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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==- 2 00:00:45,525 --> 00:00:47,565 Okay, I'll fire her up. 3 00:00:49,085 --> 00:00:52,725 I see you downloaded the new maps. Cool. You got any weed? 4 00:00:52,805 --> 00:00:54,725 - What... what are you doing? - Don't you have another controller? 5 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,165 No, I meant what are you doing here? 6 00:00:56,245 --> 00:00:58,325 Oh, I got a cousin's wedding in Germany. 7 00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:00,005 Worked out cheaper 8 00:01:00,085 --> 00:01:01,565 if I stay here a couple of nights in London. 9 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:03,045 You know, didn't think you would, uh... 10 00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:04,685 Oh, shit! 11 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:08,285 Dude! It was from here, wasn't it? Holy mother of... 12 00:01:08,365 --> 00:01:09,925 Shh! Keep your voice down. 13 00:01:10,845 --> 00:01:12,045 What, is Becca sleeping? 14 00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:12,925 Not any more. 15 00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:16,325 Oh... Hello, darling. 16 00:01:16,885 --> 00:01:19,525 Yeah, babe, do you remember Will_5000? 17 00:01:19,605 --> 00:01:23,925 You know, that guy I play online with? Well, he's come to stay for a few nights. 18 00:01:24,565 --> 00:01:28,045 That's funny. You think I'd remember one of your friends who I've never met 19 00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:30,445 planning to arrive at my flat in the middle of the night. 20 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:34,285 Sorry. I kind of, um, sprung it on Daniel. Yeah. 21 00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:35,365 Right. 22 00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:36,845 Okay. 23 00:01:37,485 --> 00:01:38,845 Welcome to our home. 24 00:01:39,525 --> 00:01:41,205 Thank you, Becca. 25 00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:44,205 And again, sorry. I know it's kinda late. 26 00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:47,365 No, no... it's... it's fine, um... 27 00:01:48,965 --> 00:01:50,645 Why didn't you tell me? 28 00:01:50,725 --> 00:01:53,605 Oh, look, he just turned up, okay? I didn't know he was coming. 29 00:01:53,685 --> 00:01:55,085 What's wrong with his face? 30 00:01:55,645 --> 00:01:56,845 I don't know. 31 00:01:56,925 --> 00:01:58,645 It's the first time I've ever met him. 32 00:01:59,725 --> 00:02:01,805 Oh, he's not gonna need all this. 33 00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:03,605 It's not just for him. 34 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:14,085 Subtitles by explosiveskull 35 00:02:15,405 --> 00:02:17,885 You never told me about the, er... 36 00:02:18,525 --> 00:02:19,725 - The mask? - Mmm. 37 00:02:21,005 --> 00:02:22,605 Everyone wants to know about the mask. 38 00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:24,965 It's the cheapest one I could get. 39 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,485 I'm saving up for surgery. 40 00:02:27,405 --> 00:02:29,445 So... what... what happened? 41 00:02:32,965 --> 00:02:34,365 I was eight years old. 42 00:02:35,605 --> 00:02:37,205 Mom had been ironing in our trailer. 43 00:02:38,285 --> 00:02:39,165 She left the iron on. 44 00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:42,325 I was standing on a stool, reaching for the cookie jar. 45 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,245 The stool gives way. 46 00:02:44,725 --> 00:02:47,005 I come down, bring the ironing board down with me and... 47 00:02:48,045 --> 00:02:49,205 Fuck! 48 00:02:49,885 --> 00:02:52,045 - I'm sorry, man. That's... - Well... 49 00:02:53,805 --> 00:02:56,405 At least it didn't land on my dick. 50 00:02:56,485 --> 00:02:57,485 Right? 51 00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,325 Fuck you, asshole! 52 00:02:59,405 --> 00:03:02,685 Ooh, can we just...? Let's just keep it quiet. 53 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:03,725 You saw that, right? 54 00:03:03,805 --> 00:03:06,405 I mean, I emptied a full fucking clip into this guy, he doesn't go down. 55 00:03:06,485 --> 00:03:07,445 I mean, in what world? 56 00:03:07,525 --> 00:03:09,565 Do you know what? I'm gonna try and get some sleep. 57 00:03:10,365 --> 00:03:11,245 Totally. 58 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,365 I am so fucking jetlagged right now, 59 00:03:13,445 --> 00:03:15,845 I'm not gonna be able to sleep for hours, you know. 60 00:03:17,645 --> 00:03:21,565 You motherfucker! Suck my dick! Suck it! 61 00:03:23,965 --> 00:03:25,245 I wasn't sure at first, 62 00:03:25,325 --> 00:03:27,445 but I think that new haircut takes years off you. 63 00:03:27,525 --> 00:03:28,885 Oh, thank you. 64 00:03:29,445 --> 00:03:33,245 And also, I'd like to officially thank you 65 00:03:33,325 --> 00:03:35,325 for agreeing to share our... 66 00:03:36,245 --> 00:03:37,925 our martial bed once again. 