led me to get distracted by just about anything. 225 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,933 [LAUGHS] I have to say it, that is a handsome pigeon. 226 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,849 My Spanish teacher's really mowing down that snow cone. 227 00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:41,069 That dude in the opposite stands looks like Carl Weathers. 228 00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:44,202 Scoreboard zoom! Ee-ooh-ee-ooh. 229 00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:45,813 Hot pigeon is back! 230 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:48,163 Strut your stuff, my fetching friend! 231 00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:51,601 This is it, folks. Six ticks left on the clock. 232 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,778 Looks like the Quakers are about to lose another heartbreaker. 233 00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:56,301 There's the snap. 234 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,477 Walls drops back. 235 00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:58,565 And he fumbles! 236 00:07:58,739 --> 00:07:59,783 But wait, 237 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,264 Corbett, he squirts out of the pile! 238 00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:03,961 Whoa, look at the veins on Principal Ball's head. 239 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,049 He laterals back to Spink! 240 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:05,963 He's really getting into it. 241 00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,791 Spink back to Walls, and... 242 00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:10,011 And there's daylight! There's daylight! 243 00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:14,798 He...could...go... all...the...way! 244 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:17,366 Touchdown! Touchdown! 245 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,324 What are we so excited about? 246 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,717 Is the band coming back on the field? 247 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,545 We won! We won! 248 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,068 I'm going down there. 249 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,027 Maybe a lineman will give me a hip pad as a souvenir! 250 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:30,248 Oh, [BLEEP]. 251 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,337 ADULT ADAM: While I missed the biggest play ever, 252 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,818 my dad was taking a swing making nice with the neighbor. 253 00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,298 Hey, Wofsy. 254 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,430 Here's your rake. Are we good? 255 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,477 This isn't my rake. This is a small hand rake. 256 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:44,045 I loaned you a full-size leaf rake. 257 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:45,742 A rake's a rake. 258 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:48,397 Every autumn, I love gathering all the fallen leaves. 259 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:51,008 I build a big pile, and sometimes, I frolic in it. 260 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,053 You took that from me. 261 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,055 Fine. I'll buy you another rake 262 00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:55,839 so you can do your upsetting leaf business. 263 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,146 Oh, it's not just the rake. 264 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,628 Your kids hit a million balls and Frisbees over my fence, 265 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,804 and for some reason, three hockey nets. 266 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,153 You could have tossed them back over. 267 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,459 I did, and they hit them back, 268 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,810 and then they say, "We're playing fence volleyball." 269 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,638 That's between you and them. 270 00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:13,378 And what about the avocado tree? 271 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,294 I love guacamole, okay? Is that a crime? 272 00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:19,689 No, but dangling your youngest child from a ladder 273 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,387 to steal your neighbor's tree treasure is. 274 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,912 Screw this! Screw you! 275 00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,478 I need my special hand-rake back. 276 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,916 Choke on my guac, Goldberg! 277 00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,658 I can't, Wofsy! 'Cause you ran out! 278 00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,834 ADULT ADAM: While my dad dropped the ball, 279 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:37,489 I was hoping a test audience wouldn't notice my costly fumble. 280 00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:41,406 ...could...go... all...the...way! 281 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,974 Touchdown! Touchdown! 282 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,541 What the hell is this? 283 00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,587 Why are we looking at Principal Ball? 284 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,502 Well, Principal Ball's unbridled enthusiasm 285 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,330 distracted me from the handsome pigeon I was filming. 286 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,288 You were filming a pigeon? 287 00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:54,898 You didn't see this pigeon. 288 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,900 Birds do have a mesmerizing way. 289 00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,075 Shut up, Matt Bradley. 290 00:09:58,249 --> 00:09:59,424 Birds are the roaches of the sky. 291 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,252 Is it that bad? 292 00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,124 Because the school wants to do a post-game pep rally 293 00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,821 and show the game at lunch tomorrow. 294 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,780 I'd probably just leave the country if I were you. 295 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,651 I mean, they're going to hunt you down wherever you go, 296 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,392 but see a little bit of this crazy world first. 