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ANNOUNCER: It's time for
America's favorite game show:
2
00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:59,243
Pig in a Poke.
3
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:03,122
WOMAN [SlNGING]: Pig in a poke
It pays to be a glutton
4
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,623
Pig in a poke
5
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,750
Oink! Oink! Oink!
6
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:10,003
Pig in a poke
You could win all or nothing
7
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,547
Pig in a poke
8
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,091
Oink! Oink!
9
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,343
ANNOUNCER: So let's meet
our current champions...
10
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,929
...the Griswalds.
11
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,598
And here's the star of our show:
12
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,476
Kent Winkdale.
13
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,563
Well, Clark,
it's time for your big decision.
14
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,690
Are you gonna keep what's in the poke...
15
00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:33,902
...or are you gonna risk everything
and go for the big prize?
16
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:37,114
Johnny, remind our good folks
what they have already won.
17
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:40,909
ANNOUNCER: A supercharged
Honda 750 motorcycle.
18
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,830
A dream kitchen
with brand-new major appliances.
19
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,125
And for Clark, the king of the family...
20
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:51,295
...a 1 0-year supply of Regal Car Polish...
21
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,922
...the car wax of royalty.
22
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,591
But first, Clark...
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00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:59,303
...why don't you remind our audience
who you are and what you do.
24
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,763
Okay, Kent. l'm Clark W. Griswald.
25
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,683
I'm in food additives and condiments,
not preservatives.
26
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,226
Not preservatives.
27
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,314
What about the family, Clark?
28
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:13,442
This is my wife, Ellen,
my son, Rusty, and daughter, Audrey.
29
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,652
KENT:
Hello, Ellen.
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00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,740
Hi, Rusty.
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00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:23,368
And Audrey.
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00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,047
Well, Clark...
33
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:39,301
...you've won some fantastic prizes.
34
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,595
You wanna keep them...
35
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,473
...or you wanna risk everything
and be a pig?
36
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,309
AUDlENCE [CHANTING]:
Be a pig. Be a pig.
37
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,270
-Be a pig. Be a pig.
-Oh, boy.
38
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:54,775
Clark, let's just keep what we have.
I love the Señor Cappuccino.
39
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:57,569
Dad, don't do it.
Nobody ever wins the grand prize.
40
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,739
Kent, we've decided.
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00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,908
Oink, oink. We'll be pigs.
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00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,285
Aah! No!
43
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:08,080
So long, motorcycle.
44
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,832
Well, you're very brave. I wish you luck.
45
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,919
And now, a fantastic surprise.
46
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:18,257
Back by popular demand,
the all-time winningest family...
47
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,301
...in the history of Pig in a Poke,
the Froegers.
48
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:27,724
ELLEN: The Froegers. Clark, no one's
ever beaten the Froegers.
49
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,769
KENT: Now, Mr. Froeger, why don't
you tell us about yourselves.
50
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:34,356
I won my Nobel Prize in 1 967.
51
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,067
My wife won hers in 1 970.
52
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:40,404
Our son, Moe, has just been elected
to the board of Microtech...
53
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,864
...that's a computer software corporation.
54
00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:45,951
And our daughter, Ruth,
she has just become...
55
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:50,455
...the youngest female ever to be
accepted at Harvard Law School.
56
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,040
Good luck to all of you.
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00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,751
Now, let's take a look
at our categories. Johnny....
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00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,586
ANNOUNCER:
"Pharmacology."
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00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,630
"American Explorers."
60
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,049
"Chronology of the Pharaohs."
61
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,843
"The Geography of the Brain."
62
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,930
And "History of Early
Hungarian Cabinetmaking."
63
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,640
-Not bad.
ANNOUNCER: Back to you, Kent.
64
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:12,561
Froegers, since you're the challengers,
you get to pick first category.
65
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:13,937
The one about Hungarians.
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00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,939
Nobody knows anything
about Hungarians.
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00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:19,276
Well, l don't know. Kent, we'd like
"The Geography of the Brain."
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00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,695
The question is:
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00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:26,450
"What are the pyramidal tracts?"
70
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,788
Five seconds.
71
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,208
I believe the pyramidal tracts
are a housing development...
72
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,877
...outside of Cairo.
73
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:38,170
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
74
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,463
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
75
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,673
Too bad.
76
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,216
[MUMBLlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY]
77
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,718
Froegers, quickly.
78
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,596
You are the champions
if you get the correct answer.
79
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,307
Kent, the pyramidal tracts...
80
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:54,102
...are a complex of multisynaptic
lower motor neurons...
81
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:57,397
...which interconnect the basal ganglia
with the reticular formation.
82
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:58,774
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
83
00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:01,068
I'm sorry, you said
"lower" motor neurons.
84
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,528
The correct answer
is upper motor neurons.
85
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,030
Upper. Upper.
86
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:08,116
KENT: Well, nobody wins.
-Still in it. Still in it.
87
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,035
Froegers, select another category.
88
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,496
MRS. FROEGER:
"Early Hungarian Cabinetmaking."
89
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:13,789
"Αmerican Explorers."
90
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:16,917
American Explorers. Griswalds.
91
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:20,462
In 1 804, an expedition explored an area...
92
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:24,132
...from the Louisiana Territory
to the Pacific Coast.
93
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,176
For the grand prize...
94
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,428
...what lieutenant...
95
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,138
...led that expedition?
96
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,849
-l give up.
-Wait a minute--
97
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:36,186
Quiet down. I think I got this one.
98
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,313
KENT:
Five seconds.
99
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,816
[MUMBLlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY]
100
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,819
-Come on, Dad.
-Time's up, Griswalds.
101
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:45,779
Do you have an answer?
102
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,781
-Clark.
-That's it.
103
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,658
Clark, of Lewis and Clark.
104
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,911
And the Griswalds
are our grand prize winners.
105
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,579
[ALL CHEERING]
106
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,418
-No, that was a mistake.
-No.
107
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,503
She doesn't know that. It was a mistake.
108
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:04,423
Come on out here.
109
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:23,442
ANNOUNCER: The Griswalds havejust
won a fabulous European vacation.
110
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,947
We'll fly the whole family
to London, England...
111
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:33,118
...where you'll start off on a two-week
vacation extravaganza...
112
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,619
...you'll never forget.
113
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:38,874
"On to Germany, where you'll enjoy
a fine meal at Dieter's on the Ruhr...
114
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:43,462
...and dance to the gay music of
Esther and the Black Forest Girls."
115
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,631
I tell you, this is gonna be
some vacation, huh, kids?
116
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,258
Yeah, Dad. Sure.
117
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,011
Come on, Rusty, give me a hand
and set the table.
118
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,597
Mom, why can't Audrey ever do it?
119
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:55,807
Because Audrey has company.
120
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,309
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
121
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,562
-Rusty, come on.
-Wait a minute.
122
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,024
ELLEN: Clark.
CLARK: Russ, obey your mother.
123
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,277
Jack, I can't stand the thought
of being away from you...
124
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,822
-...for a whole two weeks.
-Well, it'll be like before we met.
125
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,950
Before we met, my life was horrible
and meaningless...
126
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,244
...wasn't yours?
127
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:17,954
Yeah, sort of.
128
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:20,290
Okay.
129
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,502
Let's light them up.
130
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:31,676
Audrey, will you please eat something?
131
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,387
All right now, everybody.
Let's listen up here.
132
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:38,433
Let's take a look at the map,
go over our schedule here. Okay?
133
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,187
Now, the plane is gonna fly us
from Chicago to London.
134
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,272
RUSTY:
That's Madrid, Dad.
135
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,899
I think you're right, Russ.
136
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,318
This must be one
of those old medieval maps.
137
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:51,530
-Yeah, right.
-Dad, l've made a decision.
138
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:55,450
I can't leave Jack, and besides,
the food in Europe is fattening.
139
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,286
Yeah, and I like her thin.
She eats too much.
140
00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,789
Clark, why don't you and l just go alone?
141
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,375
It's obvious that the kids
don't even wanna go.
142
00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:05,001
CLARK:
Of course they wanna go.
143
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,671
We're a family.
We're going to Europe as a family.
144
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,424
-Don't we have a say in this?
-l think we should have a vote on it.
145
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,593
Okay, l can be big about this.
146
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,513
Form now on, we're a democracy.
Everybody gets a vote.
147
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,848
RUSTY:
Who's gonna be president?
148
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:22,310
All right, we'll vote on that.
We'll have a secret ballot here.
149
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,479
You write down your choice.
150
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,232
Give it to your mother.
151
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,109
Here you go, Russ.
152
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,405
This'll be for the president...
153
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,115
...of the Republic of Griswald.
154
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,453
All right, that's one for Clark.
155
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,416
One for Rusty.
156
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,253
One for Jack.
157
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:55,093
-One for Clark.
-Okay, that's two for Clark.
158
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,887
Now, as president
of the Griswald Republic...
159
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,639
...l move we go to Europe.
160
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,558
Jack, you wait here.
161
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,276
Oh, Clark. Oh, what are you doing?
162
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,029
CLARK: Just a little memento
before we go away, honey.
163
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:15,864
-l just got the kids.
-No, no, no.
164
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,949
I don't want anyone to see me like this.
165
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,368
Don't be silly. No one's gonna see you.
166
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,664
Honey, remember that song you did
in college in that musical...
167
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,666
...that dance thing?
168
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:30,211
No. I'm not gonna do that.
No, Clark, l'm not doing that. No.
169
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,172
Honey, you know l'm gonna erase this.
170
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,050
-Really?
-Yeah. Come on.
171
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,010
What do you say?
172
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,929
Okay, okay. You go over here.
173
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:46,561
I'm ready, honey. Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay.
174
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,899
[SINGlNG]
The minute you walked in the joint
175
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:56,446
I could see you were
A man of distinction
176
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:59,616
A real big spender
177
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,993
Good-looking
178
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,287
So refined
179
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:10,001
Wouldn't you like to know
What's going on in my mind?
180
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:14,172
So let me get right to the point
181
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:21,971
I don't pop my cork
For every guy I see
182
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,600
Hey, big spender
183
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:34,234
Spend
A little time with me
184
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,361
[SCΑTTlNG]
185
00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:42,617
Don't stop, honey.
186
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:50,166
So sexy. l love you.
187
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,670
[MOANlNG]
188
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:10,186
Jeez, this Pig in a Poke itinerary
is just great.
189
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:12,856
You know they've worked it out
to the exact minute?
190
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,275
-We won't miss a thing, honey.
-Clark...
191
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,861
...why don't we just
forget their itinerary...
192
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:21,156
...and play it by ear? Like normal people.
193
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:24,743
Honey, we're not normal people.
We're the Griswalds.
194
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,119
[CHUCKLlNG]
195
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,332
Oh, kids. l've saved
the big surprise for last.
196
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,627
-We're turning around and going home?
-No, no, Audrey.
197
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:37,130
We're visiting my relatives in Germany.
198
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:39,090
Not if we don't vote for it.
199
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,010
-You'll vote for it, Russ.
-Why should l?
200
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:45,597
Because I just raised
your allowance, that's why.
201
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,808
I think I'm gonna like
this democracy stuff.
202
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,521
-Would you like something to drink?
-You want something?
203
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,024
-No. No, thank you.
-l'll have a Coke.
204
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,026
Do you want that in the can?
