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[heavy rain and thunder]
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[tense music]
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Sit!
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So, what now?
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As they used to say, the war for you, my friend, is over.
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Cigarette?
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No.
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[gunshot]
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[JOHNNIE NARRATES]: There was Sander Lars Hansen,and there was me. I'm Johnnie Allen.
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More about Sander later. I'm an American, born in Tacoma, Washington, who just
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got a job with, get this, the C.I.A. Yeah, that C.I.A.
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I've been posted to the tiny little kingdom of Denmark and it's my first day here.
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I'm no stranger to small countries, by the way.
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My idiot parents raised me from the time I was a baby in a religious cult
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in a failed South American stronghold.
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I never saw the good ol' U-S-of-A until I was 14. Talk about culture shock!
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Add to that my funny accent from Curaçao, and you can imagine
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my high school social standing. Not fun!
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Not only do I work for the C.I.A., but I'm gay. And they don't like it when you're gay and work there.
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Which I never understood! Because if you ever want to know
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everything about anything, just ask your local gay guy.
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And if my bible-thumping mother ever found out, she'd hate me and just tell me to burn in hell.
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So, we'll keep that on the down-low.
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[radio plays]
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Sorry?
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Oh, you're closed?
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-Yeah, we're closed. -Oh, sorry.
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I'm sorry, I don't speak Danish.
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English, of course. Welcome to The Grand. How can I help you?
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I just need a room for one night.
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Just one single room for only you?
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That's right. Just me.
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Reservation?
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No...
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And your name, please?
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Johnnie Allen.
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Would you please spell it for me?
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Yeah. It's J-o-h-n-n-i-e. A-l-l-e-n.
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[phone alarm]
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Looks like I made it. I'm in Denmark.
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[Johnnie narrates]: Walking the cobblestone streets of this beautiful Danish town
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led me through places that looked like they were taken from Disney World.
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It's weird to see a building that was erected about the same time
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that the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth rock.
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It's even stranger to see a McDonald's in a building that's older than that!
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The world turned out to be a little bigger than I expected. And I felt lost.
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I've never been as lonely, either.
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I can count on one finger the times I've had a one-night stand.
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But I guess some things cross all language barriers. And "gay need" spoke the loudest.
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Not my best moment. Especially the morning after.
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Sorry, I don't actually speak any Danish yet.
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Oh, that's not a problem. Then we'll do some English.
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Please have a seat. So. You need a flat, yes?
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Yeah! Someone at the hotel told me about you.
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Oh! It's my daughter's friend. I knew you were coming!
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So, I handle a very nice place, not far from here.
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And the woman who runs the place takes great care of everyone.
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[phone rings] One moment, please.
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When you get to the place, just ask for Emma.
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Emma?
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Yeah?
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Sorry, do you speak English?
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Uh... Emma said she knows who you are because Maria's mom already called her.
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She wanna know when you wants to move in. Are you moving in?
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Oh, yeah. I'm from America and I'm going to school here--
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--Don't they have schools in America?
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Anyway. Would you let her know that I would like to move in,
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and I would like to take the place as soon as I can.
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Yeah.
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Yes! Today!
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[Hungover Emil throws up]
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[Johnnie narrates]: My new flat was not only furnished, courtesy of Emma's basement,
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but it came complete with friends my age who didn't mind helping me move in.
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Even Emil, who was still nursing a hangover, supervised from my couch.
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And then there was Emma, who was more grandmother than landlord.
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I never imagined that my first place on my own would be on the other side of the world.
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Or that where I would wind up would change my life forever. The fact is, I was home.
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[knock on the door]
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Just a minute!
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[music plays from Emma's apartment]
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[Johnnie narrates]: So, my new friends are inviting me to a welcoming party: for me!
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Dang! I was totally floored! Since Saturday was less than a week away,
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and I didn't want to come to the party empty-handed, it was time for a beer and soda run.
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And my first experience with my new neighbor, Bent Gundersen, manager
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of Boop's Boutique Supermarket. I say "manager" but that's up for debate!
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Hey! Whoa! Johnnie Allen! You must like beer!
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We have the A.A. over here too. Just like in your States!
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Screw you, Bent!
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Is all for the party on Saturday?
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Yeah. Thought I'd help. At least with some of it.
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Oh!
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Never had a party thrown for me before, you know?
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No, no, no, no!
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We pay it, for your party!
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Uhm, what if I pay for it and you just bring it? How about that?
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Hmmm... yeah! Yo! It's good. But... shhh... alright?
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Of course. So, uhm, how much?
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Hmmm... Two-thousand kroner, please. It's a Bent Gundersen discount.
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Okay.
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[gentle travelling music]
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[phone chirps]
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John. Right?
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It's Johnnie, actually, Ms. Stupelmann.
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Johnnie. You can call me Marge. We'll get along just famously, I'm sure.
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Sounds good.
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We have lots for you to do. But first, I wanna know you a little bit better.
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Yeah. Sure.
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You're queer.
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I've never run a queer before. Would that be a problem?
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What?
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Now you're deaf? Relax, already. Why do you think we picked you?
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We picked you because you're queer.
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Can you stop that, please?!
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What?
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I hate that word!
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What? Deaf?
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No! Queer! I hate it!
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Should I be all antiseptic? And call you a "practicing homosexual?"
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So, what, I'm fired now, right?! I'm 21. I can be a queer if I want to be!
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So, kill me! I'm just here to do the job!
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That's the problem with our kind! We're always so damned dramatic!
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What? Wait--
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--You don't think I'd waste all this classic charm and beauty
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on some guy who grunts and ickkk!
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Wow! You're a trip, lady!
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's "official."
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And then there's official, if you know what I mean.
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[Johnnie narrates]: I knew exactly what she meant!
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There's nothing more undercover than a closeted gay guy. But I guess I'd passed the test.
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Because Marge called Langley and put me on the duty roster.
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Now all I had to do was go home and wait for my first assignment.
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[loud knock on the door]
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[Emil]: This is the police! Come out, American! You're surrounded!
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Shut up! Come in, asshole.
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So... What are we having?
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Eggs and bacon. And toast and jelly.
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I bet it's gooood!
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It's so good! You won't believe how good it is!
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Yeah? It looks like it.
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So. How do you like your eggs?
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I don't know. Cook them. Maybe like yours.
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Alright! One Emil Special coming right up!
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You know, this is really good food you make.
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Thanks!
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Anyone ever say that to you?
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I cook all the time for my little brother and sister. They love it when I do.
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I see why. You miss your family?
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I do.
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Well. We'll be your family. You'll even be sick of us. Just like the real ones.
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And you're already big news around here. My brother told his mates
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about the party, and all is good people here. You'll like us.
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Yeah. I've never felt so welcome before.
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And listen to this! Bent bought six cases of beer for your party!
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Six cases! We couldn't believe him when he told us.
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Because he's so cheap. We call him Uncle Joakim.
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Who's Uncle Joakim?
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Oh, yeah. You guys call him Scrooge McDuck. You know, Donald Duck's uncle?
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What's tight with the money?
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Me and Elizabeth will go to the party when she get back from her job.
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Who's Elizabeth?
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That's my girl!
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Elizabeth, he says! Of course, he's not gay. I always zero in on the
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straight cases that I can never have. Story of my gay-ass life!
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[heated argument]: Okay, you are crazy!
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This is-this is not me! This is your brother, who comes here in his Mercedes,
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two, three times a day! And he takes your money! Not me!
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This is the last time! Next time you are on my list of shit!
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Accuse me one more time, and you will be on my bigger list of shit!
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Aaaggghhh! I'm watching you!
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You see?! That's the problem you make me! This will be paid on money I paid you!
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Oh, yeah, because that is my fault too!
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Ass!
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[tire screeches]
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[party music in background]
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Hey! Johnnie! Johnnie!
