All language subtitles for Lucy.2003.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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Excuse me.

What's the rush, kid?

Ms. Ball, they're calling for
everyone on set, Ms. Ball.

Where is Mr. Arnaz,
is he on the set?

Hey!

Mr. Arnaz,

Ms. Ball wants to know
if you're on the set yet.

Of course I'm not,

I'm in here trying to hold
this company together.

Tell her to get
her fat ass to work.

Ms. Ball,

Mr. Arnaz says he'll join you
on the set presently.

You tell him to put down
the daiquiri shaker

and pretend to be sober
for an hour.

Mr. Arnaz,
Ms. Ball said...

I know
what the hell she said.

Rotten bitch.

Lousy drunk.

Bill?

What?

I just wanted to say

we've had our disagreements
over the years.

You mean we hated
each other's guts.

Yes, that's right,
we hated each other's guts.

But in the end,
I just wanted to say

thanks, and good luck.

You don't mean that.

No, I don't.

Lucy, dear,

did you get those line changes
for the first scene?

Yes, I did,
they're fine.

Good. Well, have a good show,
sweetheart.

You, too.
Yeah.

God, it's worse
than we thought.

They're being civil
to each other.

This really
is the end.

I want to thank you all
for coming tonight.

This is an historic night.

The last
Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.

Believe me, we all wish
it could be otherwise.

We wish we could
go on forever.

Hey, now stop that.

I'm paying for that
expensive makeup
you're ruining.

Yes, boss.

In the role of Ethel Mertz,

the lovely and talented
Vivian Vance.

Vivian Vance,
ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, doll.

Playing Fred Mertz,
Mr. William Frawley.

Bill Frawley,
ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, Bill.

And finally,
the vice president
of Desilu Studios,

I am the President,

the mother of my children
and my favorite redhead,

playing Lucy Ricardo,
my wife, Lucille Ball.

Thank you. Oh!

Thank you all so much.

Uncle George,
can't we slow down a little?

Two cheese,
one double mayo, onions both.

What's the matter, Lucille,
can't keep the pace?

Only if I ate
half of them myself.

You got to put some meat
on those bones. Here.

Uh, why don't you
take a break?

Oh, good.
Thanks, Uncle George.

Oh, Johnny.

Johnny, you devil.

Johnny, stop.

You girls all right
down there?

Boiled and mashed
like a couple of potatoes.

I know how we can
cool those spuds off.

Johnny!

I know a better way.

Just because I work
and can't watch you
every minute

doesn't mean
you can run wild.

Are you so starved for
attention that you have to

ride naked through town
on some boy's fender?

I wasn't naked
and it wasn't...

If you want to be
an actress or a singer,

that's fine by me.
I'm all for it.

But no daughter of mine
is going to be a stripper.

Please, Officer,
I've never been
arrested before,

I'm so confused.

So you're saying
if I tell you what I know
about Marcy and Joe,

I could just go home?

That's right.

And you'll forget
about all of this?

It never happened.

Now what do you say?

I'd say...

Nuts to you, copper.

What kind of a rat
do you think I am?

I'll do ten years
before I turn on Joe.

"Ms. Ball gave
one of the most impressive
portrayals of the evening.

"She played the part..."

Hey, Frank Buck,
impressive actresses

are trying to read
their reviews up here.

Hey, sis,
look at my birthday present.

Daddy Fred, is it okay
if Joanna takes a shot?

Yes, if she's careful.

Go on.

"She played the part
of the experienced
underworld girl

"with much greater realism..."

Uh, can you hear me, son?

Uh, uh, Denny?

What happened?

They took it all.

What do you mean?

What does he mean?

The boy is
permanently crippled.

His parents' lawsuit has
taken every dime we have,

and the court has
declared us bankrupt.

But that's not fair,
it was an accident.

Eddie was there.

They hold him
responsible.

Why can't we fight back?

Is it always gonna
be like this?

Just when things
are going good,

something comes along
and ruins everything?

It's not fair.

All right,
let's get this
audition started.

Get in line.

Five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three...

Ms. Ball,
Ms. Ball, catch up please,
you're behind.

Ms. Ball,
you're behind, Ms. Ball.

Kick when they kick,
Ms. Ball.

Ms. Ball...

Catch up, catch up, Ms. Ball.

All right,
all right, all right.

...three, four, five...

I'm sorry, Ms. Ball,
you won't do.

Right here, ladies.
Newspaper.

Well, Ms. Ball,
you're tall enough

and you've got good legs.

If we change the hair
and makeup,

you might just
make a Carnegie model.

What the hell?
Houdini couldn't
get out of this thing.

Of course if Houdini wanted
to help me get out of it,

that would be
something else again.

Don't you know
this is what your maid
gets paid to do?

Remind me to fire her.

I've got a live one
Friday night.

It's better than a dead one.

He's got a friend.

How ugly?

I hear he looks
a little like Houdini.

They feeding us?
Mmm-hmm.

You sure don't
eat like a model.

We're all jealous
of Lucille.

She can eat and eat
and stay bone thin.

I wouldn't say "bone thin,"
I like her look.

You, darling, can
keep talking about me,
the rest of you shut up.

You girls ever done
outdoor ads?

No.

I'm not sure I want my figure
on the roof of a taxi cab.

Honey, it's been
on the floor of a taxi,
why not the roof?

That's a horrible
thing to say!

Oh.

It was a limousine.

I only mentioned it because
our agency just landed
the Chesterfield account.

We'll be picking
the Chesterfield girl
from now on.

Oh, really?

Excuse me, aren't you
the cigarette girl?

That's right,
Lucille Ball.

That poster of you is great.
Thank you.

I'm Sylvia Hallow.
I'm an agent.

