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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.SubtitleDB.org 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today 3 00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,921 Hello, good evening! Good morning, Mrs... 4 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,191 Duchess of Earl Margherita Semenzara! 5 00:00:59,511 --> 00:01:03,231 How did I know it was you? No, I did not know, you swore it was you... 6 00:01:03,491 --> 00:01:06,031 I recognized your noble voice. 7 00:01:06,121 --> 00:01:09,361 Do you want to talk to your Noble Lord Husband? 8 00:01:09,731 --> 00:01:13,851 He is in a session since yesterday evening in the Grand Council of the 10 absenthees. 9 00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:16,661 I have clear instructions not to interrupt them, 10 00:01:17,081 --> 00:01:19,651 But if you insist, Ah, you do not insist, you... 11 00:01:19,752 --> 00:01:21,354 ...command it. 12 00:01:21,511 --> 00:01:24,271 Then, just a moment, I'll put you in touch with the council. 13 00:01:24,711 --> 00:01:25,761 Just a moment... 14 00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:28,211 Hello, Council of the 10 absenthees. 15 00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:31,791 It's for our Count Semenzara, from his wife Lady Duchess... Duchess Conde... 16 00:01:31,972 --> 00:01:33,491 Wait - Wait a moment. 17 00:01:33,592 --> 00:01:36,313 Just a moment My Lady, Here is your husband. 18 00:01:40,241 --> 00:01:45,691 Ciao, I'm here, my jealous one! Did you think I was out partying with hookers? 19 00:01:46,241 --> 00:01:49,400 Semenzara does not do stupid things. Semenzara works even at night... 20 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,236 to keep you and the family well. 21 00:01:51,391 --> 00:01:53,161 He is not scared of your controls. 22 00:01:53,211 --> 00:01:55,741 But now please,I need to go, must partecipate to a vote. 23 00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:56,844 Ciao, ciao... 24 00:01:59,242 --> 00:02:00,091 What did you say? 25 00:02:00,131 --> 00:02:04,511 Nothing, he spoke a bit faster because he needs to go voting. 26 00:02:05,401 --> 00:02:08,561 He said to sleep peacefully... 27 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:13,831 That's good. Good night, good day, good bye Lady Duchess Cond... 28 00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:43,851 - Who's here!? - Fantozzi Ugo, accountant, Registration 7829/bis. Doing overtime. 29 00:02:43,886 --> 00:02:45,521 You could have warned me!? 30 00:02:46,293 --> 00:02:50,431 Sorry Mr. Nightguard, if I have frightened you. 31 00:02:57,793 --> 00:03:01,971 Thank you, good morning. Good night. Mr. Nightguard, see you soon. 32 00:03:08,831 --> 00:03:11,441 33 00:03:17,161 --> 00:03:18,391 Good morning, miss... 34 00:03:25,541 --> 00:03:29,341 No! Your colleague has already shot me upstairs! 35 00:03:29,651 --> 00:03:34,311 I promise, next time I'll do it with you. Good year, good bye! 36 00:03:46,671 --> 00:03:49,281 - We are waiting for you. - We are waiting for you. 37 00:03:51,928 --> 00:03:53,626 WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU 38 00:04:41,851 --> 00:04:43,181 Let me through! 39 00:04:45,409 --> 00:04:47,939 Please! They expect me home! 40 00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:52,272 On the chassis... The crystals, no! 41 00:04:52,273 --> 00:04:55,297 - Take this! - You miserable scoundrel! 42 00:04:55,298 --> 00:04:58,074 ...You think you own the road? 43 00:05:32,811 --> 00:05:37,344 How often should I say, I should... should... 44 00:05:37,745 --> 00:05:41,949 Go home because I've just finished to work!!! 45 00:06:30,921 --> 00:06:33,441 Here, accountant, Extremely urgent. 46 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,457 Surveyor??. F 7. 47 00:06:36,882 --> 00:06:38,676 Damn, in the first turn!. 48 00:06:38,767 --> 00:06:41,151 - I stroke a cruiser. - Well!. 49 00:06:41,991 --> 00:06:44,471 - I'd start with n. 27 this morning - Good, and you? 50 00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:47,011 The series of 5 to 8, per 100,000 liras. 51 00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:48,401 Let's get on with it. 52 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:56,699 For the selection of the employee that should accompany 53 00:06:56,700 --> 00:07:02,117 Our Mega Director Clamoroso Duke Conde Pier Carlo Ingeniero Semenzara... 54 00:07:02,271 --> 00:07:07,121 to play in Monte Carlo, there was a terrible draw... 55 00:07:07,171 --> 00:07:10,551 For which there was also the partecipation of the internal committee. 56 00:07:11,551 --> 00:07:16,761 The organizer of the ceremony, was the accountant Filini, of the Claims Office. 57 00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:19,351 Attention! 58 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,771 - Let's proceed! - S�, your Excellence. 59 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:30,111 Miss Silvani! 60 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,17 Pardon me! 61 00:07:32,381 --> 00:07:34,471 Ms Silvani of Calboni! 62 00:07:34,801 --> 00:07:36,306 - Me? - S�. 63 00:07:36,341 --> 00:07:40,335 chosen to withdraw from the urn name chosen, Ms. Calboni... 64 00:07:40,336 --> 00:07:42,184 ex Miss Silvani. 65 00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:44,761 And ex great desperate love of Fantozzi. 66 00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:49,831 ...since she married, he dared not touch her even with his thoughts. 67 00:07:49,866 --> 00:07:52,781 - Excuse me if I turn my back ... - I blindfold... 68 00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:55,323 - Sorry. - Easy. 69 00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:58,561 - Do you see anything? - No! 70 00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,551 The occasion was thruly horrendous... 71 00:08:03,591 --> 00:08:06,911 3 days in Monte Carlo, to see Semenzara play. 72 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:10,511 And if he suspected that his companion brought him good luck... 73 00:08:10,611 --> 00:08:12,601 Then your life would be settled... 74 00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:17,882 Sweet heart of Jesus, (prayer)... 75 00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:23,145 76 00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:24,514 Be quiet! 77 00:08:25,196 --> 00:08:26,220 Who's praying? 78 00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:31,532 Thanks. 79 00:08:45,071 --> 00:08:48,781 Registration 7829/bis. 80 00:08:53,891 --> 00:08:58,501 Fantozzi remained in a state of apparent death, for more than four hours. 81 00:08:59,101 --> 00:09:02,731 - Congratulations Fantozzi! - Well done, fatty! 82 00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:04,596 To Fantozzi! 83 00:09:04,661 --> 00:09:08,477 Hip, hip, hip, hurra! Hip, hip, hip, hurra! 84 00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,071 Again congratulations! 85 00:09:12,181 --> 00:09:15,107 Thank you, please drink. Drink to my health... 86 00:09:15,108 --> 00:09:16,602 At least say thanks to me. 87 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:17,614 For what? 88 00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:21,311 It was my wife's doing. 89 00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:24,201 Let's say I have been your fortune goddess, Fantozzi. 90 00:09:24,721 --> 00:09:27,852 I must thank you. Would you like a drink? 91 00:09:27,891 --> 00:09:32,629 No thanks. But do me a favour. Come. 92 00:09:32,982 --> 00:09:34,163 S�, where? 93 00:09:35,381 --> 00:09:37,180 Such luck! It's disgusting! 94 00:09:37,215 --> 00:09:39,315 - He's been kissed by luck... - I hate him! 95 00:09:40,151 --> 00:09:42,913 Here, take these! 96 00:09:43,111 --> 00:09:44,781 Do you want me to exchange them? 97 00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:48,691 No, Fantozzi. You must play them at the roulette. 98 00:09:49,791 --> 00:09:50,711 For me. 99 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:55,121 But, is your husband ok with this? Does he know? 100 00:09:55,211 --> 00:09:57,951 But we are a modern couple, We are open minded. 101 00:09:59,371 --> 00:10:00,741 Play it on the 27, Fantozzi. 102 00:10:01,411 --> 00:10:02,751 S�. 103 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,341 ...When you feel it's the right moment. 104 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:09,471 27, it's my age. 105 00:10:12,131 --> 00:10:17,063 Oh, to think I would have played at the most the 14... Or even 4. 106 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:19,941 Goodbye Pina! Ciao Mari�ngela! 107 00:10:20,101 --> 00:10:22,391 Ah, here is the tra... tra... train... 108 00:10:23,421 --> 00:10:29,731 Well, we have to admit, we are slightly early. 109 00:10:29,891 --> 00:10:32,921 the train to Montecarlo departed at 23:37. 110 00:10:33,281 --> 00:10:36,601 Fantozzi arrived at the station at 4:12 in the afternoon. 111 00:10:36,841 --> 00:10:38,271 7 hours earlier! 112 00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,211 With him, Ms. Pina, and Mariangela. 113 00:10:40,601 --> 00:10:42,831 To see his triumphal departure. 114 00:10:45,861 --> 00:10:47,961 There he is! The Duke Conde! 115 00:10:49,026 --> 00:10:50,746 Good morning, Master! 116 00:10:50,821 --> 00:10:53,721 Make way for the Duke Conde! 117 00:10:55,051 --> 00:10:56,801 Make way for Conde Semenzara! 118 00:10:57,411 --> 00:11:01,431 Sir Duke Conde, if you allow me the honour of introducing you my...! 119 00:11:02,591 --> 00:11:05,841 Who are those loosers? Who do you want to introduce me to!? 120 00:11:06,351 --> 00:11:12,321 Nobody. I wanted to present my apologies for having slighly touched you with my elbow... 121 00:11:12,651 --> 00:11:14,501 So you do not have any relation with those witches? 122 00:11:15,071 --> 00:11:17,921 No, never seen them in my life, don't know them at all! 123 00:11:18,431 --> 00:11:20,481 - Then don't look at them! - No, I don't! 124 00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:22,313 - And touch yourself, by Judas! - Yes, I touch myself! 125 00:11:23,941 --> 00:11:25,621 I hope they will not get on our train. 126 00:11:25,821 --> 00:11:27,231 No, I don't think so... 127 00:11:31,771 --> 00:11:34,151 I believe they are going away, 128 00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:36,408 yes, they are going away. 129 00:11:38,251 --> 00:11:40,281 Gone now. 130 00:11:40,881 --> 00:11:43,142 - That's better! - That's better! 131 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,511 Pardon me, I just take my suitcase, 132 00:11:47,391 --> 00:11:49,991 Even a purple suitcase, that brings bad luck! 133 00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:54,411 By the way, You have no luggage? 134 00:11:55,071 --> 00:11:57,321 No, no luggage. 135 00:11:58,271 --> 00:11:59,471 Not even a briefcase? 136 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:03,021 ...I have a nice one back home, 137 00:12:03,441 --> 00:12:05,471 but I do not bring it to the station, 138 00:12:06,191 --> 00:12:07,351 because... they'd steal it... 139 00:12:07,911 --> 00:12:11,771 But i have everything on me: 5 shirts, 12 pairs of pants... 140 00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:12,921 and 16 pairs of socks. 141 00:12:14,531 --> 00:12:15,191 There's the train! 142 00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:16,841 Let me, Duke Conde! 143 00:12:18,481 --> 00:12:19,991 Stay still! Just a moment! 144 00:12:21,231 --> 00:12:23,871 - What's the meaning of this? - quiet with those hands! 145 00:12:25,301 --> 00:12:26,601 The Duke Conde is mine! 146 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,031 All taken! 147 00:12:30,021 --> 00:12:32,441 Taken, taken taken... 148 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:36,021 It's all busy!. I took the whole compartment! 149 00:12:36,531 --> 00:12:38,951 But... young man, Have you ever booked a sleeping cabin? 150 00:12:42,991 --> 00:12:45,041 No sorry... 151 00:12:45,521 --> 00:12:47,751 These are booked. I booked cabin n.18. 152 00:12:47,961 --> 00:12:49,211 18? 153 00:12:50,431 --> 00:12:51,761 Sir Count... 154 00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:54,511 Come then, Count. N. 18? 