All language subtitles for Ten Year Old Tom s01e12.eng

♪ I like it when you move it ♪

[flute playing softly]

- As we say goodbye
to sweet George,

let's remember the better days
when he would sit in his bowl,

and kinda blink.
Guy loved to blink, didn't he?

- He loved to blink.
Yes, he did.

- Nelson, why don't you
do the honors

and shove all of his personal
belongings down the toilet?

- It's not going down.
- Use your foot.

- I'm not putting my foot
in your toilet, Tom.

- Nelson, put your foot
in the toilet.

It's a funeral.
Show some respect.

- My mom would kill me
if I ruin these socks.

- All right, fine. I'll do it.

- Don't splash, man!
You're splashing me!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's going on here?

- Mom, we're giving George
a funeral.

- George died?

We got him three days ago, Tom.
He cost 12 bucks.

- Excuse me. Sorry.

Should I keep playing
the flute through this part?

- Keep playing. It's beaut--
it's really beautiful.

- Dakota, take it away
from your mouth.

- Dakota, please.
- Dakota, no more.

- Oh, my God.
This is the worst funeral ever.

- The funeral's off 'cause
we're going to the pet store

and we're gonna get
our money back.

- Nelson, get her out.

- Nelson, don't.
- Ow!

- Oh, my God. Stop. Don't.
Give me the fish.

- Give it.
- What is happening here?

- Other than putting your foot
in the toilet,

this was
a very tasteful ceremony.

[door closes]

[cat yowls]

[upbeat '80s music plays]

- Hi, we came here
and we were sold a faulty fish.

And, uh, the fish passed.

So if you just want to credit
that back to the credit card

or give us some cash.

- Sorry, can't do it.
- What's this?

- Can I interest you
in a new fish?

- New fish? No.
- We need a full refund.

- Yeah, here's the thing.

The fish was healthy
three days ago.

He was swimming. He was happy.
Now he's been whacked.

- Whacked?
- Hang on!

Are you trying to say
my son murdered George?

- As corporate policy,
we don't say "murder" but yes,

I believe
your son murdered the fish.

- I found the body.
No one's denying that.

- How dare you say
my son, Tom--

- Your son is
standing there, ma'am,

with a blank expression
on his face.

That's what murderers do.

- His face is always blank.
He's a thinker.

- Is--is there
a problem over here?

- This "lady"--
- What? Lady in quotes?

- Is trying to return
a dead fish?

And she's giving me loads of

'tude
because I'm not having it.

- All right, calm down.
Thanks, Casey. I've got this.

Sorry you're upset

and I apologize
for what just happened.

I'm not gonna try
to sell you another fish.

- Okay, thank you.

- But what are your feelings
on gerbils?

- No, there's no way
I'm spending more money.

- Come on, Mom. He's so cute.
- [sighs]

- Yeah, come on, Mom.
Come on, Mom.

- Oh. We can't afford it.

- Oh.
I guess you don't love me?

- Oh, no, Tom.
Do not make sad Tom face.

- You're still a good mom.
Some mothers just care

about money more
than their child's happiness.

[gerbil squeaking]
- Fine!

What's the cheapest gerbil
you've got?

- That would be
a senior gerbil for $75.

- $75?
Are you out of your mind?

- I'm not. Casey has issues,
but I'm doing fine.

- Ugh. You know what?
Fine. Wrap him up.

- Um, we don't say

"wrap them up"
like it's a burrito.

- Casey, I've got this.

At Pet Depot, we happily
wrap up all the animals.

[toilet flushes]

- All right, Larry,
play time's over.

Take a load off. Take a nap.

Make yourself comfortable.
Let's circle back later.

- Hey kid, is your mom around?

That toilet
is completely destroyed.

- You know, she doesn't talk
to plumbers any more.

She told me to-to tell you
to shut up and fix the toilet.

- What's this?
- My dad was a plumber.

It's a sore subject.
- Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, now I know
who we're dealing with here.

- Whoa! Who's this
cute little guy?

- My gerbil, Larry. He's 82.

- Hi, Larry.
What a cutie you are.

- Isn't he cute?
- Yeah, very cute!

Well, this is a little surprise
for me in my day.

- I love him.
- Hi, Larry!

Too bad you have
to live your life in captivity.

You're like a little prisoner,
aren't ya, Larry?

- Prisoner? What's this?

- What'd ya do?
What crime did you do?

- No. He's my pet gerbil.

- I'm just saying his cage
is like a prison.

- Nah, nah, nah. They call
this the "Deluxe Cabana."

It's like he's on vacation.

- When you go on vacation,
where do you--where do you go?