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Johnnie Americani! Take a beer man! It's on me!
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Hey, hey! Everybody! Everybody! Johnnie speaked Danish!
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[friends laugh]
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Not really.
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[party music dissolves to a sweet piano theme]
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[party music resumes]
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[partygoers laugh at Sander]
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Hi. You're a little wet. Is it raining orange soda pop outside?
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I think Bent's right. You're nuts. Emil! Bring me a Sprite or a 7-up!
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Fuck you!
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You ever want breakfast again?
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We gotta get that orange stuff out of your shirt or it will never go away.
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No hot dogs tonight?
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What?
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The grill kiosk. No hot dogs. I saw you there before.
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Well, I quit them. So that means no more hot dogs ever again.
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That's why I said, "No more of this anymore!" And I disappeared. Into the air!
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You speak English.
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I do a bit, yeah.
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Cool.
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What's your name?
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Fuck you still, Johnnie.
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Do you mind?
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No! Yeah! Do that man, thank you.
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Guess you'll take it from here.
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Okay. We don't want people to talk shit about us, right?
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Yeah. Don't take no shit, Sander.
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Thanks for the help, Johnnie Allen.
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You know my name.
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Yeah. Everybody here does.
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You know, I wasn't planning to come here tonight. But there was going
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to be an American guy here.
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That's you!
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Anyway, I'm car-ous about this American.
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I think you mean curious. And I am a curiosity.
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I'm glad to meet you.
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Me too.
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[party music fades out]
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[song on stereo]
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♪ Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you.
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♪ 'Cuz falling in love just makes me blue.
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♪ Well I turn around and look at you,
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♪ and you look back at me
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♪ I search the place for your lost face...
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♪ Guess I'll have another round.
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♪ And I think that I just fell in love with you. ♪
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I met a guy last night at the party.
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I'm such a big fat fag. And clearly, he's not.
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I mean he's cute. But, that doesn't even matter.
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His spirit. Man, his spirit is just so--
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[knock on the door]
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Hey!
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Oh! There it is! Now my mom won't kill me.
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Oh, sorry! Come on in, Sander.
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Thank you, Johnnie Allen. Oh, it's a nice place you have here.
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Emma called her.
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I know. So, my mom said I should come here and, uh,
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get this sexy scarf so I wouldn't be too cold.
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Well, here it is.
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Thank you.
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So, do you want a Coke?
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No, that's-that's okay. I mean, you must have a lot of things to do, right?
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No. Not really. I'm just waiting to start work.
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What is your job?
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I drive people places.
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Like a taxi?
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Yeah.
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You liking Denmark, then?
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Yeah. Very much, actually.
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I could see myself staying here for a long time, maybe.
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We do got some nice people here.
247
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,800
And we do also got some pretty sexy ladies who would love to be with an American guy.
248
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,800
Especially with yellow hair.
249
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:56,120
I'm not really looking for a girl. I have too much to do. So--
250
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:59,960
--Of course. I mean, I said you were a busy guy.
251
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,000
I bet you have a dozen girlfriends.
252
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:06,880
I-I'm sorry. A doz?
253
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,480
Oh, sorry, it means 12. The number 12.
254
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:14,240
Ah, 12, yeah! Uh, no way, man, I'm uhm, I'm not having one of those.
255
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,360
You know, I have a sister so that's bad enough.
256
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,880
Okay.
257
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:25,600
Oh, I'm sorry! You want a Coke?
258
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,640
Not with your spit on it!
259
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,840
[gentle guitar music]
260
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,240
Johnnie: So, you wanna go do something?
261
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,720
Sander: Like what?
262
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:41,000
Johnnie: I don't know. Show me something.
263
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:48,360
Sander: Okay. I know something to see. It's the best ever.
264
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,480
And I think maybe you will like it very much.
265
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,480
Johnnie: So, show me!
266
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,120
[song]
267
00:25:57,120 --> 00:26:02,920
♪ Let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together.
268
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:10,000
♪ I've got some real estate here in my bag!
269
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,440
♪ It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw,
270
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:22,040
♪ I've gone to look for America.
271
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,240
♪ Laughing on the bus
272
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,120
♪ Playing games with the faces.
273
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:36,240
♪ She said the man in the gaberdine suit was a spy.
274
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:45,320
♪ I said be careful, his bowtie is really a camera. ♪
275
00:26:59,140 --> 00:27:00,980
Skoal!
276
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,640
He got you pretty good, man!
277
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,440
Yeah!
278
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:09,840
So, yeah, now you, now you met my little brother.
279
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,920
Yeah. You wait, kid. I'll return the favor!
280
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,050
This, we'll see.
281
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,240
He kicked your ass!
282
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,640
Yeah!
283
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,280
Anyway, it was fun. We need more days like these!
284
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,800
Yeah! You were right, Sander. It was awesome.
285
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,120
Yeah, I know.
286
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,040
Jannik is a pretty good shot for an opera singer, by the way.
287
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,480
An opera singer? Wow!
288
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,360
You are staying in Denmark.
289
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,520
I think I might.
290
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,320
No, I'm saying it. I'm not asking it.
291
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,600
Oh, really? You some kind of psychic?
292
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,400
I'm very smart, you see... And I know things. And this I know.
293
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:46,160
[Bent, drunken]: This is no! Yes?! Very good!
294
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:50,240
Yeah... don't... don't listen to him. He's a Hansen.
295
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,640
He's not quite right up here yet.
296
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:57,440
Don't listen to him, Johnnie. It's what he says when he knows he's wrong.
297
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,600
But you're a pretty good shot yourself, you know.
298
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,840
Thanks. I've tried a couple times before.
299
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:03,840
It shows.
300
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,880
You sucked.
301
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:06,800
What?
302
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,440
-Yeah, you did. And it... -I didn't suck!
303
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:13,360
Yeah, you did. And you know it's kind of embarrassing that your little brother is better than you.
304
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:14,840
Yeah!
305
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,960
He shot you, too!
306
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,080
Yeah, well, he shot me... I shot you...
307
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,640
That makes him better than you.
308
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,920
No, it doesn't. That's...that's some bullshit logic!
309
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,640
It's perfect logic, you know?
310
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,640
Do all you guys think? ...
311
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,160
I think everybody agrees on that.
312
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,800
Well, okay. Screw you guys!
313
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:37,550
You've got some other talents... You know how to walk.
314
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,580
Alright! See you guys! Have fun.
315
00:28:43,580 --> 00:28:44,820
Yeah!
316
00:28:44,820 --> 00:28:46,100
Okay, I'll get you next time.
317
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:47,840
-See you, Johnnie Allen. -Bye!
318
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,400
[sound from television]: Ever since Yuri Gagarin made his flight, every boy
319
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,520
in Soviet Union want to go where he had gone. And we were no different.
320
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,000
Well, that was a good show, I think.
321
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,520
Yeah. Awesome.
322
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:25,800
I think I will go home now. But, uh... What are you doing this weekend?
323
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,680
You know my job?
324
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:28,960
Yeah.
325
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,240
I got my first assignment, so tomorrow I'll leave for Copenhagen
326
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,840
and stay the night until I start working.
327
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,480
When are you getting home?
328
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,360
Monday. Tuesday at the latest.
329
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:40,800
See you then.
330
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:41,960
Okay.
331
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,640
[gentle piano music]
332
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:57,440
[Johnnie narrates]: I can imagine his lips on mine and the feeling of his breath against my neck.
333
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:01,960
I can admire his body and dream of holding him and caressing him.
334
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,360
But I can keep myself in check. I've been building trust.
335
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,800
And damned if I'm gonna ruin it because of my infatuation.
336
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,560
Okay. It's more than infatuation.
337
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,560
I'm so fucked.
338
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,920
[Johnnie narrates]: Travel days are always exciting for me.
339
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,440
Plus, it's the official start of my C.I.A. job.