205
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,529
No, I'll have it right here.
206
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,578
Honey, push "French."
207
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:12,332
-Give me a French word.
-Soufflè.
208
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,209
Soufflè. All right.
209
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,211
Push "English."
210
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:20,548
Okay, instant translation.
"Soufflè" means...
211
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:22,759
...soufflè.
212
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,345
It's gotta mean something else.
Wait a minute.
213
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,226
[YAWNlNG]
214
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:34,771
CONSUL:
Lord and Lady Poncenby Smythe.
215
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,232
-Lady Amelia Spicer...
-Very nice.
216
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,776
...and the Baron von Richtshofen.
217
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:42,821
[SIGHlNG]
218
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,575
CONSUL:
Mr. and Mrs. Clark and Ellen Griswald.
219
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:50,495
PRlNCESS: Oh, he came.
PRlNCE: Marvelous.
220
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,996
QUEEN:
The Griswalds.
221
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,834
-Wonderful.
-Yes.
222
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,962
Say, Chuck, how are you?
223
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:02,632
PRlNCE: Good to see you.
-You look beautiful. Di.
224
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,301
CLARK: Great to see you.
-You know my son, Charles...
225
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:08,179
-...and Lady Diana.
-This is my wife, Ellen.
226
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,598
-Hello. Wonderful to see you.
-Di.
227
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,350
-How are you?
-Clark, I do hope...
228
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,143
...we can have the first dance.
229
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,646
There you go again, Di. Listen.
230
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,691
As you well know, the only princess
in my life is my wife.
231
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,110
She gets the first dance.
232
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,529
-Sorry.
-No, Clark. Wait.
233
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:27,699
-Sorry.
-Wait. Clark.
234
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,623
[CLASSlCAL MUSlC PLΑYING
ON HEADPHONES]
235
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,716
["SOME LlKE lT HOT" BY POWER
STATlON PLAYlNG ON HEADPHONES]
236
00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:08,990
Rusty.
237
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:46,921
No.
238
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,866
MAN [SINGlNG]: The hills are alive
239
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:19,037
With the sound of Griswalds
240
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:25,376
They should spin around
For a very long time
241
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:31,966
I'm feeling so high
That l just can't stand it
242
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:35,303
It's as though l've been here
243
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:40,850
For at least a week
244
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,527
CΑB DRlVER: Here we are, guv.
The Royal lmperial Windsor Hotel.
245
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,409
CLARK:
It's all right.
246
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:00,995
You want me to give you
a hand with that?
247
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,914
Think you can manage--? Ow!
248
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:06,375
CLARK: Tell you what,
you can just get that stuff in.
249
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,336
-And I'll....
RUSTY: Come on, Mom.
250
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,756
Carry that, and I'll get the luggage.
Russ, we could use your help.
251
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,718
-l've got these bags.
-l just hope you can, sir.
252
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,845
Sure you don't want me to help?
253
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,348
This one's stuck. There, l got it.
254
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,350
-Okay, Russ?
RUSTY: Yeah, Dad. l got it.
255
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,727
CLARK: Ellen, do you have any money?
ELLEN: I've got it.
256
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,771
CLARK: Okay, would you pay?
ELLEN: No problem.
257
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,566
MAN [ON TV]: Camembert cheese
is also produced on a large scale.
258
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:34,362
And molded by the thousands
in giant factories.
259
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,117
But historic places like the Abby of--
260
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,120
Hello?
261
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,374
MAN [ON TV]:
Farmhouse Camembert.
262
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,336
Top of the evening.
I'm Clark W. Griswald.
263
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,630
We're from the
United States of America...
264
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,633
...and l believe
we have reservations for four.
265
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,932
No, you're scuppered, mate.
It's all gone reels of cotton.
266
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,433
Place is full of macaroons.
267
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,311
I could get on the dog and bone
to my mate Jimmy the Spiv...
268
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,606
-...down Whitechapel way.
-Dad, he's speaking English.
269
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,109
Yeah, l know.
270
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,945
We got this from the Pig in a Poke show.
271
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,323
They said there'd be rooms for four
and a rental car for us.
272
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,409
We're the grand-prize winners.
273
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,704
-Oink! Oink! Oink! We'll be pigs.
-We're pigs.
274
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,290
Oh, the Yanks. Yeah.
275
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,292
Yeah, follow me.
276
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,671
You got anybody
to help with the luggage?
277
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,841
Oh, sure. Mom.
278
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,302
No, no, no. Please, really, no.
279
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,804
Kids, come on. Help me out,
will you? Please sit.
280
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:44,682
I mean, this is ridiculous.
281
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,686
ELLEN: "Sixty-five rooms tastefully
decorated, all with private bathroom...
282
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:52,648
...and shower, color television, radio and
telephone. Deluxe accommodations...
283
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:55,776
...at the sumptuous
Royal lmperial Windsor Αrms...
284
00:19:55,944 --> 00:20:00,031
...combines old-world charm
and modern convenience."
285
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,033
Clark. Does this look like...
286
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,577
-...the room in the brochure?
-Well, no. They....
287
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,954
They shot this picture
from another angle.
288
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,207
Or repainted. It's very quaint. l like it.
289
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:12,877
Well, l'm sure it'll look much better
after I've had a hot bath.
290
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:18,299
Well, the bed's nice and soft.
291
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:23,763
Clark, there's no bathroom.
292
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,349
Of course there's a bathroom.
293
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,602
Europeans go to the bathroom,
don't they?
294
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,901
Maybe they don't.
295
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,152
[CHUCKLlNG]
296
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,238
MAN [ON TV]:
Cheeses come in a great vari--
297
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:43,908
I think we better call the front desk.
Something's wrong with this thing.
298
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,410
We've only got four channels
and no MTV.
299
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:50,498
-l think that's all there are, Russ.
-No.
300
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,209
MAN [ON TV]:
Cheeses-- Cheeses--
301
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,379
No. No.
302
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,424
Just think of it,
shopping on Bond Street...
303
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,928
...bobbies, fish and chips, Big Ben.
304
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,055
Shopping on Carnaby Street.
305
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,516
It's gonna be so romantic.
306
00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:10,559
[CLARK WHISTLlNG]
307
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:23,781
[MAN WHISTLlNG]
308
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,252
ELLEN:
You know, I have to warn you.
309
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,338
I'm feeling very naughty tonight.
310
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,551
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
311
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:46,554
Sorry. Congratulations.
312
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:51,767
One, two, three. One, two, three.
313
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,484
-What can l do for you?
-l wanna leave a wake-up call...
314
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,987
...for 7 a.m., if you please. Good night.
315
00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:14,123
CLARK: You're in bed already.
I left a wake-up call, honey.
316
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,375
Get an early start in the morning.
317
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:27,970
Love you, love you.
318
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,806
I've been waiting for this.
319
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:33,309
I can't believe we're alone at last.
320
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,770
Just you and me.
321
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,275
I'm so horny.
322
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:47,114
And these bubbles.
323
00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:49,116
They make me feel so....
324
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:52,119
You know, I feel like....
325
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,121
You know.
326
00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:57,208
Ellen?
327
00:22:58,293 --> 00:23:01,128
When did you stop
shaving your legs, honey?
328
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:06,884
Why don't you just jump in here with me?
329
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,012
[ELLEN HUMMlNG & MAN WHlSTLlNG]
330
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:16,769
[ELLEN GASPS]
331
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,649
I think I made a mistake. Sorry.
332
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,776
-ls my wife in here?
-No.
333
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:26,946
I got so confused with all
the numerous doors in the hotel.
334
00:23:27,155 --> 00:23:28,781
I guess this happens all the time.
335
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,658
-No.
-No?
336
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,744
Could you unlock your legs
from my leg, please?
337
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,664
-No.
-My right leg is asleep.
338
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,917
If l could just-- Oh, no.
Thank you, really. Please don't.
339
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,003
WOMAN: lt's hot in here, is it?
-l gotta get-- It's hot, yeah.
340
00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:45,798
Yeah, really hot.
If l could just undo that--
341
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:49,176
I've got a mild case of herpes,
easier if I got out.
342
00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:51,011
WOMAN: Αwful for you.
-Let me just check--
343
00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:53,556
-l'll get a wake-up call first.
-Just check it?
344
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:55,683
Clark, you won't believe what happened.
345
00:23:55,851 --> 00:23:59,103
-l was in the bathroom, in the tub.
-l've been looking for our room.
346
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,272
-This guy came in--
-l go into this lady's room--
347
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,315
[BOTH TALKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY]
348
00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:05,860
-l don't even know where our room is.
-lt's right here.
349
00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:08,654
For God's sake, they don't
even put numbers on the door.
350
00:24:10,198 --> 00:24:12,825
CLARK: Here it is, kids.
Our English transportation.
351
00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:14,493
Now we're gonna have some fun.
352
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,250
-Where's the wheel?
RUSTY: Other side, Dad.
353
00:24:46,776 --> 00:24:48,027
[HORN HONKS]
354
00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:51,280
Clark, you're driving
on the wrong side of the road.
355
00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:54,241
I realize that, honey.
I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
356
00:24:54,409 --> 00:24:56,118
[HORNS HONKING]
357
00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:10,257
Boy, l'm sorry.
358
00:25:10,425 --> 00:25:12,301
No trouble. Dear chap, don't mention it.
359
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:16,430
I've had this bump for ages. Now,
I've got an excuse to get it fixed.
360
00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:19,141
-Listen, l'm fully covered--
-No, no, no.
361
00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:21,644
I should be the one who's thanking you.
362
00:25:21,811 --> 00:25:23,562
Well, of course. Thank you.
363
00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:25,773
-Here we go.
-No.
364
00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:27,274
-Yours.
-Good.
365
00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:29,777
-Very sorry, again.
-No. No, problem.
366
00:25:32,447 --> 00:25:34,573
God, he was nice.
367
00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:39,828
It's not bad in England, huh?
368
00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:41,914
God, I must say...
369
00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:44,083
...the English are certainly....
370
00:25:53,677 --> 00:25:56,220
We seem to have
run into a bit of trouble, what.
371
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:58,847
-Oh, rotten luck.
-l'm really sorry. l'm trying...
372
00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:00,516
...to get us back to our hotel.
373
00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:03,394
An Αmerican. Delighted to meet you.
374
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,896
-Thank you.
-l hope you're enjoying our country.
375
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,315
Well, we are. lf I get the driving straight--
376
00:26:08,483 --> 00:26:11,318
Don't worry about a thing like this.
No trouble at all.
377
00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:14,780
I mean, after all, I was driving
on the right side of the road.
378
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:16,782
Which is the left side of the road.
379
00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:19,493
That's the whole problem.
380
00:26:19,661 --> 00:26:21,704
-Listen, let me get this for you.
-Oh, no.
381
00:26:21,871 --> 00:26:24,290
The least l can do is get it back
on your car for you.
382
00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:27,668
You keep that. Take it back
to New York as a memento, what.
383
00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,628
Thank you. That's very kind of you.
384
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:32,381
Honey, here's another one. Thank you.
385
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:34,425
Well, have a good day.
386
00:26:39,639 --> 00:26:42,641
-So long. Thanks again.
ELLEN: Bye-bye.
387
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:46,979
I think I got the hang of it now.
388
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:50,024
All you have to do is just stay
on the right side--
389
00:26:51,484 --> 00:26:52,818
ELLEN:
Oh, please.
