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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,320 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:07,830 --> 00:00:09,500 Oh, ma, remember this? 3 00:00:09,830 --> 00:00:13,830 "June 17th. Dear Diary, my prom's tomorrow night 4 00:00:13,116 --> 00:00:16,246 and still no word from David Sole. 5 00:00:19,183 --> 00:00:21,403 Hope I don't wind up with some loser. 6 00:00:21,433 --> 00:00:23,833 June 18th. 7 00:00:23,116 --> 00:00:26,996 Val and I decide not to get each other corsages." 8 00:00:30,116 --> 00:00:33,826 Ma, you know, you're eating butter right out of the tub. 9 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,266 That's right. 10 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,100 It's the bread that puts the weight on. 11 00:00:38,416 --> 00:00:41,996 It's my new diet. See? 12 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,100 Ice cream, no cone. 13 00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:48,280 Cheesecake, no crust. 14 00:00:49,433 --> 00:00:51,403 Stick, no Dove bar. 15 00:00:53,233 --> 00:00:56,423 Sweetheart, what do you want with all these old diaries anyway? 16 00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:59,660 Well, actually, my therapist said that 17 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,380 I should get to the root of the problems that plague me. 18 00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:03,996 So naturally, I came to see you. 19 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,403 Thanks. 20 00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:10,383 But I don't even know what your problem is. 21 00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:12,996 Over 30, not married. 22 00:01:14,316 --> 00:01:17,316 You know, my therapist is making me realize 23 00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:22,500 that I don't need to be married to feel good about myself. 24 00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:23,300 That's nice. 25 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,203 Why don't you book an appointment 26 00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:28,183 on New Year's Eve, when you're alone? 27 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:37,220 You know, ma, finding a man is your dream for me, 28 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,450 but it isn't mine anymore. 29 00:01:38,483 --> 00:01:41,233 Dr. Miller says that I should go out of the house 30 00:01:41,266 --> 00:01:42,416 without makeup on. 31 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:45,830 I should even tell people my real age. 32 00:01:45,116 --> 00:01:48,096 What else does this genius have to say? 33 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,500 I don't know. I blacked out after that. 34 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:56,280 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 35 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,176 ♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 36 00:01:59,216 --> 00:02:00,446 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 37 00:02:00,483 --> 00:02:02,303 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 38 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,223 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 39 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,300 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 40 00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:10,163 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 41 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,330 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 42 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,446 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 43 00:02:14,483 --> 00:02:18,333 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 44 00:02:18,366 --> 00:02:21,316 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 45 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,430 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 46 00:02:23,466 --> 00:02:25,126 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 47 00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:26,466 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 48 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,660 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 49 00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:29,300 ♪♪ Such♪♪ 50 00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:31,003 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 51 00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:34,470 ♪♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 52 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,330 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 53 00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:38,380 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 54 00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:44,183 [♪♪♪] 55 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,470 I can't believe you told your mother 56 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,120 you were giving up men. 57 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:51,200 -What did she do? -Well, she tried to swallow 58 00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:54,253 a whole rotisserie chicken in her mouth like a python. 59 00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,660 Maybe you should have told her when she wasn't eating. 60 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:01,300 [SCOFFS] Oy! You try and catch lightning in a bottle. 61 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,466 Oh, no, no, no. Don't mind me. 62 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,120 I just seem to have misplaced something I need rather badly. 63 00:03:08,150 --> 00:03:09,420 -Oh? -What does it look like, sir? 64 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:15,100 Well, it's a large, gray overstuffed butler. 