340
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:43,440
"Johnnie Allen! Gay Spy for the C.I.A.! Boo yah!"
341
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,240
And when I got to the station, guess who was waiting for me?
342
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:51,040
None other than Sander Lars Hansen! Who had the bright idea to go to
343
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,800
Copenhagen with me and hang out until my job started.
344
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,680
Who am I to argue with a bright idea?
345
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,200
What if I said that you couldn't go with me?
346
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,720
I would probably push you in front of the train when it came.
347
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,720
Ohhh... you gangsta!
348
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,240
[traveling music]
349
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:14,160
I know that we truly are friends... That I can trust him.
350
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:22,520
And that's the pickle. I know I can trust this beautiful man, but can he trust me?
351
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:30,400
I know he has no fucking idea of how I feel for him.
352
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:34,320
With Sander, I'm not gonna make that mistake. He means too much to me.
353
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:42,400
Okay, I got an idea. But you maybe think it's crazy, I think.
354
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,540
No.
355
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,640
Okay, then.
356
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,120
What?
357
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,080
You said no. Who were you talking to?
358
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:55,560
What I meant was... No, I don't think it'll be crazy. Tell me!
359
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,300
And, uhm, I was just on the phone.
360
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:04,280
Yeah, I know you were on the phone. I was asking you who you were talking to.
361
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,920
Oh! Uhm... It was just some...
362
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:11,080
Dude! I'm fucking with you. Come! I show you my idea!
363
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:16,480
[song] ["Motherland"] ♪ Where in hell do you go?
364
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,520
♪ Far from the things that you know.
365
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:26,920
♪ Faceless, nameless, innocent, blameless and free. What's that like to be? ♪
366
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,760
So, will you tell me where we're going?
367
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,240
We're going to see the queen.
368
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,440
What?
369
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:39,720
I'm not joking. We're going to her house now. And maybe she invites us for coffee and cakes.
370
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,760
Idiot.
371
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:46,160
Yeah, you will see, Johnnie Allen. You will see.
372
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,960
I don't think he's going to be invited to the queen's palace anytime soon.
373
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,640
Nah. He's too drunk.
374
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,120
Maybe he can drink with Margrethe.
375
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,000
You're such a sweetheart.
376
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,720
Come, Johnnie, Margrethe awaits!
377
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,880
[palace clock strikes two]
378
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,600
Oh, there they are. You see them?
379
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,880
No. Where.
380
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,840
Can you hear them? Listen.
381
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,520
Yeah, I hear them.
382
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,280
Okay can you see them now?
383
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:28,760
No.
384
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,560
Dude, you have to look there.
385
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,600
Fucking hell! That scared me, man! They look mean!
386
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,200
So, what now? What are they gonna do, anyway?
387
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,760
Just see what happens when, uh... When I make the noise.
388
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,920
And what the guard mans will do. It's very militair...
389
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,280
Dude, they have guns... Big guns.
390
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,560
They won't shoot.
391
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,440
And now we run!
392
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:07,950
[song "Motherland" continues]: ♪ Oh, motherland! Cradle me. Keep me safe, lie with me...
393
00:35:07,950 --> 00:35:15,320
♪ Stay beside me. Don't go. Don't you go... ♪
394
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,320
Fun, right?! We are now royals!
395
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,400
You're crazy! You're a frickin' loon!
396
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:27,320
And you're Johnnie, King of Denmark! And I am Crown Prince Sander of Odense!
397
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,120
Frickin' loon!
398
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:33,480
The guard men just prove it when they're saluting us!
399
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:37,360
You should be king, since you're Danish.
400
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,720
But you're so much smarter. And you look better.
401
00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:44,080
Say that again. I missed that part.
402
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:45,520
You are smarter.
403
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,480
No, the other part.
404
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:52,640
And you look better. You do! Big strong American dude!
405
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:56,560
Are you kidding me? You're the best-looking person I've ever met!
406
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:00,520
You are such a fag. You know that, right?
407
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,640
Shut up!
408
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:22,360
Whoa! It's a nice place, man.
409
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:27,400
Oh, there's just one bed. I was supposed to be here by myself, uhm...
410
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,000
It's plenty big.
411
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,920
I can sleep on the couch, dude, I don't mind.
412
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:36,360
No, man, you can sleep on the bed. It's fine with me if it's fine with you.
413
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:40,440
[Johnnie narrates]: What? Sleep in the same bed with Sander Lars Hansen?
414
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,400
It's a dream come true!
415
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,960
But then he asked me something that took me totally by surprise...
416
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,920
And all I wanted was to say yes!
417
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:52,480
I want to go with you on your job trip. I know it's not possible, but...
418
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:56,320
You asked me what I wanted, and then I told you.
419
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,400
I really wish you could go.
420
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:32,000
Me too. Are you angry with me now?
421
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,040
Hell no! Absolutely not!
422
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:41,000
Good. I was worried you would think I was too pushy to even joke about it.
423
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,160
It's all good, Sander.
424
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:53,760
Sov godt! That means don't snore or wet the bed.
425
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,600
I'll do my best.
426
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:56,640
Thank you!
427
00:37:57,820 --> 00:38:04,520
[Royal Life Guards Band] Queen Margrethe II March ♪ ♪ ♪
428
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,080
[phone pings]
429
00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:16,960
Well, this is it. Time to find out what my first job is.
430
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,060
[Johnnie narrates]: There's a moment that you recognize
431
00:38:21,060 --> 00:38:23,540
when you know you're about to jump without a bungee cord.
432
00:38:24,340 --> 00:38:27,000
Yes, I trusted him. And yes, I knew what I was about
433
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:33,340
to do was a crime far worse than losing an exciting career. But there it is.
434
00:38:33,340 --> 00:38:34,900
Is it good? Johnnie!
435
00:38:34,900 --> 00:38:37,500
Are you happy for the job? What does it say?
436
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,720
Look, I do get a car so, I won't have to walk.
437
00:38:44,140 --> 00:38:45,640
Okay, okay!
438
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:53,040
[Johnnie narrates]: I made my decision. Wrong or right. And the time had come to lay it all out.
439
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:57,280
Alright, Sander, I know this is stupid. But I'm gonna do it anyway.
440
00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:03,320
You are a real spy? Like in James Bond?
441
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,760
No. It's nothing like that.
442
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,800
You got a big enemy like in James Bond?
443
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:11,960
Dude! It's nothing like that! Cool it!
444
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,760
I'm not James friggin' Bond.
445
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,840
No, you're Johnnie Bond.
446
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,680
I don't know if I understand everything about this...
447
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,600
But I'm pretty sure your job is different than making hot dogs for Pavel the Czech.
448
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,720
Yeah. It is different than that.
449
00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:30,040
I like that I'm going with you on this job.
450
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,360
But I really hope there's no trouble...
451
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,040
Johnnie Bond!
452
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:40,360
Stop! Besides, we're just two guys going on a road trip.
453
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:41,920
What could go wrong?
454
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,040
Is that it?
455
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,400
Yep. I think that's the one.
456
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,540
[Sander laughs]
457
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,440
Whoa! Dude! Fuck me, man!
458
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,520
Okay, I never thought I would fell in love with a German before. But...
459
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,080
Dude! I love this German!
460
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:06,040
It ain't a Skoda, that's for sure. I'm afraid to touch it!
461
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:11,180
Not me! Open it! Daddy needs a new set of wheels!
462
00:40:19,740 --> 00:40:21,800
Ahhh!
463
00:40:25,860 --> 00:40:29,920
Do you know how much time in Danish prison for grand theft auto these days?
464
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:34,340
I don't know, but whatever it is, it will be worth it.
465
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,960
Do you think they will miss it if we don't bring it back?
466
00:40:42,100 --> 00:40:43,290
Test drive?
467
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,400
Gentlemen! Start up your motors!