155 00:12:54,771 --> 00:12:56,401 Come, I'm at your service... 156 00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:58,111 Let's clean it... 157 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,051 What the hell are you doing? 158 00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:03,171 Here, I think, it's your... 159 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,481 ...bid�. 160 00:13:05,111 --> 00:13:05,841 What? 161 00:13:05,931 --> 00:13:06,931 What is this? 162 00:13:10,711 --> 00:13:12,312 - Ddi you get hurt? - It's nothing... 163 00:13:12,371 --> 00:13:14,931 Only lost functionality of the first two phalanges. 164 00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:18,681 Pinkie and ring finger. Sorry, I'll just get my hand back. 165 00:13:20,781 --> 00:13:27,211 Oh, here is also your glass, to drink during the night... 166 00:13:29,371 --> 00:13:32,881 Oh, of course. This is for your noble needs. 167 00:13:33,241 --> 00:13:35,131 Can I Undress you, Conde Duque Lord? 168 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,201 No, no, no! Go to your cabin. 169 00:13:37,271 --> 00:13:40,281 I don't have a cabin... To avoid being a weight on the company, 170 00:13:40,751 --> 00:13:41,541 I took a 2nd class ticket... 171 00:13:41,941 --> 00:13:43,941 As you know, 3rd class has been abolished. 172 00:13:44,376 --> 00:13:46,441 If it's allowed, I'd prefer to sleep on the floor... 173 00:13:46,471 --> 00:13:47,721 Curled up next to your bed... 174 00:13:47,722 --> 00:13:49,441 Not allowed, not allowed! 175 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,631 Well, then if you consent it, I will retire to my compartment. 176 00:13:56,051 --> 00:13:59,401 - Clear. - Go to 2a. you'll see, it will be very comfortable. 177 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:00,405 Good night. 178 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:10,111 Tickets please... 179 00:14:16,211 --> 00:14:18,081 I hope you're in good shape, young man. 180 00:14:18,181 --> 00:14:20,811 Cause I've been awake all night in that bloody bed. 181 00:14:20,837 --> 00:14:23,881 - I was right above the wheels! - Oh, I was rather comfy. 182 00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:25,371 - Good evening. - Good evening dear. 183 00:14:25,721 --> 00:14:29,311 The Duke, like all people possessed by the demon of game... 184 00:14:29,351 --> 00:14:33,121 was very superstitious and used extravagant rituals. 185 00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:35,791 Do, re, mi, Good Luck comes here. 186 00:14:35,851 --> 00:14:38,711 Re, mi, fa, Good luck comes this side. 187 00:14:38,781 --> 00:14:41,401 Si, do, re, Good luck does not go there. 188 00:14:44,781 --> 00:14:45,791 Pardon me... 189 00:14:46,631 --> 00:14:47,801 Chips! 190 00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:55,561 One moment, not a bet... 191 00:14:58,691 --> 00:14:59,961 Here you go, Duke!. Mr Conde Duke. 192 00:15:01,591 --> 00:15:02,631 Sit down. 193 00:15:05,491 --> 00:15:09,291 Sorry, Mr Conde Duke, Actually I have no chair. 194 00:15:09,591 --> 00:15:11,301 - Sit anyway! - Anyway... 195 00:15:12,901 --> 00:15:14,151 Done. 196 00:15:14,311 --> 00:15:15,491 And touch my ass! 197 00:15:16,491 --> 00:15:18,671 But, How do I do that...? 198 00:15:18,821 --> 00:15:21,152 Put your hand under! Just do it! 199 00:15:46,974 --> 00:15:48,427 Nine! 200 00:15:49,351 --> 00:15:50,391 What's happening? 201 00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:52,761 My foot was under yours, Sir Duke Conde. 202 00:15:52,931 --> 00:15:55,801 Put back immediatly your foot under mine. Do not interrupt the fluid. 203 00:15:56,131 --> 00:15:57,961 everything must stay as when I won. 204 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,931 - And keep it on with my ass. - I keep on... 205 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,781 ...touching your ass... - A million? 206 00:16:02,471 --> 00:16:03,511 A million. 207 00:16:13,258 --> 00:16:15,059 Eight! 208 00:16:17,951 --> 00:16:20,721 A horrible sufference, but short... 209 00:16:20,831 --> 00:16:24,121 Because in the span of two hands, Semenzara lost everything ...... 210 00:16:24,181 --> 00:16:27,010 and went under of 22 kilos of chips. 211 00:16:34,131 --> 00:16:35,991 And stop touching my ass!! 212 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:51,286 But, at about 3 am, the Conde Duke had a stroke of luck 213 00:16:51,287 --> 00:16:53,562 ...and won a clamorous prize. 214 00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:57,811 What were you doing just then? 215 00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:01,071 Me? I allowed myself to drink few drops of mineral sparkling water. 216 00:17:01,591 --> 00:17:03,961 Bravo, bravo! Keep doing that! 217 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:08,241 Valet, bring immediately 25 bottles of mineral water, 218 00:17:08,242 --> 00:17:09,244 ...Of the same brand! 219 00:17:09,391 --> 00:17:11,921 It was the terrible "Acqua Berthier", 220 00:17:11,991 --> 00:17:14,021 The gassiest on the planet... 221 00:17:15,441 --> 00:17:16,681 Nine! 222 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,681 Drink, drink! 223 00:17:20,251 --> 00:17:21,071 Sorry... 224 00:17:31,591 --> 00:17:36,771 - What is your rank in the company?. - Me? Twelfth. The lowest. 225 00:17:37,051 --> 00:17:38,661 I upgrade you at the 11�. 226 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:42,951 ...With my own personal desk, and fake leather chair? 227 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,871 S�, s�. But keep drinking! 228 00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:50,641 In 2 hours Fantozzi drunk 4 boxes of "Berthier"... 229 00:17:50,871 --> 00:17:53,541 Equivalent to 3 cubic meters of compressed gas. 230 00:17:54,111 --> 00:17:57,121 Therefore it had to be anchored like a balloon.. 231 00:18:07,511 --> 00:18:08,961 No, no. Give me back the chair. 232 00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,541 - Give me the chair. - Quiet, quiet. 233 00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:16,871 It may fall on someone's head. 234 00:18:17,991 --> 00:18:19,791 This is the casino's chair. Go now. 235 00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:22,838 On the bright side, during those 2 hours... 236 00:18:22,839 --> 00:18:26,273 He climbed with mad speed all the Company's hierarchical steps. 237 00:18:26,341 --> 00:18:27,691 even 3 by 3... 238 00:18:28,181 --> 00:18:29,466 Employee of 7th rank: 239 00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:32,381 mahogany desk, and artificial leather armchair, 240 00:18:32,841 --> 00:18:35,366 phone, ficus plant, symbol of power. 241 00:18:35,461 --> 00:18:39,332 Fifth rank: opaline lamp, flat glass,, 242 00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:42,680 Painting "naif" from Yugoslavia on the wall, 2 ficus. 243 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,151 First rank: 244 00:18:44,401 --> 00:18:47,702 4 ficus, 3 phones, dictaphone, 245 00:18:47,703 --> 00:18:50,732 six "naif" paintings, rug on the floor. 246 00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:53,241 He had come to the threshold of leadership 247 00:18:53,351 --> 00:18:55,941 ie greenhouse of ficus, 248 00:18:56,211 --> 00:18:58,151 and armchair in human skin, 249 00:18:58,401 --> 00:19:02,581 when fortune turned away ruinously from Semenzara 250 00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:27,151 You ruined me, idiot! 251 00:19:27,321 --> 00:19:28,981 Retire! Vanish. 252 00:19:29,151 --> 00:19:32,901 Idiot, king of the idiots! 253 00:20:00,051 --> 00:20:00,996 Hei, hei, hei! Drop that ashtray! 254 00:20:01,031 --> 00:20:03,841 It belongs to the Casino! where are you going, give it back! 255 00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:30,461 Forgive me... 256 00:20:38,923 --> 00:20:41,959 "play them at Roulette when inspiration will come " 257 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,844 "Twenty-seven, as my age." 258 00:20:46,031 --> 00:20:49,381 "Dad, did you get me a gift this time?" 259 00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:56,831 - No more! - Wait, I bet here! I put 20,000 to 27! 260 00:21:15,528 --> 00:21:17,417 27, red and odd! 261 00:21:17,418 --> 00:21:19,329 Here, it's me! 262 00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:21,381 - Sorry ... - To whom does this belong? 263 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:23,141 It's mine. 264 00:21:26,521 --> 00:21:27,281 Yes of course. 265 00:21:27,561 --> 00:21:32,061 Of course it belongs to the Duke Conde. 266 00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:36,611 I would never dare to play, even less, to win. 267 00:21:36,741 --> 00:21:38,381 268 00:21:38,461 --> 00:21:41,731 Excuse me, How much is the winning? 269 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,961 - 700 thousand liras. - Ah, good! 270 00:21:46,808 --> 00:21:48,702 With that blood money 271 00:21:48,703 --> 00:21:51,700 Semenzara paid the bill of his suite at the Grand Hotel. 272 00:21:51,906 --> 00:21:56,056 With the remaining amount, 2 whores, and a bed cabin for the way back on the train. 273 00:21:56,857 --> 00:22:00,167 Fantozzi instead, had to find a different solution with his own means. 274 00:22:08,371 --> 00:22:10,461 Ughino, Look how you've become. 275 00:22:10,771 --> 00:22:12,451 All stuck... 276 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,821 Can't even speak... 277 00:22:17,841 --> 00:22:20,971 Now I will heal you with grandma's flaxseeds... 278 00:22:21,241 --> 00:22:22,551 279 00:22:23,581 --> 00:22:26,351 - Are you happy? - No, no! - I'll go to the kitchen and back... 280 00:22:32,531 --> 00:22:34,321 Here is a lukewarm one. 281 00:22:34,411 --> 00:22:37,081 Then I'll bring you another hotter. 282 00:22:39,171 --> 00:22:43,171 At that temperature, Fantozzi always fell in a mystical ecstasy... 283 00:22:59,531 --> 00:23:05,611 This time he saw the archangel Gabriel which announced his upcoming motherhood. 284 00:23:26,701 --> 00:23:28,441 Opening of the hunting season. 285 00:23:29,231 --> 00:23:31,351 This year, again dragged by the implacable Filini ... 286 00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:34,131 always possessed by ideas of new and tragic initiatives... 287 00:23:34,232 --> 00:23:35,234 Fantozzi also 288 00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:36,621 decided to partecipate 289 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,961 Filini's equipment: 290 00:23:38,971 --> 00:23:42,140 Sherlock Holmes hat, with Robin Hood style feather, 291 00:23:42,641 --> 00:23:47,231 An Argentine poncho that belonged to a rich aunt, tennis shoes with galoshes over 292 00:23:47,371 --> 00:23:48,411 Topografic maps... 293 00:23:48,431 --> 00:23:50,711 And a Calabrian bandit's trombone. 294 00:23:51,261 --> 00:23:52,361 Fantozzi: 295 00:23:52,801 --> 00:23:55,777 white hat, sailor style, of his daughter Mari�ngela ... 296 00:23:55,800 --> 00:24:00,080 Painfully normal jacket, tight at the waist by a gigantic cartridge belt, 297 00:24:00,081 --> 00:24:03,160 ...machine gun, a 2nd World War residue, 298 00:24:03,161 --> 00:24:06,831 sling, viper bite serum, 299 00:24:06,832 --> 00:24:10,731 canary in a cage, and hunting stray cat... 300 00:24:10,732 --> 00:24:13,311 who immediately fled at the beginning of the operation... 301 00:24:14,501 --> 00:24:15,541 How wonderful!! 302 00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:18,491 This is a paradise on Earth! 303 00:24:19,201 --> 00:24:19,971 Breath! 304 00:24:20,741 --> 00:24:21,831 Too bad, mr. Accountant! 305 00:24:22,171 --> 00:24:22,981 What? 306 00:24:23,041 --> 00:24:25,481 That you could not bring your Albertuccia. 307 00:24:25,561 --> 00:24:26,196 ...Albertuccia? 308 00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:28,481 I mean, Albertina, the baboon! 309 00:24:28,581 --> 00:24:30,071 Your daughter... 310 00:24:30,341 --> 00:24:33,500 - Ah, Mariangela! - Of Course. 311 00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:34,641 She surely would have had fun... 312 00:24:34,642 --> 00:24:36,001 Jumping from tree to tree. 313 00:24:36,321 --> 00:24:37,256 What do you mean, from tree to tree? 314 00:24:37,291 --> 00:24:38,751 No, I meant, from meadow to meadow! 