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1
00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:04,171
(mysterious music)
2
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,456
(masked man grunting)
3
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,933
- Master, this is Mr. Bob Dixon.
4
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,269
- How you doing?
5
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:53,812
- Not too bad.
- Have a seat.
6
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:57,732
- As I told your assistant,
7
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,943
my wife Chloe's been kidnapped.
8
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,194
- I see.
9
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,446
Did you bring the panties?
- I brought a photo of her.
10
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:06,241
- No, I don't need to see the photograph.
I just need the panties.
11
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,201
- [Bob] There you go.
12
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:09,828
- Thank you.
13
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:18,962
Blonde?
14
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,593
She is in trouble.
15
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,802
- I know that.
16
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,184
- She's with a man that doesn't love her,
17
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:37,939
a man that wants to kill her.
18
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,444
Oh, and by the way, congratulations.
19
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,154
- What do you mean?
20
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,822
- Oh, your wife, she's pregnant.
21
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,158
- That's incredible.
22
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,326
A boy or girl?
23
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:54,915
. BOY-
24
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,375
- Wait a minute, I'm sterile.
25
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:01,338
- But back to business,
26
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,007
have you spoken to Henry
about the pay arrangements?
27
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,300
- [Bob] Yes, I have.
28
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,551
- Okay, then.
29
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:07,844
Look, leave this with us
30
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,346
and don't worry at all,
31
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,306
we'll give you a call when she's back.
32
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,183
- [Bob] But do you think you'll find her?
33
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,267
- We'll find her.
34
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:21,149
(speaking foreign language)
(gentle music)
35
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,698
- Let's get cracking, John,
36
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,282
before I get any older.
37
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,910
(gentle music)
38
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,560
Take the next exit.
39
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,869
What brand do you smoke, boy?
40
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,580
- I don't smoke.
41
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,582
It's a filthy habit.
42
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,251
(gentle music)
43
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:24,397
(men grunting)
(knife stabbing)
44
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,710
- That was 12 for my 12.
45
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:03,353
Come on, John, take me home.
46
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,688
I have a son to make.
47
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:21,496
(mysterious music)
- Late.
48
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,637
Fuckers are late.
49
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,556
- Look, I need to take a piss.
50
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,016
- Just keep a lookout, all right?
51
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,225
I don't appreciate surprises.
52
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,269
When he shows up, I'm gonna be ready.
53
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,478
You know what to do?
54
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,147
- Sure.
- Show me.
55
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,399
- I remember.
- Show me, Duke.
56
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,778
(blows whistle)
57
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:36,946
Not bad.
58
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,376
- Give me a kiss.
59
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,338
- Hey fucker, I already
spoke to you about that.
60
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:54,797
Keep your filthy mouth off her.
61
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,549
God knows where it's been.
62
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:57,634
If those towel heads
63
00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,552
even get a whiff that she's damaged goods,
64
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:03,514
they'll turn their fucking ship back
and go straight back to the oil fields.
65
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:04,515
And if they do that,
66
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,434
I'll ring your fucking neck.
67
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,687
The blonde is my ticket to Mexico,
68
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,272
and no one fucks with a man's dream.
69
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,942
I don't care if you're my brother.
70
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,194
Now go and relieve Duke, he needs a piss.
71
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:24,661
You're gonna love them towel
head porno movies, babe.
72
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:27,163
And them towel heads are
sure gonna love you.
73
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,875
And you, remember,
74
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,128
when you hear this (blows whistle)
75
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,631
it's lights, camera, fucking action
76
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,007
until I say cut.
77
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,636
And get that fucking
shit out of your mouth.
78
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:42,887
It's unladylike.
79
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,602
(spits out gum)
80
00:12:55,441 --> 00:13:00,363
- There was a time when 10
o'clock meant fucking 10 o'clock.
81
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,407
- Toilet break!
82
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:11,874
Hey, hey, what about the whistle?
83
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,501
- Get your own fucking whistle.
84
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,475
(unzipping pants)
85
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:32,145
(fly buzzing)
86
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,027
(scissors snipping)
(Duke screaming)
87
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,653
(gunfire blasting)
88
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,073
- The Masturbating Gunman, he's here?
89
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,702
(intense music)
90
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,664
(Sexy music)
91
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,182
(man grunting)
92
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,127
(gunfire blasting)
93
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:07,341
(thunder clapping)
94
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,320
- It's okay, your husband sent me.
95
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,990
(hopeful music)
96
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:50,676
- Skull, skull, skull,
skull, skull, skull!
97
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,015
(door opens)
98
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,943
- Fools.
