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1
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♪ ♪
2
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:08,034
- [sighs]
I'm not complaining, Tom,
3
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,703
but you clearly said,
"Come over.
4
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,101
I'm having a pool party."
5
00:00:11,169 --> 00:00:13,269
- I mean, pool, hose.
Same thing, Right?
6
00:00:13,338 --> 00:00:15,338
- There's no such thing
as a hose party.
7
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,810
I've never heard
of a hose party.
8
00:00:17,876 --> 00:00:19,876
- It's not a great turnout.
I mean, I'll admit that.
9
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,548
- Look, man, I might take off.
It's hard to picture
10
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,217
this party
taking a turn for the better.
11
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:24,545
- Yeah.
12
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,050
- Take off?
Oh, no, please, no, please.
13
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,221
[jolly music]
- [gasps] What is that?
14
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,189
Do you hear that?
15
00:00:28,286 --> 00:00:29,546
- Uh-oh.
- Ice cream man!
16
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,015
- All right, here we go.
I don't have money.
17
00:00:31,123 --> 00:00:32,863
Can I borrow?
- Sorry, Tom.
18
00:00:32,958 --> 00:00:34,228
With all due respect, man,
19
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:35,686
I just don't think
you're good for it.
20
00:00:35,794 --> 00:00:36,964
- You don't think
I'm good for the money?
21
00:00:37,029 --> 00:00:38,359
- Yeah.
- Dakota?
22
00:00:38,463 --> 00:00:39,833
- No, my mom would never
let me, she'd flip.
23
00:00:39,898 --> 00:00:41,468
- Please, she's wealthy.
She won't miss it.
24
00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:42,703
- Tom, she doesn't like you
and your quote "ilk,"
25
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:43,971
and you know that.
26
00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:45,296
- She doesn't like me
and my ilk?
27
00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:46,910
- She thinks I'm
at ballet right now.
28
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,465
- All right, you know what?
I'll hit up my mom.
29
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:49,680
I'll meet you there.
Tell the guy to wait.
30
00:00:49,741 --> 00:00:50,881
- I make no promises!
31
00:00:50,976 --> 00:00:52,536
- Let's go!
Let's go, baby!
32
00:00:52,644 --> 00:00:54,484
- Mom, real quick, I need
$1.25 for the ice cream man.
33
00:00:54,546 --> 00:00:56,146
Don't ask any questions.
Just give me the purse.
34
00:00:56,214 --> 00:00:57,684
Go, go, go!
35
00:00:57,749 --> 00:00:59,819
- What is this?
A bank robbery in the old west?
36
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,145
"Give me the purse?"
37
00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:02,649
- Mom, please,
this is an emergency.
38
00:01:02,721 --> 00:01:04,421
- Well, I'm sorry,
but we can't afford it.
39
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:06,733
- We can't afford $1.25?
Everybody can.
40
00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:09,425
- Except for us.
I gotta tell you something.
41
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:10,828
Come here
and sit on Mommy's lap.
42
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,596
- Sit on Mommy's lap?
- Yeah.
43
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:13,728
- I knew this wasn't gonna be
easy.
44
00:01:13,832 --> 00:01:14,932
It's never easy.
45
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,903
- Ice cream man.
My favorite person!
46
00:01:17,002 --> 00:01:18,202
I'll take a fudgsicle.
47
00:01:18,270 --> 00:01:19,570
- Oh, oh!
Me, too.
48
00:01:19,671 --> 00:01:21,011
Fudgy fudgy fudgy!
- No, me first, me first!
49
00:01:21,073 --> 00:01:22,673
- Whoa, whoa.
Right out of the gate,
50
00:01:22,741 --> 00:01:26,711
I need you guys to take
the energy down, like, 90%.
51
00:01:26,778 --> 00:01:28,108
- Why?
52
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,383
- All day long with the kids
and the excitement.
53
00:01:30,449 --> 00:01:32,519
I'm ready to blow
my brains out in here.
54
00:01:32,584 --> 00:01:34,124
- What?
Why are you so grouchy?
55
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,459
You've got the dream job.
- Here's the thing, Rambo.
56
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,555
- Rambo?
- What?
57
00:01:37,622 --> 00:01:39,462
- Life is a lot like ice cream.
58
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,588
It starts out sweet,
but then it gets sticky.
59
00:01:42,694 --> 00:01:43,604
- Oh.