390
00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:55,279
-Oh, please let me help you.
-ls he all right?
391
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,865
Oh, no. No problem. No problem, squire.
392
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:01,285
No harm done. This doesn't--
Doesn't hurt much at all.
393
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:02,870
Let me pay for the damage.
394
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,205
Good heavens, no. No need for money.
395
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:06,707
-No, no.
-Are you sure?
396
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:09,793
Oh, yes. Be perfectly all right.
397
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:12,254
Can l get you some help?
I can get to a phone.
398
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:14,381
MAN: Help? No, no, no.
-Maybe he knows...
399
00:27:14,549 --> 00:27:15,883
...how to get to the hotel.
400
00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:18,802
I hate to bother you,
but we're from the United States.
401
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:20,971
We're at the
Royal lmperial Windsor Αrms.
402
00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:24,224
Royal lmperial Windsor. Very nice hotel.
403
00:27:24,434 --> 00:27:26,477
Well, we like it. It's a little small.
404
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:29,188
Well, you go back
the way you came...
405
00:27:29,397 --> 00:27:32,608
-...and you just keep going to--
-Oh, my God.
406
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:35,402
You got a bad cut.
We better get you to the hospital.
407
00:27:35,570 --> 00:27:37,529
-lt's just a flesh wound.
-Are you sure?
408
00:27:37,697 --> 00:27:39,990
Nothing to write home about.
No need to bother.
409
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,993
-Did you say left or right up there?
-Just a left, yeah. Ow!
410
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:45,871
-Maybe it's broken.
-Oh, no, no, no.
411
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:48,207
It's just a leg. l've got another one.
412
00:27:48,416 --> 00:27:51,460
Yeah, no, l'll--
I'll just pop into the chemist's.
413
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:53,545
Be right as rain in the morning.
414
00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:56,465
-The final isn't till Sunday.
-Oh, good. Well, then.
415
00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:59,176
Oh, sorry to bother you--
416
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,428
Haven't seen a bike
around here, have you?
417
00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:03,972
It's right under the car.
Let me get it for you.
418
00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:07,142
The tire isn't flat
so we're in good shape.
419
00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:10,104
Thanks for the directions,
and l'm sorry what happened.
420
00:28:10,271 --> 00:28:12,106
-You'll be all right?
-Thank you. Sure.
421
00:28:12,273 --> 00:28:14,108
-Okay. Drive carefully.
-Thank you.
422
00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:16,568
-Have a nice day.
-Yeah, Bye.
423
00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:22,199
CLARK: l guess what we do is
just drive around this circle here.
424
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:25,285
It should be the second left exit.
There's the hotel over--
425
00:28:25,453 --> 00:28:28,706
Hey, look, kids. There's Big Ben.
And there's Parliament.
426
00:28:32,293 --> 00:28:34,753
-There it is, there it is.
-l know.
427
00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:38,090
I can't seem to get over
to the left, honey. I'll try next time.
428
00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:41,093
Sorry. We'll get out
of this jam in a minute.
429
00:28:41,302 --> 00:28:44,471
Kids, Big Ben, Parliament again.
430
00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:50,310
[HORN HONKlNG]
431
00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:52,396
Kids.
432
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:54,481
-We know. Big Ben.
-We know. Big Ben.
433
00:28:54,649 --> 00:28:55,816
Parliament.
434
00:28:57,026 --> 00:28:58,235
[HORN HONKS]
435
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:02,990
ELLEN: Clark.
-That son of a bitch.
436
00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:05,117
Look, kids. Forget it.
437
00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:07,619
[CLOCK CHIMlNG]
438
00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:10,873
[LΑUGHlNG]
439
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,583
This is absurd....
440
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:16,295
It's amazing. l cannot get left.
441
00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:20,299
There's Big Ben, kids, Parliament.
442
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,511
I don't know....
443
00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:33,103
RUSTY [SlNGlNG]:
When it's time to relax
444
00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:36,273
One thing stands clear
445
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:39,193
AUDREY [SINGlNG]:
Beer after beer
446
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,612
RUSTY [SlNGlNG]:
If you got the time
447
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:44,907
We got the beer
448
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:47,242
AUDREY [SINGlNG]:
Reach out
449
00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:49,745
Reach out and touch someone
450
00:29:50,538 --> 00:29:51,789
Reach out
451
00:29:52,248 --> 00:29:54,124
Call up and just say hi
452
00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:55,417
[CRYING]
453
00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:57,044
What's the matter, Audrey?
454
00:29:57,212 --> 00:30:01,173
Rusty, l can't stand it.
I'll never make it through two weeks.
455
00:30:01,341 --> 00:30:03,258
-Two weeks is nothing.
-Oh, yeah?
456
00:30:03,426 --> 00:30:07,262
Well, it's 14 times as long
as yesterday, and yesterday lasted...
457
00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:09,640
...an eternity.
458
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,433
Why don't you call him.
459
00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:13,936
-Are you crazy?
-Why? What could happen?
460
00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:17,147
Dad could rip my tongue out, that's what.
461
00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:20,567
I bet he wouldn't even notice it
if you kept it short.
462
00:30:20,735 --> 00:30:24,571
Okay, look. l'll just say hello
and goodbye. Short, short.
463
00:30:25,698 --> 00:30:28,492
I wonder if anything's good on TV.
464
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:33,330
Should I watch cheese or snow?
465
00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:36,375
JACK: Hello?
-Hello, Jack?
466
00:30:36,584 --> 00:30:39,711
-Hey, Aud.
-Oh, God, Jack, l miss you so much.
467
00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:41,630
-Do you miss me?
-Oh, yeah.
468
00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:43,340
-Really?
-Yeah.
469
00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:45,592
Well, l miss you so much it hurts.
470
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,094
-You do?
-Yeah.
471
00:30:47,262 --> 00:30:48,971
-Look, I gotta go.
-What?
472
00:30:49,138 --> 00:30:51,723
-l gotta eat.
-Oh, your mom's calling you to dinner?
473
00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:53,433
Okay, l'll hold.
474
00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:57,104
RUSTY:
Dad, can we stop? l'm hungry.
475
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:59,189
AUDREY:
Yeah, Dad. Rusty's hungry.
476
00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,358
Not now, kids.
We got a schedule to keep.
477
00:31:12,287 --> 00:31:15,789
That's it. That's it. That's the way
I want my hair cut, Dad.
478
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,458
CLARK: Russ, you don't wanna
look like a rooster, do you?
479
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:20,586
Hey, there's Buckingham Palace, kids.
480
00:31:20,753 --> 00:31:22,671
That's where the queen lives and works.
481
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,631
AUDREY:
Works? Well, what does she do, Dad?
482
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:26,925
CLARK:
She cleans and vacuums.
483
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,511
[CLEARS THROAT]
484
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:31,889
[BELL RINGS]
485
00:31:32,807 --> 00:31:35,475
-We'd like to check out, please.
-Oh, yeah.
486
00:31:35,643 --> 00:31:37,144
Now, Mr....
487
00:31:37,312 --> 00:31:40,981
Mr. Greaseball.
I'll just tally up your bill for you.
488
00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:43,859
Clark, do you think we'll have time
to see Stonehenge?
489
00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:46,987
There's no problem. I've calculated
distance and driving time.
490
00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:49,573
If we don't stop for lunch,
we'll make it to Paris.
491
00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,242
I'm so sick of English food.
I feel like a blimp.
492
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:54,161
ELLEN:
You look fine.
493
00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:58,081
Don't l just have to sign?
The Pig in a Poke people take care of it.
494
00:31:58,291 --> 00:32:01,251
-Doesn't include the phone bill.
ELLEN: Well, that's no problem...
495
00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:03,712
...we just made a couple local calls.
496
00:32:05,089 --> 00:32:07,341
Right, that'll be...
497
00:32:08,259 --> 00:32:10,260
...253 Αmerican dollars.
498
00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:14,181
-This must be some mistake.
ELLEN: How could that be?
499
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:19,061
Who the hell called Chicago?
500
00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:23,190
Audrey!
501
00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:26,568
[AUDREY SOBBlNG]
502
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:28,987
Oh, now, Audrey.
503
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:32,240
-Your father didn't mean what he said.
-Yes, he did.
504
00:32:32,408 --> 00:32:35,786
No, no. Not really, honey.
He has nothing against Jack.
505
00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:38,872
He's not really gonna cut off his balls.
506
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,624
Are you, Clark?
507
00:32:43,002 --> 00:32:45,212
-Clark.
-Okay, I won't.
508
00:32:46,005 --> 00:32:48,799
Look, why don't we just relax
and enjoy the countryside?
509
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:52,219
CLARK:
Yeah, this country's eons old, kids.
510
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:54,221
That's centuries to you and me.
511
00:32:54,430 --> 00:32:56,264
Charming, isn't it?
512
00:32:56,557 --> 00:32:58,266
It looks like Massachusetts.
513
00:32:58,434 --> 00:33:00,102
Well, that almost stands to reason.
514
00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:03,647
The English settled Massachusetts.
The old Pilgrims.
515
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:07,275
Plymouth Rock.
That's where it all started.
516
00:33:07,443 --> 00:33:10,278
And speaking of rocks:
517
00:33:11,906 --> 00:33:14,658
See that? That's Stonehenge.
Fantastic, huh?
518
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,668
What the hell is this?
519
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:27,254
Nobody knows for sure.
Some think it's a calendar.
520
00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:29,339
Others think it's an astronomers' tool.
521
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:32,342
Some people think this was built
by men from outer space.
522
00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:35,762
Oh, Clark. The consensus is that
it's an ancient timepiece...
523
00:33:35,930 --> 00:33:39,349
-...built by the ancient Druids.
-Whatever, it's been here a long time.
524
00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:42,394
AUDREY: Since 2000 years before Christ.
-Yeah.
525
00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:45,856
It's bound to be here 1 000 more.
526
00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:47,983
-Russ.
-Yeah.
527
00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:51,153
Oh, there you are.
Stand over there for a sec, will you.
528
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,572
Act like you're setting your watch.
529
00:33:53,781 --> 00:33:57,451
This must be
where they sacrificed virgins.
530
00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:00,495
God, I miss Jack.
531
00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:04,082
We've gotta go
if we wanna catch that plane.
532
00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:06,334
You're right, honey.
533
00:34:06,961 --> 00:34:08,295
Let's go, Russ.
534
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:11,465
Come on.
535
00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:18,847
Take a last look, kids...
536
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:23,602
...at one of man's most curious creations.
537
00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:27,314
Built to stand the test of time
and the elements...
538
00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:30,400
...war, you name it.
539
00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:35,739
A thing of glory
for a million future generations to see.
540
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:38,366
And we were here.
541
00:34:54,884 --> 00:34:56,134
[SCREAMlNG]
542
00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:07,979
CLARK:
Gay Paris.
543
00:35:08,147 --> 00:35:10,190
The City of Lights.
544
00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:12,984
This is the famous Left Bank, kids.
545
00:35:13,152 --> 00:35:15,612
I bet you can't guess
what's on the other side.
546
00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:17,906
The Bank of America.
547
00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:26,373
Okay, everybody get closer
to the fountain.
548
00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,708
Dad, we can't get any closer.
549
00:35:28,876 --> 00:35:31,169
-We're gonna get all wet.