99
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,823
Failed humans, all.
100
00:17:56,242 --> 00:18:03,833
The detritus that the employment
agencies shipped to me
101
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,630
in the thrust
102
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,634
to rebuild your humanity.
103
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:18,639
Pathetic.
104
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,187
But you don't understand me.
105
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:34,196
You are in the domain of slaves.
106
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:38,743
Consumption,
107
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,538
that is all you know.
108
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,587
Filling your bodies with pollutants.
109
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,885
Alas, you need me,
110
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,889
for you are all but lost.
111
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,186
You need a navigator.
112
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:12,151
And my son, he will come.
113
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,527
He will lead you.
114
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,699
He will be a God,
115
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,494
a perfect being,
116
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,625
something that has not been
for 2,000 years.
117
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:33,589
Your mission is to find me a virgin,
118
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,970
a woman who will be the vessel
119
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,223
for the passage of my lineage.
120
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:49,689
A virgin with a womb that
has not been defiled,
121
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:54,944
that has not been
polluted by beer drinking,
122
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:59,281
cigarette smoking, party loving,
123
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:04,245
tabloid reading degenerates
such as yourselves.
124
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:12,002
He will carry my bloodline into eternity
125
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,798
and save us all
126
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:21,470
from damnation and destruction
127
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:22,722
in that hot place.
128
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,351
So venture forth,
129
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,730
each and every one of you,
130
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:36,235
and bring me the mother of my son.
131
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,532
I shall be going fishing on the weekend.
132
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,869
When I return with my catch,
133
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,956
I expect you to return with yours.
134
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,459
Any questions?
135
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,463
Yes, you in the mask.
136
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,468
- I haven't been paid for
three months, Mr. Gunter.
137
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:04,597
- Haven't been paid for three months?
138
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,558
(laughs)
139
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:08,768
You should pay me.
140
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:11,645
You should be thankful.
141
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,398
You should be on your knees
142
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:18,360
begging me for an
extension on your mortality
143
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:19,820
for one more day.
144
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,073
You should be thankful to me
145
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,828
that I am giving you the chance to live,
146
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:32,249
to be part of my grand plan.
147
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:34,752
- But I need to eat, sir,
148
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:36,086
I've got a family.
149
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:41,175
- Whatever you have,
sunshine, it is not a family.
150
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,345
It is a genetic dung heap.
151
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,641
And you should refrain
152
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,601
from any further intercourse
153
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:53,354
before you cause any more trouble.
154
00:21:56,065 --> 00:21:59,276
But that's enough
pettiness for one morning.
155
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:05,491
Okay, go forth and bring
me the mother of my child.
156
00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:10,830
(birds squawking)
157
00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:35,771
- Master, this is Mr. Bob Dixon.
158
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,064
- Yeah, I know.
159
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,816
- [Chloe] Bob!
- Chloe!
160
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:41,777
- Just one moment.
161
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:43,696
Now that we've returned your wife to you,
162
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,656
there's a little matter
of a tip to be discussed.
163
00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,074
- A tip?
164
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:49,493
- I believe Henry spoke to
you on the phone about a tip.
165
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:50,786
- No.
166
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:54,039
- I always get my tip-
167
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,587
(whimsical classical music)
168
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,676
Jesus, fuck.
169
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:53,432
(dark music)
170
00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,688
- You call this a problem, John?
171
00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:03,150
The black market in school girl panties
172
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:04,568
no longer exists, sir.
173
00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:08,155
They're selling them
out of vending machines.
174
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:10,532
School girls are being
paid by the government
175
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:11,992
to sell panties.
176
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:15,537
Tabletop dancing is no longer illegal.
177
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,499
They're teaching it in schools.
178
00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:22,336
The university offers a master's degree
179
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:23,629
in sexual exhibitionism.
180
00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:26,757
We had to close the clubs down.
181
00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:30,302
Every wife, mother and daughter
182
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:32,221
is a budding table top dancer.
183
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,557
Table builders are making a killing.
184
00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:39,144
The company's broke, sir.
185
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:42,106
I can't pay the men.
186
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,027
It's been 12 years, sir.
187
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:49,196
Times have changed.
188
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:51,740
(laughs)
189
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:53,492
- But you haven't, Johnny.
190
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,328
You still worry too much.
191
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:58,497
(laughs)
192
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:02,751
You should look ahead to the future.
193
00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:07,589
We Germans and the Japanese have a saying:
194
00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:10,634
We will get it right next time, yeah?
195
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:12,011
(laughs)
196
00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:16,557
In nine months time, my son will be born.
