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1
00:01:21,264 --> 00:01:25,257
It's delightful to be married
To be, be, be, be married!
2
00:01:25,368 --> 00:01:26,357
There's nothing half as jolly
3
00:01:26,436 --> 00:01:27,596
Good evening, Mr. Ireland.
4
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,797
As a happy married life
5
00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:30,897
Hiya, Jimmy.
6
00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:33,101
- Give me a little lift with this, will you?
- Certainly, sir.
7
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:37,772
Yes, sir, Jimmy, it's certainly
delightful to be, be, be, be married!
8
00:01:38,715 --> 00:01:41,445
- Don't you think so, Jimmy?
- Well, sometimes.
9
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:42,815
Oh, always.
10
00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:45,821
There's nothing wrong with anyone's
life that a good marriage can't cure.
11
00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:47,151
Thank you, sir.
12
00:01:47,223 --> 00:01:50,852
It's delightful to be married
To be, be, be, be married
13
00:01:51,628 --> 00:01:55,530
He'd sure sing a different tune if
he lived with my old lady for a while.
14
00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:58,123
Oh, I don't know. I didn't mind it so much.
15
00:02:00,303 --> 00:02:03,363
- Good morning, Mr. Ireland.
- Good evening, Joe.
16
00:02:04,474 --> 00:02:06,635
(WHISTLING UPBEAT TUNE)
17
00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:10,003
What happened?
18
00:02:10,079 --> 00:02:12,912
Oh, I don't know, sir. It's
been acting funny all day.
19
00:02:12,982 --> 00:02:14,745
Well, it looks like we're stuck for good now.
20
00:02:14,818 --> 00:02:16,217
Stuck? I can't be stuck!
21
00:02:16,286 --> 00:02:18,083
I've got the most important
date of the year tonight!
22
00:02:18,154 --> 00:02:19,553
Wait a minute, sir.
23
00:02:19,622 --> 00:02:22,648
You hear that rumbling? That
means the power is still on.
24
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,693
It'll start in a second.
25
00:02:25,328 --> 00:02:27,296
Oh, come on, elevator, nice old elevator.
26
00:02:27,363 --> 00:02:31,766
Get me upstairs and I'll put you out
to pasture in a beautiful, green meadow.
27
00:02:31,835 --> 00:02:34,633
There she goes, sir. She's all right now.
28
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,100
- Good evening, Mr. Ireland.
- Shh!
29
00:02:38,174 --> 00:02:40,608
- Where is she?
- She's in her room.
30
00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:43,870
Well, well! What have we here?
31
00:02:44,447 --> 00:02:46,642
Oh, that's a little
surprise. Tonight's the night!
32
00:02:46,716 --> 00:02:48,616
Oh, as if I didn't know.
33
00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:51,119
Mrs. Ireland's been primping since breakfast.
34
00:02:51,187 --> 00:02:53,917
- Has she? Everything all set?
- Yes, sir.
35
00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:55,787
- Dinner at midnight?
- Yes.
36
00:02:55,859 --> 00:02:59,158
- A happy anniversary, Mr. Ireland.
- Thanks, Martha.
37
00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:02,928
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
38
00:03:09,973 --> 00:03:13,272
That's funny. That wasn't
here when I came in.
39
00:03:13,343 --> 00:03:18,303
- Maybe some man just put it there.
- Oh, I don't think so.
40
00:03:18,381 --> 00:03:21,214
It would have to be a man who
knew exactly what I wanted.
41
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,308
Really?
42
00:03:22,385 --> 00:03:25,377
Oh, darling, I've always wanted a portable.
43
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:28,219
It's the best I could
rent for 35 cents a day.
44
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,818
It's pretty cheap considering
it has my initials on it.
45
00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:39,627
Well, well, well! Look at the
lovebirds! And after four years!
46
00:03:39,702 --> 00:03:42,899
Come on, let's get out of
this cross-town traffic!
47
00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:44,397
(SUSAN CHUCKLES)
48
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,736
Now, let's see, where was I?
49
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,435
Oh, yes, I know. I was right there.
50
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:48,875
Every time you mess up my lip rouge,
51
00:03:48,945 --> 00:03:50,970
it takes me ten minutes longer to get ready.
52
00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:52,275
I'll take a half hour's worth of that.
53
00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:56,011
Stop it! Stop it! I'm a married
woman! I'll tell my husband!
54
00:03:57,086 --> 00:04:00,886
- I'll tell him when he comes in.
- That does it!
55
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,255
Stevie!
56
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,852
(CHUCKLING)
57
00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:10,161
- Darling, I've got some great news for you.
- What?
58
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,563
I've decided to keep you another year.
59
00:04:12,635 --> 00:04:15,468
Maybe you haven't seen the other
models. They haven't got brakes like me.
60
00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:17,870
What brakes have you got?
61
00:04:17,941 --> 00:04:20,034
- Will you do something constructive?
- What?
62
00:04:20,109 --> 00:04:22,304
Will you ask Martha for my walking shoes?
63
00:04:22,378 --> 00:04:23,504
Your walking shoes?
64
00:04:23,579 --> 00:04:27,174
Yes. You don't expect me to walk
four miles in dancing shoes, do you?
65
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:29,582
And I'll need my heavy gloves for rowing.
66
00:04:29,652 --> 00:04:34,817
Well, look, darling, I...
I was just wondering...
67
00:04:34,891 --> 00:04:36,256
What now?
68
00:04:36,326 --> 00:04:39,090
Do you think we want to go
through all that rigmarole tonight?
69
00:04:39,162 --> 00:04:40,629
- Rigmarole?
- Yeah.
70
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,791
Oh, darling, we swore that every year
71
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,834
we'd do exactly what we
did when we were married.
72
00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:47,597
Yes, I know.
73
00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:49,365
I love that walk to the justice of the peace.
74
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:50,428
It's four miles.
75
00:04:50,506 --> 00:04:51,996
But he always gives us
sherry when we get there.
76
00:04:52,075 --> 00:04:53,269
One finger.
77
00:04:53,343 --> 00:04:55,834
- And then I row you up the river.
- That takes an hour.
78
00:04:55,912 --> 00:04:59,439
And you read our future in the
stars. That's the part I like best.
79
00:04:59,515 --> 00:05:04,179
- Last year you nearly upset the boat.
- You nearly upset the boat, you beast.
80
00:05:04,253 --> 00:05:06,084
And you weren't stargazing when you did it!
81
00:05:06,155 --> 00:05:10,649
Yes, but... Look, I've got an idea!
82
00:05:11,461 --> 00:05:13,190
Why don't we do everything we did last year
83
00:05:13,262 --> 00:05:14,854
and the year before and the year before that,
84
00:05:14,931 --> 00:05:16,899
only in reverse.
85
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,234
- In reverse?
- Yeah, backwards.
86
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:25,969
Oh, but that would mean we'd have to
take our four mile walk at midnight,
87
00:05:26,042 --> 00:05:27,942
and backwards at that.
88
00:05:28,511 --> 00:05:30,604
- Yes.
- Oh, yes.
89
00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:35,542
Well, what about the rowing?
I can't row backwards.
90
00:05:35,618 --> 00:05:37,176
Of course, you can.
91
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:40,711
Backwards is exactly
the way you do row. Yeah.
92
00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:43,987
Only that way, you row this way.
93
00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:47,052
Why, you're perfectly
right. I never realized it.
94
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:51,726
Well, then, I don't see why we
shouldn't do just as you say.
95
00:05:53,536 --> 00:05:55,003
Don't move a muscle.
96
00:05:55,071 --> 00:05:56,299
Martha!
97
00:05:57,073 --> 00:05:58,131
Martha!
98
00:05:58,207 --> 00:06:00,767
- Oh, Martha. Martha, look.
- Yes, Mr. Ireland?
99
00:06:00,843 --> 00:06:03,539
We've changed our minds about
having dinner at midnight,
100
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,444
and we decided to have
it at the regular time.
101
00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:08,143
- Oh, Mr. Ireland, not really!
- Oh, it'll be all right.
102
00:06:08,217 --> 00:06:11,243
And, Martha, will you
serve the dinner backwards?
103
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,118
- All right, sir... How?
- Backwards.
104
00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:16,988
You know, start with dessert
and finish with soup. See?
105
00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:18,459
Are you sure you want it that way?
106
00:06:18,528 --> 00:06:19,825
Oh, yes, it'll be fine, it'll be fine!
107
00:06:19,896 --> 00:06:22,296
All right, but you won't like it!
108
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,004
Well, 1:00.
109
00:06:33,743 --> 00:06:36,803
Now, let's see, what was
the first thing I did?
110
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:39,808
Oh, I turned out the lights.
111
00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:42,214
Wait, you forgot to wind the clock.
112
00:06:42,285 --> 00:06:44,719
Oh, yeah. I forgot to remember.
113
00:06:44,787 --> 00:06:46,721
Yes, I set the alarm for 12:00.
114
00:06:46,789 --> 00:06:49,280
You were going to lunch with your mother.
115
00:06:49,358 --> 00:06:52,816
The next thing you did was to
crack your ankle on that post.
116
00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:58,457
Oh, yeah. Well, if you don't mind,
I'll just skip that part of the routine.
117
00:06:58,534 --> 00:06:59,899
Then the next...
118
00:07:00,970 --> 00:07:02,460
Oh, darling,
119
00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:06,041
you know, you shouldn't be allowed
to stand in the moonlight like that.
120
00:07:06,109 --> 00:07:09,510
It ought to be against the
law, like other strong drugs.
121
00:07:09,579 --> 00:07:12,343
- I don't remember your saying that before.
- I should have.
122
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:13,404
(BANGING)
123
00:07:13,483 --> 00:07:14,507
(STEVE GROANS)
124
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:18,076
SUSAN: Oh, darling! You must be furious!
125
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:21,317
STEVE: No, dear, just
terribly, terribly hurt!
126
00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:23,619
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
127
00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:27,293
- SUSAN: Sounds like the doorbell.
- (WHISPERS) Martha will answer it.
128
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,456
SUSAN: Maybe she'll let them in.
129
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,864
STEVE: Oh, no, I'll take care of that!
130
00:07:33,803 --> 00:07:37,170
Whoever it is, they shall not pass!
131
00:07:39,475 --> 00:07:44,037
Happy anniversary to you
Happy anniversary to you
132
00:07:44,113 --> 00:07:47,139
Happy anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Ireland
133
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:49,480
Happy anniversary to you
134
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,180
That will do, boys. Best
love from mother-in- law!
135
00:07:52,255 --> 00:07:56,214
Oh, Mother! Well... Well,
that was... That was very nice.
136
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:59,193
- Four years ago today. Isn't it wonderful?
- Yes, isn't it?
137
00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:01,594
Steve, you look funny. Are you all right?
138
00:08:01,664 --> 00:08:05,156
Oh, yes, fine. That is,
except for my headache.
139
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,826
I've had a terrible headache.
140
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,770
I was thinking of sitting
in the dark for a while.
141
00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:12,535
Oh. How's my little girl
feeling? Is she all right?
142
00:08:12,608 --> 00:08:14,303
Oh, yes, she's fine, fine.
143
00:08:14,377 --> 00:08:16,038
Steve, you don't seem very glad to see me.
144
00:08:16,112 --> 00:08:18,137
You haven't even asked me in.
145
00:08:18,214 --> 00:08:20,079
Oh, well, I wonder what I could mean by that?
146
00:08:20,149 --> 00:08:24,347
Oh, there you are! Happy
anniversary, darling!
147
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,819
Oh, Mother, how are you?
148
00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:30,222
Here, wait until you see this too,
too divine rug that I've brought you.
149
00:08:30,293 --> 00:08:33,592
My dear, isn't it just too matchless?
150
00:08:34,397 --> 00:08:36,888
Don't you wonder how you
ever managed without it?
151
00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:39,434
Oh, it's lovely, Mother,
but I thought you knew
152
00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:42,096
that we had to take up the
rug you gave us last year
153
00:08:42,171 --> 00:08:44,002
because the floor is
just too highly polished.
154
00:08:44,073 --> 00:08:45,335
Oh, I remember very well,
155
00:08:45,408 --> 00:08:48,309
but the dimensions of this
rug are absolutely perfect.
156
00:08:48,377 --> 00:08:50,607
Where's Martha? Martha!
157
00:08:53,749 --> 00:08:57,082
Martha, would you fix me a little
dinner? Nothing heavy, just a bite.
158
00:08:57,153 --> 00:08:58,313
You don't mind, do you, darling?
159
00:08:58,387 --> 00:09:01,151
I know you're not dining till
midnight, so I won't be in your way.
160
00:09:01,224 --> 00:09:03,454
- But, Mother, we're...
- They ain't dining at midnight, ma'am.
161
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:04,823
They're eating at the regular time.
162
00:09:04,894 --> 00:09:08,261
Oh, how nice. Then we can all have
your anniversary dinner together.
163
00:09:08,331 --> 00:09:10,231
Now, you two don't pay any attention to me.
164
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:14,099
- You just go ahead as if I weren't here.
- Go ahead and what?
165
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:15,729
Oh, I must keep an eye on the time.
166
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,467
Your Aunt Laura is coming
in from California at 8:00.
167
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,031
8:00 railroad time?
168
00:09:20,109 --> 00:09:22,669
You know, that's 7:00 our time, in
case you're planning to meet her.
169
00:09:22,745 --> 00:09:25,009
Yes. You mustn't be late at the
station. You know how she hates
170
00:09:25,081 --> 00:09:26,275
- to be kept waiting.
- Yes.
171
00:09:26,349 --> 00:09:27,907
You two are sweet to worry about Aunt Laura,
172
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,544
but I've checked the
time and there's no hurry.
173
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,178
- I completely forgot!
- What?
174
00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:35,088
Nothing you have to dash
out and attend to, I hope.
175
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:37,648
You can mail it for me.
It's my insurance premium.
176
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,354
It must be mailed tonight
or my policy lapses.
177
00:09:39,428 --> 00:09:41,521
- I'll give it to the elevator boy.
- Oh, no, don't you dare!
178
00:09:41,597 --> 00:09:43,827
It has a check in it. I
hate to trouble you, but...
179
00:09:43,899 --> 00:09:46,459
Oh, no trouble at all. Why,
what else would I have to do?
180
00:09:46,535 --> 00:09:49,504
Thank you, Stephen. You
won't lose it, will you, dear?
181
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:51,904
No, no, no. I'll tie it around my neck.
182
00:09:51,974 --> 00:09:55,705
(CHUCKLES) Stephen, you're
so amusing. Always clowning!
183
00:09:56,912 --> 00:09:57,936
(LAUGHS)
184
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,106
Look at him!
185
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,945
- Thanks for the rug.
- Oh, you're welcome.
186
00:10:09,759 --> 00:10:12,626
JOE: Good evening, Mrs.
Grayson. ISOBEL: Good evening.
187
00:10:16,999 --> 00:10:18,466
Hello, sugar.
188
00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:21,362
Isobel!
189
00:10:21,437 --> 00:10:24,770
Oh, Stevie, darling! I haven't
seen you since you were married.
190
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,537
No. Well, four years to a day.
191
00:10:28,611 --> 00:10:31,011
Don't tell me you're not
back in circulation yet.
192
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,243
No, not me. I'm stuck
for life, and I like it.
193
00:10:34,317 --> 00:10:37,309
That doesn't sound like Stevie the party boy!
194
00:10:38,321 --> 00:10:41,256
- Weren't you married, too?
- A month after you jilted me.
195
00:10:41,324 --> 00:10:42,348
But with me, it was different.
196
00:10:42,425 --> 00:10:44,359
I had to do something
to mend my broken heart.
197
00:10:44,427 --> 00:10:46,725
Oh, your broken heart, my foot!
198
00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,525
You were glad to get rid of me!
199
00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:50,030
(CHUCKLES) Anyway, that's what I told people.
200
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:55,162
- Oh, Steve, you're looking elegant.
- Oh, really? I wasn't even trying.
201
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:58,172
- What are you doing here?
- I just moved in. You live here?
202
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,040
- Yeah, 12A.
- 11B! Well, we're neighbors.
203
00:11:02,111 --> 00:11:06,047
Remember that if you ever want
to borrow a cup of sugar, sugar.
204
00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:07,207
Well, this must be my floor.
205
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:09,774
No, I'm sorry, Mrs.
Grayson, it isn't your floor.
206
00:11:09,852 --> 00:11:13,253
As a matter of fact, it isn't
anybody's floor. The power's off again!
207
00:11:13,322 --> 00:11:15,187
I can think of a lot better places to park.
208
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,054
Hello! Hello, janitor?
209
00:11:17,126 --> 00:11:19,060
Listen, dopey. I told you
that machine was on the blink.
210
00:11:19,128 --> 00:11:20,527
Now it's stuck dead, you sap!
211
00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:22,587
I wouldn't antagonize him right now.
212
00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:24,530
Oh, he says he don't know
what's the matter with it,
213
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,295
and he don't know how long it'll take to fix.
214
00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:27,358
What are you going to do?
215
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,131
Well, we'll have to go out through the top.
216
00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:30,331
Through the top?