60
00:01:43,695 --> 00:01:45,795
- [sighs]
And then you die.
61
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,297
- Wow.
- This is the worst
62
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,799
ice cream man banter
I've ever heard.
63
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,200
- What did you guys want?
64
00:01:50,268 --> 00:01:51,768
- I'm not even in the mood
for this anymore.
65
00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:53,140
- Was it a fudgsicle?
And what did you want?
66
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,908
- [sighs]
Okay.
67
00:01:54,973 --> 00:01:56,143
- Is the lap necessary?
68
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,911
- I need to know
if you're familiar
69
00:01:57,976 --> 00:02:00,406
with the phrase
"philandering rat."
70
00:02:00,479 --> 00:02:02,209
- It doesn't come up
too often, no.
71
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,080
- Um, hoo.
72
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,221
I've gotta tell you,
73
00:02:07,285 --> 00:02:09,615
your dad is not
on a business trip to London.
74
00:02:09,721 --> 00:02:11,761
- Okay.
What's he doing?
75
00:02:11,823 --> 00:02:13,963
- He's going to dance clubs.
76
00:02:14,059 --> 00:02:15,659
- Dance clubs.
What?
77
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,401
- With someone named Tina
in Myrtle Beach.
78
00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:18,502
She's a masseuse.
79
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,927
- Oh, that's a lot to take in.
80
00:02:20,999 --> 00:02:22,569
You know, that actually
makes more sense.
81
00:02:22,634 --> 00:02:24,074
I never knew why
they'd fly a plumber
82
00:02:24,136 --> 00:02:25,566
to London for a month.
83
00:02:25,637 --> 00:02:27,567
- I was highly adrenalized
when I made that lie up.
84
00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:29,009
- They wouldn't do it.
85
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,407
- If I'm in London,
and I want a plumber,
86
00:02:30,475 --> 00:02:31,735
I don't want some American guy.
87
00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:33,180
- It's a regional job,
in general.
88
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,648
- It was a terrible lie.
89
00:02:34,746 --> 00:02:35,976
There are not a lot
of international plumbers,
90
00:02:36,081 --> 00:02:37,351
and I panicked.
91
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:38,619
- So we're poor,
is what you're saying?
92
00:02:38,683 --> 00:02:39,993
- We're kind of poor now,
buddy,
93
00:02:40,085 --> 00:02:41,345
but I'm gonna make you
this promise.
94
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,623
- Okay.
- I promise you
95
00:02:43,688 --> 00:02:46,688
if you work hard, and you
earn that money for yourself,
96
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,762
you can buy
all the ice cream you want.
97
00:02:48,827 --> 00:02:51,197
- What's the--
what's the promise exactly?
98
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,366
You won't interfere
with me earning my own money?
99
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,095
- That is my vow to you.
100
00:02:55,934 --> 00:02:58,474
- If you're serious,
I can sell you the dinosaur
101
00:02:58,537 --> 00:03:01,367
and the machine that makes
fart noises for $1.50.
102
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,713
Just mull it over.
I'll be here if you need me.
103
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:07,049
- A garage sale?
What is this, the 1950s?
104
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,645
- 1950s?
No, what's going on?
105
00:03:08,713 --> 00:03:10,283
- You tell me, man.
You look pathetic out here.
106
00:03:10,348 --> 00:03:11,548
- Pathetic?
107
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,050
- I can't have my man, Tom,
out here--
108
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,221
- I've got the table,
I've got the sign.
109
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,689
I need to earn money,
110
00:03:15,787 --> 00:03:17,557
or this is going to be
the worst summer ever.
111
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,216
I can't even afford ice cream.
- Man, we gotta do a GoFundMe.
112
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,964
- GoFundMe?
What's that?
113
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,556
- You take some pictures and
write "Tom's Ice Cream Fund:
114
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,231
I'm too poor
to enjoy my summer."
115
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,399
Then, boom!
Money comes in.
116
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,668
- Just free money?
117
00:03:27,732 --> 00:03:29,132
- Free money!
Give me your phone.
118
00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:30,841
- I don't--
I don't have a phone.
119
00:03:30,902 --> 00:03:32,642
- Come on, Tom!
- Don't act surprised.
120
00:03:32,704 --> 00:03:34,244
- You still don't have a phone?
- I never got one.
121
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,909
- How are you gonna
make it in this world?
122
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,237
- I just run around and play.
- I've got two phones.
