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1
00:00:15,801 --> 00:00:17,076
Again?
2
00:00:31,418 --> 00:00:32,522
♪ Tell me why ♪
3
00:00:32,660 --> 00:00:35,555
♪ I love you like I do ♪
4
00:00:35,693 --> 00:00:37,037
♪ Tell me who ♪
5
00:00:37,175 --> 00:00:39,175
♪ Can stop my heart
As much as you ♪
6
00:00:39,313 --> 00:00:40,934
♪ Let's take Each other's hand ♪
7
00:00:41,072 --> 00:00:44,002
♪ As we jump Into
the final frontier ♪
8
00:00:45,588 --> 00:00:48,450
♪ Mad about you, baby ♪
9
00:00:57,448 --> 00:01:00,688
Oh, you perfectly
little round pancake.
10
00:01:17,996 --> 00:01:19,374
Ahh!
11
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Just a second!
12
00:01:27,649 --> 00:01:29,855
Can a man not eat
a pancake in peace?
13
00:01:29,993 --> 00:01:31,338
Okay!
14
00:01:31,476 --> 00:01:32,751
What's the use of even trying?
15
00:01:32,889 --> 00:01:34,406
Thank you very much
for your patience.
16
00:01:34,544 --> 00:01:36,371
That's awfully nice of you.
17
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,888
What? What? What you?
18
00:01:39,026 --> 00:01:40,405
What's the matter,
you depressed?
19
00:01:40,543 --> 00:01:41,405
No, I'm not depressed.
20
00:01:41,543 --> 00:01:42,887
Well, you're wearing a robe.
21
00:01:43,025 --> 00:01:44,025
So?
22
00:01:44,094 --> 00:01:45,542
Depressed people wear robes.
23
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,852
So do people who just
wanna eat their pancakes.
24
00:01:47,990 --> 00:01:48,990
Pancakes?
25
00:01:49,024 --> 00:01:50,230
Get away from the pancakes!
26
00:01:50,368 --> 00:01:52,713
I'm very much looking
forward to the first bi...
27
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:53,713
That's good!
28
00:01:53,851 --> 00:01:54,851
Yeah, I'm sure.
29
00:01:54,885 --> 00:01:55,885
No, no, no! Taste!
30
00:01:55,988 --> 00:01:56,815
No! It's ruined now.
31
00:01:56,953 --> 00:01:57,953
Why?
32
00:01:58,022 --> 00:01:59,297
You got the first bite.
33
00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:01,643
Pancakes are all
about the first bite.
34
00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:03,780
Taste, huh?
35
00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:06,400
Huh?
36
00:02:06,538 --> 00:02:07,710
It's all right.
37
00:02:07,848 --> 00:02:10,882
Paulie, cheer up.
How about this?
38
00:02:11,019 --> 00:02:13,812
I will buy you an IHOP.
39
00:02:13,950 --> 00:02:15,605
And what is this?
40
00:02:15,743 --> 00:02:17,742
Sim-Tech Corporation.
You don't remember?
41
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,087
You don't recognize this name?
42
00:02:19,225 --> 00:02:20,639
Sim-Tech? Yeah.
43
00:02:20,777 --> 00:02:21,811
Sim-Tech?
44
00:02:21,948 --> 00:02:25,603
Wasn't that the tailor
in Fiddler on the Roof?
45
00:02:25,741 --> 00:02:28,085
Your virtual reality
investment, you remember?
46
00:02:28,223 --> 00:02:29,533
You're kidding me.
47
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:32,395
No. You have been paid
back, pal, and then some.
48
00:02:32,533 --> 00:02:33,912
Oh, I would say so.
49
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:35,877
Hey! This is... Nice goin'!
50
00:02:36,015 --> 00:02:37,290
This is beautiful.
51
00:02:37,429 --> 00:02:38,290
Isn't it?
52
00:02:38,429 --> 00:02:40,807
This is going
right into the bank.
53
00:02:40,945 --> 00:02:42,393
Well, that's good.
54
00:02:42,531 --> 00:02:43,704
That's prudent.
55
00:02:43,841 --> 00:02:44,703
That's wise.
56
00:02:44,841 --> 00:02:45,841
Mm-hmm.
57
00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:47,470
How would you like
to make 10 times that
58
00:02:47,496 --> 00:02:48,668
in the next five years?
59
00:02:48,805 --> 00:02:50,712
You know, if I had the
time, I would, but I don't.
60
00:02:50,736 --> 00:02:52,047
All right, forget about it.
61
00:02:52,184 --> 00:02:54,804
It's not like I was not spot
on right the first time, correct?
62
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,355
But never mind. You
keep your money.