217
00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:32,499
You'd better knock. The
people upstairs might be busy.
218
00:11:32,575 --> 00:11:35,874
- Give me a boost, will you, Mr. Ireland?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
219
00:11:37,079 --> 00:11:38,546
STEVE: There you are.
220
00:11:38,981 --> 00:11:41,142
Well, I guess you're next.
221
00:11:41,217 --> 00:11:42,206
Alley-oop!
222
00:11:43,052 --> 00:11:46,453
- How is your acrobatic work?
- It hasn't changed much.
223
00:11:47,189 --> 00:11:50,454
Now, just... Here, you put
your foot on my shoulder.
224
00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:52,858
I better take these off. I
don't want to stab you to death.
225
00:11:52,928 --> 00:11:54,293
Oh, thanks.
226
00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:56,221
I guess I wouldn't look
so well in footprints.
227
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:57,287
(DOG BARKS)
228
00:11:57,366 --> 00:11:58,594
Oh, Punkins.
229
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:01,431
- Come on, Punkins.
- Oh, yes, Punkins, huh?
230
00:12:01,504 --> 00:12:03,529
Say, whatever happened to
that wirehair I gave you?
231
00:12:03,606 --> 00:12:06,632
He disappeared about the
same time you did, you thief!
232
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,201
Me?
233
00:12:08,277 --> 00:12:11,303
I'm sorry I ran into you, Stevie.
You bring back that old feeling!
234
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:13,848
Oh, you mean that old feeling
that threw a flowerpot at me
235
00:12:13,916 --> 00:12:15,213
the last time you saw me?
236
00:12:15,284 --> 00:12:18,447
I'll never forgive myself
for that. The geraniums died!
237
00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:22,485
(ISOBEL LAUGHING)
238
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,627
What's the matter? Is my
face tickling your foot?
239
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,631
The last thing you said to me four years ago
240
00:12:32,701 --> 00:12:36,262
was that you were not going
to let me walk all over you!
241
00:12:38,274 --> 00:12:41,004
Oh, yes, it seems to come back to me now.
242
00:12:41,544 --> 00:12:43,171
Hey, can you give me a hand there, Joe?
243
00:12:43,245 --> 00:12:46,373
Of course, this elevator would
never stick when my mother...
244
00:12:46,449 --> 00:12:48,542
My mother-in-law
was in it.
245
00:12:50,319 --> 00:12:52,651
Yeah, probably ran like a clock.
246
00:12:52,721 --> 00:12:55,383
- Nice place they have here.
- Yeah.
247
00:12:55,458 --> 00:12:56,447
A lovely view.
248
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:59,221
Wonder what would happen if
we went on up to the roof?
249
00:12:59,295 --> 00:13:00,421
Jelly.
250
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,589
Oh, well, here we are.
251
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:07,102
Now, let's see... Oh,
yes. Punkins, out you go.
252
00:13:07,736 --> 00:13:10,671
Now... Well, I guess perhaps
I'd better crawl out first.
253
00:13:10,739 --> 00:13:13,207
Here, Joe, hold those doors, will you?
254
00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:16,733
Stephen, play like it's a
transom you're climbing over.
255
00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:18,945
ISOBEL: Where you going?
256
00:13:19,348 --> 00:13:20,747
(GRUNTING)
257
00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:23,715
Oh, quick, do something! Steve!
258
00:13:24,086 --> 00:13:26,577
Hurry! Hurry!
259
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,721
Oh, for heaven's sakes, hurry!
260
00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:35,991
Hang on, Steve, we'll be right back!
261
00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:37,421
ISOBEL: Hurry!
262
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,432
(GROANING)
263
00:13:43,839 --> 00:13:45,329
Get away!
264
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:48,069
No! No, no, no, no.
265
00:13:49,945 --> 00:13:51,435
No!
266
00:13:52,147 --> 00:13:54,172
(STEVE SHOUTING)
267
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,014
Just another second. I'm gonna be
right there. Come on, Joe, step on it.
268
00:13:58,187 --> 00:14:01,486
ISOBEL: All right, take it easy,
take it easy. A little further now.
269
00:14:02,057 --> 00:14:04,082
Stop! Hold it, hold it, that's enough!
270
00:14:04,159 --> 00:14:06,627
You're going to go too far! Hold it!
271
00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:08,686
No, no, that's all right. Stop.
272
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,756
Quick! I mean slow! Slow. There, that's...
273
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,326
Stop!
274
00:14:13,402 --> 00:14:15,734
Go down. Down.
275
00:14:16,672 --> 00:14:18,936
Hey! Down!
276
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:21,502
(GROANING)
277
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,044
Steve, are you hurt?
278
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,947
Oh, you need a drink!
279
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:35,514
Gee... Gee, you scared me to death!
280
00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:38,958
Come on, Steve, sit right
over here. There, sit down.
281
00:14:39,428 --> 00:14:43,364
You're going to be all right. You
looked like a fly on a flagpole.
282
00:14:43,432 --> 00:14:44,831
I thought you were gonna fall any minute.
283
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,164
Here. This ought to help you.
284
00:14:48,938 --> 00:14:50,667
Now do you feel better?
285
00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:54,175
Oh, we have to do better than
that. Here, take some more.
286
00:14:54,243 --> 00:14:55,608
How's that?
287
00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,908
I still feel as if I'm choking.
288
00:15:00,015 --> 00:15:03,007
Oh, my goodness, you
are! Here, let me fix it.
289
00:15:05,588 --> 00:15:09,149
- There, is that better?
- Oh, oh, yeah.
290
00:15:09,224 --> 00:15:12,557
- It's all right now.
- Take another sip.
291
00:15:14,463 --> 00:15:18,024
Just relax and take it easy! Sit back.
You'll be all right in just a minute.
292
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,500
You're lucky you can even swallow.
293
00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:24,061
Yeah, if I couldn't swallow,
I wouldn't want to live.
294
00:15:24,139 --> 00:15:26,300
(CHUCKLING) Same old Stevie!
295
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,503
Oh, boy! Was that close!
296
00:15:28,577 --> 00:15:31,808
- This is like old times, isn't it?
- Yes, isn't it?
297
00:15:33,248 --> 00:15:37,014
Yes, a little too much like
old times. I'm married now.
298
00:15:37,086 --> 00:15:39,520
Well, so am I. What's that got to do with it?
299
00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:41,385
Can't I give an old pal a little first aid?
300
00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:45,484
Oh, well, I remember your first aid,
Isobel. You... You don't stick to the rules.
301
00:15:45,561 --> 00:15:49,088
Oh, you couldn't have gotten
that stuffy in just four years.
302
00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:52,031
Let's see if marriage has taken
all the laughter out of you!
303
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:53,159
STEVE: (LAUGHING) You...
304
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:55,160
No... Isobel!
305
00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:58,599
You... Don't... Now, let me up!
306
00:15:59,141 --> 00:16:00,506
Isobel, stop!
307
00:16:00,576 --> 00:16:02,874
- Now, no... Don't...
- I thought so! You are alive.
308
00:16:02,945 --> 00:16:04,674
Yeah, but I wouldn't be
long if your husband came in.
309
00:16:04,747 --> 00:16:07,409
- Oh, Pinky. Don't worry about him.
- I'll worry about him if I want to.
310
00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:10,281
I wanna tickle you. You look
so cute when you're shocked.
311
00:16:10,352 --> 00:16:14,152
Don't. Please, Isobel. I've
had a very trying day...
312
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,212
(EX CLAIMS)
313
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:21,086
- Oh, well, who's that?
- That's Eloise. Pinky uses her for a model.
314
00:16:21,163 --> 00:16:22,687
Say, where is this Pinky of yours?
315
00:16:22,765 --> 00:16:25,632
He's in his studio up on the roof
painting some old guy's portrait.
316
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:27,032
He won't be down for days!
317
00:16:27,102 --> 00:16:29,093
Oh, Stevie, I'm bored!
318
00:16:29,171 --> 00:16:31,765
- You know what?
- Yes, I do know what!
319
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,071
- What?
- I... I'm gonna leave.
320
00:16:35,144 --> 00:16:36,441
That's not as good as my what!
321
00:16:36,512 --> 00:16:38,776
Let's duck down to Tony's and
bend an elbow with the old gang!
322
00:16:38,847 --> 00:16:40,280
You see, I... I've got to go to dinner.
323
00:16:40,349 --> 00:16:41,782
Telephone your wife
you're stuck at the office.
324
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:44,148
- Let's play hooky.
- No. My... My hooky days are over.
325
00:16:44,219 --> 00:16:45,811
I got to run.
326
00:16:45,888 --> 00:16:48,413
You weren't married, you were embalmed!
327
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,427
MRS. COOPER: Steve Ireland,
where have you been?
328
00:16:53,495 --> 00:16:55,486
Why, you're all dirty!
What on earth happened?
329
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:59,557
- Darling, what's wrong?
- The thing... The elevator, it broke down.
330
00:16:59,635 --> 00:17:03,901
Dear me, it didn't take you all this
time to walk up just 12 flights of stairs!
331
00:17:03,972 --> 00:17:07,339
Well, I did waste a little time
trying to avoid being killed.
332
00:17:07,409 --> 00:17:10,003
Oh, darling, was there an accident?
Are you sure you're not hurt?
333
00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:13,412
Oh, no, no, I'm fine now, but...
Oh, boy, it was a close escape!
334
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:14,540
- Oh, darling!
- Angel!
335
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,107
Oh, your hat. Steve, you've lost your hat.
336
00:17:18,487 --> 00:17:20,978
Oh, I guess I must have left it
in the elevator when I climbed out.
337
00:17:21,056 --> 00:17:22,080
You see, honey...
338
00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:23,988
Shall I telephone for them to send it up?
339
00:17:24,059 --> 00:17:26,687
Oh, no, no. I'll... I'll get it later.
340
00:17:27,529 --> 00:17:29,121
I guess I'll have to change.
341
00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:31,689
Just come in here with me, dear, will you?
342
00:17:32,434 --> 00:17:33,765
Hello? Hello?
343
00:17:33,836 --> 00:17:37,966
Will you ask the elevator boy
for Mr. Ireland's hat, please?
344
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,405
Thank you.
345
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:43,073
How do you like my new neck, dear?
346
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,339
You know, it must have stretched a foot
347
00:17:44,413 --> 00:17:47,576
while I was hanging there waiting
for the elevator to get back up again.
348
00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:50,379
Susan, is this the only course
we're going to have for dinner?
349
00:17:50,452 --> 00:17:51,680
No, dear...
350
00:17:51,787 --> 00:17:54,756
Oh, I forgot. It's a little mistake.
351
00:17:54,857 --> 00:17:57,325
It was Steve's idea to have dinner backwards.
352
00:17:57,392 --> 00:17:58,791
Dinner backwards?
353
00:17:59,094 --> 00:18:01,528
Yeah, on account of our anniversary.
354
00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:04,395
(CHUCKLES) Oh, I see. Yes.
355
00:18:04,466 --> 00:18:06,798
Martha, we'll have it the regular way.
356
00:18:06,869 --> 00:18:09,269
I told you, you wouldn't like it that way.
357
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:13,035
The elevator boy found your hat.
It was in Mrs. Grayson's apartment.
358
00:18:13,108 --> 00:18:15,269
Mrs. Grayson? Who's that?
359
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:18,802
Oh, yes, gee, I forgot to
tell you about that, dear.
360
00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:22,308
Isobel Kimble, that is,
Isobel Grayson she is now.
361
00:18:22,384 --> 00:18:25,979
Well, they live right underneath
us here, she and her husband, Pinky.
362
00:18:26,054 --> 00:18:28,579
She was in the elevator when it broke down,
363
00:18:28,657 --> 00:18:33,185
so I went in with her for a minute,
and I guess that's where I left my hat.
364
00:18:33,262 --> 00:18:35,423
Isobel Kimble. That's the
girl who gave you a black eye
365
00:18:35,497 --> 00:18:38,432
when you told her you were going to marry me.
366
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:43,767
Yes, but she's married now and got a husband.
367
00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:46,364
Really? Whose husband has she got?
368
00:18:46,441 --> 00:18:48,807
Susan, now don't let Stephen
think that you don't trust him.
369
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,970
Stephen knows very well how
I feel about Isobel Kimble.
370
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:53,173
- Don't you, dear?
- Now, honey-pot!
371
00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:58,481
What did Mr. Pinky Grayson think when
he saw you walking in with his wife?
372
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,146
Oh, he wasn't...
373
00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:02,947
Well, what do you think he thought?
374
00:19:03,025 --> 00:19:06,290
He thought, "There's Steve
Ireland walking in with my wife. "
375
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:11,192
It's the elevator boy again. He
says Mrs. Grayson wants her shoes.
376
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:16,834
Oh, well, I guess they
must be in my other coat.
377
00:19:17,306 --> 00:19:18,398
Well!
378
00:19:18,841 --> 00:19:20,331
That's how Steve dresses me, you know.
379
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,900
He steals a pair of
shoes here, a dress there.
380
00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:26,141
All I have to buy are my
underthings, thank heaven.
381
00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:29,651
Stephen, tell us your story of
how you got Mrs. Grayson's shoes.
382
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,722
She took them off to stand on my shoulders.
383
00:19:35,357 --> 00:19:37,052
Sounds like fun.
384
00:19:37,492 --> 00:19:39,517
Well, it wasn't fun.
385
00:19:40,062 --> 00:19:44,522
Excuse me. Mrs. Grayson wants
to know if you took her Punkins.
386
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,228
Mmm-hmm?
387
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:49,926
(CHAIR FALLS)
388
00:19:50,672 --> 00:19:52,333
Punkins is her dog!
389
00:19:52,407 --> 00:19:53,396
Oh!
390
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:57,438
- Too bad you have to eat and run, Mother.
- Thank you, Stephen.
391
00:19:57,512 --> 00:20:01,278
I do hope you children have enjoyed
the evening as much as I have.
392
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:04,183
Oh, I must write down that
new recipe for hollandaise.
393
00:20:04,253 --> 00:20:06,016
Oh, you haven't time,
Mother. It's nearly 8:00.
394
00:20:06,088 --> 00:20:08,886
- You'll miss Aunt Laura.
- Oh, I mustn't do that.
395
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,187
Still, if I don't do it now,
it means making another trip.
396
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:12,284
Not really, Mother.
397
00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:13,828
There's a new invention called the telephone.
398
00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:17,354
- They tell me it works like a charm.
- That's what I'll do, I'll telephone.
399
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:18,990
- Good night, darling.
- Good night, dear.
400
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:20,364
- Good night, Stephen.
- Good night, Mother.
401
00:20:20,435 --> 00:20:22,630
Happy anniversary, children.
402
00:20:23,105 --> 00:20:24,197
(SCREAMS)
403
00:20:29,544 --> 00:20:34,572
- Oh, Mother! Are you all right?
- No. It's my ankle. I've sprained it again.
404
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,481
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll call a doctor.
405
00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:39,520
Yes... No, don't you think it'd be
better if she went to a hospital?
406
00:20:39,588 --> 00:20:42,648
No, I'd rather stay here.
Help me onto a couch, Stephen.
407
00:20:42,724 --> 00:20:43,986
(GROANING)
408
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,923
I'll show you how to bind it,
Stephen. Have you got a bandage?
409
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,396
I hope not. I mean, I don't think so.
410
00:20:51,099 --> 00:20:52,726
- Does it hurt?
- Of course, it hurts, dear.
411
00:20:52,801 --> 00:20:53,790
Oh, that's right.
412
00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:56,497
Oh, what on earth are we
going to do about Aunt Laura?
413
00:20:56,571 --> 00:20:57,697
Susan, you'll have to meet her.
414
00:20:57,773 --> 00:21:00,503
Well, can't Martha go?
415
00:21:00,575 --> 00:21:02,975
- Oh, I'm sorry, darling. Martha's gone.
- Gone?
416
00:21:03,045 --> 00:21:05,536
Say, what does she do
after dinner, evaporate?
417
00:21:05,614 --> 00:21:06,979
Well, I suppose I'll have to go.
418
00:21:07,049 --> 00:21:09,449
How can you meet her, Stephen?
You don't even know her.
419
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,715
- Oh, no, well...
- Run along, Susan.
420
00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:15,018
Oh, I hate to go, darling, but I have to.
421
00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:18,685
- You only have to drive her to Westvale.
- Westvale?
422
00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:21,994
Why, that'll take half
the night. Look, Susan!
423
00:21:22,564 --> 00:21:25,192
Look, honey-darling. It's
our one night of the year.
424
00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:27,360
- I know.
- Well, can't we get out of it someway?
425
00:21:27,436 --> 00:21:31,372
- Well, what would you suggest?
- Oh, shove Aunt Laura under a truck.
426
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,533
I'll see what I can do. Goodbye, dear.
427
00:21:33,608 --> 00:21:35,667
- Hurry, Susan.
- Yes, Mother.
428
00:21:35,744 --> 00:21:38,269
- And don't worry about me, dear.
- No, Mother.
429
00:21:38,347 --> 00:21:43,546
Susan, I'm so dreadfully afraid that
you're going to miss that train, dear.
