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1
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:08,370
Oh, honey, are you gorgeous!
2
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,830
You look just
like a virgin.
3
00:00:10,116 --> 00:00:11,126
Here, I brought
you
some crackers
4
00:00:11,166 --> 00:00:12,366
for your morning sickness.
5
00:00:14,233 --> 00:00:17,103
So when are you and Danny
gonna set a date already?
6
00:00:17,133 --> 00:00:18,303
Oh, you know me,
7
00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:20,423
always a bridal
consultant,
never a bride.
8
00:00:20,450 --> 00:00:23,000
Right, Danny?
What can I say?
9
00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:25,500
Well, how about,
"Here's a ring. Pick a pattern?"
10
00:00:27,383 --> 00:00:29,163
I'm serious.
11
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,330
We've been pre-engaged
for three years already.
12
00:00:31,366 --> 00:00:32,376
I'm sorry.
13
00:00:32,416 --> 00:00:33,466
I should've said this sooner.
14
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,380
I wanted to do it
some place nice.
15
00:00:35,416 --> 00:00:37,316
Oh, wow.
16
00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:38,480
All right. Here goes.
17
00:00:40,383 --> 00:00:41,383
I've been thinking...
18
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,126
we should start
seeing other
people.
19
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,380
What? Since when
you been thinking that?
20
00:00:47,416 --> 00:00:49,146
Since I saw Heather Bibelow.
21
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,350
I can't believe
you're telling me this.
22
00:00:52,383 --> 00:00:53,403
What, were you
stringing me along
23
00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:55,333
because
I'm your best salesgirl?
24
00:00:55,366 --> 00:00:57,326
That's the other thing.
25
00:00:57,660 --> 00:00:58,200
Heather needs a job.
26
00:01:01,330 --> 00:01:03,830
You're firing me?
27
00:01:03,116 --> 00:01:05,316
I can't believe
I just wasted three years
28
00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:08,350
of an ever-dwindling youth
on you and this dump!
29
00:01:08,383 --> 00:01:11,333
You can't fire me,
Danny Imperiali.
30
00:01:11,366 --> 00:01:13,196
I quit!
31
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:17,100
No. You fired me.
32
00:01:17,133 --> 00:01:19,103
That way,
I can collect unemployment.
33
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,470
♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪
34
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,180
♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
35
00:01:27,216 --> 00:01:28,376
♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪♪
36
00:01:28,416 --> 00:01:30,196
♪♪ In one
Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
37
00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:32,003
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
38
00:01:32,330 --> 00:01:35,300
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
39
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,383
♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪
40
00:01:36,416 --> 00:01:38,326
♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
41
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:39,330
♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup ♪♪
42
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,126
♪♪ But the father saw more ♪♪
43
00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:43,156
♪♪ She had style,
she had flair, she was there ♪♪
44
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,180
♪♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪♪
45
00:01:46,233 --> 00:01:49,173
♪♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪♪
46
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,330
♪♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
47
00:01:51,366 --> 00:01:52,416
♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪
48
00:01:52,450 --> 00:01:54,150
♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
49
00:01:54,183 --> 00:01:55,323
♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪
50
00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:56,420
♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
51
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,120
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
52
00:01:58,150 --> 00:02:02,330
♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪
53
00:02:02,366 --> 00:02:04,376
♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪
54
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,416
♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
55
00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:13,656
[DOORBELL RINGS]
56
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,320
Hello, I'm Fran Fine,
57
00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:17,320
your Shades of the Orient
cosmetics representative.
58
00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:19,380
Oy, what a loser.
59
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,000
Hello, I'm Fran Fine--
60
00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:23,400
Yes, come in.
We've been expecting
you.
61
00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:24,433
Oh, you have?
62
00:02:24,466 --> 00:02:27,826
You are here for
the nanny position?
63
00:02:27,116 --> 00:02:28,316
I could be.
64
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,373
Wow, this place is nicer
65
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,380
than my Uncle Jack's condo
in Boca,
66
00:02:33,416 --> 00:02:35,176
and, you know,
he bought the model.
67
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:41,100
May I present your résumé
to Mr. Sheffield?
68
00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:42,403
Uh... résumé?
69
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:45,133
You know what? Why don't you
go get this Mr. Sheffield,
70
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,126
and I'll do
the résumé presenting myself.
71
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,376
As you wish.
72
00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:50,096
This ought to be good.
73
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,150
We're never gonna find
an actress for this part.