123
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,313
One of mine is for checking in
with my parents.
124
00:03:40,378 --> 00:03:41,848
This is for doing weird stuff.
125
00:03:41,913 --> 00:03:43,523
- We're using
the weird one then.
126
00:03:43,582 --> 00:03:45,082
- Yeah, let's take some pics.
Stand by the garbage can.
127
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,423
- Garbage?
No.
128
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:47,748
- Come on, man!
- All right, how's that?
129
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:48,923
- Come on,
slouch a little more.
130
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,090
- Slouch?
131
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,258
- When we write
this description,
132
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,756
people gotta feel sad for you.
133
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,258
- All right, how's this?
- Yes, baby, now we talking!
134
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,929
- You like what you're seeing?
135
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,557
- Yeah, I like what I'm seeing.
Hey, get in the trash can.
136
00:03:57,662 --> 00:04:00,502
- Get in the can?
- In the can.
137
00:04:00,565 --> 00:04:01,895
- How's that?
- This is it, baby.
138
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,600
- You like this?
- I love it.
139
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,272
Take that chicken
and smear it on your face.
140
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,440
- This is going to make people
buy ice cream for me?
141
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,609
- Nibble.
I need a nibble.
142
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:09,667
- Nibble?
No.
143
00:04:09,741 --> 00:04:11,111
- I need you to appear hungry.
144
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,509
- Like I'm hungry?
- Like you're hungry,
145
00:04:12,577 --> 00:04:14,907
but you gotta
save some for later.
146
00:04:15,013 --> 00:04:16,953
- So I'm just--I'm starving,
but I'm just nibbling to--
147
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,178
- Now look up.
148
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,190
Make prayer hands.
There you go.
149
00:04:20,252 --> 00:04:22,922
We finna make some money now.
- Just make me look good.
150
00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:25,621
If my mom sees this, she wants
me to look presentable.
151
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:26,894
[somber music]
152
00:04:26,958 --> 00:04:28,928
- Tom is sleeping
in a dumpster?
153
00:04:29,027 --> 00:04:31,357
- Eating old chicken
from garbage cans?
154
00:04:31,429 --> 00:04:33,129
- He's working in a coal mine?
155
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,031
I didn't even know
they had those here.
156
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,970
- Oh, listen.
Not on my watch.
157
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:40,368
- Where's my wallet at?
- Not on my watch.
158
00:04:40,438 --> 00:04:41,908
- A street urchin?
159
00:04:41,973 --> 00:04:44,413
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.
160
00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:45,906
- Nelson?
161
00:04:45,977 --> 00:04:47,377
- Yo, what's up, man?
162
00:04:47,445 --> 00:04:48,605
- Nelson, I'm not happy.
163
00:04:48,713 --> 00:04:50,383
- Again?
What's going on?
164
00:04:50,448 --> 00:04:51,878
- What did you write
in the fundraiser?
165
00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:53,320
- Oh, man, just the basics.
166
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,448
You know, lack of funds,
et cetera, et cetera.
167
00:04:55,553 --> 00:04:56,493
- Lack of funds?
168
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:58,058
Did you maybe say that
169
00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:59,623
I'm an unbathed street urchin
170
00:04:59,724 --> 00:05:01,664
who sleeps in a dumpster
and eats leftover chicken?
171
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,330
- I might have slipped that in
just for effect.
172
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,459
- You might have slipped it in?
173
00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:06,603
- Before you get mad, look.
174
00:05:06,665 --> 00:05:08,065
Take a look at this tally.
175
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,403
- What's this?
- Six Gs!
176
00:05:10,468 --> 00:05:11,838
- Six Gs?
That's too many Gs.
177
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,307
We only asked
for "some ice cream money."
178
00:05:14,406 --> 00:05:15,936
- Yeah, this is
"some ice cream money."
179
00:05:16,007 --> 00:05:17,777
- No, Nelson.
We have to give it back.
180
00:05:17,842 --> 00:05:19,812
I mean, if you go
past the goal, you have to--
181
00:05:19,911 --> 00:05:22,181
- We can't give it back, man.
We could go to jail for fraud.
182
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,680
- You have
to give something back.
183
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,252
You gotta give at least
four Gs back.
184
00:05:25,317 --> 00:05:26,517
- Hey, Dad.
185
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,088
If you make extra money
on a fundraiser,
186
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,963
let's say, for ice cream,
do you get to keep it?