430
00:21:43,618 --> 00:21:44,642
Goodbye, baby.
431
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,948
MRS. COOPER: Stephen!
432
00:21:46,922 --> 00:21:48,651
Happy anniversary, honey-pot.
433
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:49,952
Stephen!
434
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:54,586
Stephen, I do think that you should
have warned me about that rug.
435
00:21:56,999 --> 00:22:00,025
I'm doing it better. I think I'll
soon be able to beat any of the girls.
436
00:22:00,102 --> 00:22:02,662
All right, Stephen. Stephen?
437
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,672
- May I have the cards again, please?
- Oh, yes.
438
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:08,107
And do stop mooning about Susan.
She'll be back in a couple of hours.
439
00:22:08,176 --> 00:22:09,507
Oh, yes, sure.
440
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,911
I don't mind picking up
cards for a couple of hours.
441
00:22:13,849 --> 00:22:14,941
They hardly weigh a thing.
442
00:22:15,017 --> 00:22:18,544
Well, Stephen, it certainly will
help take down your waistline.
443
00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:19,848
Won't it.
444
00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:25,086
Look, if you don't mind, I think I'll
have a little breath of fresh air.
445
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,822
All right, but don't stay long.
I'll want you again in a few minutes.
446
00:22:27,896 --> 00:22:31,627
- Will 20 seconds be all right?
- Of course.
447
00:22:35,404 --> 00:22:36,803
(EX CLAIMS)
448
00:22:37,372 --> 00:22:40,307
Hey, Gargantua! Where's your keeper?
449
00:22:40,375 --> 00:22:41,569
Hello!
450
00:22:41,643 --> 00:22:45,773
Don't tell me you haven't gone to
bed by 9:00, or are you sleep-walking?
451
00:22:46,982 --> 00:22:49,280
If you must know, I'm
spending a quiet evening alone
452
00:22:49,351 --> 00:22:50,375
with my
mother-in-law.
453
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,477
And I'm thinking of jumping off the roof.
454
00:22:52,554 --> 00:22:54,749
Then jump right down here, my beamish boy.
455
00:22:54,823 --> 00:22:58,725
- Aunt Isobel will take you places.
- Oh, I couldn't do that.
456
00:22:59,327 --> 00:23:03,525
Come on, it's a wonderful night
for falling down on a dance floor.
457
00:23:03,598 --> 00:23:04,997
No, I can't.
458
00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:09,101
MRS. COOPER: Stephen! Will
you come pick them up, please?
459
00:23:09,171 --> 00:23:11,765
Why can't I? Hey, maybe I could.
460
00:23:12,574 --> 00:23:13,802
Stephen!
461
00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:19,247
Look! I'll tell you what I'll do.
462
00:23:19,314 --> 00:23:23,182
You call me up on the telephone
right away and let me do the talking.
463
00:23:23,251 --> 00:23:25,549
Okay, sugar. It's on the fire.
464
00:23:31,927 --> 00:23:34,020
Well, shot the whole deck already, huh?
465
00:23:34,096 --> 00:23:35,495
And how many did you get in this time?
466
00:23:35,564 --> 00:23:37,532
Oh, quite a few. I'm
getting better all the time.
467
00:23:37,599 --> 00:23:39,590
Yes. Well, you know, practice does it.
468
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:42,068
It looks like a beautiful night
outside. Is the moon shining?
469
00:23:42,137 --> 00:23:43,661
Oh, yes. Oh, the moon?
470
00:23:43,738 --> 00:23:44,762
(PHONE RINGING)
471
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,671
Oh, excuse me, Mother.
472
00:23:46,741 --> 00:23:49,073
Hello? This is Steve Ireland.
473
00:23:49,811 --> 00:23:50,869
Who?
474
00:23:51,546 --> 00:23:54,845
J. B! Well, you old rascal!
475
00:23:57,552 --> 00:23:59,884
Yes, J.B. Oh, is that so?
476
00:23:59,955 --> 00:24:03,083
Well, look, J.B., I'll dash right
over. It'll only take me a minute.
477
00:24:03,158 --> 00:24:06,093
Yes, J.B. Okay, J.B.
478
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:09,755
Oh, dear! That's... That's
very unfortunate. It's...
479
00:24:09,831 --> 00:24:11,162
Hello, this is Mr. Ireland.
480
00:24:11,233 --> 00:24:13,497
Would you call me a taxi,
please, right away? Yes, thanks.
481
00:24:13,568 --> 00:24:16,128
I'm so sorry, Mother. You know,
I wouldn't do this for everybody,
482
00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:17,967
but I hate to lose an account like J.B.'s.
483
00:24:18,039 --> 00:24:21,236
Oh, that's quite all right, Stephen,
if you really think you should go.
484
00:24:21,309 --> 00:24:23,539
Yes, yes. Well, I... I... I do.
485
00:24:23,612 --> 00:24:25,705
I'll see you later, Mother.
486
00:24:26,581 --> 00:24:30,449
And... And don't think that it
hasn't been fun because it hasn't.
487
00:24:42,430 --> 00:24:44,796
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, dear.
488
00:24:44,866 --> 00:24:47,460
Well, I finally got Aunt Laura bedded down.
489
00:24:47,536 --> 00:24:48,594
That's good.
490
00:24:48,670 --> 00:24:50,934
An infantry division would have been easier.
491
00:24:51,006 --> 00:24:53,372
- How's your ankle?
- Oh, my ankle isn't troubling me anymore.
492
00:24:53,441 --> 00:24:55,500
That's good. Stevie!
493
00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:57,977
I'll be very much surprised
if you find him in there.
494
00:24:58,046 --> 00:24:59,274
Really?
495
00:24:59,948 --> 00:25:02,781
- Where is he?
- I'm sure I couldn't say.
496
00:25:02,851 --> 00:25:06,617
Mother, there's that smile again.
What are you trying to tell me?
497
00:25:06,688 --> 00:25:09,657
I heard Stephen talking
to that Grayson woman.
498
00:25:10,091 --> 00:25:11,183
Isobel Grayson?
499
00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:15,389
Yes, he told her to call him
here, and he'd arrange to get away.
500
00:25:18,099 --> 00:25:20,727
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.
501
00:25:20,802 --> 00:25:23,862
She called here and pretended
she was a business friend, a J.B.
502
00:25:23,939 --> 00:25:27,670
He ordered a taxicab, and
they've been gone for three hours.
503
00:25:30,845 --> 00:25:33,678
Steve said they lived
directly below us, didn't he?
504
00:25:33,748 --> 00:25:36,012
Susan, tell me, what are you going to do?
505
00:25:36,084 --> 00:25:37,915
Mother, I think you'd better run along now.
506
00:25:37,986 --> 00:25:41,285
- Yes, of course, but I should think you...
- Please, Mother.
507
00:25:41,356 --> 00:25:42,482
Well!
508
00:25:48,029 --> 00:25:50,395
Goodnight, dear. But if you
take my advice, you'll...
509
00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:53,491
- Mother, I'll handle this.
- Very well.
510
00:26:00,342 --> 00:26:03,675
Hello? Connect me with the
Grayson apartment, please.
511
00:26:04,112 --> 00:26:05,773
Mr. Grayson's apartment?
512
00:26:05,847 --> 00:26:07,439
Yes, that's right, Grayson.
513
00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:19,184
- Yes?
- Hello. Is Mr. Ireland there?
514
00:26:19,694 --> 00:26:21,559
Mr. Ireland? No. Certainly not!
515
00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:24,222
Well, is Mrs. Grayson there?
516
00:26:24,566 --> 00:26:27,865
Mrs. Grayson? No, she's not.
There's nobody here, and I'm busy.
517
00:26:28,370 --> 00:26:30,770
Well, I'm sorry to bother you,
but when do you expect them back?
518
00:26:31,306 --> 00:26:34,969
Well, I don't expect them
back... Say, wait a minute.
519
00:26:35,043 --> 00:26:37,511
You mean that my wife's
out with Steve Ireland?
520
00:26:38,413 --> 00:26:43,248
Well, yes, she is, but, of course, I
don't mean that there's anything wrong.
521
00:26:43,318 --> 00:26:45,479
- Who is this?
- This is Mrs. Ireland.
522
00:26:46,388 --> 00:26:48,356
Well, you may not think
there's anything wrong,
523
00:26:48,423 --> 00:26:51,017
but if your husband's starting
to fool around with Isobel again,
524
00:26:51,092 --> 00:26:52,389
I'll break his back.
525
00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:57,028
Oh, no. No, I'm sure that won't be necessary.
526
00:26:57,565 --> 00:27:00,398
No? Well, then just what do
you think I should do about it?
527
00:27:01,002 --> 00:27:05,905
Well, tell me, Mr. Grayson,
are you good looking?
528
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,099
Am I good...
529
00:27:08,176 --> 00:27:10,644
Hey, are you kidding me? What's on your mind?
530
00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:15,004
If Steve were to walk in and
find me, say, kissing you,
531
00:27:15,450 --> 00:27:17,714
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't
have any more trouble with him.
532
00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:21,650
I get it.
533
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:23,281
Give them a taste of their own medicine, huh?
534
00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:25,052
It's a great idea.
535
00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:27,655
All right, wait for me. I'll
be there in a few minutes.
536
00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:29,955
Say, wait a minute. What do you look like?
537
00:27:30,632 --> 00:27:34,329
Look, I'll tell you what I'll
do. I'll bring some pictures.
538
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:43,639
(DOORBELL RINGING)
539
00:27:51,786 --> 00:27:53,151
- Hello.
- Hello.
540
00:27:53,221 --> 00:27:56,384
- Say, you are good looking.
- What?
541
00:27:56,458 --> 00:28:00,326
- That makes everything perfect.
- Well, thanks very much...
542
00:28:00,395 --> 00:28:02,090
I think we better turn
out some of these lights.
543
00:28:02,163 --> 00:28:04,563
It'll make it look more romantic.
544
00:28:08,336 --> 00:28:11,203
Pardon me. I can't for the
moment remember where we met.
545
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:15,174
I don't think we ever did. I've seen
you in the elevator now and then.
546
00:28:15,243 --> 00:28:17,473
Oh, so that was it.
547
00:28:18,279 --> 00:28:21,077
I know what would help.
Let's have something to drink.
548
00:28:21,149 --> 00:28:24,710
Oh, pardon me, of course, of course.
549
00:28:27,055 --> 00:28:30,115
Well, now let's see, what'll you have?
I don't suppose you care for whiskey.
550
00:28:30,191 --> 00:28:32,785
Why not? Perfect. But perfect.
551
00:28:32,861 --> 00:28:36,353
Yeah? Well, how will you
have it, highball or straight?
552
00:28:36,431 --> 00:28:38,592
Oh, just spread it around the room.
553
00:28:40,535 --> 00:28:43,333
All right, if that's the way you want it.
554
00:28:44,005 --> 00:28:47,441
What are you... Oh, that's a good idea.
555
00:28:47,509 --> 00:28:50,967
- It'll smell like an orgy.
- I never did this before.
556
00:28:51,045 --> 00:28:53,343
Say, wouldn't you care
to drink a little of it?
557
00:28:53,415 --> 00:28:55,610
A little on the breath would help.
558
00:28:55,683 --> 00:28:58,049
Tell me, dear, how did you
ever happen to think of this?
559
00:28:58,119 --> 00:29:00,349
Well, when I thought about my
husband being out with another woman,
560
00:29:00,422 --> 00:29:03,721
- I decided to teach him a lesson.
- Oh, I see.
561
00:29:03,792 --> 00:29:05,760
Well, we'll teach him
a good lesson, won't we?
562
00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:07,522
We certainly will.
563
00:29:07,595 --> 00:29:11,224
- I think I'll put some lip rouge on you now.
- And why not?
564
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,601
Oh, come, come, we can do
better than that, can't we?
565
00:29:16,905 --> 00:29:19,931
- Please! Please!
- Well, what's the matter?
566
00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:23,774
- Well, there's no particular hurry about it.
- All right, have it your way.
567
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:25,642
- What's all this?
- I shoot a little.
568
00:29:25,713 --> 00:29:26,737
Can you hit anything with it?
569
00:29:26,815 --> 00:29:29,147
Once in a while. I just happen
to be the world's champion.
570
00:29:29,217 --> 00:29:30,479
Not really.
571
00:29:30,552 --> 00:29:32,747
- Shall I put an apple on my head?
- You'd be perfectly safe.
572
00:29:32,821 --> 00:29:34,618
- Here, I'll show you.
- Shh!
573
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:36,854
Oh, I thought... What are you doing?
574
00:29:36,925 --> 00:29:40,884
I can't shoot unless my torso's
free, if you'll pardon the expression.
575
00:29:40,962 --> 00:29:42,486
You know, it's the same thing with Indians.
576
00:29:42,564 --> 00:29:45,499
You put a coat on them, and
they can't hit their hats.
577
00:29:45,567 --> 00:29:47,592
I didn't know Indians wore hats.
578
00:29:48,436 --> 00:29:51,735
- There you are.
- Oh, quick! Hold me. Grab me.
579
00:29:52,273 --> 00:29:54,571
No, no. No, not here. No, over here.
580
00:29:55,376 --> 00:29:57,469
Swell. Kiss me.
581
00:30:01,583 --> 00:30:04,575
Oh, you're beautiful. What have
I ever done to deserve this?
582
00:30:04,652 --> 00:30:07,382
- It must have been somebody else.
- Who?
583
00:30:07,455 --> 00:30:09,320
I don't know. Whoever it was.
584
00:30:09,390 --> 00:30:11,756
You know, you're not the easiest
girl in the world to understand.
585
00:30:11,826 --> 00:30:12,884
Why not?
586
00:30:12,961 --> 00:30:15,759
Well, you do seem to,
sort of, blow hot and cold.
587
00:30:15,830 --> 00:30:17,661
- How do you mean?
- You're moody.
588
00:30:17,732 --> 00:30:19,165
Sometimes you're abandoned and gay
589
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:23,466
and then suddenly you become
reserved, cautious, afraid of life.
590
00:30:23,538 --> 00:30:25,301
You're a little peculiar yourself.
591
00:30:25,373 --> 00:30:28,467
Oh, I'm not really, not
when you get to know me.
592
00:30:28,543 --> 00:30:30,738
Oh, now, now, quick! Kiss me!
593
00:30:33,948 --> 00:30:37,076
Stop it! Let go! It wasn't they.
594
00:30:37,151 --> 00:30:42,612
- There you go again. Who wasn't who?
- My husband. I thought I heard his voice.
595
00:30:42,690 --> 00:30:45,682
- Oh, so that's your game, eh?
- What game?
596
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,751
Your husband was gonna come
in here and find you with me.
597
00:30:47,829 --> 00:30:51,265
- That was your plan, wasn't it?
- Why, yes, that was our plan. That's right.
598
00:30:51,332 --> 00:30:54,267
And he was gonna hold me up for a nice
piece of change to forget about it.
599
00:30:54,335 --> 00:30:55,734
So that's your racket, eh?
600
00:30:55,803 --> 00:30:58,465
- Oh, don't be silly. Steve...
- Shut up!
601
00:30:59,007 --> 00:31:01,567
Now, you wanted a scene for
your husband to walk in on.
602
00:31:01,643 --> 00:31:03,804
Well, you're going to get one, a beaut!
603
00:31:03,878 --> 00:31:07,075
And if he squawks, I'll turn
you both over to the police.
604
00:31:07,148 --> 00:31:08,740
Now, come on, lady. Come on.
605
00:31:08,816 --> 00:31:10,477
- Oh, my! Keep away from me.
- Take it easy.
606
00:31:10,552 --> 00:31:13,544
- Help! Help!
- Hey, wait! Baby, wait a minute!
607
00:31:16,190 --> 00:31:17,384
Please! Please, listen to me!
608
00:31:17,458 --> 00:31:20,018
You're misunderstanding the whole thing.
609
00:31:20,094 --> 00:31:22,324
I swear there's nothing more to the situation
610
00:31:22,397 --> 00:31:24,865
than what I told you on the telephone.
611
00:31:24,933 --> 00:31:27,424
Please, believe me, Mr. Grayson.
612
00:31:27,502 --> 00:31:29,026
What did you call me?
613
00:31:29,103 --> 00:31:31,435
- (GASPS) Oh, don't you...
- Well, wait...
614
00:31:32,140 --> 00:31:35,632
- Steve! Steve!
- Hey! Wait a minute! Wait! Wait!
615
00:31:35,710 --> 00:31:37,803
Let go of me, Mr. Grayson,
or I'll scream like an eagle.
616
00:31:37,879 --> 00:31:40,575
- Wait a minute. I'm not Mr. Grayson.
- You're not?
617
00:31:40,648 --> 00:31:43,116
No, that's Grayson's
apartment across the hall.
618
00:31:43,184 --> 00:31:45,209
Oh, but... Then who...
619
00:31:48,089 --> 00:31:50,819
Well, then you thought
that I... How dared you!
620
00:31:50,892 --> 00:31:52,985
Hey, take it easy!