197
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:21,812
Your worries and everybody's
worries will be over.
198
00:25:22,104 --> 00:25:23,439
- They have families.
199
00:25:23,731 --> 00:25:24,982
- Oh, fuck their families.
200
00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:29,987
A million families are not
worth one drop of my semen,
201
00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:32,865
or one drop of my son's blood.
202
00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:38,287
Money comes and money goes,
203
00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:43,250
but my son and I come
only once in a lifetime.
204
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,210
And now is the time for me
205
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,379
to cum like the blitzkrieg.
206
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:51,425
(clock ticking)
207
00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:59,558
- All right, one more time.
208
00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:01,685
Try those.
209
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:03,771
- Thank you, master.
210
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:23,082
She's blonde.
211
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,043
Yeah, she's blonde...
212
00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:31,840
and short...
213
00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:37,137
and she's got schizophrenia.
214
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:38,388
- You idiot.
215
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,557
How many times do I have to tell you?
216
00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:42,768
What did you forget at the start, huh?
217
00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:45,395
What did you forget?
- I don't know, master.
218
00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:47,439
- You forgot your nasal spray, didn't you?
219
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:48,732
How many times have I told you
220
00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:50,234
you have to clean out your sinuses
221
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:51,568
to get the full essence?
222
00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:55,322
And blonde, she's a brunette.
223
00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:58,283
And she's not short, she's tall.
224
00:26:58,575 --> 00:27:00,035
And she has kleptomania.
225
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,830
- I'm sorry, master.
- You're sorry?
226
00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:06,875
You know what your problem is?
You don't associate with women enough
227
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:08,919
in any way, shape or form.
228
00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,755
Have you watched any of
those pornos I gave you?
229
00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:12,798
No.
230
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:15,884
Have you gone to any of those
prostitutes I recommended?
231
00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:18,303
- No.
- And why not?
232
00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:19,471
- They scare me, master.
233
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:21,932
- Well overcome that fear, will ya?
234
00:27:22,224 --> 00:27:24,643
Mr. Nikkatsu did not let me
see, smell or touch a woman,
235
00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:26,436
or the image of a woman, for 10 years.
236
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:29,481
And that's why I'm in such hell now.
237
00:27:29,773 --> 00:27:32,151
And I don't want you to go down that road
that I've been down.
238
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:36,071
I can't stress that strongly enough,
one porno, one prostitute a day.
239
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,657
It's so vital.
240
00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:42,327
(mysterious music)
241
00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:41,053
How are you?
242
00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:43,388
- Fine.
243
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:48,018
- I've got some more money for you.
244
00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:50,938
- I don't need your money.
245
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,523
- The orphans need it though.
246
00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:57,194
- You know how I feel.
247
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:00,322
- It's like mom always said,
248
00:29:00,989 --> 00:29:02,324
it's not where the money comes from,
249
00:29:02,824 --> 00:29:03,992
it's what you do with it.
250
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:10,916
Take it.
251
00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:14,086
- Thanks.
252
00:29:15,837 --> 00:29:17,464
- I'll see you later.
253
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,680
(gentle music)
254
00:29:50,664 --> 00:29:52,958
(goats bleating)
255
00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:56,545
(gentle music)
256
00:30:07,597 --> 00:30:09,141
(goats bleating)
257
00:30:09,433 --> 00:30:11,810
(gentle music)
258
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,066
(ominous music)
259
00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:38,397
(slaps face)
260
00:31:52,494 --> 00:31:55,163
(ominous music)
261
00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:01,336
- Not a single virgin
262
00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:05,590
in a city of one and a half million women.
263
00:32:08,135 --> 00:32:09,469
Awful.
264
00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:12,514
Outrageous.
265
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:18,228
I put it to you,
266
00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:21,815
you are not looking hard enough.
267
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:25,527
Tell me I'm wrong.
268
00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:27,154
- [Male] We looked everywhere, sir.
269
00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:29,406
We turned the town
upside down and inside out.
270
00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:31,241
There isn't a single virgin left.
271
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,868
- Well, look harder.
272
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,912
(gunfire blasting)
(man grunting)
273
00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:42,210
Next time, I'm inclined to build a coffin
274
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:43,670
for the rest of you,
275
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:49,676
for this unacceptable delay
in finding me a virgin.
276
00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,264
But I'm feeling kind.
277
00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:56,766
I'm feeling charitable.
278
00:32:59,227 --> 00:33:01,521
You have 24 hours
279
00:33:03,190 --> 00:33:08,069
to find me the mother of my son.
280
00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:10,197
Any questions?