315 00:24:38,761 --> 00:24:40,671 But here we are really out of the world, Where are we? 316 00:24:40,841 --> 00:24:43,467 We are exactly in this place, Can you see it? 317 00:24:43,668 --> 00:24:46,301 - Your feather... - Do you see it? 318 00:24:46,691 --> 00:24:50,191 Actually I do not see anything, Your feather is piercing my eye... 319 00:24:50,371 --> 00:24:52,301 here is a famous hill, 320 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:55,841 practically no man has even been there. 321 00:24:55,861 --> 00:24:58,181 It is a place that nobody knows! 322 00:25:00,021 --> 00:25:05,031 < 620 hunters in 14 square meters. 323 00:25:31,221 --> 00:25:33,681 It's mine! Whatever it is, is mine. 324 00:25:33,716 --> 00:25:36,141 325 00:25:36,481 --> 00:25:39,801 It was Margheriti, knight of the Instituto Case Popolari. 326 00:25:40,161 --> 00:25:43,411 Ex regional champion of bird whistling imitation. 327 00:25:43,571 --> 00:25:44,971 It's mine, I said! 328 00:25:49,231 --> 00:25:51,931 After 6 minutes, Industrial consultant Carletti... 329 00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:55,261 Called "the hare" because of a congenital malformation to the upper lip... 330 00:25:55,691 --> 00:25:59,751 felt unconfortably observed... 331 00:26:00,552 --> 00:26:03,054 - There! - Let's get him! 332 00:26:08,891 --> 00:26:12,481 But you... You're not a man! You are a hyena! 333 00:26:13,661 --> 00:26:15,981 Yes, that's right, He is a hyena! 334 00:26:16,881 --> 00:26:18,551 And a very good specimen! 335 00:26:31,441 --> 00:26:35,031 Let's not get confused! Let's split in groups. 336 00:26:35,151 --> 00:26:37,881 Now, married guys to the hill, and singles to the valley. 337 00:26:38,251 --> 00:26:40,211 Yeah! Let's go! 338 00:26:43,331 --> 00:26:44,471 Is there a photographer?? 339 00:26:56,931 --> 00:26:58,151 Watch those hands!! 340 00:26:58,651 --> 00:27:00,451 Sorry, but the shotgun is mine! Where is your slingshot? 341 00:27:01,061 --> 00:27:02,031 Didn't you bring your slingshot? 342 00:27:02,131 --> 00:27:05,541 But you still did not shoot, we are the only ones who did not yet shoot today. 343 00:27:06,011 --> 00:27:07,131 What happened? 344 00:27:07,866 --> 00:27:08,941 What happened? 345 00:27:08,951 --> 00:27:10,046 Good morning, sir. 346 00:27:10,081 --> 00:27:12,700 It's that, we can't, eh... shoot. 347 00:27:13,101 --> 00:27:13,900 Let me see... 348 00:27:13,961 --> 00:27:15,021 - Do you know about it? - Some. 349 00:27:15,122 --> 00:27:18,606 - Let's see what's the problem. - But of course, it's not loaded! 350 00:27:22,431 --> 00:27:26,861 Look, Accountant, have you, by any chance, touched the trigger? 351 00:27:27,101 --> 00:27:28,321 I can't remember... 352 00:27:28,431 --> 00:27:32,241 Sorry, do you mind if I leave this here and I take yours instead? 353 00:27:33,531 --> 00:27:35,231 Well, see you soon and good hunting. 354 00:27:35,931 --> 00:27:38,011 See you. And watch out, huh. 355 00:27:38,681 --> 00:27:42,601 The ones with money came with armored vehicles, complete with personal guards. 356 00:27:43,961 --> 00:27:45,961 Bravo! Good shot Marquis! 357 00:27:52,031 --> 00:27:55,061 A megalomaniac rented a bomber! 358 00:28:07,761 --> 00:28:12,170 For a perfect slingshot strike, aim, 359 00:28:12,171 --> 00:28:15,950 keep the target in the middle of the fork, 360 00:28:15,951 --> 00:28:19,679 pull the elastic with strenght, until it comes to your ear, 361 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,651 then let go... 362 00:28:31,761 --> 00:28:36,151 The poorest ones, counterattacked with the not less effective strategies of guerrilla. 363 00:28:45,881 --> 00:28:48,431 Help me! Help me, please! 364 00:28:52,311 --> 00:28:54,141 Attack! 365 00:28:58,751 --> 00:29:02,571 I now got hold of a good gun myself, Did you see? 366 00:29:02,961 --> 00:29:04,221 Look how nice! 367 00:29:04,821 --> 00:29:09,081 Enough slingshot! Now I can also shoot! 368 00:29:13,241 --> 00:29:14,921 Accountant, are you hurt? 369 00:29:15,851 --> 00:29:19,221 Absolutely... Only very ... ever so slightly ... 370 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,171 I think I need a urologist... 371 00:29:26,801 --> 00:29:31,371 Look, for 2 left ears I can give you the index of the right hand... 372 00:29:32,191 --> 00:29:33,931 ...Of a lawyer. - With nail? 373 00:29:34,001 --> 00:29:37,881 - Yes, it's complete. Look how nice. - two ears... 374 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:41,111 - Got a light, please? - Good morning. 375 00:29:41,281 --> 00:29:42,331 Good morning. How is it? 376 00:29:42,821 --> 00:29:44,781 My stomach burns. 377 00:29:47,821 --> 00:29:50,501 - I must be a bit nervous ... - What can we do ... 378 00:29:51,941 --> 00:29:54,681 Sometimes it's the nerves... 379 00:29:54,811 --> 00:29:56,581 Hey Accountant, Where's your gun? 380 00:29:57,481 --> 00:29:59,101 Mine? I always keep it... 381 00:30:01,901 --> 00:30:03,931 Come on! Be a man! 382 00:30:19,341 --> 00:30:21,061 C'mon Accountant, shoot now! 383 00:30:25,411 --> 00:30:28,701 He got it in the sleeve! A granade in the sleeve! Run! 384 00:30:42,671 --> 00:30:44,491 Go! 385 00:30:45,141 --> 00:30:48,061 Did you find it, Accountant? 386 00:30:48,381 --> 00:30:50,271 How do you feel? 387 00:30:50,991 --> 00:30:52,031 - Great! - Good. 388 00:31:02,311 --> 00:31:04,281 Hostilities ceased at sunset. 389 00:31:04,871 --> 00:31:08,845 They all returned home with their prey and trophies ... 390 00:31:08,846 --> 00:31:11,891 just in time to see the results of football. 391 00:31:12,581 --> 00:31:14,971 Next Sunday we'll be back and teach them a lesson. 392 00:31:15,211 --> 00:31:18,971 We can't, there's the trip to Genoa, for the baptism of the new starship Enterprise. 393 00:31:19,351 --> 00:31:22,001 - You can not miss. - I have an appointment with my brother ... 394 00:31:22,291 --> 00:31:25,641 We added it to the list! He owes me 5000 lira. 395 00:31:44,081 --> 00:31:48,381 Godmother of the baptism, the ineffable Countess Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare ... 396 00:31:48,951 --> 00:31:50,831 great shareholder of the Company. 397 00:32:11,661 --> 00:32:13,531 Here, Countess! Your turn! 398 00:32:15,871 --> 00:32:19,941 From 32 meters distance la Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare starts... 399 00:32:25,581 --> 00:32:27,871 Master of ceremony! Can I throw it? 400 00:32:28,431 --> 00:32:29,851 Throw it, Contessa, throw it! 401 00:32:42,981 --> 00:32:44,521 - Here, Contessa. - Another bottle? 402 00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:45,691 Yes, please. 403 00:32:47,571 --> 00:32:51,641 This time from 46 meters distance, la Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare starts... 404 00:32:55,031 --> 00:32:58,311 Emcee! Can I re-throw it? 405 00:32:58,421 --> 00:33:00,701 Retry, Contessa! But aim more to the centre. 406 00:33:10,281 --> 00:33:15,291 Fantozzi decided to wait in the water till the end of the ceremony. 407 00:33:18,641 --> 00:33:22,351 Emcee! Can I retry again? 408 00:33:22,491 --> 00:33:25,991 Re-retry Contessa! But more to the right! 409 00:33:27,551 --> 00:33:28,971 They followed in order... 410 00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:31,101 Mayor with tricolor sash... 411 00:33:32,721 --> 00:33:34,171 Minister of Merchant Marine... 412 00:33:36,511 --> 00:33:40,751 Baroness Filiguelli Bonchamp, 102, lifetime company mascot... 413 00:33:40,755 --> 00:33:45,441 All authorities were quietly thrown aside. 414 00:33:48,571 --> 00:33:53,091 When the reserve of champagne terminated, it was decided to change the ritual of the ceremony. 415 00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:59,461 Cut of a metal wire that would trigger ... 416 00:33:59,471 --> 00:34:00,871 the mechanism of the baptism. 417 00:34:01,051 --> 00:34:05,861 Re-starts from 76 meters away la Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare... 418 00:34:06,751 --> 00:34:08,301 419 00:34:09,311 --> 00:34:13,011 I cut, in the name of God! 420 00:34:14,181 --> 00:34:17,211 full Archbishop's littlefinger with pastoral ring! 421 00:34:17,631 --> 00:34:20,041 Damn sow, daughter of a great ...! 422 00:34:28,631 --> 00:34:35,211 The ship was christened at nightfall once appeased the cardinal's homicidal rage. 423 00:34:37,381 --> 00:34:41,763 At night the festivities continued with a big party at the house on the hill, 424 00:34:41,764 --> 00:34:44,345 belonging to Counts Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare. 425 00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:47,554 Who, besides inviting the usual and powerful princes, 426 00:34:47,555 --> 00:34:50,105 extended the invitation the rest of the employees, 427 00:34:50,106 --> 00:34:54,643 even the most humble, given the upcoming union agreements. 428 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,774 This is a real Brandeburg dog, Archduchess, look. 429 00:34:58,851 --> 00:35:01,231 But he scares me a bit. 430 00:35:03,951 --> 00:35:08,931 Fantozzi and Filini arrived with two terrible fracs they hired. 431 00:35:09,032 --> 00:35:13,801 Filini looked like a mutilated... Fantozzi was virtually in bermudas! 432 00:35:17,831 --> 00:35:19,651 What's that? A calf? 433 00:35:19,754 --> 00:35:21,621 No, no, no! It's a horse! 434 00:35:22,222 --> 00:35:25,072 - I think it's a... puppy. - A dog...? 435 00:35:25,273 --> 00:35:27,845 A big puppy. a 2 tons puppy. 436 00:35:29,671 --> 00:35:33,793 - He's looking at us. He has a human stare. - Yes? 437 00:35:34,021 --> 00:35:35,201 You see? He purrs... 438 00:35:36,581 --> 00:35:37,681 Pardon... 439 00:35:38,501 --> 00:35:41,306 Sorry Doctor, but we our invitation cards. 440 00:35:41,341 --> 00:35:44,551 If you're kind enough to move that leg, we'd go to the party. Thank you. 441 00:35:56,441 --> 00:35:59,470 Filini and Fantozzi, What happened to them, I did not see them around. 442 00:35:59,771 --> 00:36:01,321 Maybe they were not invited. 443 00:36:01,422 --> 00:36:03,690 You're wrong, we invited everybody. 444 00:36:03,691 --> 00:36:08,134 - Yes? - Even the errand boys, everyone. 445 00:36:08,135 --> 00:36:09,699 - Well, well. - Why, is someone missing? 446 00:36:09,700 --> 00:36:14,238 Two rude ones, Countess. Two they think it's chic to be late. 447 00:36:14,339 --> 00:36:17,231 - But do not worry, countess. - Yes, I worry ... 448 00:36:17,532 --> 00:36:21,041 There are two beloved employees whose whereabouts are unknown! 449 00:36:21,331 --> 00:36:23,251 - Help us! - Horrible dog, help! 450 00:36:23,861 --> 00:36:27,631 - Help! - Contessa, help! 451 00:36:28,901 --> 00:36:30,481 What are you doing, watch out! 452 00:36:30,861 --> 00:36:32,671 A human stare, wasn't it? 453 00:36:33,091 --> 00:36:34,861 Purring, wasn't it? 454 00:36:36,271 --> 00:36:37,561 I admit that I was wrong. 455 00:36:37,701 --> 00:36:38,611 Quiet, "Fido"! 456 00:36:39,321 --> 00:36:40,771 Try with "Fufi"! 457 00:36:41,061 --> 00:36:42,071 Quiet, "Fufi"! 458 00:36:42,781 --> 00:36:43,861 Try "Bobi"! 459 00:36:43,862 --> 00:36:44,811 Quiet "Bobi"! 460 00:36:46,731 --> 00:36:47,324 Friedman! 461 00:36:47,525 --> 00:36:49,381 Friedman is not a dog's name! 462 00:36:49,801 --> 00:36:51,041 How on earth is called? 463 00:36:51,231 --> 00:36:54,401 His name was Ivan the Terrible the thirty-second. 464 00:36:54,502 --> 00:36:57,071 Direct descendant of Ivan the terrible the first. 465 00:36:57,072 --> 00:36:58,931 Who belonged to Czar Nicholas I. 466 00:36:59,041 --> 00:37:01,844 Legendary champion of hunting of Russian peasants in the steppes ... 467 00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:07,011 and executed as an enemy of the people, in the October Revolution in the Red Square. 468 00:37:07,331 --> 00:37:09,646 Now come on. Here we are coming! Slowly, carefully ... 469 00:37:09,647 --> 00:37:12,431 - Do not fret, dear ... - Here we are! 470 00:37:13,951 --> 00:37:16,761 - No, I'll bring the stairs. - Do not make efforts, please. 471 00:37:20,401 --> 00:37:22,061 I'm sorry, employee! 472 00:37:24,081 --> 00:37:26,291 Forgive me employee! Are you hurt? 473 00:37:26,771 --> 00:37:30,431 It's nothing. Only a complicated skull fracture. 474 00:37:31,341 --> 00:37:34,021 To make up for the unfortunate accident... 475 00:37:34,222 --> 00:37:37,338 Counts Serbelonni, with an astute patronal move... 476 00:37:37,439 --> 00:37:40,645 invited Fantozzi and Filini to the table of honour. 