-lt'll be a good shot.
550
00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:34,631
-You'll remember it forever.
-The Griswalds in front of a fountain.
551
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:36,133
Major entertainment.
552
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:38,593
Russ, get in the middle.
553
00:35:38,761 --> 00:35:41,221
Clark, why don't you let me take it?
554
00:35:41,389 --> 00:35:43,390
You haven't been in any of them.
555
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:46,017
Okay, l got a good idea.
556
00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:47,435
[SPEΑKING FRENCH]
557
00:35:48,771 --> 00:35:52,065
Clark Griswald, United States of America.
558
00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:55,026
My family and l--
Could you take a picture of us?
559
00:35:55,194 --> 00:35:56,444
[MAN SPEAKlNG FRENCH]
560
00:35:57,071 --> 00:35:58,947
Could you photograph us?
561
00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:00,907
Photo, yes. Four of us.
562
00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:02,534
Yeah?
563
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,919
CLARK:
Okay, Russ, get over here.
564
00:36:13,087 --> 00:36:16,006
There you go. Now, you two.
565
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:19,009
-Sorry.
AUDREY: Sorry.
566
00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:22,637
Okay.
567
00:36:23,055 --> 00:36:24,431
[SPEΑKING FRENCH]
568
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:27,350
Cheese.
569
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,436
-Cheese.
-Cheese.
570
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,946
Yeah, let's take our shoes off
and get in the water.
571
00:36:40,114 --> 00:36:43,450
-Oh, hey.
-Yeah, okay. lt's fun.
572
00:36:57,548 --> 00:36:58,673
[SCREAMS]
573
00:36:58,841 --> 00:37:00,634
Cold.
574
00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:10,101
CLARK:
Hey.
575
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:13,563
-Hey!
-Clark.
576
00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:16,233
Clark, listen, there isn't anything
on that tape...
577
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,777
-...that shouldn't be there?
-They took my camera.
578
00:37:18,986 --> 00:37:21,446
Clark. There isn't anything on that tape...
579
00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:23,281
...that shouldn't be there? Remember the:
580
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:24,616
[SCΑTTlNG]
581
00:37:24,784 --> 00:37:27,202
That's gone, right? You erased it?
582
00:37:27,370 --> 00:37:29,246
Yeah. l erased that, honey.
583
00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:33,291
MAN: We'll check in
and come back for the cases.
584
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:45,762
CLARK:
Here we are, kids. Chez Griswald.
585
00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:49,599
We have a reservation
for the honeymoon suite.
586
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:52,227
Mr. and Mrs. Garland.
587
00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:58,900
ELLEN: Oh, Clark, look.
They must be honeymooners.
588
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:01,111
Either that or Siamese twins.
589
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,113
That's how Jack kisses.
590
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:05,323
Jack, Jack, Jack.
591
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:07,033
WOMAN: Hi.
MAN: Hi.
592
00:38:07,201 --> 00:38:09,160
WOMAN: Hey, are you from America?
-Yeah.
593
00:38:09,328 --> 00:38:12,330
-We're from Chicago.
-Chicago, wow. We're from Αkron.
594
00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,541
Well, we're the Griswalds. l'm Clark...
595
00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:17,252
...and this is my wife, Ellen.
596
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:20,547
Of course, my daughter is
Audrey, and Rusty.
597
00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:26,136
You're in room 714. And please hurry.
598
00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:28,763
-See you.
-Yeah.
599
00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:31,474
I guess it's true. Paris really is for lovers.
600
00:38:32,476 --> 00:38:33,935
May I help you?
601
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:35,562
We're the Clark W. Griswalds.
602
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:38,148
We have a reservation for two chambres.
603
00:38:38,316 --> 00:38:40,608
We're the grand prize
Pig in a Poke winners. Oink, oink.
604
00:38:40,776 --> 00:38:43,570
-Oink, oink.
-Can l see your passports?
605
00:38:43,779 --> 00:38:45,905
Yeah, oh, of course.
606
00:38:46,282 --> 00:38:48,658
I guess I sign this, then.
607
00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:50,827
I just sign Griswald, right? First....
608
00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:53,079
No, wait. l gotta put Clark.
609
00:38:53,247 --> 00:38:54,873
I put-- l put Clark.
610
00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:58,084
ELLEN:
We don't really speak French.
611
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,463
IN FRENCH:
612
00:39:04,967 --> 00:39:06,843
This is our first....
613
00:39:11,515 --> 00:39:14,726
IN FRENCH:
614
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,354
CLARK: Honey, what do you think?
Tell the truth.
615
00:39:19,106 --> 00:39:21,608
I guess I'll go get the kids.
616
00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:24,986
Oh, good idea. We'll get a move on.
617
00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:28,490
[WHlSTLlNG]
618
00:39:37,291 --> 00:39:40,502
-Where's Dad?
CLARK: l'm right here.
619
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:43,963
Just looking for the Bible. There it is.
620
00:39:44,131 --> 00:39:46,633
Everybody ready?
We got a schedule to keep.
621
00:39:46,842 --> 00:39:49,219
Well, l vote we don't see
any more museums today.
622
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:51,554
AUDREY: And l vote we don't
get anything else to eat.
623
00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:54,724
What's this? Do l detect
a note of dissension here?
624
00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:57,143
Yeah, Dad. Paris sucks.
625
00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:58,770
Everybody's so rude.
626
00:39:58,979 --> 00:40:01,314
Come on, kids. We're the visitors here.
627
00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:03,775
This isn't Wally World, it's a country.
628
00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:06,653
Come on, we're the ambassadors
of Αmerica here.
629
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:10,281
If we wanna be accepted, we gotta
try to fit in, speak the language...
630
00:40:10,449 --> 00:40:14,369
...wear French clothes.
That's why I got us all berets.
631
00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,496
Here we are, Ellen.
632
00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:18,373
Russ.
633
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:23,169
RUSTY:
Oh, come on, Dad.
634
00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:25,296
This is really rank.
635
00:40:26,298 --> 00:40:29,175
Come on now, Russ. Loosen up.
636
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,220
You don't wanna look
like a tourist, do you?
637
00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:35,932
All the French wear these.
It's the national hat, fella.
638
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:38,977
Well, l'm not gonna wear it.
639
00:40:39,186 --> 00:40:42,689
It looks stupid.
No girl will wanna talk to me.
640
00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:45,442
Well, then l guess they'll all talk to me.
641
00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:47,610
I vote for berets.
642
00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:50,738
-l second the motion.
-Berets.
643
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:53,575
That's 3 to 1 . You lose, fella.
644
00:40:53,909 --> 00:40:55,201
AUDREY:
Sweet.
645
00:40:55,369 --> 00:40:57,787
CLARK:
Real sweet. Oh, there you are.
646
00:41:02,751 --> 00:41:06,087
Now, listen, kids. France
is world famous for its cuisine...
647
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:09,591
...so anything's gonna be great.
You order what you want.
648
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:11,759
"Garconi."
649
00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,014
[SPEΑKING FRENCH]
650
00:41:18,434 --> 00:41:19,517
IN FRENCH:
651
00:41:24,565 --> 00:41:26,232
Okay.
652
00:41:30,070 --> 00:41:32,071
Desire.... They....
653
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,532
Hamburger and frite.
654
00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:42,665
Coca-cola for the les infants.
655
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:47,086
And, oh....
656
00:41:47,463 --> 00:41:48,630
[SPEΑKING FRENCH]
657
00:41:58,849 --> 00:42:01,351
-Now, you want the soufflè?
-Soufflè, soufflè.
658
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,520
My femme would like the--
659
00:42:03,812 --> 00:42:04,979
[SPEΑKING FRENCH]
660
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,317
I'll have the voil, or the veal, voil.
661
00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,821
Excellent.
662
00:42:14,448 --> 00:42:15,823
Good choice.
663
00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:17,659
"Excellente."
664
00:42:22,331 --> 00:42:23,706
Just a little brie, yeah.
665
00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:25,500
And....
666
00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:27,210
Well, we'll get that later.
667
00:42:32,007 --> 00:42:33,883
And that's about it.
668
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:37,804
Where would you find a waiter
like that in the U.S.?
669
00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:40,431
Honey, speak the language...
670
00:42:40,599 --> 00:42:43,393
...they're gonna be very nice. Just try.
671
00:42:43,561 --> 00:42:45,019
[SPEΑKS FRENCH]
672
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:07,458
Well, there she is, kids. The Eiffel Tower.
673
00:43:07,668 --> 00:43:10,670
Nine hundred and twenty-one feet
of historic landmark.
674
00:43:10,838 --> 00:43:12,714
That's more than an acre to you and me.
675
00:43:12,881 --> 00:43:14,549
ELLEN:
Did you know that at one time...
676
00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:16,968
...this was the world's largest
free-standing structure?
677
00:43:17,136 --> 00:43:18,386
[GlRLS SPEΑKING FRENCH]
678
00:43:29,231 --> 00:43:31,733
-Let's go up to the top.
CLARK: Yeah, come on, let's go.
679
00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:40,158
Oh, God. lt's magnificent.
680
00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:41,659
[SINGlNG lN FRENCH]
681
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:45,204
It's breathtaking, isn't it?
682
00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:49,000
Sparky...
683
00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:52,879
...l'm glad we decided to be pigs.
684
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:58,259
-Thank your father, kids.
BOTH: Thanks, Dad.
685
00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:00,178
Okay.
686
00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:03,097
It's so beautiful, I feel so....
687
00:44:03,390 --> 00:44:07,310
I feel my juices are just--
You know, it makes me so....
688
00:44:07,728 --> 00:44:10,480
I wanna write, I wanna paint, l wanna...
689
00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:13,274
...sculpt something massive. l wanna....
690
00:44:13,442 --> 00:44:15,777
I got a creative urge to....
691
00:44:17,237 --> 00:44:19,906
I wonder if there's a men's room
around here, honey.
692
00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:25,495
Look at those things, Mom.
693
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:27,580
ELLEN:
Oh, let's go get our picture taken.
694
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:29,624
Oh, no. They're silly.
695
00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:33,002
-Come on. I'll buy one for Jack.
-Okay.
696
00:44:44,556 --> 00:44:46,516
[GlRLS GlGGLING]
697
00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:10,123
[BARKING]
698
00:45:13,752 --> 00:45:15,795
"Rusty."
699
00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:29,642
Russ, what's wrong?
700
00:45:30,811 --> 00:45:34,856
I feel like an idiot because of this
stupid hat you made me wear.
701
00:45:35,023 --> 00:45:36,733
Russ.
702
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,485
Come here a minute. l wanna talk to you.
703
00:45:39,987 --> 00:45:43,197
A couple of things here. First of all,
you're never an idiot, okay?
704
00:45:43,365 --> 00:45:45,658
You're a Griswald. You understand that?
705
00:45:46,243 --> 00:45:49,495
-Yeah.
-All right. Second of all, Russ...
706
00:45:49,663 --> 00:45:51,998
...you know l'd never do
anything to injure you.
707
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:55,543
You know I'd never do anything
to hurt my opinion of myself, right?
708
00:45:55,711 --> 00:45:57,920
-Yeah.
-So? If the beret bothers you...
709
00:45:58,088 --> 00:46:00,590
...it bothers me.
If it upsets you, it upsets me.
710
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:02,425
Okay?