281
00:33:11,573 --> 00:33:13,241
- May I remove my balaclava, sir?
282
00:33:13,533 --> 00:33:14,826
It's hot in here.
283
00:33:15,869 --> 00:33:18,455
- No, you certainly may not.
284
00:33:18,788 --> 00:33:21,833
If you re-read the conditions
of your employment,
285
00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,251
especially the small print,
286
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,463
it says a condition of your employment
287
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,049
is that the wearing of balaclavas
288
00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:31,593
will be undertaken 24 hours a day.
289
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:35,472
The shameless parading of one's naked face
290
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:41,061
only encourages ugliness
and reckless procreation.
291
00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:46,858
Besides, all good
criminals wear balaclavas.
292
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:49,569
- But sir, George never
wears his balaclava.
293
00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:54,157
- Yes, well George is a special case.
294
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:57,160
His father was my best friend.
295
00:33:57,911 --> 00:34:00,830
And besides, George is a good looking boy.
296
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:06,294
Here, our last bit of training.
297
00:34:06,586 --> 00:34:09,214
At the sound of my clap,
298
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:10,465
you'll all go
299
00:34:11,675 --> 00:34:13,552
and find me that virgin.
300
00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:15,595
(claps hands)
301
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:19,349
(whimsical classical music)
302
00:35:03,268 --> 00:35:04,894
- Jesus, fuck.
303
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:09,190
(whimsical classical music)
304
00:35:54,444 --> 00:35:57,113
(ominous music)
305
00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:48,331
- Fucking don't move.
306
00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:51,042
(ominous music)
307
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:59,592
- You have been so
understanding, so patient.
308
00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:06,599
Incarceration was no holiday
in the Mediterranean for you.
309
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,310
But soon,
310
00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:13,273
soon, my purple-headed friend,
311
00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:18,445
you will be ready to sow your seed.
312
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,780
(laughing)
313
00:37:22,115 --> 00:37:23,158
Oh, yeah.
314
00:37:23,450 --> 00:37:24,701
(laughing)
315
00:37:24,993 --> 00:37:26,828
- Sir, she's here.
316
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:27,912
- Ah, ah.
317
00:37:33,710 --> 00:37:35,420
(zips pants)
318
00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:36,504
(laughs)
319
00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:38,923
- First night jitters I'm afraid, boy.
320
00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:43,094
Well, how does the old man stand up?
321
00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:46,181
- Like an apple pie, sir,
322
00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:50,685
like a sweet crusty apple pie
cooling on a country window.
323
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:54,147
(laughs)
324
00:37:54,439 --> 00:37:57,317
- Well, we must not keep the lady waiting.
325
00:37:57,776 --> 00:37:58,693
Let us go.
326
00:38:01,154 --> 00:38:03,740
(ominous music)
327
00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:49,744
An angel from heaven.
328
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:55,458
Welcome to my humble
sanctuary, Sister Mary.
329
00:38:56,626 --> 00:38:58,378
My name is Helmut Gunter.
330
00:39:01,631 --> 00:39:04,968
Ah, your prayers do not have the strength
331
00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:07,679
to penetrate these walls,
332
00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:10,974
and your God has forsaken you.
333
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:15,395
He has delivered you here to my ministry.
334
00:39:19,148 --> 00:39:21,484
You are indeed fortunate.
335
00:39:21,776 --> 00:39:25,905
You have been chosen
to conceive, to carry,
336
00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:27,949
to bring to term
337
00:39:29,325 --> 00:39:34,247
and to deliver the new Christ, my son.
338
00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:38,918
Lock her up, boys.
339
00:39:39,794 --> 00:39:42,255
Post a guard outside her cell.
340
00:39:42,547 --> 00:39:44,757
Outside, I repeat, not inside.
341
00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:48,678
I don't want your eyes
polluting her virtue.
342
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:53,975
(phone ringing)
343
00:39:54,267 --> 00:39:55,935
(punching)
344
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:58,688
(phone ringing)
345
00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:05,069
- Hello?
346
00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:06,863
Is that you, Henry?
347
00:40:07,697 --> 00:40:09,157
No, I can't hear you.
348
00:40:09,449 --> 00:40:10,241
Just a minute.
349
00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:14,913
What's up?
350
00:40:15,204 --> 00:40:17,248
(grunting)
351
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,840
My sister's been kidnapped?
352
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:27,759
Are you sure, Henry?
353
00:40:28,051 --> 00:40:31,346
(gunfire blasting)
354
00:40:31,638 --> 00:40:33,681
Henry, put the kettle
on, I'm on my way back.