621
00:31:53,061 --> 00:31:54,392
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
622
00:31:54,462 --> 00:31:56,589
Well, I guess I can't blame you very much.
623
00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:58,256
What a stupid mistake.
624
00:31:58,333 --> 00:32:01,325
Oh, there's no harm done, not
unless your hair's turned white.
625
00:32:01,402 --> 00:32:02,494
- Has it?
- No.
626
00:32:02,570 --> 00:32:05,596
But I bet you won't forget
this experience in a hurry.
627
00:32:05,673 --> 00:32:08,369
I'll never forget it as long as I live.
628
00:32:08,643 --> 00:32:12,773
- Susan, what... What are you doing here?
- Well, well, the breadwinner.
629
00:32:12,847 --> 00:32:14,337
How's business?
630
00:32:14,415 --> 00:32:16,906
Who's this? Don't tell me that's Aunt Laura!
631
00:32:16,985 --> 00:32:19,215
Oh, my name's Willoughby, Ward Willoughby.
632
00:32:19,287 --> 00:32:22,415
He's Aunt Laura if that's
J.B. Oh, don't go, J.B.
633
00:32:22,490 --> 00:32:24,856
I hear you're an expert
in holding corporations.
634
00:32:24,926 --> 00:32:25,950
Are you talking to me?
635
00:32:26,027 --> 00:32:28,052
Look, I don't want to be
tiresome, but who is this?
636
00:32:28,129 --> 00:32:30,393
The name's Willoughby, Ward Willoughby.
637
00:32:30,465 --> 00:32:32,660
Aren't you cold like that?
638
00:32:32,734 --> 00:32:35,703
Mrs. Grayson's always so
worried about men being cold.
639
00:32:35,770 --> 00:32:39,228
At the moment, you're hardly in a
position to criticize anyone's behavior.
640
00:32:39,307 --> 00:32:41,502
Oh, now, look, Isobel. That's
not a nice thing to say.
641
00:32:41,576 --> 00:32:43,976
Shut up! If you were half a
man, you'd beat his head off.
642
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:45,569
Look, I'm Ward Willoughby...
643
00:32:45,647 --> 00:32:48,980
- Well, is that called for?
- Well, what do you think?
644
00:32:49,283 --> 00:32:51,046
Well, if that's what's expected of me.
645
00:32:51,119 --> 00:32:54,020
Oh, now, stop it! Stop it! This
gentleman's a friend of mine.
646
00:32:54,088 --> 00:32:55,248
This is my husband, Steve Ireland.
647
00:32:55,323 --> 00:32:58,258
- I'm Ward Willoughby. How do you do.
- How do you do.
648
00:32:58,326 --> 00:33:00,260
Well, what the devil do
I mean, "How do you do"?
649
00:33:00,328 --> 00:33:01,955
What are you doing with
my wife dressed like that?
650
00:33:02,030 --> 00:33:03,054
I'm not dressed like that.
651
00:33:03,131 --> 00:33:05,258
Look, I was in my
apartment, minding my own...
652
00:33:05,333 --> 00:33:06,823
Oh, don't bother to explain.
653
00:33:06,901 --> 00:33:10,667
First, I want to know what you were doing
out with the chamber of commerce, here?
654
00:33:10,738 --> 00:33:12,228
Well, I think I'd better tell him what...
655
00:33:12,306 --> 00:33:14,740
I came down here...
656
00:33:14,809 --> 00:33:17,209
Everything that's happened
is your fault, Steve Ireland!
657
00:33:17,278 --> 00:33:19,371
- Well, what's going on here?
- Hello, darling.
658
00:33:19,447 --> 00:33:22,143
- Did you finish your picture?
- You keep quiet. I'll attend to you later.
659
00:33:22,216 --> 00:33:23,683
Well, now, Mrs. Ireland,
if you'll pardon me...
660
00:33:23,751 --> 00:33:24,775
Oh, are you Mrs. Ireland?
661
00:33:24,852 --> 00:33:28,049
Well, I've been waiting for you up
in my studio for the last 20 minutes.
662
00:33:28,122 --> 00:33:29,111
Another one?
663
00:33:29,190 --> 00:33:30,885
What were you doing, dear,
canvassing the building?
664
00:33:30,958 --> 00:33:33,324
- Well, I must say.
- Will you keep quiet?
665
00:33:33,394 --> 00:33:35,089
You mean you were upstairs?
You weren't in there?
666
00:33:35,163 --> 00:33:37,825
- You know where I was. You phoned me.
- Oh, you phoned him?
667
00:33:37,899 --> 00:33:40,094
Oh, if you'll excuse me, I think
I'll go to my own apartment.
668
00:33:40,168 --> 00:33:41,795
And there I was sitting in
my studio waiting for you.
669
00:33:41,869 --> 00:33:42,927
(ALL CLAMORING)
670
00:33:43,004 --> 00:33:44,266
Look, I know what!
671
00:33:44,338 --> 00:33:46,431
Let's all room together, all through school.
672
00:33:46,507 --> 00:33:49,567
- Oh, excuse me.
- You come with me!
673
00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:53,341
Susan!
674
00:33:54,182 --> 00:33:55,171
(GROANS)
675
00:34:13,634 --> 00:34:16,865
- Did you say something, dear?
- No, I didn't say anything.
676
00:34:16,938 --> 00:34:19,338
Oh, I thought you did.
677
00:34:23,311 --> 00:34:24,505
Steve.
678
00:34:26,114 --> 00:34:28,674
Am I what you'd call a jealous type?
679
00:34:30,451 --> 00:34:31,918
Jealous? You?
680
00:34:31,986 --> 00:34:33,283
(SCOFFS)
681
00:34:34,055 --> 00:34:38,082
Why, you haven't an atom of
jealousy in you, not a bit.
682
00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:40,753
That's one of your great virtues.
683
00:34:40,828 --> 00:34:43,296
Then why do I want to chop your head off?
684
00:34:44,899 --> 00:34:46,764
Well, I don't know.
685
00:34:46,834 --> 00:34:50,463
Maybe you think I'd look better
without it. Maybe I would.
686
00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:55,131
Maybe I'd like to keep it from
telling me what happened tonight.
687
00:34:55,543 --> 00:34:58,876
Oh, now, honey, it's not that bad.
688
00:34:59,981 --> 00:35:02,711
Look, you wouldn't mind
hearing about it at all.
689
00:35:02,784 --> 00:35:06,379
Don't tell me, Steve, not if it's a lie.
690
00:35:07,288 --> 00:35:09,415
I couldn't forgive you that.
691
00:35:11,759 --> 00:35:14,227
I know what you must be thinking.
692
00:35:14,295 --> 00:35:19,562
- You see, I've got to tell you.
- Something tells me you'd better not.
693
00:35:19,634 --> 00:35:22,762
Honey-pot, all that happened
was that Isobel called,
694
00:35:22,837 --> 00:35:25,271
then I called a cab and
slipped downstairs to meet her.
695
00:35:25,339 --> 00:35:26,397
Please! Please, don't!
696
00:35:26,474 --> 00:35:28,874
But, honey, it's all as
innocent as Christmas.
697
00:35:28,943 --> 00:35:31,503
We went out for a drink, sat
and chewed the fat for a while,
698
00:35:31,579 --> 00:35:34,207
and then came home. Now,
you know all the rest.
699
00:35:34,282 --> 00:35:36,512
All right, don't say any more.
700
00:35:37,518 --> 00:35:41,511
- I believe you.
- Well, of course. Now, that's my girl.
701
00:35:43,324 --> 00:35:46,316
I know whatever else happened,
you wouldn't lie to me.
702
00:35:46,394 --> 00:35:48,589
Well, not on our anniversary.
703
00:35:48,663 --> 00:35:49,960
(CHUCKLING)
704
00:35:50,832 --> 00:35:53,562
Next year, we're gonna
have to walk eight miles.
705
00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:57,337
And besides, I'll have
to row you for two hours.
706
00:35:57,738 --> 00:36:01,731
There's only five minutes
of this anniversary left.
707
00:36:01,809 --> 00:36:06,473
Don't you worry, honey-face, we're
gonna have a million anniversaries.
708
00:36:11,752 --> 00:36:13,583
- STEVE: Honey?
- Yes, darling?
709
00:36:13,654 --> 00:36:15,679
STEVE: Just one little question.
710
00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:18,623
What was that guy doing in his undershirt?
711
00:36:18,693 --> 00:36:22,595
SUSAN: He has to have his torso free
when he shoots his bow and arrow.
712
00:36:26,367 --> 00:36:28,335
What kind of an answer's that?
713
00:36:28,402 --> 00:36:31,235
He's the world's
champion bow-and-arrower.
714
00:36:35,776 --> 00:36:39,439
Okay. You believed me. I'll believe you.
715
00:36:40,781 --> 00:36:42,408
(PHONE RINGING)
716
00:36:43,317 --> 00:36:44,716
SUSAN: I'll get it.
717
00:36:45,820 --> 00:36:48,687
Hello? No, this is Mrs. Ireland.
718
00:36:50,925 --> 00:36:52,392
What taxicab?
719
00:36:56,430 --> 00:36:58,261
Well, who ordered it?
720
00:37:02,336 --> 00:37:03,530
What time?
721
00:37:03,971 --> 00:37:04,960
Now, lookie here, lady.
722
00:37:05,039 --> 00:37:08,406
Mr. Ireland ordered a cab at 8:30,
and he ain't come out of the building.
723
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:09,773
Does he still want me to wait?
724
00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:12,905
No, but I do.
725
00:37:13,881 --> 00:37:15,644
That's right. Wait.
726
00:37:22,290 --> 00:37:23,757
What was it?
727
00:37:24,926 --> 00:37:26,757
The end of the world.
728
00:37:27,528 --> 00:37:30,019
Why, what do you mean? Who was it?
729
00:37:32,066 --> 00:37:33,590
A taxi driver.
730
00:37:34,769 --> 00:37:38,330
A taxi driver? What was he
doing, drumming up trade?
731
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,507
So you were down in Isobel's
apartment all evening?
732
00:37:42,576 --> 00:37:44,771
Oh, Susan, darling.
733
00:37:45,713 --> 00:37:48,978
Lawyers ought to be on call
in emergencies, like doctors.
734
00:37:49,050 --> 00:37:52,451
- Oh, please don't cry, dear.
- (SOBBING) I'm not crying.
735
00:37:52,753 --> 00:37:54,516
And if I am crying,
736
00:37:55,256 --> 00:37:58,089
it's because I think that 12:00 at night
737
00:37:58,159 --> 00:38:01,458
is a pretty rotten time to
start my life over again.
738
00:38:05,232 --> 00:38:08,395
Honey, dear. Honey, darling.
739
00:38:08,469 --> 00:38:10,130
Oh, honey, listen.
740
00:38:10,204 --> 00:38:11,330
Now whom are you going to believe,
741
00:38:11,405 --> 00:38:14,340
me or some taxi driver
that you've never even seen?
742
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:21,477
They told me Mrs. Ireland was here.
743
00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:24,416
Yes, Mr. Ireland. She's with Mr. Renny now.
744
00:38:26,787 --> 00:38:27,981
Susan.
745
00:38:29,623 --> 00:38:32,148
Susan, where did you go? I've
looked all over town for you.
746
00:38:32,226 --> 00:38:34,751
- I haven't wept a slink.
- Really?
747
00:38:35,262 --> 00:38:38,925
- Was it anything important?
- Important? I just told you I couldn't sleep.
748
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:41,764
Oh, I'm so sorry, Steve.
You should've taken a pill.
749
00:38:41,836 --> 00:38:44,771
Oh, Susan, I realize that things look bad.
750
00:38:44,839 --> 00:38:47,865
I mean, it must look to you as though I...
751
00:38:47,942 --> 00:38:50,706
Say, wait a minute, what are you doing here?
752
00:38:50,778 --> 00:38:52,746
I'm arranging with George to get a divorce.
753
00:38:52,813 --> 00:38:55,441
Well, yes, but George is my lawyer.
754
00:38:55,516 --> 00:38:57,541
My personal lawyer and my business lawyer.
755
00:38:57,618 --> 00:38:58,642
Now, look here, George,
756
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:00,050
if you help Susan divorce me,
757
00:39:00,121 --> 00:39:02,248
you'll lose my business
and my business' business.
758
00:39:02,323 --> 00:39:03,381
As a matter of fact, Steve,
759
00:39:03,457 --> 00:39:05,891
I was just about to tell Susan I
think she's being a little hasty.
760
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,190
Well, then what are you waiting
for? Go ahead and tell her.
761
00:39:08,262 --> 00:39:12,722
- Susan, I think you're being a little hasty.
- Hastier than you think.
762
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,598
I want you to file the papers
and get going on things today.
763
00:39:15,669 --> 00:39:18,001
Today? Isn't that a little soon?
764
00:39:18,072 --> 00:39:21,041
Unless you happen to think
it's four years too late.
765
00:39:21,108 --> 00:39:22,575
Well, I don't know quite what to say.
766
00:39:22,643 --> 00:39:25,612
Say? Why, there's everything
in the world to say.
767
00:39:25,679 --> 00:39:28,614
Say that a divorce is something
that you never stop regretting.
768
00:39:28,682 --> 00:39:30,377
Let her know how many
lives are wrecked by it.
769
00:39:30,451 --> 00:39:32,510
Tell her that marriage
is too important a thing
770
00:39:32,586 --> 00:39:33,917
to be broken up by a trifle.
771
00:39:33,988 --> 00:39:37,355
Susan, marriage is too important a
thing to be broken up by a trifle.
772
00:39:37,425 --> 00:39:40,360
Have you any idea where I might
find a lawyer with a mind of his own?
773
00:39:40,428 --> 00:39:42,623
Oh, Susan, darling, be reasonable.
774
00:39:42,696 --> 00:39:45,256
Why do you come to a lawyer if
you don't want to take his advice?
775
00:39:45,332 --> 00:39:46,424
I usually shop around
776
00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:50,061
until I find exactly the brand
of advice I'm looking for.
777
00:39:50,137 --> 00:39:51,627
Where shall I look next, George?
778
00:39:51,705 --> 00:39:54,299
Well, you might try Mulvaney,
Mulvaney, Mulvaney and DeWest.
779
00:39:54,375 --> 00:39:57,003
- DeWest is very clever.
- Thank you.
780
00:39:57,078 --> 00:39:58,238
Oh, Susan, stop.
781
00:39:58,312 --> 00:40:02,442
Oh, but, Susan, Susan, please
don't go, I've got to talk to you.
782
00:40:02,516 --> 00:40:04,450
All right, go ahead and talk.
783
00:40:04,518 --> 00:40:10,514
Well, Susan, all I want to say
is that circumstantial evidence,
784
00:40:10,591 --> 00:40:13,458
that's it, circumstantial evidence,
that's what you're convicting me on.
785
00:40:13,527 --> 00:40:16,394
Possibly. But it was quite conclusive.
786
00:40:16,464 --> 00:40:19,558
Yes, but darling, circumstantial
evidence is unfair.
787
00:40:19,633 --> 00:40:22,033
It... It doesn't take
everything into account.
788
00:40:22,103 --> 00:40:25,630
Oh, Susan, I don't love
anyone in the world but you.
789
00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:30,500
I'm sorry, Steve, but I'll never
again believe anything you say.
790
00:40:33,781 --> 00:40:37,148
GEORGE: Tough luck, Steve. You
should have been more careful.
791
00:40:38,619 --> 00:40:39,847
George.
792
00:40:42,356 --> 00:40:44,984
I can't let her divorce me. We've
got to find some way to stop her.
793
00:40:45,059 --> 00:40:47,425
No can do, if she takes it to court.
794
00:40:47,495 --> 00:40:49,520
Then my only chance is to talk her out of it.
795
00:40:49,597 --> 00:40:51,326
And I could do it, too, if
I just had a little time.
796
00:40:51,398 --> 00:40:53,389
You didn't seem to make
much headway just now.
797
00:40:53,467 --> 00:40:56,231
No, but Susan never stays angry long.
798
00:40:56,303 --> 00:40:59,295
Couldn't we keep her out of court
just long enough for her to cool down?
799
00:40:59,373 --> 00:41:00,738
Well, won't two months be long enough?
800
00:41:00,808 --> 00:41:02,867
For that's how long it'll take
to get this case on the calendar.
801
00:41:02,943 --> 00:41:05,844
Oh, well, why didn't you say so? Two months!
802
00:41:06,313 --> 00:41:10,477
Oh, say, in two months I can talk
Susan into anything. Yes, sir.
803
00:41:10,551 --> 00:41:12,451
In two months from now, we'll
be looking back on this episode
804
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:13,782
and laughing ourselves sick.
805
00:41:13,854 --> 00:41:15,048
Sure.
806
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:16,712
Phew!
807
00:41:16,824 --> 00:41:19,486
- Say, you haven't a little snifter, have you?
- Can do.
808
00:41:28,869 --> 00:41:29,927
Pardon me, sir.
809
00:41:30,004 --> 00:41:33,496
Senator Monrose is here to
discuss the Morton contract.
810
00:41:36,410 --> 00:41:39,675
You know, a person can't
just disappear like smoke.