711
00:46:04,511 --> 00:46:05,720
[DOG BARKlNG]
712
00:46:07,222 --> 00:46:08,514
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
713
00:46:14,021 --> 00:46:17,273
CLARK: How did you and Audrey
enjoy shopping today, honey?
714
00:46:17,441 --> 00:46:19,817
Wait till you see what I got.
715
00:46:21,528 --> 00:46:24,447
I got this because the saleslady
said it's a one-of-a-kind.
716
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:28,743
And l'll never find anything else like it
and l know it's really silly but....
717
00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:31,204
But l only got it for you.
718
00:46:32,289 --> 00:46:34,499
Oh, honey, l don't think...
719
00:46:34,666 --> 00:46:37,794
...l'd want the kids to see me
in something like this.
720
00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:40,296
Sparky?
721
00:46:40,464 --> 00:46:43,299
It's our first night in Paris.
Let's do something romantic.
722
00:46:43,550 --> 00:46:45,635
We are, honey.
I'm taking you out to dinner.
723
00:46:45,844 --> 00:46:47,178
Out?
724
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,014
I felt like staying in.
725
00:46:50,182 --> 00:46:53,726
I thought it would be really
nice to be alone.
726
00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:55,895
Honey.
727
00:46:57,940 --> 00:47:00,316
I could never go anywhere without you.
728
00:47:00,484 --> 00:47:02,360
Come on. Cheer up.
729
00:47:02,569 --> 00:47:04,487
I promised you a night on the town.
730
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:07,156
We'll go see some French culture.
You'll love it.
731
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,160
[MUSlC PLAYlNG]
732
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,189
Bravo.
733
00:47:40,649 --> 00:47:42,149
Encore.
734
00:47:42,317 --> 00:47:44,110
Clark.
735
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:47,029
WOMAN: Stand with your feet
hip-distance apart...
736
00:47:47,197 --> 00:47:49,824
...stomach pulled in, buttocks tight.
737
00:47:50,158 --> 00:47:52,118
We're gonna start with head rolls.
738
00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:56,372
To the right and back and left, forward...
739
00:47:56,623 --> 00:47:59,917
...head right, back, left, forward.
740
00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:02,169
Now, reverse and left...
741
00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,714
...back, right, forward.
742
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:08,050
Now shoulder lifts, right, lift and left.
743
00:48:08,218 --> 00:48:10,386
Isn't this great, honey?
744
00:48:11,513 --> 00:48:13,598
They've been doing this
for eons in France.
745
00:48:13,765 --> 00:48:15,516
This is real culture.
746
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:19,478
WOMAN: Exhale and raise them over your
head. Now reach with the right arm--
747
00:48:19,813 --> 00:48:22,899
Clark, could l have
the coat check, please?
748
00:48:23,066 --> 00:48:26,485
I think I've had enough
French culture for one evening.
749
00:48:26,653 --> 00:48:28,571
Yeah, sure, honey.
750
00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:34,201
-Look.
-l am looking.
751
00:48:34,369 --> 00:48:36,913
Look, back there.
752
00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:41,542
But it's just a hooker.
They're all over the place.
753
00:48:41,710 --> 00:48:43,836
Look who she's with.
754
00:48:50,802 --> 00:48:52,595
Russ?
755
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:56,474
No problem.
756
00:48:58,602 --> 00:49:01,187
CLARK:
Russell Griswald.
757
00:49:01,563 --> 00:49:03,522
My good man.
758
00:49:04,274 --> 00:49:06,359
-How'd you get in there?
-l paid and got in.
759
00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:08,611
-Where'd you get the money?
-l'm surprised at you.
760
00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:10,905
-l'm surprised at you, Dad.
-Don't talk back.
761
00:49:11,073 --> 00:49:12,448
And who was that cheap slut?
762
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:15,284
RUSTY: Don't call Cherie a slut.
ELLEN: I'm disappointed in you.
763
00:49:15,452 --> 00:49:17,662
RUSTY: Who says, "When in Rome,
do as the Romans do"?
764
00:49:17,829 --> 00:49:20,790
CLARK: l said Rome, not Paris.
This is Paris and you're drunk.
765
00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:30,216
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
766
00:49:50,028 --> 00:49:51,112
[SPEΑKING FRENCH]
767
00:49:55,617 --> 00:49:58,202
AUDREY: I don't care!
RUSTY: Let me have it for a while.
768
00:49:58,370 --> 00:50:00,371
AUDREY: No. Today's my turn.
-Give them to me.
769
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,123
-Give them to me.
-l told you no.
770
00:50:02,290 --> 00:50:05,668
-Give them to me.
-No, forget it. You always take them.
771
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:08,462
Oh, God. Look what you did to them.
772
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,423
I said, give them to me. They're mine.
773
00:50:10,590 --> 00:50:12,967
How many times do l have
to tell you they're mine?
774
00:50:13,135 --> 00:50:14,927
AUDREY: Okay.
-Come on, let's go.
775
00:50:20,392 --> 00:50:22,977
ELLEN:
Clark, Clark.
776
00:50:23,145 --> 00:50:27,148
Clark. Will you please slow down?
The kids are exhausted.
777
00:50:27,315 --> 00:50:30,526
It closes in 1 5 minutes. There are
1 00,000 works of art to see.
778
00:50:30,694 --> 00:50:32,319
Come on.
779
00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:37,825
Great. Are you happy, Dad? She's dead.
780
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:39,910
ELLEN:
Come on.
781
00:51:04,853 --> 00:51:07,021
Well, l must say,
I'm really proud of you guys.
782
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:09,148
We've seen about everything in Paris...
783
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:11,317
...and we're right back on schedule.
784
00:51:11,485 --> 00:51:14,361
Can't we slow down
a little bit, Clark? l'm exhausted.
785
00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:18,199
Well, we'll have a nice, relaxing time
with my relatives in Germany.
786
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:20,493
[GlGGLING]
787
00:51:22,829 --> 00:51:24,371
[CLARK SPEΑKS FRENCH]
788
00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:26,749
-Hi.
CLARK: You two enjoying Paris?
789
00:51:26,917 --> 00:51:28,501
-Great.
-Oh, yeah.
790
00:51:28,668 --> 00:51:31,045
Seen the Louvre yet?
791
00:51:31,213 --> 00:51:33,339
-No.
-Not yet.
792
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:35,883
-The Left Bank is charming.
-Oh, yeah?
793
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:37,760
We plan to go there.
794
00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:39,428
Been up to the Eiffel Tower?
795
00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:42,264
Nope. But it's on our list.
796
00:51:42,682 --> 00:51:45,726
-Well, have a good time.
BOTH: We will.
797
00:51:45,894 --> 00:51:47,228
What a waste.
798
00:51:47,395 --> 00:51:49,855
We've seen 1 0 times
as much as they have.
799
00:51:53,693 --> 00:51:55,861
Sweetie, you hungry?
You want some breakfast?
800
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:58,280
I'm not hungry.
801
00:51:59,449 --> 00:52:02,034
He's got his hands
on her tits right at the table.
802
00:52:02,244 --> 00:52:04,411
Stop staring, Rusty.
803
00:52:04,579 --> 00:52:09,041
European standards of public behavior
are very different than an American's.
804
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:10,918
Yeah, Dad. But they're from Αkron.
805
00:52:13,672 --> 00:52:16,382
JACK'S VOICE: DearAudrey,
I've missed the shit out of you.
806
00:52:16,550 --> 00:52:18,801
Luckily, Debbie's been coming by
to cheer me up.
807
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:22,555
-That bitch.
-Something the matter, Audrey?
808
00:52:22,722 --> 00:52:24,473
No.
809
00:52:24,766 --> 00:52:27,434
JACK'S VOICE: l think it's time
we asked ourselves this question:
810
00:52:27,602 --> 00:52:31,188
"ls this relationship strong enough
to consider seeing other people?"
811
00:52:31,398 --> 00:52:33,399
I think it is.
812
00:52:33,900 --> 00:52:35,943
Could you pass the croissants, please?
813
00:52:36,111 --> 00:52:38,404
And the butter and the jelly.
814
00:52:38,655 --> 00:52:40,614
It's nice to see your appetite back.
815
00:52:40,782 --> 00:52:43,284
AUDREY: Yeah, well, who
have I got to be thin for, huh?
816
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:52,835
Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.
817
00:52:53,044 --> 00:52:55,462
He's not gonna pork her, Rusty.
Just eat, okay?
818
00:52:55,755 --> 00:52:57,923
I think he is, Dad.
819
00:52:58,091 --> 00:53:00,134
He may pork her, Russ. Just eat, okay?
820
00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,638
Well, there it is, kids.
821
00:53:46,097 --> 00:53:47,848
My motherland.
822
00:53:49,184 --> 00:53:51,852
Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.
823
00:53:52,020 --> 00:53:53,812
Shut up, Russ.
824
00:54:03,573 --> 00:54:07,534
ELLEN: I can't wait to meet
our relatives in person.
825
00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:10,579
Okay. Dipplestrabe.
826
00:54:10,789 --> 00:54:12,790
Here we are now.
What are we looking for?
827
00:54:12,999 --> 00:54:15,209
-Sechs, Daddy.
-That'll do, Audrey.
828
00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:18,254
Dad, that's German for six.
829
00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:21,048
That's not true. Is that true, honey?
830
00:54:39,609 --> 00:54:41,694
My family and l are looking for sechs.
831
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:46,615
Hey, Dad, there's number six.
832
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:57,584
Fritz.
833
00:54:57,752 --> 00:55:00,421
Fritz, Clark Griswald. How are you?
Good to see you.
834
00:55:00,588 --> 00:55:03,632
Remember Ellen from her letters?
There she is, the real thing.
835
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,135
-And Rusty and Αudrey--
AUDREY: Audrey, Audrey. Hi.
836
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:08,387
They've gotten bigger since the pictures.
837
00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:10,139
Sorry, we're late.
838
00:55:10,307 --> 00:55:13,892
Thanks so much for the invitation.
Helga. Helga.
839
00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:24,945
Honey, this must be
the German dining room, huh?
840
00:55:25,113 --> 00:55:27,197
-lsn't it nice?
-Oh, Clark.
841
00:55:27,365 --> 00:55:30,159
It's just as l imagined.
842
00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:35,581
-lt's so quaint.
-Yeah. Maximum quaintness.
843
00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:39,001
You must be Helga. We made it.
844
00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:41,420
You know Ellen, my wife,
and Rusty and Αudrey?
845
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:43,589
-Hi.
-Helga.
846
00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:45,257
We're here.
847
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:48,260
Let me give you a hand in the kitchen.
Come on, kids.
848
00:55:48,428 --> 00:55:51,513
Kids, go help in the kitchen.
Help Helga out.
849
00:55:51,890 --> 00:55:53,682
So, Fritz.
850
00:55:53,850 --> 00:55:57,311
How you been? Long time never seen.
851
00:55:57,604 --> 00:55:58,645
[LΑUGHlNG]
852
00:55:59,856 --> 00:56:01,857
CLARK:
Oh, God, look at this.
853
00:56:05,653 --> 00:56:06,737
[SPEΑKING GERMAN]
854
00:56:15,663 --> 00:56:17,915
And here's your cousin Al.
855
00:56:18,124 --> 00:56:22,044
He's a hotshot lawyer now.
They'll probably get him on tax evasion.
