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1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:05,261
- [coughing]- [moans]
2
00:00:08,934 --> 00:00:12,374
- Hey, kids, I've got a lot
going on in my life right now.
3
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,271
What are these "emergencies"?
Make it quick.
4
00:00:14,339 --> 00:00:16,439
- I've had explosive diarrhea
all morning,
5
00:00:16,508 --> 00:00:17,838
and I'm crapping
all over the school.
6
00:00:17,943 --> 00:00:19,543
- Not touching that.
Next.
7
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:22,714
- I got stung by a bee,
and I can't feel my tongue.
8
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,324
- Gonna stop ya right there.
9
00:00:24,382 --> 00:00:26,282
Those are all
really complex ailments.
10
00:00:26,351 --> 00:00:27,621
Tom, what's wrong with you?
11
00:00:27,686 --> 00:00:29,486
- You know,
I feel kind of sluggish.
12
00:00:29,554 --> 00:00:31,724
I can't tell if it's--I'm sick,
or if it's just my personality.
13
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:34,563
- All right, get in here, Tom.
Let's get you taken care of.
14
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:35,989
Okay, Tom,
put this in your mouth
15
00:00:36,061 --> 00:00:37,461
and make it seem like
I'm doing work.
16
00:00:37,529 --> 00:00:38,829
- Okay.
17
00:00:38,897 --> 00:00:40,167
- I'm actually really glad
you stopped by.
18
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:41,732
You were
on my to-do list today.
19
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:42,873
- Me? Why?
20
00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:45,238
- Because I have
an announcement!
21
00:00:46,071 --> 00:00:51,011
I'm getting married
to a beautiful man named Doug!
22
00:00:51,810 --> 00:00:53,080
- Why are you telling me?
23
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:56,178
- This school is like family
to me, okay?
24
00:00:56,248 --> 00:00:58,748
I'm inviting all
of my favorite people.
25
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,390
- I'm one
of your favorite people?
26
00:01:00,485 --> 00:01:02,545
We've literally talked twice
about Band-Aids.
27
00:01:02,654 --> 00:01:04,564
- And tell your Mom she's
gonna be in my bridal party.
28
00:01:04,656 --> 00:01:06,256
We're gonna have so much fun!
29
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,928
- Have you guys even met?
- She's my best friend.
30
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,997
She's being in the wedding.
[thermometer beeps]
31
00:01:11,062 --> 00:01:13,032
Oh, you're actually
really sick,
32
00:01:13,098 --> 00:01:15,098
but I'm not dealing with that.
See ya.
33
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,570
[upbeat music playing]
34
00:01:16,668 --> 00:01:18,338
- Oh wow, she really invited
the whole town.
35
00:01:18,403 --> 00:01:19,843
Kevork, the plumber,
36
00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,265
the guy who works at 7-Eleven,
37
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,543
my old babysitter.
38
00:01:22,607 --> 00:01:24,377
- Tom, when people ask
about me,
39
00:01:24,442 --> 00:01:26,582
always just say, "She's busy."
40
00:01:26,678 --> 00:01:28,348
- I'm sorry.
I said she's wide open.
41
00:01:28,413 --> 00:01:30,283
- And I know that's the truth
of our lives,
42
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,552
but don't say that.
43
00:01:31,616 --> 00:01:32,876
- I shouldn't have
volunteered you
44
00:01:32,951 --> 00:01:34,121
to be in someone's
bridal party.
45
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,449
- How do you think I feel?
46
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,964
I mean, I'm giving away
the bride,
47
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,255
and I literally don't know
her last name.
48
00:01:38,356 --> 00:01:39,586
- I'm starting to feel
left out.
49
00:01:39,691 --> 00:01:41,591
Am I the only person
not invited?
50
00:01:41,693 --> 00:01:43,603
- Ah, no, lots of people
didn't make the cut.
51
00:01:43,695 --> 00:01:45,755
I mean you...
Dakota's mom...
52
00:01:45,864 --> 00:01:48,804
I don't think she invited
the Principal's bookie, Lou.
53
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,070
- Nope, I'm here!
54
00:01:50,135 --> 00:01:51,465
I'm in charge
of pussy and booze.
55
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,310
What do you guys need?
- Hey, Lou.
56
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,135
- Is this all I represent
to you people?
57
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,610
A bus driver?