297 00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,960 You should also change your name. Maybe Xander Hamlin? 298 00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:16,137 Oh, he can't pull off Xander. Maybe Bernard or a Chester. 299 00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:17,529 I'm not moving out of the country 300 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:18,966 and living a different life as a Chester. 301 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,707 Then there's only one solution. 302 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:21,882 Come clean and... 303 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:24,188 We re-create the play on video. 304 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,626 Yes. That sounds reasonable to me in this moment. 305 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,280 But we're just four dudes. 306 00:10:29,454 --> 00:10:32,936 Four dudes with the raw skill and physical perfection of a varsity football team. 307 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,634 Plus, with my slick editing, 308 00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,113 no one will know the difference, probably. 309 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,028 ADULT ADAM: At least that's what I'd hoped, 310 00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,943 but they knew the difference, 311 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,728 and were not afraid to express their opinion. 312 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:44,861 [CROWD BOOING ANGRILY] 313 00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:45,949 Dude, what did you do? 314 00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,256 A seamless re-creation? 315 00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,388 That's clearly your brother and his idiot friends! 316 00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:51,433 One of them's wearing jeans! 317 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,130 I'll handle this. 318 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,655 Relax! Sports don't matter! 319 00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:58,788 [BOOING ANGRILY] 320 00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,880 ADULT ADAM: My brother couldn't help me fix my big sports screw-up, 321 00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:05,926 so I had to step up to the plate and face the high heat... 322 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,710 Whatever that means. 323 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,451 This is the worst thing that ever happened to our school 324 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,583 since the witch burnings. 325 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,324 You're lucky we don't do that anymore. 326 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:14,978 Technically, I'd be a warlock. 327 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,632 That's what they call male witches. 328 00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:18,416 Just FYI, if it comes up socially. 329 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:19,679 When would it come up socially? 330 00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,768 At a Wiccan cocktail party? 331 00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:24,248 Perfect example, but I'm still furious. 332 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,424 What if we just lob a call to Germantown Prep and redo the game? 333 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,252 That's your solution? 334 00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:29,950 Look, I don't want to overstate this, 335 00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,517 but you have killed our school spirit forever! 336 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,518 I can fix that. 337 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,390 What is spirit anyway 338 00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:36,739 if not something dead that comes back to haunt people? 339 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:37,914 But in a good way. 340 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,655 Stop speaking in tongues, warlock. 341 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,005 I'll make a new video of the seniors 342 00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,834 sharing their joyful William Penn experiences. 343 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,009 Why should I give you another shot? 344 00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:48,185 Because, like our football team, 345 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,361 you love the story of an underdog 346 00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:52,624 coming from behind for a big win. 347 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,584 But if you don't reinvigorate our student spirit, 348 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,934 I'm calling NYU and showing them the pigeon video. 349 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,936 The stakes are weirdly high. 350 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,809 ADULT ADAM: With that, I set off to win back my classmates. 351 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,115 Yo, Walls! Senior year! Hit me with your favorite memory. 352 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,292 Eat a hot, wet dog turd, Goldberg. 353 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,816 Which they weren't exactly happy about. 354 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,774 You ruined my life. 355 00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:14,037 I was gonna put that in my hype reel to get into SMU! 356 00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:15,952 Here's a senior quote... 357 00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:16,953 "Every second of every day, 358 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,085 "I want to kick you in the head." 359 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:18,955 I say this as an educator... 360 00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,174 You [BLEEP] up. 361 00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,262 [CROWD BOOING] 362 00:12:21,436 --> 00:12:23,264 While my peers rejected me, 363 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:25,048 my mom was looking for a little help from her friends. 364 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,790 Okay, Wofsy won't sell to us, 365 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,792 so, Ginzy, I need you to put the house in your name 366 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:33,491 and I will pay you back over many, many years at little to no interest. 