I'm sorry,
I haven't heard of you.

Well, have you
heard of Sam Goldwyn?

Can you believe it?
They had 12 girls
picked already,

but one of them's
mama said she couldn't go.

You're gonna be
a Goldwyn girl.
That's amazing!

What do they pay?

About three times as much
as I'm making here.

Of course, it's only
for six weeks.

You know what they say
about Hollywood.

It's a million-to-one shot.

Then why are you going?

I like the odds.

All right, girls,
line up by number.

One, two, three and so on.

Now first,
you'll meet Eddie Canter,

who's directing and starring
in Roman Scandals,

and then the press.

Eddie Canter?

Miss...
Ball, Lucille Ball.

I think you've
contracted something.

Uh, no, sir, not yet.

A contract is
what I hope
you'll give me.

You two girls up next to
the column up here, please.

Thank you.

One on the step,
next to the column,

and on the bench,
please, dear.

You cross over here
for your entrance.

Okay, this is the scene,

I bend down
just as he decides
to sling the mud.

Where is that, uh, girl?
You know, what's her name?

You are just
going to love it here.

Wait till you see
the house.

Is this your car,
Lucy Ball?

It belongs to a friend.

He let me borrow it
to pick you up in style.

Boyfriend?

I don't date boys
anymore, Mama.

This is it.

Real orange trees
in the backyard

and not a snow shovel
in sight.

Well?

What do you think?

This must be costing you
an awful lot.

I'll start looking
for a job tomorrow.

Mama,

your working days
are over.

Well, let's go take
a look at this Taj Mahal.

This is a real thing,
Freddy.

A real home.

Ever and ever?

Ever and ever.

I'm not depending on
anybody else anymore.

I'm gonna make this work.

This family is gonna
walk in the front door
fat and sassy

and sit at table number one.

I lay claim to this town.

It's mine.

They just don't know it yet.

Quiet please.
And action!

Cut!

Ms. Ball?
Yes?

I'm Ed Sedgwick.

I've watched you working today
and I just wanted to say

you've got a natural talent,
I can see that.

You may need
a little tutoring.

Please, call me.

I know quite a bit
about it.

Yeah, okay.

Ladies.

Tutoring?

Is that what they're
calling it these days?

I guess so.

How many dirty old men
can there be?

Are you kidding?
They got their own union.

I don't see why you have
to go to all that expense.

I don't want you
to be my maid.

But having
a servant in the house
makes me uncomfortable.

I'm working long hours

to wrangle this family
into luxury,

you'll just have to
grin and bear it.

And I don't want any
ruling class, serving class

clap trap out of you.

No, Your Highness.

My mother was a maid
for Mr. Jack Benny's wife.

She taught me most of
what I need to know.

Is this what you
wanted to do, Harriet,

be a maid?

No.

I was a dancer for years.

I worked all those clubs
up on Central.

But it's...

Well, nobody's making
the All Negro Review of 1939.

No, I guess not.

But I know the life,
Ms. Ball.

I know makeup and hair

and there's not
a stage-door Johnny
I can't handle.

I believe that.

I'd like you
to start tomorrow.

I've got the day off,

but on Wednesday I have a big
fight scene with Maureen O'Hara.

Ooh, boy!

I'd pay to watch that.

You know, Harriet,
that's not a bad idea.

Boy,
they're good sports,
I tell you.

You look like
a $2 whore
with a mean pimp.

How much did we make...

Who is that?

I don't know.

Well, go find out.

That man's too
good-looking to ignore.

He's too good-looking
to be anything but trouble.

Of course
I looked at you.

You did not.

You walked right by,
nose in the air,

like some
damn aristocrat.

I am an aristocrat.
Oh.

And I prove you wrong.

You had on a green dress,

your hair was a mess,
and you had a black eye.

That's one, hmm?

Oh, Daisy,
you were looking.

No. That's Desi.

You just don't understand
Latin men.

We see more
in one hot, little glance

than most men see
in a lifetime.

What did you see?

Somethin' I wanted.

Excuse me, Mr. Arnaz,

the manager wanted to know
if he could send something

over to your table
with his compliments?

Tell him yes.
Thank you very much.

They never send me anything.

Being the latest sex symbol
has its advantages.

Oh, no, no, no,
it's terrible.

All these girls all the time,
following me,

sending their maids
to find out my name.

Daisy.
Desi.

Desiderio Alberto
Arnaz y De Acha III.

The third?

Yeah, I told you
I'm an aristocrat.

My father was
Mayor of Santiago.

That's a major city in Cuba.

You're serious?

We're an old proud family.

I had horses, boats, cars,

everything, until I was 16.

Then what happened?

Then the rebels came.

Yeah, we got out
just in time

with nothing
but a Chihuahua dog.

"Mi casa, mi casa."

That's all
my mother could say.

And she still says it
sometimes in her sleep.

You're still close
to your mother?

Yeah.

So am I.

Not so different then.

Please, Mr. Arnaz.

Oh. Hold this, please.

Rings get in the way.

That's Desi Arnaz.

♪ Babalu

♪ Babalu

♪ Babalu aye

♪ Babalu aye ♪

I see that look
in your eye.

What look?

That "riding on the fender
through town" look.

You're hooked
on this boy.

It's just a date.
He's at RKO, I'm at RKO.

It's a Hollywood thing.

Hmm, even I don't
believe that.

He's so young.

Men aren't serious
about anything at age 23.

So who wants serious?

You do,

deep down,
and you know it.

I just don't want you
to make the same foolish
mistakes that I did.

I have some bad news.

You found somebody else?

No. No, I haven't.

Why would you say
such a thing?

I'm sorry.

I'm just such a pessimist
when it comes to happiness.

