All language subtitles for The Nanny S03 E19

Oh, this is for you.

Your old modeling agency
is having a reunion.

Oh, look at that.

Boy, you know, I don't know
how I ever lasted as a model.

I mean, every week,
piling on all that hair
and makeup,

squishing into
those tight clothes.

I'll tell you,
I don't miss it at all.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

-Oh, that's ma.
-How do you know?

-[OVEN BELL DINGS]
-Pie's done.

Oh, Fran, I'm so upset.

I don't even know
how I got here.

Well, I see
some Ray's pizza sauce,

some sauerkraut,
and some sprinkles
from Baskin and Robbins.

I'd say you took
the subway to 59th Street

and walked Lexington Avenue.

Go ahead. Make fun.

Meanwhile,
my life is over.

Your father is not
attracted to me anymore.

I even tried
surprising him
at the door, naked.

Ma, you didn't.

I did.

Meanwhile, you will
never see another

Jehovah's Witness
in my building again.

Ma, why don't
you just relax?

I'm sure
it's just a phase.

Honey, we haven't had
relations in two whole weeks.

-Two weeks?
-Two weeks?

-Please, tell it...
-I'm crying bitter tears...

-...to someone who cares.
-...over here.

So, I've decided
to have some
cosmetic surgery.

I'm having my arms done.

Look at this.

It's-- it's just
like tapioca pudding.

Ma, that
is tapioca pudding.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

SINGER:♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl
we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed?
♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪

Well, you know what,
ma?

Not many people would
trust a plastic surgeon

whose office is between
Miller's Outpost
and Hickory Farms.

This doctor
did Aunt Ceil,

and I think she looks
like a work of art.

Yeah, ma, a Picasso.

Fran, I'm gonna go
pick up something
at Brooks Brothers.

Why? What do
you need there?

The tie salesman.

I'll tell you,
if I died tomorrow,

I'd feel like
I accomplished something.

I'll meet you
at the shoe store.
I'm gonna go cruise

-the chicks at the Limited.
-Okay. Oh, B,

wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Your wallet's
sticking out.

All your cash is showing.

Oh, no.
That's right.

That's for when they
tell me to take a hike.

I want it to
hurt real bad.

You want to go
with your sister
or your brother?

No. I love
a doctor's office.

The smell, the magazines,
the drama!

It makes me feel so alive.

Oh, isn't she adorable?

The kid is weird.

Ladies,

I'm Dr. Roberts.

Now, who's the patient?

Oh, I like him already.

How old do you
think I am?

-Uh...
-Uh, well,

I don't know. Well, 55?

[EXCLAIMING]

I'm 50.

That's because
I can't go to me.

Doctor, can you
make me look like this?

Linda Evangelista, ma?

He's not Dr. Bombay.

Ladies,
nothing is impossible.

You have insurance, right?

-Own your own home?
-Now, ma...

don't get carried away.

He's gonna try and talk you
into a bunch of stuff

you really don't need. Now,
you're a beautiful woman.

I hope when I'm you're age,
I look like you.

You will.

What do you mean?

Aging is determined
by your genes.

Look at the bone structure,
look at the jaw,

look at the eyes,
the lips.

Behold, the future.

Can't something be done?

Oh, calm down.

That's what I'm here for,
to prevent the inevitable.

Chocolate?

Enjoy it today.
We can suck it
out tomorrow.

Oh, Fran,
you've got to read this.

Do you know what happens
when you get as old as you?

You lose your tolerance
for little children?

No. Your feet get bigger.

Actually, everything
keeps growing,

your nose, your ears,
your feet.

Your tush.
It grows like a weed.

Yeah. But you can't
control that.

That's glandular.

There's nothing you can do
about glands.

You cannot help that.

Have another chocolate.

Thank you.

Oh, these are gorgeous.

Oh, I can't afford them.

Fran, you know,
we wear the same size.

I can put these
on dad's charge for me,

and you could...

borrow them.

Don't tell the others,
but you're my favorite.

Fran, my feet grew
a whole size!

Remember what
that doctor said?

I'm getting old.

I'm turning into your mother!

Sweetie, sweetie, relax.

Let's talk about it.
I'm here for you.

Get me these
in a seven.

Gracie, getting older
can be very exciting.

I mean, change and growth
could be something

to look forward to.

They're too small.
You need an eight.

I don't think so.

Miss...

They're fine, very comfy,
like slippers.