A little room?

- We don't--I don't go
in a little room, no.

- Got'cha, got'cha, got'cha.

You know, I'm just
a simple plumber, "shut up

and get in the bathroom,"
but if you ask me,

we don't have the right
to treat animals as property.

- Well, you know,
he was on sale, so--

- You think selling
a living creature,

does that sound
morally fine to you?

I don't know what your morals
are in this house.

- Selling creatures?

Yeah, you can buy gerbils.
People do that, right?

- Hmm. How would you like
to live in a little teeny cage?

- To be honest, I think I would
thrive in that environment.

- H-how about we take him
for a little spin then?

- What do you mean?
- How about you

pretend you're Larry
for one minute?

- No. Aren't you here
to fix the toilet?

What's happening?
Oh, no. I don't want to get--

No, I'm not getting in there.
No, no.

Please.
- Come on. Hop in here.

- No, get back in the bathroom.
This is too much now.

- Come on. It'll be fun.

Pretend you're Larry.
- This is getting weird.

- [low voice] Come on, just
get in there. It'll be fun.

- That's not
a reassuring voice.

Oh! Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- Ah, there we go.

- Did you lock the door?
What's happening?

- If I could change
one young person's mind,

I've done my good deed
for the day.

And I always do my good deed
for the day.

- I think you oversold
how much fun this was gonna be.

You're not leaving, are you?
What's happening out there?

[knocking on door]
Larry, what's he doing?

- Hi, uh, I need to reschedule
my neck rub.

My son's been missing
for an insane amount of hours.

And it just feels weird
to get a massage right now.

- Mom! Let me out!
- Tom? Are you in there?

- Mom, where you been?
Oh, my God.

- Oh, there you are.
- How long was I in there?

- I haven't seen you
for six hours.

I thought you were kidnapped.
- Oh.

You didn't call
the police, or anything or?

- They do recommend you wait
24 hours.

It's what they say
on all the shows.

- I don't know if that's
the case, but--

- I was worried though.
- Anyway, listen.

I did some soul searching.
I think we got to let Larry go.

- Let him go?
Are you on cocaine, Tom?

- Cocaine? No. What do you do?
How do you--

- We paid a lot
of money for him.

Plus, he's a member
of the family.

With your dad gone,
Larry's the man of the house.

- Wait. Larry's the man
of the house? Not me?

- No.
Larry's a lot older than you.

- All right, fine. Larry stays.
- "All right, fine's"

not gonna cut it.
Raise your right hand.

We're gonna do
a promise pledge.

- What do I say?

- I swear to my mom--

- That I will not set
Larry free.

- I will not set Larry free.

- I will keep him in this house
as the man of the house.

And if I do not,
then my mother will die.

I pledge on Larry's life. Amen.

- I'm not gonna say that,
but you have my word.

[thunder rumbles]

- [muttering] Larry.
Oh, no. Oh.

Slave. Sorry.
Prison. Cage. Prisoner.

- Who gave you the moral
authority to enslave me?

[squeaking]

You get me out of this God
forsaken cage now!

- Larry! Larry! Ahhh!

All right,
so much for the pledge.

That's just not gonna happen.

- Tom, what's going on, man?

I know you guys
got money problems

but there's literally a rat
in your jacket.

- That's not a rat.
It's my gerbil, Larry.

I'm gonna set him free

at the school today.
- Set him free?

- I just want to let him
know the taste of freedom.

I'm gonna let him go
on the soccer field.

Turn him loose.
- The soccer field?

Tom, do you see cleats
on this guy?

- Cleats? On Larry? No.

- Do you see colorful
Umbro shorts?

- I don't.
- Exactly.

You need to leave him
in the wilderness.

He's a wild animal.

- Nelson's right.
- Here we go.

- Gerbils are direct
descendants of wolves, Tom.

- They're not little wolves.
- Tom, there are two things

I know:
buses and rodents.

- Okay.
- This guy's an apex predator.

He needs an ecosystem where he
can thrive and hunt and kill.

- Oh. Okay.

So where's the wilderness
in Central Jersey?

- Behind the TJ Maxx
is perfect.

[percussive music]

Sorry, kids.
Emergency pit stop.

Tom needs to hop out
and poop real quick.

- No. Pee. I've gotta pee.
Why would you say that?

- You need all the time
you can get.

- He's right.
I got to take a quick dump.

- Tom, you're gonna make
everybody late for school!

- Just give me,
like, a half hour.

- Why now? We're, like,
two minutes from school!

- Hey, what can I say?

I prefer the woods.
I can't hold it.

I need some privacy
and some time.