58
00:01:56,708 --> 00:01:58,308
The guy who sits
behind the wheel
59
00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,780
and drives the bus?
60
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:01,879
- Yep, yeah.
61
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,247
- Yeah, that is the definition
of a bus driver.
62
00:02:03,315 --> 00:02:05,545
- Okay.
I retract the question.
63
00:02:07,319 --> 00:02:09,119
- Look, I got to put
this stupid dress on.
64
00:02:09,220 --> 00:02:12,120
I'll see you at the ceremony.
Don't talk to anyone, Tom.
65
00:02:12,223 --> 00:02:13,633
Let's make this
a clean in and out.
66
00:02:13,725 --> 00:02:14,955
- Don't talk to anyone?
67
00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:16,160
- Yeah, just go sit
really still
68
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,231
in a corner of the lobby.
69
00:02:17,295 --> 00:02:18,425
Face a wall.
70
00:02:18,496 --> 00:02:19,656
- And just pretend
I can't talk?
71
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,074
- Yeah, you know what?
72
00:02:21,132 --> 00:02:22,402
I'll give you a couple
of papers that say
73
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:23,897
"I don't know how to talk."
74
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:24,999
- All right.
75
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,813
Not the most fun wedding,
but sure.
76
00:02:26,905 --> 00:02:30,575
All right, if anyone talks
to you, just "no habla ingles."
77
00:02:30,642 --> 00:02:32,842
- How's it going, little man?
- What are you doing here?
78
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,084
- I'm getting married.
I'm Doug.
79
00:02:35,146 --> 00:02:36,346
- Oh!
She didn't say
80
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,648
she was marrying
the ice cream man.
81
00:02:37,749 --> 00:02:39,019
- Well, I--I think "Doug"
82
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,347
feels more prestigious.
83
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,822
You know, if you tell someone,
84
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,290
"I'm marrying
the ice cream man,"
85
00:02:43,355 --> 00:02:44,615
it doesn't sound
like a bright future.
86
00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:46,089
- So, uh... you excited?
87
00:02:46,157 --> 00:02:47,487
- Not at all.
88
00:02:47,592 --> 00:02:48,992
I feel like the walls
are closing in around me.
89
00:02:49,094 --> 00:02:50,634
It's like my schvanz
is in a vice
90
00:02:50,695 --> 00:02:52,655
and the pressure
is slowly tightening.
91
00:02:52,764 --> 00:02:54,874
- Doesn't sound fun at all.
- It's not fun.
92
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,636
Hey, listen.
I need you to do me a favor.
93
00:02:56,701 --> 00:02:58,041
I was supposed to find
a ring bearer
94
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,596
for this whole thing,
and I didn't.
95
00:02:59,671 --> 00:03:01,541
So, can you do it?
- Me?
96
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,270
No, I promised my mom
we'd be in and out.
97
00:03:03,341 --> 00:03:05,541
I--I can't bear any rings.
- You owe me one.
98
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,484
- I owe you? Why?
- You sank my truck.
99
00:03:07,545 --> 00:03:09,645
You know how much it cost
to dredge that thing up?
100
00:03:09,714 --> 00:03:11,724
- All right, I guess I owe you
on some level.
101
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:13,176
- This is what you've got
to learn in life.
102
00:03:13,284 --> 00:03:14,394
This is good for you, actually.
103
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,216
This is a learning situation.
104
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,821
[rock music]
105
00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:21,129
- That bachelor party
was off the hook!
106
00:03:21,192 --> 00:03:23,062
At the strip club,
when she went upside down
107
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,461
and her hair was dragging--
108
00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:26,129
- Guys! Guys! Keep it clean.
109
00:03:26,197 --> 00:03:27,627
We got
a little fucking kid here.
110
00:03:27,699 --> 00:03:29,229
- Oh right.
Yeah, of course-course-course.
111
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,704
I was saying,
I was at the strip club
112
00:03:30,802 --> 00:03:35,242
when that grown woman
climbed a pole,
113
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,080
that--that was so much fun!
114
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:40,245
- Yeah. She really climbed
that pole good.
115
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:43,145
- That was--I'm sorry, guys.
That was the party?
116
00:03:43,214 --> 00:03:44,584
You watched a lady
climb a pole?
117
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,083
- No, Tom, there's more to it.
118
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,854
There's music,
and there's lights...
119
00:03:47,919 --> 00:03:49,189
- They got pretzels.
