All language subtitles for The Nanny s05 e10

[Grace] I'm just so bummed.

Why, honey?

I've been sitting
next to the same guy
for the last four years

and I know he likes me,
but he won't make a move.

You've been waiting for some guy
for four years?

That's nothing.

It's not pathetic?

No.

She is so in denial.

Oh, Ms. Fine.
I've got to ask Mr. Sheffield

for some time off,
so I'm giving him this tie.

-Do you think he'll like it?
-Well, he ought to, it's his.

Oh, for heaven's sake,
he won't remember his tie.

But I wonder if I should
change out of his suit.

Niles, why don't you
just walk yourself in there

and tell him you need
some time off?

Be honest, speak from the heart.

Tell him that you need
some private time.

You work like a dog, day...
You know what? Don't use that.

I'm going to say that
when I go in there
and ask for this weekend off.

-This weekend?
-Yes.

But that's when I want off.

My butler's glee club is having
a big competition in Bermuda.

Well, I'm sorry.

But it's the big Fine
family reunion in Niagara Falls.

And we have relatives
coming in from all over.

Tel Aviv, Budapest,

Boca Gables, Phase Four.

I didn't know you had
any family left to fly in.

I thought they all lived
in my kitchen.

Why don't we just
let Mr. Sheffield decide?
That's fair.

Oh, why are we arguing?

I can relinquish three days
of the Wilsons' butler

pulling down his sock garters
to show me his tan lines.

Really?
Well, that's very sweet of you.

Now relinquish means
you're not going, right?

Yes, yes, yes.

-Okay. Thank you, thank you.
-[kissing]

I've got work to do, so you tape
Bold and the Beautiful.

Of course.

You have much to learn,
young Jedi.

Sir, please let me have
this weekend off.

My last vacation
was two years ago,
but it doesn't count.

Ms. Babcock showed up
and then there was this
tropical depression. Mine!

But, Mr. Sheffield,

you know I've got to go
to my family's reunion.

Well, to be honest, Niles, I...

Stop.

I did just give you
a month off already.

I was recovering
from a heart attack.

Look, how you budget
your vacation time
is your business.

-I'll bring you back
Cuban cigars.
-I'll send my mother to Cuba.

-I'll make you baked Alaska.
-I'll send my mother to Alaska.

Well, in all fairness, Ms. Fine,
Niles did ask me first.

He's wearing your suit.

Well, she's wearing
Ms. Gracie's skirt.

And that's how I just won.

[theme music playing]

♪She was working
In a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens

♪ 'Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out

♪In one of those
Crushing scenes

♪What was she to do?
Where was she to go?

♪She was out on her fanny

♪So over the bridge
From Flushing
To the Sheffield's door

♪She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more

♪She had style!
She had flair!
She was there!

♪That's how she became
The Nanny

♪Who would have guessed
That the girl we described

♪Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?

♪Now, the father
Finds her beguiling

♪Watch out C.C.!

♪And the kids
Are actually smiling

♪Such joie de vivre

♪She's the lady in red

♪When everybody else
Is wearing tan

♪The flashy girl
From Flushing

♪The Nanny named Fran!

[music playing]

You know, the only reason
he picked you is because
I don't look good in heels.

I thought you looked great
last Halloween

when you went as Tootsie.

-Really?
-Yes.

I didn't think it all came...

You're just trying to suck up
because you know I'm mad at you.

Niles, I got what I wanted

not because of anything I said,
or the way I looked.

Oh, please.

"Oh, Mr. Sheffield.

Do you mind if I dust your desk
with mytuchas?

Well, if it isn't Priscilla,
queen of the dessert.

You didn't mind me wearing
the tube top

to get you that Fantom Fury
vacuum with the HEPA filter,
didyou?

I can only imagine
how long it took you
to find something skimpy.

There's a three-second
scavenger hunt.

What a treat.

It's not often one gets to see
a domestic squabble

between actual domestics.

Hey, I insulted you.

Now you're supposed
to insult me back.

There's a rhythm
to these things, man.

Do you realize that she gets
everything she wants

because she has Mr. Sheffield
wrapped around
her little finger?

Well, look who
just popped his head
out of Maxwell's derrière

to announce it's spring.

What have I been saying
for the past four years?

You know, maybe we've been
on opposite sides too long.

Well, I wouldn't mind
getting back at Ms. Fine.

And we are just the team
to do it.

All right. From now on
it's you and me, Babcock.