It never seems to last.

Oh, Lucy,
please, I just...

What did you call me?

Lucy.
Is that all right?

No one calls me that.

Except my Grandpa Fred
sometimes calls me Lucy Ball.

I like it.

You call me Lucy.

Lucy,

my agent has booked me
into a New York nightclub.

I'll be gone for
the next three months.

Three months?
That's a lifetime.

I'll write to you
every day.

I promise.

You better.

You didn't really think
he would?

Write every day?

I'm going to
call him.

Oh, no, you're not.

Is this
Desi Arnaz's room?

Yes, who's this?

Lucille Ball.

Lucille Ball.

Lucy?
Who was that?

Uh, I don't know her name.

You don't know her name?

She's auditioning.

We're adding some
dancers to the show.

What's your name, honey?
Bettina.

Uh, Bettina.

You're screwing her.

I am not.
I'm dancing with her.

Listen, I don't know
what actresses have
to do to get jobs,

but dancers have to dance.

That's a mean thing to say.

You started it.

I did.

And I'm sorry.

I miss you so awful.

I'm not so easy
to forget, huh?

This is driving me crazy.

We have to talk.

We are talking.

That's not what I mean.

All right, girls.

And one, two,
three and four,

one, two, three
and four, good.

Good.

Lucy?

Lucy,
what are you doing here?

Lucy.

Hiya, Daffy.

Oh! Oh, Lucy,

uh, this is Bettina.

Hi.

I'm sorry, honey.

You're always gonna have girls
throwing themselves at you.

I hope so.

But seriously, honey,
jealousy is a hungry emotion,

it will eat you alive.

I got bites all over.

You know what they're saying
about us in Hollywood?

Hmm?

That we're
a ridiculous couple.

We are.

That it's amazing that
we've lasted this long.

Two months, it's a miracle.

That it will burn out
in a month or two.

Most likely.

Here.

I've got it. You owe me then.
Want that property.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Ms. Ball.

What?

Well, who did we marry?

Marry?

You didn't really?

Oh, baby.

Well, forget
what I said before.

I'm so happy for you.

This is Walter Winchell

back from commercial
with the showbiz news.

RKO contract players
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

have gotten themselves
married overnight in
a romantic whirl.

Good luck to them both.

Right there, I'm gonna build
a barbecue, Cuban style.

Big enough for
a whole roast pig.

Mmm-hmm.
Ah, Clark,

may I please introduce you
to my mother, Lolita De Acha.

Mother, this is
Clark Gable.

I'm most honored, ma'am.
I, too.

Excuse me,
I have to go look after
the spaghetti sauce.

I hear
Desi's quite a cook.

Did he learn that
from you, Mrs. Arnaz?

Oh, no, no, no,
not from me.

No, I did no cooking
at home when Desiderio
was young,

we had cooks.
I see.

It's been cooking
for six hours.

It's ready.

Not yet.

You're gonna burn the bottom
right out of that pot.

Go on, Lucille,
tell the story.

Well,

my agent calls Selznick
and gets me an audition.

So I'm driving over there
in my convertible, top down,

Scarlett off to Twelve Oaks.

When all of a sudden,
two blocks from the studio,

out of the clear blue sky,

a big rain drop hits me splat,
right between the eyes,

and it starts to pour.

So I arrive at
Selznick's office

looking like
a drowned cat.

Luckily, his secretary
takes pity on me.

She sits me down
by his fireplace to dry off

with a big glass of brandy.

So I'm kneeling there
and drying out

and drinking the brandy
and reading the script

and drinking the brandy.

And then all of a sudden
there he is,

Mr. Selznak...nick.

I'm the one,
I'm your Scarlett,

and I start,
"Why Ashley Wilkes,

"I do declare.

"Is there anyone more
dashing and exciting?

"Fiddle-dee-dee to Melanie,
fiddle-dee-dee."

He's just staring at me
in total disbelief,

and finally, he says,

"Ms. Ball, why don't we
try it with you standing up?"

With all that brandy
I forgot to get up.

Well, a lot of girls
auditioned for Scarlett
on their knees.

I was one of them.

Hey, everybody,

the Cuban spaghetti
is finally ready.

Hey, there's a song in here.

♪ The Cuban spaghetti
is finally ready ♪

Thank God, I'm starving.

I told you.

Harriet, when's the last time
you vacuumed this carpet?

This afternoon, Mrs. Lombard.

Clean enough
for show folk.

What's she gonna do?
Carole!

Oh, my God.
Oh, Carole, no, you're not.

That's the secret.
That's the secret to
the Cuban spaghetti.

Well, next time when I...

So, Mima,

you talked to Mr. Gable
for quite a while.

He's a fine gentleman,

very knowledgeable
in the world.

And what did you think
of Lucy's mom?

And her Grandpa Fred.
Isn't he a riot?

They are good people,
I--I don't worry about them.

Mama,
who do you worry about?

Lucy?

She doesn't have
much elegance,
does she, Desiderio?

And not much class.

Desi, I'm bored
sitting here by myself.

Lucy, I have to be
out there in circulation.

I don't have a big,
fat contract at RKO
like I used to,

like some people still do.

Ms. Ball's car,
right away.

That's my car, amigo.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, Mr. Ball.

That's who I am now,
Mr. Ball.

He was just a kid.

Ah, you love it when
this kind of thing happens.

I do not.

I'm not Mr. Ball,
I will not be Mr. Ball.

Oh, grow up.

Hell, if the kid had
called you Mr. Balls,

you'd have given him
a twenty-buck tip.

You've got
a big mouth on you.

You're just now
finding that out?

From Hollywood,

America is at war

and Hollywood is a big part
of the home front.