65 00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:17,173 I asked for these an hour ago. You're fired. 66 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,370 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. 67 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,470 I should have been more attentive to my duty. 68 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,000 I don't know how you put up with... Oh, bite me. 69 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,320 Oh, I've got to hurry home and get on the Internet. 70 00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:32,320 I have met the most fabulous man online. 71 00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:34,430 -Oh! What's his name? -I don't know. 72 00:03:34,466 --> 00:03:38,656 We go by screen names. His is Porsche Puppy. 73 00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:41,153 You're Good and Plenty? 74 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,000 I am so embarrassed. 75 00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:56,470 The things I said. 76 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,150 The things he said... 77 00:03:59,183 --> 00:04:02,233 You know, he's got quite a vocabulary for a 15-year-old. 78 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:05,350 Oh, cheer up. You should be happy 79 00:04:05,383 --> 00:04:08,353 someone's still interested in those old floppy disks. 80 00:04:11,383 --> 00:04:15,383 Oh, poor, Ms. Babcock. 81 00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:20,166 You must feel like the biggest loser in the world right now. 82 00:04:21,316 --> 00:04:23,466 Why don't you come out with me and Val tonight? 83 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,250 We'll change all that. 84 00:04:26,283 --> 00:04:28,303 Nanny Fine, give me one good reason 85 00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:30,833 I should go out with you. 86 00:04:30,116 --> 00:04:33,996 'Cause you just broke up with a guy that still sees a pediatrician. 87 00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:35,383 [MOUTHING] Yep. 88 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,180 [♪♪♪] 89 00:04:45,216 --> 00:04:48,116 [COUGHING] 90 00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,353 I got one. 91 00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,473 You need a man to hook up speakers. 92 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,100 Oh! That's a good one. 93 00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:05,323 Putting together book shelves from Home Depot. 94 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:08,350 Oh, yeah. [COUGHS] 95 00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:11,303 Helping with the shopping and cooking. 96 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,173 Doing heavy laundry. 97 00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:16,230 I'm sorry. I just know from Jewish men. 98 00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:22,230 You know, coming here was a great idea. 99 00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:25,126 You're a lot smarter than you look, Nanny Fine. 100 00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:28,326 Well, I should hope so. 101 00:05:30,316 --> 00:05:33,146 Look at those men over there staring at us smoke. 102 00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:36,383 It's not very feminine. I wonder why it turns them on so much? 103 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,660 Hi. 104 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,250 Oh, if you don't mind, 105 00:05:45,283 --> 00:05:47,353 we're having a girls' night only. 106 00:05:47,383 --> 00:05:50,203 -Who you interested in? -Her. 107 00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:52,253 Yeah. Girls' night only, bub. 108 00:05:53,383 --> 00:05:56,253 That's too bad, I saw you from across the room, 109 00:05:56,283 --> 00:05:58,173 -and I was gonna... -Catch you later. 110 00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:03,123 [LAUGHS] 111 00:06:04,216 --> 00:06:06,326 What's so funny? 112 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:09,280 Oh, I just remembered something Porsche Puppy said. 113 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,320 [♪♪♪] 114 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,380 Excuse me, sir. 115 00:06:19,416 --> 00:06:22,156 I'm leaving now, as per your firing me. 116 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,370 Just save your apologies. I can take this abuse no longer. 117 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,350 -Just bring my bloody lunch in. -Good to be back, sir. 118 00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:33,403 Where's Ms. Fine? 119 00:06:33,433 --> 00:06:35,453 She's out with Ms. Babcock. 120 00:06:35,483 --> 00:06:39,503 You know, our two single independent women. 121 00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:40,420 When you sent Ms. Fine to therapy, 122 00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:42,300 you never thought how it would affect me. 123 00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:46,133 Ms. Babcock should be here. She's my home entertainment center. 124 00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,160 Niles, can you get me a drink? 125 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:53,200 Happy hour doesn't start till you go home. See, it just doesn't work with her. 126 00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:56,480 Look, would you stop complaining? 127 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,270 Ms. Fine giving up men is a godsend. 128 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,270 But sir, you're a man, despite the way you dribble a ball 129 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,420 and those bath beads you like so much. 130 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,253 This is not about me. 131 00:07:08,283 --> 00:07:11,253 Ms. Fine giving up her urge to be in a relationship 132 00:07:11,283 --> 00:07:13,333 is the best thing for her. 133 00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:14,430 No more rushing into romances, 134 00:07:14,466 --> 00:07:16,266 no more getting her poor heart broken. 