468
00:40:50,550 --> 00:40:52,750
That's the stuff!
469
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:58,000
[pleasant driving music]
470
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:06,400
If this is what your job is like I wanna be a spy, too.
471
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:11,720
I'm not a spy, you knucklehead. How many times I gotta say it?
472
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:16,920
Whatever. I would clean a pub toilet with my dick to have a car like this one.
473
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,360
Ewww!
474
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,000
Oh, like you wouldn't.
475
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,400
Ah, well.
476
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,080
Exactly! You're just as disgusting as I am.
477
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,960
I'm hungry!
478
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,690
Look what I got for you.
479
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,500
A tacky tree, just like home.
480
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,960
Shuddup.
481
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,080
Oh, you like it. You like it.
482
00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:19,780
[phone conversation--Johnnie's grandfather answers] Grampy: Hello.
483
00:42:19,780 --> 00:42:23,960
Johnnie: Hi, Grampy! It's me! Everything's good!
484
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,420
Grampy: [chuckles] You think I don't know when things ain't good, Stomper?
485
00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:30,500
I known you longer than that. Spill it, kid.
486
00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:32,660
Johnnie: Ah, Grampy... I don't know.
487
00:42:32,660 --> 00:42:35,550
Grampy: The beans. Now. Spill'em.
488
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:40,400
Johnnie: I met a guy and I like him a lot. In fact, I love him, Grampy.
489
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,320
Grampy: Did you tell him that?
490
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:46,920
Johnnie: No. Because I don't think he's... I mean, I know he's not gay.
491
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:52,280
His name is Sander. And I fell for him like a rock the second I laid eyes on him.
492
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,960
It's so dang easy for straight people because...
493
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,000
Grampy, I'm afraid I might lose him as a friend if he doesn't like gay people.
494
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:02,560
Grampy: You ain't defined by who you sleep with, Stomper. He'll like ya.
495
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:07,000
And if'n he don't? Well, he ain't nobody you wanna be around anyways.
496
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,600
Johnnie: I love you, Grampy.
497
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,000
Grampy: I love ya, kid. And don't you ever forget it.
498
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,550
Johnnie: Bye!
499
00:43:12,550 --> 00:43:14,550
Grampy: Adios.
500
00:43:36,540 --> 00:43:39,000
[Johnnie narrates]: I'm boarding an ocean liner in a hundred-thousand-dollar car,
501
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,480
sitting next to the most awesome human being that I know.
502
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,720
So that I can do a job that way overpays me.
503
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:53,080
We'll soon meet with the contact, and then it's bon voyage for Johnnie and Sander.
504
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,800
Damn, I'm a lucky bastard!
505
00:44:02,950 --> 00:44:04,360
Where do we go?
506
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,800
South Jylland. To pick up the guy we're driving to Belgium.
507
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,480
He should just take the bus.
508
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,520
Then you and me can drive real fast and have a good time.
509
00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:17,620
My boss might have something to say about that.
510
00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:20,280
She will have to catch us first!
511
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:34,000
[muffled disco music from ship's bar] [people laughing in bar]
512
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,040
Alright, let's hit the sack.
513
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,280
Yep!
514
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,150
I think it's ABBA.
515
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,860
What makes you think that? I think it's a bad cover band.
516
00:44:48,860 --> 00:44:55,480
Ah yeah. But the beat... It goes with the Mamma Mia song. Listen.
517
00:44:58,220 --> 00:45:01,260
You're right. You some kind of disco queen or something?
518
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:07,640
Nah. You can fit any dance song to those beats. It's just like with hip-hop.
519
00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:24,320
Dude! You're doing it perfect to the music!
520
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:29,300
I know! I'm a slave to the rhythm.
521
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:38,800
Good night.
522
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:40,600
Good night.
523
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,640
[Sander sings]
524
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:58,880
[Johnnie]: For fuck's sake!
525
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:33,200
[C.I.A. call center]: Echo-Sierra-Whisky, duty officer. How may I assist you?
526
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,880
Mango Transport Primary, report:
527
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:42,360
Code Five Five Kilo Oscar. Follow-Kilo Hotel India; end report.
528
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:46,760
[C.I.A. call center]: Mango Transport Primary, copy that. Thank you. Good day, sir.
529
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:52,160
You're just this big spymaster, who wants his martini shaken, not stirred.
530
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:57,640
That's why I say, you, man... You're Johnnie Bond!
531
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,340
Bonehead!
532
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,920
So, are we doing more spy stuff?
533
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:11,640
Spy stuff?
534
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:15,880
Yeah, you know... Secret agent things.
535
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:20,200
You were looking at your Marge pack. What does it say?
536
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,080
Oh, let's see!
537
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:28,520
It says for Sander Lars Hansen to mind his own business!
538
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,080
I could tell you what it says, but then I'd have to use my ninja skills
539
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:32,750
and beat you into next week.
540
00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:36,000
Oh, yeah. You Americans are so violent.
541
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,480
-What can I say? It's the video games. -Ah!
542
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:45,660
Can you at least say why we're standing here like coat racks?
543
00:47:45,660 --> 00:47:47,980
We're making an exchange.
544
00:47:47,980 --> 00:47:49,100
What?
545
00:47:51,500 --> 00:47:54,800
No! Not my lovely German? Why?
546
00:47:56,500 --> 00:47:59,300
Speaking of the devil. There he comes.
547
00:48:01,140 --> 00:48:03,050
Okay, is that our new car?
548
00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:07,800
I think I have to cheat on my first German and go with this one.
549
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:13,500
It's a BMW. Guess my American bosses don't buy American.
550
00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:15,360
Can you blame them?
551
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,200
It's a BMW!
552
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,150
Wait here a minute.
553
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,860
Here's the key. It's the blue Mercedes just up the road.
554
00:48:38,550 --> 00:48:39,460
Okay!
555
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,160
Where do we get the man we're supposed to find?
556
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,150
[Johnnie laughs]
557
00:48:58,150 --> 00:48:59,700
Why are you laughing?
558
00:48:59,700 --> 00:49:04,960
We're picking him up at a church. And that's not the funniest part.
559
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,420
What is the funniest part?
560
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,000
Are you fucking kidding me?
561
00:49:37,700 --> 00:49:39,400
Johnnie: Behave yourself.
562
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,960
[church organ music plays]
563
00:49:57,750 --> 00:50:01,140
Excuse me. Do you happen to know if there are any good shows in the town?
564
00:50:02,330 --> 00:50:05,440
I am not from around here. I wouldn't know.
565
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,180
We're not in Warsaw anymore?
566
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:11,120
Schackenborg, I believe they call it.
567
00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:13,200
Let's go.
568
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:35,360
We'll be stopping at a safe house in a couple hours to get a shower and some sleep.
569
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,760
We're also picking up an assistant there who'll ride the rest of the way with us.
570
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:46,320
I'm Petrenko. I'm very relieved that you're here.
571
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:49,520
Things don't always go as planned, no?
572
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:51,050
But we're off to a good start.
573
00:50:51,050 --> 00:50:52,400
Yeah, we are.
574
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,850
Tell me... Sorry, what shall I call you?
575
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:58,640
Name's John.
576
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:06,000
Yes, John. Tell me, will there be any food available at the safe house?
577
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:10,000
That I don't know. But I can pick something up on the way that we can bring with us.
578
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:15,280
Yes. That would be very, very appreciated. Anything will do.
579
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:16,900
Be right back.
580
00:51:16,900 --> 00:51:20,360
No trouble at all. Take your time.
581
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:29,000
[Kolya places phone call]
582
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:36,400
Hello, my friend. All is according to plan. That bastard's dead.
583
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:43,000
No, the driver has no idea at all. He believes I'm Petrenko...
584
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:50,440
Mango. No, their Operation Mango is dead. Finished. I promise that.