Some stars are campaigning
to sell vital war bonds,

others are taking off
fancy film costumes

to put on plain army green.

Good luck to them.

Where they are going,
there are no stunt doubles

to do the dangerous work.

Nice move.

There's no point
in waiting for him,

he's not coming home.

How can you
be so sure?

Last night he was out
with that new blonde
at Universal.

Night before he was
at the Grove, drunk,

banging the drum
and some brunette.

Honey, how do you
know all this?

People talk.

They're happy
to tell me.

There's a conga line of guys
who want in my pants.

But you wouldn't.

Who says I wouldn't?

I know you.

You want this
marriage to work.

You start cheating too,
it just shows you lost hope.

Hope.

We have to move.

Move?

Bums and drunks have
figured out where we live.

I had to throw one a bottle
last night to keep him quiet.

Here it is,
not a drop gone.

Am I supposed to be impressed
by your will power?

No.

I don't like this brand.

Just like sex, eh?

You turn your nose up
at the house brand.

I like the house brand.

It's my favorite.

Yeah, but who eats
just chocolate

when there's
peppermint and tutti frutti.

Lots of people.

Married men,
have you heard of them?

They make a vow to
stay with chocolate

and they damn well
stay with chocolate.

If you think
most married men...

No, you're not turning this
into some Life magazine poll.

This is about you
screwing around on me

and it's going to stop.

And I'm gonna stop?

Who do you think
you married, huh?

Lucy Ball from upstate,
nowhere?

I'm a man.

My father had a mistress

who had her own house
and kids by him.

A wife, a mistress and more.

That's your excuse?

Because your daddy did it
long ago on some spic island?

Lucy...
I'll tell you why you do it.

It's because you're not
in the movies anymore,

because you're back
to banging the drum
for a living,

'cause some kid
called you Mr. Ball,

'cause it makes you
feel like a big Cuban man

if you can poke
something strange.

This is the way I am.

I work hard, I play hard,

I drink hard,

and I love hard.

And I know you like that.

I can't remember.

Lucy.

Lucy, please come back.

♪ Good night, sweet dreams

♪ Tomorrow's another day

♪ Till then

♪ Sweet dreams, sweetheart

♪ Good night, sleep tight

♪ I'll see you along the way

♪ In dreams

♪ Sweet dreams, sweetheart

♪ May angels up above

♪ Watch over you

♪ And keep you safe, my love

♪ Until the dawn
breaks through

♪ Good night, sweet dreams

♪ Tomorrow's another day

♪ Good night, sweet dreams

♪ Sweetheart ♪

All these years
I wasted on sexy hips

and banging the drum,

when all it takes
is a uniform.

Promise me
you'll stay safe.

The Army's sending me out
to conduct bands.

Where I'm going,

all the Japanese
are locked up,

and all the Germans
are cameramen.

On the other hand,

a trombone
can poke out an eye.

Everyone,
say hello to Lucille Ball.

Hello, Lucille.
Hi.

You're one of
the MGM family now, Lucille.

We're living at the dawn of
the Technicolor age, Lucille.

And we're gonna make you
the brightest star in it.

Are we gonna make me
beautiful or cut me up
for steaks?

Do the best you can.
This is the girl's last shot.

I'll try.

Lucille, Red Skelton.

Red, what a thrill
to be working with you.

I've got so much
to learn.

Well,
let's get started.

Oh, boy.

Careful.

This is gonna be fun.

Try a few bounces.

Hey, I'm pretty
good at this, huh?

Turn around.

Okay, I'm the cat,
you're the mouse.
Here we go.

Whoa.

Pretty good.
I bet I can do it, too.

I guess MGM will be
reporting a profit this year.

What?

Oh, I get it,

'cause they dumped
all the red ink on me.

Dede says you're
not feeling too good.

Oh, I'm fine,
she worries too much.

So do you, Lucy Ball.

I've got reasons,

believe me
I've got reasons.

You talking about Cuban Pete?

He hasn't been home
for weeks.

Well, he's in the Army.

Are you defending him,
Daddy?

Not at all.
I hate the way
he treats you.

It's-- It's just that...

It's okay.

It's not the Army.

His unit hardly ever
leaves California.

He was in Riverside last week,
one hour's drive

and he never
bothered to come home.

He sends these long,
apologetic telegrams

and says how much
he loves me,

but he just can't
leave the girls alone.

Says it's part of
his Cuban soul

and he's never gonna change.

I thought this was
something special, Daddy,

one of those
destiny things,

two people who just
had to be together.

Maybe if I'd had a baby,
we'd be a family.

But we haven't
and I can't hold on to him.

I'm so unhappy.

I've got to do something
or go crazy.

Let me share
an attorney's view
of your situation.

You'll have to testify

but you should have
no difficulty

demonstrating his infidelity.

No difficulty.

And you're living apart now,
that's good.

This will enable us

to get you a provisional
decree of divorce.

Once he signs it,
it will be permanent.

But there are things
you must not do

that will invalidate
the decree.

You cannot be
in business together

or buy anything together.

That's not a problem.

And you cannot
sleep with him.

Forgive me?

♪ In conclusion,
bear in memory

♪ Keep the password
in your mind

♪ God provides
for every worker

♪ When in union they combine

♪ Stand like men
and lean together

♪ Victory will for you prevail

♪ Keep your hand
upon the dollar

♪ And your eye
upon the scale

♪ Union workers stand together

♪ Do not heed
the operator's tale

Lucy?

♪ Keep your hand
upon the dollar

♪ And your eye
upon the scale ♪

I'm so sorry,
baby.

I always liked
the old man.

My father was
a stuffed shirt,

but Fred was
the real thing.

Everybody else died
or ran away, but not him.

He was my father.

What can I
do for you?