67 00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:39,885 And now... 68 00:03:41,205 --> 00:03:43,325 No, no, no, no, Iain. I'm not quite ready for that, no. 69 00:03:43,405 --> 00:03:45,485 - Please! - No, Iain. Soon, darling. 70 00:03:47,405 --> 00:03:50,725 Sorry. Make way! 71 00:03:52,285 --> 00:03:53,845 - Iain! - I'm sorry. 72 00:03:55,005 --> 00:03:58,805 07700 900843. Dr. Iain Glennis speaking. 73 00:03:58,885 --> 00:04:00,125 Iain, it's Sherry. 74 00:04:00,205 --> 00:04:01,885 Oh, hello, Sherry. 75 00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:04,845 How would you and Mrs. G like to join me and Mrs. S at the club? 76 00:04:05,605 --> 00:04:06,685 Oh, yes. 77 00:04:06,765 --> 00:04:09,045 Yes, I'd like that very much. 78 00:04:09,645 --> 00:04:11,765 Well, great. See you there at midday. 79 00:04:11,845 --> 00:04:13,445 Yes. Goodbye. 80 00:04:14,685 --> 00:04:17,365 - Sherry? - Yes, short for Sherringford. 81 00:04:18,085 --> 00:04:19,365 Sherringford? 82 00:04:19,445 --> 00:04:21,045 Yes. Sherringford Samson. 83 00:04:22,205 --> 00:04:23,845 He's just invited me 84 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,005 and the most beautiful woman in the world 85 00:04:27,085 --> 00:04:31,525 to spend the afternoon with him in his rather exclusive 86 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,925 country club. 87 00:04:34,285 --> 00:04:36,445 Oh, Iain! 88 00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:38,365 - Oh! - Oh. 89 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,285 I'm just going to pick out my outfit. 90 00:04:43,405 --> 00:04:44,685 We have to clean the whole flat? 91 00:04:44,765 --> 00:04:46,885 Yes. I want it to look nice for Vanessa. 92 00:04:46,965 --> 00:04:49,085 Why would she come in the bedroom? 93 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:51,205 - I'll get it! - Thanks, Will! 94 00:04:51,285 --> 00:04:52,325 Because, you know... 95 00:04:56,765 --> 00:04:59,005 I'm really sorry. 96 00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:02,685 Please, Vanessa, stop apologizing. I'm used to it. 97 00:05:02,765 --> 00:05:03,805 Okay. 98 00:05:03,885 --> 00:05:05,485 How are you feeling, Daniel? 99 00:05:06,645 --> 00:05:09,725 - You know, not too bad. - Why, what's wrong? 100 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,525 I'm sure... I'm sure I told you about my... 101 00:05:15,405 --> 00:05:16,525 illness. 102 00:05:16,605 --> 00:05:18,765 Oh, right! 103 00:05:19,165 --> 00:05:20,245 God! 104 00:05:20,965 --> 00:05:22,645 And how are you, Vanessa? 105 00:05:23,445 --> 00:05:24,525 I'm okay. 106 00:05:25,765 --> 00:05:27,045 I lost my husband recently. 107 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:28,685 Mmm. Ash, right? 108 00:05:29,365 --> 00:05:32,525 Daniel's other best friend. He sounded like a cool dude. 109 00:05:32,605 --> 00:05:33,805 He was. 110 00:05:34,925 --> 00:05:36,405 I'm just starting to think... 111 00:05:37,365 --> 00:05:39,645 how well did I really know you, Ash? 112 00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:42,565 I found condoms in his wallet. 113 00:05:45,605 --> 00:05:47,645 We hadn't used condoms for ages. 114 00:05:47,725 --> 00:05:49,125 Well, maybe they were old ones. 115 00:05:49,765 --> 00:05:51,325 I still don't know where his car is. 116 00:05:52,965 --> 00:05:54,525 And now this thing with his phone. 117 00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:58,245 I can't get into it. His code was always 2019. 118 00:05:58,325 --> 00:06:00,165 - Yeah. - The same as yours. 119 00:06:00,245 --> 00:06:03,245 - Yeah, it was always that. - The year Blade Runner's set. Very cool. 120 00:06:03,325 --> 00:06:06,245 But since I got it back from the hospital, that code doesn't work. 121 00:06:08,405 --> 00:06:10,205 Oh, well, you know. 122 00:06:10,285 --> 00:06:14,565 Maybe it caught a virus from being at the hospital. 123 00:06:16,885 --> 00:06:19,365 - That's not funny, Daniel. - That is not cool, bro. 124 00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:23,725 Is there a way of getting into a phone without knowing the code? 125 00:06:23,805 --> 00:06:25,885 Well, even the FBI can't hack those things, Vanessa. 126 00:06:25,965 --> 00:06:28,565 Anyway, I have got some excellent carob bars. 127 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:33,125 Yeah! They're zero calories and taste amazing. 128 00:06:34,325 --> 00:06:35,725 Please, Dad. 129 00:06:36,005 --> 00:06:39,445 It's a lovely day. Your mother wouldn't be very happy 130 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,165 if I took you to a dark cinema, would she? 131 00:06:41,685 --> 00:06:44,485 - But it's a classic! - Maybe if it was The Hunger Games, 132 00:06:44,565 --> 00:06:46,045 but not Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 133 00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:47,205 You're 11. 