63
00:02:56,494 --> 00:02:58,321
When this other
thing turns huge,
64
00:02:58,459 --> 00:03:00,321
I will be retired for
the rest of my life,
65
00:03:00,459 --> 00:03:02,389
and you, my friend,
will be in your robe
66
00:03:02,527 --> 00:03:04,733
trying to explain to Mabel
why she cannot go to camp.
67
00:03:04,871 --> 00:03:06,561
Fine.
68
00:03:06,699 --> 00:03:07,561
Hey.
69
00:03:07,699 --> 00:03:08,699
Hi.
70
00:03:08,837 --> 00:03:11,836
Ooh, pancakes! Who made those?
71
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:12,974
The pancake fairy.
72
00:03:13,111 --> 00:03:14,800
That guy from the food channel?
73
00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:17,835
I made pancakes.
74
00:03:17,973 --> 00:03:18,835
Oh, man. What?
75
00:03:18,972 --> 00:03:20,765
What is with you people? What?
76
00:03:20,903 --> 00:03:22,834
He thinks we're depressed
'cause we wear robes.
77
00:03:22,972 --> 00:03:23,799
Are we depressed?
78
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,109
No!
79
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,419
We're not thrilled, but
we're not depressed.
80
00:03:27,557 --> 00:03:28,798
So, Ira, how's Melissa?
81
00:03:28,936 --> 00:03:30,453
Aw, man, she is so good.
82
00:03:30,591 --> 00:03:32,142
Melissa? I know not of Melissa.
83
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,280
New girlfriend.
84
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:34,383
Really cute, really smart,
85
00:03:34,521 --> 00:03:36,176
really fun, really likes me.
86
00:03:36,314 --> 00:03:37,900
Yeah? So what's the catch? None.
87
00:03:38,038 --> 00:03:40,313
There's always a catch. Listen,
every woman on the earth,
88
00:03:40,451 --> 00:03:42,175
no matter how great,
there's always a catch.
89
00:03:42,313 --> 00:03:43,313
What was my catch?
90
00:03:43,346 --> 00:03:44,519
You had none.
91
00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:50,001
So, James, what
do you think of this?
92
00:03:51,449 --> 00:03:52,793
"Sim-Tech Corporation."
93
00:03:52,931 --> 00:03:54,310
Our virtual reality investment?
94
00:03:54,448 --> 00:03:55,310
Yes, ma'am.
95
00:03:55,448 --> 00:03:57,241
Mind like a steel trap.
96
00:03:57,379 --> 00:03:58,379
This is ours?
97
00:03:58,516 --> 00:03:59,585
Yes!
98
00:03:59,723 --> 00:04:02,274
Ira, oh, my God, you are
a very savvy young man.
99
00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:03,481
Thank you.
100
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,526
Should we take the money
and run or roll it over?
101
00:04:05,550 --> 00:04:07,377
"Roll it over." Listen to her.
102
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:08,721
What do you think?
103
00:04:08,859 --> 00:04:10,859
What is he, Charles Schwab?
104
00:04:10,997 --> 00:04:12,858
One time five years
ago, he lucked out.
105
00:04:12,996 --> 00:04:14,031
He doesn't know.
106
00:04:14,169 --> 00:04:15,824
Thank you for your
confidence in me.
107
00:04:15,962 --> 00:04:17,340
You've earned it.
108
00:04:17,479 --> 00:04:19,271
This money should go
right under our pillow.
109
00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:21,650
What's the pillow paying
these days, about 7.5 percent?
110
00:04:21,788 --> 00:04:22,788
Okay, James...
111
00:04:22,856 --> 00:04:24,339
check out the latest.
112
00:04:24,477 --> 00:04:25,856
The Sim-Tech life-predictor.
113
00:04:25,994 --> 00:04:27,028
Uh-huh.
114
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,338
This is a very powerful computer
115
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,579
that predicts the future.
116
00:04:30,717 --> 00:04:33,476
Okay. Right under
the pillow, this is going.
117
00:04:33,614 --> 00:04:35,820
No. It's all based on
mathematical probability.
118
00:04:35,958 --> 00:04:37,854
You just plug in the
pertinent information,
119
00:04:37,991 --> 00:04:39,336
and it shows you your future
120
00:04:39,475 --> 00:04:41,577
within a very small
margin of error.
121
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,852
My God, man.
122
00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:45,576
This thing could
change the world.
123
00:04:45,714 --> 00:04:46,852
I know. No more famine
124
00:04:46,990 --> 00:04:48,369
'cause we'll see it coming.
125
00:04:48,507 --> 00:04:50,851
No more pestilence,
whatever that is.
126
00:04:50,989 --> 00:04:53,264
People will be saved
from oppression.
127
00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:56,505
Plus, I will know chicks' phone
numbers before I even ask 'em.
128
00:04:56,643 --> 00:04:58,263
I wanna go see this thing.
129
00:04:58,402 --> 00:04:59,642
No, we're not. We have a child.