477 00:37:40,746 --> 00:37:42,219 - Bring it there. - Employee! 478 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,049 - Fantozzi. - Employee! 479 00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:47,936 Allow me to introduce some of our friends: 480 00:37:48,837 --> 00:37:52,271 Excellency, His Eminence Vetanza. 481 00:37:52,781 --> 00:37:55,525 - Do�a Mi�az de Coral... - Sorry... 482 00:37:55,626 --> 00:37:57,361 my hand is slightly sweatty. 483 00:37:57,363 --> 00:38:01,101 General of Aviation Ernesto Maria Lampioni. 484 00:38:02,140 --> 00:38:04,641 Young Marchesa Giava delle Corte. 485 00:38:07,251 --> 00:38:09,961 You know the rules, Fantozzi ...! 486 00:38:09,981 --> 00:38:13,530 You do know how to behave in high society, don't you? 487 00:38:13,571 --> 00:38:15,921 What you must do and must not do... 488 00:38:16,411 --> 00:38:19,313 - yes, yes! - We'll see! 489 00:38:19,314 --> 00:38:22,501 Why, "we'll see"? My hand was only a bit sweatty, sorry. 490 00:38:37,991 --> 00:38:39,971 - Your shoes. - Thanks, should be exquisi ... 491 00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:46,321 The cocker had taken them, the puppy... 492 00:39:13,591 --> 00:39:17,951 Employee! Do you knows our Ambassador in Germany? 493 00:39:18,781 --> 00:39:22,691 Count Otto von Liujbert Steigner. 494 00:39:22,981 --> 00:39:24,551 Heil Hitler! Forgive me... 495 00:39:24,771 --> 00:39:26,421 Just call me Otto (Eight). 496 00:39:26,422 --> 00:39:27,438 No, no, at least Nine... 497 00:39:28,039 --> 00:39:29,937 - Ten! - Eleven! - Twelve! 498 00:39:30,138 --> 00:39:31,730 Fantozzi won. 499 00:39:31,831 --> 00:39:32,651 �Thirtynine, take this! 500 00:39:40,122 --> 00:39:43,430 How good! Exquisit! 501 00:39:48,671 --> 00:39:54,671 The glasses: 5 in a line on his right and another 5 in line on his left. 502 00:39:54,972 --> 00:39:56,697 What would you drink? 503 00:39:56,898 --> 00:39:58,223 Aren't you thirsty? 504 00:39:58,425 --> 00:40:01,190 My saliva levels are down to zero... 505 00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:02,171 then drink! 506 00:40:09,731 --> 00:40:10,571 What are you doing? 507 00:40:11,921 --> 00:40:13,761 I read... I read my hand... 508 00:40:14,061 --> 00:40:17,001 See? The line of luck ... 509 00:40:25,241 --> 00:40:26,306 What day is today? 510 00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:30,422 - Sunday! - Sunday! - They said the same thing at the same time! 511 00:40:30,457 --> 00:40:32,453 Let's do "flic-flac", Give me your little finger! 512 00:40:33,755 --> 00:40:36,620 Ring finger... Middle... 513 00:40:42,101 --> 00:40:45,791 The Thrush, the most difficult thing in nature! 514 00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:22,335 Cheers! 515 00:41:37,791 --> 00:41:40,501 - Have you finished it? - Yes, I ate it. 516 00:41:47,621 --> 00:41:48,896 How am I doing? 517 00:41:48,931 --> 00:41:50,301 bad, by God! 518 00:42:02,401 --> 00:42:06,111 At the end, he took a drastic decision, he swallowed it whole. 519 00:42:19,518 --> 00:42:21,054 So good! 520 00:42:25,761 --> 00:42:30,973 Fantozzi's colors: red, Pompeian red, orange lobster, 521 00:42:31,574 --> 00:42:35,891 violet, dull purple, dark blue, 522 00:42:36,521 --> 00:42:40,281 at dark blue, Fantozzi entered a cardio respiratory arrest. 523 00:42:44,611 --> 00:42:47,701 Rice from the oven with cherry tomatoes garniture. 524 00:42:48,001 --> 00:42:51,184 The tomatoes have this tragic feature: 525 00:42:51,485 --> 00:42:56,551 outside: cold, inside ... Fireball at 18,000 degrees! 526 00:42:56,731 --> 00:42:59,841 I'm going to get this one! 527 00:43:09,301 --> 00:43:10,851 You're not going to spit it here, I hope? 528 00:43:11,161 --> 00:43:12,321 No, no... 529 00:43:15,821 --> 00:43:19,861 You will not spit here? You're not going to do that, Fantozzi! Get out! 530 00:43:24,131 --> 00:43:26,214 Fantozzi! Maybe you know ... 531 00:43:26,415 --> 00:43:29,341 What was the name of that temp with that boiled fish face? 532 00:44:19,151 --> 00:44:20, Little tomatoes... 533 00:44:24,521 --> 00:44:25,681 - Fantozzi! - S�? 534 00:44:25,741 --> 00:44:27,401 Open your mouth and close your eyes. 535 00:44:35,250 --> 00:44:38,036 - Fantozzi! 536 00:44:40,471 --> 00:44:43,821 he had falled right into the arms of Iv�n the terrible... 537 00:44:44,131 --> 00:44:47,019 who after dragging him to the darkest corner of the park, 538 00:44:47,020 --> 00:44:51,862 began to dig a sinister looking grave, 1.30 for 2. 539 00:45:32,461 --> 00:45:33,491 And go, then! 540 00:45:37,591 --> 00:45:40,511 It was not the lights of a car that wanted to pass, 541 00:45:53,561 --> 00:45:56,026 The beast kept him besieged for a week, 542 00:45:56,327 --> 00:45:59,956 that was obviously counted as vacation. 543 00:46:01,741 --> 00:46:04,961 Ugo? Is it hot enough? 544 00:46:07,921 --> 00:46:11,023 An injustice that Fantozzi could not stand ... 545 00:46:11,024 --> 00:46:13,166 so that for the first time in his life, 546 00:46:13,167 --> 00:46:16,005 He faked being sick, and stayed home. 547 00:46:20,060 --> 00:46:21,021 The control! 548 00:46:25,894 --> 00:46:29,001 Wait. Do not open! Do not open! 549 00:46:40,961 --> 00:46:44,231 It wasn't the doctor, it was Mr. Bonetti from the 7th floor! 550 00:46:45,451 --> 00:46:47,011 What happened to the Virgin Mary? 551 00:46:49,971 --> 00:46:52,755 Bonetti? And what the hell did he want, 552 00:46:52,756 --> 00:46:54,805 Bonetti from the 7th floor? To give me a heart attack? 553 00:46:55,061 --> 00:46:58,384 No. He has to leave unexpectedly with his family ... 554 00:46:58,485 --> 00:47:01,001 What do I care about this? 555 00:47:01,191 --> 00:47:04,991 He had three free tickets for the American Circus ... 556 00:47:05,281 --> 00:47:07,741 he kindly gave them to us. 557 00:47:08,391 --> 00:47:09,151 Free... 558 00:47:09,941 --> 00:47:11,893 He could not sleep all night 559 00:47:12,194 --> 00:47:13,511 The risk was insane! 560 00:47:13,912 --> 00:47:16,214 If you were discovered you would risk at least... 561 00:47:16,215 --> 00:47:18,215 a public whipping in the cantine. 562 00:47:18,431 --> 00:47:22,881 But it was the first time in his life that Fantozzi had free tickets. 563 00:47:23,571 --> 00:47:25,446 - What happens? - I've decided. 564 00:47:25,747 --> 00:47:27,775 - We'll go. - Where? - To the circus. 565 00:47:28,861 --> 00:47:30,541 - We'll be careful... - Oh, My God... 566 00:47:30,621 --> 00:47:31,411 ...But we will go. 567 00:47:46,031 --> 00:47:47,441 - Ugo, is that you? - S�. 568 00:47:49,431 --> 00:47:50,437 - It's dad! 569 00:47:50,738 --> 00:47:51,961 Put the scarf back! 570 00:47:52,591 --> 00:47:54,271 Let's go. 571 00:48:25,501 --> 00:48:28,441 The tickets! Oh God! 572 00:48:29,821 --> 00:48:31,531 Oh, here they are! That's better! 573 00:48:31,611 --> 00:48:32,761 Come, Mari�ngela. 574 00:48:36,468 --> 00:48:40,930 And now, ladies and gentlemen, our intelligent chimps! 575 00:48:42,571 --> 00:48:44,021 Don't make me pull you, dear... 576 00:48:44,331 --> 00:48:46,611 Dad, I'm here! 577 00:48:48,821 --> 00:48:55,500 Hello, miss. You see... Ah, it's because you have the same dress... 578 00:48:55,510 --> 00:48:57,849 It was a misunderstanding. keep up the good work. 579 00:48:58,550 --> 00:48:59,871 "Come on, darling". 580 00:49:02,001 --> 00:49:03,791 Come, Chita... Eh, Mariangela. 581 00:49:07,991 --> 00:49:10,501 Did you see Pina, how cute was that monkey? 582 00:49:11,311 --> 00:49:14,762 You seem Mariangela, that monkeys are superior animals... 583 00:49:14,765 --> 00:49:20,970 excuse me... Aren't you the one who was supposed to be in bed, sick? 584 00:49:21,201 --> 00:49:23,781 Me? No, you're making a mistake! 585 00:49:24,581 --> 00:49:27,881 And now comes into play... 586 00:49:27,916 --> 00:49:30,400 the great Hungarian artist! 587 00:49:30,672 --> 00:49:32,977 - Take this! - What are you doing here? 588 00:49:33,980 --> 00:49:34,984 Take this! 589 00:49:46,341 --> 00:49:47,431 Go get it immediately! 590 00:49:49,321 --> 00:49:50,431 591 00:49:50,971 --> 00:49:52,980 Look at this clown! 592 00:49:53,638 --> 00:49:55,701 Take this, why not? 593 00:49:56,802 --> 00:50:00,397 Gentlemen, our Bronco "Wild Horse". 594 00:50:30,801 --> 00:50:33,001 Greetings, thank you very much! 595 00:50:43,281 --> 00:50:46,011 Accountant Ugo Fantozzi, 7829/bis tuition ... 596 00:50:46,401 --> 00:50:50,781 Consider my situation. Hold me tight! 597 00:50:55,621 --> 00:50:56,821 - Ugo! - Pap�! 598 00:50:57,441 --> 00:51:00,621 So you are Accountat Fantozzi! 599 00:51:00,861 --> 00:51:03,801 - No, I insist! 600 00:51:04,451 --> 00:51:05,541 it's not me! 601 00:51:12,671 --> 00:51:16,241 And now ladies and gentlemen, the most sensational number! 602 00:51:17,471 --> 00:51:20,561 Mr. Superflight. The bullet man! 603 00:51:23,931 --> 00:51:25,291 Stop! Quiet everybody! 604 00:51:25,961 --> 00:51:28,151 Accountant Fantozzi! 605 00:51:28,671 --> 00:51:30,211 Come out! 606 00:51:31,991 --> 00:51:37,341 I know you're in there! Come out I tell you! 607 00:51:39,241 --> 00:51:39,921 Oh, is that so? 608 00:51:40,122 --> 00:51:41,171 Then I'll take care of you! 609 00:51:52,471 --> 00:51:56,171 He was found a few days later in the province of Agrigento ... 610 00:51:56,331 --> 00:51:58,141 by the Archangel Michael. 611 00:52:00,821 --> 00:52:04,766 The divine messenger, reminded him that he was 9 months, 612 00:52:04,831 --> 00:52:08,661 and recommended to delve into the delivery room. 613 00:52:09,551 --> 00:52:12,791 Sorry Doctor, Hadn't we agreed in Bethlehem? 614 00:52:14,396 --> 00:52:16,453 Well, if you say so. Okay. 615 00:52:42,741 --> 00:52:46,460 "Battleship KOTIOMKIN" 616 00:52:50,831 --> 00:52:53,831 Many years ago, Fantozzi was hired by the company ... 617 00:52:54,211 --> 00:52:57,381 with the position of "Sponge for stamps." 618 00:53:02,361 --> 00:53:05,521 He succeeded because, in the aptitude test ... 619 00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:08,305 following the advice of a corrupt chief porter, 620 00:53:08,607 --> 00:53:13,251 responding to two strange questions from the chairman of the committee 621 00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:20,821 Do you like the German Expressionist film? 622 00:53:22,271 --> 00:53:23,611 It is the love of my life. 623 00:53:23,891 --> 00:53:26,731 And I want to remind here the great teachers: Murnau ... 624 00:53:26,981 --> 00:53:28,271 and Robert Wiene, 625 00:53:28,371 --> 00:53:32,743 from whom we cannot forget "Das kabinett... 626 00:53:32,744 --> 00:53:35,031 des Doktor Caligarisss". 627 00:53:35,391 --> 00:53:36,941 Caligari! 628 00:53:38,851 --> 00:53:41,971 Who is David Yourrrrrgryft? 629 00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:47,681 I did not hear... 630 00:53:48,282 --> 00:53:52,755 - Gryft! - Griffith! the father of American cinema! 631 00:53:52,756 --> 00:53:55,451 - Yes, him! - I adore him, he is like a father to me. 632 00:53:55,821 --> 00:53:59,220 Well, young man. You are one of us! 633 00:54:02,691 --> 00:54:05,911 The powerful Professor Maria Ricardelli Guidobaldo, 634 00:54:06,071 --> 00:54:08,801 was a fanatic worshiper of art cinema. 635 00:54:09,301 --> 00:54:13,121 Once a week he would force his employees and their families... 636 00:54:13,551 --> 00:54:16,181 to terrifying visions of cinema classics. 637 00:54:16,671 --> 00:54:19,730 In 20 years Fantozzi had to watch, again and again, 638 00:54:19,801 --> 00:54:23,624 "Dies Irae", from Carl Theodor Dreyer. Six hours. 639 00:54:23,930 --> 00:54:27,101 "Men of Aran," Flaherty. Nine parts. 640 00:54:27,401 --> 00:54:30,170 But above all, the most classic of classics ... 641 00:54:30,173 --> 00:54:33,432 ..."Battleship Kotiomkin"!. 18 rolls. 642 00:54:33,854 --> 00:54:39,031 Of which Professor Ricardelli, possessed a rare personal copy. 643 00:54:39,971 --> 00:54:41,681 Excuse me. What do they show tonight? 644 00:54:41,891 --> 00:54:44,661 - "Battleship Kotiomkin". - "Battle... ". 645 00:54:46,251 --> 00:54:49,561 - Go, go! 646 00:54:49,562 --> 00:54:50,564 - Battleship... "! - Ughino... Be brave. 647 00:56:23,531 --> 00:56:25,111 Excuse me... 648 00:56:26,581 --> 00:56:30,523 - �Ugo! Wake up! - I caught you, "Fantocci"! You sleep! 649 00:56:30,524 --> 00:56:33,812 �No Professor, It was a sudden spell of sickness! 650 00:56:33,921 --> 00:56:35,981 No madam. He sleeps like a piece of shit. 651 00:56:36,651 --> 00:56:39,986 - Wake up!. - It's already 7:00? Alarm clock! 