135 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:18,150 No more nudging you to make a commitment. 136 00:07:18,183 --> 00:07:20,163 Yeah, I know. Isn't it wonderful? 137 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,273 The best part of it is, it's all the doctor's idea. 138 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,350 There's no way I can be blamed for this. 139 00:07:25,383 --> 00:07:28,333 I blame you for this. 140 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,216 I don't know who the bigger nut is, 141 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,220 that shrink for telling her she doesn't need to get married. 142 00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:38,320 Or you for paying for it. 143 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,450 Tell her that you can't afford it, that you're broke. 144 00:07:40,483 --> 00:07:43,833 Well, she'll never believe that. He's worth millions. 145 00:07:43,116 --> 00:07:46,446 Have you ever thought of investing in a bagel nosh in Boca? 146 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:52,153 I know a couple that could run it for you. 147 00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:56,470 Sylvia, look, your daughter has reevaluated 148 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,350 her goals in life, and we're just gonna have to support her. 149 00:07:59,383 --> 00:08:02,503 Why? She doesn't support my goals 150 00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,330 that she get married, have children... 151 00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:07,116 See her picture in this frame. 152 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:09,180 That's my family. 153 00:08:09,216 --> 00:08:10,466 Hello? 154 00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:15,333 Oy, I am so upset. 155 00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:18,280 I don't know whether this is Muenster or Jack. 156 00:08:19,483 --> 00:08:22,103 Sylvia. Sylvia, listen to me. 157 00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:25,323 You're going to have to give your daughter room to grow 158 00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:27,370 or you're gonna risk alienating her. 159 00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:30,446 How could I be so stupid? 160 00:08:30,483 --> 00:08:34,253 This is cheddar with port-wine marbling. 161 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,250 [♪♪♪] 162 00:08:42,116 --> 00:08:44,176 Okay. One question, little buddy. 163 00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,830 Do you think this leather jacket 164 00:08:48,116 --> 00:08:50,396 is a little too come-hither for a gay club? 165 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,470 Well, personally, I have problems 166 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,280 with tall blond Aryans in leather jackets. 167 00:08:58,466 --> 00:09:00,476 What makes you think the place is a gay club? 168 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,480 Why, I heard your mother scream at you 169 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,430 for pursuing a sick alternative lifestyle. 170 00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:08,176 Oh, she just meant being single. 171 00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:14,376 Oh, do you have to know every bloody thing 172 00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:15,466 that's going on in this house? 173 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,430 You're like a fishwife. 174 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,120 Okay, Dad. 175 00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:22,200 They're going to a blues bar with Val. 176 00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,433 C.C.'s treating to a cab. 177 00:09:23,466 --> 00:09:27,146 Now, the boots that I want are on hold at Bergdorf's. 178 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,430 -[CLEARS THROAT] -You know, If we change our hair appointments to the same day, 179 00:09:32,466 --> 00:09:35,246 we can talk under the dryers. 180 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,103 -You know what, Nanny Fine? -What? 181 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:38,473 I'm not even gonna take my purse. 182 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,280 I don't need my perfume or my makeup. 183 00:09:41,316 --> 00:09:43,656 I'm not primping for a man. 184 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:46,330 You know what? I don't need my purse either. 185 00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:47,230 Let's go. 186 00:09:47,266 --> 00:09:50,226 You know what, wait a minute. I just need one thing in here. 187 00:09:50,266 --> 00:09:51,446 Just one minute here. 188 00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:54,253 I gotta have this and my credit card. 189 00:09:54,283 --> 00:09:57,333 I'm gonna just take that. And then a couple more things. 190 00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:58,450 I can't really live without them. 191 00:09:58,483 --> 00:10:01,273 You know what? I can't do this. I can't... 192 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,150 Na, I'm not ready for this yet, that's all. 193 00:10:03,183 --> 00:10:06,153 -[DOORBELL RINGS] -Oh, I'll get it. 194 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,116 -Hi. -Hi. 195 00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:12,180 Listen, I can't go out with you tonight 196 00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:14,166 and celebrate that we don't need men. 197 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,100 -Why? -Because I got one. 198 00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:21,400 Bye, Val. Have fun. 199 00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:23,333 Well, looks like it's just you and me, Ms. Babcock. 