All language subtitles for The Nanny s05 e21

Some water?

[whimpers]

You know, Fran,
it's boiling in here.

If Mr. Sheffield's
having auditions,

why don't you just put
on the air conditioner?

Val, I'm not gonna have a bunch
of chorus girls auditioning

for my future husband
in a place that might be nippy.

Fran, don't be so insecure.

These women wanna be famous
in the theater.

Not famous for marrying
a millionaire husband.

Oh, my God,
there's Marla Maples.

-Oh, hello, Ms. Maples.
-Hi.

-I'm Fran Fine. This is Val.
-Hi.

-Hi.
-Oh, I must say,

I am just so sorry
about you and the you-know-who.

But I'm sure that you must have
met someone already

and you're completely
unavailable.

Oh, honey, I am not about to go
jump into another relationship.

I am on my own
and I've got my career going on.

Oh, yeah, yeah, well, you know.
It's really none of my business.

Break a leg.

You see, Fran?
She's not after Mr. Sheffield.

Shh! Val!

You thought I was after Maxwell?
[laughs]

[both laughing]

Me and Max
were over a long time ago.

Say what, now?

Well, back when me
and you-know-who were separated,

Max and I had a little, um...

Oh, you know.

No, I don't know.
Embellish, bubbie.

Well, we sort of, uh...
Well, we had a...

Well, we really flirted a lot.
[chuckles]

Who knows, if things
had been different, maybe...

Ms. Maples,
Mr. Sheffield asked me

to tell you
that he's very sorry,

but the part's been cast.

He will however keep you in mind
for roles in the future.

You know what they say,
one door closes, another opens.

Oh, look at that. [laughs]

I have not waited
around five years

for some little shiksa
to come in and ruin my wedding.

-Oh! Thank you, Niles.
-[chuckles]

You know, you could be Ma
if it weren't for the whiskers.

-Although...
-[chuckles]

If anyone needs me,

I'll be upstairs
preparing the guest room.

-Oh, why? Who's coming?
-Mr. Sheffield's brother, Nigel.

-He's arriving any minute.
-Oh, that's great

because, you know,
we haven't seen Nigel

since I almost ran off
and married him on the boat.

I know. Oh, my God, Fran.

-What are you gonna do?
-I don't know.

You know,
I've kept this whole thing

a secret from Maxwell
all this time.

I'd keep going with that.

Oh, my God. That's him.

What am I gonna do?
Okay, now wait. Don't panic.

Calm down. Calm down. All right,
look. You know what?

It happened
a year and a half ago.

Right.

-We're adults.
-Yeah.

We'll act like nothing happened.

-That's all. Okay.
-[Val] Yeah.

-Hi.
-Hello, darling.

So, how have you been?

♪ She was working
in a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell makeup
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair
she was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪

Oh, darling,
you look even hotter

than the last time I saw you.

Aah! Ow! [exclaims]

Are you crazy?

What happened between you and me
is over and in the past.

My heart now belongs to Maxwell.

So would you knock it off
with the "darling" stuff?

But baby, you're the love
of my life.

-Aww!
-Poor Nigel,

how I have devastated you.

But you're just going to have
to get on with your life.

No matter how difficult it is.

Haha.Bonjour!

Oh, Fran, meet Genevièève.
The love of my life.

Oh well, that was
a quick recovery.

Oh, you must be so happy
to marry again, no?

Oh, actually,
this is my first time.

Really? How old are you?

Mm. Well, I don't know
the metric conversion.

Listen, I gotta talk to you.
You cannot breathe a word

-to your brother...
-Nigel!

Oh, yeah, look who's here.
Nigel's here.

We were just making out. Up, up!

Making up for lost time.

-Congratulations, you old dog!
-Thank you.

-This is Genevièève.
-Hello.

-Hello.
-Genevièève is the girl

-with whom Nigel is involved.
-Oh.

You know what, Fran?
I think I should go.

I'm afraid I might slip

-and say something...
-All right, Val. Go, go.

Goodbye, Val, bye.

-Oh, so you're Fran.
-Yes.