[bell rings]

- [clapping]
Okay, little angels.

As you know,
this weekend is our big--

- Hey, Tom?
- Hey.

- Are you okay?
'Cause there've been a lot

of high profile
pooping incidents recently.

- Oh, I wasn't really--
That was a decoy.

I did a good deed.
I set my gerbil free.

- Hm?
- To live in the wilderness.

- What?
- In the woods behind TJ Maxx.

- Tom, gerbils
are domesticated pets.

Without food or water,
he'll die!

- What do you mean?
He's like a wolf.

He's like an apex predator,
I was told.

- What's their prey?

Little pellets
that come in a bag?

- Excuse me, you two.
Is there something

more important
going on than syncopation?

- Tom's gerbil's in the woods
behind TJ Maxx

and if we don't find him now,
he's gonna die!

- Your gerbil is on the loose?
- I'm on it.

I'll blast out
a community alert.

Tom, what's the reward?
- Oh, just put down a dollar.

My mom has money problems.
- No, no. That's not enough.

Um, I'm gonna put in 10,000!

- 10,000? No, no, no!
- Done. Let's go.

- Done?
- A 10 G gerbil!

- No, we--we never established
the 10 G's.

- Are you kidding me?
Let's go find that gerbil!

- Loser, swipe.
Fake hair, swipe.

Fingered me
in a parking lot, swipe.

"$10,000 reward
for missing elderly gerbil

in woods behind TJ Maxx."
Son of a bitch.

[tires squeal]

[dramatic music]

[children shouting anxiously]

[squeaking]

- Okay, everyone.
Welcome to the manhunt.

I really appreciate
you coming out.

As a very wise plumber
once told me,

"Every life is precious."

[tires screech,
pop music playing]

- Hi, everyone. Attention! Hi.
Hello.

I'm Tom's mom.
I'm in control here.

And to clarify,
there's no reward.

That was a joke.

- A joke? What happened
to the ten grand?

- I'm gonna get fired

'cause I helped you search
for this gerbil!

- I'm gonna leave.
- Okay, fine.

For argument's sake,
let's say there's a reward.

You'll get $10,000.
Of my own money.

Now, I'm gonna have Tom,

my son here,
explain who we're looking for.

- Thanks, Ma.
Well, he's of average weight.

And average height.
Average gerbil height.

Standard gerbil color.
In the beige family.

- Yeah, that doesn't help.
- All right, he's elderly.

So when you search,
it's important that you yell,

"Here, sweet baby Larry!"

- So we're just looking
for a nondescript animal

in a large wooded area
while we're screaming,

"Here, sweet baby Larry."
- Oh, last thing.

You need to cut up
some sliced pears and say,

"Who's ready for din din?"

I know it's a lot.

- Now, please,

can we get serious
and go find that gerbil?

[indistinct chatter]

- Tom, we need to find
Larry ourselves

or it's coming out
of your college fund.

- Ugh. You're not great
at pep talks.

♪ ♪

- Sweet baby Larry!

- Larry! Larry, Larry, Larry!

- Here, sweet Larry.
- Who's ready for din din?

[overlapping "Larry"]

- Tom, it's been two hours

and we've gone through
five pounds of pears.

- We can't give up.
We can't give up.

- Oh, my gosh! Guys!

I think I found
sweet baby Larry.

[squeaking]

- That's amazing!
Hold on to him! I'm on my way!

- I'm gonna get $10,000 rewa--
Ow!

- I got him, people!
The gerbil is safe.

And I just saved 10 G's!

- Ah! Great job, Mom!

Ah, it's so good
to have Larry back.

- This is amazing.
What a happy ending!

- Everyone, over here!
He's alive.

Larry, say thank you
to the crowd.

[cheers and applause]

- Ahhh!

Oh, son of a bitch hawk!
[hawk caws]

- Maybe I'm just not cut out
to be a pet owner.

- I tried to warn you.
Do not talk to plumbers.

You talk to a plumber,
the next thing you know

a hawk's flying off
with your gerbil.

- ♪ Remember
there's more road ♪

♪ And places to go ♪

♪ Patterns to contemplate ♪

♪ More people to fornicate ♪

♪ And remember
there's a lot of good omens ♪

♪ Supplying the proof ♪

♪ That our life
is the best joke ever told ♪

♪ Remember it's a joke
and leave it alone ♪

♪ Let go and try to be
always abiding ♪

♪ Remember if there's
one good reason for dying ♪

♪ The sweet silver lining ♪

♪ Through you she lives on ♪

♪ And therein lies a truth
we can sip when we want ♪

♪ Disciples of the flow,
we can float anywhere ♪

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