130
00:04:59,711 --> 00:05:00,849
We have responsibilities.
131
00:05:00,987 --> 00:05:03,027
If we fall into some money,
you don't just spend it.
132
00:05:03,159 --> 00:05:05,917
You put it away.
That's the whole...
133
00:05:07,021 --> 00:05:08,541
You see this look
you're giving me now?
134
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:09,641
Yeah.
135
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,985
That is your catch.
136
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:20,294
Okay, guys, I would like
you to meet Zack Grundfest,
137
00:05:20,432 --> 00:05:21,432
Hello, Zack.
138
00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:22,742
Nice to meet you.
139
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:23,983
Pleasure to meet you both.
140
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,293
Zack is the inventor
of the life-predictor.
141
00:05:26,431 --> 00:05:27,741
Oh. Look at you.
142
00:05:27,879 --> 00:05:30,741
When I was your age, I was
still playing with a magna-doodle.
143
00:05:30,878 --> 00:05:32,498
Hey, don't talk
like that to a minor.
144
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:33,912
Mr. Buchman, the computer world
145
00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:36,842
the computer world is
replete with boy geniuses.
146
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:38,291
I'm just a face in the crowd.
147
00:05:38,428 --> 00:05:40,359
"Replete" means...
148
00:05:40,497 --> 00:05:41,807
A lot of 'em.
149
00:05:41,945 --> 00:05:45,082
So, Zack, you must
be very proud of all this.
150
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,289
Well, it's my life's work.
151
00:05:48,978 --> 00:05:52,288
Zack, just between us,
and this goes no farther,
152
00:05:52,426 --> 00:05:55,287
this doesn't really
work, does it?
153
00:05:55,425 --> 00:05:58,769
Well, I invite you to
judge for yourselves.
154
00:05:58,907 --> 00:06:02,528
All right. What do we do?
155
00:06:02,665 --> 00:06:05,354
First, you have to answer
the computer questionnaire,
156
00:06:05,492 --> 00:06:08,871
then let the wall cameras
take a set of photos of you,
157
00:06:09,009 --> 00:06:10,318
and then all you gotta do
158
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,318
is ask the computer a question
159
00:06:12,457 --> 00:06:14,697
and wait to see if its
prediction will come true.
160
00:06:14,835 --> 00:06:15,835
Have fun, you two.
161
00:06:15,973 --> 00:06:17,800
Yes, enjoy yourselves.
See you later.
162
00:06:17,938 --> 00:06:18,938
Thank you.
163
00:06:18,972 --> 00:06:20,731
All right. Here we go.
164
00:06:20,869 --> 00:06:23,351
Height. I'm gonna say 6'4".
165
00:06:23,489 --> 00:06:25,213
Weight: 150.
166
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,695
It's not gonna work if
you don't tell it the truth.
167
00:06:27,832 --> 00:06:29,177
I'm telling the truth.
168
00:06:29,315 --> 00:06:31,143
16 inches.
169
00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:33,349
Collar size.
170
00:06:35,486 --> 00:06:37,348
"Fears and affinities."
171
00:06:37,486 --> 00:06:40,175
"Sexual preferences."
172
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,172
Favorite book. Uh...
173
00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:55,586
Great Expectations.
174
00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:57,655
You never even read
Great Expectations.
175
00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:01,654
I started it, and I thought
it was very well written.
176
00:07:07,963 --> 00:07:09,307
Guess that's it for the photos.
177
00:07:09,446 --> 00:07:11,824
All right. Now what happens?
178
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,445
Ooh. Something's happening.
179
00:07:14,583 --> 00:07:16,410
All hands to the fiesta deck.
180
00:07:21,995 --> 00:07:22,857
Hi. How you doin'?
181
00:07:22,995 --> 00:07:23,822
Wow. She's hot.
182
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,650
Thanks.
183
00:07:25,787 --> 00:07:26,959
Hello, Paul and Jamie Buchman
184
00:07:27,097 --> 00:07:28,959
of number 5 East 12th Street.
185
00:07:29,097 --> 00:07:30,820
Hello.
186
00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:32,269
I'm simulated Jamie,
187
00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:34,648
and this is simulated Paul.
188
00:07:36,475 --> 00:07:39,061
Cheers. How do you
do? I'm Paul Bukeman.
189
00:07:39,198 --> 00:07:41,301
I begged you not to
lie on the questionnaire.
190
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,300
My darling, you're a
vision in gray on gray.
191
00:07:44,439 --> 00:07:46,059
Oh, where's the redo button?
192
00:07:46,197 --> 00:07:47,197
I like this me.
193
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,580
If I wanted to marry Cary Grant,
194
00:07:48,679 --> 00:07:50,645
I would've married Cary Grant.
195
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:55,885
Yes... Yes... Yes...