Tell me
why I'm like this.

You feel sad
because somebody
you love has died.

It's more than that.

I felt this way
when Grandma Hunt died,
and Aunt Lola died,

so hopeless and dark,

like the earth just opens up
and I fall into my own grave.

That's how I feel.

It doesn't go away.

I have it with me
every day.

No, not every day.

Every day, I feel this doom.

I do a good job
of hiding it,

but this is
the real me underneath.

Lost.

No, you are not lost
when I'm with you.

When you're with me?
When's that?

Desi,

I want so much
to have children.

It's something
I dream about.

Something I never had.

A real family.

Oh, Lucy,
I want the same things.

Oh, I've missed this.

Okay, let's hear it.

What?

You're wearing your
"agent with bad news" face.

I can guess,
since Metro cut me loose,

nobody else wants me.

No that's not right,
Lucille,

there's a part I've got you up
for at Columbia with Red.

Don, my shot at being
a major star is over.

You know, I don't care.

The more I have to choose,
the more I choose this.

Home.

I can be an also-ran
if I have this to run home to,

and Desi.

I think he really wants
to make this marriage work,

except he's gone so much.

If Desi and I could do
something together...

How about TV?

That would put
the last nail in my coffin.

Any movie actor who does TV
is blackballed.

Hey, the studios are gonna
have to wake up about TV.

It's coming,
it's gonna be huge

and nobody can stop it.

What?

Keep a secret?
Of course.

I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant.

Lucille, that's wonderful.

It's coming,
it's gonna be huge,

and nobody can stop it.

Red,
where are we going?

We call it
the Burroughs Nest,

it's where we go
to hide from studio brats.

Lucille Ball,
say hello to Buster Keaton.

Wow, what a pleasure,
Mr. Keaton.

Nice to meet you, Lucille.

I used to watch your movies
back when I was a kid.

Ah, that was when I was
a whole lot thinner.

And you've met
Ed Sedgwick.

Just once.

You were wrestling
a giant squid.

You probably thought
I was coming on to you.

I'm sorry,
I think I did.

Let me
turn this thing off.

What is that?

Well, the writers had the Sound
Department make these records

so it sounds like
they're all in their
offices working hard.

But in reality,
they're all down at
Boardner's drinking hard.

So, Lucille,

MGM let you go?

Yes.

I've got a new agent now,
Don Sharpe.

I know Don.
Very forward-looking.

He's got me set up
to do a radio show.

A kind of
newly-wed comedy.

It'll keep the wolf
from the door,

but I'm gonna miss
the big screen
and the studio.

Wrong.

Getting fired from MGM,

best thing that could have
happened to you.

Louis B. Meyer
never understood.

Understood what?

Us. Red, me, you.

Clowns.

Buster is just amazing.

The first thing he says
is you have to decide

that you're a clown
and devote yourself to it.

I'm not so sure
I'd say you were a clown.

You know, I think I am.

All my life
I never understood

what the director meant
half the time.

I always thought
it was me just not being
smart enough,

but Red says
he's the same way.

Until he can get
in front of a mirror
all by himself,

he doesn't have any idea
what he's gonna do.

Don Sharpe called again,
you know?

I don't have a problem
with TV, Lucy.

I think it could be
a good new direction,
for me, anyway.

Working behind the scenes
a little more...

I don't know.

Okay, let me put it to you
another way.

I need this, for me.

I'm not a conga-banging
kid anymore.

You still look good to me.

I know I can produce
a show like this.

I just need a chance.

You can give us a chance.

All right, let's do it.

Desi, I'd like you to meet
Bob Carroll Jr.
and Madelyn Pugh.

They are
the best two writers
on the radio show.

It's a pleasure.
Please, have a seat,

make yourselves
comfortable.

So, uh, why don't you tell us
what kind of show you see?

Well, really, a radio show
is a good model.

A married couple,
we love each other,

we have fights
but we always make up.

Fight about what?

Well, what do you two
fight about?

Status.

You mean like
if Lucille was a star

and Desi wanted to be?

Yes.

No, better
the other way,

he's the star

and I'm always
messing things up.

Lucy?

You--You guys keep talking,
I'm-- I'm-- I'm just
going to go lie down.

Are you okay?
Oh, yeah.

Okay.

So, what kind of star?

How about a bandleader,
like Desi?

No, no,
I don't know.

Yes, yes,

you being bandleader
is perfect.

It brings music
into the show,

and it's glamour
and night clubs and...

Desi. Desi, I need you.

I like the script, Don,
it's excellent.

Wit and slapstick
nicely blended.

How's Lucille feeling?

She's fine, a little gloomy
after the miscarriage,

but she's bouncing back.

So when do we start?

Well, I'll be honest
with you, Don,

I personally have
no problem with Arnaz,

but the network's position is
that he's,

well, he's just too ethnic.

They're all asking
why would an all-American girl
like Lucille Ball

marry such a guy,

except for sex,
which we can't talk about.

Well, it's not just sex, Hub,
they are really in love.

If you could see them
at home around the pool,

they are just your average
husband and wife.

Husbands on this network
don't wear frilly sleeves,

shake their hips
and bang a jungle drum.

I'll make a note,
no frilly sleeves.

But seriously, Hub,
don't say no yet,

let me convince you. Huh?

No. No, Lucille,

you're playing the part
of the audience.

I'm doing what?

Well, the audience knows
it's awful,

but to the clown,

this is the most
beautiful music
she has ever made.

In a nutshell,
CBS doesn't think
the marriage works.

Don, tell the truth,

it's because I'm Cuban.

But if we can demonstrate
that this show is
irresistibly funny...

Funny trumps everything.

It's the
11th commandment.