811
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,105
Shall I show the senator in?
812
00:41:42,183 --> 00:41:44,242
She's got to be somewhere.
813
00:41:44,318 --> 00:41:47,116
Look, I'll be back in an hour.
814
00:41:47,188 --> 00:41:49,850
But your appointments, Mr.
Ireland. What'll I tell them?
815
00:41:53,794 --> 00:41:56,763
Now, don't worry anymore, Mr. Ireland.
We'll find her, wherever she is.
816
00:41:56,830 --> 00:41:58,559
We have operators in every city.
817
00:41:58,632 --> 00:42:00,623
Yes, but what if she's left the
country? She may be on a boat.
818
00:42:00,701 --> 00:42:02,931
We'll still find her.
She'll have to land sometime,
819
00:42:03,003 --> 00:42:05,995
and our connections
extend all over the world.
820
00:42:06,740 --> 00:42:08,901
Put in calls to all our branch offices.
821
00:42:08,976 --> 00:42:11,706
This is Jenifer in Miami. No sign of her yet.
822
00:42:11,779 --> 00:42:14,646
Lake Placid office. Nothing
doing on Mrs. Ireland.
823
00:42:14,715 --> 00:42:16,808
San Francisco office. Nothing yet.
824
00:42:16,884 --> 00:42:18,852
We've checked all boats, planes and hotels.
825
00:42:18,919 --> 00:42:20,784
No reservations in that name.
826
00:42:21,689 --> 00:42:23,850
- Not in Cleveland.
- Not in Detroit.
827
00:42:23,924 --> 00:42:26,154
- Not in Cincinnati.
- Not in Philadelphia.
828
00:42:26,227 --> 00:42:28,559
- Not in Tijuana.
- Not in Palm Springs.
829
00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:30,961
- Not in Sun Valley.
- Not in Reno.
830
00:42:31,031 --> 00:42:32,658
(RINGING)
831
00:42:35,603 --> 00:42:37,127
Hello?
832
00:42:37,204 --> 00:42:38,933
Oh, hello, George.
833
00:42:39,506 --> 00:42:40,598
What are you doing?
834
00:42:41,041 --> 00:42:43,805
Oh, just sitting here,
stewing. Haven't heard a word.
835
00:42:43,877 --> 00:42:47,745
Say, look, do you think she's really
going to show up in court tomorrow morning?
836
00:42:48,148 --> 00:42:51,413
She got back in town today. She's
here now at the Bristols' party.
837
00:42:51,619 --> 00:42:56,056
She's here? At the Bristols'?
Well, hurry up! No, I mean, hang up!
838
00:42:56,123 --> 00:42:58,421
I mean I... I'll be right over!
839
00:43:05,666 --> 00:43:08,134
Yes, sir. Who shall I announce?
840
00:43:08,202 --> 00:43:09,999
Oh, yes, please.
841
00:43:14,608 --> 00:43:16,166
Steve Ireland!
842
00:43:16,443 --> 00:43:19,276
Oh, good evening, Mrs. Bristol. Lovely party.
843
00:43:19,346 --> 00:43:21,610
I suppose you know I wasn't expecting you.
844
00:43:21,682 --> 00:43:23,650
Oh, I hope you'll forgive my
barging in this way, but...
845
00:43:23,717 --> 00:43:25,378
I'm sorry. It's most untimely.
846
00:43:25,452 --> 00:43:27,579
After all, poor Susan has
suffered enough humiliation.
847
00:43:27,655 --> 00:43:29,816
I only wanted to see her for
a moment. Just long enough...
848
00:43:29,890 --> 00:43:31,721
Under the circumstances,
I think it's most unwise.
849
00:43:31,792 --> 00:43:34,989
- Hello, Steve!
- Oh, hello, George. Good old George.
850
00:43:35,062 --> 00:43:36,188
I was just telling Mr. Ireland that I...
851
00:43:36,263 --> 00:43:38,458
- Mrs. Bristol, this is our dance.
- Our dance?
852
00:43:38,532 --> 00:43:42,400
Yes, don't you remember? I've looked
all over for you on the terrace.
853
00:43:54,014 --> 00:43:56,642
I'm not quite divorced and besides...
854
00:44:01,722 --> 00:44:03,212
Hello, Susan.
855
00:44:04,058 --> 00:44:05,548
Hello, Steve.
856
00:44:06,093 --> 00:44:07,924
Oh, I... I didn't mean to interrupt,
857
00:44:07,995 --> 00:44:10,896
but could I speak to you alone for a minute?
858
00:44:11,665 --> 00:44:13,030
Of course.
859
00:44:14,768 --> 00:44:15,996
- Will you pardon me?
- MAN: Certainly.
860
00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:17,662
- Of course.
- Of course.
861
00:44:19,406 --> 00:44:21,931
...while the novice is inclined
to use the wrong side of the bow.
862
00:44:22,009 --> 00:44:23,806
Excuse me. May I see you a moment, Ward?
863
00:44:23,877 --> 00:44:26,402
- Mrs. Cooper, our dance!
- But... But Ward...
864
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:29,506
I've been looking
everywhere for you. Goodbye.
865
00:44:30,150 --> 00:44:31,139
Well!
866
00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:37,184
Isn't it unlucky for the groom to see
the bride the night before the divorce?
867
00:44:38,959 --> 00:44:41,587
For two months I've been
planning what I'd say to you,
868
00:44:41,662 --> 00:44:44,256
and now all I can think of is, I feel awful.
869
00:44:44,331 --> 00:44:47,459
Do you, Steve? I rather hoped you would.
870
00:44:48,335 --> 00:44:51,065
Well, you got your hope and a dividend.
871
00:44:52,172 --> 00:44:54,697
I don't think even your mother
would want me to feel this way.
872
00:44:54,775 --> 00:44:58,609
That's interesting. Go on, dear.
Tell me exactly how you feel.
873
00:44:59,313 --> 00:45:01,838
Well, I can't sleep,
874
00:45:02,649 --> 00:45:05,277
and when I try to eat, I can't,
875
00:45:05,352 --> 00:45:09,311
because I've got a great,
big, cold cannonball right here
876
00:45:09,390 --> 00:45:11,119
in the pit of my stomach.
877
00:45:11,191 --> 00:45:15,958
And isn't your chest, sort of, full
of sighs that you hope you can use up
878
00:45:16,029 --> 00:45:20,363
but find that you can't because
there's always another one?
879
00:45:21,301 --> 00:45:24,896
Yes. That's it.
880
00:45:26,173 --> 00:45:29,199
- That's good.
- What's good about it?
881
00:45:29,777 --> 00:45:33,804
Oh, Susan, why do you want
me to be this miserable?
882
00:45:33,881 --> 00:45:37,510
Because I don't want to be the only one.
883
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:40,914
Susan!
884
00:45:41,789 --> 00:45:43,154
It's only natural.
885
00:45:43,223 --> 00:45:47,683
- I expected to feel badly for a while.
- Oh, but not that badly, honey-cake.
886
00:45:47,761 --> 00:45:49,888
- That's love.
- Yes, I suppose it is.
887
00:45:49,963 --> 00:45:53,262
- Well, then, let's go home.
- I can't.
888
00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:54,925
There's no such word, dear.
889
00:45:55,002 --> 00:45:58,233
There's no such thing as
marriage based on deceit.
890
00:45:59,206 --> 00:46:01,800
Steve, I begged you not to lie to me.
891
00:46:02,109 --> 00:46:06,375
But I didn't lie to you. Oh,
Susan, please come back to me.
892
00:46:06,447 --> 00:46:10,247
Darling, how can I come back to
you when I don't even trust you?
893
00:46:10,317 --> 00:46:14,083
Steve, if you'd only be
honest and admit that you lied,
894
00:46:14,154 --> 00:46:18,523
there's nothing I wouldn't forgive
you, if you'd just give me a chance.
895
00:46:18,592 --> 00:46:22,028
Darling, let's start over now with the truth.
896
00:46:23,797 --> 00:46:28,359
All right, darling, if that's the
way you feel about it, I'll confess.
897
00:46:28,435 --> 00:46:31,097
I lied. I was guilty.
898
00:46:32,139 --> 00:46:35,438
You mean you were in
Isobel's apartment that night?
899
00:46:35,509 --> 00:46:38,808
- Yes, that's right.
- And on our anniversary, too!
900
00:46:39,379 --> 00:46:41,006
Yes, but we're starting
all over again, honey.
901
00:46:41,081 --> 00:46:42,105
That's all past now.
902
00:46:42,182 --> 00:46:44,844
I suppose it's perfectly
all right because it's past.
903
00:46:44,918 --> 00:46:47,148
What a despicable cheat you are!
904
00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:50,520
But honey-cake, I only said I was guilty
because you said you'd forgive me if I...
905
00:46:50,591 --> 00:46:55,119
I don't care what I said. I'll hate
you for that for the rest of my life!
906
00:46:55,195 --> 00:46:57,823
Hello, what's the trouble
here? Anything wrong, Susan?
907
00:46:57,898 --> 00:46:59,763
Oh, excuse us, but...
908
00:46:59,833 --> 00:47:01,562
Oh, it's you again.
909
00:47:01,635 --> 00:47:04,263
I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
910
00:47:04,338 --> 00:47:05,737
Ward, take me home, please.
911
00:47:05,806 --> 00:47:10,140
- I ought to sock him in the nose.
- Yeah? You and who else?
912
00:47:10,978 --> 00:47:12,343
Hey, Steve!
913
00:47:18,318 --> 00:47:22,015
Well, she's gone home with
that bow-and-arrow guy.
914
00:47:22,656 --> 00:47:24,146
Does he get into my hair.
915
00:47:24,224 --> 00:47:26,818
For two months he's been in
Arizona with Susan and Mrs. Cooper.
916
00:47:26,894 --> 00:47:28,885
Recommended the place
and followed right along.
917
00:47:28,962 --> 00:47:30,987
He's doing all right.
918
00:47:31,064 --> 00:47:33,191
Well, I'm not worried about him.
919
00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:36,134
Now, look, George. You've got to
have this divorce case postponed.
920
00:47:36,203 --> 00:47:37,534
Too late for that, Steve.
921
00:47:37,604 --> 00:47:41,836
But Susan still loves me. She told me.
She's bound to forgive me in a few days.
922
00:47:41,909 --> 00:47:44,673
- If you can only have the case postponed.
- No can do.
923
00:47:44,745 --> 00:47:45,871
Oh, of course you can.
924
00:47:45,946 --> 00:47:49,040
Call up her attorney and
offer him a bribe. Anything.
925
00:47:49,116 --> 00:47:52,415
- What about getting to the judge?
- Oh, no can do.
926
00:47:52,486 --> 00:47:55,080
And will you please stop saying
that? You're driving me crazy.
927
00:47:55,155 --> 00:47:56,622
Well, look, Steve...
928
00:47:56,690 --> 00:47:59,318
Say, that would do it.
929
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:01,320
What?
930
00:48:01,395 --> 00:48:03,056
If you... If you went crazy,
931
00:48:03,130 --> 00:48:06,497
Susan couldn't divorce you
for five years at least.
932
00:48:06,567 --> 00:48:07,659
She couldn't?
933
00:48:07,734 --> 00:48:10,259
Why, even if you suggested
symptoms of insanity,
934
00:48:10,337 --> 00:48:12,737
why, it would require the
postponement of at least 30 days
935
00:48:12,806 --> 00:48:16,105
before they could find out
if you were crazy or not.
936
00:48:16,677 --> 00:48:18,440
Look. I'm a teapot.
937
00:48:21,081 --> 00:48:22,343
(WHISTLING)
938
00:48:22,716 --> 00:48:24,183
(CHUCKLING)
939
00:48:24,251 --> 00:48:28,847
Yeah, but you've got to be a crackpot
to do you any good, and have witnesses.
940
00:48:29,856 --> 00:48:31,221
I'm boiling over.
941
00:48:34,962 --> 00:48:37,055
(STEVE WHISTLING)
942
00:48:39,366 --> 00:48:40,924
Where did you leave your parachute?
943
00:48:41,001 --> 00:48:44,266
- I beg your pardon?
- Never mind.
944
00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:47,899
You'll pry no information out
of me, General Electric Whiskers!
945
00:48:47,975 --> 00:48:52,173
Oh, it's my English. I get the joke so slow.
946
00:48:52,245 --> 00:48:56,477
You must... My friend,
you have lost your shoes?
947
00:48:57,951 --> 00:48:59,248
Not at all.
948
00:48:59,319 --> 00:49:03,949
My feet were prisoners, locked up in
these dungeons without food or water.
949
00:49:04,024 --> 00:49:06,515
The enemy locked them up
to keep them from talking,
950
00:49:06,593 --> 00:49:08,652
but they never said a word. They were loyal.
951
00:49:08,729 --> 00:49:10,629
So I set them free.
952
00:49:10,697 --> 00:49:14,724
See how happy they are? Oh, happy
little feet. Happy little feet.
953
00:49:14,801 --> 00:49:15,995
Shh!
954
00:49:16,069 --> 00:49:17,434
The enemy.
955
00:49:22,843 --> 00:49:24,606
Fly away, feet. Fly away.
956
00:49:24,678 --> 00:49:28,614
Fly away, little feet. Fly away,
fly away, feet. Fly away, feet.
957
00:49:31,685 --> 00:49:33,778
Green is my favorite color.
958
00:49:36,990 --> 00:49:39,686
Excuse me, sir, but them hats belong here.
959
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:42,126
My friend, I set you free.
960
00:49:42,195 --> 00:49:44,993
Henceforward, you are a free man.
961
00:49:45,065 --> 00:49:48,501
- You can't free me, sir. I was free now.
- Don't be silly.
962
00:49:48,568 --> 00:49:52,026
If I can't free you, then
why am I Abraham Lincoln?
963
00:49:52,105 --> 00:49:55,370
Oh, excuse me, sir.
964
00:50:03,750 --> 00:50:06,617
Red sails in the sunset.
965
00:50:06,687 --> 00:50:11,989
Spread your pretty wings, and sail
the Southern Seas. You are free! Free!
966
00:50:12,059 --> 00:50:13,651
Hey, Steve, that's my hat.
967
00:50:13,727 --> 00:50:17,493
Look! You see, the silk ones
are happy because they are free.
968
00:50:17,564 --> 00:50:20,624
But the felt ones are dead. They
sink. I was too late to save them.
969
00:50:20,701 --> 00:50:22,760
- That's my $30 topper!
- There's mine over there, too.
970
00:50:22,836 --> 00:50:25,805
- I'll get a rake or something.
- Boy, boy, are you having fun.
971
00:50:25,872 --> 00:50:26,930
My hat, please.
972
00:50:27,007 --> 00:50:28,372
I'm so sorry you couldn't stay longer, Dave.
973
00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:30,410
- It was so nice of you to come.
- Thank you.
974
00:50:30,477 --> 00:50:31,705
The gentleman's hat, Robert.
975
00:50:31,778 --> 00:50:34,008
All the hats from one to 25 is gone, ma'am.
976
00:50:34,081 --> 00:50:35,810
- Gone? Where?
- That man took them.
977
00:50:35,882 --> 00:50:37,850
- What man?
- He said he was Abraham Lincoln.
978
00:50:37,918 --> 00:50:40,079
- That must be the same man!
- He took them out to the garden.
979
00:50:40,153 --> 00:50:41,711
But Robert, why didn't you stop him?
980
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:43,380
But ma'am, I don't know
he wasn't Abraham Lincoln.
981
00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,084
Oh, Robert!
982
00:50:46,159 --> 00:50:49,458
Hurry, hurry. Please, get them out.
Stop that, Steve Ireland. How dare you!
983
00:50:49,529 --> 00:50:52,225
- Really, if this is your idea of a joke!
- But they were prisoners.
984
00:50:52,299 --> 00:50:55,427
- I had to set them free.
- You're drunk. Henry!
985
00:50:55,502 --> 00:51:00,166
I never drink while
emancipating! They're free! Free!
986
00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:02,174
Man, man, he's high as a kite!
987
00:51:02,242 --> 00:51:03,971
I suppose you did this to show off for Susan.
988
00:51:04,044 --> 00:51:05,511
Well, you've made a fool
of yourself for nothing
989
00:51:05,579 --> 00:51:08,275
because she's gone home with
that nice Ward Willoughby.
990
00:51:08,348 --> 00:51:10,748
- I hear voices.
- Voices!
991
00:51:10,817 --> 00:51:12,341
Oh, stop that folderol, Stephen.
992
00:51:12,419 --> 00:51:16,116
You haven't a chance to get
Susan back. What a disgrace!
993
00:51:16,189 --> 00:51:19,056
- Yes, I do hear voices.
- What are they telling you?
994
00:51:19,126 --> 00:51:22,755
They are telling me...
Telling me to free her, too!
995
00:51:22,829 --> 00:51:25,161
I can't understand you
doing a thing like this.
996
00:51:25,232 --> 00:51:28,030
Why, it's positively disgraceful.
997
00:51:28,969 --> 00:51:30,163
(SCREAMING)
998
00:51:30,237 --> 00:51:31,363
Save me!