74
00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:57,333
Ann Miller passed.
Gwen Verdon passed.
75
00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:59,376
Ruby Keeler passed...
76
00:02:59,416 --> 00:03:01,366
away, I believe.
77
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,130
What's she doing on this list?
78
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,466
Relax, darling.
79
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,300
You need a shiatsu.
80
00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:10,350
Sorry to interrupt, sir.
81
00:03:10,383 --> 00:03:12,833
I see you're
working
hard as always,
82
00:03:12,116 --> 00:03:14,496
Miss Babcock.
83
00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:16,420
Theater has always been
a passion of mine.
84
00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:19,480
Hmm. I can't wait to see
what you'll be mounting next.
85
00:03:23,366 --> 00:03:25,656
Yes, Niles. What is it?
86
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,370
Sir, there is a new nanny
waiting to be interviewed.
87
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,160
What happened
to the old one?
88
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,320
Brighton staged
another fake suicide.
89
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:33,470
Best one yet. Spread-eagle
on the marble
90
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,230
with a bit of catsup
trickling from his ears.
91
00:03:36,266 --> 00:03:37,366
We've got half
the money people
92
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,830
in New York coming
to our backers'
party,
93
00:03:39,116 --> 00:03:41,296
and I will not have
those
children running
loose!
94
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,320
Not that I don't love them
as if they were my very own.
95
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,220
Mm-hmm.
96
00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:49,380
I do.
97
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,200
BOY: Oh!
98
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,203
Oh...
99
00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:57,453
Ah...
100
00:03:57,483 --> 00:03:59,223
Ohh.
101
00:04:01,183 --> 00:04:03,333
Do you have a pen?
102
00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:05,176
Oh, forget it.
103
00:04:06,266 --> 00:04:08,146
Brighton, you're
losing your
touch.
104
00:04:09,266 --> 00:04:10,476
I'm Maxwell Sheffield.
105
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,170
This is my son,
106
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,180
the late
Brighton
Sheffield.
107
00:04:14,216 --> 00:04:17,126
Wait. I know you.
108
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:18,366
Esquire
109
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,270
"New York's
10 most Eligible Widowers."
110
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,180
My condolences, by the way.
111
00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:25,416
You readEsquire?
112
00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:29,130
When they list
the 10 most
eligible widowers, I do.
113
00:04:30,433 --> 00:04:32,283
Hi. I'm Fran Fine.
114
00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:34,146
Well, do come in.
115
00:04:35,116 --> 00:04:37,196
Oh, boy, do you have
gorgeous tchotchkes.
116
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:40,333
Ah-- I beg your pardon.
117
00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:43,253
Oh, you know,
your bric-a-brac,
dust collectors.
118
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,433
Ah, the
Rodin.
Yes, well...
119
00:04:45,466 --> 00:04:49,276
He was-- He was well-known
for his bronze tchotchkes.
120
00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:52,273
May I see
your résumé, please?
121
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:53,450
Oh, yeah. Sure.
122
00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:57,453
Crayon?
Lipstick.
123
00:04:57,483 --> 00:04:59,453
Of course,
and what a lovely shade.
124
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,330
I hate her.
125
00:05:07,660 --> 00:05:09,100
Now, Brighton,
let's not be
hasty.
126
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:11,183
Yeah, I haven't even sung
"Climb Every Mountain" yet.
127
00:05:13,116 --> 00:05:16,656
Miss Fine,
you seem to have listed
128
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,830
the Queen Mother as a reference.
129
00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:19,316
What? Let me see that.
130
00:05:20,383 --> 00:05:23,833
Oh, no.
That's not the Queen Mother.
131
00:05:23,116 --> 00:05:24,426
That's my mother from Queens!
132
00:05:26,466 --> 00:05:27,476
Hi, Daddy.
133
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,250
Oh, hello,
sweetheart.
134
00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:30,283
Maggie.
135
00:05:30,316 --> 00:05:32,096
Hello, Father.
136
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:35,833
Oh, boy, are you gorgeous!
137
00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:36,276
And look at that hair.
138
00:05:36,316 --> 00:05:38,996
You see, now, you
cannot
get color like that
139
00:05:39,330 --> 00:05:40,380
from out of a
bottle.
No way.
140
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,430
I'll be in my room
doing my homework.
141
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,330
Really lights up a room,
doesn't she?
142
00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:50,130
You don't need personality
when you're an heiress.