134 00:06:52,205 --> 00:06:54,365 Put that in the dishwasher. 135 00:06:54,445 --> 00:06:55,525 Hello? 136 00:06:56,445 --> 00:06:58,805 Okay. Well, I'll get there as soon as I can. 137 00:06:59,405 --> 00:07:02,005 Um... We're going to have to take a trip into work. 138 00:07:02,085 --> 00:07:03,605 But it's Sunday. 139 00:07:03,685 --> 00:07:06,245 Well, I'm sorry, young lady, but the alarm has gone off. 140 00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,725 Oh, so I'm not allowed to see an acclaimed horror film, 141 00:07:08,805 --> 00:07:11,685 but I am allowed to be a security guard for a health insurance firm? 142 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,565 Can you just... 143 00:07:14,965 --> 00:07:16,485 ...grow up? 144 00:07:18,245 --> 00:07:19,765 I wish we had a nicer car. 145 00:07:19,845 --> 00:07:21,925 What? This is an Audi, my darling. 146 00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:23,885 Yes, and it's bashed to pieces. 147 00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:25,565 Accidents can't be helped, can they? 148 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,565 Yes, they can. You just need to take more care, darling. 149 00:07:29,525 --> 00:07:32,645 I... I told you. I was swerving to avoid a squirrel. 150 00:07:34,965 --> 00:07:37,085 So, where is Ash buried? 151 00:07:38,205 --> 00:07:39,565 He was cremated. 152 00:07:40,645 --> 00:07:45,565 I, um... I haven't scattered the ashes yet. I just... I've not felt ready. 153 00:07:45,645 --> 00:07:46,765 I get that. 154 00:07:47,285 --> 00:07:48,565 So where did you guys meet? 155 00:07:49,645 --> 00:07:52,565 Funny enough, right here, in the garden. 156 00:07:53,325 --> 00:07:56,765 Daniel and Becca's barbecue, three years ago. 157 00:07:59,565 --> 00:08:00,725 Down here? 158 00:08:00,805 --> 00:08:02,005 Uh... yes. 159 00:08:02,605 --> 00:08:05,125 It was a summer evening. 160 00:08:05,805 --> 00:08:08,125 He was wearing his Indiana Jones T-shirt. 161 00:08:08,205 --> 00:08:09,325 Raiders? 162 00:08:10,045 --> 00:08:11,565 Uh... I guess. 163 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,365 Vanessa, you should totally scatter his ashes in the garden. 164 00:08:15,445 --> 00:08:16,685 Oh, Will! 165 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,325 You heard what she said. She's... she's not ready. 166 00:08:19,405 --> 00:08:21,805 No, he's right. I should. 167 00:08:22,325 --> 00:08:23,685 Do it today! 168 00:08:23,765 --> 00:08:26,205 Oh, it's a bit... Let's not rush her. 169 00:08:27,045 --> 00:08:28,485 Could we do it today? 170 00:08:29,365 --> 00:08:33,605 No. I think you need to get permission from the council before you... 171 00:08:34,285 --> 00:08:35,725 scatter ashes in a... 172 00:08:35,805 --> 00:08:37,205 For God's sake, Daniel! 173 00:08:37,285 --> 00:08:38,685 Look, of course we can. 174 00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:40,685 I'll drive you back and we can get the urn. 175 00:08:41,485 --> 00:08:42,605 Okay. 176 00:09:00,645 --> 00:09:01,805 He is dead. 177 00:09:07,165 --> 00:09:08,525 - Jesus! - Hey. 178 00:09:08,605 --> 00:09:11,565 You scared the shit out of me. Why did you suggest that to Vanessa? 179 00:09:11,645 --> 00:09:13,245 Sorry. I was just trying to be nice. 180 00:09:13,645 --> 00:09:17,405 Well, we're gonna be scattering his ashes where he landed. 181 00:09:17,885 --> 00:09:18,885 Shit! 182 00:09:18,965 --> 00:09:20,405 I didn't think. Forgive me. 183 00:09:20,925 --> 00:09:23,125 Just... think in future. 184 00:09:23,205 --> 00:09:24,365 Will do. 185 00:09:24,445 --> 00:09:28,125 So, what are you doing here? Checking there's no sign of him? 186 00:09:29,245 --> 00:09:30,605 I'm just... just seeing 187 00:09:30,685 --> 00:09:32,445 - if I've missed anything. - Hmm. 188 00:09:33,165 --> 00:09:34,845 Like, did you ever notice that? 189 00:09:36,645 --> 00:09:37,925 Oh, fuck! 190 00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:42,685 If there's any footage, I'll need to delete it before he sees it. 191 00:09:43,485 --> 00:09:46,445 I'll create a diversion. So, what's he like? 192 00:09:46,525 --> 00:09:47,645 A bit weird. 193 00:09:48,165 --> 00:09:50,085 Sometimes I see him going through our bins. 194 00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:52,085 Plus there's... 195 00:09:53,365 --> 00:09:55,285 Cameras. 