Now I remember.
She is the girl you almost...

Oh! Now, Genevièève's gonna go.
It's jet lag, honey.

Take her to her room.
Bye, Genevièève.

Maxwell, we have three dancers
to see.

Nigel, I didn't know
you were coming.

Yeah. C.C.'s been away.
On holiday.

Oh, yes, I heard.
You went crackers.

-Nigel.
-No, Maxwell.

It's quite all right.

They told us the most important
part of our recovery

is admitting
that we have a problem.

The truth is, I was fine

and I'm suing the hell out
of those quacks.

Nigel, if you'll excuse us,

I have these auditions
to attend to,

-but I'll see you at dinner.
-Okay.

Yeah, okay. Well, we'll see you
at supper.

Don't you worry about us.

Nigel. Nigel. You can't breathe
a word of this to Maxwell

because he doesn't know about

you and I almost running off
and getting married together

and we have a very honest
and trusting relationship,

but you don't have that
relationship with him

so you can lie through
your teeth.

Darling, darling, don't worry.

We don't share anything.
We're English.

-Oh! Oh!
-If I started telling Max

about all the birds
I was in love with,

well, we'd be here all year.

Oh, well, thanks.
You meant a lot to me too.

[chuckles]

-Just sign here, sir.
-There we are.

-Thank you.
-Right.

Oh, Niles, I just heard
that Maxwell

asked Nigel to be his best man.

Oh, but don't let
it get you down.

You'll always be
the bride's maid. [laughs]

I'm not a bit upset
that he chose his brother.

If anything, I expected you
to be the best man.

Another wedding gift, Ms. Fine.

Oh, my God, look.

It's a box from Tiffany.

His side.

Oh, no. It's a blender
from Costco.

-Our side.
-Our side.

You know, at my wedding,
in the old country,

I got a blender, too.

Her name was Pola.

She could take an apple
in her bare hand

and squeeze the juice
right into the glass.

So, Fran, have you decided
on the band

that you wanna play
at your wedding?

-Well...
-Your Aunt Marilyn

wants her son's Hasidic
heavy metal band to play.

What kind of a name
is "Smashing Pupiks" anyway?

Oh, come on. Every man has a
bachelor party. It's tradition.

Yeah, Dad, it's tradition.

Uh, would you excuse us
a minute, Grace, please?

You're asking me to leave?

I have to explain
Dawson's Creek

Come on, Fran, tell him.

A bachelor party
doesn't bother you, right?

You want me to encourage him
to go to a party

with naked women

dancing and pressing themselves
up against him?

Oh, I think that's so degrading
to women.

Quite frankly, I find it
a complete turn-off.

I think you should have one.

Yes. We're gonna have
a bachelor party!

-Yeah.
-And you're too young to come.

Fran, I cannot believe
you're letting him have one.

I mean, they're so degrading
to women.

Me, I'm not comfortable

with my Sammy
looking at other girls.

Yetta, Sammy is blind.

Yeah, but he sees
with his hands.

-You're very naive, darling.
-Why?

I know a man
who canceled the wedding

because he ran off with the girl
who came out of the cake.

-Who?
-Daddy.

Well, isn't that ironic?

You were in the cake
and now the cake's in you.

[cackles]

Oh, Ma, I trust Maxwell.

Besides, he is just so uptight.

I mean, he can't even bring
himself to peel the skin

off of a breast of chicken.

So get this, right?
They blow up this pool

and then these girls fill it
with this green gelatin.

Oh, and you know what they say,

"There's always room
for gelatin."

I wanna go. I love jiggly stuff.

Oh, Ma, I trust Maxwell.

You heard him. He doesn't have
any interest in this stuff.

He's only doing it
to humor Nigel.

Yeah, and I went to Hershey,
Pennsylvania to see the Amish.

[dance music playing]

Well, of course, Nigel,

you realize it's a brand new
computer system.

They're still trying work out
all the jugs, bugs!

You said "jugs," bro.

I know what I said.

Come on, Max, you're having
a good time. Admit it.

Well, I'm not denying
it does have a certain...

