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1
00:00:03,345 --> 00:00:05,705
[bell rings]
2
00:00:08,283 --> 00:00:09,853
- Tom, take this the right way,
3
00:00:09,918 --> 00:00:12,748
but I'ma put some feelers out
for a new lab partner.
4
00:00:12,854 --> 00:00:14,264
- Why, you're not happy
with the volcano?
5
00:00:14,356 --> 00:00:15,856
- No,
it look like a pile of manure!
6
00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:17,394
It don't even erupt.
- You know what?
7
00:00:17,459 --> 00:00:18,559
I grabbed some
extra stuff from home.
8
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,627
Let's see if this works.
9
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,258
- What you got? What you got?
10
00:00:21,363 --> 00:00:23,533
- We got blackberry brandy,
windshield washer fluid,
11
00:00:23,598 --> 00:00:25,568
and mountain breeze
air freshener.
12
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:26,974
- Okay.
- That's gotta burn, right?
13
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:28,368
- We can work with this.
- Right?
14
00:00:28,436 --> 00:00:29,866
- Put these on.
- Nice.
15
00:00:29,938 --> 00:00:31,308
- I'll stand
at a safe distance.
16
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,866
You start dumping things
until it explodes.
17
00:00:32,941 --> 00:00:34,481
- Why am I doing all the work
on this team?
18
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,476
I built the volcano.
- Tom, we've been over this.
19
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,278
I'm the scientist.
You're the unskilled laborer.
20
00:00:39,381 --> 00:00:41,151
Now start dumping.
- Okay, step back.
21
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,919
Let me show you
how science works.
22
00:00:42,984 --> 00:00:45,154
A couple fluid ounces of this.
23
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,553
Brandy.
24
00:00:46,621 --> 00:00:48,561
That's weird.
It's not erupting.
25
00:00:48,623 --> 00:00:50,463
- Here, here.
Let's do this the Nelson way.
26
00:00:50,558 --> 00:00:52,288
Oh. Whoa.
- Oh, no! Oh, no, flames!
27
00:00:52,394 --> 00:00:53,764
Oh, no, what's happening?
Oh, no!
28
00:00:53,828 --> 00:00:55,498
Everybody run!
Run for your lives!
29
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,327
We're all gonna die!
30
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,473
- Is nobody gonna put out
the stupid volcano thing--
31
00:01:01,569 --> 00:01:03,639
[scoffs]
Okay. I guess I'll do it.
32
00:01:04,973 --> 00:01:07,513
[applause]
33
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,279
[horn blares]
- Hey, hey, kids.
34
00:01:09,344 --> 00:01:11,684
Your principal called me in
to talk about fire safety.
35
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,180
Now, I know I'm not supposed
to curse in front of you,
36
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:16,022
but who knows what a pussy is?
37
00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,817
- Um, a person like Tom?
- What?
38
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,190
- Exactly. Come here, buddy.
This little guy right here.
39
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:22,859
- Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- He saw the flames.
40
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:23,928
- Oh, no--
- And he ran.
41
00:01:23,992 --> 00:01:25,192
- You got it all wrong.
42
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:26,593
I ran to get
the fire extinguisher.
43
00:01:26,661 --> 00:01:28,031
I'm a hero.
- You fled the scene.
44
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,659
- I fled out of bravery
to save everyone.
45
00:01:29,764 --> 00:01:31,104
I fled to save.
46
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,496
- You think that's
what Superman does?
47
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,040
You think Superman flies away
for a bit
48
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:35,465
and then comes back to save?
49
00:01:35,537 --> 00:01:36,707
- I'm sure he does
all kind of things.
50
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,365
- Horrible person. Look at him.
51
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:41,943
Yasmine here, she ran
to the flames and saved lives.
52
00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:43,880
Hero.
[applause]
53
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,109
- Guys, come on, we--
54
00:01:46,181 --> 00:01:47,621
all right,
tell the dog to relax.
55
00:01:47,682 --> 00:01:49,782
She literally poured
iced tea on a volcano.