999
00:51:31,438 --> 00:51:34,601
I crown you king of the hat freers.
1000
00:51:35,041 --> 00:51:37,100
(ALL LAUGHING)
1001
00:51:39,980 --> 00:51:43,507
Where is he? Where is he?
1002
00:51:47,387 --> 00:51:48,684
How long will it take to get those back?
1003
00:51:48,755 --> 00:51:50,382
Oh, I'll have these dry in 20 minutes, sir.
1004
00:51:50,457 --> 00:51:51,617
That's fine.
1005
00:51:51,691 --> 00:51:53,625
Bring me a big highball, will you?
1006
00:51:53,693 --> 00:51:56,491
Are you sure you want
another one, Mr. Lincoln?
1007
00:51:58,198 --> 00:52:00,325
See that? He thinks I'm drunk.
That's what they all think.
1008
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,459
- They don't believe I'm
crazy. - It's about 50-50.
1009
00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:05,767
No. There's only one guy I think I've sold.
1010
00:52:05,839 --> 00:52:07,670
- Who's that?
- Oh, I don't know.
1011
00:52:07,741 --> 00:52:09,072
Some old goat I met out there in the garden.
1012
00:52:09,142 --> 00:52:11,440
- He looks like General Electric Whiskers.
- Well, keep working.
1013
00:52:11,511 --> 00:52:14,071
I'll go down and start
spreading some subtle propaganda.
1014
00:52:14,147 --> 00:52:17,480
You've got 20 minutes to
think up a really good topper.
1015
00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:19,746
No, it's no use.
1016
00:52:19,820 --> 00:52:22,050
(SQUAWKING)
1017
00:52:22,122 --> 00:52:25,489
Hey! Hey! Hey, no. No.
1018
00:52:25,692 --> 00:52:28,126
Hey, that's no cracker, that's my watch.
1019
00:52:28,195 --> 00:52:30,686
Pretty Polly. Come on. That's a pretty Polly.
1020
00:52:30,764 --> 00:52:31,788
PARROT: Cracker!
1021
00:52:31,865 --> 00:52:33,298
No, it's not a cracker. It's a watch.
1022
00:52:33,366 --> 00:52:36,233
No, listen to me. Here.
1023
00:52:36,303 --> 00:52:38,771
Look, my wife gave me that watch, Polly.
1024
00:52:39,372 --> 00:52:43,638
Come on, let me have it.
Let me have it. Come on.
1025
00:52:43,944 --> 00:52:46,708
Easy now. That's not a cracker.
1026
00:52:46,780 --> 00:52:49,044
Pretty Polly. Come on, give it to me.
1027
00:52:49,349 --> 00:52:50,441
Hey!
1028
00:52:51,685 --> 00:52:53,846
Hey. Come here. Polly!
1029
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:55,911
(PARROT SQUAWKING)
1030
00:52:55,989 --> 00:52:59,481
Come on, Polly. Pretty
Polly. Come here, Polly.
1031
00:53:03,496 --> 00:53:04,861
(EX CLAIMS)
1032
00:53:05,899 --> 00:53:06,923
(THUDDING)
1033
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,433
(GUESTS LAUGHING)
1034
00:53:08,702 --> 00:53:10,363
(PARROT GUFFAWING)
1035
00:53:14,341 --> 00:53:16,070
Now, Mrs. Bristol, will
you please tell the court
1036
00:53:16,142 --> 00:53:17,632
exactly what happened then?
1037
00:53:17,711 --> 00:53:20,236
At that point, I'm afraid I fainted.
1038
00:53:20,981 --> 00:53:24,576
- I can't tell you any more.
- Thank you, Mrs. Bristol. Your witness.
1039
00:53:24,651 --> 00:53:27,085
- DEWEST: No
cross-examination. - Thank you.
1040
00:53:27,153 --> 00:53:30,020
I don't know what he expects
to gain by acting like an idiot.
1041
00:53:30,090 --> 00:53:32,786
- Isn't he always like that?
- Not exactly.
1042
00:53:33,093 --> 00:53:36,790
Your Honor, my client is suffering
from a nervous breakdown brought on
1043
00:53:36,863 --> 00:53:41,630
by overwork and worry and aggravated by
his misunderstanding with the plaintiff.
1044
00:53:41,701 --> 00:53:45,068
I submit that he is not responsible
for his actions at the moment.
1045
00:53:45,138 --> 00:53:50,098
He needs rest and quiet, and I therefore
request an adjournment for 30 days.
1046
00:53:50,577 --> 00:53:52,772
If there's no objection
from opposing counsel,
1047
00:53:52,846 --> 00:53:55,246
the court orders an adjournment for 30 days.
1048
00:53:55,315 --> 00:53:56,339
There is an objection, Your Honor.
1049
00:53:56,416 --> 00:53:58,281
We have some testimony
to offer on the subject.
1050
00:53:58,351 --> 00:54:01,115
Yes, Your Honor. This is
really a lot of nonsense.
1051
00:54:01,187 --> 00:54:05,146
If you have anything to say, Mrs.
Ireland, you'll have to take the stand.
1052
00:54:10,397 --> 00:54:12,126
Do you solemnly swear the
testimony you are about to give
1053
00:54:12,198 --> 00:54:14,098
in the cause now pending before
this court shall be the truth,
1054
00:54:14,167 --> 00:54:15,930
the whole truth and nothing
but the truth, so help you God?
1055
00:54:16,002 --> 00:54:17,697
- I do.
- Sit down, please.
1056
00:54:18,171 --> 00:54:19,934
Now, please state to the
court in your own language
1057
00:54:20,006 --> 00:54:23,237
your reasons for doubting that
your husband is really ill.
1058
00:54:23,310 --> 00:54:27,076
Well, I just don't see anything unusual
in the way he behaved last night.
1059
00:54:27,147 --> 00:54:29,172
It doesn't prove he's
having a nervous breakdown.
1060
00:54:29,249 --> 00:54:30,807
He was just having a good time.
1061
00:54:30,884 --> 00:54:33,284
Do you mean that such
behavior is usual with him?
1062
00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:36,322
Now, look here, George, you
know he's behaved that way often.
1063
00:54:36,389 --> 00:54:39,825
I told you about the time six months
ago when we went to a party at Miami
1064
00:54:39,893 --> 00:54:41,884
and Steve chewed up a phonograph record.
1065
00:54:41,962 --> 00:54:43,862
It was the hostess' favorite rumba.
1066
00:54:43,930 --> 00:54:46,592
- Well, possibly he did it on a bet or a dare.
- Not at all.
1067
00:54:46,666 --> 00:54:48,031
He said he was going to learn to do the rumba
1068
00:54:48,101 --> 00:54:50,729
by taking it internally and
he rumbaed all the way home.
1069
00:54:50,804 --> 00:54:53,602
May I suggest, Mrs. Ireland,
that possibly marked the beginning
1070
00:54:53,673 --> 00:54:57,200
- of his nervous breakdown?
- George, you know very well that...
1071
00:54:57,978 --> 00:55:01,675
Your Honor, I assure you, he's
having no nervous breakdown.
1072
00:55:02,215 --> 00:55:04,706
Why, once on our honeymoon
he put on a pair of overalls
1073
00:55:04,784 --> 00:55:07,048
and dug a hole in the middle of Fifth Avenue.
1074
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:08,280
GEORGE: Did he say why?
1075
00:55:08,355 --> 00:55:11,483
SUSAN: He said he'd always been wanting to
dig a hole in the middle of Fifth Avenue.
1076
00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:12,650
(GAVEL BANGING)
1077
00:55:12,726 --> 00:55:15,627
Then you're saying, Mrs. Ireland,
that your husband is periodically
1078
00:55:15,695 --> 00:55:17,026
subject to these attacks?
1079
00:55:17,097 --> 00:55:19,565
But they weren't attacks! They were just fun!
1080
00:55:19,632 --> 00:55:22,192
You mean you were quite happy with
your husband behaving this way?
1081
00:55:22,268 --> 00:55:24,293
Well, why shouldn't I be happy
with my husband behaving that way?
1082
00:55:24,371 --> 00:55:26,931
- Then why do you wish a divorce?
- Because I wasn't happy!
1083
00:55:27,007 --> 00:55:29,134
I mean, because I wasn't happy.
1084
00:55:29,576 --> 00:55:31,703
It had nothing to do with Steve's attacks.
1085
00:55:31,778 --> 00:55:34,303
- Then they were attacks?
- No.
1086
00:55:35,081 --> 00:55:37,811
They were just sort of private jokes.
1087
00:55:37,884 --> 00:55:42,287
Like on our last wedding anniversary
when he wanted to have dinner backwards.
1088
00:55:42,355 --> 00:55:44,084
Dinner back...
1089
00:55:44,324 --> 00:55:45,916
Pardon me, Your Honor.
1090
00:55:50,897 --> 00:55:53,559
Well, what's wrong with that?
Didn't you ever eat dinner backwards?
1091
00:55:53,633 --> 00:55:56,363
- I lived a whole week backwards once.
- Shh!
1092
00:55:57,303 --> 00:55:59,294
Why did he want to have his dinner backwards?
1093
00:55:59,372 --> 00:56:01,306
For a perfectly normal reason.
1094
00:56:01,374 --> 00:56:04,741
He didn't want to walk four miles
and row on the river before dinner.
1095
00:56:04,811 --> 00:56:07,143
And was he afraid someone
might make him do that?
1096
00:56:07,213 --> 00:56:08,544
Oh, you don't understand.
1097
00:56:08,615 --> 00:56:11,641
That's the wedding ceremony
of the Baffinland Eskimos.
1098
00:56:11,751 --> 00:56:14,049
Steve used to always say if
we ever moved to Baffinland,
1099
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:17,556
we'd be properly married.
It's a joke, don't you see?
1100
00:56:18,224 --> 00:56:20,454
He said a man can't be too careful.
1101
00:56:20,527 --> 00:56:21,858
(LAUGHS)
1102
00:56:26,199 --> 00:56:28,224
Court orders this case adjourned for 30 days.
1103
00:56:28,301 --> 00:56:29,563
But why? You mustn't!
1104
00:56:29,636 --> 00:56:31,831
I'm sorry, Mrs. Ireland,
but I'm afraid your husband
1105
00:56:31,905 --> 00:56:33,497
is in a doubtful mental condition.
1106
00:56:33,573 --> 00:56:37,737
Nothing serious, probably, but I want
to investigate quietly for 30 days.
1107
00:56:37,811 --> 00:56:41,645
Your Honor, I swear this is
just a trick to delay my divorce.
1108
00:56:41,714 --> 00:56:43,238
You mustn't let Steve make a fool of you.
1109
00:56:43,316 --> 00:56:45,250
Young lady, I can take care of myself.
1110
00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:47,343
But I want you to take care of me, too.
1111
00:56:47,420 --> 00:56:50,287
What happens to my divorce if
you still don't like Steve's mind
1112
00:56:50,356 --> 00:56:51,448
at the end of 30 days?
1113
00:56:51,524 --> 00:56:53,890
Why, we might postpone
for another short time.
1114
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:58,829
Your Honor, it seems to me that I've heard
of something called a Lunacy Commission.
1115
00:56:58,898 --> 00:57:00,957
- Couldn't they help us?
- Yes, they could.
1116
00:57:01,034 --> 00:57:03,901
- But you wouldn't want that.
- If I did want it, could I have it?
1117
00:57:03,970 --> 00:57:07,133
Oh, yes, you have the right to
refer the matter to the Commission.
1118
00:57:07,207 --> 00:57:08,765
But think of the publicity.
1119
00:57:08,842 --> 00:57:11,868
I'm not worried about the
publicity, because, you see,
1120
00:57:11,978 --> 00:57:14,606
I don't have to appear
before the Lunacy Commission.
1121
00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:19,277
But Steve does. First thing in
the morning. Thank you, Your Honor.
1122
00:57:21,054 --> 00:57:23,215
- Lunacy Commission?
- Lunacy, schmoonacy!
1123
00:57:23,289 --> 00:57:25,120
What's the difference?
You've got your 30 days.
1124
00:57:25,191 --> 00:57:27,557
You've got nothing to fear
from the Lunacy Commission.
1125
00:57:27,627 --> 00:57:28,889
Then why am I afraid?
1126
00:57:28,962 --> 00:57:31,453
Look, the Lunacy Board is
composed of competent alienists
1127
00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:33,863
who know all about insanity. They're doctors.
1128
00:57:33,933 --> 00:57:35,195
Suppose you broke your leg.
1129
00:57:35,268 --> 00:57:38,032
A doctor could tell you
if it was broken or not.
1130
00:57:38,104 --> 00:57:40,504
Yeah, that's right, isn't it?
Well, then everything's all right.
1131
00:57:40,573 --> 00:57:41,835
It's perfect!
1132
00:57:48,748 --> 00:57:49,840
Good morning, Gentlemen.
1133
00:57:49,916 --> 00:57:50,974
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
1134
00:57:51,050 --> 00:57:53,712
- Mr. Ireland?
- Oh, this is Mr. Ireland. I'm his attorney.
1135
00:57:53,786 --> 00:57:54,844
Attorney?
1136
00:57:54,921 --> 00:57:57,685
Sorry, but we don't allow legal
representation at these hearings.
1137
00:57:57,757 --> 00:58:00,453
However, you may sit at the back if
you don't take part in the proceedings.
1138
00:58:00,527 --> 00:58:01,824
Thank you.
1139
00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:05,456
Well, gentlemen, now I realize
that I'm here to be examined,
1140
00:58:05,532 --> 00:58:08,797
but that's merely because I
am the victim of circumstances.
1141
00:58:09,102 --> 00:58:10,433
There's nothing the matter with me at all,
1142
00:58:10,503 --> 00:58:12,494
so let's get this over
with quickly, shall we?
1143
00:58:12,572 --> 00:58:14,767
Well, it would save a
lot of time for all of us.
1144
00:58:14,841 --> 00:58:16,468
- STEVE: Yes.
- Over here, please.
1145
00:58:16,543 --> 00:58:19,171
Oh. Oh, yes, yes.
1146
00:58:19,245 --> 00:58:22,840
Well, now, gentlemen, what
would you like to know?
1147
00:58:23,616 --> 00:58:24,913
Now, Mr. Ireland,
1148
00:58:24,984 --> 00:58:27,782
if you'll please put those
pegs in the appropriate holes.
1149
00:58:27,854 --> 00:58:29,253
Oh, I see.
1150
00:58:29,322 --> 00:58:31,552
Square peg in square hole.
Round peg in round hole.
1151
00:58:31,624 --> 00:58:33,387
Square peg in square hole. Round peg in...
1152
00:58:33,459 --> 00:58:36,451
Well, a man would certainly be an idiot
if he couldn't do this, wouldn't he?
1153
00:58:36,529 --> 00:58:38,497
Oh, I suppose that's the point.
1154
00:58:38,565 --> 00:58:41,261
Well, there seem to be two missing.
1155
00:58:41,334 --> 00:58:44,098
- That shouldn't be.
- Here they are.
1156
00:58:44,170 --> 00:58:45,501
Good morning, gentlemen.
1157
00:58:45,572 --> 00:58:48,837
MAN: Good morning, Dr. Klugle.
MAN 2: Good morning, Dr. Klugle.
1158
00:58:48,908 --> 00:58:51,900
There we are.
1159
00:58:53,046 --> 00:58:55,276
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
1160
00:58:55,348 --> 00:58:59,182
- Oh, haven't we met somewhere before?
- We have.
1161
00:58:59,652 --> 00:59:02,246
Yes. Yes. It was at...
1162
00:59:03,690 --> 00:59:05,180
Holy Ike!
1163
00:59:05,258 --> 00:59:08,489
You mustn't be upset at finding
yourself here, Mr. Ireland.
1164
00:59:08,561 --> 00:59:10,051
We are your friends.
1165
00:59:10,129 --> 00:59:12,461
Oh, I'm not upset at all.
1166
00:59:12,532 --> 00:59:15,467
I... I just hope you won't
be prejudiced about me.
1167
00:59:15,535 --> 00:59:17,765
Oh, my boy, my boy, not at all.
1168
00:59:18,304 --> 00:59:22,934
Now we are... How do you say? Old pals.
1169
00:59:23,109 --> 00:59:26,977
- I see you were doing the peg game.
- Yes. Yes.
1170
00:59:27,146 --> 00:59:30,240
Oh, you can do better than that, huh?
1171
00:59:32,318 --> 00:59:36,755
Oh, yes, that was just a slip of the tongue.
1172
00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:40,315
I mean of the hand. The... The...
1173
00:59:41,227 --> 00:59:42,558
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
1174
00:59:45,832 --> 00:59:47,891
A rather awkward mess, eh?
1175
00:59:47,967 --> 00:59:51,926
But don't you worry, my son always
mixes them up just like that.
1176
00:59:52,005 --> 00:59:53,700
Oh, your son a doctor, Doctor?
1177
00:59:53,773 --> 00:59:56,708
No, not yet, my friend. He's only three.