652 00:56:39,987 --> 00:56:42,239 - Coffee, newspaper, bus! - Ugo! 653 00:56:42,551 --> 00:56:44,681 Good morning, Professor. Has the film already ended? 654 00:56:44,701 --> 00:56:47,282 - No, but you'd like that, you piece of shit? - No, no, no. 655 00:56:47,284 --> 00:56:48,891 There are still 3 parts. 656 00:56:48,926 --> 00:56:50,651 Great! 3 parts... 657 00:56:50,671 --> 00:56:52,191 And you will see them on your knees. 658 00:56:52,381 --> 00:56:54,101 Kneeling is better ... 659 00:56:54,102 --> 00:56:59,601 - On your knees ... - Not here. Come, follow me! 660 00:57:02,271 --> 00:57:05,401 It's a piece of shit. That's the right word ... 661 00:57:07,391 --> 00:57:08,641 Here!On the chickpeas! 662 00:57:09,431 --> 00:57:11,471 Let's see if you sleep well here. 663 00:57:11,861 --> 00:57:15,261 For more than 20 years suffered Fantozzi horrible public humiliation... 664 00:57:15,551 --> 00:57:17,291 during and after the screenings, 665 00:57:17,711 --> 00:57:20,801 when Ricardelli would open a discussion about the film. 666 00:57:22,031 --> 00:57:26,171 And now, as always, I invite you to express your aesthetic judgment. 667 00:57:26,941 --> 00:57:28,261 It's a great film! 668 00:57:29,300 --> 00:57:31,311 - I demand a word in! - You ... 669 00:57:31,581 --> 00:57:33,938 - Is a masterpiece. - The eye of the mother, 670 00:57:33,939 --> 00:57:36,754 - ... the stroller with the baby! - You, Filini ... 671 00:57:37,101 --> 00:57:40,331 When I see the detail of the boots, I fall into ecstasy. 672 00:57:40,511 --> 00:57:41,391 Say. 673 00:57:41,501 --> 00:57:45,881 Tonight the analog montage moved me completely! 674 00:57:46,971 --> 00:57:49,301 The boots of the soldiers and above all, the stroller! 675 00:57:49,661 --> 00:57:51,811 Yes, it's true. Say. 676 00:57:52,151 --> 00:57:56,124 The poor baby stroller that rushes down the stairs. 677 00:57:56,125 --> 00:57:58,521 Professor, couldn't we watch it again from the beginning? 678 00:57:59,101 --> 00:58:00,981 I wish, dear friend. But it's late. 679 00:58:04,011 --> 00:58:07,203 And you, "Fantocci"! Do you open your mouth only to yawn? 680 00:58:07,804 --> 00:58:08,880 �No tiene nada que decir? 681 00:58:09,111 --> 00:58:10,251 ...Nothing to say? 682 00:58:11,561 --> 00:58:15,941 My husband, the Accountant Fantozzi, is awestruck. 683 00:58:16,161 --> 00:58:19,741 No ma'am "Fantocci" Your husband is a piece of shit. 684 00:58:20,001 --> 00:58:21,301 Is it true or not? 685 00:58:29,261 --> 00:58:33,251 On Saturday the 18th, at 20:25 pm, Live from Wembley stadium, 686 00:58:33,471 --> 00:58:36,421 England-Italy, qualification for the World Cup. 687 00:58:36,961 --> 00:58:39,511 Fantozzi had a wonderful program! 688 00:58:39,701 --> 00:58:44,351 Socks, underwear, flannel robe, table watching television ... 689 00:58:44,352 --> 00:58:46,687 his favourite, omelette with onions, 690 00:58:46,688 --> 00:58:49,575 large beer cold, demoniac breath ... 691 00:58:49,576 --> 00:58:51,035 and free burping! 692 00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,744 "We are now connecting to Wembley to broadcast on Eurovision "... 693 00:58:55,745 --> 00:58:58,092 "the live broadcast of the match" ... 694 00:58:58,093 --> 00:59:00,991 "Italy-England, valid for the World Cup. " 695 00:59:03,500 --> 00:59:08,791 Ugo, look, Doesn't she look as an angel? 696 00:59:09,941 --> 00:59:13,625 Yeah, fine. Look, don't boter me, I don't want to hear a fly. 697 00:59:13,626 --> 00:59:15,741 Pina, pepper, pepper! 698 00:59:16,341 --> 00:59:19,291 And, Pina, don't forget to disconnect... 699 00:59:19,541 --> 00:59:25,540 "In a moment we'll switch to Wembley to broadcast on Eurovision "... 700 00:59:25,541 --> 00:59:28,321 "Italia-Inghilterra, valid for the world cup". 701 00:59:31,751 --> 00:59:33,491 Oh, it's you Accountant Filini! 702 00:59:33,492 --> 00:59:36,461 Aha, Filini! I'm already in the trenches! 703 00:59:36,462 --> 00:59:40,970 I bet we win, 10 coffees to 1. Italy, Italy! 704 00:59:40,981 --> 00:59:41,911 Did you hear? 705 00:59:43,931 --> 00:59:44,941 What? 706 00:59:46,341 --> 00:59:49,976 Fine, Accountant. We obey. 707 00:59:50,011 --> 00:59:52,871 "Dear viewers, we are at Wembley ... " 708 00:59:52,901 --> 00:59:54,756 Italia, Italia! 709 00:59:54,757 --> 00:59:58,176 "Teams are placed in the field to sing the national anthems. " 710 01:00:01,691 --> 01:00:06,061 Ugo! I think you can not watch the game tonight. 711 01:00:06,096 --> 01:00:07,181 What!? 712 01:00:07,451 --> 01:00:09,011 - We gotta get out ... - What... 713 01:00:09,401 --> 01:00:10,851 Professor Ricardelli. 714 01:00:10,981 --> 01:00:11,441 No! 715 01:00:11,501 --> 01:00:17,561 Filini to me we have to go immediately to see a Checoslovak film. 716 01:00:18,471 --> 01:00:20,241 But with German subtitles! 717 01:00:20,341 --> 01:00:22,511 - No! - Ugo! - Dad... 718 01:00:23,151 --> 01:00:24,521 Ughino, don't be like that! 719 01:00:25,711 --> 01:00:30,213 "We reached the big time. Italy-England are played in this historic match"... 720 01:00:30,214 --> 01:00:32,528 "qualification for the finals World Cup. " 721 01:00:33,161 --> 01:00:36,161 "Inquiry of timers. The referee blows" ... 722 01:00:36,196 --> 01:00:36,981 The match has begun! 723 01:00:39,121 --> 01:00:44,476 "Capelli Pass to Purici. To Antonioni. Tunnel to the English defender ". 724 01:00:44,477 --> 01:00:47,246 - "Another tunnel. heel for Roccia". - Ugo, we are running late. 725 01:00:48,175 --> 01:00:51,179 "Center, miracolous intervention of the English porter. 726 01:00:51,684 --> 01:00:54,759 "Take from the bottom. Controls Benetti Purici happens to the left ". 727 01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:58,392 "Formidable cannon of Purici that clears the crossbar. " 728 01:00:58,393 --> 01:01:03,015 "The ball is controlled by Bellugi. Bellugi for Capello now as right wing. 729 01:01:03,016 --> 01:01:06,815 "Elude the McKinley center trying to stop it. 730 01:01:06,817 --> 01:01:09,899 "Shoots, nape of English, Capello quill again neck, "... ... 731 01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:13,228 "terrible confusion, nose, neck, shin, neck, ear "... 732 01:01:13,229 --> 01:01:15,210 "enters Purici, Almost goes off target ". 733 01:01:16,211 --> 01:01:19,966 "Sorry for the excitement, friends who are facing the screen "... 734 01:01:20,112 --> 01:01:24,240 "but I haven't seen such a good start of the Azzurri since 170 years. 735 01:01:24,241 --> 01:01:28,771 "The ball is by Tardelli, speeding. McKinley eludes stop trying "... 736 01:01:30,172 --> 01:01:33,790 "Shoot. Nape of McKinley, Savoldi leg, nose of Antognoni ". 737 01:01:33,791 --> 01:01:37,287 "Nape of English goalkeeper, nose McKinley, Benetti leg, neck "... 738 01:01:43,341 --> 01:01:45,781 - Adjust it!! - There you go! 739 01:01:46,251 --> 01:01:48,341 - Ughino, calm down please... - I couldn't hear... 740 01:01:58,651 --> 01:01:59,558 "Fabulous strike!"... 741 01:01:59,559 --> 01:02:01,459 �Pole!Pole! 742 01:02:05,281 --> 01:02:08,161 - Ugo where are you going? - Will you come back, dad? 743 01:02:08,262 --> 01:02:11,042 "The Azzurri tear in again. They approach the English area. " 744 01:02:11,043 --> 01:02:15,514 "Azzurri attack. Antognoni jump almost hangs on the back to McKinley. " 745 01:02:17,281 --> 01:02:18,771 Excuse me. Who hit the pole? 746 01:02:20,210 --> 01:02:21,321 "strike from McKinley," 747 01:02:21,631 --> 01:02:24,450 "Terrible fall of the English goalkeeper". 748 01:02:25,151 --> 01:02:27,756 "The 120,000 spectators at Wembley and you, the lucky million "... " 749 01:02:27,757 --> 01:02:30,610 "that nothing could tear away from the front of the screen "... 750 01:02:31,011 --> 01:02:34,990 "may notice that tonight's Italy dwarfs the memory "... 751 01:02:34,991 --> 01:02:38,341 "of that legendary extra time of Italy, Germany, Mexico " 752 01:02:45,901 --> 01:02:47,291 Nothing? 753 01:02:49,331 --> 01:02:50,031 The tie? 754 01:02:54,691 --> 01:02:58,416 Pocket ... Perfect! 755 01:03:00,281 --> 01:03:02,251 Okay, go ahead! 756 01:03:03,181 --> 01:03:04,211 The mouth ... 757 01:03:06,941 --> 01:03:09,121 Pregnant? 9 inches? ... Congratulations. 758 01:03:09,481 --> 01:03:10,731 Did you see? What an embarassment. 759 01:03:35,461 --> 01:03:39,691 With great sadness I must inform you that by an oversight ... 760 01:03:40,461 --> 01:03:43,701 the copy of the Czechoslovak film did not arrive on time. 761 01:03:44,561 --> 01:03:46,891 Therefore we cannot make the projection. 762 01:03:47,051 --> 01:03:48,571 Let's go! 763 01:03:49,621 --> 01:03:50,911 Where are you going? Everybody freeze! 764 01:03:54,631 --> 01:04:00,511 Instead, there will be a screening of the Masterpiece of Serghei M. Einstein ... 765 01:04:00,941 --> 01:04:02,521 ... "Battleship Kotiomkin". 766 01:04:20,181 --> 01:04:24,891 Tonight I feel a more vibrant tension, they are more active, they exchange comments. 767 01:04:24,951 --> 01:04:26,741 yes, they partecipate more, Professor. 768 01:04:28,371 --> 01:04:31,398 they were not exchanging comments. In the darkness of the room... 769 01:04:31,399 --> 01:04:33,703 were running uncontrollable and implausible rumors. 770 01:04:34,031 --> 01:04:37,001 It was said that Italy won 20-0 ... 771 01:04:37,451 --> 01:04:41,301 and goalkeeper Zoff had made a header from a corner. 772 01:04:52,224 --> 01:04:54,137 Twentyone! 773 01:05:17,531 --> 01:05:20,671 Well, we opened our usual debate. 774 01:05:21,541 --> 01:05:22,661 Who want to speak? 775 01:05:24,511 --> 01:05:27,321 Filini? Calboni? 776 01:05:31,441 --> 01:05:34,811 Excuse me! Can I say something? 777 01:05:35,311 --> 01:05:36,991 Ah, our piece of shit! 778 01:05:37,471 --> 01:05:40,081 Come Fantocci! Please come. 779 01:05:40,421 --> 01:05:42,686 Finally you have an opinion. 780 01:05:43,221 --> 01:05:47,931 Who knows what deep aesthetic judgment you must have matured over the years? 781 01:05:48,534 --> 01:05:50,237 Talk, talk. 782 01:05:50,940 --> 01:05:51,742 Well? 783 01:05:52,431 --> 01:05:56,241 For me, "Battleship Kotiomkin" ... 784 01:05:57,781 --> 01:05:59,391 ...It's fucking shit! 785 01:06:13,041 --> 01:06:15,681 Ninety-two minutes of applause! 786 01:06:19,191 --> 01:06:21,731 Got it? Piece of shit! 787 01:06:34,781 --> 01:06:37,481 Burn! There you have soldiers' boots! 788 01:06:39,161 --> 01:06:41,298 The first thing was to destroy forever ... 789 01:06:41,299 --> 01:06:44,281 The damn personal copy of the damn "Battleship Kotiomkin." 790 01:06:45,401 --> 01:06:48,121 On the chickpeas! 791 01:06:51,361 --> 01:06:54,431 - Look! - Your "eye of the mother"! 792 01:06:54,634 --> 01:06:56,537 The baby stroller! 793 01:06:58,091 --> 01:06:59,951 There is your analog montage! 794 01:07:00,581 --> 01:07:01,921 �"Halt"! Just a moment! 795 01:07:02,331 --> 01:07:04,481 Now, the screenings! 796 01:07:08,041 --> 01:07:11,060 Guidobaldo Mar�a Riccardelli was forced to watch for 2 days... 797 01:07:11,061 --> 01:07:14,733 and 2 nights non stop, to see continuously rotating... 798 01:07:15,034 --> 01:07:19,091 "Giovannona long legs", "The Esorciccio" y "police are pissed off". 799 01:07:24,561 --> 01:07:26,531 - Want some coffee? - How about some coffee? 800 01:07:29,471 --> 01:07:31,011 Come on, right! Piece of shit. 801 01:07:31,381 --> 01:07:32,711 - Ughino, a coffee? - No, no. 802 01:07:33,711 --> 01:07:35,271 Bravo, my hero Fantozzi! 803 01:07:35,311 --> 01:07:39,989 Until the dawn of the third day, the police got pissed off for real. 804 01:07:43,691 --> 01:07:46,181 There's no escape! You are surrounded! 805 01:07:46,991 --> 01:07:47,931 Never! 806 01:07:49,731 --> 01:07:51,371 - Never! 807 01:07:52,851 --> 01:07:56,253 �Fantozzi, I am the Director of Directors! 808 01:07:56,254 --> 01:08:00,362 I advise you to release immediately the hostage... 809 01:08:00,363 --> 01:08:01,351 And to surrender unconditionally! 810 01:08:01,641 --> 01:08:03,861 We'll never surrender, did you hear me? 811 01:08:04,461 --> 01:08:06,431 Never! Bah, maybe... 812 01:08:07,601 --> 01:08:08,501 Stop it! 813 01:08:10,031 --> 01:08:12,231 To partly compensate Professor Ricardelli... 814 01:08:12,551 --> 01:08:16,066 of the irreparable loss of his beautiful film ... 