56
00:01:49,851 --> 00:01:51,291
- Excuse me?
57
00:01:51,353 --> 00:01:53,123
- I'm just saying,
hero might be a strong word.
58
00:01:53,188 --> 00:01:54,558
I mean, let's--
- Where I come from,
59
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,856
we have respect
for first responders.
60
00:01:56,958 --> 00:01:58,958
- I don't know if I'd call her
a first responder. She's--
61
00:01:59,027 --> 00:02:00,327
- Now you're
being disrespectful.
62
00:02:00,395 --> 00:02:01,955
You gotta leave the truck area.
63
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,300
- She took two steps.
64
00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:04,625
I don't wanna leave
the truck area.
65
00:02:04,699 --> 00:02:05,569
[dog growling]
66
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,837
- Say you're sorry,
67
00:02:06,901 --> 00:02:08,371
and then get
the fuck outta here.
68
00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:10,910
- How is there no teacher
out here to supervise us?
69
00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:13,680
- Tom, before you
do these things,
70
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:16,642
you need to ask yourself,
how will this affect Nelson?
71
00:02:16,711 --> 00:02:18,081
- I know. I shouldn't have run.
72
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:20,079
I shouldn't have
run and screeched.
73
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:23,021
- Come on, you old piece
of pain in the tush!
74
00:02:23,084 --> 00:02:24,854
Ah, sorry for
the language kids,
75
00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:26,589
but I can't get
this thing into gear.
76
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,718
Mother-bleeping C-word!
Stupid B-hole bus.
77
00:02:29,824 --> 00:02:32,594
Get that heinie into gear,
you piece of caca!
78
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,264
- I don't think these
kid-friendly curses
79
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,732
are really landing.
80
00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:38,500
- Ill rip your ding-a-ling off,
you GD bus!
81
00:02:38,566 --> 00:02:41,196
[bus grinding]
82
00:02:41,269 --> 00:02:42,769
Okay, kids, stand back.
83
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:46,041
I'm igniting
a common safety flare.
84
00:02:46,107 --> 00:02:48,237
- Whoa.
- Whoa, no need to panic, Tom!
85
00:02:48,343 --> 00:02:50,953
- Panic? I-I literally said
whoa in a deadpan voice.
86
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,176
- No, Tom panicked.
87
00:02:52,247 --> 00:02:53,617
- I didn't panic.
I'm not panicking.
88
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,875
- Don't flee the scene, Tom.
[laughter]
89
00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:57,250
- This is the opposite
of fleeing.
90
00:02:57,352 --> 00:02:58,892
I'm literally standing here.
91
00:02:58,953 --> 00:03:00,623
- Okay, kids,
you stay here by the bus.
92
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:01,962
Try not to get shot.
93
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,787
Tom, hold this flare.
Come over here.
94
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,792
- Okay, more fire. What's up?
95
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:06,964
- Here's the deal.
96
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,632
I need a new bus.
- Okay.
97
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,530
- And you need an opportunity
to look like a hero.
98
00:03:11,599 --> 00:03:13,369
- I do need that.
99
00:03:13,435 --> 00:03:14,735
- So tomorrow morning,
100
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:17,643
we fake an emergency
on the school bus.
101
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:18,939
- Fake emergency? No.
102
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,980
- Picture this:
the bus explodes.
103
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,236
You come running in.
104
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:23,480
- I don't like to run.
105
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,648
- You haul my ass
out of the bus.
106
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,317
Everyone will think
you're a hero,
107
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,815
and I'll have a new vehicle.
108
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,487
- That sounds abnormally dicey.
- Trust me.
109
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,986
I know a guy
who could rig it all up.
110
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,658
I mean, we're good.
111
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,956
- Wow, you know a guy who does
fake school bus explosions?
112
00:03:37,058 --> 00:03:37,988
That's amazing.
113
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,793
[doorbell rings]
114
00:03:39,894 --> 00:03:41,604
- Oh, what's up, player?
I remember you.
115
00:03:41,663 --> 00:03:43,433
- This is the guy? Glenn?