200 00:10:23,366 --> 00:10:25,296 -More no men for us. -Yeah. 201 00:10:26,383 --> 00:10:28,203 Chandler, what are you doing here? 202 00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:31,183 I just stopped by to drop off these contracts. 203 00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:32,446 All right, that's a lie. 204 00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:34,453 I own three Broadway theaters. 205 00:10:34,483 --> 00:10:38,353 I don't need to deliver my own contracts, I just... 206 00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:42,163 wanted to catch one more glimpse of that smooth white skin. 207 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,420 Oh, well, Maxwell's English. 208 00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:46,000 You know, they all have that milky... 209 00:10:47,216 --> 00:10:48,396 Oh, me? 210 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:52,500 I know this is kind of last-minute, but... 211 00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:54,660 Do you think you could join me for dinner tonight? 212 00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:58,220 Well, Chandler, it's 8:30 on a Saturday night. 213 00:10:58,250 --> 00:10:59,300 Yes. 214 00:11:02,383 --> 00:11:06,273 Well, good night and thank you very much. 215 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,400 Boy, I hope she's not planning on getting lucky tonight. 216 00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:12,353 -Why not? -'Cause she took my purse. 217 00:11:12,383 --> 00:11:15,123 The only protection I got in there is a picture of ma. 218 00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:16,280 [BOTH LAUGH] 219 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:29,830 Okay, how about this one? You win the lottery, get struck by lightning 220 00:11:29,116 --> 00:11:32,266 and you're invited to the White House by President Perot? 221 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,400 No, no. 222 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,373 The odds of Val and Ms. Babcock 223 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,200 both having boyfriends is still higher. 224 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,830 I suppose we should be happy for them. 225 00:11:46,116 --> 00:11:48,826 -But who is? -Ah, screw 'em. 226 00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:53,383 You know, they're going out on another double date tonight. 227 00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:57,096 They asked me to join them, but... I don't wanna be a fifth wheel. 228 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,483 Oh, if I were you, I would go. 229 00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:00,376 -Really? -Of course. 230 00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:03,126 Remember, when a tire goes out on a car, 231 00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:05,146 they need that fifth wheel. 232 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,200 -What's that mean? -I don't know. 233 00:12:09,233 --> 00:12:11,453 I'm depressed about Ms. Babcock. I've been in the brandy. 234 00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:19,323 Oh, what is wrong with me? I can hold my own without a man. 235 00:12:19,350 --> 00:12:22,180 I'm an independent, self-sufficient woman. 236 00:12:22,216 --> 00:12:25,656 You know what? I'm gonna march right down there 237 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,230 and order me a lobster. 238 00:12:26,266 --> 00:12:29,166 -A lobster? -I'll bat my eyes a few times. 239 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,100 The boys will pick up the check. 240 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,000 Oh, where's Ms. Fine? 241 00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:37,180 She's stepping out with my baby. 242 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,420 I was gonna cheer her up. 243 00:12:40,450 --> 00:12:43,430 I made reservations for the two of us at La Côte Basque. 244 00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:46,130 Oh, well, never mind. 245 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,996 -What are you doing tonight? -Oh, nothing sir. 246 00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:50,180 -Free as a bird. -Oh, good. 247 00:12:50,216 --> 00:12:52,266 Cancel my reservations and make me a taco. 248 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,353 [♪♪♪] 249 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:04,000 Now, before we dig in, I just want to say this evening is on me. 250 00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:05,150 Oh, no, no, no. 251 00:13:05,183 --> 00:13:07,503 Say something. 252 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,330 Can I order the really big shrimp? 253 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,400 Why don't I choose a wine? 254 00:13:14,416 --> 00:13:16,366 Hi. 255 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,350 But not that one. 256 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,180 -Hi. -Hi. 257 00:13:21,216 --> 00:13:24,366 We were beginning to hope... think you wouldn't come. 258 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,380 I'll just sit on the side here. Just move over, just a little bit. 259 00:13:27,416 --> 00:13:29,176 I don't take up a lot of room. 260 00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:34,276 I don't know why we haven't done this before, Ms. Babcock. 261 00:13:34,316 --> 00:13:36,656 Me neither, Val. 262 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:37,330 Salud. 263 00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:41,403 That's why. 264 00:13:49,183 --> 00:13:50,433 Good garlic toast. 265 00:13:57,266 --> 00:14:00,156 You know, next time we all go out together, we should try 266 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,400 the Chinese restaurant next door. 267 00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:03,453 That's the real McCoy. 