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0
00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:06,364
- Good morning, loved ones!
- Nice outfit.
1
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:09,203
Where's your giant,
foam-rubber Wolverine head?
2
00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:12,242
Don't be silly.
You can't get those anymore.
3
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:14,609
Yes, I realize I am dressed up.
4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:18,048
But you see, to a Michigan fan,
football is a religion.
5
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:21,884
And the Ohio State game,
well, that's our Easter.
6
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,515
- So that reminds me...
- I like your clothes, Dad.
7
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,855
- Thank you.
- "I like your clothes, Dad."
8
00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:29,861
Guys, please.
This is my one sacred day of the year.
9
00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:32,898
There's a sale
on blue and gold body paint.
10
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:36,732
You could smear it all over your body
and watch the game in the nude.
11
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,698
My people call it blue and maize.
12
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,799
Not really good colors on you.
You're more of a...
13
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,434
I know, I'm more of a spring.
14
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,377
A spring? Ha! You wish.
He's such a winter.
15
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:51,076
Back to the plan. I am commandeering
the television set all day,
16
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,881
starting with the
first pre-game show. Got it?
17
00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:55,181
- All right.
- Whatever.
18
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:59,487
- [zapping on video game]
- Rory, that means no video games.
19
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,722
You kidding? I don't wanna
watch a violent sport like football.
20
00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:06,122
Hey, I killed 'em!
I killed 'em all!
21
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:07,962
Off! Off!
22
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:12,166
Bridget, did you
borrow my beige purse?
23
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:15,366
Yeah, to go with my beige
double-knit jumpsuit.
24
00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:18,677
Wow, very nice.
25
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:22,408
You know, first grad school seminar.
I want to make a good impression.
26
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:25,576
How? By turning on all the guys?
I don't think so.
27
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:30,612
You march upstairs, young lady, and
don't come down until you look frumpy.
28
00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:33,419
Which I realize
is virtually impossible.
29
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,654
Come on, Paul, I'm nervous enough.
30
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:38,094
I haven't set foot
in a classroom in 16 years.
31
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,632
- You're gonna do great.
- Wow, 16 years.
32
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,793
That's like my entire life.
33
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:47,768
I'm aware of that, Bridget.
34
00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:49,501
And there's a connection.
35
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,610
- Why are you dressed like that?
- It's Easter.
36
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:56,012
The Ohio State game.
Why didn't you say something?
37
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:59,245
Because you've been dreaming
about your Master's forever.
38
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:02,755
And, you know, it's not like I go
to the game every year or anything.
39
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,313
- Yes, you do.
- Yes, I do, but, honey,
40
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:07,222
you've been waiting for this day.
41
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,454
I can raise these kids
with my eyes closed.
42
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,760
You just leave out some food
and crack the window a bit.
43
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:15,300
Yet you cannot even
put your dish in the sink?
44
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:19,134
Handled. Kids, put my dish
in the sink. See, I'm on fire.
45
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,472
I'm completely reassured.
46
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:25,938
I have my cell phone
if there's any problems.
47
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:29,277
Like there's a fire and your dad
won't get up or a pipe bursts
48
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,510
and your dad won't get up.
Or locusts...
49
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:34,075
Locusts!
I would get up for locusts.
50
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,714
- I mean it, call me.
- Not gonna happen. Here.
51
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:40,225
OK, just make sure that Kerry
doesn't mope around all day.
52
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:43,456
Oh, and get Rory away
from that video and out of the house.
53
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,326
No moping, video games.
No problem.
54
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:48,161
Oh, and keep Bridget off the phone
and out of the mall.
55
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,395
I'm a man, not a miracle worker.
56
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:15,755
[announcer on TV indistinct]
57
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,592
I'm bored.
When's the game gonna be over?
58
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,826
Are you serious?
It hasn't started yet.
59
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:28,305
I don't want you playing video games.
You can't just sit and vegetate.
60
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,604
Yeah, Dad's already doing that.
61
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:31,644
And parenting.
62
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:34,975
Now, come on everybody, quiet down.
I want to watch the game.