143
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,333
So, sweetheart,
144
00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,450
how was therapy
today, hmm?
145
00:05:56,116 --> 00:05:58,166
Any, uh--
any breakthroughs?
146
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,420
Dr. Borne and I
did some regression.
147
00:06:00,450 --> 00:06:02,450
She took me
back through my childhood.
148
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:06,320
Must have been a quick trip.
149
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:11,483
Oh, you have no idea
how complicated I am.
150
00:06:13,450 --> 00:06:15,230
Therapy, huh?
151
00:06:15,266 --> 00:06:17,466
It was a lot easier
than talking to us directly.
152
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,660
All right.
That's it.
Brighton,
go to your room.
153
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:22,660
All right.
Come on, Gracie.
154
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:24,170
Let's leave Father alone
to hire someone else
155
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,200
to take care
of his problem children.
156
00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:29,003
Oh, you're a bitter
little person, aren't you?
157
00:06:30,830 --> 00:06:31,380
We're gonna get along fine.
158
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,373
I'm-- I'm sorry
you had to see that.
159
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,170
I'll show you out.
160
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,170
What'd I do?
One smart-ass
remark from the
kid,
161
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,230
and I don't get the job?
162
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:41,316
That's not fair.
163
00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:44,270
As you can see,
I need help here--
164
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,470
more help
than can be provided
165
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,270
by a door-to-door
cosmetics girl.
166
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,660
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
167
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,180
Niles?
168
00:06:51,366 --> 00:06:53,326
Niles!
169
00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:54,480
Oh, for God's sakes,
I'll get it.
170
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:57,300
Sheffield residence.
171
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,173
No, honey, it's Fran.
172
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,000
Give me that.
173
00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:04,130
It's the nanny agency.
174
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:05,446
Maxwell Sheffield here.
175
00:07:07,266 --> 00:07:08,316
Thank you.
176
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:10,350
Oh, yeah. Right.
177
00:07:10,383 --> 00:07:12,273
No, no.
Monday is not acceptable.
178
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,100
Listen,
I need a nanny this weekend.
179
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:25,826
Do you have
any experience with children?
180
00:07:25,116 --> 00:07:26,146
Are you kidding?
181
00:07:26,183 --> 00:07:28,253
I practically raised
my sister's two kids
182
00:07:28,283 --> 00:07:30,333
when she was suing
her chiropodist.
183
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,280
There has to be another agency.
184
00:07:32,316 --> 00:07:34,326
Oh, please!
I come from Flushing.
185
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:36,226
There is nothing
these kids can throw at me
186
00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:37,396
that I haven't seen before,
187
00:07:37,433 --> 00:07:39,223
except maybe their trust funds.
188
00:07:42,483 --> 00:07:44,473
All right. You're hired,
but on a trial basis.
189
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,160
Oh, thank you, Mr. Sheffield!
190
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:48,280
Thank you so much.
You won't regret it.
191
00:07:48,316 --> 00:07:50,476
Somehow, I'm rather
sure I will.
192
00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:53,196
Niles will show
you
to your room.
193
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:56,316
Oh! The nanny gets to live here?
194
00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:58,453
Is that a problem?
195
00:07:58,483 --> 00:08:01,663
Oh, yeah. I'm sure
I'm gonna miss being 29
196
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:03,000
and still living at home
with my parents,
197
00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,270
but, if it's best
for the kids...
198
00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:08,123
Twenty-nine.
199
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:10,200
Don't start with me, Niles.
200
00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:11,303
[CHUCKLES]
201
00:08:25,366 --> 00:08:28,246
Good morning, everyone!
202
00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:30,233
Ooh, that Jacuzzi tub
really knows
203
00:08:30,266 --> 00:08:32,496
how to perk a girl up
in the morning.
204
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,280
Do you people
sleep like that?
205
00:08:34,316 --> 00:08:37,216
No. In a rather
astounding
coincidence,
206
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,100
I sleep in a pair
of pink, fuzzy slippers
just like yours.
207
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:42,303
A simple
"We dress for breakfast"
208
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:43,433
would suffice.
209
00:08:43,466 --> 00:08:46,196
You have to tell me
these things, Niles.
210
00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:47,253
I simply assumed--
211
00:08:47,283 --> 00:08:49,133
Don't assume
anything with me.
212
00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:51,146
I'm from Flushing,
for God's sakes.
213
00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:54,196
Oh, I just love
a good buffet.