Oh. Hmm!

You know, Niles, this is
the best cup of coffee
you've ever made.

Well, in honor
of our new alliance,
I must confess.

This is the first time
I've ever put it in a clean cup.

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪I've seen you around
For a long, long time

♪I remembered you
When you drank my wine

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪I seen ya walkin' down
In Chinatown

♪I called but you did not
Look around

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪I pay my money
To the welfare line

♪I seen ya standing in it
Every time

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

♪Why can't we be friends?

[music playing]

First of all, Dr. Miller,
I just want to tell you

that I think that I'm about
ready to graduate from therapy.

Yes, I really feel like
I have grown and matured.

I've really come
to like myself as a person.

What's the problem?

Everyone else hates me.

[sobbing]

Well, tell me about it.

Well, it's Niles.

Oh, Niles. Yes.
Nosy yenta butler?

Yes, that's him.

Oh, he's got this crazy idea

that I use my sensuality
to get my way.

Do you feel you do that, Fran?

No, Dr. Miller.

You know me.

I mean,

I don't do things like that.

Just look at your body language.

Dr. Miller.

Do you think I'm trying
to seduce you?

[music playing]

Do you want me to put this
in the dishwasher?

No, sweetie, I'll do it.

Oh, listen.
Are you coming with me
to Paint Your Pottery tonight?

Of course.

The ceramic tissue box

I made for your powder room
is coming out of the kiln.

Okay, Scully and Mulder,
care to explain this X-File?

Well, I've got to get back
to the salt mines.

Later, C.

Oh, Niles, we got to talk.

I just spent my entire session
at Dr. Miller's

talking about you
playing yo-yo with my feelings.

And pretending like
I don't exist.

And that time could have been
better spent

talking about Mr. Sheffield
doing that.

-I don't know what
you're talking about.
-Oh, come on.

You're being mean to me,
you're friends with Ms. Babcock.

It's a world gone mad.

Next thing you know,
you'll be saying Barbra
is marrying the guy

from the AAMCO commercials.

Oh, wait a minute,
that is happening.

This is ridiculous.

Why don't you just invite
Mr. Sheffield and the children

to go to Niagara Falls
with you and your family?

Oh, please.

What horrible thing
did the man ever do
to deserve that?

You're slipping, Sadie.
Don't you want to get engaged?

Keep talking.

Niagara Falls is the honeymoon
capital of the world.

Thirty million people go there
every year and wind up
getting married on the spot.

It's magical, it's mystical.
Mr. Sheffield won't be able
to resist you.

-Really?
-Absolutely.

Getting proposed to
is like buying real estate.

Location, location, location.

Oh, Niles, you're a genius.

Now we can both go away
this weekend.

Oh, I'm so happy
we're friends again.

Oh, me too.

I don't know what I was doing

in that unholy alliance
with Babcock.

I know. It was kind of like Yogi
dumping Boo Boo for the ranger.

[music playing]

Kids, I have such exciting news.

We're all going
to Niagara Falls.

Your father and I
are getting married!

Dad finally popped the question?

No. Not yet.

But Niagara Falls
is the engagement capital
of the world.

And Dad's already agreed
to go with you?

No. Not yet.

-This is so sad.
This is ridiculous.
-Yes, this really is.

Just go pack and act surprised,
would you?

Oh, don't worry, Fran.

If it actually happens,
we will be genuinely stunned.

-I got your message.
-Hi, Ma.

Oh, this is so exciting.

The last time
I was at Niagara Falls

was when Daddy proposed to me.

Oh, I didn't know
Daddy asked you to marry him
in Niagara Falls.

That's so romantic.

Yes, he had no intention
of proposing at all.

He went to get me a bromo
for my morning sickness.

The place cast a spell.

Have I never taught you
about the magic of the falls?

No.

No. You were too busy
teaching me to suck the innards

out of the chocolate-covered
cherries

before they weighed the bag.

Meanwhile,
has that not saved you

hundreds of dollars
over the years?

Oh, Ma.

If the mystique of the falls
is true,

this could be it.

I could be getting married,
right on the boat.

Cousin Cookie will play
the spoons on her boobs,
so there's the band.

And the whole family
has already booked the hotel.

So, we don't have to
put them up.

All you have to do is hang
your bagel over the railing

and the lox just jumps
right onto it.

Oh, darling, this is the kind of
wedding that mothers dream of.

Free!

[music playing]

Hi.

Well, if it isn't
I Love Loosely.