196
00:07:56,022 --> 00:07:58,264
I'm just saying...
I'm just saying...
197
00:07:58,402 --> 00:07:59,264
Hello.
198
00:07:59,401 --> 00:08:00,263
There we are.
199
00:08:00,401 --> 00:08:01,643
Paul, Jamie,
200
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,658
what would you like to
know about your future?
201
00:08:03,745 --> 00:08:05,814
You ask, we answer,
everyone goes home happy.
202
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,112
Sweetie, they know the drill.
203
00:08:07,227 --> 00:08:08,089
All right, sir.
204
00:08:08,227 --> 00:08:09,227
Wow.
205
00:08:09,262 --> 00:08:10,813
We don't sound
anything like that.
206
00:08:10,951 --> 00:08:12,157
What should we ask them?
207
00:08:12,295 --> 00:08:14,674
Will the Harlem
Globetrotters ever lose?
208
00:08:14,812 --> 00:08:15,812
Paul!
209
00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:17,329
Just... anytime you're ready,
210
00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:18,846
just type away.
211
00:08:18,984 --> 00:08:20,949
Simulated Paul!
212
00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:22,948
Wow. This thing's good.
213
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:28,154
"If we go to lunch at
Riff's, what will happen?"
214
00:08:31,947 --> 00:08:33,808
Ooh! Choking man! Choking man!
215
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:38,325
Where's the poster with the
guy that shows you how to do it...
216
00:08:39,463 --> 00:08:40,325
Thanks.
217
00:08:40,462 --> 00:08:41,324
Breadstick.
218
00:08:41,462 --> 00:08:42,324
You're welcome.
219
00:08:42,462 --> 00:08:44,255
We're happy to help.
220
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,840
Well?
221
00:08:49,978 --> 00:08:51,219
Okay, okay. First of all,
222
00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:52,874
I would never be as lame as that
223
00:08:53,012 --> 00:08:54,253
in an emergency situation.
224
00:08:54,391 --> 00:08:56,631
Okay. Then you won't mind
going to lunch and finding out.
225
00:08:56,701 --> 00:08:57,804
Fine. I will be terrific.
226
00:08:57,942 --> 00:08:59,735
In seventh grade health
class, Mrs. Mendel,
227
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:03,285
I saved Resuscitation
Annie like three times a week.
228
00:09:03,424 --> 00:09:05,320
You're making us
late for the future.
229
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:06,630
Okay.
230
00:09:09,457 --> 00:09:11,457
See, honey? Same booth.
231
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,318
Honey, there's only two booths.
232
00:09:13,456 --> 00:09:15,387
And by the way, your
life-predictor's prediction
233
00:09:15,525 --> 00:09:17,285
for this next booth
didn't exactly come true.
234
00:09:17,421 --> 00:09:18,766
Just give it time.
235
00:09:18,904 --> 00:09:22,282
My cousin, the most
skeptical man on earth.
236
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:24,834
I think a certain amount
of skepticism is called for.
237
00:09:24,971 --> 00:09:26,074
Thank you.
238
00:09:26,212 --> 00:09:27,902
Melissa did the
computer profile last week.
239
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,660
I'm still not sure
that I believe in it.
240
00:09:29,798 --> 00:09:32,797
Well, thank you, Melissa,
for your good common sense.
241
00:09:32,935 --> 00:09:36,141
And may I say, everything
Ira said about you is true.
242
00:09:36,279 --> 00:09:37,314
What'd you tell him?
243
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,624
I raved a little bit.
244
00:09:38,762 --> 00:09:40,555
Hey, hey, Chippie,
245
00:09:40,693 --> 00:09:42,037
what do we have here?
246
00:09:42,175 --> 00:09:43,175
Wow.
247
00:09:43,209 --> 00:09:44,864
Uh-oh. He's getting breadsticks.
248
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,282
Paulie, what did
I tell you, huh?
249
00:09:46,416 --> 00:09:49,208
This guy actually have to
asphyxiate for you to believe?
250
00:09:58,448 --> 00:10:00,137
Excuse me, sir.
251
00:10:01,654 --> 00:10:02,826
Yeah?
252
00:10:04,929 --> 00:10:06,343
You okay?
253
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,170
Yeah.
254
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,618
Sorry.
255
00:10:11,928 --> 00:10:14,342
So, Melissa, what do you do?
256
00:10:14,479 --> 00:10:17,271
I teach at a school for
underprivileged children.
257
00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:18,961
It's incredibly rewarding.
258
00:10:19,099 --> 00:10:20,443
Wow. And when
you're not working?
259
00:10:20,581 --> 00:10:23,270
I read a lot, I work
out religiously,
260
00:10:23,409 --> 00:10:25,305
and I'm a pretty big sports fan.
261
00:10:25,442 --> 00:10:26,787
Oh, unbelievable.