367 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,319 Beverly, this is book club. 368 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:38,105 We're talking about Toni Morrison's Beloved. 369 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:41,499 Well, I would be-love-it if you would just do it. 370 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,501 Linda, how's your credit?Bad. 371 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,982 Then I'm tapped out. Anyone else? 372 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:47,636 Why don't you seduce him with home-cooked meals and baked goods? 373 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,377 Or... 374 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,466 Essie actually seduces him. 375 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,859 Excuse me, now? 376 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,600 Come on, you're single and ready to mangle. 377 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,299 Let's fix your hair and makeup and send you over there. 378 00:12:58,473 --> 00:12:59,604 What's wrong with my hair and makeup? 379 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,650 Mom, I shouldn't have to say this again, 380 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,087 but sending your friends to do adult favors is no way to get a house. 381 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,306 Do you have any better ideas? 382 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,960 Ooh, write a letter. 383 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,831 That's what my parents did when they bought their house. 384 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:11,660 Lou and I wrote a note that was so moving and heartfelt 385 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,054 that the nice, old lady wept in my arms. 386 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:17,318 Of course. A heartfelt letter. Oh. 387 00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:19,842 But instead of Geoff's stupid idea, we'll do my thing. 388 00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,061 Kids, follow me. 389 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,280 I'm insulted, but along for the ride. 390 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,892 ADULT ADAM: And so my mom took a shot at doing what she does best... 391 00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,111 Emotional manipulation. 392 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,635 Listen, I know you have issues with Murray, 393 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,943 but I gotta tell you the real reason we need this house. 394 00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:35,597 What's that?We're pregnant. 395 00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,164 The hell?Mom! 396 00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:38,774 They're shy about it, but it's true. 397 00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,168 Erica is with child. 398 00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:42,386 I can't feel my body. 399 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,475 Congrats. How far along are you? 400 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,782 Oh, far enough along to know the clock is ticking, 401 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:50,177 and they cannot start a family in that dingy studio apartment 402 00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:54,007 with asbestos and raccoons, right, Erica? 403 00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,052 Uh, poison, woodland creatures, and a baby... 404 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,358 It could all be true. 405 00:13:57,532 --> 00:14:00,187 I loved having my grandkids close. 406 00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:02,450 Then my son-in-law dragged them away to the desert 407 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,365 so he could start a magic club. 408 00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:07,455 Idiot. With his cards and illusion cabinet. 409 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,065 Well, these two aren't going anywhere. 410 00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:10,937 Or stopping at one. 411 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,591 She's got about, uh, five to seven more to spit out. 412 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,115 She definitely knows my body. 413 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,508 Have you ever heard of a family bed? 414 00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:20,729 Well, ours is gonna fit three generations. 415 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,471 Oh, speaking of three, let's talk numbers. 416 00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,908 ADULT ADAM: As my mom made headway with Wofsy, 417 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,910 I needed a new way to restore school spirit. 418 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:29,564 Hot... Hype! 419 00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:30,652 Every second of every day, I want to... 420 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:31,914 ADAM: What do we think?I love it. 421 00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,395 Sorry. 422 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:35,918 I'm talking about my giant Tootsie Roll. 423 00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,964 Your video is crap. 424 00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,182 Stupid sports ruin everything! 425 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,358 It's not sports' fault. 426 00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:43,447 In fact, you actually love sports. 427 00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,537 For example, what's this? 428 00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,931 That's my costume from Jesus Christ Superstar. 429 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,367 I played Unnamed Apostle. 430 00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:52,021 That's your jersey. 431 00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:54,284 And this is?My playbill from The Wiz. 432 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:55,851 The school paper said my performance 433 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:57,418 was "alarmingly insensitive." 434 00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,463 See? That's your program. 435 00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:02,684 And the script is your playbook. 436 00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,860 The stage is your playing field, the cast is the team, 437 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:05,992 and the audience is the crowd. 438 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,385 I get it. Theater is my sport. 439 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,648 Only one problem, football sucks. 