Bob, Madelyn,

think you could work up a few
routines for Lucille and Desi

that would work on stage
and would work on TV, too?

Of course.

Friends, we're gonna
bring back vaudeville.

Stop the music. Stop!

Have you seen a fellow
named Desi Arnaz? Huh?

Have you seen a fellow
named Desi...

Excuse me?

I'm Desi Arnaz,
what can I do for you?

Oh, I want to be
in a band.

Oh,
you're a musician.

I am?

Oh, I am, I am, yeah.

First of all, you'll have to
show me your credentials.

Do you have
any experience?

Listen, professor,
tell me something,

do you play
that thing?

How is that?

I said,
do you play that thing?

What thin?

Never mind making fun
of my English.

That's English?

Do you play that instrument?
Where?

There.
Oh!

Well...

Yeah.

I tell you what we do,
we give you an audition.

No. Now?
Sure.

Right now.
Oh, my!

You play something
we'll listen to you.
Oh.

Help me out here, will you?
Sure I'll help you.

Here you are.

Gracias.
Ah, graciasto you too.

Okay, professor,
we'll take it off of you

on the downbeat,
whenever you're ready.

Honey, there's a little snag
in the negotiations.

CBS is insisting
we do the show from New York.

Why? Everybody lives out here.

It's about broadcast quality.

They want the show
to go live in the East
not on Kinescope.

I don't wanna
leave our home,

after we've worked
so hard on it.

That's what I told them.

Okay, I'll fix it.

Don tells me
you're becoming
a real savvy bargainer.

I'm proud of you, Daffy.

Dizzy.

Kisses, bye.

So how's our girl?

She's good, and, uh,
she doesn't wanna move.

So, Hub,

what if I said
screw the Kinescope,

suppose I can deliver

broadcast quality film
to you on time every week?

How you
going to do that?

We shoot
directly on film.

Cut film, ship film,

East, West
see the same things

on the same night,
same quality.

It takes a movie crew
three times longer

to film a scene,
that's just a fact of life.

So?

We'll use
three cameras at once.

I'll shoot master, close-up

and whatever,
all at the same time.

It's never been done.

Um, some quiz shows
have tried it.

Not on film
and never for anything

that requires comedic timing.

And I wanna shoot it
with a live audience.

Where are you gonna
find a sound stage

with space enough
for an audience?

I don't know,
we'll build it
if we have to.

One thing I learned
from the vaudeville act,

Lucy needs real people
to play to.

Do you know
what you're doing?

About half the time.

Oh, good.

CBS uses TV crews,
not movie crews,

you'll have union problems,

and no matter
how you slice it,

it's gonna cost more.

We'll make up the difference,

our company will,
Desilu will.

The only way
this will work

is if Desilu actually
produces the shows.

Okay.
Desi?

But that means Desilu
gets to keep the negatives.

We own them.

Sure.

You want a whole bunch of film
and all that storage cost,

you can have it.

Well, I was just
witness to something.

It was either genius
or suicide.

Well, we're still
breathing, aren't we?

You're gonna need
a producer.

Lucy and I...
Are gonna be too busy,

I'm going to get you
a top guy.

What about the neighbors,
Fred and Ethel?

We should make them
a little older,

and maybe be
the Ricardos' landlord.

So what do you think, Jess?

Yes, that's good.

The Mertzs,
they still love
each other,

but they're not
lovey-dovey anymore.

And-- And Fred...

Well, maybe Fred
used to be
in show business.

So he and Ricky
have more in common.

It works.

Desi, they told me
you had a few ideas
about casting?

Yeah, there's an actress
in a play in San Diego,

people say
we should look at.

Vivian Vance.

I don't know her.

And there's a character actor
I like for Fred,

Bill Frawley.

Isn't he a little old?

Isn't he a little,
uh...

That's one of the things
I'm gonna find out.

Excuse me a minute,
I need to check on Lucy.

We're so overdue
it makes me nervous.

Hey, Cuban Pete,

here's your daughter.

Look at her.

Look at her.

She's all right.

Are you all right?
Hmm.

Hi, there.

I'm Daddy.

Who are you?

Everybody's fine.
Oh!

The baby is so beautiful,

you can't imagine!

I love this baby,

and I love Lucy.

Good morning,
how are you both?

Fine, thanks.

Jess.
Lucille.

I'd like to introduce
Vivian Vance,
who'll be playing Ethel.

You know Bill Frawley,
playing her husband, Fred.

Ms. Ball, it's an honor
to meet you

and an absolute thrill
to be working with you.

You're pretty,
you're too damn pretty,

I thought Ethel
was supposed to be dumpy.

Don't worry,
I photograph dumpy,

and that's the first time
you ever heard an actress
admit that.

I don't know
what the problem is,

she looks
plenty dumpy to me.

And you look old enough
to be my grandfather,

instead of
my husband.

Good. Well,
I see we're settling
into character already.

Of course you all know
our director, Marc Daniels.

Hi.

You want to take them
for a test drive, Marc?

Well, let me just
put my crash helmet on.

Shall we?

"Lucy is standing
stirring the pot

"while reading the book.

"Ethel enters,
but Lucy does not hear her.

"Ethel places a hand
on Lucy's shoulder,

"Lucy screams."
Eek!

Gosh, did I scare you?

Oh, no, I was getting ready
to scream

and throw the book
out the window. Anyway.

I'm sorry, I just wanted
to borrow...

Okay, just--just--just
hold it, just a moment.

Lucille, I think
that book-throwing line

wants a little more twist,
you know?

Okay.

Okay, let's try it again.

Uh, listen, Marc,
I know what you mean,

I know what you want,

but it's good
to talk about this now,
first day,

because I've never
been good in rehearsal.