196 00:09:58,605 --> 00:10:00,285 Maybe he's not in. 197 00:10:01,045 --> 00:10:02,805 Hello! Anybody home? 198 00:10:02,885 --> 00:10:04,885 - We're not Jehovah's Witnesses! - Will! 199 00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:07,325 See? 200 00:10:11,805 --> 00:10:13,165 What do you want? 201 00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:14,725 Hi. 202 00:10:15,325 --> 00:10:16,925 Sorry, I've completely forgotten your name. 203 00:10:17,005 --> 00:10:18,125 It's Paul. 204 00:10:18,205 --> 00:10:19,605 Paul, yeah. 205 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:22,725 Um, my drainpipe at the back of ours has come loose 206 00:10:22,805 --> 00:10:25,645 and it looks like someone might've tried to break in. 207 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,605 Mmm. And maybe he fell into the garden. 208 00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:31,965 You have a security camera pointing at our wall 209 00:10:32,045 --> 00:10:34,285 and I just thought you might have some footage of what happened. 210 00:10:34,365 --> 00:10:35,645 I might. 211 00:10:37,325 --> 00:10:39,205 Right. Is there...? 212 00:10:39,285 --> 00:10:41,685 - Can we come in and... - What's wrong with your face? 213 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,325 - I was eight years old. - Mmm? 214 00:10:46,885 --> 00:10:49,845 Mom had been ironing in our trailer. She left the iron on. 215 00:10:49,925 --> 00:10:52,005 I was standing on a stool, reaching for the cookie jar. 216 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,405 The stool gave way, took the ironing board down with me and... 217 00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,045 And... what? 218 00:11:00,005 --> 00:11:02,525 And... the iron fell on my face. 219 00:11:02,605 --> 00:11:03,845 Oh, right. 220 00:11:04,885 --> 00:11:08,085 As long as you're not some kind of masked burglar 221 00:11:10,845 --> 00:11:12,125 Wait here. 222 00:11:14,205 --> 00:11:15,525 I'm going to get changed. 223 00:11:15,605 --> 00:11:17,525 Can you... can you just stop saying things? 224 00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:18,645 What? 225 00:11:18,725 --> 00:11:20,645 He might've fallen in the garden! 226 00:11:20,725 --> 00:11:23,085 Yeah, but that is what the footage is gonna show, right? 227 00:11:25,365 --> 00:11:27,165 On what day do you think it happened? 228 00:11:27,765 --> 00:11:29,165 Let me think... 229 00:11:30,485 --> 00:11:33,165 - Could we try May the 16th? - Mm-hm. 230 00:11:33,285 --> 00:11:34,725 About 1:45 pm? 231 00:11:36,285 --> 00:11:38,005 Is that an Xbox One? 232 00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:39,565 Yes! 233 00:11:39,645 --> 00:11:42,725 If you're a serious gamer, you should really consider getting the PS4. 234 00:11:42,805 --> 00:11:44,725 The Xbox One is a superior machine. 235 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,525 For pure gaming, it's not, and their network is a turd. 236 00:11:47,605 --> 00:11:49,525 Has PlayStation got backwards compatibility? 237 00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:51,085 No, because we don't live in the past. 238 00:11:51,165 --> 00:11:52,685 You're just a PlayStation fanboy. 239 00:11:52,765 --> 00:11:55,485 And you're just a Microsoft pussy with a Microsoft dick. 240 00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:57,365 - Right, get out! - Let's not overreact... 241 00:11:57,445 --> 00:11:58,525 No, you too. Out. 242 00:11:58,605 --> 00:12:00,285 But we haven't looked at the footage yet. 243 00:12:00,365 --> 00:12:02,965 No, and you and Boardwalk Empire here never will. 244 00:12:03,045 --> 00:12:04,885 - Apologize, Will. - No fucking way! 245 00:12:04,965 --> 00:12:06,885 Get out! I'm calling the police on you. 246 00:12:07,645 --> 00:12:09,485 Out! Move! Thank you. 247 00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:14,850 Oh, the owners are here to greet us. 248 00:12:14,930 --> 00:12:16,730 I think they're the staff, Iain. 249 00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,410 Really? Okay. 250 00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:21,690 Darling, I do wish you'd worn your matching trousers. 251 00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:23,770 I know, but moths had eaten the gusset, darling. 252 00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:30,290 - Iain. - Ah, Sherry. 253 00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:31,890 Hello. 254 00:12:32,730 --> 00:12:35,650 And your fragrant wife. 255 00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:37,370 Yes. This is Annette. 256 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,370 - Hello... Sherry. - Hello. 257 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:43,890 Come and meet Mrs. S. And the Frobishers are here and the- 258 00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:45,290 Excuse me, Mr. Samson. 259 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,650 You've trodden in something. 260 00:12:47,730 --> 00:12:49,130 No, I don't think I have. 261 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,290 Oh, bedknobs and broomsticks! 