Okay, it's your turn.

Toss out something really vile.

I would, but I can't lift you.

Oh, that was

about me.

What's the matter, bud?

I thought you and me
were a team.

It was what it was
and now it's over.

But we had plans.

Now I won't hear that little
voice in my computer.

"You've got mail."

Anyhoo...

I was reading the paper.

El Niño's coming to New York
this weekend.

And you and the kids have got to
get out of all that water.

I'll tell you what.

You all could come to the Fine
family reunion in Niagara Falls.

Or I could eat a bowl of leeches

and slowly bleed to death
from the inside out.

Well, if you're on the fence
about it, let me ask the kids.

-Hey, what's up, Fran?
-Hey.

You want to hear some exciting
news for the first time?

-Yes.
-How would you like
to go this weekend

to Niagara Falls?

-Oh, that would be so cool.
-We could not be happier!

I've waited for this glorious
moment for five years!

Overdoing it, honey.

All right, I know
when I'm outnumbered.

Seems we're going
to Niagara Falls for
the Fine family reunion.

We're going to have so much fun.
Just don't get freaked out.

It could get pretty treacherous
being thrown about,

bounced off a handrail,
spritzed in the face.

Oh, I'm quite comfortable
on boats, Ms. Fine.

No, I was talking about
the buffet line.

[music playing]

Here, darling. Put this on.

No, Ma. I'm not covering myself
with that plastic.

You want Mr. Sheffield to think
he's proposing to your couch?

Morty.

I'm putting your hair
in my purse.

We're not going to lose
another 600 dollars

like we did at Raging Waters.

You know,

I proposed to my wife
on this boat 30 years ago.

And for 30 years,
she's been saying,

"Hey, Ray, when are we going
back to Niagara Falls?"

I said,
"When you stop hocking me."

So, here we are.

You big pain in the...

[ship honks]

Excuse me.

I hear that you're
in the show business.

I have an idea, and people think
it should be a play.

It takes place in Connecticut.

And?

What, you're not bringing
anything to the party?

All right, Marilyn.
Leave him alone.

Oh, is she pitching you
her Connecticut story again?

Pretty good, huh?

Oh. look, Ms. Fine.
We're getting closer
to the falls.

-Let's go find the children.
-Okay.

There's Gracie over here.
I'll get Gracie.

Hey sweetheart,
come and look at the...

[screams]

That's just Aunt Cookie.

Yes, she's the one that plays
the spoons on her...

Oh, yes. Right.
Yes, the maestro.

I enjoyed your rendition
ofWipeout.

That was 'Little Brown Jug.'

Played it too fast.

Where the devil
is this boat going, Ms. Fine?

The Island of Dr. Moreau?

Come on, Mr. Sheffield,
let's go to the bow of the boat.

That's the best place
to propose.

I mean, uh...

I propose that we go there.

Oh, my God,

is this not magnificent?

Over 30 million served.

Come here, Ms. Fine.
You're missing all this.

What?

Is this not the most beautiful
thing you've ever seen?

I can't hear you.

Oh, it's magical.

It's just magical.

Oh, Ms. Fine, will you marry me?

What did you say?

I said...

[screaming]

[music playing]

So you're on the boat,

you're approaching the falls...

Did Mr. Sheffield propose?

Well, let's just
put it this way.

They're renaming
the boat after me.

Old Maid of the Mist.

Well, Fran,
you know what they say.

What, Val?

No, really.

You know what they say, Fran.

You're far more the sophisticate
than I.

Well, there's no mystique
and there's no magic.

Just a bunch of propaganda
to get you to buy
idiotic souvenirs.

Oh, wait a minute,
I got you something.

Look at this.

Niagara Falls corn cob holders.

-Oh, God,
look at the detail work.
-Yes.

Yes, well. You'll put it away
for special...

Yes.

-Oh, hi.
-What happened to you?

It was really quite dramatic,
actually.

The falls were so powerful.

Freak wave came along and
knocked me right off my feet.

Does not remember anything
about the entire trip.

All I could say is, "thank God."

Well, I guess
I better put out the trash

and then start preparing dinner.

A butler's work
is never done, eh?

Niles, don't you think
that you should tell him?

Well, if you like.

But he also thinks the butler is
fooling around with the nanny.

You cleaned enough.

It's time to rest.

Ms. Fine, I'm most
dreadfully sorry. I...

Thank God I remembered who I was
before anything happened.

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]