440 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,563 To you. But for a lot of people, 441 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,478 it's their best memory of high school. 442 00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:18,047 I mean, what if some jerk took your precious musical away? 443 00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:21,311 I wouldn't have that permanent rash from that cat costume, 444 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,487 but I see what you're saying. Thanks. 445 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,489 ADULT ADAM: As I set out with a new plan, 446 00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:29,058 my parents went about the business of selling our old house. 447 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,582 You know, usually, during open houses, 448 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,454 the homeowner isn't around, and yet, 449 00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:34,890 uh-heh, here you are. 450 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,718 Work around me.[DOORBELL RINGS] 451 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:37,588 Okay. 452 00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:42,202 Hi, welcome! Come on in! 453 00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,464 Thanks. [LAUGHS] 454 00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:45,509 So much character.Mm-hmm. 455 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,773 Banister's a little wonky, though. 456 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,819 You'll definitely want to replace that 457 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:53,256 with maybe something tasteful and not gross, 458 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,563 but the house has good bones. 459 00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:58,653 Just terrible skin and teeth and furniture and room flow. 460 00:15:58,827 --> 00:15:59,959 Ugh. And the carpet. 461 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:02,352 Oh, yeah. It's from a crime scene. 462 00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:05,138 Let's pop into the kitchen and see what else we can rip the ass out of. 463 00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:08,228 ADULT ADAM: Turns out that one open house did make a sale... 464 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,098 To my dad. 465 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:13,059 Whoo-hoo! Old man Wofsy took the bait. 466 00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:16,366 10% over asking in cash! 467 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:19,674 [GRUNTS] Look out, block! The Goldbergs are upsizing! 468 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:20,544 We're moving! 469 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,633 No, we're not. 470 00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,548 ♪♪♪♪ 471 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,335 ADULT ADAM: After messing up 472 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,119 and becoming the most hated kid in school, 473 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,034 I had one final shot for a legendary comeback. 474 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,688 Okay. 475 00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:35,733 I know none of you want to be here, 476 00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:39,041 but there's one senior who just won't quit. 477 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:39,911 Adam. 478 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:46,353 So, I know we'll never have video 479 00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,355 of the amazing thing our football team did that day. 480 00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,140 I'm sorry. 481 00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:54,143 I just figured, if I lost one special moment, 482 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:57,233 maybe I could help find a few more. 483 00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,019 ADULT ADAM: That night, I didn't know if I'd graduate with everyone hating me, 484 00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,934 but I figured that with a great song, 485 00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:06,764 I could remind everyone that our time together was truly a wonder. 486 00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:11,900 ♪♪ What would you do if I sang out of tune? 487 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:16,035 ADAM: Looking back, I'm amazed at the time we've spent here, 488 00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:19,342 that we've gotten to grow up together at William Penn Academy. 489 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:22,606 What else can I say about our class other than... 490 00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:24,086 There wasn't another one like it. 491 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,783 ♪♪ Try not to sing out of key 492 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:28,351 ♪♪ Oh, baby, I get by 493 00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,832 ♪♪ I get by with a little help from my friends 494 00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:32,877 ♪♪ All I need is my buddies 495 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,229 ♪♪ I get by with a little help from my friends... ♪♪ 496 00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,318 Some of us have been together since first grade, 497 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,233 and most haven't changed a bit. 498 00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:45,368 It's funny how, even if we weren't close friends, 499 00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,066 we were all connected. 500 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,980 That's what makes this place special. 501 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:50,243 The people, 502 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:53,594 and that's what we'll take away. 503 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:55,726 William Penn has taught us lots... 504 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,946 That is, when we paid attention. 505 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,079 We learned that life is about messing up, 506 00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:02,298 getting up, growing up. 507 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:07,216 Yeah, we're all just kids with our whole lives ahead of us, 508 00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:12,221 but the William Penn years, they really were the best. 509 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,660 ♪♪♪♪ 510 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:26,757 [SCATTERED CLAPPING] 511 00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:32,415 [APPLAUSE] 512 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,461 [CHEERING] 513 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:40,945 ALL: Seniors! Seniors! Seniors! Seniors! Seniors! 