It used to bother
the hell out of me,
but in recent years

I've found
that a lot of comedians

aren't good in rehearsal

because we have to
figure this stuff out
on our own.

Well, that's just fine,
Lucille,

but it has to be there
before we shoot.

Don't worry, it will be.

And as her husband Fred,
Bill Frawley,

William Frawley,
ladies and gentlemen,

Fred Mertz.

Thank you, old man.

And in the role
of Lucy Ricardo,

my wife,

the mother of my child,

the wonderful Lucille Ball.

Thank you, sweetie.

Hi, Mama.

Good morning.

I had the most
exciting time last night.

I learned how...

What's that
you're reading?

Lucy?

Gosh, did I scare you?

Oh, no, I was
getting ready
to scream

and throw the book
out the window anyway.

Baby,
we threw the dice,

we win big,
or we crap out.

Two hundred people
liked it.

All we need is
a few million more.

Oh, honey,

no, I haven't put it
in the oven yet,

I'm just stuffing it.

Uh... Well, it's only 2:00.
It won't take that long...

6:00?

Hello, friends.

Hello, friends.

Hello... Hello, friends.

Hello, friends.

Hello, friends,

I'm your
Vitameatavegamin Girl.

Do you poop out at parties?

Do you poop...

Do you poop out at parties?

Do you poop out at parties?

Are you unpopular?

The answer
to all your problems

is in this little bottle.

Is in this bittle lottle.

All you do is
take a big tablespoon full
after every meal.

It's so tasty, too!

So tasty, too!

Tasty, too!

Tastes just like candy.

It's just like candy!

That's Vitameatavegamin.

I sure hope
this bread turns out,

it took all morning,

I had to go to three or four
shops to get enough yeast.

Why? How much did you need?

13 cakes.

13 cakes?
Mmm-hmm.

That seems like
an awful lot.

Oh, here's the recipe
right here.

Let me see.

Lucy.
What?

Three cakes.

Oh, really?

Oh, well, they're small,
it won't make much difference.

I guess you're right.

Hey, you smell bread?
Maybe it's done.

How did this oven door
get open?

Help! Help! Help!

Watch out for my legs!
Watch out for my legs!

Talk about
an overnight sensation,

there's a new sweetheart
in America

and her name
is Lucy Ricardo.

The whole nation now comes to
a halt on Monday nights

to watch
the new hit on CBS.

Stores close early

and the cops tell us
that the crime rate drops off

during the redhead's half hour
of inspired hilarity.

Even the bad guys
are saying, "I Love Lucy."

Okay, down to the business
of eating chocolate.

Ooh, this looks great.
Yeah.

Good job, guys.
All right.

10:30 in the morning, Lucille?
Yeah, it's 10:30.

Start the belt, guys,
start the belt.

You ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.

Okay, we're ready.
All right.

Nice and neat.

Now the object of the game.
Yep?

We can't let any of them
go past us or we're fired.

All right.
Speed it up, guys.

Speed it up?
We can do it.

There we go.

Can't let any get by.
Don't let any get by.

Uh-oh.

Put it in your hat.

No, Madelyn,
that's not what I'm saying.

It's...

It's the same spin
we've used
how many times before.

Lucy wants to
get into showbiz,

we've got to try
and complicate things a bit.

Guys, can we talk to you
a minute?

Believe it or not,
I'm pregnant.

In the middle of next season
I'll be as big
as Jackie Gleason.

Well, that's-- that's
great news.

Congratulations.
Thank you.

Well, I--I know
this screws things up
for us a little bit.

Why should it
screw things up?

Well, Jess, the network
won't even let us sleep
in the same bed.

Screw the network,
this is great.

This is real life,

this is exactly
what I was looking for.

We're gonna have this baby
on the air.

On the air?

Tastefully.

Tastefully?

What the hell
does that mean?

She'll wear
appropriate clothes,

hardly any symptoms,

cravings for
funny food only.

Oh, for God's sake, Jess,
they're going to
explode upstairs.

They were nervous
about her even being
married to the guy.

Now the implication here...

It's not an implication, Hub,
it's a child,

a little human being.

They already have one
in reality.

This is not reality,

this is television.

Listen to this.
"Dear Mr. Ricardo,

"my husband and I
are going to have
a blessed event,

"I just found out
about it today
and I haven't told him yet.

"I heard you sing
a number called,

"We're Having a Baby,
My Baby and Me.

"If you would sing it
for us now,

"it will be my way
of breaking the news to him."

Oh, isn't that wonderful!

Of course I'll do it
for you, sure.

Uh...

Wait a minute,
I've got a wonderful idea.

Why don't we bring
the couple up here

and I'll sing it
right to them, huh?

Come on, let's bring them up
on the floor.

Come on folks,
who is it?

♪ Rock-a-bye baby,
on the treetop

No?

♪ When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock

No?

♪ When the bough breaks,
the cradle will fall

♪ And down will come baby

♪ Cradle and all

♪ Rock-a-bye baby,
on the...

Oh, hi, honey.

♪ ...on the treetop

♪ When the wind blows,
the cradle will fall

♪ When the bough breaks,
the cradle will fall ♪

Honey. Honey?

Honey, no.
Yeah.

Really?
Yeah.

Well, why didn't you
tell me?

You didn't give me
a chance.

Are you kidding?
No.

It's me!

I'm gonna be a father,
how about that?

I want you
to meet my mother.

I mean my wife, my wife.

Sing the baby song.

What?

Sing the baby song.

♪ We're having a baby

♪ My baby and me

♪ You'll read it in Winchell

♪ That we're adding a limb
to our family tree

♪ While pushing
that carriage

♪ How proud I will be

♪ We're having a baby

♪ My baby and me ♪

Oh, Ethel, I just know
Ricky won't like it.