214
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:56,163
It's free, Miss Fine.
215
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:57,500
You're
allowed
to go back.
216
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:58,150
Oh!
217
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,100
Oh... where do I sit?
218
00:09:01,133 --> 00:09:03,433
The previous nanny
sat in the kitchen.
219
00:09:03,466 --> 00:09:05,466
Oh, how antisocial!
220
00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:10,416
So, kids,
what should we do today?
221
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,500
Should we take
a walk in the park
222
00:09:12,830 --> 00:09:14,280
or maybe just kick back,
hang around the mansion?
223
00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:15,396
We have to go somewhere.
224
00:09:15,433 --> 00:09:17,173
Father's kicked us out again.
225
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,330
Now, Brighton,
I didn't kick you out.
226
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,660
I merely asked that
you not torment the caterers
227
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,200
while they're preparing
for this evening's soirée.
228
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,433
Oh, a soirée, huh?
229
00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,296
Well, I got a sister
who's a caterer.
230
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:30,233
She does a "pork-o de pruneau."
231
00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:32,276
That's French
for "pork and prune."
232
00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:39,200
Not only delicious,
but a natural digestive.
233
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:43,220
Thank you for
sharing
that, Miss Fine.
234
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,150
I could get you a deal.
235
00:09:45,183 --> 00:09:47,323
That's all right.
C.C.'s made
all the
arrangements.
236
00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:49,200
C.C.? What's a C.C.?
237
00:09:50,266 --> 00:09:52,326
Father's lady friend.
238
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:55,500
Maggie, dear,
she's a business associate.
239
00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:56,200
Mm-hm.
240
00:09:56,233 --> 00:09:58,333
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
241
00:09:58,660 --> 00:09:59,420
Well, I just hope
there's enough food.
242
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:01,250
You know, shiksas
are notorious
243
00:10:01,283 --> 00:10:03,503
for not ordering
enough food.
244
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:07,120
Booze, yes, but food,
they don't know from.
245
00:10:08,466 --> 00:10:11,166
Shiksa. Is that
like a
tchotchke?
246
00:10:12,116 --> 00:10:14,226
Yes, but...
They cost a lot more.
247
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,330
It's Ms.
Babcock
for you, sir.
248
00:10:19,366 --> 00:10:21,226
Oh, thank you, Niles.
249
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:22,416
I'll take her
in the library.
250
00:10:23,383 --> 00:10:26,203
Ms. Babcock loves to
be
taken in the library.
251
00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:29,660
I'll bet.
252
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,430
So, kids,
we're having a party.
253
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,656
What are we gonna wear?
254
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,300
We're not invited.
255
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:37,153
And neither are you.
256
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:38,453
Oh, come on.
Your father's paying for it.
257
00:10:38,483 --> 00:10:40,003
Of course,
we're invited.
258
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:42,660
We'll eat, drink.
You'll bring a date.
259
00:10:42,366 --> 00:10:43,466
Maggie doesn't date.
260
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:44,480
Never?
261
00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:46,476
The boys haven't noticed me yet.
262
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,330
Oh, they've noticed,
Maggie, and...
263
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:50,266
that's why
you don't date!
264
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,300
What is wrong
with you, Brighton?
265
00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:56,283
Middle-child syndrome.
266
00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:58,146
Thank you, Sybil.
267
00:10:58,183 --> 00:11:00,503
Now, knock it off.
268
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,120
Knock it off, all of you.
We're a family here.
269
00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:07,220
Now, we have
a party tonight.
270
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,330
There's a lot
we have to do.
271
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:10,246
We'll go shopping,
get our hair done,
272
00:11:10,283 --> 00:11:12,003
get a manicure--
273
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:13,480
You'll get a French tip.
It's a very clean look.
274
00:11:15,183 --> 00:11:16,333
So I'll go get changed,
275
00:11:16,366 --> 00:11:18,316
and then we'll go,
we'll do.
276
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:21,500
Let me just take this.
I hate to waste.
277
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,326
Dad is gonna hate this.
278
00:11:24,366 --> 00:11:27,166
C.C.'s going to totally freak.
279
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:30,173
Sounds like a party to me!
280
00:11:35,366 --> 00:11:38,146
So, well, what's
your favorite color?
281
00:11:38,183 --> 00:11:41,303
I-- I don't know. Beige?
282
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:44,170
Oy!
283
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,100
So, Gracie,
how are you doing, honey?
284
00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:50,333
I'm feeling empty and alone.