585
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:56,160
Yeah, we're just leaving Denmark. We're in Germany in a few minutes.
586
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:00,160
I understand. He won't like the winters in Murmansk.
587
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:05,920
Or maybe he can join that fuck, Petrenko, instead. Huh?
588
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,880
[Johnnie: I can't guarantee how good it is, but at least it's hot.
589
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:10,320
Thank you, John.
590
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,280
I got us chicken. Figured we couldn't go wrong with that.
591
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:19,260
Excellent, my friend! We got this party started in a good way, huh?
592
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:56,080
Knock knock! How'd you do?
593
00:52:56,080 --> 00:53:02,320
Hurry! We need to talk private! Very important!
594
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,060
First, I've got to piss!
595
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:14,480
We got trouble, Johnnie! And this is bad! This is really bad!
596
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,540
Dude, you're scaring me. What happened?
597
00:53:20,900 --> 00:53:25,060
The man we're driving is not the man you were supposed to meet.
598
00:53:25,060 --> 00:53:28,500
-What? -He's a bad man, Johnnie.
599
00:53:28,500 --> 00:53:31,150
I heard him on the phone when you were in the food place.
600
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:34,000
And do you know who he called?
601
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:39,000
No. He spoke in English.
602
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:44,000
He said his man got the man you were meant to drive to Belgien.
603
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:52,580
And he promised that... I can't remember exactly what he said, but he's a bad man!
604
00:53:52,580 --> 00:53:56,050
Man, if you weren't in the trunk.
605
00:53:56,050 --> 00:53:59,600
Should we call someone? Maybe the police?
606
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:05,340
I don't know! I mean, they kidnapped the guy you were meant to drive to Belgien!
607
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:10,900
We have to figure this out. We can't get it wrong.
608
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,350
Are we still driving tomorrow?
609
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:27,200
[Johnnie dials the car phone]
610
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,800
Marge: Mike-Alpha-Sierra 7-2-6.
611
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,000
Marge? Juliet-Papa-Alpha, 4-null-null.
612
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,200
Package and delivery are compromised. Level alpha-one. I say again--
613
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:42,800
Marge: What do you know?!
614
00:54:51,300 --> 00:54:54,160
Don't forget to make a big deal out of carrying his bag when he comes out.
615
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:57,560
[phone rings]
616
00:54:58,200 --> 00:54:59,380
You're right on time.
617
00:54:59,380 --> 00:55:01,360
Marge: Like a Swiss train.
618
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:05,900
Marge: Here's the fact. I got a pic from the station chief in Warsaw.
619
00:55:05,900 --> 00:55:06,950
Marge: Is this the guy?
620
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,260
That's him.
621
00:55:14,260 --> 00:55:15,480
Marge: You're absolutely sure?
622
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:16,500
No doubt.
623
00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:18,100
Marge: Then we got a bigger problem.
624
00:55:18,100 --> 00:55:19,700
What?
625
00:55:19,700 --> 00:55:22,100
Marge: The chief is the only person I talked to.
626
00:55:22,100 --> 00:55:23,900
Marge: He's also the real assett's handler.
627
00:55:23,900 --> 00:55:27,180
Marge: But he's also the one who sent me the wrong picture.
628
00:55:27,180 --> 00:55:29,580
Marge: Johnnie! That's not our guy!
629
00:55:29,580 --> 00:55:32,200
So, it's got to be the station chief who's behind it.
630
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,760
Marge: Yep. I'm afraid for our guy.
631
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:38,760
Marge: Their little game won't work, I can promise--
632
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,600
--Sorry! He's walking to the car!
633
00:55:42,500 --> 00:55:43,500
[radio news announcer]
634
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:46,500
[radio news announcer] "...Terrorist plot thwarted in Haifa, Israel...
635
00:55:46,500 --> 00:55:49,400
English footballer caught with his pants down...
636
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:54,040
The International Monetary Fund will lose billions in Greek default...
637
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:58,300
And gay marriage is universal in all E.U. nations...
638
00:55:58,300 --> 00:56:01,640
This is the BBC world service."
639
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,100
[gentle music plays on radio] Kolya: Will you listen to that shit?
640
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,260
I don't know why anybody tries anymore.
641
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:13,560
Fucking butt fuckers, getting married like normal people!
642
00:56:15,180 --> 00:56:18,400
That's one thing the Soviet Union was good for.
643
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,120
They would at least disappear those pieces of shit
644
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,050
and send them off to Siberia where they could
645
00:56:23,050 --> 00:56:25,240
fuck each other in a snowy gulag!
646
00:56:26,540 --> 00:56:30,500
They won't be getting married in Russia anytime soon, that's for sure!
647
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:43,500
Can we take a stop to go to the toilet? I think we all could use a break right now.
648
00:56:43,900 --> 00:56:50,360
[song - "Only You" - plays on radio] ♪ ...And all I ever knew? Only you. ♪
649
00:56:54,750 --> 00:57:04,000
♪ Sometimes when I think of your name when it's only a game. And I need you.
650
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:11,000
♪ Listen to the words that you say. It's getting harder to stay. When I see you... ♪
651
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,720
How will this end?
652
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:22,400
I don't know exactly. But my boss said she put everything in place.
653
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:26,000
My guess is, we'll get there and they'll have agents waiting to take him to his new apartment.
654
00:57:27,060 --> 00:57:30,880
Oh yeah. The ones with the locks and the bars.
655
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:34,040
Maybe they make him wash the floors and the toilets.
656
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:35,960
With his toothbrush!
657
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,650
You know what, Johnnie?
658
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:49,800
I know that things don't look so good for you and your job right now, but...
659
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,400
I just want to let you know that...
660
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,080
This has been one big adventure for me.
661
00:57:56,460 --> 00:58:00,040
You're right. I probably will lose my job.
662
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,520
I might have to ask Pavel the Czech for a new one at your old hot dog place.
663
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:07,000
Dude!
664
00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:11,400
You don't mess with the hat!
665
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:17,600
There he comes. Let's go.
666
00:58:32,180 --> 00:58:33,540
Constable?
667
00:58:33,780 --> 00:58:35,040
What?
668
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,800
I think he means are you comfortable?
669
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:39,800
Oh! Yes, yes, quite so.
670
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:44,800
Good, good! We just got one thing to be taken care of and then we can be on our way.
671
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:55,920
Now we're ready to go.
672
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:57,560
What in the fuck is this?!
673
00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,200
Nobody talks to you!
674
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:03,120
You just wait! You're scums, you know this?
675
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,680
You'll both pay for your disgusting--
676
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:07,400
--Ah, shut the fuck up, asshole!
677
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:08,640
Hey!
678
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:12,240
You take me to fucking Antwerp now so I can get clean from you both!
679
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:14,480
I don't think he like us anymore.
680
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,420
And after all we've been through together!
681
00:59:17,580 --> 00:59:19,600
-What the fuck?! -Aaaggghhh! FUCK!
682
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:23,960
Get out! Get out NOW!
683
00:59:26,900 --> 00:59:27,960
Down on the ground!
684
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:32,400
I'm arresting you under the Amended Espionage Act of the United States of America!
685
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:34,040
Shoot me, faggot!
686
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:35,800
And for the suspicion of the disappearance of Nikolai Petrenko!
687
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:36,880
Do it, woman!
688
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:37,920
I'll shoot you dead!
689
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:38,950
Johnnie, you can't!
690
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:40,640
Johnnie, you can't!
691
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:41,680
Do it!
692
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:43,240
Or what?
693
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:45,960
You're gonna bugger me to death?
694
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:50,760
Get in the fucking car, Nancy Boy! Take me to the next town, or I swear...
695
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:51,680
[gunshot]
696
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:53,800
Aaaggghhh! What did you do?!!!
697
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:54,800
I shot you in the foot!
698
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:55,960
Johnnie!