- Hell yeah.
116
00:03:43,498 --> 00:03:45,168
- Oh, you know each other?
- You don't remember
117
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:46,966
he sold me drugs
and I shoved them up my butt
118
00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:48,838
and there was a whole scandal?
- Yes!
119
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,407
- Anyway, so you know
what you're doing here?
120
00:03:50,472 --> 00:03:53,172
You can help
with the fake fire and smoke?
121
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,344
- Does a cat have six tits?
- Six tits?
122
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,013
I have no idea.
Not a cat owner.
123
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,612
- Boom.
- Oh, wow. Look at that.
124
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,650
- Worked on a Michael Bay
picture back in the day.
125
00:04:00,748 --> 00:04:02,278
So I know my way
around special effects.
126
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:03,520
- This is impressive stuff.
127
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:04,648
You rigged
all these explosions?
128
00:04:04,752 --> 00:04:06,092
- Hell yeah, dude.
129
00:04:06,154 --> 00:04:07,524
Renaissance man and shit,
you know what I'm saying?
130
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,092
I'm all the ninja turtles
wrapped into one.
131
00:04:09,157 --> 00:04:11,187
- He's a wizard, Tom.
- You know what's up.
132
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,032
So anyway,
here's the plan, dawg.
133
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,528
I'll rig the bus
with harmless movie smoke.
134
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,930
- Nice.
- And on my cue,
135
00:04:16,998 --> 00:04:18,528
the driver screams,
"Run for your lives.
136
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,603
This bitch is gonna blow."
That's what's up.
137
00:04:20,668 --> 00:04:22,538
- I question some
of the dialogue, but--
138
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,007
- Anyway, so then Tom says,
"Not on my watch.
139
00:04:25,106 --> 00:04:26,466
First responder
coming through."
140
00:04:26,541 --> 00:04:27,881
- I like that.
141
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,476
- Then Tom drags you out,
and I'll be playing
142
00:04:29,544 --> 00:04:31,284
some type of Aerosmith song
in the background.
143
00:04:31,346 --> 00:04:34,376
Boom. Credits roll.
Any questions, gentlemen?
144
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,982
- Zero questions.
145
00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:37,350
- Let's just hope for the best.
146
00:04:37,452 --> 00:04:40,392
[dramatic music]
147
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,518
- This is Cobra,
your eyes on the ground, over.
148
00:04:42,624 --> 00:04:44,834
- This is Stallion.
Radio check, over.
149
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:47,063
- This is Tom.Radio check, over.
150
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,031
- Tom, use the code names,remember?
151
00:04:49,130 --> 00:04:51,500
I'm Cobra. He's Stallion.
You're Louise.
152
00:04:51,566 --> 00:04:53,026
- I feel like I got
the worst nickname.
153
00:04:53,134 --> 00:04:55,344
Can I say that?
- Please identify yourself.
154
00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:58,843
- Louise in position, over.
- Thank you.
155
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,477
All right, guys, it's go time.
156
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:02,742
And in the off chance
the bus does actually explode
157
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,854
and everyone dies,
that's my bad.
158
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,983
I apologize in advance.
159
00:05:07,048 --> 00:05:09,548
[machine beeping]
160
00:05:09,651 --> 00:05:12,721
- Help, I'm stuck!
The bus is gonna blow!
161
00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:15,390
- Oh, my God, someone's gotta
help the bus driver.
162
00:05:15,490 --> 00:05:16,990
- Everyone, relax.
163
00:05:17,058 --> 00:05:19,158
You're in good hands.
First responder's on the scene.
164
00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:22,357
- ♪ When a hero comes along ♪
165
00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:25,430
♪ And saves a life today ♪
166
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,343
- Tom just ran into the bus!
167
00:05:27,402 --> 00:05:28,942
- Is this really happening?
168
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,607
- Who is playing this music?
It is fucking perfect!
169
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,007
- ♪ When a hero comes along ♪
170
00:05:35,076 --> 00:05:36,906
♪ You will not forget ♪
171
00:05:37,011 --> 00:05:39,411
- He's alive!