63
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,984
- Go outside and get some fresh air.
- OK, I'll go ride my skateboard.
64
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,816
Go ride your skateboard.
Be sure to wear your helmet
65
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:45,948
and your elbow pads and your knee...
At least I said it.
66
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:50,486
- Daddy, which do you like better?
- I love all my children the same.
67
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,930
Oh, you mean the pants?
Bridget, I'm trying to watch...
68
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,094
- You care what I think?
- Take the fashion show outside.
69
00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:00,196
Those of us who can
are trying to read.
70
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,901
See, Kerry,
it can matter how you dress.
71
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,342
- I mean, if you have hips.
- You have zits?
72
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,574
- No, no, I said hips.
- You mean like childbearing hips.
73
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:11,172
- Shut up!
- Don't talk to your sister like that.
74
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,014
- You always take her side!
- I don't.
75
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,522
- Yeah, OK, you never take my side.
- I take your side a lot.
76
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,079
- Like all the time.
- No.
77
00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:20,853
Name one time you've taken my side.
78
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:25,027
I have lots of times in my mind,
79
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,726
but I'm not gonna dignify that
with a response.
80
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,360
- I'm waiting.
- OK, OK. The red ones.
81
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,132
Finally. Dad likes these.
They're perfect for you.
82
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:36,266
I hate you
and your stupid red pants.
83
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,572
Girls, don't kill each other!
84
00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:41,570
At least I said it.
85
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,882
Check this out, Bear,
they're recapping the '78 season.
86
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,514
My whole fraternity
went to every game that year.
87
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,181
[groans]
88
00:04:57,664 --> 00:05:00,132
- Something wrong?
- No.
89
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,825
Wow.
90
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:07,339
Something's bothering you.
What is it, Care Bear?
91
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:13,578
- I just saw this ad.
- Hey, the Big Top's in town.
92
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:17,511
My little girl
wants to go to the circus,
93
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,585
but you're too embarrassed to ask.
94
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:24,245
Monkey. You want to see the monkeys.
95
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,848
It's disgusting.
96
00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:30,362
The way they treat circus animals
is cruel and your paper's promoting it!
97
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,523
- Uh-huh.
- Dad!
98
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,061
God, you never care about
what I care about!
99
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,797
I do. And I'll care even more
when this game's over.
100
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,373
Unbelievable!
101
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,877
God, you know, would it kill you
to take the time to listen to me?
102
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:48,311
Hey, I always have time to listen
to you. Just not right now.
103
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,539
[phone ringing]
104
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,380
- You're like the worst father ever.
- I heard that.
105
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:56,183
See, I do listen.
106
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,883
- Hello?
- Listen to who?
107
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:01,518
Um... Kerry. We were having
a heart-to-heart.
108
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:05,030
- [Kerry] Hate! Hate! Hate!
- She says hi, hi, hi.
109
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,566
- So how is everything?
- Well, I just got here.
110
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:11,399
I forgot to pick up my allergy medicine.
Could you drop by the pharmacy?
111
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:14,804
Oh, man.
You know I hate buying that stuff.
112
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:18,207
No, no, no, it's really
allergy medicine this time.
113
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:22,811
OK, yeah, I'll get it for you, Cate.
114
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,841
It's hard... You're breaking up now.
Call me later, bye-bye.
115
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:32,580
I'm studying with Courtney. I remembered
my cell phone and I need $40.
116
00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:35,718
You need $40 to study?
No, no. No.
117
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,355
No, no, no, no, no.
No mall today.
118
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,557
- What gave it away?
- The $40.
119
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:44,660
Cupcake, I'm not inclined to let you
go somewhere if you lie to me about it.
120
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:49,174
- OK, can I go to the mall?
- See, doesn't the truth feel better?
121
00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:51,833
No, you can't go.
122
00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:55,404
Dad, I promised Courtney.
You asking me to go back on my word?
123
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:58,814
I will, but that is such bad parenting.
124
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:02,651
I don't have time to explain to you
everything wrong with that statement.
125
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:06,089
So you have this
obsessive-compulsive need to shop?