856
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,837
Oh, yeah, and here's the baby.
857
00:56:24,005 --> 00:56:27,633
You don't believe that story about
the baby being premature, do you?
858
00:56:27,801 --> 00:56:29,176
ELLEN:
Clark.
859
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:31,637
I didn't think so.
860
00:56:32,138 --> 00:56:34,014
I mean, when me and Jack got together...
861
00:56:34,182 --> 00:56:36,475
...we had both been,
like, seeing other people.
862
00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:37,935
This is different...
863
00:56:38,144 --> 00:56:40,979
...because Debbie's my best friend
and all. Don't you think?
864
00:56:41,147 --> 00:56:43,982
Oh, God. lt's so good
to have somebody to talk to.
865
00:56:44,150 --> 00:56:46,693
My parents mean well,
but I try and tell them stuff...
866
00:56:46,861 --> 00:56:49,279
...and they don't know
what I'm talking about.
867
00:56:49,447 --> 00:56:51,323
What are you talking about, hon?
868
00:56:51,491 --> 00:56:53,158
You see?
869
00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:57,579
God, I miss Jack.
870
00:57:07,715 --> 00:57:09,967
You know, I was just thinking, honey.
871
00:57:10,176 --> 00:57:12,719
Blood really is thicker than water.
872
00:57:13,888 --> 00:57:17,224
It's amazing to me how family ties
break through the language barrier.
873
00:57:17,392 --> 00:57:21,687
Oh, Sparky. This has been
my favorite part of the trip.
874
00:57:26,484 --> 00:57:29,945
Hey, Dad, look. Bedpans.
875
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:34,783
ELLEN: You've really been so sweet.
Now, here's our address.
876
00:57:34,951 --> 00:57:38,704
And when you come to Chicago,
you come and stay with us.
877
00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:41,039
Okay, auf Wiedersehen.
878
00:57:41,207 --> 00:57:43,667
AUDREY: Helga, thank you
for the marvelous conversation.
879
00:57:43,835 --> 00:57:46,211
-Bye.
CLARK: Bye-bye, auf Wiedersehen.
880
00:57:46,379 --> 00:57:47,963
We'll write.
881
00:57:53,261 --> 00:57:54,887
Bye.
882
00:57:55,054 --> 00:57:57,264
RUSTY: Bye.
AUDREY: See you later.
883
00:57:59,058 --> 00:58:03,812
IN GERMAN:
884
00:58:07,108 --> 00:58:09,234
AUDREY:
A festival.
885
00:58:09,402 --> 00:58:11,028
ELLEN:
Looks like fun.
886
00:58:11,237 --> 00:58:12,905
Come on, kids.
887
00:59:04,290 --> 00:59:07,709
-What's your name?
-Claudia. And yours?
888
00:59:07,877 --> 00:59:10,003
-l'm Rusty.
-Hello.
889
00:59:10,922 --> 00:59:12,506
[SPEΑKING GERMAN]
890
00:59:15,009 --> 00:59:16,843
So do you ever get to leave here?
891
00:59:18,805 --> 00:59:21,265
AUDREY: Thank you.
ELLEN: Oh, Sparky.
892
00:59:21,432 --> 00:59:22,516
[AUDREY LΑUGHlNG]
893
00:59:22,684 --> 00:59:24,810
What's so funny? This is great, isn't it?
894
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:26,895
-Come on.
-Oh, Dad, I love these.
895
00:59:27,063 --> 00:59:29,606
Who wants bratwurst,
mustard and relish?
896
00:59:54,382 --> 00:59:56,383
Holy shit.
897
00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:57,968
MAN:
Hey, you. Come.
898
00:59:58,469 --> 00:59:59,886
Come on. Very good.
899
01:00:00,054 --> 01:00:03,557
We need one more.
One more. Big, strong man. Yeah.
900
01:00:03,766 --> 01:00:06,393
-Come on, Dad. You'd be great.
MAN: Hey, you. You come.
901
01:00:06,561 --> 01:00:08,353
-Do it, please?
MAN: Don't be afraid.
902
01:00:08,521 --> 01:00:11,648
-All right. Okay, okay.
MAN: Good, very good.
903
01:00:13,359 --> 01:00:15,068
Come.
904
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,655
Hey, take care.
905
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:21,450
CLARK: l don't know. l don't know.
-You come.
906
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:24,953
-l don't know if l can do that.
-Just follow the others.
907
01:00:26,748 --> 01:00:28,415
All right, Daddy.
908
01:00:45,433 --> 01:00:47,059
Isn't he great?
909
01:02:32,665 --> 01:02:34,666
ELLEN:
Are you okay?
910
01:02:34,917 --> 01:02:36,001
[SHOUTING]
911
01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:51,725
CLARK: Let's go.
ELLEN: Let's go.
912
01:02:51,893 --> 01:02:52,934
[BELLS RINGlNG]
913
01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:56,354
-Those bells haven't rung in years.
-What does they mean?
914
01:02:56,522 --> 01:02:59,357
They're going to hang somebody.
915
01:02:59,650 --> 01:03:01,610
Dad!
916
01:03:01,861 --> 01:03:02,903
What?
917
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:15,040
Hurry up.
918
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:32,557
-Go. Go. Don't stop.
-Go, Daddy. Go.
919
01:03:32,725 --> 01:03:34,893
RUSTY:
Go, Dad. Come on.
920
01:03:36,562 --> 01:03:37,896
ELLEN: Look out.
RUSTY: Don't stop.
921
01:04:01,712 --> 01:04:03,088
Oh, shit.
922
01:04:06,884 --> 01:04:10,011
ELLEN: It's too narrow.
-We'll make it. Plenty of room.
923
01:04:10,221 --> 01:04:12,722
I know this car, honey.
924
01:04:15,434 --> 01:04:18,103
Right. Everybody out.
There goes the paint job.
925
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:22,858
-Hurry up. Give me the bags.
AUDREY: Help.
926
01:04:23,609 --> 01:04:25,485
-Come on, honey.
-l'm coming.
927
01:04:30,116 --> 01:04:32,492
RUSTY:
Oh, God.
928
01:04:43,129 --> 01:04:45,422
CLARK:
Snap it up. Hurry up.
929
01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:01,479
Why the sour puss, Russ?
930
01:05:01,772 --> 01:05:05,567
You know, you totally ruined what
could have been the best day of my life.
931
01:05:05,735 --> 01:05:07,277
What are you complaining about?
932
01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,946
I lost my boyfriend,
thanks to this vacation.
933
01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:11,990
I vote we don't talk about Jack anymore.
934
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:13,909
-l second it.
-l vote for that.
935
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:17,078
Oh, yeah? Well, I vote we don't talk
about schedules anymore.
936
01:05:17,246 --> 01:05:19,456
-Me too.
-l'm for that.
937
01:05:19,665 --> 01:05:21,666
I vote we don't talk at all. How's that?
938
01:05:21,834 --> 01:05:24,669
Not until we get to Rome
and everybody calms down a bit.
939
01:05:24,837 --> 01:05:28,423
Maybe then we'll be acting
like mature human beings.
940
01:05:51,697 --> 01:05:53,448
[MUSlC PLAYlNG ON HEΑDPHONES]
941
01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:54,741
[SINGlNG]
942
01:07:12,611 --> 01:07:13,695
Shh!
943
01:07:14,071 --> 01:07:15,989
Yeow!
944
01:07:32,339 --> 01:07:34,382
-Let's go.
-Clark. Clark.
945
01:07:34,550 --> 01:07:36,801
I vote we talk. What are we doing?
946
01:07:36,969 --> 01:07:39,095
We're talking.
We're getting off the train...
947
01:07:39,305 --> 01:07:41,973
...go to a traveler's check place,
get our money back...
948
01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:44,642
...we'll rent a new car
and buy some new clothes...
949
01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:47,187
...and finish up
the best vacation of our lives.
950
01:07:47,354 --> 01:07:50,231
Okay? Αnd it's gonna be fun.
Now, let's go.
951
01:07:52,985 --> 01:07:56,321
I think Dad's lost all sense of reality.
952
01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:07,999
Come on, come on.
Let's get out of here.
953
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:10,543
Hey, what are we gonna do about him?
954
01:08:10,711 --> 01:08:14,255
-Kill him.
-Don't be stupid. We never kill anyone.
955
01:08:14,423 --> 01:08:16,382
Then what do we do?
956
01:08:16,550 --> 01:08:18,259
Hey.
957
01:08:18,594 --> 01:08:20,678
I've got a better idea.
958
01:08:20,846 --> 01:08:22,931
Maybe we can hold him for ransom.
959
01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:25,141
He must be worth something to someone.
960
01:08:28,229 --> 01:08:31,481
Oh, Clark, I think this
is something historical.
961
01:08:31,649 --> 01:08:34,400
AUDREY:
Yeah, it looks real old, Dad.
962
01:08:35,486 --> 01:08:37,779
That's great.
We'll see all this later. Come on.
963
01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:40,949
Only four more miles.
Let's go, come on. Hustle.
964
01:08:43,244 --> 01:08:47,497
LOUIS: What we need now is a dupe.
Someone above suspicion...
965
01:08:47,665 --> 01:08:50,875
...who will believe anything you tell him.
966
01:08:51,210 --> 01:08:52,961
A real idiot.
967
01:08:53,170 --> 01:08:55,380
Hello? Anybody here?
968
01:08:56,298 --> 01:08:59,801
But, Clark, we don't have any proof
that we lost those traveler's checks.
969
01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:02,512
We left all the stubs in the suitcase.
970
01:09:04,306 --> 01:09:07,475
-Can l help you?
-Yeah. I'm Clark W. Griswald.
971
01:09:07,643 --> 01:09:09,936
We're the grand prize
Pig in a Poke winners.
972
01:09:10,104 --> 01:09:13,314
We're in a bit of a bind.
We've lost all our luggage...
973
01:09:13,482 --> 01:09:17,819
...a videotape camera, a rented car,
and we've lost about $1 000 in cash.
974
01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:19,696
I'm just here to get my money back.
975
01:09:20,030 --> 01:09:24,492
Oh, yes. I certainly hate
to see our customers inconvenienced.
976
01:09:27,705 --> 01:09:29,330
Well....
977
01:09:31,500 --> 01:09:36,045
-Okay, name?
-Clark W. Griswald.
978
01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:41,759
-And?
-Ellen Griswald.
979
01:09:42,511 --> 01:09:44,929
Ellen Griswald.
980
01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:49,475
And these are our children,
Rusty and Audrey.
981
01:09:49,643 --> 01:09:52,187
Russ. Aud. Come on over here.
Show yourselves.
982
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:54,355
Oh, um....
983
01:09:55,274 --> 01:09:58,276
Yes. Here we are.
984
01:10:04,366 --> 01:10:08,453
No, excuse me. We lost only $1 000.
This is $3000.
985
01:10:08,704 --> 01:10:10,747
That's to make up for your trouble.
986
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:15,543
Hey, I lost about $200.
987
01:10:18,589 --> 01:10:21,716
PlETRO:
Stay quiet. We'll get you out later.
988
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:27,347
LOUIS: Unfortunately, we somehow
misplaced the key to the trunk.
989
01:10:28,265 --> 01:10:30,475
But if you tell me where you're staying...
990
01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:32,727
...l'll get the new key to your hotel.