Are you seeing this?
172
00:05:39,514 --> 00:05:42,024
- Whoo, this little guy
saved my life.
173
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:43,623
Thank you, Tom.
[cheers and applause]
174
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,518
- You know what, Tom?
You're a hero.
175
00:05:45,587 --> 00:05:47,187
- Please, please.
Don't call me a hero.
176
00:05:47,255 --> 00:05:49,555
It's just what I do.
I run towards fire.
177
00:05:49,624 --> 00:05:51,594
I run towards fire and flames.
178
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,901
- Look at that article.
- Thanks, Mom.
179
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:56,433
This--this is amazing.
180
00:05:56,531 --> 00:05:57,971
- Well, I wanted to treat you
to something nice.
181
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,366
This is big.
I'm, like, an A-list mom now.
182
00:06:00,435 --> 00:06:03,535
- But the hero's mom is usually
not the focus of the story.
183
00:06:03,605 --> 00:06:04,965
- Well, it should be
184
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,543
'cause the hero had to come
out of the mom.
185
00:06:06,608 --> 00:06:08,808
- Hey, hope you folks
enjoyed your meal.
186
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,880
We are so grateful
for what your son did.
187
00:06:11,946 --> 00:06:13,716
Can I have everyone's
attention, please?
188
00:06:13,781 --> 00:06:14,881
- What are you--what are you--
189
00:06:14,949 --> 00:06:16,989
- My dad, God rest his soul,
190
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,145
was a first responder
like this young man here.
191
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,455
He performed many heroic acts.
192
00:06:22,557 --> 00:06:23,957
Saved an old lady
in a kayak once.
193
00:06:24,058 --> 00:06:25,388
- That's amazing.
194
00:06:25,460 --> 00:06:27,560
- Pulled multiple cats
from trees--
195
00:06:27,629 --> 00:06:29,159
- Multiple cats?
196
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:32,774
- But he tragically died while
trying to deep fry a turkey.
197
00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:33,844
- Oh, what a story.
198
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,335
- So as a tribute to him,
199
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,966
we'd like to offer Tom
free meals for life.
200
00:06:39,073 --> 00:06:40,013
[applause]
- Wow.
201
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,778
- That's amazing. Thank you.
202
00:06:41,843 --> 00:06:43,953
- This is for you, Dad.
- Oh, my God.
203
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,582
Can my mom eat free too?
- Well...
204
00:06:45,647 --> 00:06:47,247
- Yes, we'll extend it
to the whole family.
205
00:06:47,315 --> 00:06:49,575
- Oh, wow!
How about Nelson? Nelson too?
206
00:06:49,651 --> 00:06:51,151
- Is he family?
Who's this Nelson?
207
00:06:51,252 --> 00:06:52,622
- He's more of a friend,
but, you know--
208
00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:54,087
- We'll discuss it.
- He's in.
209
00:06:54,155 --> 00:06:55,855
We'll make it a friends
and family deal.
210
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,527
We'll even name a dish
after you.
211
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:58,955
Anything you want.
212
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,597
- Something cheap.
Like, a hot dog, maybe?
213
00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:02,332
- How about something fancy?
214
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:05,330
Why don't you carve a bust
of Tom's head out of meat...
215
00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:07,203
- Wait, what?
- Drench it in gravy,
216
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,502
and then light it on fire.
217
00:07:08,603 --> 00:07:10,973
- That sounds
insanely expensive.
218
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,339
- In memory of Dad,
consider it done.
219
00:07:13,441 --> 00:07:15,541
[cheers and applause]
220
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,553
- Kids, I hope you're enjoying
the new B3000
221
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:21,316
and the fact
that Tom saved my life.
222
00:07:21,382 --> 00:07:23,382
Tom, say a few words.
223
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:26,194
- Hi, glad I could save
everyone's lives
224
00:07:26,287 --> 00:07:27,557
and get us a sweet new bus.