126
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:10,526
OK. Go pick up your mother's
allergy medicine at the drugstore.
127
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,087
Oh, Dad, grow up.
Pick it up yourself.
128
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,862
No, it's really allergy medicine
this time.
129
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,960
- Dad!
- Come on, take it or leave it.
130
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:21,234
Fine. Like I want to sit
with Psycho Sister babbling
131
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:23,537
about the poor
unfortunate circus animals.
132
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:26,578
I mean, God, maybe the bears
wanna dance, OK?
133
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:29,280
It beats catching fish with your hands.
134
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:31,976
Bridget. Bye-bye, Bridget.
135
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:38,153
- Kerry, sweetheart.
- [announcer on TV] Holy Toledo,
136
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:40,954
Henderson's got it at the 15,
jukes to the 20!
137
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,996
He's got some blocking
down at the 30.
138
00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:46,564
Fumbles! Who's got the ball?
139
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,935
- Kerry? Care Bear?
- [Kerry] Go away!
140
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,975
Honey, I just wanted to...
141
00:07:57,076 --> 00:08:01,604
[announcer on TV] I don't believe it!
Michigan recovers! Michigan recovers!
142
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:07,812
- You just wanted to what?
- Talk.
143
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,752
OK. What?
144
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,655
Honey, if it'll make you feel
any better, I'm sorry.
145
00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:16,884
For what?
146
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,362
I don't know.
147
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,836
[announcer on TV] Look out!
And he's gone!
148
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:31,672
Touchdown!
Michigan goes back up on top!
149
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,507
Touchdown! Yes! Yes!
150
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:37,140
- And there's a flag down on the play.
- No! No, flag!
151
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,645
Dad, can I talk to you a minute?
152
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,984
- Can't talk.
- It's about sex.
153
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:48,318
Do I have to break out
the health book again?
154
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:51,488
- If it's not too much trouble.
- I thought we had this talk.
155
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:55,728
You did. I'll never forget
the giggling coming from his room.
156
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:59,636
I couldn't help it.
You should've seen the look on his face.
157
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:03,333
- I'm not talking to you.
- Ha! You just did.
158
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,606
So, what's on your mind, buddy?
159
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,983
My body feels weird
when I look at girls.
160
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:16,147
- What's going on with me, Dad?
- Well, it's a rough time, sport.
161
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,349
I remember when I was 13.
162
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:22,758
Boy, they had ads in the back
of comic books on how to get girls
163
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:27,162
through hypnosis and X-ray specs.
164
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,396
Total rip-offs. Anyway...
165
00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:33,836
Level 12! I got to level 12!
I've never been to level 12!
166
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,237
What do you think you're doing?
167
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:40,074
I'm just trying to take
my mind off my problem.
168
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,846
- Outside!
- I'm sorry.
169
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,247
God!
170
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,345
[announcer] Oh, Singletary really
puts a hurt on Temerit.
171
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,980
Knocked his helmet clean off.
172
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,216
Total interference!
173
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:56,057
[announcer 2] They better make sure his
head's not still in there. [laughing]
174
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,925
Shut up! Not funny.
175
00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,999
- [phone ringing]
- Not gonna get that.
176
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,558
[Rory on machine]
You've reached the Hennessys.
177
00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:06,264
If calling Paul, Cate or Rory,
please leave a message.
178
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,502
If calling for Bridget or Kerry,
you have the wrong number.
179
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,133
[man] This is Brenner's Drugs.
180
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:13,678
I'm calling for the parents
of Bridget Hennessy.
181
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:16,510
We're detaining her for shoplifting.
182
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:22,078
[announcer on TV radio indistinct]
183
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,785
- How could you do this?
- Dad, I...
184
00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:27,620
Don't even! Thank you
for calling me and not the cops.
185
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,217
She will never do this again.
186
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:33,857
At least not here. Everybody on our
wall of shame is permanently banned.
187
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:37,094
- Dad, I swear...
- Don't talk to me, you are in trouble.
188
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:40,935
[announcer] That closes the door on the
best half of football I've ever seen!