Well, he may not
like it at first,

but he'll
get used to it.

You just got to
get up the courage

to tell him you really
want to do this.

Okay.

Ricky?

Go on.

Ricky, there's something
I wanna ask you.

Ricky?

Ricky, are you
listening to me?

Oh, hell,
he's passed out.

Okay, take ten
while we throw some water
over the head of the studio.

Did you hear
what Marc said?

Desi's starting
to lose the respect
of the whole crew.

Lucille, listen.

What, Viv?

I've been
wanting to tell you this
for a couple of weeks now,

but...

And this isn't
the right time, either.

But Paul and I were in
Palm Springs a few weeks ago,

and Desi was there.

I know.

He bought a house
down there.

We didn't see him
at the house.

He was in the casino.

He was roaring drunk
and gambling.

Gambling like a fool,
Paul said.

I don't know
much about it,

but Paul plays a little
and he said...

How much did he lose?

I don't know,
but it had to be thousands.

Thousands?

What the hell is
going on with him?

Why is he so determined
to ruin himself?

I don't know.

I don't understand him
anymore.

No, I'm a pooped.

No.

Isn't that something?

Now, I heard
you're looking at
a house in town.

Mr. Jack Benny's,
right?

That's right.

I'm just thinking back
to when my wife
and I bought our place.

How hard it was to scrape
that down payment together

and then not lose it.

What do you mean?

I was a pretty big gambler
back then, way out of control.

Thought about taking
that nest egg money
to Vegas day and night.

Almost did,
more than once,

the seduction was so strong.

But it wasn't too strong,
you beat it.

Oh, I beat it, ultimately,

because I wanted
other things more.

I see.

Now I get it.

This is what the night
was all about, hmm?

Bring big daddy over
to talk to the lost
little Cuban,

save him from
his gambling. Hmm?

Save him from himself.

But what do you mean, Ed,
what do you mean?

Don't be such a damn idiot.

You don't talk
to me that way,
all right?

You treat me like one
of those--those children.

You don't!
Oh!

You son of a bitch!

Lucille Ball
and Desi Arnaz's studio,
Desilu, is on a run,

adding Make Room For Daddy,

and Our Miss Brooks
to a stable of shows.

Lucy and Desi
have lived on a ranch

in the San Fernando Valley
for years,

but now it's
a Beverly Hills address
for them and their two kids.

Good luck to
America's favorite couple.

If the reports
of a wandering
Desi are true,

they're going to need it.

That goes right over there
for the time being,

the lamp beside it.

Mom, it's so big.
I love my room!

Oh, I'm glad, honey.

Desi, do you like your room?
Mmm-hmm.

Oh, I'm so glad, honey.

Come on.

Well, this is
some pile of bricks.

Even Senora Lolita
will be impressed.

There's one thing I do know
how to do, make a home.

You didn't
learn that from me.

You're hoping
this will settle
him down, aren't you?

Oh, Harriet, good,
there's some...

What is it?

The answer is yes.

I do love you.

Now I have to read about it
in the papers?

"Spent 20 minutes
with a prostitute

"then gave her away
to a male relative."

Who was that,
my brother, Freddy?

"A real man should
have as many girls

"as he has hair
on his head."

That's supposed to be
a direct quote.

Now who would say
such a stupid thing?

It's all made up, Lucy,
to sell papers.

Now to them
I'm just a target.

You make yourself
a very easy target.

Sunday morning
at our new house,

I'm having a neighborhood
housewarming party.

I want you there.

I'll carry you
across the threshold.

Desi.
How are you?

Ah, excuse me,
got a wife coming through.

Oh.
What the...

What the hell is this?

I don't know,
a pipe must have burst.

A pipe?
I--I thought...

Do you-- Do you know
how much these things cost?

D-Do you know what kind
of debt we're in?

It's our home!

It's our home!

It's our home!

You know
Mommy and Daddy
are not getting along,

and we don't
want to make you
unhappy along with us.

Does that mean
you're getting
a divorce?

What does that mean to you,
the word "divorce"?

It's when all the kids cry

and wish things
were back the old way.

That's right,

because it's very sad

when a Mommy and Daddy
can't live together anymore.

But you can, Daddy.
Can't you take it all back?

Oh, honey,
I wish we could,

but we can't.

Let me share
an attorney's view
of your situation.

It won't be as simple
this time.

Now you jointly own the most
successful TV studio in town.

Simple or not,
it has to be done.

This marriage can't go on.

Mr. Arnaz?

Yes, I agree.

Wow, good seats,
are we lucky or what?

The last Lucy Show,
and we got in.

And finally,
the vice president
of Desilu Studios,

I am the President.

The mother of my children
and my favorite redhead,

playing Lucy Ricardo,
my wife, Lucille Ball.

Thank you.

Oh. Thank you all so much.

And our special
guest stars,

Ernie Kovacs and Edie Adams.

♪ I can only give you love

♪ That lasts forever

♪ And the promise to be near

♪ Each time you call

♪ And the only heart I own

♪ For you and you alone

♪ That's all

♪ That's all ♪

Honest, honey,
I was only trying to help.

Well, you should
wear it like that
more often.

Look, Lucy, uh,

from now on
you can help me

by not trying
to help me. Hmm?

Okay.

Thanks for trying.

Mmm, that tickles.

Aren't you supposed
to say cut?

I know.

Cut. Damn it.

Come in.

Ms. Ball?

Ask Mr. Arnaz to wait,

I wanna walk out
with him.

Yes, ma'am.

It's been one hell
of a conga line, Daisy.

Daffy.

Maybe a little bit
lower, guys.

Pretty good. Okay.

That's good.