355
00:40:34,891 --> 00:40:37,352
(men grunting)
356
00:40:50,531 --> 00:40:53,201
(ominous music)
357
00:40:57,705 --> 00:41:01,584
All right, you're not
fooling anyone with that.
358
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:03,086
What's this shit about my sister?
359
00:41:03,378 --> 00:41:04,712
- I got a call she's been kidnapped.
360
00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:06,464
- Kidnapped, are you shitting me?
361
00:41:07,674 --> 00:41:10,551
Who the hell would kidnap
a nun, for Christ's sake?
362
00:41:10,843 --> 00:41:13,346
Where, where did this happen?
- At the church just down the street.
363
00:41:13,638 --> 00:41:14,597
- Well, that's where I'm going.
364
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:17,141
- I want to come with you.
- I've told you my position on that.
365
00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:19,185
You stay here and man those phones.
366
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:20,853
- There's only one phone, master.
367
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:23,189
- Then man that one
phone, for Christ's sake.
368
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:25,692
(dark music)
369
00:41:35,284 --> 00:41:37,787
(birds squawking)
370
00:41:38,079 --> 00:41:40,873
(mysterious music)
371
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:40,743
This guy's a fucking maniac.
372
00:43:41,035 --> 00:43:43,412
He's got connections all around
the world to cult leaders.
373
00:43:44,038 --> 00:43:45,164
He thinks he's God,
374
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:46,332
he's completely fucking nuts.
375
00:43:46,999 --> 00:43:48,751
The man's got no decency or shame.
376
00:43:50,378 --> 00:43:51,879
Right, that's it.
377
00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:54,590
I'm not gonna be back until
I've found her. Get out of my way.
378
00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:56,008
Get out of my way.
379
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,136
Jesus fucking Christ.
380
00:43:58,427 --> 00:43:59,637
- I want to come with you.
381
00:43:59,929 --> 00:44:01,722
- I've told you before,
you're not ready.
382
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:03,391
And I'm not gonna risk your life.
383
00:44:03,683 --> 00:44:04,934
- Well, what else can I do?
384
00:44:05,226 --> 00:44:06,644
- You can man the phone, boy.
385
00:44:06,936 --> 00:44:08,646
- There's two phones now.
386
00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:11,440
- Well, man both of them, you fucking moron.
And get cracking.
387
00:44:11,732 --> 00:44:15,361
- Master, why do you
treat me like rubbish?
388
00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:17,321
- It's for your own good,
boy, you're too soft.
389
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:20,158
And you want to talk about
being treated like rubbish?
390
00:44:20,449 --> 00:44:22,326
Let me tell you about Mr. Nikkatsu.
391
00:44:22,618 --> 00:44:23,870
Instead of getting me an alarm clock,
392
00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:27,165
he used to wake me up every morning
by stabbing me in the chest.
393
00:44:27,456 --> 00:44:28,708
For my birthday, he'd cover me in tar
394
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,710
and pour acid down my throat.
395
00:44:31,002 --> 00:44:32,044
And for Christmas,
396
00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:33,921
he used to beat me with a tire iron
397
00:44:34,213 --> 00:44:35,131
and half strangle me.
398
00:44:36,132 --> 00:44:37,216
He was cruel but fair.
399
00:44:38,801 --> 00:44:39,760
Come here, boy.
400
00:44:40,803 --> 00:44:41,846
Come here.
401
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,225
I don't know what you're
complaining about.
402
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:49,854
I treat you a hell of a lot better
than the way Mr. Nikkatsu ever treated me.
403
00:44:50,146 --> 00:44:52,190
Have I ever once done
this, or this, or this?
404
00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,114
- Master?
405
00:45:00,406 --> 00:45:01,365
- What?
406
00:45:02,658 --> 00:45:05,411
- Why'd you ever take me
on as your apprentice?
407
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,955
- 'Cause you reminded me
of myself at your age.
408
00:45:08,247 --> 00:45:09,415
I felt sorry for you.
409
00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:14,295
(gentle music)
410
00:45:33,105 --> 00:45:34,690
(train blowing)
411
00:45:34,982 --> 00:45:37,443
(gentle music)
412
00:46:09,517 --> 00:46:13,145
- You must put the past
behind you, sister.
413
00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:15,439
Erase it from your consciousness.
414
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:19,443
You have no history.
415
00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:23,531
Before me, you never existed.
416
00:46:25,658 --> 00:46:30,579
All that has been is
irrelevant, non-existent.
417
00:46:34,750 --> 00:46:37,920
You only exist for the future,
418
00:46:39,088 --> 00:46:40,840
to bear my son.