187
00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:31,021
- Of course.
188
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,192
Just spend the money
189
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,860
on "ice cream-related items."
190
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,189
- Ice cream-related items?
191
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,163
- Yeah, you know,
like cones and sprinkles.
192
00:05:37,262 --> 00:05:40,272
Anything that's
ice cream-related.
193
00:05:40,332 --> 00:05:41,802
- That's what I thought.
194
00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:43,696
- Honestly, from what
I've observed in my years,
195
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,042
this sounds like embezzlement.
196
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,706
- Embezzlement?
We kids, man.
197
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,665
That falls under the category
of "summertime hijinks."
198
00:05:49,774 --> 00:05:51,114
- Summertime hijinks.
199
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:52,606
All right,
that sounds like fun.
200
00:05:53,845 --> 00:05:55,475
- What do you think?
201
00:05:55,547 --> 00:05:57,147
We're going all ice cream or
we're gonna get some pudding?
202
00:05:57,215 --> 00:05:58,215
Or what--what do we--
- Spoons.
203
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,146
- Multiple spoons.
204
00:06:00,218 --> 00:06:01,318
- Hey.
- Multiple cups.
205
00:06:01,386 --> 00:06:02,716
- Hey, hello.
- Napkins.
206
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,191
- Ice cream as far
as the eye can see.
207
00:06:04,289 --> 00:06:05,489
- Hello, hi.
208
00:06:05,557 --> 00:06:06,557
- Hey, buddy.
209
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,158
Are you going to buy anything?
210
00:06:08,226 --> 00:06:10,156
- Tom, he wants to know
if we're gonna buy anything.
211
00:06:10,228 --> 00:06:11,628
- That makes me chuckle.
212
00:06:11,696 --> 00:06:13,396
- What are we not buying?
That's the question.
213
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,868
- Okay, I don't know
what's going on here,
214
00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:18,037
but I've got a line
of customers behind you, so--
215
00:06:18,136 --> 00:06:20,566
- You call those customers?
216
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,842
What you got?
Skittles?
217
00:06:21,906 --> 00:06:23,206
That's it?
218
00:06:23,308 --> 00:06:25,338
We real customers.
Those are small potatoes.
219
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:28,010
- Let's start with $6,000
worth of Klondike bars.
220
00:06:28,079 --> 00:06:29,479
- Wrap them up.
221
00:06:29,547 --> 00:06:32,677
- We don't keep that many
Klondike bars in stock.
222
00:06:32,751 --> 00:06:35,421
If you buy that whole shelf,
it's $40.
223
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,490
- Call someone.
- Call Klondike?
224
00:06:37,555 --> 00:06:38,915
- What, you scared?
225
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,534
Give me Klondike's number.
I'll call them.
226
00:06:40,592 --> 00:06:42,762
- I'm not scared
to call Klondike.
227
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,061
- This guy's scared to call.
228
00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:45,562
- This is such
a weird challenge
229
00:06:45,663 --> 00:06:47,003
from two children.
230
00:06:47,065 --> 00:06:48,565
- What part of six Gs
do you not understand?
231
00:06:48,666 --> 00:06:49,866
- I'm a cashier.
232
00:06:49,934 --> 00:06:51,444
It doesn't matter
how much money you have.
233
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:52,936
- Wait, whoa, whoa.
So you don't own the place?
234
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,608
- You don't own 7-Eleven?
- No!
235
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,576
Do I look like
an owner of anything?
236
00:06:57,675 --> 00:06:58,705
- I don't think
we've got a deal.
237
00:06:58,777 --> 00:07:00,277
I think we're at an impasse.
238
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,748
- Man, they don't make cashiers
like they used to.
239
00:07:02,514 --> 00:07:06,124
- Okay, so remember, Tom,
no matter how tough things get,
240
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,287
we always make time for church.
- Do we?
241
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,746
We've literally
never done this.
242
00:07:09,854 --> 00:07:11,124
- Since your dad
took off with the floozy,
243
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,622
this is our PR move.
- Oh.
244
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,534
- Single mom with her son.
It's a classic.
245
00:07:14,592 --> 00:07:18,302
- But we sing the songs
and say the prayers or we--
246
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,866
- When it's written
in the book, you sing it.
247
00:07:20,932 --> 00:07:22,432
If you don't know it, just go:
248
00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:24,774
♪ Ah, na, na, na, na, na ♪
249
00:07:24,869 --> 00:07:26,639
- Oh, okay.