699
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:57,080
What an asshole!
700
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:00,280
Next time it's your fucking skull! Sander! Open the trunk!
701
01:00:10,300 --> 01:00:11,800
FUCK!
702
01:00:26,620 --> 01:00:28,200
Wish me luck.
703
01:00:29,300 --> 01:00:32,160
Marge: Mike-Alpha-Sierra, seven-twenty-six.
704
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:33,540
Marge, we've got a problem.
705
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:14,080
[Johnnie narrates]: Okay! Operation Mango. My first assignment. Which I had royally screwed up.
706
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:17,100
Kolya: "Aaaggghhh! What an asshole!"
707
01:01:17,100 --> 01:01:21,640
The U.S.A. was in talks with Iran about ending their uranium enrichment program.
708
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:23,460
For obvious reasons.
709
01:01:23,460 --> 01:01:26,060
Marge got a colleague to pass her some detailed intel on
710
01:01:26,060 --> 01:01:28,400
Mango so she could come to my rescue.
711
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:32,750
But even their secret meeting was compromised by a 13-year-old fanboy!
712
01:02:22,380 --> 01:02:24,000
How's your thumb?
713
01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:28,500
It works.
714
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:30,860
Get it warmed up.
715
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:39,400
Okay. If we are thumbing for a ride we should at least do it the right way.
716
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:44,500
Dang! Awesome, dude! Why didn't you tell me this before?
717
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:51,850
Well, because I was thinking. You don't drink that much beer or alcohol so...
718
01:02:51,850 --> 01:02:55,160
I thought you would be upset if you saw cannabis.
719
01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:59,460
You know, I never want you to think that you can't tell me anything, okay?
720
01:02:59,460 --> 01:03:03,000
Well, there are some things I can't tell you.
721
01:03:03,580 --> 01:03:05,920
Fine. Be that way.
722
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:08,300
You big fucking stoner.
723
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:17,920
My lighter! It's in my backpack!
724
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,800
The Russian pig got my fucking lighter!
725
01:03:30,900 --> 01:03:34,620
So. Sander. Uhm...
726
01:03:35,750 --> 01:03:37,840
About that kiss.
727
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:46,240
I understand if you're not like me. But I can't be friends with you anymore
728
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:50,000
if I can't be who I am with you.
729
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:51,680
I'm sorry that I kissed you, Johnnie--
730
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:53,960
--I'm not sorry that you kissed me.
731
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:56,000
What?
732
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:57,200
I'm in love with you.
733
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:00,440
I'm completely and totally in love with you.
734
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:04,000
And I have been since the day you poured orange soda pop over your stupid head.
735
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,680
-But... -But nothing! I love you.
736
01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:13,540
Did I say it right? You big homo!
737
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,600
Why haven't you said anything?!
738
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:27,780
I have-- I have been going crazy all these days... And you love me...
739
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:32,640
You love me like I love you?
740
01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:37,320
If that kiss was the example, then, yeah... I love you like you love me.
741
01:04:52,980 --> 01:04:55,000
[van honks horn]
742
01:04:56,450 --> 01:04:56,480
Yes!!!
743
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:02,600
Ahhh! Yeah!
744
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:47,240
Yeah. This looks nice.
745
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,480
Look. One bed again.
746
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,500
I love you so much, Johnnie Allen.
747
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,400
I don't wanna cum too fast.
748
01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:26,380
What do you wanna do?
749
01:06:27,420 --> 01:06:30,350
I'm gonna make you a good massage for a time.
750
01:06:30,350 --> 01:06:33,000
Sure! Where do you want me, then?
751
01:06:37,140 --> 01:06:38,960
That's awesome!
752
01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:18,440
Oh, Johnnie!
753
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:28,800
Whoa!
754
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:30,240
Where did you...
755
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:37,960
I was going to suck your dick, but I think you got a bigger surprise instead!
756
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,650
Now I don't feel so bad.
757
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,800
Wow, man!
758
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:49,200
You came and nobody even touch it!
759
01:07:50,100 --> 01:07:53,100
That's what you call love from the inside out, huh?
760
01:07:53,100 --> 01:07:55,640
I haven't even seen that in pornos before!
761
01:07:59,900 --> 01:08:01,050
You know what?
762
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:08,920
You are just such a beautiful man.
763
01:08:10,340 --> 01:08:16,140
You are so kind to me, and I just want you to know that. Okay?
764
01:08:16,140 --> 01:08:17,760
Wow!
765
01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:19,640
Dang!
766
01:08:44,300 --> 01:08:46,320
Are you looking at my ass?
767
01:08:47,420 --> 01:08:50,200
Morning! And what if I am?
768
01:08:50,860 --> 01:08:53,500
Just checking.
769
01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:55,440
I was hoping that you were.
770
01:09:00,140 --> 01:09:02,300
Now I'm looking at your dick.
771
01:09:02,300 --> 01:09:03,660
Oh, I see.
772
01:09:06,780 --> 01:09:08,700
Now I'm touching your dick.
773
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:15,540
I like how it looks.
774
01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:19,560
That's good, I think. It will be bad if you don't.
775
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:23,960
No, I mean I like how it's the whole thing.
776
01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:26,640
Some asshole doctor didn't slice up yours when you were a baby.
777
01:09:27,220 --> 01:09:29,200
We don't do shit like that over here.
778
01:09:29,620 --> 01:09:32,440
We do where I'm from. It totally sucks.
779
01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:40,440
Look! I'm making a little place out of my hand for it to hide.
780
01:09:40,440 --> 01:09:43,240
Kind of like a little dog house for your hot dog.
781
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:49,520
Did you know that my big sister got a big crush on you.
782
01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:51,560
No way!
783
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:54,200
Yeah. But, uh...
784
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:59,480
That's her bad luck because you are all mine.
785
01:10:02,500 --> 01:10:04,480
And Jannik thinks that I'm Luke Skywalker.
786
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:06,400
Why?
787
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:09,640
He thinks that I can do anything.
788
01:10:10,940 --> 01:10:17,000
My mama says that I'm his helten. I think "hero" is the word.
789
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:19,200
Yeah, hero.
790
01:10:20,240 --> 01:10:23,450
I know what he sees in you. Smart kid.
791
01:10:24,250 --> 01:10:25,680
How'd you tell them... that you're-
792
01:10:27,380 --> 01:10:30,320
Sometimes I don't know what to do with you, Johnnie Allen.
793
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:31,140
Sorry.
794
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:33,200
But I will tell you.
795
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:40,460
Of course, I always kind of knew that I mostly like boys.
796
01:10:40,460 --> 01:10:41,600
Mostly?
797
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:45,100
Go on...
798
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:56,200
I fell for a boy called Torben. We had sex. But, one day he moved to Copenhagen.
799
01:10:57,440 --> 01:11:03,800
And I got really sad. And my mom asked me why I got so sad.
800
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:05,880
Yeah?
801
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:13,080
So, she hugs me and kisses me, and tells me that she understands everything.
802
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:19,400
And that every boy gets a crush on a boy sometimes.
803
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:23,160
But maybe one day I will like girls too.
804
01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:25,720
What happened then?
805
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,220
Is this a pussy?
806
01:11:28,220 --> 01:11:29,620
Fuck off!
807
01:11:29,620 --> 01:11:33,160
Exactly. So here we are.
808
01:11:55,680 --> 01:12:01,000
[fog horn sounds...sirens blare]
809
01:12:24,700 --> 01:12:28,100
I miss our car. This waiting on a train thing sucks.
810
01:12:28,420 --> 01:12:29,600
Yeah, man...
811
01:12:30,500 --> 01:12:32,140
It SUCKS!
812
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:39,240
How will you tell them? About us, I mean.
813
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:42,800
I show you. Gimme your phone.
814
01:12:53,500 --> 01:12:54,740
...You make them.