419
00:46:43,426 --> 00:46:44,343
John!
420
00:46:46,679 --> 00:46:47,930
Tie this woman up,
421
00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:49,598
she talks too much.
422
00:46:52,893 --> 00:46:55,980
Your body and your mind are mine,
423
00:46:57,315 --> 00:46:58,232
for my son.
424
00:47:01,319 --> 00:47:03,821
(gentle music)
425
00:48:15,976 --> 00:48:18,479
(man grunting)
426
00:48:35,329 --> 00:48:37,832
(gentle music)
427
00:50:00,915 --> 00:50:03,459
(ominous music)
428
00:50:19,934 --> 00:50:22,811
- This woman is wearing no panties.
429
00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:23,896
A nun!
430
00:50:25,105 --> 00:50:26,690
She's wearing no panties.
431
00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:30,736
Who relieved her of her panties?
432
00:50:31,028 --> 00:50:32,738
You know I live to do that.
433
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,990
- Maybe she doesn't wear panties, sir.
434
00:50:35,282 --> 00:50:38,911
- A nun who doesn't wear panties?
435
00:50:39,203 --> 00:50:41,080
Ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
436
00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:43,457
- Perhaps she took them
off deliberately, sir.
437
00:50:45,834 --> 00:50:48,045
Maybe she needed to take a wee in a hurry.
438
00:50:49,588 --> 00:50:50,631
- Speculation.
439
00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:59,181
- Maybe she needed to remove
them in a hurry for someone.
440
00:51:04,228 --> 00:51:05,896
- What do you mean?
441
00:51:06,188 --> 00:51:07,064
- Being a nun,
442
00:51:08,774 --> 00:51:10,568
the only reason she'd take them off
443
00:51:10,859 --> 00:51:12,778
is if she wanted somebody to find them.
444
00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:20,035
And the only person she'd
want to find them would be...
445
00:51:21,453 --> 00:51:22,371
Oh my God.
446
00:51:23,706 --> 00:51:25,541
- Spit it out boy, what is it?
447
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:26,667
- Sister?
448
00:51:28,085 --> 00:51:30,045
What is your second name?
449
00:51:30,337 --> 00:51:32,423
- I am Sister Mary van Hootin.
450
00:51:35,301 --> 00:51:39,430
- Sir, she's the sister of the
famous Masturbating Gunman.
451
00:51:39,722 --> 00:51:40,973
- What?
452
00:51:41,265 --> 00:51:42,683
- He could ruin everything, sir.
453
00:51:44,852 --> 00:51:47,646
- I have heard of this
Masturbating Gunman.
454
00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:52,568
Behind bars, he is something of a legend,
455
00:51:52,860 --> 00:51:55,571
but he is not indestructible.
456
00:51:57,448 --> 00:52:00,993
They say he must jerk
before he does his work.
457
00:52:02,286 --> 00:52:06,957
Well, we will give him
plenty of reasons to jerk,
458
00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,587
then we will kill him.
459
00:52:14,048 --> 00:52:17,676
Call my friend Dino,
John, from Pubic Pictures,
460
00:52:18,469 --> 00:52:21,263
and tell him to send over
some of his very best girls.
461
00:52:23,098 --> 00:52:27,311
And get a pair of panties
for Sister Mary, pink ones.
462
00:52:31,231 --> 00:52:34,485
A nuclear strike, a Churchill tank,
463
00:52:35,569 --> 00:52:36,654
an angry housewife
464
00:52:38,197 --> 00:52:40,616
or the Masturbating Gunman,
465
00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:42,326
will not stand in the way
466
00:52:42,618 --> 00:52:44,745
of the son of Helmut Gunter.
467
00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:48,791
(ominous music)
468
00:53:02,971 --> 00:53:05,015
- No!
469
00:53:10,437 --> 00:53:12,773
(dark music)
470
00:54:56,877 --> 00:54:58,879
- Hey sister, what are you doing?
471
00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:00,464
Praying it doesn't hurt?
472
00:55:04,885 --> 00:55:05,719
I'll tell you something,
473
00:55:06,011 --> 00:55:07,930
they reckon he's hung like a fucking mule.
474
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,226
(ominous music)
475
00:55:21,068 --> 00:55:23,570
- Why don't you take
off your mask, soldier?
476
00:55:23,862 --> 00:55:25,781
I'd like to see your face.
477
00:55:26,073 --> 00:55:27,074
- I can't do that.
478
00:55:27,366 --> 00:55:28,200
It's the rules.
