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This programme contains
very strong language
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00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:09,520
ELECTRONIC SPEECH: Well... Well...
3
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,160
What the fuck?
4
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,640
Well...
5
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,720
If it isn't Tiny Tim!
6
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,320
Kiefer.
7
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,440
And when I say Tiny,
I mean your dick.
8
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My oldest enemy!
9
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,840
I'm saying your dick is small.
10
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,120
I haven't seen you since art
school.
11
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,440
They put you in the girls' dorm
12
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,920
because your dick is so small.
13
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,960
Yeah... No, wait.
14
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:45,240
We always have to wait for you,
Kiefer.
15
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,280
You never got any pussy
in art school either.
16
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:54,800
I remember.
17
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,400
I thought you'd be dead by now.
18
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,640
I thought we might both be.
19
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,240
I'm not dead.
20
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,920
I'm amazing.
21
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:06,920
My latest exhibition starts next
week in Shoreditch.
22
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,560
When's your exhibition, Tiny Tim?
23
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,400
When's your fucking exhibition,
Tiny Tim?
24
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:30,640
Tiny Tim, your dick is so small
the only exhibition you've made
25
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:35,120
is an exhibition of yourself...
with your small dick.
26
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,280
That wasn't worth coming back for.
27
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,200
BEEPING
28
00:01:58,520 --> 00:01:59,960
Hey, Mom.
29
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:01,760
Hey, Timmy.
30
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,160
Where are you?
31
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,320
Why is it so dull?
32
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,000
I have to be really, really quiet.
33
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,720
Mom, you've never been quiet
in your life.
34
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,320
Timmy, I really need you to do
something for me.
35
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:20,080
Mom, you're acting really strange.
36
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,320
Are you on the valium again?
37
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,320
No. I really need you to...
38
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:30,480
..give your Mama a
motherfucking kiss, you freak!
39
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,200
Hey, Mom! Hi, baby.
40
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,720
What the fuck are you doing here?
41
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,080
Can't wait to meet Tim's mum.
Do you think she'll like me?
42
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,000
No. Why?
43
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,360
No-one likes you, especially
on the first impression.
44
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:47,400
And then when they you get to know
you, they really don't like you.
45
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,040
She does like me. Hi, guys! Hi.
46
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,600
Mom, this is Ruth.
47
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,720
Oh, Ruth, I've been dying to
meet you.
48
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,960
And would you like coffee?
49
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,120
Sure. Sorry...
50
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,480
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
51
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,200
You must be Mrs Renkow.
Is it Miss? Ms?
52
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,080
I wouldn't want to presume
that you'd take the name of a man.
53
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,440
Could be maiden name.
54
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,040
Sorry, I'm mansplaining.
55
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,240
Do you have that term in America,
mansplaining?
56
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,840
It's when a man sort of explains
something to... Stop it.
57
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,920
I'm doing it again. I'm sorry.
58
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:25,480
Idris. Idris. I thought
you made him up.
59
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,320
I wish I had.
60
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,080
You've raised a wonderful son,
Mrs Mum.
61
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,840
Mrs Renkow.
62
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,320
OK...
63
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:37,160
So, I had an idea
to save Timmy's ass.
64
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,000
We get him hitched.
65
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,760
This way, they'll HAVE to let
him stay.
66
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,840
So you marry Ruth. What?!
67
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,240
No! Look, you already wipe his ass.
68
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,920
Why not put a ring on it?
69
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,360
The NHS asks a lot, but...
70
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,680
But you're allowed to marry
patients!
71
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,760
Yeah, I've considered it if
they've got their own flat
72
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,880
and they're, like, 97. OK.
73
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:02,880
Well, that definitely fucked
up my plan. Not necessarily.
74
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,960
I mean, Tim could find
another girl.
75
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,600
Well, I want him to get a nice
girl, not just get him laid.
76
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,320
I mean, if that was the issue,
77
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,680
I'd pay 500 bucks
and hire a streetwalker.
78
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,640
Mom, this is so demeaning.
79
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,240
No, Tim, we could hook you up
with a few dates.
80
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,920
And you might find love
and all that other bullshit.
81
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,360
Well, if you think so.
82
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,000
Yeah, we'll get you on the dating
sites. You'll get loads of hits.
83
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,640
Hey, you know you should keep
that camera covered up?
84
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,040
It can record you all the time.
Don't be silly.
85
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,960
Can it? What, all the time? Yes.
86
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:41,120
No. It doesn't really matter cos
I don't really watch a lot of...