285
00:11:51,383 --> 00:11:53,663
You want a Tic Tac?
286
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,420
Okay!
Right on.
287
00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:56,430
So tell me about
your new job already.
288
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,316
Who's the guy?
Where's the house?
289
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,220
I brought pictures. Wait.
290
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,170
Here.
[GASPS]
291
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,220
That's my boss.
Cute, huh?
292
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:05,300
A little repressed, though.
293
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,373
What a head of hair!
And it's all his.
294
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,220
[GASPS]
295
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,250
Oh, that's the butler, Niles.
296
00:12:11,283 --> 00:12:13,373
A butler?
That's very
classy!
297
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,430
Val, it's like living
at Caesar's Palace.
298
00:12:17,183 --> 00:12:19,663
And the kids.
Yeah, well, you know.
299
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,480
They're gonna need
the most work.
300
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,430
I mean, that one's
got no personality.
301
00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:25,396
This one's
got multiple personalities.
302
00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:30,483
And Brighton...
303
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,370
Brighton?
Where's Brighton?
304
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,170
Are these dummies
anatomically correct?
305
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,830
What do you care?
306
00:12:37,116 --> 00:12:39,196
You're 10 years old.
Would you be normal?
307
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:42,220
Oh, cool! A cockroach.
308
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:44,150
Hey, you got any rats?
309
00:12:44,183 --> 00:12:46,453
Wait till Danny gets back.
310
00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:48,503
Where is he, anyway?
311
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:49,220
Getting his back waxed.
312
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:50,480
Oh, good.
So we got all day.
313
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,323
[SIGHS]
Okay, well.
314
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:56,500
We gotta make Maggie beautiful.
315
00:12:56,830 --> 00:12:57,230
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
316
00:12:57,266 --> 00:12:58,476
Shut up, Brighton!
317
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,320
Hey, be nicer to your sister.
318
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,250
Why, because we're a family?
319
00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:04,203
Yes, that's right,
and some day,
320
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:07,663
your father's gonna be
old and sick,
321
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,350
You're gonna want him
to live with her.
322
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,000
It's so fancy.
323
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,120
Everyone'll look at me.
324
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,500
So? They'll think
you're a beautiful girl.
325
00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:22,180
I-- I don't know.
326
00:13:22,216 --> 00:13:23,466
I'm not good at this
like you are.
327
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,500
Honey, that's what I'm here for.
328
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:28,200
What do you think?
You turn 14, and boom,
329
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,483
you've got the savoir faire
and sophistication
330
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,350
of a woman of my years
and experience?
331
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,280
Look, when I was 14...
332
00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:39,156
Oh, go try it on.
333
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,000
Who knew this job
would be so demanding?
334
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:45,120
Please! I'm exhausted!
335
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,133
[PIANO PLAYING]
336
00:13:54,216 --> 00:13:55,376
Has anyone told you
337
00:13:55,416 --> 00:13:57,426
how handsome
you look this evening?
338
00:13:57,466 --> 00:14:00,126
Maxwell, you're such a flirt.
339
00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:03,156
It's going rather
well,
don't you think?
340
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:04,180
Oh, it's perfect.
341
00:14:04,216 --> 00:14:06,246
The food is exquisite,
the music divine,
342
00:14:06,283 --> 00:14:09,333
and the guests
obscenely wealthy.
343
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:12,200
Doesn't Ivana look marvelous?
344
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:14,400
My surgeon, of course.
345
00:14:16,133 --> 00:14:18,503
Miss Fine would like
a word with you, sir.
346
00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:19,370
Really? Where is she?
347
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,160
FRAN: I'm up here.
348
00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:24,423
What's that?
349
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:27,350
That's... the nanny.
350
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,453
♪♪ Hey, hey, the lady in red ♪♪
351
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:34,283
♪♪ The fellas are crazy
For the lady in red... ♪♪
352
00:14:34,316 --> 00:14:36,246
Look at that dress.
353
00:14:36,283 --> 00:14:37,373
Maxwell!
354
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,450
You look... nice
too.
I said that.
355
00:14:40,483 --> 00:14:42,323
Handsome.
You said handsome.
356
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:46,503
You like?
I borrowed it from my cousin,
357
00:14:46,830 --> 00:14:48,000
Miss Long Island, 1989.
358
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:51,163
A very good year.
359
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:54,103
I just wanted to tell
you
the children are
ready.