262
00:10:26,925 --> 00:10:29,442
Ask her anything:
baseball, football.
263
00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:32,303
All right. Joe Namath's backup
on the 1970 Jets would be...
264
00:10:32,441 --> 00:10:33,923
Al Woodall.
265
00:10:34,061 --> 00:10:36,889
Okay. You're right. There's
a woman without a catch.
266
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,302
Well, not exactly.
267
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,784
No, no, you are.
268
00:10:39,922 --> 00:10:41,302
No. No, I'm really not.
269
00:10:41,439 --> 00:10:43,266
What do you mean?
270
00:10:43,405 --> 00:10:46,921
Ira, there's something that
I've been meaning to tell you.
271
00:10:47,059 --> 00:10:48,507
It's been on my mind,
272
00:10:48,645 --> 00:10:50,713
and I just don't feel right
going another second
273
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:51,989
without telling you.
274
00:10:52,127 --> 00:10:55,712
It's okay. Believe me,
whatever you have to tell me,
275
00:10:55,850 --> 00:10:57,678
I'm sure we could
work through it.
276
00:10:57,816 --> 00:11:00,609
Ira, I've decided that I'm
going to become a man.
277
00:11:04,573 --> 00:11:06,745
I'm gonna have an
operation and become a man.
278
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:10,744
You will be my last
relationship as a woman.
279
00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:17,053
Now, see, that's what
I would call a catch.
280
00:11:17,191 --> 00:11:18,743
Ooh! Choking man! Choking man!
281
00:11:18,881 --> 00:11:23,293
Where's the poster with the
guy that shows you how to do it...
282
00:11:24,431 --> 00:11:25,293
Thanks.
283
00:11:25,431 --> 00:11:26,293
Breadstick.
284
00:11:26,431 --> 00:11:27,293
You're welcome.
285
00:11:27,431 --> 00:11:28,844
We're happy to help.
286
00:11:28,982 --> 00:11:30,810
I was in a lot of trouble there.
287
00:11:30,947 --> 00:11:31,774
You're okay now?
288
00:11:31,912 --> 00:11:33,292
Yes, I'm okay.
289
00:11:33,429 --> 00:11:35,671
My name is Jim Weaver.
Hi. Jamie Buchman.
290
00:11:35,809 --> 00:11:37,533
Wait a minute. Jim
Weaver the sports agent?
291
00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:40,359
Yes. Wow. It's a great pleasure.
292
00:11:40,497 --> 00:11:41,841
You know who
this guy represents?
293
00:11:41,979 --> 00:11:45,358
Evander Holyfield,
Shaquille O'Neal, Brett Favre.
294
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,840
Yeah. It's my pleasure.
295
00:11:46,978 --> 00:11:49,047
You know, I never
get recognized.
296
00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:52,184
She's a big sports fan.
297
00:11:52,323 --> 00:11:54,632
Allow me a small
gesture of gratitude.
298
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:56,530
We're having a party
tonight at the St. Regis
299
00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:57,667
for Mark McGwire.
300
00:11:57,735 --> 00:11:58,769
You are not.
301
00:11:58,907 --> 00:11:59,907
Yeah.
302
00:11:59,942 --> 00:12:01,251
Mark McGwire? Uh-huh.
303
00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:02,768
It's gonna be a lot of fun,
304
00:12:02,906 --> 00:12:04,251
so why don't you come by, okay?
305
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,768
You have a drink, you meet Mark,
306
00:12:05,906 --> 00:12:07,458
you keep me away
from the breadsticks.
307
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:08,905
I think we say yes.
308
00:12:09,043 --> 00:12:11,871
That's very nice
of you. Thank you.
309
00:12:12,008 --> 00:12:16,146
So, how do you feel about
the life-predictor now?
310
00:12:16,283 --> 00:12:18,007
Take it away, Zack.
311
00:12:18,145 --> 00:12:19,765
Our money is your money.
312
00:12:19,903 --> 00:12:23,420
You are a genius.
313
00:12:23,558 --> 00:12:25,247
Thank you. And may I say
314
00:12:25,386 --> 00:12:26,902
this is money well-spent.
315
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:33,729
Okay. "What will Melissa
be doing 2 months from now?"
316
00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:39,279
Twenty-four, 15!
317
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:40,279
Opposite.
318
00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:42,865
Blue! Hut, hut, hut!
319
00:12:45,864 --> 00:12:46,904
That's just what you want:
320
00:12:47,036 --> 00:12:48,622
A woman who can read a defense.
321
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,553
You cannot take this personally.
322
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:53,172
James, you know, you
think as you get older,
323
00:12:53,311 --> 00:12:54,449
you can see stuff coming.
324
00:12:54,587 --> 00:12:57,069
Sparky, this party's
gonna cheer you up.