815
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:05,720
Of course. Hi, Johnnie. How are you two boys doing today?
816
01:13:05,720 --> 01:13:08,640
We're good, Mama. Actually, we got, a--
817
01:13:08,640 --> 01:13:13,440
We got news for you, too. Me and Johnnie are together.
818
01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:16,320
Yes, I know that. You're in Copenhagen. Yes?
819
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:17,400
Not like that.
820
01:13:17,400 --> 01:13:18,560
You know how to do it.
821
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:21,280
No. I mean, yeah, we went to... We went to Copenhagen--
822
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:24,620
--first the mustard, then the ketchup, and then the onions.
823
01:13:25,920 --> 01:13:27,960
And put more doggies on the grill.
824
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:31,640
What I meant was, me and Johnnie is together.
825
01:13:31,640 --> 01:13:36,360
Ah! You're boyfriends, then! This is very good news, Pokey!
826
01:13:36,360 --> 01:13:39,000
Oh, congratulations. I'm so happy for you both.
827
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,300
You have a wonderful man!
828
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:45,800
Thanks, uh...
829
01:13:48,420 --> 01:13:49,700
I love your son very much.
830
01:13:49,700 --> 01:13:52,560
Oh, I know you do. And Sander loves you, too.
831
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:56,520
Everyone will be so happy. Maybe not Ingrid.
832
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,260
When do you boys come back from Copenhagen?
833
01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,480
Yeah, uh, we will be back on Tuesday, uh-
834
01:14:01,480 --> 01:14:06,000
But right now, we are in... We are in Dusseldorf, changing trains to Belgien.
835
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:08,800
Is it your honeymoon trip? Because I can think of better places--
836
01:14:08,800 --> 01:14:12,000
--Yak yak yak yak! Phone phone phone! Help me!
837
01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:15,960
I was off an hour ago!
838
01:14:15,960 --> 01:14:18,840
Honeymoon in Belgien! So, you can bring me some chocolate!
839
01:14:18,840 --> 01:14:23,200
No, no, no it's for-- it's for Johnnie's work! But I will bring you the chocolate.
840
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:28,600
Okay, well, be safe. See you soon. Tuesday, okay? Bye!
841
01:14:32,440 --> 01:14:36,000
And that, dear Johnnie, is how us Hansen's deal with it.
842
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:39,160
Live and learn, my boy! Live and learn!
843
01:14:40,580 --> 01:14:42,840
How come she calls you, Pokey, Pokey?
844
01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:46,600
Yeah, that's a story, isn't it?
845
01:14:48,040 --> 01:14:49,560
I'm waiting.
846
01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:54,360
And let us save that story for our 25-year anniversary, okay?
847
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,100
Okay.
848
01:15:05,120 --> 01:15:08,120
[train arrival announcement]
849
01:15:16,220 --> 01:15:18,920
Yes, of course it's me. Stop being an idiot.
850
01:15:19,950 --> 01:15:23,880
Listen, this mission... We have to abort now. They're on to me.
851
01:15:25,150 --> 01:15:27,200
Yeah. Small mishap.
852
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:31,100
The fucking homo shot me.
853
01:15:31,660 --> 01:15:33,560
In the foot! What does it matter?!
854
01:15:35,260 --> 01:15:38,120
No! I need to get moving.
855
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:41,360
I'm at the Antwerp station. I'm trying to fix a train from here.
856
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,360
I'm serious! Why does your mom call you Pokey? I'm curious, man.
857
01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:53,240
Yeah, I know you are. But I won't tell you!
858
01:16:07,140 --> 01:16:08,840
You know what? I'll tell you.
859
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:10,640
[gunshot]
860
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:13,160
Sander! Sander?!
861
01:16:15,420 --> 01:16:16,620
AAAGGGHHH!!!!
862
01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:20,600
Fuck!
863
01:16:27,580 --> 01:16:28,700
What happened?
864
01:16:31,420 --> 01:16:34,420
Yeah. Yeah.
865
01:16:37,540 --> 01:16:39,000
Don't go!
866
01:16:40,880 --> 01:16:42,380
Marge! Please come!
867
01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:45,520
He shot--he shot him, Marge!
868
01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:49,360
I'm at the station!
869
01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:51,500
Just come, Marge!
870
01:17:10,740 --> 01:17:15,640
[intense, pounding music]
871
01:17:20,440 --> 01:17:21,880
[tires screech]
872
01:17:24,620 --> 01:17:27,660
Russian subject! Drop your weapon!
873
01:17:27,660 --> 01:17:29,680
Drop it now!
874
01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:32,160
And why should I do that?
875
01:17:37,260 --> 01:17:39,480
Because if you don't, I'm gonna kill ya!
876
01:17:39,480 --> 01:17:41,400
Why should I be afraid of you?
877
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:43,280
This doesn't have to end bad!
878
01:17:43,280 --> 01:17:44,600
Drop it now!
879
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:45,880
Drop it!
880
01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:48,160
Stop being an idiot! It's over for you!
881
01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:50,840
You are new to this, aren't you?
882
01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:53,400
Now here's what's gonna happen!
883
01:17:53,400 --> 01:17:57,240
I am going to leave now... And you're not gonna stop me!
884
01:17:57,240 --> 01:18:02,000
Or I will kill the lady! And then I will kill you! How about that?!
885
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:03,880
Not gonna happen!
886
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:05,480
Drop your weapon!
887
01:18:05,480 --> 01:18:07,260
Toss the gun on the ground! Now!
888
01:18:09,200 --> 01:18:10,800
No.
889
01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:12,600
Johnnie, look out!!!
890
01:18:16,360 --> 01:18:18,840
[sirens approach]
891
01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:38,520
Johnnie?!
892
01:18:51,960 --> 01:18:55,840
[Johnnie narrates]: Marge visited with us for most of the day
893
01:18:55,840 --> 01:18:58,700
and confirmed that the fake did, indeed, try and kill us.
894
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:04,420
I'd like to say that I took the high road, and that I felt bad for shooting him.
895
01:19:04,420 --> 01:19:08,080
I didn't feel bad. Because just an inch or two either way,
896
01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:12,200
and Sander could be in the morgue right now instead of here with me.
897
01:19:12,200 --> 01:19:12,960
Where's Johnnie?
898
01:19:21,360 --> 01:19:27,000
[Jannik's phone rings] [ringtone sounds like birds chirpping]
899
01:20:08,960 --> 01:20:10,680
I'm good. Thanks.
900
01:20:14,800 --> 01:20:16,240
Hi, Pokey.
901
01:20:17,200 --> 01:20:18,560
I'm so sorry.
902
01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:20,700
I'm so very, very sorry.
903
01:20:21,840 --> 01:20:25,400
It's a good thing that that man is not much of a good shot, huh?
904
01:20:35,160 --> 01:20:39,000
[bedside phone rings]
905
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:22,220
[Johnnie narrates]: Marge told me that the Russian bastard survived.
906
01:21:22,220 --> 01:21:29,000
And thankfully, because of some reason known only to her, so did my career as a Transport Specialist for the C.I.A.
907
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:30,800
Not that I deserved it at all.
908
01:21:49,400 --> 01:21:53,400
[airline departure announcement]
909
01:21:58,700 --> 01:21:59,820
All good?
910
01:21:59,820 --> 01:22:05,440
Yeah. She's just happy that I'm here. And not in the grave.
911
01:22:05,440 --> 01:22:07,480
I am, too, by the way.
912
01:22:15,860 --> 01:22:20,840
Johnnie? Can we talk about your family?
913
01:22:20,840 --> 01:22:25,080
Your mom and dad, and perhaps when I can meet them?
914
01:22:25,080 --> 01:22:27,000
Yeah, well...
915
01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:28,150
What?
916
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:34,000
My mom's a Bible thumper. To her, you and me should burn in hell forever and ever.