It's just for show.
250
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,038
- Mm-hmm, yep.
- We're mouthing it.
251
00:07:28,106 --> 00:07:30,536
- Hi, Tom.
I wanted to give you this.
252
00:07:30,608 --> 00:07:34,108
I just found out
that you're a street urchin.
253
00:07:34,212 --> 00:07:36,782
- Oh, thank you, Yasmine.
That's very, uh, very kind.
254
00:07:36,881 --> 00:07:38,281
- What was that all about?
255
00:07:38,383 --> 00:07:39,653
- Uh, I'm in a school play.
256
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,051
I'm playing the street urchin.
257
00:07:41,119 --> 00:07:42,719
- Oh.
Would have been nice to know.
258
00:07:42,787 --> 00:07:44,617
- Good morning, congregation.
259
00:07:44,722 --> 00:07:46,562
Good morning, friends.
260
00:07:46,624 --> 00:07:49,334
Today we're going
to talk about compassion.
261
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:52,097
We have some new members here,
and we want them
262
00:07:52,163 --> 00:07:54,173
to know that no one
looks down on them
263
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,995
because they sleep
in a filthy dumpster.
264
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,402
As we know from the Bible
265
00:07:59,471 --> 00:08:00,841
in the book of Thomas,
266
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,509
God loves all types
of families.
267
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,608
Single mothers with one child.
268
00:08:05,677 --> 00:08:08,107
- Is he talking about us?
- No, I can't imagine.
269
00:08:08,179 --> 00:08:09,649
- He looks down on them
and blesses them
270
00:08:09,747 --> 00:08:12,077
while they nibble
on an old chicken bone
271
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:14,090
that they found
on the side of the street.
272
00:08:14,152 --> 00:08:15,522
- Is he pointing at us?
273
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,520
- Us?
No.
274
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,161
- God loves this family.
275
00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:20,486
God hopes
that they suck the marrow
276
00:08:20,592 --> 00:08:21,792
from that old chicken bone.
277
00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:23,500
- Tom,
what did you tell people?
278
00:08:23,595 --> 00:08:25,525
- He's just making stuff up.
You know, I gotta get going.
279
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,530
I gotta use the bathroom.
I'm gonna run home real quick.
280
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,632
- Right now?
281
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:30,100
- I'm not comfortable urinating
282
00:08:30,168 --> 00:08:32,038
with the Lord watching.
283
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,467
- What?
No, Tom, you're not leaving.
284
00:08:34,539 --> 00:08:35,769
- All right,
I'll use the church bathroom.
285
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,140
If I don't come back at all,
286
00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:38,308
just don't even worry about it.
287
00:08:38,376 --> 00:08:39,836
- What?
Tom, Tom!
288
00:08:39,944 --> 00:08:43,384
[dramatic music]
289
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,181
- Listen, we need
to unload the money now.
290
00:08:45,283 --> 00:08:46,553
- Tom.
- Right now.
291
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,721
My mom's going to find out
what we did.
292
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:48,719
She's onto it.
293
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:49,890
- Tom, listen to yourself.
294
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,818
Breathe.
Who's in charge here?
295
00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:53,160
- Who's in charge?
Me.
296
00:08:53,224 --> 00:08:54,494
I'm wearing a suit.
I'm the boss.
297
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:55,559
- Don't pull
the suit card on me.
298
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,560
- I'm just saying.
299
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:57,831
- There's no dress code
300
00:08:57,896 --> 00:08:59,056
in corporate America
these days.
301
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,804
- Listen,
in the next half hour,
302
00:09:00,865 --> 00:09:02,465
I want the money off the books,
like we never had it.
303
00:09:02,534 --> 00:09:04,844
[jolly music]
- That's it!
304
00:09:04,903 --> 00:09:07,743
The ultimate
ice cream-related item.
305
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,069
- I'm not following.
What do you want to buy?
306
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,584
You want
to buy some fudgsicles?
307
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,235
- Brother,
we buying the whole truck.
308
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,054
- Oh.
- Look at her.
309
00:09:15,146 --> 00:09:18,176
- That is the ultimate ice
cream-related item, isn't it?
310
00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:19,519
- Ah, great.
311
00:09:19,584 --> 00:09:21,324
More kids looking
for a sugar high.
312
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,086
- We have a proposal.
You sitting down?