87
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,680
I mean, the stuff I do watch,
it's all female friendly.
88
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,000
Clothes-on type of stuff, not the...
89
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,840
There's quite some rude stuff
out there.
90
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,560
Is it MILFs?
91
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,800
Not, Mrs Renkow, that older women
aren't attractive. Jesus...
92
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:59,040
I'm sure you yourself
have a very active sex life.
93
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,920
Okey-doke, Tim,
let's get you logged in.
94
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,000
Just a few details... Interests?
95
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,280
Eugenics.
96
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,640
Know thy enemy, Idris!
97
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:20,280
Mom, why do I have to do this?
98
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,960
Because you literally fucked up
every other avenue.
99
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,080
Hmm.
100
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,800
Look, don't be scared.
101
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,440
You know that beauty
is on the inside, right?
102
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,800
Yeah, but what about the outside?
103
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,960
You're an acquired taste, my love.
104
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,640
SHE LAUGHS
105
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:40,000
Look at my boy,
all dressed up,
106
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,920
going out to date!
Mom, I've been on dates before.
107
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,520
Yeah?
What kind of girls are you into?
108
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,480
Come on! I just want to know.
109
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,520
Are you an ass man?
110
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,160
Mom, I like to keep a little
mystique.
111
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,800
Yeah? You like a nice rack?
112
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,720
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
113
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,600
What DON'T you like?
114
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,320
I don't know, Mom.
I guess I'm open-minded.
115
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,280
I'm just looking for a girl
116
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,560
that doesn't have...
117
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,400
A gag reflex?
118
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,360
Come on, that was a good one!
119
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,520
Yeah, very good!
120
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,920
I'm a little pimp
with my hair gassed back
121
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,040
Pair of khaki pants
with my shoes shined black
122
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,440
Got a little lady walk that street
123
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,840
Telling all the boys
that she can't be beat.
124
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,520
Hey.
125
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,760
I'm Tim.
126
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,440
You seem different to your photo.
127
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,640
Yeah. Maybe I'm a bit shorter.
128
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,120
It's just...
129
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,080
You didn't tell me
you were disabled.
130
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,680
I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
131
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,920
Oh, nice.
132
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,200
How long do I have to sit here?
133
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,000
It's not speed-dating.
You can leave any time.
134
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,360
Yeah, but so as I'm not being rude.
135
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,400
Because to be fair, I wasn't
expecting a disabled.
136
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,920
No, I'm not shocked. I actually went
out with a disabled guy once,
137
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,080
so I know how much a fucking pain
in the arse it is.
138
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,080
No!
139
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,120
Not feeling it.
140
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,960
But you liked my photo.
141
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:53,080
Do I look like I am in control
over whether I swipe right or left?
142
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,760
INAUDIBLE
143
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,240
Don't worry. I've got a friend
who's in a wheelchair, so...
144
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,040
Yeah, but I'm not in a wheelchair.
145
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,600
Wheelchairs turn me on.
146
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,960
SLURRED: So, what's...
What's your name? Tom?
147
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,040
Tim. Tim.
148
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,200
Ah. And what...
What is it you've got?
149
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,120
Is it... Is it cancer?
150
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,440
Yes, sure.
151
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,960
Why not?
152
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,320
Can you still do stuff?
153
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,480
Do you want to come home with me?
154
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,080
Fuck it, yeah. Why not?
155
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,240
I think this must be her address.
156
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,880
It's where all her deliveries go.
157
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,920
A lot of self-help books.
158
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,680
I'll get her home.
159
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,880
It's not my place to say anything,
but I think you can do better, mate.
160
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,440
It's cold out tonight.
161
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,240
Are you drawing me? Yeah, I am.
162
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,040
I kind of look like...
163
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,840
A young Mr Herbert from Family Guy?
164
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,640
Uh, no!
165
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,080
That's not... The right grain of
charcoal for the beard.
166
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,760
You're right.
You really know your stuff.
167
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,080
The bus is late.
168
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,960
Yeah, there's not been one for,
like, 30 minutes. Jesus.
169
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,160
I'd better go.
170
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,800
Shit, that sucks,
171
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,160
cos I've really got
to get back to...
172
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,320
Well, nothing really.
173
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,000
SHE GIGGLES
174
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,920
Do you want me to walk with you?
175
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,800
You know, just to...
176
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,520
Three hours later
than I need to be?
177
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,080
Oh, why not?
178
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,440
I'm Clara.
179
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,120
I'm Tim. Hi, Tim.