262 00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:54,290 - Make your excuses and go and clean them. - Yes, I'm sorry. 263 00:12:54,770 --> 00:12:56,490 I'll go and find a hose. 264 00:12:56,570 --> 00:12:58,530 Oh, what? 265 00:12:59,770 --> 00:13:01,490 - 07700 800... - It's me. 266 00:13:01,570 --> 00:13:03,330 Okay, you need to get here right now. 267 00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:04,970 I can't, Daniel. I'm at a function. 268 00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:06,650 There's footage of what happened in the garden! 269 00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:09,570 My neighbor has a security camera pointed right where it happened. 270 00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:11,050 Have you been arrested? 271 00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:13,210 No, but if he sees it then we both will. 272 00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:15,450 What am I supposed to do? 273 00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:17,810 Right. I need you to go round there 274 00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:19,930 and you need to steal the hard drive. 275 00:13:20,010 --> 00:13:22,250 How? Using my invisibility cloak? 276 00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:23,810 There must be something you can do. 277 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:24,970 Ugh! 278 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:33,210 It's always left to bloomin' muggins! 279 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,490 I think Ash was having an affair. 280 00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:41,090 Ash? An affair? Don't be so silly. 281 00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:44,490 Oh, I think, um... 282 00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:45,810 Huh? Oh. 283 00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:49,210 Well, he certainly takes after his dad. 284 00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:52,690 Don't you, Mr. Stinky Winky? 285 00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,690 I miss you so much. 286 00:14:05,770 --> 00:14:08,050 I just want a little bit of you to keep. 287 00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:26,010 Fuck! 288 00:14:26,810 --> 00:14:27,810 Fuck. 289 00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:51,650 Hey. 290 00:14:53,570 --> 00:14:55,290 - You okay? - Yes. 291 00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:57,490 Yeah. 292 00:14:58,090 --> 00:14:59,370 Got Ash. 293 00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:09,170 - Oh, hello. - Who are you? 294 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:13,690 I'm from the council, sir. Just here spraying for pests. 295 00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:16,330 - What kind of pests? - You never know, sir. 296 00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:18,610 There's a big increase in... 297 00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:20,930 in woodlice there. 298 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:25,730 - Can I come in, sir? May I? - Yes. 299 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:27,810 Thanks a million. 300 00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:35,690 Stay close. 301 00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:42,770 Oh, right, yeah. Okay, good. 302 00:15:43,370 --> 00:15:46,570 Now... don't be scared, okay? 303 00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:48,130 - I'm not. - Well, good. 304 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:49,290 What if someone broke in? 305 00:15:49,370 --> 00:15:52,010 You said animal rights protestors hate Mr. West. 306 00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:53,850 No one's broken in. 307 00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:56,210 Okay, hide. 308 00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:04,530 Get down! 309 00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:12,490 - Linda! - Michael, what are you doing? 310 00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:14,570 We thought you were an animal rights protestor. 311 00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:17,210 Oh, right. And who are you? 312 00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,650 Well, my wife's away, so I had to bring Beth with me. 313 00:16:20,410 --> 00:16:21,890 Well, nice to meet you. 314 00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:23,570 Are you his mistress? 315 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,530 No! This is my daughter. 316 00:16:26,090 --> 00:16:27,370 - Oh, right. - What are you doing here? 317 00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:29,770 Well, Mr. West asked me to come and meet him here 318 00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:33,130 to show him my latest invention, the office bracelet. 