313
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,018
- Do I look like--I'm
standing in the fucking truck.
314
00:09:25,089 --> 00:09:26,719
I'm not sitting down.
What's your proposal?
315
00:09:26,824 --> 00:09:28,434
- In general,
we've got some funds
316
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,686
that we need
to get off the books.
317
00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:32,001
- We got six grand.
- Hmm.
318
00:09:32,063 --> 00:09:34,273
- You clearly hate this job
319
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,425
and are very disgruntled.
320
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:36,703
- Ah.
Very perceptive.
321
00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:38,598
- The truck that is now yours,
322
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,773
would become ours.
323
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,111
I know you're thinking--
- Done.
324
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,707
- Done?
Wow.
325
00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:44,935
That was a little easier
than I thought.
326
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,913
- Done!
Anything to get out.
327
00:09:47,011 --> 00:09:49,751
I'll sell it to little kids.
I don't give a fuck.
328
00:09:49,847 --> 00:09:50,947
- I mean, you still
gotta drive it though.
329
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,119
We don't have any licenses yet.
330
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,377
- I love it.
It's a deal.
331
00:09:53,451 --> 00:09:55,221
- This is great.
- Yeah, whoo-hoo!
332
00:09:55,286 --> 00:09:56,786
- Okay, here's what
we're going to do.
333
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,588
I'll go call Geico
and write up the bill of sale.
334
00:09:58,690 --> 00:10:00,390
- Nice.
- You stay here with the truck.
335
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:01,788
Can I leave you
in charge for a minute?
336
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,093
- I'll leave myself in charge.
337
00:10:03,194 --> 00:10:04,564
I'm kind of the boss, but sure.
338
00:10:04,629 --> 00:10:07,469
- Okay, if that makes you
feel, uh, good.
339
00:10:08,266 --> 00:10:11,296
- The best two days of an
ice cream truck owner's life?
340
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,642
The day you buy it
and the day you sell it.
341
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,068
- Uh, excuse me.
342
00:10:15,139 --> 00:10:18,079
Hi, we've been waiting
for 10 minutes, I'd say.
343
00:10:18,142 --> 00:10:20,812
- Listen, toots.
I'm on a smoke break.
344
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:23,312
- Did you just call me toots?
I want to speak to the manager.
345
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,824
Who do I call?
- He's right here.
346
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,386
- Shh, shh, shh!
- The manager's in the truck?
347
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:28,652
- No.
- The manager and owner.
348
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,423
- Shut up!
- Tom, stop hiding.
349
00:10:30,488 --> 00:10:31,718
- Tom?
350
00:10:31,789 --> 00:10:33,059
- These ladies want
to file a complaint.
351
00:10:33,124 --> 00:10:34,294
- Tom!
Tom, is that you?
352
00:10:34,392 --> 00:10:35,462
- Oh, hey!
Yeah, I'm in here.
353
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,830
- I thought you had no money.
354
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,428
Now your family owns
an ice cream truck?
355
00:10:38,496 --> 00:10:39,926
- Drive, drive, drive!
Drive or you're fired.
356
00:10:39,998 --> 00:10:41,798
- All right, here we go.
357
00:10:41,899 --> 00:10:43,269
- Bye, Tom.
358
00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:44,444
[rock music]
359
00:10:44,502 --> 00:10:46,172
- Oh, my God.
This is not good.
360
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,311
All right, let me think.
361
00:10:47,405 --> 00:10:48,505
Think, Tom.
Think, boss.
362
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,766
What would Nelson do?
363
00:10:49,841 --> 00:10:51,111
What would Nelson do?
364
00:10:51,175 --> 00:10:52,505
You know what?
Here it is.
365
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,180
If there's no truck,
I can deny it all.
366
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,179
Executive decision,
we gotta sink it.
367
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,581
- You sure about that?
- I see literally no options.
368
00:10:59,651 --> 00:11:01,651
We need to submerge the truck
in the river.
369
00:11:01,753 --> 00:11:03,153
What do you think?
You like that idea?
370
00:11:03,254 --> 00:11:04,924
- Whatever you want, man.
It's your show.
371
00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:06,589
- So it's a good idea?
- I love it.
372
00:11:06,658 --> 00:11:08,658
- All right, I feel
like it's a unanimous decision.
373
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,190
- Two to zero.
374
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,855
- Nelson's not here.
All right, we got the votes.