Oh, Niles,
you don't know
how lucky you are.

And, look,
you still got such
nice small feet.

Say, you know what
that means, don't you?

Never mind.

In England,
we go by the hands.

What you doing, honey?

Looking at pictures of myself
when I was young.

Look at how tight
my skin was.

Nothing sagged.

Oh, I don't know.
Those diapers look like
they're hanging pretty low.

Fran, I don't
want to get older.

Oh, what are you
complaining about?

I'm the one
with the size-eight
foot in the grave.

Fran, are you
a lot older than me?

Well, let's put it
this way.

When you're 20,
I'll be 40.

When you're 30,
I'll be 40.

And when you're 40,
you'll understand
why I'm still 40.

It's the new math.
Learn it.

Miss Fine,
did you get shorter?

Oh, no. I'm aging,
and now I'm shrinking?

You know,
it's genetic, too.

I had a great-aunt
that would come in
through the doggy door.

Oh, wait. Look,
I'm wearing my slippers.

My feet were killing me.

Some stupid salesman
sold me a pair of shoes

that must have been
mismarked.

Maybe your feet
have gotten bigger.

You know, when you
get older, they tend to...

I don't think so.

Fortunately,
the Babcock women
age gracefully.

Well, you've always
been a rebel.

Miss Fine,
everyone's looks
fade eventually.

It's-- it's what's
inside a person
that really matters.

What kind of a bizarre world
are you living in?

With age comes wisdom.

Yeah. And for a man,

wisdom
and a 20-year-old bimbo.

Well, he didn't say
life was fair.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I am serious.
My foot went up
a whole size.

And ma's doctor said
that as you get older,

your appendages
keep growing.

More good news for men.

Why are women so vain?

Oh, I guess you're right.

I mean, look,
you're not the least
bit concerned

about that little bald spot
right there on the back
of your head.

What?

Oh, you know,
it's nothing.
Nothing.

Just, well,
when you go
out in the sun,

you might want to smear
a little Coppertone on it.
That's all.

Stop! Get me a mirror.
Quick! Quick!

-Get a mirror.
-Oh, would you relax?

Wasn't it you that
just said it's what's
inside that counts?

I was talking about you.
Not me!

Do-- do you know
why I'm successful?

I mean, anyone can
throw on a revival,

drag out some old musical,

but people want to
do business with me

because I'm, well, cute.

Big bushy hair,
English accent.

I'm a one-man mop-top
British Invasion.

Down, Ringo.

Meanwhile,
I'm the one that's got to go
to the big modeling reunion

with these clodhoppers.

Oh, Miss Fine, come on,
you're a beautiful woman.

No one's gonna be
looking at your feet.

Oh, yeah?
I was a foot model.

I haven't seen
these girls in 10 years.

I don't want them to see
how time has ravaged me.

I mean, we are
talking about mean,

backstabbing,
vicious women.

Then why are you going?

'Cause they're my friends.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I am so thankful

that you insisted
on bringing me
to this reunion.

Anyway, that's the story
if anyone asks.

Oh, look, that's me.

Oh, my goodness!

Miss Fine, I had no idea
you were in that commercial

where the women
played basketball
in heels.

Oh, yeah.
Although, after eight
hours on that court,

they may have
looked like a pump,

but they stunk
like a sneaker.

-So, are you a little more
relaxed now?
-Mmm.

You know,
you are by far the most
beautiful woman in the room.

Oh, how sweet.

Good reading.
A little louder.
Nobody heard you.

Ladies, can we all get
together for a group shot?

Oh, hide me.
Hide me.

I don't want to
take any pictures.

Fran,
you look gorgeous.

You haven't
changed a bit.

Girls, girls,
pictures, pictures.
Come on.

Okay, ladies,
lift those dresses.

Let's see some feet.

[ALL GASPING]

What? What?

No!

No. No. No. No.

Miss Fine.
Miss Fine. Wake up.

Were you having that
Streisand's retiring
dream again?

No. No. I--
and don't even say that.

It puts it out there.

Miss Fine, you're shaking.
Calm down.

Oh, I dreamt
about the reunion.

I went, as planned.

I looked gorgeous,
as planned.

I was even five
pounds thinner,

just a little bonus
from my subconscious.

Then I looked
down at my feet
and they were huge.

Oh, Miss Fine,

your-- your feet
are beautiful.

You are beautiful.