1178
00:59:59,479 --> 01:00:02,004
- George, do something! That man's...
- Here, here, Mr. Ireland,
1179
01:00:02,081 --> 01:00:04,174
we've told you that you're not
allowed to speak to your lawyer.
1180
01:00:04,250 --> 01:00:06,275
I advise you not to do it again.
1181
01:00:09,155 --> 01:00:12,921
Mr. Ireland is the gentleman
I told you about yesterday.
1182
01:00:12,992 --> 01:00:15,586
The one who set the hats free.
1183
01:00:18,331 --> 01:00:19,320
Uh-uh.
1184
01:00:22,669 --> 01:00:25,103
Do you remember the testimony at the trial,
1185
01:00:25,171 --> 01:00:26,661
having dinner backwards?
1186
01:00:26,739 --> 01:00:28,604
He certainly seems to
have a split personality.
1187
01:00:28,675 --> 01:00:32,076
- I think it's schizophrenia.
- Probably, probably.
1188
01:00:32,145 --> 01:00:35,546
I think you're right, and I'll
show you why I think you're right.
1189
01:00:35,615 --> 01:00:37,480
Will you stand, my boy?
1190
01:00:37,550 --> 01:00:40,542
I want to show the gentlemen
your medulla oblongata.
1191
01:00:40,620 --> 01:00:43,555
Turn around, please. Profile.
1192
01:00:44,390 --> 01:00:48,850
You see, here and here and
especially this development here.
1193
01:00:48,928 --> 01:00:51,453
- Thank you.
- But... But... But just a moment.
1194
01:00:51,531 --> 01:00:54,193
Gentlemen, if you'd only give me half
a chance, I could clear up everything.
1195
01:00:54,267 --> 01:00:55,529
Of course, Mr. Ireland.
1196
01:00:55,601 --> 01:00:58,832
There's a perfectly logical
explanation for everything I've done.
1197
01:00:58,905 --> 01:01:02,033
I've been pretending to be insane
to keep my wife from divorcing me.
1198
01:01:02,108 --> 01:01:04,872
The whole thing was just
an act to get my wife back.
1199
01:01:04,944 --> 01:01:06,536
Of course, Mr. Ireland.
1200
01:01:06,612 --> 01:01:09,240
You gentlemen have read the
record of the divorce case.
1201
01:01:09,315 --> 01:01:12,375
The Eskimo marriage ceremony,
eating the phonograph record...
1202
01:01:12,452 --> 01:01:15,580
All that was before he
and his wife separated,
1203
01:01:15,655 --> 01:01:18,590
so it certainly wasn't to get his wife back.
1204
01:01:20,693 --> 01:01:24,129
And then there was that
nasty episode in the garden.
1205
01:01:25,264 --> 01:01:30,327
What about your jumping off the
balcony au naturel, as it were?
1206
01:01:30,403 --> 01:01:33,167
Oh! Well, I was trying to get my watch back.
1207
01:01:33,239 --> 01:01:37,175
- Trying to get your watch back?
- Yes, the... The thing flew up into a tree.
1208
01:01:37,243 --> 01:01:39,575
- It was roosting there.
- Roosting in the tree?
1209
01:01:39,645 --> 01:01:42,580
Certainly! It sat there talking its face off.
1210
01:01:42,982 --> 01:01:45,610
- Schizophrenia!
- Schizophrenia, yourself!
1211
01:01:45,685 --> 01:01:48,518
We did have a long conversation.
Ask the parrot! He...
1212
01:01:48,588 --> 01:01:51,386
Gentlemen, is there anyone
who disagrees with the verdict?
1213
01:01:51,457 --> 01:01:52,719
Verdict? What verdict?
1214
01:01:52,792 --> 01:01:54,987
Just a minute, Doctor, you
can't declare this man insane.
1215
01:01:55,061 --> 01:01:57,052
- I demand another hearing.
- Look here, I'll go to the Mayor!
1216
01:01:57,130 --> 01:01:58,791
I'll go to the Governor! The President!
1217
01:01:58,865 --> 01:02:01,356
I'll get your job for
this, you old beaver-puss!
1218
01:02:01,434 --> 01:02:03,664
If there is any change in
Mr. Ireland's condition,
1219
01:02:03,736 --> 01:02:05,567
you can have a new hearing in six months.
1220
01:02:05,638 --> 01:02:06,935
- Six months?
- Six months?
1221
01:02:07,006 --> 01:02:08,439
- Have Mrs. Ireland come in, please.
- Now, look here!
1222
01:02:08,508 --> 01:02:10,703
He will be placed in the
custody of Mrs. Ireland,
1223
01:02:10,777 --> 01:02:12,005
and it will be up to her...
1224
01:02:12,078 --> 01:02:16,742
Mrs... Mrs... I'll be placed
in the... I'll be with my wife?
1225
01:02:16,816 --> 01:02:17,805
Yes.
1226
01:02:28,528 --> 01:02:31,691
And sometimes he seems almost sane.
1227
01:02:37,203 --> 01:02:38,431
Come in.
1228
01:02:39,572 --> 01:02:44,009
Mrs. Ireland, I have some
very tragic news for you.
1229
01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:47,244
Your husband has just been declared insane.
1230
01:02:47,313 --> 01:02:48,905
Declared insane?
1231
01:02:50,116 --> 01:02:51,777
Steve, you fool!
1232
01:02:52,218 --> 01:02:54,209
Oh, Susan, I tried to tell
them that I'm all right.
1233
01:02:54,287 --> 01:02:57,222
Stop it! Stop that acting, you lunatic!
1234
01:02:57,657 --> 01:03:00,990
Steve, act sensibly and show
them you're sane. You've got to!
1235
01:03:01,060 --> 01:03:02,960
You can't ruin your life this way.
1236
01:03:03,029 --> 01:03:05,395
I know this must be a terrible shock to you.
1237
01:03:05,465 --> 01:03:08,559
- Won't you sit down?
- Do you really call yourself a doctor?
1238
01:03:08,634 --> 01:03:10,329
How can you let him fool you like this?
1239
01:03:10,403 --> 01:03:13,531
My dear young lady, no one has been fooled.
1240
01:03:14,006 --> 01:03:16,406
- Steve, don't you realize that...
- Susan!
1241
01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:20,043
No one has been fooled but you.
That man is a friend of Stephen's.
1242
01:03:20,112 --> 01:03:21,238
- Which man?
- Him.
1243
01:03:21,314 --> 01:03:23,612
I saw them together at the Bristol
party. They were thick as thieves.
1244
01:03:23,683 --> 01:03:25,048
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
1245
01:03:25,117 --> 01:03:27,085
I bet Stephen was bribing him at the time.
1246
01:03:27,153 --> 01:03:30,054
That must be it. I never
thought he'd go that far.
1247
01:03:30,122 --> 01:03:33,023
Mrs. Ireland, would you
come this way, please?
1248
01:03:33,092 --> 01:03:36,323
- It is necessary that you sign this paper.
- What is it?
1249
01:03:36,395 --> 01:03:39,262
Your consent to take your
husband into your custody.
1250
01:03:39,332 --> 01:03:42,199
- Into my custody?
- Yes, that's the law, Mrs. Ireland.
1251
01:03:42,268 --> 01:03:45,499
You see, your divorce is now
postponed for at least five years.
1252
01:03:45,571 --> 01:03:46,595
But...
1253
01:03:49,809 --> 01:03:51,003
I see.
1254
01:03:51,911 --> 01:03:53,208
Doctor.
1255
01:03:54,580 --> 01:03:57,845
Is it the law that I have to
keep him with me all the time?
1256
01:03:57,917 --> 01:04:03,184
Yes, unless you wish to put him in a
sanitarium, or some such institution.
1257
01:04:03,256 --> 01:04:05,884
Could you recommend some institution?
1258
01:04:05,958 --> 01:04:08,825
Dr. Wuthering has a lovely
place in the country.
1259
01:04:08,895 --> 01:04:12,262
But you would probably both be
happier if you kept him home with you.
1260
01:04:12,331 --> 01:04:13,923
Yes.
1261
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:17,401
That's the second time you've
been wrong this morning, Doctor.
1262
01:04:18,538 --> 01:04:20,472
- Stephen, darling.
- Yes?
1263
01:04:20,540 --> 01:04:22,906
How would you like to go to the country?
1264
01:04:22,975 --> 01:04:25,307
Oh, I'd just love to go
to the country, Susan.
1265
01:04:25,378 --> 01:04:28,040
That would be wonderful!
1266
01:04:30,816 --> 01:04:32,943
Here we are, Mr. Ireland. Come on.
1267
01:04:36,689 --> 01:04:38,520
Say... Say, wait a minute.
1268
01:04:38,591 --> 01:04:41,185
Do you fellows want to make $100
apiece? Just get me to a telephone.
1269
01:04:41,260 --> 01:04:44,320
Mr. Ireland, I had a man in here a month
ago was going to give me a billion dollars
1270
01:04:44,397 --> 01:04:45,523
just because I was so pretty.
1271
01:04:45,598 --> 01:04:47,065
Do you know I never got a dime of it?
1272
01:04:52,004 --> 01:04:54,472
Hey, Doc. This is Mr. Ireland, Doctor.
1273
01:04:54,540 --> 01:04:56,235
- How do you do, Mr. Ireland.
- How do you do.
1274
01:04:56,309 --> 01:04:59,870
Dr. Wuthering is waiting for you.
Will you step this way, please?
1275
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:02,511
This is the new patient,
sir, Mr. Stephen Ireland.
1276
01:05:02,582 --> 01:05:05,210
How do you do, Mr. Ireland.
Please sit down and talk awhile.
1277
01:05:05,284 --> 01:05:08,481
Oh, I'll talk all right.
I'm just busting to talk.
1278
01:05:08,554 --> 01:05:11,114
- What about?
- Oh, anything that comes into your mind.
1279
01:05:11,190 --> 01:05:14,387
Things you like, dreams
you've had, anything at all.
1280
01:05:14,460 --> 01:05:15,484
Now, look, Doctor.
1281
01:05:15,561 --> 01:05:17,552
Of course, I realize that you've
got your mind made up about me,
1282
01:05:17,630 --> 01:05:20,155
but I'm going to make just one more try.
1283
01:05:20,232 --> 01:05:22,097
Now, you're not a quack,
you're a real doctor.
1284
01:05:22,168 --> 01:05:24,159
You know a nut when you see one. All right!
1285
01:05:24,236 --> 01:05:27,672
Give me a test. Give me any test, and
if you still think that I'm insane,
1286
01:05:27,740 --> 01:05:30,641
well, you'll be right, because
that would drive me nuts.
1287
01:05:30,710 --> 01:05:34,168
This is most interesting.
Give me Weber, Volume 3.
1288
01:05:35,314 --> 01:05:36,713
Well, aren't you going to give me a chance?
1289
01:05:36,782 --> 01:05:38,613
We are going to give you
every chance, Mr. Ireland.
1290
01:05:38,684 --> 01:05:41,482
We are going to find the root
of your trouble and eradicate it.
1291
01:05:41,554 --> 01:05:44,216
No, not this one. Case 116.
1292
01:05:44,290 --> 01:05:46,986
The one who threatened to sue because
his outboard motor wouldn't run
1293
01:05:47,059 --> 01:05:49,084
on Thousand Island dressing.
1294
01:05:49,161 --> 01:05:52,790
May I come in? Oh, I'm sorry, Doctor.
I didn't know you were in consultation.
1295
01:05:52,865 --> 01:05:55,698
- I'll see you in 10 minutes, Miss Landis.
- Thank you, Doctor.
1296
01:05:55,768 --> 01:05:59,898
I promise you, Mr. Ireland, we
are going to rehabilitate you here.
1297
01:05:59,972 --> 01:06:01,098
You will suffer, yes.
1298
01:06:01,173 --> 01:06:05,507
But ultimately you will find
yourself and emerge recreated, cured.
1299
01:06:05,578 --> 01:06:06,909
Look, Doctor.
1300
01:06:06,979 --> 01:06:08,810
Don't you think it's just possible
1301
01:06:08,881 --> 01:06:11,441
that a mistake may have been made in my case?
1302
01:06:12,985 --> 01:06:14,350
Stand up, my boy.
1303
01:06:15,087 --> 01:06:18,420
- Turn around, profile.
- I won't!
1304
01:06:20,292 --> 01:06:21,725
See, I was right.
1305
01:06:21,794 --> 01:06:24,126
Weber says they never turn around.
1306
01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:25,489
Well, that's all, Mr. Ireland.
1307
01:06:25,564 --> 01:06:26,861
Please wait outside in the garden,
1308
01:06:26,932 --> 01:06:29,560
and I'll have the houseman
show you to your room.
1309
01:06:29,635 --> 01:06:32,263
- If he can find me.
- He'll find you all right.
1310
01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:36,898
How do you do. I'm Cecilia Landis.
1311
01:06:37,343 --> 01:06:40,540
- How do you do.
- You'll be in my charge while you're here.
1312
01:06:41,514 --> 01:06:45,143
- Well, that's swell.
- I hope we'll make you very happy.
1313
01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:48,114
- Is there anything we can do for you?
- No.
1314
01:06:48,187 --> 01:06:52,453
And, Miss Landis, please don't humor
me. This whole thing is a farce. I...
1315
01:06:54,093 --> 01:06:55,355
Now, look!
1316
01:06:57,229 --> 01:06:59,925
I'm no more insane than you are. Believe me!
1317
01:06:59,999 --> 01:07:01,296
I've got to get out of here.
1318
01:07:01,367 --> 01:07:03,767
I'll give you $1,000 if you'll help me.
1319
01:07:03,836 --> 01:07:05,167
In cash?
1320
01:07:05,237 --> 01:07:08,536
Well, I'll have to give you
a check, but you can trust me.
1321
01:07:08,607 --> 01:07:09,869
All right, I will trust you.
1322
01:07:09,942 --> 01:07:13,207
And just to prove that you can trust me,
I'll give you my collection to sleep with.
1323
01:07:13,279 --> 01:07:14,746
Everything that's not
nailed down belongs to me.
1324
01:07:14,814 --> 01:07:17,044
- Congress passed a law in 1935.
- Yeah, but...
1325
01:07:17,116 --> 01:07:18,947
I just got these today.
1326
01:07:19,351 --> 01:07:22,252
Careful! They belong to him.
1327
01:07:24,890 --> 01:07:27,950
Say, Mister! I'm Jerry the houseman.
1328
01:07:28,027 --> 01:07:30,928
If you just follow me, I'll
show you where you sleep.
1329
01:07:45,346 --> 01:07:46,574
Hey!
1330
01:07:47,915 --> 01:07:50,475
- Say, you!
- Well!
1331
01:07:50,551 --> 01:07:53,384
What are you doing in my car?
Is Susan here? Where is she?
1332
01:07:53,454 --> 01:07:56,082
She has an appointment with the doctor,
but she doesn't want to talk to you,
1333
01:07:56,157 --> 01:07:58,250
so run back to your sand pile.
1334
01:08:00,027 --> 01:08:01,289
Hey, Ireland.
1335
01:08:02,263 --> 01:08:04,094
(BABBLING)
1336
01:08:06,701 --> 01:08:08,191
(LAUGHING)
1337
01:08:16,978 --> 01:08:19,412
SUSAN: Dr. Wuthering,
please don't get excited.
1338
01:08:19,480 --> 01:08:22,779
Unfortunately, it does excite me
to be asked to abandon 32 years
1339
01:08:22,850 --> 01:08:25,148
of medical experience for witchcraft.
1340
01:08:25,219 --> 01:08:28,746
Doctor, all I'm saying is I
know Steve hates cold baths.
1341
01:08:28,823 --> 01:08:30,654
If you put him in a cold bath for 20 minutes,
1342
01:08:30,725 --> 01:08:32,716
suddenly you'll see how sane he can be.
1343
01:08:32,793 --> 01:08:36,354
- Madam, your husband is not sane.
- Nonsense! Of course he is.
1344
01:08:36,430 --> 01:08:38,591
Well, perhaps you know better than I,
1345
01:08:38,666 --> 01:08:41,863
you, a society woman who wants
a change of husbands so badly
1346
01:08:41,936 --> 01:08:44,234
that she's become an
authority on mental disorders.
1347
01:08:44,305 --> 01:08:46,705
Doctor, it's just that I
know what's behind all this.
1348
01:08:46,774 --> 01:08:49,937
I'm very sorry, madam, but
I assure you your husband is,
1349
01:08:50,011 --> 01:08:54,277
medically speaking, as nutty as a fruitcake.
1350
01:08:54,615 --> 01:08:57,083
For one thing, he is
definitely a kleptomaniac.
1351
01:08:57,151 --> 01:08:58,209
Oh, that's impossible.
1352
01:08:58,285 --> 01:09:00,480
Well, every night we find his dresser drawers
1353
01:09:00,554 --> 01:09:03,546
filled with other people's
possessions that he's stolen.
1354
01:09:03,624 --> 01:09:07,856
I'm afraid he's getting progressively
worse, depressed and melancholic.
1355
01:09:07,928 --> 01:09:12,092
It may even lead to
self-destruction, suicide!