375
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:14,203
♪ ♪
376
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,669
- Oh, beloved truck,
377
00:11:16,768 --> 00:11:18,468
thank you for the good times
378
00:11:18,536 --> 00:11:21,706
you've given to the children
over many summers,
379
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,536
of yesteryear and days of yore.
380
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:27,052
You have caused much,
much happiness--
381
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:30,205
- But also much sorrow
and pain.
382
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,045
- You've also caused
much sorrow and pain
383
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,120
for many people.
- Great pain.
384
00:11:34,185 --> 00:11:35,815
- You've really ruined
many lives.
385
00:11:35,887 --> 00:11:37,287
- Soul-searing pain.
386
00:11:37,355 --> 00:11:39,885
- And on that note,
we bid you farewell.
387
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,231
- Preach.
388
00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:46,702
- [sighs]
Wow.
389
00:11:46,798 --> 00:11:49,468
- You're officially a man now.
- Thank you.
390
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,474
- You sank
your first ice cream truck.
391
00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,166
- Tom!
What the hell are you doing?
392
00:11:53,237 --> 00:11:54,567
- What am I doing?
We sank the truck.
393
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,472
- I left you in charge
for one hour.
394
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:58,141
- Listen, we had no choice.
- No choice.
395
00:11:58,209 --> 00:12:00,579
- No options whatsoever.
My mom was going to find out.
396
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,208
I pulled the trigger.
I said we gotta sink it.
397
00:12:03,314 --> 00:12:04,924
- We could've just
signed over the title.
398
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,246
You know,
written up a bill of sale.
399
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,651
- Oh.
- I didn't think of that.
400
00:12:07,719 --> 00:12:09,149
- We could have just
hid the truck
401
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:11,060
for a few months
and filed an insurance claim.
402
00:12:11,155 --> 00:12:13,385
- Those are all good ideas.
- So many options.
403
00:12:13,491 --> 00:12:15,831
- Ah, man, maybe I'm not
leadership material after all.
404
00:12:15,893 --> 00:12:17,163
This is, uh--
- You think?
405
00:12:17,228 --> 00:12:19,058
- Not a good debut.
- Okay, dudes.
406
00:12:19,163 --> 00:12:22,833
You owe me $5,000 for the
truck, $800 for inventory,
407
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,900
and $200
for miscellaneous expenses.
408
00:12:26,003 --> 00:12:27,273
- All right, pay the man.
409
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,112
- Um, about that.
410
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,037
The GoFundMe
is in my dad's account.
411
00:12:31,109 --> 00:12:33,779
I just knew the password.
- Come again?
412
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,078
- I have no way
to get you the actual funds.
413
00:12:37,181 --> 00:12:38,281
- [sighs]
414
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,753
All right,
this is the last time
415
00:12:39,851 --> 00:12:42,291
I go into business
with two 10-year-olds.
416
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,457
- I don't even know why
you did it in the first place.
417
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:46,585
- It was surprising
how quickly he agreed.
418
00:12:46,691 --> 00:12:48,591
- When he said,
"Done," I was like, "Oh.
419
00:12:48,693 --> 00:12:49,963
Oh, we're really doing this."
420
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,231
- Yeah.
That caught me off guard too.
421
00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:57,596
- ♪ Remember there'smore road ♪
422
00:12:57,702 --> 00:12:59,772
♪ And places to go ♪
423
00:12:59,871 --> 00:13:03,271
♪ And patterns to contemplate,more people to fornicate ♪
424
00:13:03,374 --> 00:13:06,444
♪ And remember there'sa lot of good omens ♪
425
00:13:06,544 --> 00:13:08,154
♪ Supplying the proof ♪
426
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:11,416
♪ That our life isthe best joke ever told ♪
427
00:13:11,482 --> 00:13:15,792
♪ Remember it's a jokeand leave it alone ♪
428
00:13:15,887 --> 00:13:19,987
♪ Let go and try to bealways abiding ♪
429
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:23,901
♪ Remember if there'sone good reason for dying ♪
430
00:13:23,961 --> 00:13:26,161
♪ The sweet silver lining ♪
431
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,304
♪ Through you she lives on ♪
432
00:13:28,399 --> 00:13:31,999
♪ And therein lies a truthwe can sip when we want ♪
433
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:36,613
♪ Disciples of the flowwe can float anywhere ♪
434
00:13:36,663 --> 00:13:41,213
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