479
00:55:28,867 --> 00:55:31,995
- Only a pussy would follow
rules like that.
480
00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:34,081
Are you a pussy, soldier?
481
00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:36,375
- I ain't no fucking pussy.
482
00:55:38,794 --> 00:55:40,462
- Take off your mask.
483
00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:55,602
- Not bad.
484
00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:00,899
I want you inside me,
485
00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:03,986
but you'll have to untie me first.
486
00:56:06,530 --> 00:56:09,199
(ominous music)
487
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:29,803
Oh, that's much better.
488
00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:43,233
Okay, let's fuck.
489
00:56:46,862 --> 00:56:49,448
(man grunting)
490
00:57:09,593 --> 00:57:12,763
So you like my holy hole, handsome?
491
00:57:13,221 --> 00:57:14,139
- Yeah, oh yeah.
492
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:18,894
- Well, tell your friends
I love men in masks.
493
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:37,371
(man grunting)
(ominous music)
494
00:59:51,546 --> 00:59:52,464
- Bless you, sister.
495
00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:56,927
(ominous music)
496
01:00:12,984 --> 01:00:15,487
(gentle music)
497
01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:23,657
(ominous music)
498
01:04:49,052 --> 01:04:51,221
- What the hell did you
do with my fucking piece?
499
01:04:51,513 --> 01:04:53,098
I saw you looking at it yesterday.
500
01:04:53,390 --> 01:04:55,100
- I didn't touch your fucking piece.
501
01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:56,643
Mine's gone too.
502
01:04:56,935 --> 01:04:58,561
- Hey, anyone seen my Beretta?
503
01:04:58,853 --> 01:05:01,314
(ominous music)
504
01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:07,612
- Good morning, sister.
505
01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:09,489
I hope you slept well.
506
01:05:11,783 --> 01:05:14,494
How about some breakfast?
507
01:05:14,786 --> 01:05:16,830
Looks delicious
508
01:05:17,122 --> 01:05:19,040
and full of fiber.
509
01:05:19,332 --> 01:05:20,417
And fruit has no fat.
510
01:05:25,922 --> 01:05:30,677
After tonight, you will be eating for two.
511
01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:35,056
Yes
512
01:05:35,348 --> 01:05:36,891
- Sir, the girls have arrived.
513
01:05:37,642 --> 01:05:39,185
- Ah, excellent.
514
01:05:39,477 --> 01:05:42,647
But remember, if I see
even a hint of a mustache
515
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:43,898
on any of them,
516
01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:46,818
I'll hold you personally responsible.
517
01:05:47,110 --> 01:05:50,363
Only a gay man would jerk off
to a woman with a mustache.
518
01:05:54,409 --> 01:05:56,911
Ah, you look refreshed, sister.
519
01:05:58,413 --> 01:06:01,833
Life with Helmut Gunter must
be agreeing with you, yeah?
520
01:06:03,126 --> 01:06:05,211
(gunfire blasting)
521
01:06:05,503 --> 01:06:06,880
- The Masturbating Gunman is here.
522
01:06:07,172 --> 01:06:09,174
- Quick, get the men into position.
523
01:06:09,507 --> 01:06:13,094
(gunfire blasting)
524
01:06:13,386 --> 01:06:15,972
(man yelling)
525
01:06:16,264 --> 01:06:18,808
(ominous music)
526
01:06:19,976 --> 01:06:22,812
(gunfire blasting)
527
01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:26,649
(ominous music)
528
01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:49,714
- Whoa, tits!
529
01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:52,717
(ominous music)
530
01:06:57,055 --> 01:06:59,557
(man grunting)
531
01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:08,983
(ominous music)
532
01:07:39,097 --> 01:07:41,432
- I've given you everything I've got,
533
01:07:42,225 --> 01:07:43,560
you Nazi bastard.
534
01:07:46,104 --> 01:07:47,188
Wait a minute.
535
01:07:49,274 --> 01:07:51,693
(man yelling)
536
01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:00,994
(gunfire blasting)
537
01:08:01,286 --> 01:08:03,204
- That's my boys,
538
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:05,039
they like their work.
539
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:11,337
(wall exploding)
(ominous music)
540
01:08:18,553 --> 01:08:21,389
(gunfire blasting)
541
01:08:52,503 --> 01:08:54,839
(Sexy music)
542
01:10:09,372 --> 01:10:11,541
(grunting)
543
01:10:55,501 --> 01:10:58,087
(ominous music)
544
01:11:09,015 --> 01:11:12,268
(gunfire blasting)
545
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:15,021
(ominous music)
546
01:11:18,024 --> 01:11:20,359
(Sexy music)
547
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:12,495
(grunting)
548
01:12:40,857 --> 01:12:43,526
(ominous music)
549
01:12:56,747 --> 01:12:59,083
(Sexy music)
550
01:14:44,230 --> 01:14:46,399
(grunting)
551
01:15:24,729 --> 01:15:29,650
Well, well, well, well,
well, well, well, well.