225
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,215
I know I put
Yasmine's rescue to shame,
226
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,894
but hey, it's not
a competition, so thank you.
227
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,733
- I heard you get free food
at the diner.
228
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,398
Can we get in on that?
- Sorry, Hector.
229
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,066
It's just friends
and family, so...
230
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,295
- Wait, are we not friends?
- Friends?
231
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,397
I mean, more bus mates.
232
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:44,312
- So we're all just
nameless faces on a bus?
233
00:07:44,372 --> 00:07:45,472
Wow.
[all booing]
234
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:46,740
- Oh, hey. Stop. Stop.
235
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,981
- Eat this, Tom!
236
00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:50,413
- Tom, you're losing
the crowd, man.
237
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,811
Tell 'em what they wanna hear.
238
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:53,479
- All right, you know what?
Fine.
239
00:07:53,548 --> 00:07:55,678
If you go to the diner,
just tell 'em Tom sent you.
240
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,090
[cheers and applause]
241
00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:00,085
- Hi, I'd like to order
the Tom Special,
242
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,488
and can I get that for free?
243
00:08:01,556 --> 00:08:03,686
'Cause my best friend
Tom sent me.
244
00:08:03,758 --> 00:08:05,588
- Can I get a flaming
meat things for free?
245
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,233
Yeah, I'm friends
with the little dude
246
00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:08,898
who did the thing with the bus.
247
00:08:08,996 --> 00:08:10,726
Yeah, I'm also friends
with Michael Bay, no big deal.
248
00:08:10,832 --> 00:08:14,402
- Hi, I'm friends with Tom
and I'm also a first responder.
249
00:08:14,502 --> 00:08:15,772
I put out a volcano.
250
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,740
And so I'd like
a Tom Special for free.
251
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,444
So that's a dozen Tom Specials.
252
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:23,913
All for free.
- Yep.
253
00:08:24,011 --> 00:08:25,451
- Since these people
are friends and family.
254
00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:28,046
- And Mountain Dews
all around, baby.
255
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,446
- [sighs]
- Thank you.
256
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,390
You guys are very generous.
257
00:08:31,452 --> 00:08:32,952
Kinda like royalty
in this place.
258
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,864
The king of the diner.
They treat me nice.
259
00:08:34,922 --> 00:08:38,132
- I can't believe this weasel
keeps coming in.
260
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,756
He brought ten friends, Pete.
261
00:08:39,861 --> 00:08:41,901
- She talking about me?
- Well, we did make the offer.
262
00:08:41,963 --> 00:08:45,403
- He's double-fisting the most
expensive things on the menu.
263
00:08:45,466 --> 00:08:46,926
- Double-fisting?
- Calm down, honey.
264
00:08:47,034 --> 00:08:49,044
- Let's just hope
he unexpectedly dies
265
00:08:49,103 --> 00:08:50,303
or moves out of town.
266
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,805
- Wow, Tom. Oof.
267
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,876
Man, you really screwing over
these nice people.
268
00:08:53,941 --> 00:08:57,211
- She's much friendlier
when she's taking the orders.
269
00:08:57,278 --> 00:08:59,278
- I can't believe this is free!
270
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:00,650
10 pounds of meat
271
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:02,318
carved into the shape
of your son's head?
272
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,987
- Hey, those are the perks
of having a hero son.
273
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,156
[door clicks]
- Oh, hey, Ma.
274
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,485
What the hell is going on here?
275
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,429
- I started
a Free Food Snack Club
276
00:09:10,491 --> 00:09:11,931
for some of the moms.
277
00:09:11,993 --> 00:09:13,663
- What? All right.
You know what? That does it.
278
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,561
We need to cut this off.
Everybody out.
279
00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:18,270
Party's over.
Donate the meat to somebody.
280
00:09:18,332 --> 00:09:19,972
- Ladies, excuse me
for a second.
281
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,397
I'm gonna go talk to my son.
282
00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:23,339
He seems to be
having a breakdown.
283
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,068
[whispering]
Hey, what are you doing?