514 00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:43,426 Whoo! 515 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,689 ♪♪♪♪ 516 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,216 Nice work, Mr. Goldberg. 517 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,568 You might really have a future in this kind of thing. 518 00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:55,699 ADULT ADAM: Maybe I did. 519 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:04,055 Murray, I don't get it. You wanted that house, too. 520 00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:06,232 I did. 521 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,408 Until that mean lady realtor 522 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,540 wanted to replace the banister. 523 00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:12,238 So? It is wobbly. 524 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,022 Really? Tear down the banister 525 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,242 where little moron Barry got his head stuck? 526 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:17,373 No, thank you. 527 00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,462 You remember that? 528 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,551 Of course I remember that. I remember everything. 529 00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:23,814 That stain in the carpet that they want to pull out, 530 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,990 that's from Adam being an idiot, 531 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,906 and that chip in the wall that they want to replace, 532 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,386 that's from Erica's stupid head. 533 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,347 Oh, Murray. 534 00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:37,393 No media room is worth losing all of that. 535 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:41,223 This is our broken-down, busted-up house. 536 00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:42,398 It's perfect. 537 00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:43,617 You're not moving? 538 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:45,880 No. 539 00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:47,403 I thought I could trick you 540 00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:48,361 into spending more time with me, 541 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,408 but I can't leave these memories. 542 00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:54,671 Mom, we'll go, but no matter what, 543 00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:56,412 we'll always come back. 544 00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:57,631 This is our home forever, too. 545 00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,808 ♪♪♪♪ 546 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,201 [CLICKS TONGUE] 547 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,290 But I already wrote the check to Wofsy. 548 00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:05,247 Oh, damn it. 549 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,859 Well, I guess you guys will have to live next door. 550 00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,470 Yeah, no. 551 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,385 Your little pregnancy performance earlier 552 00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,300 made living next to you seem not so great. 553 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:16,258 It was the family bed for me. 554 00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,565 Then I think I have another idea. 555 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:22,525 ADULT ADAM: Turns out you can think about the future and still hold onto the past. 556 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,920 [LAUGHING] 557 00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:29,750 Looking back at high school, we were all different people with different interests, 558 00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:32,274 but we shared a certain bond, 559 00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,755 not because of where we'd come from, 560 00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:37,845 but because of the years we had spent together. 561 00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:41,675 Because in the end, all that matters is the people. 562 00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:43,981 Sure, they may come and go throughout the course of our lives... 563 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:47,289 Oh, howdy, neighbor-slash-landlord. 564 00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:48,856 [CHUCKLES] I hope you like bird-sitting. 565 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:52,120 ...but the memories they create are forever. 566 00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,295 ♪♪♪♪ 567 00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:58,822 [BELL DINGS] 568 00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:04,915 ADAM: The Wonder Years is the best. 569 00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:07,004 Who doesn't love a kid looking back at his formative years 570 00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:09,268 with... I'm just gonna say it... Wonder? 571 00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:11,008 Except I don't buy Kevin and Winnie. 572 00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:12,314 It's like, why is she with him? 573 00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:14,229 What? He's a loveable every-boy 574 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:16,318 with timeless and deceptive charm. 575 00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:18,233 Ehh. He's short and has a weird voice. 576 00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:20,017 Plus, he's got that really annoying best friend. 577 00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:21,410 Paul's the breakout character. 578 00:21:21,584 --> 00:21:22,846 If anyone's annoying, it's the older brother. 579 00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:24,674 Wayne rules. 580 00:21:24,848 --> 00:21:26,154 I like the way he doesn't think anything through. 581 00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:28,025 I'm a fan of the older sister. 582 00:21:28,199 --> 00:21:29,157 Why don't they give her more stories? 583 00:21:29,207 --> 00:21:33,757 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 43751

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