180
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,720
You know, the last girl probably
just thought you were pissed
181
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,160
and trying to fit in.
182
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,640
I gave up trying to fit in
a long time ago.
183
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:48,160
Anyway, this is me.
Thanks for the walk, Tim.
184
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:49,480
So...
185
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,280
Yeah.
186
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,720
I would love to... Ask me out?
187
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,320
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was coming.
188
00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,800
Uh...
189
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:05,320
How... How do you feel
about art exhibitions?
190
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:06,680
I love art exhibitions.
191
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:09,880
What about fucking tailboards?
192
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,880
They're, like, the best.
193
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,160
Cool. What are you doing
tomorrow night?
194
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,160
Timmy, why can't Mommy meet
your new hottie,
195
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,640
your future wife, your baby mama?
196
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,840
Oh, pretty much because of
everything you just said.
197
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,960
But I'm so excited for you.
198
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,200
Do you think she'll put out?
199
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,600
Let's just take it slow, Mom.
200
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,200
Look, I'm just trying to help.
201
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,640
You're going to wear your shoes,
aren't you? Mom!
202
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,600
I know how to be around girls.
203
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:44,280
Tim, your mum's just clearly
looking out for you, aren't you?
204
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,000
Just making sure that
205
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,240
if you did want to share an
intimacy with a lady...
206
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,400
Who uses the phrases like
"intimacy with a lady"?
207
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,520
Have you ever had sex, Idris?
208
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,080
I beg your pardon? Yeah.
209
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,320
I've... I've done stuff. Yeah.
210
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,400
Don't you worry about that.
211
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,400
And both sorts of stuff.
212
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,080
Both sorts?
213
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,320
Well, I'll have to say, Tim, this
Clara does sound very nice.
214
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,200
She fucking is.
215
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:16,680
I don't want either of you
to fuck this up for me.
216
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:21,640
I'm going to woo Clara,
so keep this shit out.
217
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:26,600
Where is the exhibition, sweetie?
218
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,640
Oh, you just go down the street
219
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,200
and mind your own goddamn business.
220
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,400
Yo, yo, yo, what a night
221
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,800
New York City
Heard it going down
222
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,000
Friday night, midnight
223
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,600
Atlantic City, slot machines
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding
224
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,160
When they ring off, lock the doors
225
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:55,840
That's when Ghost just g'd off
226
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,000
Cigars, Paisley robes
227
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,560
Four bitches guarding me safely
as we walk to the window
228
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,080
The cashier was scared
She asked for my info
229
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,000
The manager arrived
with two guards...
230
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,280
ELECTRONIC SPEECH: Well...
231
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,680
HE SIGHS
232
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:10,160
Well... Kiefer,
I don't have time for this.
233
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,760
No-one has time for this.
234
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:17,240
Well, if it isn't the guy
with the biggest micro penis
235
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,920
I've never seen.
236
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,920
How many double negatives is that?
237
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,760
Couldn't stay away, could you?
238
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:28,600
My exhibition evokes the true
experience of suffering
239
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,520
with cerebral palsy.
240
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,600
It does in a way,
241
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,640
because it's fucking awful.
242
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:40,840
Oh, well, I wouldn't say it was
world class and groundbreaking,
243
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,880
but it's nice of you to say it.
Oh, my God, I didn't.
244
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:48,400
How much of this shit
is pre-programmed?
245
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,120
You know what?
246
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,040
It doesn't matter,
247
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,720
cos I'm here with my date Clara.
248
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,680
Clara?
249
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:03,160
She looks like she
loves a bit of Kiefer.
250
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,560
No, actually, this was on
her bucket list.
251
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:09,520
And by that I mean
that list of things
252
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,760
that make her want to be
sick in a bucket.
253
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,600
Hi, Tim. Hello.
254
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,360
These are quite good.
255
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,040
They're evocative.
256
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,280
I wouldn't put them on my fridge
257
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:30,000
and my fridge is fucking disgusting!
258
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,800
Oh, really? Yeah.
259
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,680
Do you not think there's, like,
a...perspicacity to them?
260
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,960
Yes.
261
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,280
If that word means shit.
262
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,560
You're... There he is! Oh, my God.
263
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,720
Fuck! I knew you made a mistake
and it was tonight in Shoreditch,
264
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,080
not next Tuesday in Brighton,
like you said.
265
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,000
How did you even know
where to find me?
266
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,040
When he said it was an exhibition by
an artist with cerebral palsy,
267
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,200
there's only one
causing a five-star buzz.