815 01:08:16,067 --> 01:08:19,363 The mutineers were sentenced a horrendous punishment, 816 01:08:19,364 --> 01:08:20,745 worth of a Dantean circle of hell. 817 01:08:21,446 --> 01:08:25,990 They had to recreate atleast the main sequence of the masterpiece destroyed, 818 01:08:26,231 --> 01:08:30,461 every saturday afternoon, until they reached retirement ... 819 01:08:31,721 --> 01:08:32,971 We can begin! 820 01:08:47,971 --> 01:08:48,971 Die, Filini! 821 01:08:51,696 --> 01:08:53,720 - Bastards! - We will take revenge! 822 01:08:54,151 --> 01:08:55,291 Down boy! 823 01:08:58,761 --> 01:08:59,891 mother's eye! 824 01:09:11,751 --> 01:09:12,741 Soldiers open fire! 825 01:09:13,621 --> 01:09:15,124 Murderers! 826 01:09:15,125 --> 01:09:16,759 Now, the stroller! 827 01:09:16,851 --> 01:09:18,901 - Please, go slow... - S�, Accountant. 828 01:09:18,902 --> 01:09:20,551 Today it's already the 4th time! 829 01:09:26,550 --> 01:09:28,602 Oh, mam�! �Oh, mam�! Oh God! 830 01:09:35,721 --> 01:09:36,871 Bravo, "Fantocci"! 831 01:09:37,561 --> 01:09:40,641 You are so nicely chubby, Like an infant. 832 01:09:40,901 --> 01:09:43,411 Don't worry, nobody will take away this role from you. 833 01:09:43,921 --> 01:09:46,191 You have the "fisique du role". 834 01:09:46,451 --> 01:09:48,221 Now do another take. 835 01:09:48,651 --> 01:09:50,621 - Another?. - Yes, yes, another. 836 01:09:53,441 --> 01:09:54,711 - We do another one? - Yes.. 837 01:09:54,841 --> 01:09:56,971 Good, have you seen the analog montage? 838 01:09:57,051 --> 01:09:58,751 Almost better than the Master's one! 839 01:10:00,141 --> 01:10:02,701 Let's start again! Get back in your position! 840 01:10:17,901 --> 01:10:20,791 - Ugo! - Bye, Dad! 841 01:10:22,411 --> 01:10:26,060 A sad morning, Mrs. Pina and Mari�ngela, left ... 842 01:10:26,061 --> 01:10:30,025 to attend the funeral of a distant second cousin in Pescara. 843 01:10:31,641 --> 01:10:35,111 They left Fantozzi alone with his pain. 844 01:10:39,861 --> 01:10:42,549 After centuries of everyday family bondage ... 845 01:10:42,550 --> 01:10:46,160 He was free. And with a free house ... 846 01:10:46,367 --> 01:10:48,301 Calboni took advantage situation. 847 01:10:48,303 --> 01:10:51,334 and involved him in a shady affair... 848 01:10:51,371 --> 01:10:54,311 With that face, I bet you need to tell me something. 849 01:10:54,411 --> 01:10:57,734 Something unpleasant, but you lack the courage, right? 850 01:10:58,021 --> 01:10:59,681 - No... - S�. 851 01:11:00,181 --> 01:11:03,157 Could it be that the Engineer Masella Cominetti ... 852 01:11:03,158 --> 01:11:04,735 wants the balance for tomorrow morning ... 853 01:11:04,736 --> 01:11:08,459 and that you, me and Filini ... 854 01:11:08,460 --> 01:11:11,422 Must work all night at your house? 855 01:11:11,423 --> 01:11:13,631 - S�? - S�. 856 01:11:14,331 --> 01:11:16,381 I'm sorry. Just tonight, 857 01:11:16,382 --> 01:11:18,401 that I had invited my wife out for dinner ... 858 01:11:19,211 --> 01:11:21,291 Dont worry about it, maybe I can come too... 859 01:11:21,361 --> 01:11:22,811 To give you company. 860 01:11:22,891 --> 01:11:23,621 -Why Not? _Not! 861 01:11:26,191 --> 01:11:27,271 Oh, nevermind then. 862 01:11:27,611 --> 01:11:29,781 - Can I sit he... - No, it's busy. 863 01:11:31,541 --> 01:11:33,401 - and here? - No, also busy. 864 01:11:35,221 --> 01:11:39,535 - All busy... - Move on, go. further down there is plenty of room. 865 01:11:39,536 --> 01:11:41,851 Then I'll leave, ma'am ... Bon appetit ... 866 01:11:42,011 --> 01:11:43,011 Bye, Fantozzi. 867 01:11:50,611 --> 01:11:53,341 Then Vivi, what shall we do, are you busy?. Oh, Ok. 868 01:11:54,001 --> 01:11:57,138 The appointment was at 21:30 at the phone booth 869 01:11:57,139 --> 01:11:58,241 of Garibaldi Avenue. 870 01:11:58,641 --> 01:12:01,621 here Calboni made 126 phone calls... 871 01:12:01,711 --> 01:12:04,180 to an equal number of unknown people, 872 01:12:04,181 --> 01:12:06,781 describing them to us as actresses and models. 873 01:12:07,871 --> 01:12:10,851 Hi, Zizi. Oh, did you recognize me? 874 01:12:11,041 --> 01:12:13,671 Si, s�. I am with 2 friends. 875 01:12:15,221 --> 01:12:17,441 Let's say middle-aged. 876 01:12:17,681 --> 01:12:21,071 ne short and fat. The other is thin, but shortsighted. 877 01:12:21,351 --> 01:12:23,861 Double lenses. Type owl, do you know? 878 01:12:24,801 --> 01:12:27,031 What Ah, I see. 879 01:12:27,681 --> 01:12:30,751 All right. Ciao, Zizi! 880 01:12:31,521 --> 01:12:32,851 She's also is busy? 881 01:12:32,961 --> 01:12:35,381 No, they're all free... 882 01:12:35,481 --> 01:12:37,391 But when I start describing you, they make excuses. 883 01:12:37,611 --> 01:12:39,351 But if you, describes so ... 884 01:12:39,551 --> 01:12:41,021 "Owl type," he says!! 885 01:12:41,161 --> 01:12:43,321 But I cannot compromise my reputation! 886 01:12:43,356 --> 01:12:45,071 I cannot sell a dead. 887 01:12:45,431 --> 01:12:48,751 Calboni sorry, could you not be at least lighter with the next one? 888 01:12:48,752 --> 01:12:51,721 ...What next one? - What next, the last one was Zizi. 889 01:12:52,741 --> 01:12:56,241 - How, Zizi? - Watch out, disgraces can happen. 890 01:12:58,451 --> 01:12:59,201 Well? 891 01:13:03,271 --> 01:13:05,201 I finished my ones. And yours!? 892 01:13:05,251 --> 01:13:06,951 No, no, no, sorry... 893 01:13:08,401 --> 01:13:11,443 - El Contable Fantozzi was... - Oh God... 894 01:13:12,444 --> 01:13:14,351 - What's happening "puccettone? - "Lost...! I've lost them! 895 01:13:14,401 --> 01:13:18,031 Oh God! I've lost them! 896 01:13:18,432 --> 01:13:19,534 My savings... 897 01:13:20,641 --> 01:13:23,274 So we said: Accountant fantozzi put in the place, 898 01:13:23,275 --> 01:13:26,470 I brought the alcohol, the rest was up to you. 899 01:13:26,841 --> 01:13:29,191 Ok, just a moment. Let's see... 900 01:13:29,841 --> 01:13:32,451 Oh, what an idiot! Why did I not think about it earlier? 901 01:13:33,301 --> 01:13:35,241 - What? - The "Hippopotamus"! 902 01:13:35,621 --> 01:13:38,501 is it a girl who's... 903 01:13:39,091 --> 01:13:40,141 No, it's a club! 904 01:13:40,371 --> 01:13:44,731 it's full of nice lonely ladies, who go there looking for company... 905 01:13:44,831 --> 01:13:46,281 Let's go! Taxi! 906 01:13:46,321 --> 01:13:48,516 - Which are the first three? - Why three? 907 01:13:48,518 --> 01:13:50,828 One each, no? You live only once! 908 01:13:50,829 --> 01:13:51,754 Taxi! 909 01:13:57,771 --> 01:13:58,591 Hi, babe! 910 01:14:01,371 --> 01:14:03,121 bab... sorry, miss. 911 01:14:03,981 --> 01:14:06,091 - Is the action started? - we are the first in. 912 01:14:06,791 --> 01:14:11,171 She meant they were the first clients in 3 months. 913 01:14:12,091 --> 01:14:14,651 - People is coming! - C'mon girls, get ready! 914 01:14:25,631 --> 01:14:27,841 They are all high class, girls from the high bourgeoise. 915 01:14:27,981 --> 01:14:30,181 - Ah! - There's also some big name around. 916 01:14:30,241 --> 01:14:31,201 No, don't know them. 917 01:14:31,290 --> 01:14:34,351 But they are incognito. Club's rule. 918 01:14:34,741 --> 01:14:36,631 Here, no names, only telephone numbers. 919 01:14:37,731 --> 01:14:38,881 - Got it? - You choose and call ... 920 01:14:39,221 --> 01:14:40,431 A "drink", gentlemen? 921 01:14:42,071 --> 01:14:43,301 Do you want to drink? 922 01:14:44,891 --> 01:14:46,661 We brought a bottle... 923 01:14:48,161 --> 01:14:51,531 Don't be stupid! You bring the bottles from home? 924 01:14:52,161 --> 01:14:54,211 we'll take 3 "scotch", please. 925 01:14:55,401 --> 01:14:56,440 What do we drink, Calboni? 926 01:14:56,441 --> 01:14:57,444 Three "scotch". 927 01:14:57,645 --> 01:14:58,681 I meanwhile ... 928 01:14:58,781 --> 01:14:59,821 "Scotch"... 929 01:15:02,601 --> 01:15:03,241 Yes? 930 01:15:03,661 --> 01:15:07,481 Lady Ten, Will you grant an appointment, say ... 931 01:15:07,482 --> 01:15:11,481 on the dancefloor, say in 5 seconds? 932 01:15:11,511 --> 01:15:13,011 - Ok. - see you soon. 933 01:15:14,721 --> 01:15:17,491 You see? C'mon, try it yourselves. 934 01:15:19,901 --> 01:15:23,851 Thank you, Countess. Thank you, dear. So beautiful! 935 01:15:24,471 --> 01:15:26,471 So? Will you choose. 936 01:15:26,541 --> 01:15:27,911 - Me? - S�. 937 01:15:29,341 --> 01:15:33,001 Filini, n.3 is looking at us... 938 01:15:33,381 --> 01:15:36,071 N. 12! N. 7! 939 01:15:37,141 --> 01:15:38,311 N. 1 too! 940 01:15:39,871 --> 01:15:40,801 And n. 5! 941 01:15:41,501 --> 01:15:44,371 Accountant, they are all watching us. 942 01:15:44,511 --> 01:15:46,431 Accountant, say a number. 943 01:15:46,571 --> 01:15:47,806 - Me. - S�. 944 01:15:48,041 --> 01:15:49,770 Ah, ah, ah... 180! 945 01:15:49,971 --> 01:15:52,481 Too much, they're only 12! 946 01:15:54,531 --> 01:15:56,881 Eh, I like n.5... 947 01:15:57,051 --> 01:15:59,494 Damn, I like n. 5 too! 948 01:15:59,495 --> 01:16:01,931 - You can have her! - No, no, no, she's yours. 949 01:16:01,932 --> 01:16:04,111 No please! Go on. 950 01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:09,551 - Stay calm. - I've got sweatty hands. 951 01:16:09,911 --> 01:16:12,781 Here! I make the number. 952 01:16:15,211 --> 01:16:17,901 - Hello! - Hello, Who's there? 953 01:16:18,001 --> 01:16:20,456 - It's Olga, darling. - Oh, it's not the Cometti's house? 954 01:16:21,021 --> 01:16:22,941 Sorry, wrong number. 955 01:16:23,081 --> 01:16:25,381 - Your turn. - wrong number... 956 01:16:25,941 --> 01:16:27,131 You try now. 957 01:16:27,221 --> 01:16:28,651 Did you call me, darling? 958 01:16:29,531 --> 01:16:31,481 - Good morning. You called Mrs.?. - I truly ... 959 01:16:31,531 --> 01:16:35,161 So why did you call me? Do you mind if I sit? 960 01:16:35,721 --> 01:16:38,061 - Of course... - Do you mind if my friend also come? 961 01:16:39,931 --> 01:16:43,554 - Do you mind if I order champagne? - Waiter, take away this stuff. 962 01:16:43,555 --> 01:16:45,500 Out, out! Gar�on, champagne! 963 01:16:47,241 --> 01:16:49,022 They did everything one can do... 964 01:16:49,023 --> 01:16:50,886 To be robbed in a nightclub. 965 01:16:51,451 --> 01:16:54,277 Two boxes of Dom Perignon made with bicarbonate. 966 01:16:55,271 --> 01:16:56,611 What a good drink! 967 01:16:57,100 --> 01:16:59,014 Midnight flambe'dinner. 968 01:17:00,171 --> 01:17:01,261 I adore flames. 969 01:17:02,961 --> 01:17:04,875 Photos souvenir of the evening. 970 01:17:05,176 --> 01:17:07,411 Calboni ordered 40 copies. 971 01:17:08,561 --> 01:17:12,311 Enormous stuffed toys, as a present for the ladies. 972 01:17:14,301 --> 01:17:16,981 Gypsy Violins on the dancefloor. 973 01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:18,800 Miss, if only ... 974 01:17:19,900 --> 01:17:21,000 I had the chance ... 975 01:17:23,100 --> 01:17:24,300 To find... 976 01:17:25,700 --> 01:17:28,943 A person that can understand me, I could do anything... 977 01:17:29,781 --> 01:17:33,271 - how is it going with yours? - She's a bit tall... 978 01:17:33,941 --> 01:17:36,921 Better. I think they are ready to come by you. 979 01:17:36,922 --> 01:17:38,541 Do you think so? 980 01:17:40,191 --> 01:17:42,961 Bravo! Bravo! Thank you guys! 981 01:17:43,221 --> 01:17:44,861 Good night, let's go. 982 01:17:47,041 --> 01:17:48,601 - The bill, sir... - S�. 983 01:17:51,511 --> 01:17:52,901 Good, put everything on my account... 984 01:17:53,901 --> 01:17:54,641 What account? 985 01:17:55,981 --> 01:17:56,961 Well, send it to my place... 986 01:17:57,501 --> 01:17:58,691 What place? 987 01:17:59,911 --> 01:18:01,782 They will settle for now. We'll calculate later the shares. 988 01:18:01,783 --> 01:18:04,201 - In the meantime I talk to the girls. - Are you going to settle this? 989 01:18:05,871 --> 01:18:06,931 Ah, sorry. 990 01:18:15,981 --> 01:18:17,251 Excuse me... 991 01:18:22,038 --> 01:18:24,411 �649 thousand liras... 992 01:18:25,231 --> 01:18:27,431 Plus 18% service cost. 993 01:18:28,730 --> 01:18:31,581 Four years of sacrifices. 994 01:18:36,391 --> 01:18:41,491 In addition, finally Calboni dropped the mask about the "ladies". 995 01:18:42,831 --> 01:18:46,341 I arranged for 50,000 liras per girl. A good deal, right? 996 01:18:47,471 --> 01:18:49,251 Do you want money? 997 01:18:49,321 --> 01:18:52,161 Why? How much is left in the Box? 998 01:18:52,821 --> 01:18:55,761 With Filini's 8000 liras we have... 999 01:18:56,191 --> 01:18:59,641 - 52000 liras. - Damn! It's enough only for mine. 1000 01:18:59,751 --> 01:19:01,861 pok, give them here. my one wants her money in advance. 1001 01:19:03,881 --> 01:19:06,211 Sorry about that, they are 2 trashy good for nothing. 