319 00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:35,290 Mr. West wouldn't call a meeting on a Sunday. 320 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:38,810 Oh, he was very insistent, and he told me to wear my yellow dress. 321 00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:45,410 Okay, well, let's go and sort these lights out before Mr. West gets here. 322 00:16:46,490 --> 00:16:48,930 Mr. West is trying to have sex with her, isn't he? 323 00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:50,810 I don't know what that means. 324 00:16:57,530 --> 00:16:58,970 This is where we met 325 00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:01,290 and where he proposed to me. 326 00:17:02,530 --> 00:17:04,810 And now it's where he'll stay forever. 327 00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:10,210 Goodbye, Ash. 328 00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:13,410 Oh, God! 329 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,890 Why... why is he like that? 330 00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:25,090 Well, the lid mustn't have shut properly. I guess condensation? 331 00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:27,050 But he... 332 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:30,130 Well, he can't just sit there on the lawn, looking like a... 333 00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:32,010 - Turd. - Will! 334 00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:36,370 I think it's gonna rain later. 335 00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:39,210 You know, that will, um, help to... 336 00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:41,450 evenly 337 00:17:42,810 --> 00:17:44,490 distribute... him. 338 00:17:44,890 --> 00:17:46,690 Oh, God! 339 00:17:47,530 --> 00:17:49,490 How do you evenly distribute a turd? 340 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,730 You said you'd get that fixed. 341 00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:55,410 Oh, yeah. No, I called someone, 342 00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:58,930 but they said they couldn't get it done for a couple of weeks. 343 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,530 Well, somebody's tried to break in. 344 00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:02,410 No, it's squirrels. I told you. 345 00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,650 Becca, even if you wanna find out if someone's broken in, 346 00:18:04,730 --> 00:18:05,970 he won't show you the footage. 347 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:07,850 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, what footage? 348 00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:10,690 - He's just... - The camera up there 349 00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:11,810 would've filmed everything, 350 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,330 - but there's no use going next door. - Why? 351 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:15,730 Because we already asked. He said he wouldn't show us, 352 00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:17,890 stupid fucking Xbox fanboy. 353 00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:21,450 - Yeah, well, I'm going round right now. - Wait! 354 00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:24,610 Do you know what, I think he said he was going on holiday. He's not gonna be in. 355 00:18:27,450 --> 00:18:30,450 Sorry, sir. Could I have a glass of water, sir? 356 00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,090 Oh, couldn't have it from the tap, could I? 357 00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:35,810 I don't like the flavor of the bottles. 358 00:18:36,770 --> 00:18:38,050 Smells like dog shit in here. 359 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,810 You're not welcome in here. 360 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:51,850 Okay, you heard him. Let's go, Becca. 361 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,690 You have a camera pointed at my property. 362 00:18:53,770 --> 00:18:55,370 Do you want me to have you arrested as a peeping tom? 363 00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:57,570 I'm not a peeping tom! I'm keeping the neighborhood safe. 364 00:18:57,650 --> 00:18:59,330 - Then show us the footage. - Fine. 365 00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:02,450 But your mate Phantom of the Opera was very insulting. 366 00:19:02,530 --> 00:19:04,570 - Yeah, sorry about him. - Whoa! 367 00:19:07,810 --> 00:19:10,330 Council, spraying for bugs. 368 00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:12,890 - They not been to yours? - No. 369 00:19:12,970 --> 00:19:15,290 I'll be round to yours after here, madam. 