268 00:14:04,266 --> 00:14:05,426 Full of Jews. 269 00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:15,346 Oh, the cheese is just a little clumpy. 270 00:14:15,383 --> 00:14:17,663 Maybe we should order our entrées. 271 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,120 Oh, good. That's a good idea. Yeah, let's order. 272 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,370 Wait, someone must be sitting on my menu. 273 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,320 -FRAN: Oh? No, no. -VAL: Oh, no. 274 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,830 Fran. Fran. 275 00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:30,396 -CHANDLER: Are you all right? -Yes, okay. I'm okay. 276 00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:33,133 I'm fine. I'm fine. Go back to your calamari. 277 00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:34,276 Nothing to see here. 278 00:14:34,316 --> 00:14:37,316 -Why don't I sit on the end? -Oh, okay. 279 00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:40,400 -Thanks. Thank you. Thanks. -Okay. 280 00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:43,153 How embarrassing. 281 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:46,353 Okay. Here we go. All right. 282 00:14:46,383 --> 00:14:50,503 Now, let's see. Hmm. 283 00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:53,450 Dinner for two. Chateaubriand for two. 284 00:14:53,483 --> 00:14:58,433 That's for two. What is this? A restaurant or an ark? 285 00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:01,476 You know Fran, I think that guy over there is flirting with you. 286 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,350 Look, he's waving, he's pointing. 287 00:15:03,383 --> 00:15:06,503 Oh, Val, I so don't care. 288 00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:09,500 Why does a man think just because a woman is alone 289 00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:11,000 that she instantly wants a companion? 290 00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:12,230 Oh, here we go. Here we go. 291 00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:14,246 -Excuse me. -Yes? 292 00:15:14,283 --> 00:15:17,203 There's a candle behind you, and I think your hair's on fire. 293 00:15:19,383 --> 00:15:23,333 Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Everything's okay. Okay. 294 00:15:23,366 --> 00:15:25,296 Stop hitting me, Val. 295 00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:30,253 -Okay. -I think this garlic bread's burned 296 00:15:30,283 --> 00:15:32,183 or got smoked cheese or something. 297 00:15:32,216 --> 00:15:33,476 Oh, right, right. 298 00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:39,096 I just thought it was hot because I'm sitting next to you. 299 00:15:39,383 --> 00:15:42,333 Oh, stop. 300 00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:49,383 [WHISTLING] 301 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,370 Maximum capacity 140. 302 00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:19,126 [EURYTHMICS "WOULD I LIE TO YOU" PLAYING] 303 00:16:20,216 --> 00:16:23,146 -Care to dance? -I would. 304 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:26,196 How about it, Val? Would you like to dance? 305 00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:29,153 Well, I don't want to leave Fran sitting here all by herself. 306 00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:31,453 Oh, no, it's okay, honey. Go ahead. Have fun. 307 00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:33,373 -All right. -You know what? 308 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,370 -I could dance by myself. -Yeah. 309 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,350 That's exactly what I'm gonna do. 310 00:16:38,383 --> 00:16:42,223 ♪♪ Oh yeah Would I lie to you honey? ♪♪ 311 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,500 ♪♪ No, no, no ♪♪ 312 00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:47,370 ♪♪ Now would I say something that wasn't true? ♪♪ 313 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:52,120 ♪♪ I'm asking you sugar Would I lie to you? ♪♪ 314 00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:54,130 ♪♪ My friends - know... ♪♪ 315 00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:58,496 [GLORIA ESTEFAN'S "ANYTHING FOR YOU" PLAYING] ♪♪ Not here ♪♪ 316 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,380 ♪♪ In spite of it all ♪♪ 317 00:17:02,416 --> 00:17:06,156 ♪♪ I've learned so much from you ♪♪ 318 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,300 ♪♪ You made me strong ♪♪ 319 00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:12,223 ♪♪ Don't you ever think that I don't love you ♪♪ 320 00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:15,400 ♪♪ That for one minute I forgot you ♪♪ 321 00:17:15,433 --> 00:17:19,003 ♪♪ But sometimes things don't work out right ♪♪ 322 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,380 ♪♪ And you just have to say goodbye... ♪♪ 323 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:25,376 -Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -No, that's all right. 324 00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:27,426 We're staying at the airport Hilton. 325 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,160 [♪♪♪] 326 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,830 I mean, what do we really know about this Chandler fellow 327 00:17:42,116 --> 00:17:43,996 Ms. Babcock's so fond of? 328 00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:47,130 Mm. Where did that psychiatrist get his degree? 329 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,376 That's what I'd like to know. 330 00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:50,480 Gin. 331 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:56,330 I mean, what kind of an imbecile encourages a single woman 332 00:17:56,660 --> 00:18:00,120 to go out with two couples like some kind of a fifth wheel? 