Wow, is she built like a brick?

...charm to it.

But let's face it, it is totally
bereft of any dignity.

Fabulous party, sir.

Fabulous.

Well, big brother.

Here's to your final week
of freedom.

-Better thee than me.
-[clink]

Oh, now, wait a minute, Nigel.

Now, Fran is a wonderful woman.

You don't know
what you're missing.

To the future
Mrs. Maxwell Sheffield.

[exclaims] Hear, hear.

-Mm. To my future wife.
-Cheers.

Mm. You know,
she could just as easily

have been your sister-in-law

if she accepted my proposal
last time I was here.

-Abso-bloody-lutely.
-Yup.

-What?
-Well, you're a lucky man, Max.

If she had met me on the boat
like we planned,

-she'd be my wife today.
-[clink]

You proposed to Fran?

Surprise!

You almost married my brother?

See you.

Why won't you listen to me?

I told you that nothing happened
between me and Nigel.

I find it hard to believe
that a man and a woman

could spend so much
time together

with so much sexual tension,
without anything happening.

Really? I don't.

I just can't believe
you and Nigel were...

While you and I were...
You know.

No, I don't know,
because technically,

you and I were nothing
because you were so scared

you couldn't even make up
your mind about what we weren't.

But, but you knew how I felt
about you.

Well, I thought I did when
you told me that you loved me.

But then you took it back.

Oh!

Why do you always have
to bring that up?

Why? Does it make you feel bad
and guilty?

-Yes.
-Well, that's why

I always have to bring it up.

-A-ha! And there he is.
-Oh, come on, Max.

You're overreacting.

How was I supposed to know
you were in love with Fran?

You never paid her
any attention.

You said flat-out there was
nothing going on between you.

Don't you know what that means?

How long have you known me?

Well, you know,
to be quite honest,

I mean, you are not the most
communicative person...

I would tread very lightly
right now if I were you.

Treading lightly.
Treading lightly.

Well, obviously, I can't get
through to you, so I'm leaving

and I'm taking the woman
that I love.

Nigel, I don't love you.

Now, get it through your head
already and let it go.

Oh, you're talking about
Frenchy. Yeah, go get her.

Come on, honey, let's sit down
and talk about this.

No, I, uh, I don't have anything
to say to you, Fran.

You have plunged a knife
into my heart and twisted it.

Are you sure there's no
Jewish blood in you?

I just can't believe you could
do something like this

and then not have the character
to tell me about it.

[sighs]

Thank you, officer.

Did somebody forget something
at the party?

He loves me not.

He loves me not.

He loves me not.

Oh, Ma.

Darling, your eyes are all red.
Have you been crying?

Oh, the most horrible thing
happened.

I knew it. The caterer won't
make a twice-baked potato.

Why do you always assume
the worst?

Ma, I never told you this,
but like a year and a half ago,

I almost ran off and married
Maxwell's brother Nigel.

[gasps]

You could have been married
a year and a half ago?

The thing is,
I never told Maxwell about it

and now he's found out

and the whole wedding
could be in jeopardy.

Oh, my God.

-Did you hear?
-I'm nauseous already.

This is your fault. You had her
for all the birthdays up to 29.

And you had her for
all the birthdays back to it.

Oh, stop it, you two.

This isn't about you,
it's about me and my life.

I'm the one that messed up.

I'm the one that almost ran out
on Maxwell.

I'm the one that... Oh, you see?

This is why they threw the book
at me in traffic court.

-Good afternoon.
-Sir.

Son,
we're gonna leave you alone

and give you the space
to work it out.

Oh, Maxwell, I've been... What?

Let's go in there.

They walked into another room.

We should have had a plan B.

Oh, Maxwell, I, I know that
I was wrong.

I should have told you.

I promise you, I will never ever
keep anything from you again.

With my own brother?

Well, exactly.

I... I thought you didn't
want me anymore

and I found him very attractive.

I had "Sheffieldmania."

You know, not the real thing,
but an incredible simulation.

I just feel very betrayed, Fran.

Well, what did you expect?