120
00:03:49,254 --> 00:03:50,664
- They got
little bags of chips.
121
00:03:50,722 --> 00:03:51,892
- Can I be honest with you?
122
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:53,390
You guys' stories
are kinda boring.
123
00:03:53,491 --> 00:03:54,761
I might go hang out
over there with Doug.
124
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,829
- Please go over there.
125
00:03:58,396 --> 00:04:00,096
Doug, you really
should start getting dressed.
126
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,568
It's almost time.
127
00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:03,936
- There is a time to be born
and a time to die,
128
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,365
a time to plant
and a time to uproot.
129
00:04:06,438 --> 00:04:07,708
That's from the Bible.
130
00:04:07,772 --> 00:04:09,772
- Are you okay, Doug?
- Not really.
131
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,784
My life is flashing
before my eyes.
132
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,606
I'm like a wild stallion, Tom.
I need to run free.
133
00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:16,052
- I'm not following.
134
00:04:16,114 --> 00:04:17,584
What does the stallion
have to do with anything?
135
00:04:17,682 --> 00:04:19,422
- I feel trapped.
I'm gonna marry this nurse
136
00:04:19,517 --> 00:04:21,087
and then drive
an ice cream truck
137
00:04:21,186 --> 00:04:22,546
the rest of my life?
138
00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:24,620
- Sounds amazing!
But, hey, my dad was married,
139
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:25,963
and he didn't feel trapped.
140
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,557
He just drove off
to Myrtle Beach one day.
141
00:04:27,625 --> 00:04:29,755
- Really? For how long?
- Just a...
142
00:04:29,861 --> 00:04:31,461
indefinite Myrtle Beach
excursion.
143
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,803
- Let me get this straight.
144
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,227
He was married
with a kid, you...
145
00:04:34,299 --> 00:04:35,799
- Yeah.
- And he said,
146
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,140
"I'm driving to Myrtle Beach?"
147
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,235
- I mean, he didn't say it
out loud.
148
00:04:38,303 --> 00:04:39,473
He just took off.
149
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,771
He just left a note
on the fridge.
150
00:04:40,872 --> 00:04:41,912
- Your dad sounds
like a legend.
151
00:04:41,973 --> 00:04:43,113
- Legend?
No, no.
152
00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:44,438
My mom
would disagree with that.
153
00:04:44,542 --> 00:04:45,482
- Well, potato, pa-tot-oh.
154
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:46,637
This is great advice, Tom.
155
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,275
- Oh no, it's not "advice."
156
00:04:48,379 --> 00:04:50,479
- It changes my whole outlook
on the whole thing.
157
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,152
- Okay.
Well, glad we talked.
158
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,990
- And by the way, Tom,
you still owe me six grand
159
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,285
for the ice cream truck.
160
00:04:55,386 --> 00:04:56,816
Am I ever going to see
that money?
161
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,161
- You didn't get it?
I thought I mailed it.
162
00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,486
- You know I didn't
get it, Tom.
163
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,161
- I clearly mailed you $6,000.
164
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,659
- You mailed it?
You sent it through the mail?
165
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,926
[wedding march playing]
166
00:05:06,998 --> 00:05:08,828
- Wow, you clean up nice.
167
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,173
- Aw! Thank you.
So do you.
168
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,839
- Hey, I know
I'm Tom's principal,
169
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,607
but is it inappropriate for me
to say
170
00:05:14,672 --> 00:05:16,512
your tits look amazing
in that dress?
171
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,578
- No, that's cool.
I welcome it. Thank you.
172
00:05:18,643 --> 00:05:20,353
- Thanks for your patience,
everyone.
173
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,945
We will begin shortly.
174
00:05:22,013 --> 00:05:25,783
Unfortunately, we are
just waiting on the groom.
175
00:05:25,850 --> 00:05:30,460
♪ ♪
176
00:05:30,522 --> 00:05:33,632
- What's going on out there?
Is he seriously running late?
177
00:05:33,691 --> 00:05:35,461
- I'm sure he's milling
around somewhere.
178
00:05:35,527 --> 00:05:36,857
- What the F, guys?
179
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,131
You were just with him.
Who saw him last?
180
00:05:39,197 --> 00:05:40,367
- I saw him.
He was talking to Tom
181
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,865
right by the window.
182
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,266
- Tom...
- Sorry, Mom.