360
00:14:54,133 --> 00:14:56,283
For what?
To come to the party.
361
00:14:56,316 --> 00:14:59,196
Miss Fine, the children
are not invited to the party.
362
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,433
They're not?
363
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,396
Oh, is my face red?
364
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:06,156
Well, now it matches
the rest of you.
365
00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:09,473
Oh, there's that rapier wit
we've come to count on.
366
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,470
Yes, now we've
all
met each other.
367
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,170
Why don't you
go back
upstairs
368
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,480
and inform the children
they can't come.
369
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,250
Hi, Daddy.
370
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,333
Oh, Miss Fine,
you play dirty.
371
00:15:19,366 --> 00:15:20,426
Hello, sweetheart.
372
00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:22,096
Do you like
my party dress?
373
00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:24,163
Loehmann's, 70% off.
374
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,280
She'll never
shop retail
again.
375
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,300
Hi, Dad. Surprised?
376
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:33,833
No tricks, Brighton.
377
00:15:33,116 --> 00:15:34,416
Best behavior.
Hmm.
378
00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:39,326
All right.
379
00:15:42,116 --> 00:15:44,326
Come on, Maggie.
Don't be shy,
honey.
380
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,250
My God. I had no idea how much
she looked like her mother.
381
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,150
Do you like it?
382
00:15:54,183 --> 00:15:56,183
Oh... you look so...
383
00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:58,270
so grown-up.
384
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,276
So, Daddy,
can we come to the party?
385
00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:06,376
Of course you can.
386
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,153
We'll discuss this later.
387
00:16:10,433 --> 00:16:12,663
Friends...
388
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:14,170
Friends, can I have
your attention,
please?
389
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:17,370
Before I tell you a little
about my latest production,
390
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,220
I'd like to introduce to you
391
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,480
the three greatest productions
of my life,
392
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:24,150
my dear children.
393
00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,320
Oh, isn't that sweet?
394
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:32,300
Couldn't you
just drop
dead?
395
00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:35,216
I don't know.
Could you?
396
00:16:36,383 --> 00:16:38,503
Let me take a picture.
397
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:39,430
Uh, Miss Fine,
I think you've done enough--
398
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,166
Lovely
family,
Sheffield.
399
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,470
Smile, everyone.
400
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,660
FRAN: Great!
401
00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:48,446
C.C.:
You might want to--
402
00:16:49,316 --> 00:16:50,446
keep a low profile.
403
00:16:50,483 --> 00:16:53,163
You're a little
out of your element here.
404
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:54,370
Oh, don't worry about me.
405
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,250
I've been
to my share of affairs.
406
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,133
My Uncle Jack threw
a weekend bar mitzvah
407
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,366
with aStar Trek
they're still talking about.
408
00:17:03,266 --> 00:17:05,656
Good night, Ivana!
409
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,150
Don't worry, honey.
You'll find someone else too.
410
00:17:10,383 --> 00:17:12,133
Niles, more.
411
00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:16,230
Well, do I count four zeros
on this check?
412
00:17:16,266 --> 00:17:17,996
All right.
I'll admit it.
413
00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:19,150
Having the children
here this evening
414
00:17:19,183 --> 00:17:21,183
wasn't the complete disaster
it might have been.
415
00:17:21,216 --> 00:17:23,326
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, you gush.
416
00:17:23,366 --> 00:17:25,396
All right, all right.
It went splendidly.
417
00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:27,383
Here, let me put that--
thank you--
418
00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:29,226
with the others.
419
00:17:29,266 --> 00:17:30,326
[SIGHS]
420
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:33,446
Well, congratulations,
Nanny Fine.
421
00:17:35,183 --> 00:17:37,663
It seems you pulled it off.
422
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,370
Oh, what could possibly go wrong
423
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,200
when you put a father together
with his children?
424
00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:44,253
I think I'm gonna be ill.
425
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,400
Maggie!
426
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:53,433
Daddy!
427
00:17:53,466 --> 00:17:55,096
Mr. Sheffield,
I was just--
428
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:57,003
You were
just
leaving!
429
00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:58,200
Right.
430
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,500
Eddie, wait!
431
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:01,660
Maggie?
432
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,160
Maggie, come back here!
433
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,180
Eddie!
434
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,396
Maggie.
435
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,160
How could you
embarrass me like that?
436
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,370
What's going on?
That-- that boy
437
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,230
was mauling her
on the balcony.
438
00:18:12,266 --> 00:18:13,396
It was just a kiss.