268
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,080
I mean, it's not like you've got
an exhibition, is it?
269
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,120
Hi. You must be hot Clara?
270
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,880
Oh...
271
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,000
I think the "hot" is silent.
272
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,520
Sorry, I didn't mean to objectify
you sexually.
273
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,080
It's my third least favourite way
of being objectified.
274
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,360
Oh, God. Just so don't make another
mistake, what are first two?
275
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,400
I'm joking! Oh, God.
276
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,640
I told him to practise
talking to women.
277
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,280
She didn't.
278
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,560
Hi. Idris.
279
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,440
Please tell me my mom isn't here.
280
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,160
No.
281
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,840
She's... She's just paying
for the cab.
282
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,520
I've got to go and hide.
283
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,640
Nice ass.
284
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,440
So, where's your little lady friend?
285
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,600
Oh, she's in the toilet.
286
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,840
That's exactly where I'm headed.
287
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,800
That little shit Idris introduced
me to the British shepherd's pie.
288
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,000
The shit's going right through me.
289
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,320
Oh, lovely.
290
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,240
Well, I'll stand guard.
291
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,960
MUSIC PLAYS
292
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,840
So...
293
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,320
We could get out of here.
Ten more minutes.
294
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,120
I just bought something.
295
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:25,400
You know, there is a really
impressive brain at work here.
296
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,400
Really? Mm-hm.
297
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,560
Actually, do you want to meet him?
298
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,240
Wow. That'd be great.
Do you know him?
299
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:36,960
Oh, yeah.
300
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,360
All cerebral palsies
know each other!
301
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,960
I cannot wait for you to meet him.
302
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,440
Hi. Sorry. Excuse me.
303
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,040
I've just been saying how much
I'm enjoying your exhibition.
304
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,880
I paint myself, but I'm just
an amateur, really, though, so...
305
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,440
Every trained artist
was once an amateur.
306
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,680
That's really kind of you.
307
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,640
Every child is an artist.
308
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:07,560
The problem is how to remain
an artist when we grow up.
309
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,160
Jesus. Yeah.
310
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,160
The principles of true art
is not to portray
311
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,240
but to evoke.
312
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:19,160
Art enables us to find ourselves
and lose ourselves.
313
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,360
So fucking lose yourself.
314
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:22,880
Tim, that's rude.
315
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:24,920
This is so fucking bullshit.
316
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,640
He just downloaded the quotes from
the internet.
317
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:32,280
Cerebral palsy represents
as both light and shade.
318
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,560
To truly see its limitation
and possibilities
319
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:41,200
is to present it as both
two- and three-dimensional space.
320
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,720
No, it doesn't!
321
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,080
Tim, I think Kiefer knows what he's
talking about.
322
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,600
No, he doesn't. Yes, he does.
Please. Sorry.
323
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,000
Safari cannot connect
to the internet.
324
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,920
I went behind the bar and turned
the Wi-Fi off.
325
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,640
Safari cannot... Safari cannot
connect to the internet.
326
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,760
See the true Kiefer now?
327
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,480
If they made a film about Tim,
328
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,960
it would not be My Left Foot.
329
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,360
It would be
Tim's Right Hand Wanking.
330
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:10,560
I'll use my left foot to
kick your ass!
331
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:14,640
Oh, yeah? Yeah, you piece of shit.
332
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:19,160
I'll fucking beat your legs
into scrambled eggs!
333
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,280
I'll beat you till your voice works!
334
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,040
I'll kick your ass so hard your mom
will end up in the hospital!
335
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,520
Everyone, this is want just
performance art,
336
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,160
so enjoy it!
337
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,200
Right, stop! Please stop.
338
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,520
Sorry, Clara.
339
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,280
Oh, you're Clara?
340
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,880
Why you little minx, you!
Welcome to the fam...
341
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,000
I don't ever want
to see you again, Tim.
342
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,360
Well, that's what I said
when I first saw him,
343
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,320
but then you grow to just adore him.
344
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,360
Hey, Cuntarella,
would you take 500 bucks
345
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,120
to bang him?
346
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:02,000
And performance art...scene!
347
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,760
Hold tight, count to three
Gotta stay close by me
348
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,120
And hold tight, sing and shout
349
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,120
Just ride my roundabout
350
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,720
And hold tight, shut your eyes
351
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:19,200
Girl, you suit me for size
352
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,880
Forget these other guys
353
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,400
You'll never fall
354
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,480
Each time you call
355
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,280
Hold tight, hold tight
Hold tight...
356
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:35,880
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