189
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,134
Big trouble. Come on.
190
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,740
- Bridget!
- I'm not talking about it!
191
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,375
- You are talking about this.
- What is the point?
192
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:56,751
- You've made up your mind I'm guilty.
- They caught you taking lipstick!
193
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:59,382
I would never buy lipstick
at a drugstore.
194
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:02,783
Nobody's accusing you of buying it.
195
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:05,626
That's why your picture
is up on their wall of shame.
196
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,790
I cannot believe you.
I'm calling Mom.
197
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,334
- And ruin her day?
- Your day?
198
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,735
- You've already done that.
- Dad, if you really want to apologize,
199
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:15,774
write a column on your paper's
pro-animal-cruelty stance.
200
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:19,937
All they did was run an ad
for children of all ages.
201
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,273
I knew you wouldn't.
I'm calling Mom.
202
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,785
- Me first.
- Does everyone have a cell phone?
203
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,787
- How much am I paying for these?
- You get the phones free.
204
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,016
I bet you do.
No, you're not calling Mom.
205
00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:36,185
This is a very important day for her.
We're not gonna make it any harder.
206
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:41,029
- Are you gonna write the article?
- I don't have time to deal with you.
207
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,863
Oh, right, I forgot.
208
00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:46,200
I was caring about animals while
you watched your football game.
209
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:49,173
I am not watching the game.
It's about Bridget.
210
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:52,142
Oh, I should have known.
It's always about Bridget.
211
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,112
Bridget's problems
are always more important than mine.
212
00:11:55,181 --> 00:12:00,346
"Oh, my God, Daddy,
my shoe strap broke! What do I do?"
213
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,117
Bridget got busted for shoplifting.
214
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,022
She did?
215
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:10,985
I did not shoplift. And thanks
for telling everyone my business!
216
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,156
- Who shoplifted?
- I did not!
217
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,666
- I told you to go outside.
- No way.
218
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,831
People are gonna point and say,
"There goes the shoplifter's brother."
219
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,372
You are such a brat.
220
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,204
- Bridget! Bridget, you get back here!
- [phone rings]
221
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:26,210
- Nobody move!
- Stay inside, got it.
222
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:29,839
- Nobody move? What's wrong?
- Somebody was offsides. How ya doing?
223
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,610
- Let me talk to her.
- No, no, no.
224
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,413
- No?
- No, offsides again.
225
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,454
The penalties are killing us.
226
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:38,717
You're gonna hate prison.
Everyone will dress like you.
227
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,281
Stop it!
228
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:43,260
Paul, what is going on?
Do you need some help?
229
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:46,389
- Everything is fine.
- Good, because the people I'm with
230
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:50,026
- want to go watch the rest of the game.
- I'm having fun. You should.
231
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:53,401
Listen, everything
is under control here. Bye, love you.
232
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:56,737
- You are so out of control here.
- I'm out of control? You are!
233
00:12:56,809 --> 00:13:00,768
- Are you gonna write the article?
- I can't deal with this now.
234
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:03,713
- As long as you're not watching...
- Get outside!
235
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:08,186
That's a lovely outfit, Bridget.
Where did you get it?
236
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:11,654
- You gave it to me.
- Really? I've never seen it before.
237
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,885
Oh, I knew Mom put your name
on the card!
238
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:17,122
- I love how I'm on trial here.
- How much time does it take
239
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:18,424
to step into a store?
240
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:20,863
Longer, if you actually
pay for the item.
241
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,963
You really think I would shoplift?
242
00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,561
Here it is.
Poor little innocent Bridget.
243
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,802
It's bad enough that you stole,
but to stand there and lie.
244
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,343
I thought you had
more character than that.
245
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:36,745
- Fine! I don't care what you think.
- Come back! We're not done talking!
246
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,078
[door slams]
247
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,118
Go to your room!
248
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:44,781
- Dad?
- Kerry, I am on my knees.
249
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:49,226
I really, really can't talk
about circus animals right now.
250
00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:52,787
Do you really
think Bridget would steal?