183
00:05:43,334 --> 00:05:45,174
I didn't talk, though.
I mostly listened.
184
00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:47,540
- Okay.
Tom, what did he say?
185
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,109
- Uh, just a lot
of Bible quotes.
186
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:52,384
- Bible?
Like quotes about loving me?
187
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,377
- Nah, it was about, uh, time
and, uh,
188
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,980
a lot of doomsday talk.
Something about a stallion.
189
00:05:58,049 --> 00:06:00,289
- Okay, you're freaking me out.
- His schvanz in a vice.
190
00:06:00,351 --> 00:06:01,521
Is that from the Bible?
191
00:06:01,619 --> 00:06:03,149
- Oh, guys, wait.
There's a note.
192
00:06:03,221 --> 00:06:04,221
- A note?
193
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,862
Let me see.
What does it say?
194
00:06:05,957 --> 00:06:07,727
"I'm driving down
to Myrtle Beach
195
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,456
just like Tom's dad did."
196
00:06:09,527 --> 00:06:12,197
- Wait. What?
- "Thanks for the advice, Tom.
197
00:06:12,297 --> 00:06:14,067
You da man.
Woot, woot.
198
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:18,835
P.S.: the stallion rides free."
Tom, what the fuck?
199
00:06:18,903 --> 00:06:20,413
- I don't think people say
"what the fuck"
200
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:21,665
at weddings, do they?
201
00:06:21,739 --> 00:06:23,009
- They do when
they're abandoned.
202
00:06:23,074 --> 00:06:24,584
- All right.
Let's just go dance
203
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,576
and eat dinner.
What do you do now?
204
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:29,078
- Cry.
- Let's go cry and dance.
205
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,080
[upbeat jazz music]
206
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,183
♪ ♪
207
00:06:33,251 --> 00:06:34,851
- Come on people, dance.
208
00:06:34,919 --> 00:06:36,989
We're only playing
jazz standards,
209
00:06:37,055 --> 00:06:39,655
so don't wait
for the Electric Slide
210
00:06:39,724 --> 00:06:44,434
or something you consider
to be fun.
211
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:48,599
- [crying]
212
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,840
- Con--congratulations.
What do people say? Congrats?
213
00:06:51,903 --> 00:06:54,043
- Shut up!
214
00:06:54,105 --> 00:06:55,535
- Listen, I'm--I'm so--
I feel terrible.
215
00:06:55,607 --> 00:06:57,107
- You should.
- Principal, say something.
216
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,938
- Say nothing.
Let Tom sit in the discomfort.
217
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,283
- All right, everybody!
So good news:
218
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,948
the reception is starting,
219
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,416
and the nurse is gonna start
by cutting the cake.
220
00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:06,245
Yay! Yay!...
- No, I am not!
221
00:07:06,351 --> 00:07:08,551
I'm not--I'm not cutting
the cake by myself.
222
00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:09,890
That's sad.
223
00:07:09,954 --> 00:07:11,264
- It's a tradition, right?
- It's fun!
224
00:07:11,356 --> 00:07:12,786
You cut the cake.
You eat cake.
225
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,061
- That does sound fun.
- Okay.
226
00:07:16,861 --> 00:07:18,901
- Get to the part where you
smear it on your face, please.
227
00:07:18,963 --> 00:07:20,973
- I'm not smearing it
on my face.
228
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,395
- Have you ever been
to a wedding?
229
00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:23,737
Everybody smears cake
on their face.
230
00:07:23,801 --> 00:07:25,071
- Well, normally there's
someone else
231
00:07:25,136 --> 00:07:26,366
doing the smearing!
232
00:07:26,437 --> 00:07:27,907
- Come on, take a deep breath.
233
00:07:27,972 --> 00:07:29,812
This could be the best night
of your life.
234
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,808
- Smear it on your face!
Smear it on your face.
235
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,551
- Mom. No. Mom. Please.
Don't chant.
236
00:07:34,612 --> 00:07:36,252
guests: Smear it on your face.
237
00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:38,384
- Oh my God!
This is a nightmare.
238
00:07:38,449 --> 00:07:40,319
Fine.
Fine!
239
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,988
- All right.
At least we're having fun now!
240
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,546
Give her a hand.
That was--she's a good sport!
241
00:07:43,621 --> 00:07:45,491
She's a good sport.
- I'm not having fun!
242
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,290
Hi, can I stick my head in?