333 00:18:01,283 --> 00:18:03,423 Yes, it's madness, sir. 334 00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:09,173 I sent her to that psychiatrist to stop this dating lunacy 335 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,430 and get her to spend more time here with me. 336 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,246 Well, the children, you know. 337 00:18:13,283 --> 00:18:14,483 Oh, gin. 338 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,500 It's time you went to bed, Brighton. 339 00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:21,150 Okay. Well here's what you guys owe me. 340 00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,330 He's a good card player. 341 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,130 Oh well, he learned it from me. 342 00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:29,266 -Well, good night, sir. -Yeah, good night. 343 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:30,470 Oh, listen, Niles, 344 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,100 I was thinking, tomorrow is Saturday. 345 00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:37,173 -Do you have any plans? -Why? 346 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,480 You want me to move the piano upstairs? 347 00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:44,296 Snake the drains in all the bathrooms? 348 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:47,133 Well actually, I was gonna ask you to join me at the club for brunch, 349 00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:48,396 but if you're gonna have that attitude, 350 00:18:48,433 --> 00:18:51,123 you can just stay home, and heat yourself a bloody Pizza Pocket. 351 00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:57,433 Uh, bye. 352 00:18:57,466 --> 00:19:01,496 Yeah... no, no, no. I can't tomorrow. 353 00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,350 Oh, go home, you zanies. 354 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:08,200 Oh, those four, just party, party, party. 355 00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:11,283 But, you know, I gotta get up in the morning. 356 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,446 -So, what? You had a good time, Ms. Fine? -Need you ask? 357 00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:18,663 Does this look like the face of a person that had a bad time? 358 00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:23,123 I had a fabulous time. Why do you think I've been out half the night? 359 00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:25,380 Well, Ms. Fine, it's only 8:15. 360 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,120 I had a horrible time. 361 00:19:29,483 --> 00:19:34,233 Oh, Ms. Fine, there, there. 362 00:19:34,266 --> 00:19:37,266 You know, Ms. Fine, it's a very brave thing you did. 363 00:19:38,183 --> 00:19:39,383 Just after Sara died, 364 00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:43,126 when I had to venture out on my own for the first time, 365 00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:46,996 just me and my butler and my chauffeur... 366 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:52,280 Well, the point is... the point is, Ms. Fine, 367 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:55,396 this independence takes time. 368 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,100 I'll tell you what. 369 00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:00,430 Just for now, why don't we practice 370 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,266 being on our own together? 371 00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:06,200 On our own together? 372 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,380 That could work. 373 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:13,160 -What are you playing? -Solitaire. 374 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:14,130 Can I play too? 375 00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:15,166 Uh, well, actually Ms. Fine, 376 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,450 it's a game for one person to... 377 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:20,103 Oh, all right. Go on. Have a go. 378 00:20:21,383 --> 00:20:24,183 Oh, well, here's your whole problem, mister. 379 00:20:24,216 --> 00:20:26,196 You got a king over here by himself 380 00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:29,253 and you got a queen over there alone like a dog. 381 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,380 Put your queen on top of your king 382 00:20:33,416 --> 00:20:35,276 and watch what happens. 383 00:20:36,483 --> 00:20:39,833 -Over there. -All right. 384 00:20:39,116 --> 00:20:41,146 -Okay. Yes. -Move that over there. 385 00:20:41,183 --> 00:20:42,323 -All right. -Okay. 386 00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:45,370 Oh, now we're getting some action, you see? 387 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,220 All right. And I'm done. 388 00:20:49,266 --> 00:20:51,376 See how fast I finished? 389 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,166 And you wonder why you're playing solitaire. 390 00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:12,200 When I snap my fingers... 391 00:21:12,233 --> 00:21:16,183 you will no longer try to fix your daughter up with men. 392 00:21:16,216 --> 00:21:19,996 You will no longer be obsessed with her getting married. 393 00:21:22,266 --> 00:21:25,996 And you'll have a burning desire to move to Boca. 394 00:21:29,483 --> 00:21:32,453 Fran, I just had a fabulous idea. 395 00:21:32,483 --> 00:21:34,303 It came to me in a dream. 396 00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:35,383 What, ma? 397 00:21:35,416 --> 00:21:38,126 You'll get married in Boca. 398 00:21:42,433 --> 00:21:45,373 All right. This session's on me. 399 00:21:47,133 --> 00:21:49,253 [♪♪♪] 400 00:21:56,183 --> 00:21:59,283 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 29432

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