Oh, Mr.
Sheffield--
huh?

Miss Fine,
the children all have
plans for this evening.

You're telling
me this because...

Which-- which leaves
you and me free.

To?

Fran. Oh, Fran, Fran...

Fran,

Fran,

Fran.

Oh, no. Ma!

Go away. I've got
to get back to sleep.

Fran, this is
very important.

Ma, believe me, this is
both our dreams coming true.

Go away.

Fran, wake up.
I have wonderful news.

I'm not having
my arms done.

I've decided
to grow old gracefully,
with dignity and honor.

The insurance
didn't cover it?

No.

Daddy's policy doesn't cover
elective surgery.

I have to be in our home

and run over
by farm equipment.

You know, ma,
I'd love to sit here
and talk to you all day,

but I've got something
very important

that I've got to finish.
Good night.

Niles, that bloody
drain in my bathroom's
all stopped up again.

Isn't it your job
to keep it clean?

Oh, sir,
I don't think
of it as just a job.

It's more like a calling.

Well, how about
calling a bloody plumber

to find out
what's clogging it?

What do you think
is clogging it, sir?

Just off the top
of your head?

-I am not
losing my hair!
-Oh, of course not, sir.

It's thick and luxurious
and does that great
flippy thing in the front.

Can it, Niles.
I'm not in the mood
for cheap flattery.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
I was just thinking

that it's looking
like Pierce Brosnan's.

Really?

You know,
a couple of people
have told me that.

Because, you know,
I think Miss Fine made it up
that your hair is thinning

because you weren't
sympathetic to her problem.

That's because
she doesn't have
a bloody problem!

Look, Niles,
she's a young,
beautiful woman.

What do I have to
do to convince her
she's desirable?

Oh, sir, I'm sure
you'll think of something.

I mean, after all,
you're a man, she's a woman.

Fill in the blanks.

The children
are at school.

She's lying
on the sofa.

And if all else fails,

what would
Pierce Brosnan do?

Miss Fine,
Miss Fine, wake up.

Oh, good.
It worked. I'm back.

Miss Fine,

did you pick up my blue suit
from the cleaners?

Mr. Sheffield, I'm sorry.

I-I-I don't usually
sleep during the day.

Well, yeah, I do,
but you don't
usually catch me.

Miss Fine,
I don't know

what you're so upset
about this reunion for.

You have absolutely
nothing to worry about.

Your feet are beautiful.

You are beautiful.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield--
huh?

You know,
the children all have
plans for this evening.

Oh, my God!

Wait a minute.

[EXCLAIMING]

Okay. Go ahead.

I just thought,
with the house empty,

that would leave
you and me free to...

To?

To go to the reunion
together.

The reunion?

That's not the way it went.

Go back! Go back!

Fran. Fran.

Not that far.
Not that far.

Oh, it's a beautiful night,
isn't it?

-Mmm-hmm.
-I'm so glad
we didn't go right in.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
thank you so much for
taking me to the reunion.

I had a fabulous time.

I did, too.

Did you know
all your girlfriends
are under the impression

that I was your husband?
[CHUCKLES]

Gee, I wonder
what kind of a nut

would spread
a rumor like that?

Isn't it amazing
how old everybody looked?

And yet I look
exactly the same.

I know what you mean.
You know,

every morning
when I look in the mirror,

I still see the face
of a man in his 20s.

That's funny.

Every morning
when I look in the mirror,

I hope to see
the face of a man in his 20s.

Oh, let's face it,
Miss Fine,
age is irrelevant.

It's just a state
of mind.

Absolutely.

It's how young
you feel that counts.

[BOTH GROANING]

[EXCLAIMING]

Maxwell!

C.C., what on earth...

C.C.: What?

I-- I wasn't, uh,
waiting up to see

what time you two got home.

I-- I just stopped by

after the...

Theater.

Yes.

Where I saw...

Victor/Victoria.

Right.

Well, I have to run.
I have a date.

I hope it's in the Village.

Oh, hello, sweetheart,
what are you doing
still up?

I can't sleep.
I'm obsessing about
getting old and dying.

Oh, sweetie,

that's not gonna happen
for a very long time.

Not me. You.

Me? Oh, honey.

I'm not going anywhere
until I've got a house
in Great Neck,

a couple of kids,
and a husband waiting outside
the Loehmann's dressing room.

See, sweetheart?
She'll be here forever.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]