I'm friends with everyone here.
243
00:07:48,393 --> 00:07:49,733
- Name.
244
00:07:49,794 --> 00:07:51,334
- It's probably
under "Bus Driver."
245
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,559
- Nope.
- Try "the" bus driver.
246
00:07:53,631 --> 00:07:54,831
- Nope.
Under the Bs,
247
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,233
I've got bus mechanic...
248
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,501
- That's an insult.
- Bus dispatch guy...
249
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,143
- Another asshole.
- Bus insurance adjuster.
250
00:08:01,239 --> 00:08:04,109
- Okay, prick.
- And bus door repairman.
251
00:08:04,175 --> 00:08:05,975
- Bus door repairman?
252
00:08:06,077 --> 00:08:08,307
- Yeah, he came in dancing
doing this whole thing
253
00:08:08,413 --> 00:08:11,183
called "the bus door."
It was pretty cool.
254
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,622
- He's doing the bus door?
I invented the bus door!
255
00:08:14,686 --> 00:08:16,846
- Oh, hey, Bus Driver.
Can we talk real quick?
256
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,355
- Sure. Yeah.
I wasn't going in anywhere.
257
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:19,856
- All right, listen,
here's the deal:
258
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,928
I ruined the whole wedding.
It's a disaster.
259
00:08:21,993 --> 00:08:23,763
The groom took off.
He's heading down the turnpike
260
00:08:23,828 --> 00:08:25,458
in an ice cream truck.
We gotta go find him.
261
00:08:25,530 --> 00:08:26,860
- All right,
well, let's do this!
262
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:27,925
Let's hunt it down.
263
00:08:27,999 --> 00:08:29,199
- Really? That's amazing.
264
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,000
- I want to be part
of this wedding.
265
00:08:31,102 --> 00:08:34,172
If I got to chase down and hit
the groom's ice cream truck,
266
00:08:34,272 --> 00:08:35,872
I'm okay to do that.
267
00:08:36,507 --> 00:08:39,207
Tom, put your seatbelt on,
because we are going 90,
268
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,880
and there is a very good chance
this does not end well.
269
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,450
- All right, just keep
your foot on the gas.
270
00:08:43,514 --> 00:08:45,284
He's in a slow-moving truck.
We can catch him.
271
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:49,320
- Wait, wait!
Is that him?
272
00:08:49,387 --> 00:08:51,057
- All right. Veer right.
We got him.
273
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:55,355
- I'm veering my ass off.
- Doug, slow down.
274
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:56,890
It's Tom, from the balcony.
- Ah.
275
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,395
Hey, little man.
What's up?
276
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,727
- Listen, you need
to reconsider.
277
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,402
You're making
a terrible mistake.
278
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,340
- Oh, I agree.
I should've taken the parkway.
279
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:05,872
But it's too late.
I can't turn around.
280
00:09:05,970 --> 00:09:07,410
- No, it's not the mistake
I'm talking about.
281
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,405
I'm talking about
the wedding you bailed on.
282
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:10,807
- Nah, too late for that.
283
00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,075
I already said
"the stallion rides free."
284
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,907
It'd be embarrassing
to just go back now.
285
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,423
- Doug, that is not a good
reason to not get married.
286
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,745
- When you grow up, you realize
you make life decisions
287
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:21,091
on a lot of stupid things.
288
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:23,415
[honks horn]
289
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,091
- Remember that time we went
to an Italian restaurant
290
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,430
and then screwed on my couch?
291
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,855
- I do.
That was fun.
292
00:09:28,926 --> 00:09:30,496
Remember the time
we went to the concert,
293
00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:31,831
and we threw churros at people,
294
00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:33,426
and you hit that guy
in the eye?
295
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,071
- That might have been
the best night of my life.
296
00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:36,996
And I don't know if you
remember this, Principal,
297
00:09:37,068 --> 00:09:38,438
but I have a son.
298
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:39,936
- Where is Tom, by the way?
I haven't seen him?
299
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,008
- I'm sure
he's around here somewhere.
300
00:09:42,073 --> 00:09:44,183
I try not to be
a "helicopter mom,"
301
00:09:44,242 --> 00:09:46,012
as they say.
302
00:09:46,077 --> 00:09:47,407
- All right, come on,
get me closer.
303
00:09:47,512 --> 00:09:48,412
I'm going in.