1002 01:19:06,391 --> 01:19:08,101 C'mon,Let's go. Taxi! 1003 01:19:08,681 --> 01:19:11,161 How do you call a taxi here? Taxi! 1004 01:19:11,661 --> 01:19:13,521 this time he ordered 9 taxi 1005 01:19:14,081 --> 01:19:16,511 In average, 2 and 1/4 per person. 1006 01:19:29,141 --> 01:19:30,580 - Calboni! - Settle the bill please, 1007 01:19:30,581 --> 01:19:33,340 ...We'll settle ourselves later. - But how? I haven't got anything... 1008 01:19:33,381 --> 01:19:34,971 Who's going to settle here? Calboni! 1009 01:19:35,121 --> 01:19:38,871 - I do not have a ... - Who is going to pay here? 1010 01:19:38,931 --> 01:19:40,211 Wait a minute. 1011 01:19:40,712 --> 01:19:41,651 Filini! 1012 01:19:41,671 --> 01:19:42,951 Say, Accountant! 1013 01:19:44,004 --> 01:19:46,434 - Please fix the bill! - Me? 1014 01:19:46,464 --> 01:19:50,164 - yeah, we'll settle between ourselves later. - What do I do? 1015 01:19:50,174 --> 01:19:53,200 Accountant Fantozzi, don't leave me like this! 1016 01:19:53,201 --> 01:19:56,104 Filini spent the rest of the night in first aid ... 1017 01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:58,766 At Our Immaculate Lady Hospital. 1018 01:20:05,084 --> 01:20:08,564 Fantozzi instead spent the night in the foyer of his home. 1019 01:20:18,254 --> 01:20:21,534 It's 7:00!. Pina, coffee, the newspaper, the mail! 1020 01:20:22,374 --> 01:20:24,524 Good morning, Ms. Silvani of Calboni ... 1021 01:20:24,724 --> 01:20:27,114 - What brings you h... - Where is my husband? 1022 01:20:31,344 --> 01:20:32,654 I haven't understood the question. 1023 01:20:32,684 --> 01:20:34,464 Where's that pig? 1024 01:20:34,844 --> 01:20:36,664 - Surveyor Calboni? - Exactly. 1025 01:20:37,344 --> 01:20:42,294 Surveyor Calboni has... taken a detour and went away. 1026 01:20:43,014 --> 01:20:46,164 How good And what were you doing lying here like a watchdog? 1027 01:20:46,594 --> 01:20:49,804 Oh, every Saturday it's my turn... 1028 01:20:49,984 --> 01:20:54,444 - Here in the condo, lots are drawn ... - Do not be a clown, Fantozzi! 1029 01:20:54,884 --> 01:20:56,554 You know very well he is with a woman! 1030 01:20:56,904 --> 01:21:01,104 And you are covering him! you pimp, scoundrel! 1031 01:21:01,264 --> 01:21:02,644 1032 01:21:02,874 --> 01:21:07,625 "Fantocci", don't be a clown, open this door! 1033 01:21:08,104 --> 01:21:09,764 ...I don't have the keys. 1034 01:21:10,354 --> 01:21:11,364 How, is this not your place? 1035 01:21:11,514 --> 01:21:15,224 This? No, this... eh... I... 1036 01:21:16,100 --> 01:21:18,404 He locked himself in. 1037 01:21:21,744 --> 01:21:23,684 - Pig! - You're a pig, Calboni! 1038 01:21:23,964 --> 01:21:26,694 You made her cry! Open! 1039 01:21:27,274 --> 01:21:28,834 ...made her cry. Pig! 1040 01:21:30,475 --> 01:21:31,954 - "Fantocci"... - Fantozzi... 1041 01:21:32,584 --> 01:21:33,704 - "Fantocci"... - "Fantocci"... 1042 01:21:33,884 --> 01:21:38,574 "Fantocci", be a man, and break that door down. 1043 01:21:40,984 --> 01:21:42,184 I break it down... 1044 01:21:46,304 --> 01:21:49,544 It did not work. I try again. 1045 01:21:52,404 --> 01:21:54,404 - What are you doing? - The door is new. 1046 01:21:54,624 --> 01:21:57,114 Push it properly. Let's go over there. 1047 01:21:57,294 --> 01:21:58,494 - Give it a good push. - S�. 1048 01:21:59,834 --> 01:22:03,621 Take career as a gazelle. Well, well. Attack as a battering ram. 1049 01:22:03,654 --> 01:22:04,734 Like this... 1050 01:22:07,654 --> 01:22:08,514 Banzai! 1051 01:22:09,664 --> 01:22:10,934 Yeah, I'm coming... 1052 01:22:18,374 --> 01:22:22,144 He had fallen squarely on bus n. 77 from 5:26 am... 1053 01:22:22,774 --> 01:22:25,864 Which brought him back home at 6:13, 1054 01:22:26,214 --> 01:22:29,444 after a tour of the city. 1055 01:22:38,524 --> 01:22:39,524 Pig! 1056 01:22:40,924 --> 01:22:42,234 Ah, it's you Fantozzi? 1057 01:22:42,754 --> 01:22:44,234 I thought that pig had come back. 1058 01:22:44,954 --> 01:22:47,204 Also, you come in like that, without warning... 1059 01:22:47,244 --> 01:22:49,204 Forgive me, I did not want to frighten you. 1060 01:22:49,764 --> 01:22:52,034 Why do you make that face? I did not kill you. 1061 01:22:52,114 --> 01:22:53,104 It was very light. 1062 01:22:53,174 --> 01:22:56,744 Yes, that's because it was a vase of "blown" glass from Murano, my wife's, very valuable. 1063 01:22:57,054 --> 01:22:59,464 But don't worry, we have 2 of them. 1064 01:22:59,854 --> 01:23:00,984 Ms Silvani de Calboni. 1065 01:23:01,394 --> 01:23:03,454 Don't call me like this, I don't want to hear his name! 1066 01:23:03,544 --> 01:23:05,169 I will not do that again, 1067 01:23:05,204 --> 01:23:07,104 But this is the last... 1068 01:23:07,294 --> 01:23:09,964 it's better I put it somewhere safe. Sorry, ms. 1069 01:23:12,754 --> 01:23:14,464 Fortunately it's safe... 1070 01:23:19,264 --> 01:23:20,494 So now can I call you again... 1071 01:23:20,914 --> 01:23:23,624 Miss Silvani... 1072 01:23:23,914 --> 01:23:24,784 like the good old times? 1073 01:23:25,294 --> 01:23:26,454 - Do you know what he did? - No. 1074 01:23:26,474 --> 01:23:28,804 Do you know? Not only he cheated on me. 1075 01:23:28,964 --> 01:23:30,654 But he fled like a coward, 1076 01:23:30,674 --> 01:23:32,004 And he left me there with that energumena. 1077 01:23:32,254 --> 01:23:33,394 Do you know what she did? 1078 01:23:33,684 --> 01:23:35,754 She broke the umbrella on my head! 1079 01:23:36,154 --> 01:23:38,504 I know, it was my wife's umbrella. The only. 1080 01:23:39,374 --> 01:23:41,344 But this has been the drop that broke the vase. 1081 01:23:41,434 --> 01:23:44,104 There are no more vases! Oh, I thought... 1082 01:23:44,184 --> 01:23:47,234 that you had a modern marriage, and happy. 1083 01:23:48,164 --> 01:23:49,644 It has been the biggest mistake of my life. 1084 01:23:51,844 --> 01:23:52,884 A tragedy! 1085 01:23:53,664 --> 01:23:55,484 - A fiasco! - Miss! 1086 01:23:56,490 --> 01:23:57,792 Miss! 1087 01:23:58,804 --> 01:23:59,754 what are you doing? 1088 01:24:01,184 --> 01:24:02,604 I... was kissing the hand. 1089 01:24:04,054 --> 01:24:06,557 Fortunately I' m still young, and beautiful, 1090 01:24:06,558 --> 01:24:07,624 to build my life again. 1091 01:24:07,704 --> 01:24:09,304 You are very beautiful. 1092 01:24:09,354 --> 01:24:11,684 Enough! You know what I' ll do? 1093 01:24:11,685 --> 01:24:14,344 - No. - I' m going to sleep at the hotel! 1094 01:24:14,424 --> 01:24:15,814 - Bravo! - You know what else? 1095 01:24:16,154 --> 01:24:19,434 I' ll leave my job, get my liquidation. And I will run away with the first one passing by. 1096 01:24:19,594 --> 01:24:21,264 what...Why...? 1097 01:24:21,334 --> 01:24:22,314 What are you saying? 1098 01:24:22,494 --> 01:24:24,254 Why with the first one passing by? 1099 01:24:25,114 --> 01:24:25,674 Miss... 1100 01:24:27,064 --> 01:24:28,794 I' m also tired of this life. 1101 01:24:29,354 --> 01:24:31,234 I can also take my liquidation. 1102 01:24:31,415 --> 01:24:34,224 I' m also young and pleasant enough... 1103 01:24:37,844 --> 01:24:40,234 Miss, I need only a word from you. 1104 01:24:40,584 --> 01:24:42,234 not even that, 1105 01:24:42,394 --> 01:24:44,144 because silence meas consent. 1106 01:24:44,434 --> 01:24:46,654 Miss, let me hug you! 1107 01:24:51,734 --> 01:24:55,574 This time was n. 102 that goes around the hills. 1108 01:24:55,664 --> 01:24:59,116 So Fantozzi had all the time to make a list... 1109 01:24:59,117 --> 01:25:01,790 of all possible solutions for their new life. 1110 01:25:02,196 --> 01:25:05,319 ""Croupier" in Casablanca, drummer in Harlem, 1111 01:25:05,320 --> 01:25:10,212 hippie in Nepal. At the end, he left the choice... 1112 01:25:10,504 --> 01:25:11,634 To his companion. 1113 01:25:12,394 --> 01:25:14,034 - let' s go to Capri. - What for? 1114 01:25:14,494 --> 01:25:15,654 As a honeymoon. 1115 01:25:16,924 --> 01:25:18,144 Then we'll see. 1116 01:25:20,314 --> 01:25:22,934 Accountant, what are you doing! Get a move! 1117 01:25:23,684 --> 01:25:26,456 It was the last card of his life. 1118 01:25:26,724 --> 01:25:31,010 Fantozzi, marked it with indifference. As always. 1119 01:25:40,814 --> 01:25:44,125 With the same style, trying not to show ... 1120 01:25:44,126 --> 01:25:48,314 Any emotion, he had the last meal with his family. 1121 01:26:01,224 --> 01:26:02,424 Well... 1122 01:26:04,224 --> 01:26:06,634 I' m going... 1123 01:26:06,724 --> 01:26:08,154 To buy cigarettes... 1124 01:26:12,924 --> 01:26:14,134 S�, Ugo. 1125 01:26:14,384 --> 01:26:15,754 No, don' t... 1126 01:26:20,054 --> 01:26:23,034 - Ill be back, Straight away. - S�. 1127 01:26:27,554 --> 01:26:29,424 Cigarettes? But dad does not smoke! 1128 01:26:31,204 --> 01:26:33,254 he has decided to try. 1129 01:26:33,734 --> 01:26:34,904 Hopefully he' ll stop soon... 1130 01:26:49,844 --> 01:26:52,554 Miss, imagine that in eleven hours ... 1131 01:26:52,955 --> 01:26:54,734 11 hours and 40 minutes, at the most, 1132 01:26:55,144 --> 01:26:56,784 We' ll be in Naples. 1133 01:26:57,714 --> 01:27:00,774 When I went there on honeymoon, It took only an hour and twenty ... 1134 01:27:01,274 --> 01:27:03,654 In a Mercedes Spider 2800. 1135 01:27:04,104 --> 01:27:07,014 Because Calboni is what will be, but knows a lot about cars. 1136 01:27:07,714 --> 01:27:10,344 Why, with Calboni went Honeymoon ... 1137 01:27:10,774 --> 01:27:11,594 In Capri? 1138 01:27:12,594 --> 01:27:13,984 Why? Where it' s good to go on honeymoon? 1139 01:27:16,854 --> 01:27:19,333 I don' t know... We could have gone to Venice! 1140 01:27:19,964 --> 01:27:21,924 Venice is so obvious... 1141 01:27:22,374 --> 01:27:25,144 It does not matter... what matters is... 1142 01:27:25,284 --> 01:27:27,114 To break with one' s past. 1143 01:27:27,134 --> 01:27:29,694 No, the important thing is arrive in time to last ferry. 1144 01:27:31,744 --> 01:27:33,584 Hurry, Fantozzi! 1145 01:27:33,684 --> 01:27:34,884 Be quick! 1146 01:27:35,264 --> 01:27:37,454 move the wheel! 1147 01:27:38,474 --> 01:27:39,884 faster! 1148 01:27:41,034 --> 01:27:42,774 Brake! Brake! 1149 01:27:43,614 --> 01:27:44,414 Brake! 1150 01:27:51,244 --> 01:27:52,984 Calboni is what will be, 1151 01:27:53,084 --> 01:27:55,094 but the day I came here with him, The day was superb! 1152 01:27:55,294 --> 01:27:56,854 The heat was like in Africa! 1153 01:27:57,964 --> 01:27:59,844 Ok, But Miss... 1154 01:28:00,464 --> 01:28:02,484 that was in July... 1155 01:28:03,244 --> 01:28:05,194 Today it' s the 20th of December. 1156 01:28:07,754 --> 01:28:10,624 I bet Calbonidid not even suffer dizziness... 1157 01:28:11,004 --> 01:28:13,484 You can say what you want about Calboni ... 1158 01:28:13,754 --> 01:28:15,634 but he endure sea as a battleship. 1159 01:28:18,514 --> 01:28:20,194 Don't tell me you' re going to throw up?! 1160 01:28:20,464 --> 01:28:21,554 No, no, no! I... 1161 01:28:21,934 --> 01:28:23,774 I am an aircraft carrier. An aircraft carrier! 1162 01:28:24,124 --> 01:28:25,304 An aircraft carrier! 1163 01:28:28,064 --> 01:28:28,874 Excuse me. 1164 01:28:32,644 --> 01:28:35,134 Man overboard! Man overboard! 1165 01:28:45,014 --> 01:28:46,354 To overcome Calboni, 1166 01:28:46,614 --> 01:28:49,774 Fantozzi chose the most luxurious hotel in Capri. 1167 01:28:50,374 --> 01:28:53,074 Also because, it was the only one open during winter. 1168 01:28:55,984 --> 01:28:57,924 - The bags, please. - Who is it? 1169 01:28:58,344 --> 01:28:59,864 - The bags! - Take these hands ... 1170 01:29:00,264 --> 01:29:02,444 Scoundrel! Bastard! 1171 01:29:02,646 --> 01:29:05,150 - Thief! - Give me back my stuff! 1172 01:29:09,254 --> 01:29:10,879 Excuse sorry ... 1173 01:29:10,914 --> 01:29:12,464 How violent you become with subordinates, Fantozzi. 1174 01:29:12,934 --> 01:29:15,574 i go to sit down, You go to the reception. 1175 01:29:15,944 --> 01:29:16,854 At your service, ma'am. 1176 01:29:21,494 --> 01:29:23,244 Good morning, sorry ... 1177 01:29:23,744 --> 01:29:26,844 Do you happen to have a Single Room for two? 1178 01:29:27,704 --> 01:29:29,054 We only have apartments sir. 1179 01:29:31,534 --> 01:29:32,814 How much? 1180 01:29:33,264 --> 01:29:34,834 - 60000. - Not more? 1181 01:29:34,934 --> 01:29:36,804 Fantozzi thought he meant 60000 per month. 1182 01:29:37,884 --> 01:29:39,304 We are in low season, sir. 1183 01:29:39,964 --> 01:29:42,964 The suite with sea view costs 80,000, sir. 1184 01:29:44,384 --> 01:29:46,904 Sir, if you want something special, we have the royal suite... 