917
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,960
And I don't want her to ruin what we have.
918
01:22:37,400 --> 01:22:42,820
Don't she want you to be happy? To be with someone who loves you?
919
01:22:42,820 --> 01:22:48,440
You'd think so. But she likes Jesus. And thinks gays should burn in hell.
920
01:22:48,440 --> 01:22:54,640
Real smart stuff, right? Anyway, I'm happily half way around the world
921
01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:56,640
from her and her shitty husband.
922
01:22:56,640 --> 01:23:00,500
-And I don't need to-- -Maybe I need that.
923
01:23:00,500 --> 01:23:06,840
Johnnie, you said it yourself... You're half way around the world. Okay?
924
01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:10,160
You are away from them. Maybe, what I need--
925
01:23:10,160 --> 01:23:13,420
--No, you don't!
926
01:23:13,850 --> 01:23:21,560
So what? You just want to hide me in the basement? Like I'm not real?
927
01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:27,040
Ain't you happy about yourself, Johnnie? Do you wish you wasn't--
928
01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:29,760
--I'm very happy with who I am and who I'm becoming, Pokey.
929
01:23:29,760 --> 01:23:31,720
Come on. Plane's boarding.
930
01:23:35,720 --> 01:23:38,600
I promised myself no more hiding.
931
01:23:38,600 --> 01:23:42,820
Why let her say mean things to you or to me? That she can't take back?
932
01:23:45,480 --> 01:23:49,520
What! Sander, what the hell?!
933
01:23:49,520 --> 01:23:51,340
We won't work together.
934
01:23:52,780 --> 01:23:53,860
Sander!
935
01:23:55,280 --> 01:24:02,520
It won't work. For too many reasons.
936
01:24:02,520 --> 01:24:09,960
So, I think you should just sit here... And then I will be sitting over there.
937
01:24:22,750 --> 01:24:25,000
Come on. Planes ain't gonna wait.
938
01:24:46,760 --> 01:24:48,600
[children laughing]
939
01:24:50,620 --> 01:24:51,680
Please sit.
940
01:24:52,380 --> 01:24:53,080
Okay.
941
01:24:58,120 --> 01:25:08,480
I always want to be fair with you. Because I love you so much.
942
01:25:09,360 --> 01:25:11,200
So here it comes.
943
01:25:15,240 --> 01:25:21,280
I am not a good person. And I'm not the man you think I am.
944
01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:29,320
You're not my first boyfriend. You know that, right?
945
01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:31,520
Yeah. Torben, right?
946
01:25:34,140 --> 01:25:39,800
I told you that when we broke up, it wasn't a big deal at the time.
947
01:25:44,320 --> 01:25:46,800
But it was a very big deal!
948
01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:54,380
Hey! Do you still love him?
949
01:26:54,380 --> 01:26:58,520
I mean, it's okay. I'll stick around until you tell me not to. Just stop it, Sander!
950
01:26:58,520 --> 01:27:04,480
He was so afraid that our classmates would think there was something between us.
951
01:27:04,480 --> 01:27:08,120
Just like you are afraid that your mom will know.
952
01:27:08,120 --> 01:27:16,200
And then one day after school, my world just gets destroyed.
953
01:28:30,700 --> 01:28:38,700
I feel like a bad person because Jannik saw what happened. I was so mean to him.
954
01:28:38,700 --> 01:28:40,600
He saved your life.
955
01:28:41,660 --> 01:28:44,200
You don't wish to be with me, Johnnie.
956
01:28:46,820 --> 01:28:48,380
Melanie Martinez!
957
01:28:51,320 --> 01:28:55,800
We cut and kill flowers because we think they're beautiful...
958
01:28:55,800 --> 01:28:59,500
We cut and kill ourselves because we think we're not.
959
01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:02,360
Melanie Martinez. She wrote it.
960
01:29:04,840 --> 01:29:06,640
You're such a stupid American.
961
01:29:07,480 --> 01:29:11,280
So, you won't forgive yourself! What kind of shit is that?!
962
01:29:11,280 --> 01:29:13,880
Dude! You gotta get past it! We gotta get past it!
963
01:29:13,880 --> 01:29:23,680
Except I almost killed myself because I'm... Because I'm me. Okay?
964
01:29:24,040 --> 01:29:32,400
I mean, you don't even want to show me to your mom. So, where does that leave us?
965
01:29:33,920 --> 01:29:38,200
What if we start over from the very first?
966
01:29:43,720 --> 01:29:48,520
I do love you. You know that, right?
967
01:29:48,520 --> 01:29:52,360
Yeah. Same here. And I don't care who knows it.
968
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:55,440
Not even your mom?
969
01:29:55,440 --> 01:29:59,200
No. I'll never leave you.
970
01:30:00,720 --> 01:30:05,920
I don't know. Maybe you should find a Norwegian instead.
971
01:30:05,920 --> 01:30:09,520
Dumb Dane. I just might do that!
972
01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:13,040
I can actually kind of picture you with a Norwegian now.
973
01:30:13,040 --> 01:30:17,280
Yurta hurta fluckity flurta! Come-a-sucka-me-tiny Norwegian dick!
974
01:30:17,280 --> 01:30:21,600
Asshole! Come on.
975
01:30:24,440 --> 01:30:29,400
Still got that joint on ya? Bet we can get a light from that cop over there.
976
01:30:29,400 --> 01:30:32,160
Yeah, you got problems, man!
977
01:30:32,160 --> 01:30:34,400
That's why you love me.
978
01:30:34,400 --> 01:30:35,550
Maybe.
979
01:31:08,000 --> 01:31:11,000
[listens to recordings of himself]
980
01:31:12,000 --> 01:31:16,840
"It's me. Looks like I made it." "I'm in Denmark."
981
01:31:22,060 --> 01:31:25,740
"He's beautiful. But I know I can never have him."
982
01:31:26,600 --> 01:31:28,000
"Got my assignment today.
983
01:31:28,000 --> 01:31:30,800
But I can't even look at it 'til the day of it."
984
01:31:30,800 --> 01:31:33,080
"So, I guess I'll ju(st)-"
985
01:31:35,440 --> 01:31:37,600
You want me to stop?
986
01:31:37,600 --> 01:31:38,600
No.
987
01:31:43,840 --> 01:31:45,520
[continues listening]
988
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:50,600
"We steer our lives onto roads where they don't belong, craving some kind of validation."
989
01:31:50,600 --> 01:31:55,460
"We're fragile. Now I'm stronger than I've ever been."
990
01:31:55,460 --> 01:31:59,640
"It's because of a man who loves me and takes me for who and for what I am."
991
01:32:06,320 --> 01:32:08,160
Are you looking at my ass?
992
01:32:11,260 --> 01:32:13,100
Okay, you can look a little.
993
01:32:15,240 --> 01:32:16,480
[continues listening]
994
01:32:18,500 --> 01:32:21,520
"I've been given a gift in Sander Lars Hansen."
995
01:32:21,520 --> 01:32:26,120
"He's the final piece to the very strange puzzle known as Johnnie Paul Allen."
996
01:32:26,120 --> 01:32:28,040
"And about Sander Lars Hansen..."
997
01:32:28,040 --> 01:32:33,240
"Will we make it together? I think so. I really do."
998
01:32:33,240 --> 01:32:36,960
"And don't get me wrong. I'm happy to be me."
999
01:32:36,960 --> 01:32:38,300
"But I'm much happier to be..."
1000
01:32:38,300 --> 01:32:40,680
"Us."
1001
01:32:49,600 --> 01:32:52,160
Do you like that, Johnnie Allen?
1002
01:33:20,880 --> 01:33:24,880
[end theme music plays]
1003
01:39:50,160 --> 01:39:57,640
CAPTIONED BY WPM/SKYMARK -- JOHN RIETVELD, M.P.S.E.
75415
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