284
00:09:25,139 --> 00:09:27,739
- Cindy, can you cut off
a chunk of Tom's face for me?
285
00:09:28,576 --> 00:09:30,806
- You're gonna come in here
and boss your mom? Uh-uh.
286
00:09:30,912 --> 00:09:33,012
- I just don't wanna take
advantage of this poor couple.
287
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,524
I mean--
- That's real sweet.
288
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:35,745
Is that what you want me
to tell you right now?
289
00:09:35,817 --> 00:09:37,347
You're a good person.
290
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,852
- I don't want to be the reason
they go out of business.
291
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,963
- Ugh, all right.
You know what? Fine.
292
00:09:41,022 --> 00:09:43,322
If you want to end this,
I have a solution.
293
00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:47,357
Ah, thanks for seeing us.
294
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:50,002
That blurb you wrote
on my son was very nice.
295
00:09:50,097 --> 00:09:51,967
- Well, you got a very brave
young man here.
296
00:09:52,033 --> 00:09:53,703
- Tell her
what you wanna do, Tom.
297
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,301
- You know, a lot of people
are taking advantage
298
00:09:55,369 --> 00:09:56,969
of the diner's free food offer.
299
00:09:57,038 --> 00:09:59,808
So I just wanna put out
a county-wide alert that says,
300
00:09:59,874 --> 00:10:01,384
"Tom wants you
to knock it off."
301
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:05,176
- Well, it's no bus rescue,
but it is a nice gesture.
302
00:10:05,279 --> 00:10:06,779
I'll put something
in the next issue.
303
00:10:06,848 --> 00:10:07,978
It'll be out in two weeks.
304
00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:09,379
- Oh, no,
we can't wait two weeks.
305
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,054
No, these people
are hemorrhaging money.
306
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,292
- I'm sorry.
The paper's biweekly.
307
00:10:13,354 --> 00:10:14,994
And I know
biweekly is confusing,
308
00:10:15,056 --> 00:10:17,056
but it's the type
where it's two times a month.
309
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,858
- You know what?
They'll be fine for two weeks.
310
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,190
Tom wants to do
the right thing,
311
00:10:20,294 --> 00:10:22,134
but he also wants that blurb.
312
00:10:22,196 --> 00:10:24,666
My boy likes his blurbs,
you know?
313
00:10:24,732 --> 00:10:28,042
[keys clacking]
- [sighs]
314
00:10:28,135 --> 00:10:29,635
Pete, this has gone too far.
315
00:10:29,704 --> 00:10:30,744
We have to rescind the offer.
316
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,738
- Amanda, I gave Tom my word.
317
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,380
I can't just dishonor
my father like that.
318
00:10:34,475 --> 00:10:35,735
- I'm going through
these receipts.
319
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,183
We're going out of business.
320
00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:38,575
- What do you mean,
we're going out business?
321
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,919
- Just the gravy is $15,000.
322
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,646
- I cannot rescind this offer,
Amanda.
323
00:10:44,719 --> 00:10:47,419
It's for my father, who died.
324
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,092
- [sighs]
If that's how you feel.
325
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,590
There's only one other option.
326
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,091
- Change the beef
to some type of hot dog meat?
327
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,164
- No, I was thinking
burn down the restaurant
328
00:10:55,229 --> 00:10:57,369
and collect
the insurance money.
329
00:10:57,431 --> 00:11:00,171
- Wow, you really
take things too far.
330
00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:03,038
- Tom, this is
your best blurb yet.
331
00:11:03,104 --> 00:11:05,114
- It's pretty good.
- Read it to me.
332
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,606
- "A local boy named Tom
has graciously declined
333
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,209
"to accept free food
at a local restaurant.
334
00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:14,779
"When asked if he sees himself
as a hero, Tom boasted,
335
00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,622
'Abso-freaking-lutely.
It's what I do.'"
336
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:20,618
- As a mom, this is what
it's all about, Tommy.
337
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,391
- This was worth the wait,
I gotta say.