1185 01:29:46,914 --> 01:29:47,684 100 thousand. 1186 01:29:48,104 --> 01:29:50,314 - I take it! It' s mine! - Very well. 1187 01:29:50,554 --> 01:29:51,784 Do not give it away. 1188 01:29:52,084 --> 01:29:54,414 1189 01:29:55,054 --> 01:29:58,304 Now I give you my documents... Passport... 1190 01:29:58,754 --> 01:30:00,504 Of Ms... of Miss. 1191 01:30:00,814 --> 01:30:03,124 1192 01:30:03,344 --> 01:30:06,744 - I pay now. - Please afterward. After. 1193 01:30:06,794 --> 01:30:08,504 - Accompany him. - Payment after? 1194 01:30:08,574 --> 01:30:10,394 - Please. - Thanks. 1195 01:30:11,564 --> 01:30:13,514 - No problem. - Is the key? 1196 01:30:14,454 --> 01:30:18,124 An apartment like this per 100000, is worthy of the "Arabian Nights". 1197 01:30:18,604 --> 01:30:20,084 No big deal. 1198 01:30:20,364 --> 01:30:22,594 - This is the bedroom. - Not bad. 1199 01:30:23,154 --> 01:30:24,984 - With 2 bathrooms. - Of course. 1200 01:30:26,464 --> 01:30:28,574 It' s almost vulgar... 1201 01:30:34,004 --> 01:30:35,194 What happens? 1202 01:30:35,874 --> 01:30:37,254 - La llave en el pie... - Bien. 1203 01:30:37,404 --> 01:30:39,837 - The key in the foot ... - Well. 1204 01:30:39,838 --> 01:30:41,874 For dinner would you like the salon, or do you prefer to have it served here? 1205 01:30:42,264 --> 01:30:45,284 Here, with candlelight! An intimate dinner in the bedroom. 1206 01:30:45,734 --> 01:30:47,704 No, look, for me neither here or downstairs .. 1207 01:30:47,739 --> 01:30:49,734 I could not eat a caper tonight. 1208 01:30:50,164 --> 01:30:53,024 My only dream is to be inside this bed. 1209 01:30:53,744 --> 01:30:55,234 In the bed? No capers, 1210 01:30:55,235 --> 01:30:58,280 I don' t want them either! Go away! 1211 01:30:59,154 --> 01:31:00,589 Miss... 1212 01:31:02,824 --> 01:31:05,274 Ugo Fantozzi, What got into your head? 1213 01:31:05,504 --> 01:31:07,474 - What? - Calboni was who he was... 1214 01:31:07,914 --> 01:31:09,640 but to be gentle, on the first night... 1215 01:31:09,641 --> 01:31:11,954 he slept in a different room. Do you want to do less than him? 1216 01:31:12,044 --> 01:31:13,624 S�. I meant, no! 1217 01:31:13,704 --> 01:31:15,774 - Then go to sleep in a different room - S�. 1218 01:31:16,214 --> 01:31:18,074 - Go, understood? - S�. 1219 01:31:19,064 --> 01:31:21,534 - Good night. 1220 01:31:30,074 --> 01:31:32,674 - What do you want now? - ... My hand! 1221 01:31:32,774 --> 01:31:35,914 - What? - I left my hand... 1222 01:31:36,344 --> 01:31:37,454 In the room! 1223 01:31:38,434 --> 01:31:39,770 But I can leave it there tonight... 1224 01:31:39,771 --> 01:31:42,594 No, take it back. 1225 01:31:42,684 --> 01:31:44,344 And do not bother me anymore! 1226 01:31:45,534 --> 01:31:50,204 First day, in the morning. Tragic "shopping" to find the... 1227 01:31:50,664 --> 01:31:54,364 Caprese fisherman clogs, that looked very good on Calboni. 1228 01:31:55,284 --> 01:31:56,974 I love them! 1229 01:31:57,284 --> 01:31:59,364 You look unsure. Can you walk with them? 1230 01:31:59,614 --> 01:32:02,964 S�, s�, Miss, I can walk quite well. 1231 01:32:04,474 --> 01:32:06,384 Nearly as... 1232 01:32:06,574 --> 01:32:08,234 Fucking hell! 1233 01:32:39,603 --> 01:32:41,607 How are you doing? 1234 01:32:42,554 --> 01:32:44,764 Well! Very well! 1235 01:32:59,204 --> 01:33:00,264 Fantozzi! 1236 01:33:00,904 --> 01:33:03,044 Why not enter between the Strait cliffs? 1237 01:33:03,194 --> 01:33:04,594 Always did that! 1238 01:33:37,364 --> 01:33:38,504 Is this yours? 1239 01:33:39,104 --> 01:33:41,304 Yes, bring it to the Royal suite. 1240 01:33:48,174 --> 01:33:51,014 What? Where am I? 1241 01:33:53,144 --> 01:33:54,934 Oh, in the bedroom!. 1242 01:33:55,374 --> 01:33:56,764 - Miss! - yes! 1243 01:33:57,074 --> 01:33:58,504 - Where are you? - Here. 1244 01:33:58,874 --> 01:33:59,839 How are you doing? 1245 01:33:59,874 --> 01:34:01,224 Painting my lips. 1246 01:34:01,264 --> 01:34:02,404 Pin in the lips? 1247 01:34:02,494 --> 01:34:04,594 No, Fantozzi. Painting my lips. 1248 01:34:06,974 --> 01:34:08,404 Miss... 1249 01:34:08,564 --> 01:34:10,714 But I slept... Good morning... 1250 01:34:11,454 --> 01:34:14,584 In the bedroom? 1251 01:34:14,754 --> 01:34:16,354 - S�, s�. - How come? 1252 01:34:16,574 --> 01:34:17,864 S�, Fantozzi. 1253 01:34:19,074 --> 01:34:20,584 - What? - Everything. 1254 01:34:21,004 --> 01:34:24,264 - What!? - We did everything, Fantozzi. 1255 01:34:24,714 --> 01:34:25,934 miss... 1256 01:34:26,024 --> 01:34:28,344 I feel like angels singing. 1257 01:34:29,664 --> 01:34:32,004 always a poet, Fantozzi. 1258 01:34:34,174 --> 01:34:35,909 But Miss, I... 1259 01:34:35,944 --> 01:34:38,804 Do not remember anything... 1260 01:34:39,254 --> 01:34:40,424 That' s better, Fantozzi. 1261 01:34:41,184 --> 01:34:44,264 C'mon.was what he was... 1262 01:34:44,644 --> 01:34:46,074 But at this time he was in the pool. 1263 01:34:46,764 --> 01:34:48,119 Let' s go. 1264 01:34:48,854 --> 01:34:50,184 At the pool then. 1265 01:34:56,194 --> 01:34:58,704 Miss, now a bath, in memory of Calboni! 1266 01:34:59,394 --> 01:35:01,264 Waiter apologize, How's the pool's water? 1267 01:35:01,504 --> 01:35:02,394 What water!? 1268 01:35:09,074 --> 01:35:11,004 �Fantozzi! What do you do? 1269 01:35:11,274 --> 01:35:18,034 Come, Miss, do not be afraid. It's low, I feel the bottom. 1270 01:35:18,844 --> 01:35:22,054 Towards evening, Fantozzi attempted a desperate revenge. 1271 01:35:22,584 --> 01:35:24,204 I hear the sea! 1272 01:35:25,424 --> 01:35:27,164 You hear it and I'm there, 1273 01:35:27,364 --> 01:35:29,424 Because a dive like this... 1274 01:35:29,514 --> 01:35:32,194 Acapulco style, I' m sure Calboni did not do it. 1275 01:35:32,984 --> 01:35:35,424 Is it not too high for you? 1276 01:35:38,094 --> 01:35:40,470 Don' t worry Miss. There' s a boat down there... 1277 01:35:40,471 --> 01:35:42,304 Waiting in case... Here I go! 1278 01:35:43,694 --> 01:35:44,994 Virgin of the divers... 1279 01:36:04,064 --> 01:36:05,834 I see you've had a beautiful day ... 1280 01:36:19,034 --> 01:36:20,724 But this is my clothes. 1281 01:36:21,424 --> 01:36:24,224 And these shoes? 1282 01:36:24,704 --> 01:36:27,374 Sorry whose are those shoes? 1283 01:36:27,594 --> 01:36:31,104 Husband of Mrs... he came to spend the holidays with her. 1284 01:36:31,684 --> 01:36:33,014 they are already celebrating. 1285 01:36:33,734 --> 01:36:35,745 Already.. celebrating... 1286 01:36:35,816 --> 01:36:38,217 How long did it take for you to come! 1287 01:36:38,518 --> 01:36:41,314 Ya no aguantaba m�s. Chin-chin, my love. 1288 01:36:41,834 --> 01:36:44,381 Si, si, chin-chin, chin-chin. But swear... 1289 01:36:44,382 --> 01:36:46,344 That cockroach never touched you. 1290 01:36:46,794 --> 01:36:48,604 But of course I swear! 1291 01:36:49,254 --> 01:36:52,364 He believes I did let him. He fell for it like an idiot. 1292 01:36:52,694 --> 01:36:53,944 I pity him. 1293 01:37:03,394 --> 01:37:06,594 "Repairing the bottom of the pool, Mayor Penon arrangement ... 1294 01:37:06,654 --> 01:37:08,134 Compensation... 1295 01:37:09,044 --> 01:37:11,824 damages to the premises of the square by destruction of relics ... 1296 01:37:11,974 --> 01:37:14,594 four orderlies services, one recovery room ... 1297 01:37:14,954 --> 01:37:16,904 almost new boat completely destroyed ... 1298 01:37:16,954 --> 01:37:20,718 Accommodation of Ms and mr Calbony till Epiphany. 1299 01:37:21,824 --> 01:37:23,424 Will you pay cash? 1300 01:37:26,874 --> 01:37:28,049 promissory notes! 1301 01:37:28,084 --> 01:37:32,364 They were akilo and 250 grams, to be paid in 3 months. 1302 01:37:33,794 --> 01:37:36,584 Fantozzi signed them with icy indifference. 1303 01:37:37,004 --> 01:37:40,264 As he had already decided to kill himself... 1304 01:37:40,274 --> 01:37:42,064 Jumping from Thiberius cliff. 1305 01:37:47,569 --> 01:37:50,626 1306 01:38:01,604 --> 01:38:04,734 He had been fished by a fishing boat from Torre Anunziata... 1307 01:38:05,384 --> 01:38:08,082 re-sold him to "Findus" and offered for sale... 1308 01:38:08,083 --> 01:38:09,674 As frozen bass . 1309 01:38:14,184 --> 01:38:15,514 Merry Christmas, ma'am. What do you want? 1310 01:38:15,574 --> 01:38:19,264 - Merry Christmas. I want that. - That one? 1311 01:38:19,774 --> 01:38:20,744 Two good slices? 1312 01:38:20,884 --> 01:38:23,124 �No, no, no! I want it whole. 1313 01:38:23,626 --> 01:38:25,029 All of it! 1314 01:38:25,994 --> 01:38:27,034 How much is by Kg? 1315 01:38:45,364 --> 01:38:46,504 Ugo... 1316 01:38:47,394 --> 01:38:48,564 You' ll see, everything will get better. 1317 01:38:50,154 --> 01:38:52,384 Also at the Office. 1318 01:38:53,284 --> 01:38:54,474 And if not, it does not matter. 1319 01:38:55,154 --> 01:38:56,384 The only thing that matters, is that you love us. 1320 01:38:58,984 --> 01:39:00,054 Do you love us? 1321 01:39:00,794 --> 01:39:02,004 Do you love us, dad? 1322 01:39:07,674 --> 01:39:09,034 Ok, at the end... 1323 01:39:09,694 --> 01:39:10,884 Who cares! 1324 01:39:13,144 --> 01:39:14,024 Oh God! 1325 01:39:14,714 --> 01:39:15,974 Ugo, are you hurt? 1326 01:39:18,214 --> 01:39:19,734 Ugo, My love. 1327 01:39:27,134 --> 01:39:28,904 - Buon natale! 1328 01:39:38,954 --> 01:39:41,854 Hello? Yes, it' s me. Who' s there? 1329 01:39:43,824 --> 01:39:44,474 Who? 1330 01:39:45,804 --> 01:39:47,124 Is this a joke? 1331 01:39:47,544 --> 01:39:48,414 It wasn't. 1332 01:39:48,624 --> 01:39:52,494 It was really the Mega Galactic President himself. 1333 01:39:52,904 --> 01:39:55,094 Dear Fantozzi, First of all, Happy Christmas. 1334 01:39:55,534 --> 01:39:58,064 I have before me your request for readmission and his file. 1335 01:39:58,844 --> 01:40:01,850 Sorry if I disturb the privacy of your home on this holy night ... 1336 01:40:01,851 --> 01:40:05,205 but I spend here in my office, because for me work ... 1337 01:40:05,207 --> 01:40:06,214 is a prayer. 1338 01:40:06,715 --> 01:40:08,494 I need to talk to you for a moment. 1339 01:40:08,924 --> 01:40:10,464 Sit down and listen. 1340 01:40:32,294 --> 01:40:34,024 So, dear fantozzi, do you accept? 1341 01:40:35,912 --> 01:40:38,544 Fantozzi, are you here? 1342 01:40:39,034 --> 01:40:41,564 - I' ll accept anything! - But how? 1343 01:40:41,654 --> 01:40:43,574 You haven't even heard what I said. 1344 01:40:44,044 --> 01:40:45,434 I accept anything! 1345 01:40:45,514 --> 01:40:47,734 I surrender unconditionally! 1346 01:40:49,474 --> 01:40:52,924 Then come, Fantozzi dear... 1347 01:40:53,774 --> 01:40:55,644 What? Are you afraid? 1348 01:40:56,054 --> 01:40:57,614 But we love you so much. 1349 01:40:57,914 --> 01:41:00,334 That' s why I am afraid... 1350 01:41:00,954 --> 01:41:03,664 Let' s go! 1351 01:41:03,954 --> 01:41:06,164 Let's kill the fat calf! 1352 01:41:06,234 --> 01:41:07,154 Me? 1353 01:41:07,584 --> 01:41:10,714 No, you are the prodigal son. 1354 01:41:11,224 --> 01:41:15,054 the lost sheep who came back to our corral. 1355 01:41:16,064 --> 01:41:18,864 We say, welcome back. 1356 01:41:19,104 --> 01:41:20,934 thanks, will, you take me back? 1357 01:41:20,984 --> 01:41:21,924 Of course! 1358 01:41:22,314 --> 01:41:24,104 My old position? 1359 01:41:24,844 --> 01:41:27,444 No, we cannot do that. 1360 01:41:28,214 --> 01:41:30,634 But we'll give you something else. 1361 01:41:31,074 --> 01:41:32,584 - Meaning? - That is, 1362 01:41:32,704 --> 01:41:34,284 Apart from our forgiveness... 1363 01:41:34,484 --> 01:41:38,554 we offer you the purifying joy of earning your position. 1364 01:41:39,334 --> 01:41:45,109 You' ll start from the lower step, 1365 01:41:45,354 --> 01:41:48,685 we take you back as lightning rod... 1366 01:41:48,686 --> 01:41:51,409 ...lightning. 1367 01:41:52,574 --> 01:41:55,084 Fantozzi! Fantozzi! 1368 01:41:55,594 --> 01:41:57,494 I wish you a good work! 1369 01:41:57,634 --> 01:41:59,184 Dear Accountant! 1370 01:41:59,904 --> 01:42:02,394 And I recommend: Don' t be sad. 1371 01:42:03,014 --> 01:42:06,704 Laugh!. Laugh! Work is bliss. 1372 01:42:06,805 --> 01:42:09,010 Work is happiness! 1373 01:42:10,364 --> 01:42:12,784 That's it. So! 1374 01:42:15,496 --> 01:42:17,496 Let's go to work then! 1375 01:42:19,914 --> 01:42:23,209 Bravo! Good luck, Fantozzi! 1376 01:42:24,000 --> 01:42:27,099 1377 01:42:28,305 --> 01:42:34,657 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org 105784