251
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,802
There's a lot of bad things
that you don't know about.
252
00:13:56,869 --> 00:14:00,327
There's a list as long as your arm.
But stealing, it isn't one of them.
253
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,432
- There's a list as long as my arm?
- At least. But she...
254
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,773
- So what's on the list?
- I'm not telling you!
255
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:09,747
- Come on, just get me up to my wrist.
- See, that is exactly the problem.
256
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:12,579
- You don't listen.
- I don't listen?
257
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,654
I mean, God, that thing
about the animals really upset me,
258
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:18,120
but you ignore me,
'cause I'm the middle child.
259
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,590
- Now, listen. Come on, Bridget...
- Kerry!
260
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,627
I mean... I'm saying Bridget.
261
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,630
With her around here,
it was like a three-ring circus.
262
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,758
- Dad!
- Sorry, no circus, come here. Kerry.
263
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:32,201
I really do care about what's
important to you. I always have.
264
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,239
- Right.
- No, come here, come here.
265
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:35,671
Listen, honey.
266
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:44,573
I know you've always loved animals.
And I adore that about you.
267
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:48,086
I remember when you were five,
and you had just started to read,
268
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:52,249
you came to me heartbroken
and crying one day.
269
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:56,818
You said, "Daddy, I just saw a sign
on the corner and it said 'Last Dog."'
270
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,864
- Do you remember this?
- Kind of.
271
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:03,025
Anyway, you were sobbing because
you thought there weren't going to be
272
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:05,593
any more dogs.
273
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,130
And I hugged you and I laughed.
274
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:12,507
I said, "Honey, it didn't say
'Last Dog.' It said 'Lost Dog."'
275
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,446
And then you started
sobbing all over again.
276
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,346
Because he was lost.
277
00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:22,750
- You found him, right?
- Yes, of course I did.
278
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:25,585
That's what I said, didn't I?
I said that I found him
279
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,592
and I'm sure he's still on that farm
280
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:31,892
running and barking and playing
with all the other little doggies.
281
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,299
He's dead, isn't he?
282
00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:40,595
Well, by now.
I mean, it was a long time ago!
283
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,570
Oh, God.
284
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,077
Dad?
285
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,441
How'd you get up there?
Never mind. I don't even want to know.
286
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,446
What is it, Rory?
What could be so important?
287
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,649
Bridget's crying.
288
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,330
[knocking on door]
289
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,465
Beach?
290
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,873
Good idea, I'll start.
291
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,404
Honey, I'm...
292
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:23,372
I'm sorry I accused you
without listening to your side.
293
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:28,477
I guess it was the shock of seeing
your picture up on that wall of shame.
294
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:31,717
- That doesn't make it true.
- I know. So why don't you...
295
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,587
Tell me what really happened.
296
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:34,989
[sighs]
297
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:39,827
OK, we stopped in cosmetics because
if we had to do this thing for you,
298
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:43,732
then we might as well have fun, and
I've never found eye shadow that works
299
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:46,464
with my combination skin.
"Last all night color"?
300
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:50,599
- That is a laugh. I get it from Mom.
- Is this leading to the picture?
301
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:53,008
Courtney was stuffing
a lipstick in her bag.
302
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:56,570
I was stunned. "What are you doing?"
And she's all, "Everybody does it."
303
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:59,276
I'm all, "It's stealing."
She's all, "You're a wuss."
304
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,046
- You're all...
- I'm all, "No!"
305
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:05,250
I put it back myself, then she grabs it
and stuffs it in her fake Fendi baguette
306
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:08,350
and this clerk shows up
and it turns into this ugly scene.
307
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:10,987
So you didn't take the lipstick?
308
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:13,031
No! Dad, it was coral.
309
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:16,962
I can't wear coral.
Look at me. Hello, I'm a summer.
310
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:22,133
- That's all I needed to hear.
- Peach. Maybe tangerine too, but...
311
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,539
That's all I needed to hear.
312
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:28,171
Dad, I know you don't think I care
about what you think of me,
313
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:32,616
- but I really want you to trust me.
- I do, Bridget, I really do.