370 00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:17,890 I know. Why don't you go back and look after Vanessa 371 00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:20,130 and I'll stay here and take care of this. 372 00:19:20,210 --> 00:19:22,250 Can you just show us the footage, please? 373 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:26,050 I've already isolated the recording from the day in question. 374 00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:29,170 Oh, yeah. That looks too grainy. 375 00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:32,610 I think this has been a waste of time. I think we should... Let's go, Becca. 376 00:19:32,690 --> 00:19:35,930 It's 720p HD with a two-megapixel camera. 377 00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:37,650 It is not grainy. 378 00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:43,410 Whizz it on a bit. 379 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:49,410 Right, yes. 380 00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:50,930 Oh, Seamus, ye... 381 00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:53,090 Ye ficking idiot, so! 382 00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:57,290 I have to pop out to me van. I've forgotten something. 383 00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:02,410 I don't fucking believe it! 384 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:04,770 You were right. 385 00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:05,890 Squirrels. 386 00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,930 See? Yeah, I told you. 387 00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,290 Bloody pests. 388 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,290 - Thank Christ for that. - What do you mean? 389 00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:14,930 Now we can't claim on the insurance. 390 00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:17,290 No, yeah, well, I meant, you know... 391 00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:21,650 Thank Christ we weren't targets of dangerous thieves. 392 00:20:22,570 --> 00:20:24,490 So a squirrel blocked my lens 393 00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:26,890 whilst its mate vandalized your drainpipe? 394 00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:31,010 - Yeah. Yeah, that... - that makes sense to me. 395 00:20:37,930 --> 00:20:39,210 You want me to 396 00:20:39,290 --> 00:20:41,170 spread it around a bit with my shoe? 397 00:20:45,050 --> 00:20:46,250 No. 398 00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:51,810 Bit more. 399 00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:53,570 Bit more. Thank you. 400 00:20:58,170 --> 00:20:59,250 Hello. 401 00:20:59,970 --> 00:21:01,010 Where have you been? 402 00:21:01,530 --> 00:21:04,330 You've missed all Sherry's stories about playing billiards with Alex Higgins. 403 00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:08,290 Iain! Mrs. G told me about your little accident. 404 00:21:08,370 --> 00:21:10,250 There's a lot of deer in Barlow Lakes' grounds. 405 00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:13,370 Yes, my diagnosis is one of them has a... 406 00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:16,570 a bad case of deer-o-rrhea. 407 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,650 Diarrhea. 408 00:21:20,170 --> 00:21:21,410 Very good, yes. 409 00:21:22,530 --> 00:21:25,330 I should look into getting you two membership here. 410 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:26,970 With Kenny West and me as sponsors, 411 00:21:27,050 --> 00:21:28,090 you'll be a... 412 00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:29,650 a shoe-in! 413 00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:38,370 - Finally. - There you go. 414 00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:41,010 Nothing to be scared of. But, you know, if you can't handle a dark office, 415 00:21:41,090 --> 00:21:44,290 then I don't think you can handle Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 416 00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:50,250 Kenny? 417 00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:53,490 Kenny? 418 00:22:05,010 --> 00:22:06,090 Kenny! 419 00:22:06,170 --> 00:22:07,330 Kenny, no! 420 00:22:11,570 --> 00:22:13,570 Mr. West committed suicide. 421 00:22:14,290 --> 00:22:15,570 Nope. 422 00:22:15,650 --> 00:22:17,810 That's autoerotic asphyxiation. 423 00:22:20,667 --> 00:22:25,667 Subtitles by explosiveskull 424 00:22:26,305 --> 00:23:26,554 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/73bk6 Help other users to choose the best subtitles 30658

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