338
00:11:22,456 --> 00:11:24,456
- [sobbing]
339
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,259
[thunder rumbling]
340
00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:29,531
Are you sure we can't
just refinance or something?
341
00:11:29,597 --> 00:11:31,127
- Pete,
I already started the fire.
342
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,602
Now is not the time.
[horn honks]
343
00:11:33,701 --> 00:11:35,771
- Hey.
- Hey, we're kinda busy here.
344
00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:38,070
- Oh, no, don't worry.
I'm not here for free food.
345
00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:39,639
I actually have great news.
346
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,780
- "Local hero graciously stops
accepting handouts,
347
00:11:41,876 --> 00:11:44,776
asks friends to repay diner
for free meals"?
348
00:11:44,879 --> 00:11:46,049
That's amazing!
349
00:11:46,113 --> 00:11:47,253
But why didn't
you tell us sooner?
350
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:48,815
- Oh, Tom wanted to get a blurb
351
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,616
in the local paper,
and it's biweekly.
352
00:11:50,718 --> 00:11:53,988
- It would have helped to have
this information sooner.
353
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,618
- Wait, what--what is that?
Is that smoke?
354
00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:57,933
- Tom, run in and get
the fire extinguisher.
355
00:11:57,992 --> 00:11:59,162
[smoke alarm beeping]
- Me? No.
356
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,730
- Of course you.
- Wait.
357
00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:02,555
- What happened
to your courage? Get in there!
358
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:03,930
- That was a bus.
This is a diner.
359
00:12:03,998 --> 00:12:05,328
It's a whole
different interface.
360
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,773
- Just go in there and save it
361
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,274
just like you saved
the school bus.
362
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:09,736
- I can't do it.
My mom simply won't allow it.
363
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:10,974
- I'm good with it.
364
00:12:11,072 --> 00:12:12,272
I wanna see you
in action, buddy.
365
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,180
- Mom, come on.
- I'll do it!
366
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,435
- Oh, no.
367
00:12:15,509 --> 00:12:17,809
- ♪ When a hero comes along ♪
368
00:12:17,912 --> 00:12:19,812
♪ And saves a life today ♪
369
00:12:19,914 --> 00:12:21,684
- They're playing my song.
That's my song.
370
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:24,752
- Out of my way, Tom.
- Whoa. Oh, this is not good.
371
00:12:24,819 --> 00:12:26,649
She's gonna die.
[fire extinguisher blows]
372
00:12:26,754 --> 00:12:29,364
- All good.
Just a small grease fire.
373
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,327
[applause]
- You are a hero.
374
00:12:32,426 --> 00:12:33,956
- Thank you. Thank you.
375
00:12:34,028 --> 00:12:36,198
- Not to be petty, but
technically, I responded first.
376
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:37,697
- What?
377
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,498
- Sure, I didn't do anything,
but I did respond.
378
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,040
At least give me credit
for that.
379
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,095
- ♪ Rememberthere's more road ♪
380
00:12:43,170 --> 00:12:45,170
♪ And places to go ♪
381
00:12:45,272 --> 00:12:47,312
♪ Patterns to contemplate ♪
382
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,135
♪ More people to fornicate ♪
383
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:52,280
♪ And rememberthere's a lot of good omens ♪
384
00:12:52,346 --> 00:12:53,946
♪ Supplying the proof ♪
385
00:12:54,015 --> 00:12:57,545
♪ That our lifeis the best joke ever told ♪
386
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:01,622
♪ Remember it's a jokeand leave it alone ♪
387
00:13:01,689 --> 00:13:05,729
♪ Let go and try to bealways abiding ♪
388
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:09,956
♪ Remember if there'sone good reason for dying ♪
389
00:13:10,031 --> 00:13:11,901
♪ The sweet silver lining ♪
390
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,139
♪ Through you she lives on ♪
391
00:13:14,201 --> 00:13:18,041
♪ And therein lies a truthwe can sip when we want ♪
392
00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:22,539
♪ Disciples of the flow,we can float anywhere ♪
393
00:13:22,589 --> 00:13:27,139
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