314
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,709
- So we're good now?
- No.
315
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,052
No? I said I believe you.
316
00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:41,854
Yeah, but you totally bailed on me.
You dragged me out of that store.
317
00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:45,693
I was humiliated. Like having my picture
on the wall wasn't bad enough.
318
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:47,493
- Dad?
- What?
319
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:49,898
It's happening again.
320
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:52,994
My body's doing strange
and wonderful things.
321
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,206
- I'm so confused.
- OK! Go play your video games.
322
00:17:57,276 --> 00:18:00,404
OK! Thanks, Dad!
323
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:05,047
- Excuse me, I was here earlier.
- You're the shoplifter's father.
324
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:07,483
That was a mistake.
She doesn't belong there.
325
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,021
- None of them do.
- My daughter is innocent.
326
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,613
I know. They all are.
327
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:14,022
Listen, pal, I've had a hard day.
328
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:18,393
I had to watch the game of the century
on a two-inch television screen.
329
00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:21,490
It was the game of the century?
No, wait, wait.
330
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,866
Did you actually see my girl
take the lipstick?
331
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:27,872
Yeah, you heard me.
Did you see it?
332
00:18:27,973 --> 00:18:31,465
You can't always catch 'em red-handed.
And she gave me attitude.
333
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:34,637
Try living with her.
But that doesn't make her a criminal.
334
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:37,238
- Take down the picture.
- You'd better leave.
335
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:42,253
I'm not leaving.
You take the picture down or I will.
336
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:53,289
- Bridgie, look what I have.
- I gotta go.
337
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:56,892
- Oh, you're the best.
- I got it down before anybody saw it.
338
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,994
Are you saying I don't look good?
339
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,198
Bridget, I am trying my best here.
340
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:04,208
I went to the pharmacy
and I gave the clerk an earful.
341
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:07,211
- Please, meet me halfway.
- I'll let you off the hook,
342
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:08,303
on one condition.
343
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:11,406
- Heather's having a party this weekend.
- Parents?
344
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,646
No parents, but she's responsible.
Her cousin is a Marine.
345
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,484
He'll be there with his buddies,
so we'll be safe.
346
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:21,652
I was worried, but as long as there's
gonna be Marines with school girls...
347
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,456
- Have enough booze?
- Thanks!
348
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:26,089
- That was Daddy's way of saying no way.
- Too late.
349
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:30,157
Mom, how was class? Stay off the phone.
I'm calling Heather.
350
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:33,534
- Hi, I had such a great day!
- Did ya?
351
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:41,441
I was smart and I made new friends,
and what about that game?
352
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:45,950
I don't usually watch football, and even
I knew I was watching something special.
353
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,384
Yeah. I waited all year for it.
354
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:51,650
Well, I can see everything's
pretty much the way I left it.
355
00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:56,888
It was a very challenging day, Cate.
I must say, I rose to the challenge.
356
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,624
I should be inducted
into the Father Hall of Fame.
357
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,633
And yet you couldn't
put your dish in the sink.
358
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,261
I'm sorry, honey. I was very busy.
359
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:10,899
"Did you get my prescription?"
she asked, knowing the answer: "No."
360
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:15,003
Uh, your prescription.
After all that. I'll go now.
361
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,207
No, no, it's OK, I owe you for today.
362
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:22,117
Get a head start putting that dish in
the sink and I'll help when I get back.
363
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:25,350
Cate, you don't happen to know
the score of the game, do you?
364
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:28,483
Oh, come on, Paul.
365
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,696
Hennessy.
366
00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:41,631
Hennessy?
367
00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:43,703
Yeah.
368
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,257
[man on TV] Stay tuned
for complete game highlights
369
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:11,859
of today's game of the century.
370
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,963
Dad, this thing
about Bridget and lipstick
371
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,406
started me thinking
about animal testing.
372
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:20,036
They test cosmetics
on rabbits, you know?
373
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:23,673
And that started me thinking
about Mr. Wiggles.
374
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:28,516
I couldn't stand to think if he was
in a cage somewhere with lipstick on.
31820
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