991
01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:35,146
CLARK: Oh, honey, which hotel
are we staying in?
992
01:10:35,314 --> 01:10:38,233
-The Nazionale.
-Oh, very nice.
993
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,027
This is great. l didn't even know
you guys rented cars.
994
01:10:44,990 --> 01:10:47,742
I'll see you then. Madame.
995
01:10:47,993 --> 01:10:49,202
Ciao.
996
01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:51,788
Well, what do you say
we see some Roman ruins?
997
01:10:51,997 --> 01:10:54,415
Oh, Clark. We've been
in these clothes for ages.
998
01:10:54,583 --> 01:10:57,210
-Why don't we go shopping.
-Yeah, I vote for shopping.
999
01:10:57,378 --> 01:10:59,629
Yeah, Dad. l feel totally scuzzed out.
1000
01:10:59,797 --> 01:11:01,130
Okay, l'm a sport.
1001
01:11:01,298 --> 01:11:03,549
We'd all look good
in some Italian fashions.
1002
01:11:03,717 --> 01:11:05,134
Got plenty of money.
1003
01:12:11,076 --> 01:12:24,088
[MOUTHING]
No.
1004
01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:57,205
-Hey, you look cool.
-l feel cool.
1005
01:13:00,125 --> 01:13:02,960
-Mom.
AUDREY: Hey, Mom, looking good.
1006
01:13:03,128 --> 01:13:07,215
Okay, let's go. Αre we ready
to conquer Rome? What do you say?
1007
01:13:22,231 --> 01:13:25,316
Okay, l'll be right out
and we'll hit the fountains.
1008
01:13:29,488 --> 01:13:30,696
[MAN SCREAMING]
1009
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:35,284
I'm terribly sorry.
1010
01:13:35,452 --> 01:13:36,911
Are you all right? I'm sorry.
1011
01:13:37,079 --> 01:13:40,832
-No problem. No problem at all.
-Hey, it's you. The guy from London.
1012
01:13:41,041 --> 01:13:42,667
You're the American l ran into.
1013
01:13:42,876 --> 01:13:44,502
Yeah.
1014
01:13:44,711 --> 01:13:46,879
So, what are you doing in Rome?
1015
01:13:47,047 --> 01:13:50,258
On sick leave. You know,
a little holiday, recovering.
1016
01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:52,176
You still on holiday with the kids?
1017
01:13:52,344 --> 01:13:55,179
Oh, yeah, we're here.
We've just been out shopping and....
1018
01:13:55,347 --> 01:13:57,432
Nice choice.
1019
01:13:57,599 --> 01:14:00,685
Yeah, they're right--
Hey, kids. Look who it is. Say hi.
1020
01:14:00,853 --> 01:14:03,187
ALL: Hi.
MAN: Hi.
1021
01:14:03,730 --> 01:14:06,149
Oh, my God,
you've got a cast on your leg.
1022
01:14:06,316 --> 01:14:08,609
Oh, this? Oh, think nothing of it.
1023
01:14:08,777 --> 01:14:12,321
Hardly matters at all.
It's just a big sock, really.
1024
01:14:12,531 --> 01:14:16,200
Well, that's pretty nice of you.
I feel pretty bad about that.
1025
01:14:16,368 --> 01:14:19,203
-l can give you a hand in here.
-No, no. No, thanks.
1026
01:14:19,371 --> 01:14:22,874
-Aren't you going to your hotel here?
-No. My hotel's over there.
1027
01:14:23,041 --> 01:14:26,377
-Goodbye. Have a nice holiday.
-Bye-bye now. Cheerio.
1028
01:14:28,046 --> 01:14:30,089
Okay, this is the Piazza Navona.
1029
01:14:30,257 --> 01:14:31,966
Jack?
1030
01:14:34,219 --> 01:14:37,013
This is one of the most
fabulous squares in Rome.
1031
01:14:37,222 --> 01:14:40,308
-What's the matter, Audrey?
-l wanna go home. l miss Jack.
1032
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:43,311
We'll be going home soon.
Just a few more fountains to see.
1033
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:45,813
-And then the Colosseum.
-l don't wanna see it.
1034
01:14:45,981 --> 01:14:47,482
I wanna see Jack.
1035
01:14:47,649 --> 01:14:50,776
-Jack will always be there.
-The Colosseum will always be there.
1036
01:14:50,944 --> 01:14:52,945
The Colosseum's been there
for 2000 years.
1037
01:14:53,113 --> 01:14:56,157
But if I don't go home soon,
Jack will fall in love with Debbie.
1038
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:57,742
And l'll just die.
1039
01:14:57,910 --> 01:15:01,871
Oh, Audrey, don't you wanna see
the Colosseum before you die?
1040
01:15:02,039 --> 01:15:04,832
-l hate you.
-Audrey.
1041
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:07,793
Dad, I'll meet you guys later at the hotel.
1042
01:15:07,961 --> 01:15:09,962
What about the fountains?
Where you going?
1043
01:15:10,130 --> 01:15:11,839
I don't know. l'm fountained out.
1044
01:15:12,007 --> 01:15:14,926
-Clark, why don't you just let him go?
-Now just a minute.
1045
01:15:15,093 --> 01:15:16,427
We leave day after tomorrow.
1046
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:18,846
We have a few moments
together as a family.
1047
01:15:19,014 --> 01:15:21,474
-Can we do that?
-Oh, God, Dad.
1048
01:15:21,642 --> 01:15:24,644
We've been together every second
for the last two weeks.
1049
01:15:24,811 --> 01:15:26,812
And by the way, I've been good.
1050
01:15:26,980 --> 01:15:29,273
I haven't complained, or tried to escape.
1051
01:15:29,441 --> 01:15:32,818
So why can't you just treat me
like a man for once?
1052
01:15:32,986 --> 01:15:34,445
Because you're not a man.
1053
01:15:34,696 --> 01:15:38,658
I am too. l'm 1 5 years old,
a world traveler.
1054
01:15:38,825 --> 01:15:40,660
I've got a part-time job.
1055
01:15:40,869 --> 01:15:42,411
I need my independence.
1056
01:15:42,579 --> 01:15:44,497
Wait a minute. lf he's going, l'm going.
1057
01:15:44,665 --> 01:15:48,042
Now, just a minute, Clark. Why don't
we give the kids some free time?
1058
01:15:48,210 --> 01:15:51,671
Okay, sure. Let them go. They're just
a couple of ingrates, that's all.
1059
01:15:51,838 --> 01:15:54,298
They're not ingrates. They're teenagers.
1060
01:15:54,466 --> 01:15:56,801
-How about my allowance?
AUDREY: Can I have my passport?
1061
01:15:56,969 --> 01:15:58,844
Just a minute, Αudrey. Rusty, Clark.
1062
01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:01,681
Let's all settle down
and try to be reasonable.
1063
01:16:01,848 --> 01:16:06,811
I'm sure if we think about it, we can
all make some kind of compromise.
1064
01:16:11,817 --> 01:16:14,318
Oh, my God.
1065
01:16:19,074 --> 01:16:21,659
-Oh, boy. Take it easy, honey.
-l don't believe this.
1066
01:16:21,827 --> 01:16:24,370
This is the most humiliating thing
you've done to me.
1067
01:16:24,538 --> 01:16:26,998
-This is the last straw, Clark.
-Don't get mad.
1068
01:16:27,165 --> 01:16:31,168
-lt's not my fault they stole the camera.
-You promised you'd erase it.
1069
01:16:31,378 --> 01:16:34,213
I did. l was.
I was gonna erase it. The guy--
1070
01:16:34,381 --> 01:16:38,926
-He stole the camera, I--
-This is the lowest, the worst, Clark.
1071
01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:40,928
Ellen, where are you going?
1072
01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:43,097
We have to be at the Colosseum at 2 p.m.
1073
01:16:43,348 --> 01:16:45,182
I'm going back to the hotel.
1074
01:16:46,476 --> 01:16:49,353
-We didn't vote on that, did we, hon?
-Oh, forget your vote.
1075
01:16:49,521 --> 01:16:52,481
I'm seceding from the union,
I'm forming my own government...
1076
01:16:52,649 --> 01:16:55,359
...and l'm declaring war on you.
1077
01:16:58,739 --> 01:17:01,115
She'll be back.
She knows l didn't mean to do it.
1078
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:03,618
I don't blame her, Dad.
1079
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:07,121
Yeah, it's not even a good likeness, is it?
1080
01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:12,668
Well, l guess it's just
you and me, Αudrey.
1081
01:17:13,503 --> 01:17:15,004
Audrey?
1082
01:17:18,592 --> 01:17:20,009
[SPEΑKING ITALlΑN]
1083
01:17:22,429 --> 01:17:24,263
Say...
1084
01:17:24,431 --> 01:17:27,308
...that's bellissimo.
1085
01:17:27,476 --> 01:17:29,143
Really choice?
1086
01:17:29,686 --> 01:17:36,108
And l think that you
are really bellissimo also.
1087
01:17:36,276 --> 01:17:38,694
You're not too shabby yourself.
1088
01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:41,530
-You speak English?
-Sure. l'm from California.
1089
01:17:41,698 --> 01:17:43,991
All right. l'm from Chicago.
1090
01:17:44,159 --> 01:17:45,785
Hey.
1091
01:17:46,203 --> 01:17:48,412
Do you wanna scarf
some Grimace proportions?
1092
01:17:48,580 --> 01:17:49,997
Sure.
1093
01:17:50,165 --> 01:17:51,832
So, what are you doing in Rome?
1094
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,918
Traveling through Europe with my folks.
1095
01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:55,961
-Me too. We won a--
-Pig in a Poke.
1096
01:17:56,129 --> 01:17:57,922
I know, I saw the show.
1097
01:17:58,090 --> 01:17:59,423
-You saw the show?
-Sure.
1098
01:17:59,591 --> 01:18:01,425
You answered
the Thomas Edison question.
1099
01:18:01,593 --> 01:18:03,636
-You won your dad car wax.
-You remember?
1100
01:18:03,804 --> 01:18:05,638
Yeah, l thought you were cute.
1101
01:18:05,806 --> 01:18:07,973
You thought I was cute.
1102
01:18:21,488 --> 01:18:24,949
-Finally, there's one of them.
-And she's alone.
1103
01:18:25,117 --> 01:18:27,284
Now, let's get that guy out of the trunk.
1104
01:18:27,452 --> 01:18:30,830
LOUIS: Too many people here.
We'll move the car first.
1105
01:18:30,997 --> 01:18:32,748
I'll get the keys from her.
1106
01:18:46,346 --> 01:18:47,388
[BLOWlNG NOSE]
1107
01:18:53,019 --> 01:18:54,729
LOUIS:
Hello...
1108
01:18:54,896 --> 01:18:57,231
...Ellen Griswald.
1109
01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:11,078
I hate to see
a beautiful woman drink bad wine.
1110
01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:14,165
Oh, well, then, l think you should leave...
1111
01:19:14,332 --> 01:19:16,709
...because I'm gonna get plastered.
1112
01:19:18,503 --> 01:19:20,212
What is it?
1113
01:19:21,381 --> 01:19:23,591
Is it your husband?
1114
01:19:24,009 --> 01:19:27,344
-That pig?
-Oh, he's not a pig.
1115
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:37,396
He is a pig. He is.
1116
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:44,028
Thank you.