325
00:12:57,207 --> 00:12:58,551
You think I should
bring Melissa?
326
00:12:58,689 --> 00:13:00,688
No matter how good
a time you show her,
327
00:13:00,826 --> 00:13:02,757
you may not be able
to change her mind.
328
00:13:02,895 --> 00:13:04,757
I'm as romantic as the next guy,
329
00:13:04,894 --> 00:13:07,239
but once she
becomes a quarterback,
330
00:13:07,377 --> 00:13:09,962
the sex is going to change.
331
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:11,755
Thank you. I know that.
332
00:13:11,893 --> 00:13:13,721
I'm not trying to
change her mind.
333
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:17,754
I just want to give her a
good sendoff as a woman.
334
00:13:17,892 --> 00:13:20,271
I feel a responsibility
to make sure
335
00:13:20,409 --> 00:13:22,719
that she has a positive
last female experience.
336
00:13:22,857 --> 00:13:24,719
Right, 'cause you don't
want her talkin' trash
337
00:13:24,857 --> 00:13:26,821
about you in the locker room.
338
00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:28,373
You're a very honorable man.
339
00:13:28,511 --> 00:13:29,545
Thank you...
340
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:31,363
because, you know,
this is new turf for me.
341
00:13:31,407 --> 00:13:32,407
I know.
342
00:13:32,442 --> 00:13:33,958
Tomorrow she and I
are going shopping.
343
00:13:34,096 --> 00:13:36,303
We're looking at Adam's apples.
344
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,578
Okay.
345
00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:42,749
"If we all go to the
Mark McGwire party,
346
00:13:42,887 --> 00:13:44,577
what will happen?"
347
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:54,678
Wow.
348
00:13:54,816 --> 00:13:55,816
Gee.
349
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:58,022
Must've been a very good party.
350
00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:06,400
I find it difficult to believe
351
00:14:06,538 --> 00:14:09,435
that you are gonna end up
in bed with Mark McGwire.
352
00:14:09,572 --> 00:14:10,710
You're jealous.
353
00:14:10,848 --> 00:14:12,916
Sweetie, no, I'm not jealous.
354
00:14:13,054 --> 00:14:14,916
I'm just worried
about our investment.
355
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,088
Uh-huh.
356
00:14:16,225 --> 00:14:18,915
We have to get you into
bed with Mark McGwire
357
00:14:19,053 --> 00:14:21,053
to make sure that
the machine works.
358
00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:26,396
Well, I suppose if I must
get into bed with big mac...
359
00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:28,174
I think that would
be best for both of us.
360
00:14:28,293 --> 00:14:31,361
Just don't do that goofy thing
you do when we meet celebrities.
361
00:14:31,499 --> 00:14:32,499
What goofy thing?
362
00:14:32,533 --> 00:14:33,653
I don't know. You get weird.
363
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,084
Remember when we met Monty Hall?
364
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:38,429
I was fine when
we met Monty Hall.
365
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:40,014
Just don't be goofy.
366
00:14:40,152 --> 00:14:41,291
Okay. How about this?
367
00:14:41,428 --> 00:14:43,324
You get an operation
also and become a woman,
368
00:14:43,462 --> 00:14:45,841
and then we can still go out.
369
00:14:45,979 --> 00:14:48,841
Melissa, I love you,
but I don't think so.
370
00:14:48,978 --> 00:14:50,427
Okay.
371
00:14:50,565 --> 00:14:54,218
I could maybe wear a little
eye shadow, but that's about it.
372
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,838
Hey, Mark, over here.
373
00:15:00,976 --> 00:15:02,872
Tim, the party looks great.
374
00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:04,010
Absolutely.
375
00:15:04,045 --> 00:15:05,733
Hey, I have your itinerary
376
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:06,733
and your room key.
377
00:15:06,871 --> 00:15:08,020
I got a key at the front desk.
378
00:15:08,044 --> 00:15:08,906
Oh, okay.
379
00:15:09,044 --> 00:15:09,906
Hey, Jim.
380
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,112
Oh, hi, Jamie.
381
00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:13,112
Jamie, Paul Buchman,
say hello to Mark McGwire.
382
00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:14,973
Jamie saved my life
in the restaurant today.
383
00:15:15,111 --> 00:15:15,973
Nice to meet you.
384
00:15:16,111 --> 00:15:17,284
Pleasure to meet you.
385
00:15:17,422 --> 00:15:19,142
It is, isn't it? Isn't it
really a pleasure?
386
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,834
What do you mean?
387
00:15:20,972 --> 00:15:22,283
Isn't my wife lovely?
388
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:23,627
Yes, she is.
389
00:15:23,765 --> 00:15:25,981
And you haven't seen half
of her. Look what's going on...
390
00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:27,212
Paul!
391
00:15:27,351 --> 00:15:29,191
Listen, it was really
nice meeting both of you.