I mean you took back telling me
that you loved me

and then you're surprised
I didn't wait around for you?

That's not fair.
You can't have it both ways.

Look, you know,
I'm just beginning to think

that you're making
such a big megillah

about all this because you're
looking for an excuse

to take back your commitment
tome.

Well, I'm sorry if you feel
that way, Fran, but I...

I just can't forgive you yet.

Well, then. You know what?

I'm gonna make it
real easy for you.

Here, take back your ring.

[Sylvia] Why,
for the love of God?

[Nigel] No!

You can't do this.

I already dyed my shoes.

If you leave,

I'm gonna throw myself
in the Hudson River.

Ma, flooding New Jersey
is not gonna solve anything.

Hello, hello.

Nanny Fine, about your wedding,

I just came back
from Crate & Barrel...

Shopping for a dress?

No, but I did see something

you'd just love
at Husky Butler Boys.

Nanny Fine, what's with the
suitcase? Where are you going?

Well, you'll be happy to know

Maxwell and I
had a terrible fight

and I gave him back the ring

-and the wedding is off.
-What?

He thinks Fran had
an infidelity.

Oh, please. You've been hanging
around him for five years.

You're the biggest
doormat there is.

I know and wouldn't you think
that would count for something?

And when did he get
so holier-than-thou?

You don't think Maxwell
Sheffield has a roving eye?

I've caught him checking me out
in the office.

Shut up.

Let me tell you,
Maxwell Sheffield

has not spent every night

of the last five years
doing a one-man show.

Ms. Babcock,
I think you're on to something.

Ma, help me unpack.

You do realize
that you might have just

pushed them
into a reconciliation.

I know. That damn Prozac

is turning me
into a caring human being.

And they said there'd be
no harmful side effects.

Uh, Maxwell, I just wanted
to tell you

that I've been thinking
about things

and I really understand
how you must feel.

I mean, I'd be really upset
if you did the same thing to me.

Well, I appreciate
you're saying that, Fran.

There's really no need
to give back the ring.

I'm sure I will get
through this eventually.

But you know, it's important
for you to understand that

if two people don't have trust,

if they can't be completely
open and honest with each other,

then all they have is... Marla.
Marla. I mean, Ms. Maples.

Hello, Maxwell. I haven't seen
you since that night we...

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, goodness.

How long ago was that now?
Oh, six, seven years?

A year and a half.

Oh, really? Really? That long.

Well, my, how time flies.

Anyway, Marla, thank you for
dropping by, and listen, um...

about that part you're
interested in, it's yours.

I'll call you.No, no, no.
I won't call you.

Uh... Agent.
I'll call your agent.

Okay, I'll just show Marla out.

-Oh, thanks, Marl.
-No problem, sweetie.

I don't want you to go through
what I'm going through.

Every day, I kick myself
about the man that got away.

Listen, it didn't work out
for you and Donald, but...

-Not Donald.
-Oh.

Maxwell.

Your cab's waiting.

Now, well, I'm glad everything
got straightened out.

So, uh, what do you say
about a spot of dinner, hmm?

-What are you in the mood for?
-Oh, I don't know.

Could you go for a little crow?

All right. All right.
Point well taken.

I'm, uh, I'm sorry.

I suppose I haven't been
much of a saint either.

Look, I only overreacted
because, well...

I didn't realize how close
I came to losing you.

And what would I have done

if you'd actually gotten
on that boat with Nigel?

But I didn't. I'm here with you.

You know, there's a word
in Yiddish for that.

It'sbeshet.

Oh, what does that mean?

It means, "meant to be."

Because no matter what happens,
that's what we are, meant to be.

We're naked without each other.

Like my finger.

Fran, I love you.

I love you too.

[Sylvia] It's back on.

[Nigel] Praise the Lord!

Oh, look,
another food dehydrator.

Well, I suppose you can never
have too much jerky.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, I'm so excited.

They're delivering
my gift for you.

Oh, Yetta, you didn't
have to get me anything.

Oh, nonsense. I just got you
a bread maker.

Oh!

Malka. Come on in.

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]