439
00:18:13,433 --> 00:18:15,153
He kissed you?
440
00:18:15,183 --> 00:18:17,833
Yeah.
Oh!
441
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:21,420
Your first kiss.
That's so exciting.
442
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:23,280
Let me get the camera.
443
00:18:25,283 --> 00:18:27,123
Miss Fine,
this is not exciting.
444
00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:29,350
It's appalling.
She's just a child.
445
00:18:29,383 --> 00:18:31,353
I am not!
She's not, you know.
446
00:18:31,383 --> 00:18:33,403
I think I'm
starting
to feel better.
447
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,150
Dad, I'm 14 years old.
448
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,233
You know,
when I was
14--
449
00:18:38,266 --> 00:18:40,246
Oh, maybe this
isn't the right
time.
450
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:44,300
Maggie, go to bed,
and take that makeup off.
451
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,120
Oh...
452
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:49,330
You!
Me?
453
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:51,100
Yes, you. This wouldn't
have happened without
you.
454
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:53,323
Yes, definitely
feeling better.
455
00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:55,160
What the hell did I do?
456
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,330
What did you do? You took
an innocent schoolgirl,
457
00:18:57,660 --> 00:18:59,000
you dolled her up,
and turned her
into--
458
00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:00,830
A young woman.
459
00:19:00,116 --> 00:19:01,466
She's just
a little
girl.
460
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,330
Get outta here. She's a woman,
I'm telling you
461
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,180
and unless you're gonna dip her
in bronze and stick her
462
00:19:06,216 --> 00:19:08,996
on the shelf with the rest
of your collectibles,
463
00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:10,180
she is going to grow up,
464
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,216
and somebody's gotta help her.
465
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:14,000
Oh, you are way out of line.
466
00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:15,180
She's not your child.
467
00:19:15,216 --> 00:19:16,366
That's right, she's not.
468
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,450
If she were, she wouldn't
be
upstairs crying right now
469
00:19:18,483 --> 00:19:20,223
on what should be
a very memorable
470
00:19:20,250 --> 00:19:21,420
and exciting evening.
471
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:23,480
Thank you for
your candor and
concern.
472
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,480
You're welcome!
You're fired.
473
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:28,380
Fired?
474
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:30,246
After all
that I've done for you,
475
00:19:30,283 --> 00:19:32,103
this is the thanks
that I get?
476
00:19:33,150 --> 00:19:35,430
You can't fire me,
Maxwell Sheffield.
477
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,176
I quit!
478
00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:41,656
No. You fired me.
479
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,150
That way,
I can collect unemployment.
480
00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:49,466
[KNOCKING]
481
00:19:50,383 --> 00:19:53,183
I drove Ms. Babcock home
and called Betty Ford.
482
00:19:53,216 --> 00:19:54,996
They'll pick her up
in the morning.
483
00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:58,200
Thank you, Niles.
484
00:19:58,233 --> 00:20:00,503
I noticed you didn't get
a chance to eat, sir.
485
00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:01,470
I thought you might
be a bit peckish.
486
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,320
I overreacted, didn't I?
487
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:07,350
Like Reagan in Grenada.
488
00:20:11,183 --> 00:20:12,423
It's just that...
489
00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:15,170
Maggie looked
so like her mother.
490
00:20:16,116 --> 00:20:17,996
I've already lost Sarah. I--
491
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,000
I didn't want to lose
my little girl.
492
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:22,420
I quite understand, sir.
493
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:29,200
What is this?
494
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:32,203
I believe Miss Fine calls it
"a light nosh."
495
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,270
It's delicious.
496
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,320
Miss Fine, eh?
497
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:37,370
Yes, sir.
498
00:20:39,830 --> 00:20:40,300
Just what you needed.
499
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:47,130
Niles, you're not talking
about the sandwich, are you?
500
00:20:48,283 --> 00:20:50,183
No, sir...
501
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:51,426
not the sandwich.
502
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:55,180
[CHUCKLES]
503
00:20:55,216 --> 00:20:57,496
Fran, you need a Mallomar?
504
00:20:57,830 --> 00:21:00,270
Oh, no, Ma. Food's not the
answer to everything.
505
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,480
Meanwhile,
your father and I have based
506
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,330
our entire relationship
around food.
507
00:21:05,366 --> 00:21:08,156
Passion goes. Sex goes.
508
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,660
Communication, we never had...