392
00:15:29,281 --> 00:15:31,246
Will you excuse me, please?
393
00:15:32,728 --> 00:15:33,970
Nice goin'.
394
00:15:34,108 --> 00:15:36,068
I was trying to facilitate
the little thing there.
395
00:15:36,107 --> 00:15:37,280
Yeah. Monty Hall.
396
00:15:37,418 --> 00:15:38,280
Hey. Hi.
397
00:15:38,418 --> 00:15:39,865
Where's Melissa?
398
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,003
Ladies' room.
399
00:15:41,037 --> 00:15:43,175
Maybe for the last time.
400
00:15:44,554 --> 00:15:46,312
Listen, I'm getting
a little worried here.
401
00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:47,312
We might have a problem.
402
00:15:47,450 --> 00:15:48,530
I'm having a heck of a time
403
00:15:48,622 --> 00:15:51,449
getting my wife into
bed with Mark McGwire.
404
00:15:51,587 --> 00:15:52,828
Hang on a minute.
405
00:15:52,966 --> 00:15:54,138
Oh, God.
406
00:15:54,277 --> 00:15:57,896
Hey, Mark, Mark McGwire.
Ira Buchman. How you doin'?
407
00:15:58,034 --> 00:15:59,585
Fine. How are you? I'm good.
408
00:15:59,723 --> 00:16:01,344
I am the cousin of the guy
409
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:04,515
who's married to the woman
who saved your agent's life.
410
00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:06,722
Good to meet you. You, too.
411
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:09,928
So, must be something bein'
the home run champ, huh?
412
00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:11,687
It's a lot of fun.
413
00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:15,203
You must have chicks, like,
throwing themselves at you.
414
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,893
No, not really.
415
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,892
Not that I would know
anything about that.
416
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:21,374
I have, actually,
417
00:16:21,512 --> 00:16:24,374
an increasingly checkered
history with women, myself.
418
00:16:24,512 --> 00:16:27,373
My latest, this woman
who I'm really nuts about,
419
00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:29,786
turns out she wants to be a man.
420
00:16:29,924 --> 00:16:31,407
Mm-hmm.
421
00:16:31,545 --> 00:16:32,545
Anyway, uh...
422
00:16:32,614 --> 00:16:36,854
What I wanted to
say was, if I were you,
423
00:16:36,992 --> 00:16:39,129
I would seriously consider
424
00:16:39,268 --> 00:16:42,095
making a play for
my cousin's wife.
425
00:16:45,163 --> 00:16:47,335
What's the deal with
everyone and that woman?
426
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:50,300
I don't know. I'm starting
to wish I choked to death.
427
00:16:50,438 --> 00:16:52,300
What I'm saying is
we would all, all of us,
428
00:16:52,437 --> 00:16:56,540
be very happy if you and she
were to wind up in bed together.
429
00:16:56,678 --> 00:16:58,643
Thanks, but I don't think so.
430
00:16:58,781 --> 00:17:00,643
You sure?
431
00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:03,815
It was very nice for
Mark to have met you, Ira.
432
00:17:03,953 --> 00:17:05,504
Opportunity's
knockin', my friend.
433
00:17:05,642 --> 00:17:06,642
Okay, Ira.
434
00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:09,883
I should've stopped
when I was at 57.
435
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:10,882
How'd it go?
436
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:11,882
Not so good.
437
00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:12,882
All right. Excuse me.
438
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:13,882
Where you going?
439
00:17:14,020 --> 00:17:15,709
Just watch closely.
440
00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:18,708
Hi, Mark. Remember me?
441
00:17:18,846 --> 00:17:21,156
You know, I couldn't
help noticing...
442
00:17:21,294 --> 00:17:26,948
your forearm is the same
thickness as my thigh.
443
00:17:27,086 --> 00:17:28,499
Will you pardon me?
444
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:33,878
Ooh, that had to
hurt, I bet, huh?
445
00:17:34,016 --> 00:17:34,878
Thinks he's so big.
446
00:17:35,016 --> 00:17:36,395
Yeah.
447
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,291
This is bad. This
is very, very bad.
448
00:17:38,429 --> 00:17:39,877
I think we just
gotta face the facts.
449
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:42,325
We are gonna
lose all that money.
450
00:17:42,463 --> 00:17:44,143
And also, I think it's
gonna be a long time
451
00:17:44,221 --> 00:17:46,324
before we're invited to
Mark McGwire's house.
452
00:17:46,462 --> 00:17:47,806
This is so depressing.
453
00:17:47,944 --> 00:17:49,289
Can we just go?
454
00:17:49,426 --> 00:17:51,288
Yes. I'm gonna
track down Melissa.
455
00:17:51,426 --> 00:17:53,805
I'm gonna drown my
sorrows a little first.