1117
01:19:46,031 --> 01:19:49,033
Hello, operator? l'd like
the number for information, please.
1118
01:19:49,201 --> 01:19:51,535
No, I wanna call the airport.
1119
01:19:52,037 --> 01:19:53,037
[SPEΑKING ITALlΑN]
1120
01:20:00,420 --> 01:20:03,964
No, Pan Am.
1121
01:20:04,132 --> 01:20:05,549
Pan-o Am-o?
1122
01:20:05,759 --> 01:20:09,929
Thank you very much. Have a nice day.
1123
01:20:10,305 --> 01:20:11,388
[WΑITER SPEAKlNG ITALIAN]
1124
01:20:11,556 --> 01:20:14,767
I'm sorry.
1125
01:20:48,301 --> 01:20:51,303
And then I rolled over onto the floor
and l started going:
1126
01:20:51,847 --> 01:20:53,389
[SCΑTTlNG]
1127
01:20:55,225 --> 01:20:56,767
And l was completely naked.
1128
01:20:56,935 --> 01:20:59,103
Well, not completely naked,
I had on a towel.
1129
01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:04,275
But he promised me he'd erase that.
He promised me he'd erase it.
1130
01:21:04,651 --> 01:21:07,152
I'm a ruined woman.
1131
01:21:08,363 --> 01:21:10,447
I thought this was gonna be...
1132
01:21:12,367 --> 01:21:15,494
...like some kind of second honeymoon.
1133
01:21:15,996 --> 01:21:18,163
What we should've done
is left the children...
1134
01:21:18,331 --> 01:21:20,499
...with Helga and Fritz.
1135
01:21:21,418 --> 01:21:23,168
Thank you.
1136
01:21:24,045 --> 01:21:27,840
I'm sorry. I should
really go to my room now.
1137
01:21:28,008 --> 01:21:30,175
I'm going to throw up.
1138
01:21:34,848 --> 01:21:39,018
-Let me help you. Come on.
-Oh, no, no. I'll be fine.
1139
01:21:39,185 --> 01:21:41,437
I think you'll feel better if you lie down.
1140
01:21:44,733 --> 01:21:47,943
I've developed this whole philosophy
about dealing with my parents.
1141
01:21:48,153 --> 01:21:50,946
It's like, if I'm in school
or hanging out or something...
1142
01:21:51,156 --> 01:21:55,451
...there's all this pressure, you know?
To act cool or do the right thing.
1143
01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:58,662
But if I'm with my parents,
who really cares?
1144
01:21:58,830 --> 01:22:00,915
They don't know
what's cool and what's not.
1145
01:22:01,082 --> 01:22:03,459
So you can just put
everything on hold, right?
1146
01:22:03,668 --> 01:22:05,586
You got a great way of looking at stuff.
1147
01:22:05,754 --> 01:22:08,797
-Thanks.
-You know, l'm having a great time.
1148
01:22:09,174 --> 01:22:11,467
-Me too.
-God, imagine...
1149
01:22:11,676 --> 01:22:14,428
...coming to Rome to meet
someone from California.
1150
01:22:14,596 --> 01:22:16,513
Really.
1151
01:22:19,392 --> 01:22:22,061
Oh, whatever happened to us?
1152
01:22:22,979 --> 01:22:25,022
We were high-school sweethearts.
1153
01:22:25,190 --> 01:22:27,191
We never even did it
until we got married.
1154
01:22:27,359 --> 01:22:29,902
Well, at least
until we decided to get married.
1155
01:22:30,070 --> 01:22:33,572
And l left him all alone in that--
That-- That piazza.
1156
01:22:33,740 --> 01:22:36,742
I said the F word in front of my children.
1157
01:22:36,910 --> 01:22:39,536
What kind of a woman am l?
1158
01:22:40,330 --> 01:22:42,498
-Exciting.
-What?
1159
01:22:42,707 --> 01:22:45,042
Don't fight it, Ellen.
1160
01:22:45,210 --> 01:22:47,378
What are you--? What are you doing?
1161
01:22:47,545 --> 01:22:50,673
-Let me take you away from all of this.
-l don't wanna be away.
1162
01:22:50,840 --> 01:22:52,633
I want my Sparky back.
1163
01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:56,011
It was just a little argument.
He'll probably be here any minute.
1164
01:22:56,221 --> 01:22:57,304
[POLlCE SlREN WAlLlNG]
1165
01:22:57,472 --> 01:22:59,515
And he's very jealous.
1166
01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:01,600
I'm calling the manager.
1167
01:23:03,144 --> 01:23:06,271
LOUIS:
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
1168
01:23:09,401 --> 01:23:10,526
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
1169
01:23:11,736 --> 01:23:13,570
Hello?
1170
01:23:15,156 --> 01:23:17,908
Are you taking any calls?
1171
01:23:19,577 --> 01:23:21,745
-Hello?
-The police are here.
1172
01:23:21,913 --> 01:23:24,415
Stay away from the Fiat.
I'm getting out of here.
1173
01:23:24,582 --> 01:23:26,375
I'll be right down.
1174
01:23:26,876 --> 01:23:28,961
Hello, Debbie? Αudrey.
1175
01:23:29,129 --> 01:23:31,880
We got a score to settle,
and you know what l mean.
1176
01:23:32,048 --> 01:23:34,591
If you wanna salvage
the last shred of friendship...
1177
01:23:34,759 --> 01:23:37,052
...that exists between us,
you'll do me a favor.
1178
01:23:37,262 --> 01:23:39,596
Yeah, l want you to book me
on a Pan Am flight...
1179
01:23:39,764 --> 01:23:42,683
...out of Rome into Chicago today.
1180
01:23:43,268 --> 01:23:45,352
Yeah, l'll hold.
1181
01:23:47,939 --> 01:23:49,106
Bitch.
1182
01:23:54,946 --> 01:23:57,573
-Mom?
-Take the car keys.
1183
01:23:58,408 --> 01:24:00,659
-Mom.
ELLEN: Find your father.
1184
01:24:00,827 --> 01:24:02,828
LOUIS:
Come on, come on.
1185
01:24:05,540 --> 01:24:07,291
Don't move.
1186
01:24:16,801 --> 01:24:19,636
Mom? Mom.
1187
01:24:20,138 --> 01:24:22,473
Mom, where are you going?
1188
01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:25,559
Mother.
1189
01:24:25,977 --> 01:24:29,605
-Hi, hon. What's the matter?
-Dad, l think Mom's been kidnapped.
1190
01:24:30,857 --> 01:24:34,109
-Where's the car?
-Over there. Here's the keys.
1191
01:24:45,205 --> 01:24:46,371
[HORN HONKS]
1192
01:24:57,342 --> 01:24:59,718
LOUIS: Get out.
-Stay there. Sparky.
1193
01:24:59,886 --> 01:25:00,928
There they are.
1194
01:25:24,661 --> 01:25:27,121
AUDREY:
Hey, Dad, there's the Colosseum.
1195
01:25:34,170 --> 01:25:36,672
Well, God, I've been talking so much.
What about you?
1196
01:25:36,881 --> 01:25:38,549
What are your parents like?
1197
01:25:38,716 --> 01:25:41,635
Well, there's really not that much to say.
1198
01:25:41,803 --> 01:25:44,012
They're just, like, normal parents.
1199
01:25:47,517 --> 01:25:49,143
[SCREAMlNG]
1200
01:25:53,565 --> 01:25:56,400
My dad's all right.
He's a little slow sometimes.
1201
01:26:03,908 --> 01:26:06,118
God, that's Dad.
1202
01:26:07,078 --> 01:26:08,495
-Get in.
RUSTY: What happened?
1203
01:26:08,663 --> 01:26:10,956
Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.
1204
01:26:35,815 --> 01:26:37,191
Darn it all.
1205
01:26:45,158 --> 01:26:47,284
Excuse me. There's a man in the trunk.
1206
01:26:47,452 --> 01:26:48,994
What?
1207
01:26:49,454 --> 01:26:52,289
ELLEN:
Clark. Clark.
1208
01:26:54,125 --> 01:26:55,709
Ellen.
1209
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:58,045
I'm coming, honey.
1210
01:27:06,179 --> 01:27:08,972
Clark. Clark.
1211
01:27:30,245 --> 01:27:32,371
ELLEN:
Take my hand.
1212
01:27:37,794 --> 01:27:40,170
Clark, where are you going?
1213
01:27:40,380 --> 01:27:42,381
Get back here.
1214
01:28:07,156 --> 01:28:08,490
What--?
1215
01:28:08,658 --> 01:28:10,158
Where are--?
1216
01:28:10,326 --> 01:28:12,327
You-- You bastard.
1217
01:28:14,038 --> 01:28:15,747
Come here.
1218
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:20,294
Come here. What the--?
1219
01:28:20,461 --> 01:28:22,462
-Hello.
-Oh, hello.
1220
01:28:22,630 --> 01:28:25,090
-Still on holiday, are you?
-Yeah, jeez, l'm sorry.
1221
01:28:25,258 --> 01:28:29,177
-l'm looking for somebody else.
-No problem, l'm used to it. Good luck.
1222
01:28:30,680 --> 01:28:33,181
Look out. l'll get him.
1223
01:28:38,855 --> 01:28:40,480
He kidnapped my wife.
1224
01:28:42,984 --> 01:28:45,110
-You all right?
-Oh, yeah.
1225
01:28:45,403 --> 01:28:47,738
Oh, Clark.
1226
01:28:49,240 --> 01:28:50,407
[POLlCE SlRENS WAILING]
1227
01:28:58,291 --> 01:29:00,250
[POLlCE SHOUTING lN lTΑLlAN]
1228
01:29:01,753 --> 01:29:04,588
I love you, Sparky. You're my hero.
1229
01:29:04,756 --> 01:29:06,256
I know.
1230
01:29:06,591 --> 01:29:09,760
Your parents are actually pretty cool.
1231
01:29:09,927 --> 01:29:13,013
Yeah, they're good
for a few laughs sometimes.
1232
01:29:13,806 --> 01:29:16,433
Now can we go home?
1233
01:30:04,440 --> 01:30:08,735
Clark, Clark. Look.
1234
01:30:09,278 --> 01:30:10,737
Hey, kids.
1235
01:30:10,905 --> 01:30:12,697
Look, the Statue of Liberty.
1236
01:30:13,699 --> 01:30:16,576
RUSTY: Great.
-l never thought l'd be so glad...
1237
01:30:16,744 --> 01:30:19,162
-...to see the Statue of Liberty.
-Me either.
1238
01:30:19,872 --> 01:30:21,957
Boy, the great thing about traveling...
1239
01:30:22,166 --> 01:30:24,918
...is you really learn
to appreciate coming home.
1240
01:30:30,675 --> 01:30:32,509
I gotta go.
1241
01:30:37,723 --> 01:30:40,475
I never realized
how much I've missed Αmerica.
1242
01:30:41,227 --> 01:30:44,271
Bet Αmerica's missed
the Griswalds too, honey.
1243
01:30:47,400 --> 01:30:51,236
I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.
Let me get up-- My jacket is caught here.
1244
01:30:56,576 --> 01:30:57,742
[SCREAMlNG]
1245
01:31:01,998 --> 01:31:05,375
RUSTY:
Yep, the Griswalds are back.
1246
01:33:56,422 --> 01:33:58,423
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]
88670
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