509
00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:13,830
but food is forever.
510
00:21:13,116 --> 00:21:14,246
Okay.
511
00:21:15,466 --> 00:21:17,276
Morty!
512
00:21:17,316 --> 00:21:19,396
You want another Mallomar?
513
00:21:21,316 --> 00:21:22,346
Morty!
514
00:21:22,383 --> 00:21:24,123
Ma, Daddy can't hear you.
515
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,660
He's watching the game.
516
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,370
Why can't I find a guy
like him,
517
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,160
deaf and on a pension.
518
00:21:32,316 --> 00:21:33,476
You will.
519
00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:37,170
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
I'll get it. I'll get it.
520
00:21:40,830 --> 00:21:41,400
Oh, God. Ma.
521
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:43,103
Mr. Sheffield.
522
00:21:43,133 --> 00:21:45,163
I'm sorry to disturb you,
Miss Fine.
523
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,420
I just wanted
to drop off
the rest of your things.
524
00:21:47,450 --> 00:21:50,220
You could never
disturb
anyone, darling.
525
00:21:51,350 --> 00:21:53,430
I'm Fran's mother, Sylvia.
526
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,330
Maxwell Sheffield.
527
00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,170
Come on in.
I'll make you some Ovaltine.
528
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,400
Oh, well, I'm sure
I'd love some,
529
00:22:00,433 --> 00:22:02,183
but I really can't stay.
530
00:22:02,216 --> 00:22:04,126
There's a mob surrounding
the limousine.
531
00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:05,476
Oh, I'll take care of that.
532
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,330
Wait a minute here.
533
00:22:07,366 --> 00:22:10,166
Get away from that limo!
Nobody died.
534
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,470
There's no vacancies.
535
00:22:12,433 --> 00:22:14,203
It's dog-eat-dog
536
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:17,503
when you got a two-bedroom
that's rent control.
537
00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:18,130
Have a seat.
538
00:22:18,166 --> 00:22:19,996
Here, wait a minute.
539
00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:23,226
Put on some blush.
540
00:22:23,266 --> 00:22:25,426
Ma, can we have
a little
privacy?
541
00:22:25,466 --> 00:22:27,346
All right.
I can take a hint.
542
00:22:27,383 --> 00:22:30,373
Mr. Sheffield,enchantée.
543
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,400
You have plastic
on your furniture.
544
00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:40,376
Yeah. They're
preserving
it for the afterlife.
545
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:44,400
How's Maggie?
546
00:22:44,433 --> 00:22:46,173
Well, she isn't speaking to me,
547
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,380
but Brighton tells me
she's fine.
548
00:22:48,416 --> 00:22:50,366
Brighton?
Yes.
549
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,230
He's been surprisingly
attentive to her.
550
00:22:53,266 --> 00:22:55,156
Wouldn't tell me why.
551
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,270
Kept saying something
about me getting old
552
00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,100
and where I'd live.
553
00:23:00,433 --> 00:23:02,233
Kids.
Hmm.
554
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:07,196
I'm sorry things
didn't work out.
555
00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:10,233
Oh, look, I mean, uh...
556
00:23:10,266 --> 00:23:12,466
you and I, we come
from very different
worlds.
557
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,230
I mean, if I were
you,
and I hired me...
558
00:23:17,133 --> 00:23:19,163
I'd be thrilled.
Who's kidding who?
559
00:23:21,660 --> 00:23:22,300
Yes, but you're not me.
560
00:23:23,660 --> 00:23:25,400
As a matter of fact,
you're not like anyone
else
I've ever met...
561
00:23:25,433 --> 00:23:28,223
which is not altogether
a bad thing...
562
00:23:29,216 --> 00:23:30,426
necessarily.
563
00:23:31,316 --> 00:23:35,096
Perhaps if we tried to respect
each other's differences,
564
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:38,270
we could give it another go?
565
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:40,250
Are you asking me to come back?
566
00:23:41,450 --> 00:23:43,180
So it seems.
567
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:46,330
So, what you're
really saying is
568
00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:49,660
you feel terrible about
this whole damn thing,
569
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:51,130
and if you could,
you'd get down on
your hands and knees
570
00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:52,276
and apologize.
571
00:23:52,316 --> 00:23:54,396
Miss Fine--
Apology accepted!
572
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,203
Ma, pack my
things.
He wants me back!
573
00:23:57,233 --> 00:23:58,353
Smile!
574
00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:12,353
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
37555
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