456
00:17:53,943 --> 00:17:54,805
You want something?
457
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:55,805
Yeah, sure.
458
00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:58,322
Two vodka shots, please,
459
00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,080
and make 'em hurt.
460
00:18:01,804 --> 00:18:03,355
Two vodka shots.
461
00:18:03,493 --> 00:18:05,872
All right, sweetie,
a little toast.
462
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:08,871
To the unnecessary
loss of a small fortune,
463
00:18:09,009 --> 00:18:11,388
and may that never happen again.
464
00:18:11,526 --> 00:18:12,698
Hear, hear.
465
00:18:13,973 --> 00:18:16,352
Aah! Wow!
466
00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:17,490
Hoo! Ooo!
467
00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:18,387
That's good.
468
00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:19,696
Very good.
469
00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:21,938
Got any more of that
fire water there, Chester?
470
00:18:23,386 --> 00:18:25,695
Two more vodka shots. I'm sorry.
471
00:18:38,521 --> 00:18:42,245
Can you believe I was so
stupid that I actually believed
472
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:44,313
that this machine could
just predict the future?
473
00:18:44,451 --> 00:18:45,313
You're a dummy.
474
00:18:45,451 --> 00:18:46,726
You're a dummy. You're a dummy.
475
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:47,864
You're the bigger dummy.
476
00:18:47,933 --> 00:18:51,277
I know you are, but what am I?
477
00:18:51,415 --> 00:18:53,276
Hello. This is Tom Brokaw.
478
00:18:53,414 --> 00:18:55,621
In Libya today...
479
00:18:55,758 --> 00:18:56,758
Libya.
480
00:18:56,793 --> 00:18:58,275
No, no, no. Libya.
481
00:18:58,413 --> 00:19:00,895
It's so sexy the way he says it.
482
00:19:01,033 --> 00:19:01,895
Paul, Jamie!
483
00:19:02,033 --> 00:19:04,585
In Libya...
484
00:19:04,723 --> 00:19:06,403
I think you two have
had enough, don't you?
485
00:19:06,516 --> 00:19:07,378
Okay.
486
00:19:07,515 --> 00:19:09,204
"In Libya..."
487
00:19:10,204 --> 00:19:12,308
Okay. Here's what
I want you to do.
488
00:19:12,446 --> 00:19:15,065
I want you to go upstairs
to my room. It's 613.
489
00:19:15,203 --> 00:19:16,858
Okay? And lay
down for a little while.
490
00:19:16,996 --> 00:19:17,858
Okay.
491
00:19:17,996 --> 00:19:18,996
Okay.
492
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:20,030
See ya later.
493
00:19:20,098 --> 00:19:21,202
Yeah, later.
494
00:19:28,476 --> 00:19:30,856
Aah! Sorry!
495
00:19:30,993 --> 00:19:33,338
Hey, didn't Hector say 613?
496
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:34,337
Hector?
497
00:19:34,475 --> 00:19:36,234
Whatever. You know what?
498
00:19:36,372 --> 00:19:38,957
I'm gonna have
a visit to the little...
499
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,198
drunk bad investor's room.
500
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,810
Aah!
501
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,326
You! What are you doing in here?
502
00:20:33,464 --> 00:20:34,808
How'd you get in here?
503
00:20:34,946 --> 00:20:37,463
I hate when this happens.
504
00:20:37,601 --> 00:20:39,636
We're rich!
505
00:21:01,941 --> 00:21:02,803
Okay, so...
506
00:21:02,941 --> 00:21:04,079
bye.
507
00:21:04,217 --> 00:21:05,286
Bye, Paul. Bye-bye.
508
00:21:05,424 --> 00:21:07,906
Thanks for being a
good sport about this.
509
00:21:08,044 --> 00:21:09,802
Oh, that's okay.
510
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:12,492
Every happiness to you both.
511
00:21:14,008 --> 00:21:15,767
Mark, remember,
sometimes it's just,
512
00:21:15,904 --> 00:21:17,835
it's gonna be easier
to let her have her way.
513
00:21:17,973 --> 00:21:19,317
Gotcha.
514
00:21:19,455 --> 00:21:20,766
And you remember,
515
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,834
they're gonna be throwing
you junk all year long,
516
00:21:22,972 --> 00:21:25,178
so just wait for your
pitch, okay, buddy?
517
00:21:31,384 --> 00:21:33,659
I'll just wait for my
pitch then, you're saying.
518
00:21:33,797 --> 00:21:36,004
Okay, bye-bye, bye-bye. See ya.
519
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:40,072
See ya.
520
00:21:42,658 --> 00:21:44,554
Bye-bye.
521
00:21:44,692 --> 00:21:46,209
How are those
pancakes? Pretty good?
522
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,483
Thought he'd never leave.
523
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:04,447
Captions: M.P.
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