304
00:09:48,513 --> 00:09:49,683
- This goes against
305
00:09:49,747 --> 00:09:51,577
almost all
my bus driver training.
306
00:09:53,684 --> 00:09:55,954
- Oh, that's dangerous.
- Look at you.
307
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,194
Does this look like a man
308
00:09:57,255 --> 00:09:58,455
who's making
the right decision?
309
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,016
- Absolutely not.
310
00:10:00,091 --> 00:10:01,591
- I just think you seem to like
the nurse on some level.
311
00:10:01,692 --> 00:10:03,032
- I do.
312
00:10:03,094 --> 00:10:04,464
- You probably don't have
many options out there.
313
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,132
- I don't.
314
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,730
- I can't imagine you're gonna
be a big hit in Myrtle Beach.
315
00:10:07,799 --> 00:10:09,299
- Probably not.
316
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,800
- All things considered,
I think you should turn around.
317
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,802
- Wow.
You are a wise little man.
318
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,944
- All right, let's--
let's go back and get married.
319
00:10:15,039 --> 00:10:16,239
Oh, hey, Bus Driver,
we're all good here.
320
00:10:16,307 --> 00:10:17,637
You can go home.
321
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,382
- Who's that idiot?
Did we invite him?
322
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,314
- I've actually been meaning
to talk to you about that.
323
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,052
There must have been
a mix-up with the invites--
324
00:10:23,114 --> 00:10:25,224
- No time to talk.
Let's turn this thing around
325
00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:26,553
so I can get married.
326
00:10:26,617 --> 00:10:28,587
The stallion turns back.
327
00:10:29,153 --> 00:10:32,093
- You're very easily swayed.
Did anyone ever tell you that?
328
00:10:32,156 --> 00:10:35,286
[rock music]
329
00:10:37,228 --> 00:10:40,328
- It really wasn't that bad.
- Actually, arguably,
330
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:43,431
this is the worst thing that
could happen at a wedding.
331
00:10:43,501 --> 00:10:46,401
- Hello everyone!
Hey! I have an announcement.
332
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,341
I tracked down
the ice cream man.
333
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,669
The wedding's back on.
334
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:53,314
- Doug?
Oh my God, thank you, Tom!
335
00:10:53,411 --> 00:10:55,811
Doug, come on out here.
336
00:10:55,913 --> 00:10:58,953
- Oh, bad news, guys.
He left a note...
337
00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:00,416
- More notes? Come on.
338
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:02,685
"Sorry, Nurse, I bailed again.
339
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:06,087
"The half-hour alone in the car
with Tom made me realize
340
00:11:06,157 --> 00:11:10,357
"I don't want to have kids.
He's got a lot of problems.
341
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:13,631
The stallion rides free.
Woot, woot."
342
00:11:13,698 --> 00:11:16,268
[rock music playing on radio]
343
00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:19,474
- Woot, woot!
344
00:11:19,537 --> 00:11:21,107
- Way to go, Tom.
345
00:11:21,172 --> 00:11:22,542
- Are all weddings
this stressful?
346
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,980
Because I'm not
enjoying myself at all.
347
00:11:25,343 --> 00:11:27,153
- ♪ Rememberthere's more road ♪
348
00:11:27,211 --> 00:11:29,211
♪ And places to go ♪
349
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,353
♪ Patterns to contemplate ♪
350
00:11:31,449 --> 00:11:33,179
♪ More people to fornicate ♪
351
00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:36,354
♪ And rememberthere's a lot of good omens ♪
352
00:11:36,454 --> 00:11:37,994
♪ Supplying the proof ♪
353
00:11:38,055 --> 00:11:41,655
♪ That our lifeis the best joke ever told ♪
354
00:11:41,726 --> 00:11:45,356
♪ Remember it's a jokeand leave it alone ♪
355
00:11:45,463 --> 00:11:49,803
♪ Let go and try to bealways abiding ♪
356
00:11:49,867 --> 00:11:54,037
♪ Remember if there'sone good reason for dying ♪
357
00:11:54,138 --> 00:11:55,908
♪ The sweet silver lining ♪
358
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,177
♪ Through you she lives on ♪
359
00:11:58,242 --> 00:12:02,082
♪ And therein lies a truthwe can sip when we want ♪
360
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,720
♪ Disciples of the flow,we can float anywhere ♪
361
00:12:05,770 --> 00:12:10,320
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