552
01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:36,240
So this is the Masturbating Gunman?
553
01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:38,576
(laughs)
554
01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:46,500
I am trying to organize a firing squad,
555
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:50,629
and you tell me that the only gun we have
556
01:15:51,672 --> 01:15:55,843
to do the firing squad is his gun?
557
01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:57,053
- Yes, sir.
558
01:15:57,344 --> 01:15:59,346
Our guns have all disappeared.
559
01:15:59,638 --> 01:16:00,806
- Disappeared?
560
01:16:01,098 --> 01:16:02,141
- Yes, sir.
561
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:03,893
- What one must endure
562
01:16:04,185 --> 01:16:07,021
to have a baby around here.
563
01:16:07,438 --> 01:16:10,983
I only hope it gets
easier when he is born.
564
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:14,737
(sighs)
565
01:16:15,321 --> 01:16:16,238
Very well,
566
01:16:17,281 --> 01:16:19,700
we'll have to use the one gun.
567
01:16:20,951 --> 01:16:21,994
One gun!
568
01:16:23,287 --> 01:16:25,456
Some fucking firing squad.
569
01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:30,169
(ominous music)
570
01:16:40,471 --> 01:16:42,890
(throwing up)
571
01:16:58,906 --> 01:17:00,616
What sort of a gunman
572
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:02,701
throws his gun at the enemy?
573
01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:07,123
A stupid gunman maybe,
an idiot perhaps,
574
01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:10,251
but not a man deserving of the legend.
575
01:17:13,420 --> 01:17:15,673
Your sister will be remembered,
576
01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:18,217
for she will be the mother of my son,
577
01:17:18,509 --> 01:17:19,927
but not you.
578
01:17:20,219 --> 01:17:22,972
You are yesterday's news already,
579
01:17:23,264 --> 01:17:26,225
discarded, forgotten,
580
01:17:26,517 --> 01:17:30,521
yellow around the edges and dead.
581
01:17:33,107 --> 01:17:36,277
Go ahead and grope your organs, boy.
582
01:17:36,569 --> 01:17:38,362
You're heading for extinction anyway.
583
01:17:41,031 --> 01:17:44,243
Your legend, like most legends,
584
01:17:44,535 --> 01:17:45,369
is undeserved,
585
01:17:46,662 --> 01:17:47,872
media created,
586
01:17:48,789 --> 01:17:49,707
an illusion.
587
01:17:51,584 --> 01:17:53,586
(laughs)
588
01:17:55,421 --> 01:17:58,007
A fitting climax for both of us.
589
01:17:59,842 --> 01:18:01,093
You are not a gunman.
590
01:18:02,219 --> 01:18:03,554
You are nothing.
591
01:18:04,471 --> 01:18:06,891
Now you no longer exist.
592
01:18:07,183 --> 01:18:09,476
(grunting)
593
01:18:09,768 --> 01:18:11,729
(yelling)
594
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:29,705
Prepare to die.
595
01:18:30,706 --> 01:18:31,624
- That's enough.
596
01:18:33,292 --> 01:18:35,794
(upbeat music)
597
01:18:52,937 --> 01:18:54,605
- What are you doing?
598
01:19:05,115 --> 01:19:06,784
What's going on here?
599
01:19:08,369 --> 01:19:10,788
(nun moaning)
600
01:19:34,436 --> 01:19:36,105
You're not a virgin.
601
01:19:38,816 --> 01:19:39,942
You tricked me.
602
01:19:41,277 --> 01:19:44,113
(gunfire blasting)
603
01:19:48,617 --> 01:19:51,203
(hopeful music)
604
01:19:56,625 --> 01:19:57,918
- I'm cured.
605
01:19:58,669 --> 01:20:01,422
- I never stopped praying for you.
606
01:20:03,173 --> 01:20:05,259
Mom would've been so proud.
607
01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:07,761
- Master!
608
01:20:11,265 --> 01:20:13,142
- No Henry, let him go.
609
01:20:14,601 --> 01:20:15,811
He's suffered enough.
610
01:20:31,910 --> 01:20:35,497
(whimsical classical music)
611
01:21:10,657 --> 01:21:13,327
(ominous music)
38385
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