1356
01:09:12,299 --> 01:09:15,666
Oh, Doctor, if that were the truth, I
wouldn't leave him here another minute.
1357
01:09:15,736 --> 01:09:17,966
I'd take him home and
nurse him night and day.
1358
01:09:18,039 --> 01:09:20,701
You see, you have me entirely wrong.
1359
01:09:20,775 --> 01:09:22,504
I would never have given up his custody
1360
01:09:22,576 --> 01:09:25,238
if I thought he'd really
had a nervous breakdown.
1361
01:09:25,312 --> 01:09:29,544
And if anything ever convinced me of that,
I'd take him right back in my custody.
1362
01:09:29,617 --> 01:09:33,781
WUTHERING: Well, Mrs. Ireland, it might
be better for him if you did take him home.
1363
01:09:37,491 --> 01:09:39,152
Hello, Susan.
1364
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:45,096
- Mr. Ireland, where did you get that fish?
- It's mine. I always had it.
1365
01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:48,431
Don't you realize you're not supposed
to take other people's property?
1366
01:09:48,502 --> 01:09:52,666
I tell you it's mine. I... I
caught it. It's a present for Susan.
1367
01:09:52,740 --> 01:09:55,766
- I don't want it.
- Please don't talk like that.
1368
01:09:55,843 --> 01:09:57,834
We never antagonize our friends here.
1369
01:09:57,912 --> 01:09:59,937
She likes your little present very much.
1370
01:10:00,014 --> 01:10:03,211
- Then why doesn't she take it?
- She's going to. Aren't you, Mrs. Ireland?
1371
01:10:03,284 --> 01:10:04,478
All right.
1372
01:10:04,552 --> 01:10:08,215
- Remind me to send you a bird in return.
- Yes, I will.
1373
01:10:08,289 --> 01:10:11,417
- Darling, could I have a kiss?
- Certainly you may.
1374
01:10:12,059 --> 01:10:14,357
- Not you, her.
- That's what I meant.
1375
01:10:14,428 --> 01:10:16,225
No. That's where I put my foot down.
1376
01:10:16,297 --> 01:10:19,528
Is this such an unusual request
for a husband to ask of his wife?
1377
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:22,501
- Really now, Mrs. Ireland!
- Well, if you think it...
1378
01:10:23,838 --> 01:10:26,136
Oh, darling, that makes my
head feel so much better.
1379
01:10:26,207 --> 01:10:27,572
- Could I have another?
- No!
1380
01:10:27,641 --> 01:10:32,078
Mrs. Ireland, I wish you would cooperate.
We never frustrate our patients here.
1381
01:10:32,146 --> 01:10:35,673
But I didn't frustrate him once. Why
do I have to not frustrate him again?
1382
01:10:35,749 --> 01:10:37,512
Darling!
1383
01:10:41,822 --> 01:10:45,019
I'm going to get out of here.
The rules are too one-sided.
1384
01:10:45,092 --> 01:10:48,459
Mrs. Ireland, please, come back here.
1385
01:10:48,529 --> 01:10:51,987
There's a crazy man in this room,
all right, and it isn't Steve.
1386
01:11:25,699 --> 01:11:27,166
WARD: Hey, Ireland!
1387
01:11:27,768 --> 01:11:29,030
You shouldn't have walked under that ladder.
1388
01:11:29,103 --> 01:11:30,934
Don't you know it's unlucky?
1389
01:11:31,005 --> 01:11:32,302
(WARD LAUGHING)
1390
01:11:34,542 --> 01:11:37,705
Come here. I've got a
message for you from Susan.
1391
01:11:38,012 --> 01:11:40,606
Susan just wanted me to tell you that
she's leaving for Arizona tomorrow
1392
01:11:40,681 --> 01:11:42,615
unless you arrange for
a new hearing right away.
1393
01:11:42,683 --> 01:11:43,809
How can I?
1394
01:11:43,884 --> 01:11:45,613
Well, you bribed Klugle
once. Bribe him again.
1395
01:11:45,686 --> 01:11:47,586
- But I didn't...
- Oh, now listen, Ireland.
1396
01:11:47,655 --> 01:11:49,850
I know that you wouldn't have
got yourself into a mess like this
1397
01:11:49,924 --> 01:11:52,154
unless you could get out
anytime you wanted to.
1398
01:11:52,226 --> 01:11:54,057
What's more, Susan agrees with me.
1399
01:11:54,128 --> 01:11:56,824
Listen, you fake Hiawatha, one of these days
1400
01:11:56,897 --> 01:11:59,525
I'm going to spread you
around like warm butter.
1401
01:11:59,600 --> 01:12:02,797
It's all right with me if you want to
be stubborn. Personally, I like Arizona.
1402
01:12:02,870 --> 01:12:04,201
- What?
- Yeah.
1403
01:12:04,271 --> 01:12:07,172
Hey, wait a minute! Wait a
minute. Let me think this over.
1404
01:12:07,241 --> 01:12:09,709
I'll give you five minutes. Holler
when you've made up your mind.
1405
01:12:09,777 --> 01:12:12,007
I'll get in a few archery exercises.
1406
01:12:27,027 --> 01:12:28,688
(HOLLERING)
1407
01:12:35,603 --> 01:12:38,037
- Why can't I play Indians any more?
- But you can.
1408
01:12:38,105 --> 01:12:39,902
- You can play Indians all you want.
- No, I can't.
1409
01:12:39,974 --> 01:12:42,499
Hiawatha ran away, the
gardener left the gate open.
1410
01:12:42,576 --> 01:12:45,841
- What's that?
- Yes, there's Hiawatha. He sneaked out.
1411
01:12:48,249 --> 01:12:50,114
Eddie, Sam, come on, quick!
1412
01:12:55,489 --> 01:12:57,389
Come along, buddy. We're going back inside.
1413
01:12:57,458 --> 01:13:01,224
Hey, what's the idea? Let go of my
arm. Wait a minute, wait a minute!
1414
01:13:02,863 --> 01:13:05,889
Wait! Wait a minute. You fellows
are making a terrible mistake.
1415
01:13:05,966 --> 01:13:09,026
- Do you know who I am?
- I know. You're Hiawatha.
1416
01:13:09,103 --> 01:13:11,037
- You framed me.
- Now, wait a minute.
1417
01:13:11,105 --> 01:13:13,073
Oh, out of my way! I'm getting out of here.
1418
01:13:13,140 --> 01:13:16,041
Now, take it easy, or we'll
have to give you a shot.
1419
01:13:16,277 --> 01:13:17,801
Who's running this place?
I want to talk to him.
1420
01:13:17,878 --> 01:13:19,106
Just a moment, sonny.
1421
01:13:19,179 --> 01:13:20,737
You were sent out in this yard to rest.
1422
01:13:20,814 --> 01:13:23,044
Now, unless you do it, we're
gonna have to put you in solitary.
1423
01:13:23,117 --> 01:13:25,210
Somebody's gonna suffer for this.
1424
01:13:25,286 --> 01:13:26,480
(BABBLING)
1425
01:13:27,288 --> 01:13:29,279
Let me go, just for a
second, will you, fellows?
1426
01:13:42,670 --> 01:13:44,604
- Hiawatha, where are we going?
- Keep quiet!
1427
01:13:44,672 --> 01:13:46,401
- If you make a sound, I'll...
- Don't be foolish.
1428
01:13:46,473 --> 01:13:48,600
- This is just what I've been looking for.
- Oh, no. Nothing doing.
1429
01:13:48,676 --> 01:13:50,974
- You're staying here.
- Okay.
1430
01:13:51,045 --> 01:13:53,707
- All right, all right. All right.
- Well, that's different.
1431
01:13:53,781 --> 01:13:56,341
Now, let's see how we can work this out.
1432
01:13:56,417 --> 01:13:58,510
Look, you stand on the net and
hold it taut while I climb up,
1433
01:13:58,585 --> 01:13:59,643
and then I'll pull you up.
1434
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:01,711
- What do you mean? Like this?
- No, no, not that way, it'll slip.
1435
01:14:01,789 --> 01:14:03,120
Put your foot through the hole.
1436
01:14:03,190 --> 01:14:05,624
- Like that?
- Yeah. Now wrap the net around it.
1437
01:14:05,693 --> 01:14:10,062
- Oh, I get you. Like that, huh?
- That's fine. That's swell. Look here.
1438
01:14:10,898 --> 01:14:13,799
- Now grab this.
- All right, hold it. Now, here we go!
1439
01:14:19,373 --> 01:14:22,365
- Come on! Come on! Speed it up, will you?
- Just a sec!
1440
01:14:22,443 --> 01:14:23,535
Who's that?
1441
01:14:24,878 --> 01:14:28,336
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm caught!
1442
01:14:28,415 --> 01:14:31,680
Hey, my foot! Hey! Wait! Hey!
1443
01:14:32,686 --> 01:14:33,983
You wait, you...
1444
01:14:37,458 --> 01:14:39,483
You dirty double-crosser!
1445
01:14:39,560 --> 01:14:42,620
Hey, Jim! Come on. This
guy's trying to hang himself.
1446
01:14:43,497 --> 01:14:44,623
Oh, I'm choking.
1447
01:14:45,232 --> 01:14:48,497
I'm sorry, Mr. Ireland, but from now
on I have to confine you to your room.
1448
01:14:48,569 --> 01:14:50,764
After all, you did try to kill yourself.
1449
01:14:50,838 --> 01:14:52,169
Doctor, I didn't try to kill myself.
1450
01:14:52,239 --> 01:14:54,104
I was just trying to
keep a man from escaping.
1451
01:14:54,174 --> 01:14:55,641
What man?
1452
01:14:55,943 --> 01:14:57,103
Well, I don't know who he was.
1453
01:14:57,177 --> 01:14:59,941
See! No one ever escaped
from here. That's impossible.
1454
01:15:00,013 --> 01:15:02,777
- Take him to his room.
- Look! No, no, just a minute. Look, Doctor.
1455
01:15:02,850 --> 01:15:04,317
Will you come with me?
1456
01:15:04,385 --> 01:15:07,149
Let me show you exactly what he did.
1457
01:15:07,221 --> 01:15:08,779
All right. Come along.
1458
01:15:08,856 --> 01:15:10,551
Be back in a few minutes
if someone should call.
1459
01:15:10,624 --> 01:15:11,648
Yes, sir.
1460
01:15:12,259 --> 01:15:16,593
Yeah, and then he... He
climbed up, just like this.
1461
01:15:16,663 --> 01:15:19,689
- I see, just like that.
- Yes.
1462
01:15:19,767 --> 01:15:22,099
And then the next thing he did...
1463
01:15:22,736 --> 01:15:27,435
- Are your feet still in the holes, Doctor?
- Yes, yes. I haven't moved yet.
1464
01:15:27,508 --> 01:15:32,946
Well, Doctor, he... He
leaned down like this and...
1465
01:15:33,414 --> 01:15:35,644
- Oh, who's that, Doctor?
- Yes?
1466
01:15:37,384 --> 01:15:40,080
Oh! Help! Hey!
1467
01:15:41,054 --> 01:15:42,214
(WUTHERING SHOUTING)
1468
01:15:42,289 --> 01:15:47,454
Doctor, did you ever see anything like this
in all your 32 years of medical experience?
1469
01:15:47,528 --> 01:15:50,929
Help! Hey! Come here!
1470
01:15:56,236 --> 01:15:58,431
- Hello, Mr. Ireland.
- Hello, Joe.
1471
01:15:58,505 --> 01:16:00,132
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
1472
01:16:03,110 --> 01:16:07,206
- The police are after someone.
- Yeah. Well, let's go, Joe.
1473
01:16:07,281 --> 01:16:09,215
- Yes, sir.
- I'm in a hurry.
1474
01:16:10,517 --> 01:16:13,884
Doctor, when you find Steve,
will you bring him to me?
1475
01:16:13,954 --> 01:16:15,717
I'm not going to send
him back to the rest home.
1476
01:16:15,789 --> 01:16:17,757
Sorry, Mrs. Ireland, he must come back.
1477
01:16:17,825 --> 01:16:19,952
- But why? He's in my custody.
- Not anymore.
1478
01:16:20,027 --> 01:16:22,894
- You see, he tried to kill Dr. Wuthering.
- He what?
1479
01:16:22,963 --> 01:16:25,431
We now regard him as definitely homicidal.
1480
01:16:25,632 --> 01:16:27,429
- Homicidal?
- Unfortunately.
1481
01:16:27,501 --> 01:16:30,402
And it's against the law to allow
private custody in such cases.
1482
01:16:30,471 --> 01:16:32,063
Much too dangerous.
1483
01:16:32,139 --> 01:16:33,367
That's why the police are coming.
1484
01:16:33,440 --> 01:16:34,998
(PHONE RINGING)
1485
01:16:35,075 --> 01:16:37,305
Pardon me. That should be the police now.
1486
01:16:37,377 --> 01:16:38,401
Hello.
1487
01:16:38,479 --> 01:16:40,606
Hello, Doctor, this is Sergeant Payson.
1488
01:16:40,681 --> 01:16:43,844
Ireland got in about two minutes
ago. I posted men at all the exits.
1489
01:16:43,917 --> 01:16:45,680
We're ready to start searching now.
1490
01:16:45,752 --> 01:16:47,014
Very well, Sergeant.
1491
01:16:47,087 --> 01:16:49,920
We'll leave you in charge. We're
going back to the sanatorium.
1492
01:16:49,990 --> 01:16:52,481
He's in the building, Mrs. Ireland.
But don't worry, the police are here.
1493
01:16:52,559 --> 01:16:53,651
They have every exit covered.
1494
01:16:53,727 --> 01:16:55,422
- They'll catch him soon.
- Goodbye, Mrs. Ireland.
1495
01:16:55,496 --> 01:16:57,691
- Come, Doctor.
- Goodbye, Mrs. Ireland.
1496
01:17:07,307 --> 01:17:10,003
- Good evening, Mr. Ireland.
- Good evening, Tom.
1497
01:17:12,579 --> 01:17:14,638
Oh, isn't Mr. Willoughby home?
1498
01:17:14,715 --> 01:17:17,206
- It doesn't seem so, sir.
- Oh, let me take that in for you.
1499
01:17:17,284 --> 01:17:20,515
- I just came down to borrow some ice.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
1500
01:17:27,661 --> 01:17:28,787
(DOOR OPENING)
1501
01:17:41,875 --> 01:17:43,467
Why, you...
1502
01:17:56,924 --> 01:17:58,721
- Steve.
- Isobel.
1503
01:17:58,792 --> 01:18:00,987
Could you hide me someplace?
The cops are after me.
1504
01:18:01,061 --> 01:18:02,995
PINKY: I got the clippings
on my Chicago exhibit.
1505
01:18:03,063 --> 01:18:04,155
I can't.
1506
01:18:04,231 --> 01:18:07,598
- Pinky's here. He's in the shower.
- PINKY: They stank to high heaven.
1507
01:18:07,668 --> 01:18:10,831
If he finds you here, he'll kill
you. Oh, that's lovely, dear.
1508
01:18:10,904 --> 01:18:13,270
- Oh, here he comes.
- PINKY: What do you mean, lovely?
1509
01:18:13,340 --> 01:18:17,071
- I'm a dead duck.
- But I said, "Not so lovely," dear.
1510
01:18:17,144 --> 01:18:19,704
Hey, Mrs. Grayson, did
Steve Ireland come in here?
1511
01:18:19,780 --> 01:18:22,078
- Why, of course not.
- I'm sorry.
1512
01:18:22,149 --> 01:18:24,674
WARD: Hey, officer, he's down
on this terrace. I just saw him.
1513
01:18:24,751 --> 01:18:27,948
- Hey, what goes on here?
- Nothing, dear.
1514
01:18:28,021 --> 01:18:30,785
Well, who were you talking to? I
just heard a man's voice in here.
1515
01:18:30,857 --> 01:18:33,826
Oh, that was somebody at the window. It
was about a man they were looking for.
1516
01:18:34,394 --> 01:18:37,295
Well, why would they be looking
for a man in your apartment?
1517
01:18:37,364 --> 01:18:39,992
You there! What are you doing on my terrace?
1518
01:18:40,067 --> 01:18:41,694
WARD: We're looking for a homicidal maniac.
1519
01:18:41,768 --> 01:18:44,168
ISOBEL: A homicidal
maniac, why, that's silly!
1520
01:18:44,237 --> 01:18:46,603
There is nothing silly
about a homicidal maniac.
1521
01:18:46,673 --> 01:18:48,231
Oh, wait, dear. Where are you going?
1522
01:18:48,308 --> 01:18:50,776
- I'm going to take my shower.
- But you just took your shower.
1523
01:18:50,844 --> 01:18:54,109
Didn't start yet. Just washed my
hair. I've got to get this soap out.
1524
01:18:54,181 --> 01:18:56,411
Oh, but don't leave me. I... I'm afraid.
1525
01:18:56,483 --> 01:18:58,883
- Well, come on in with me, then.
- Let's go in my bathroom.
1526
01:18:58,952 --> 01:19:02,012
I'll get all the soap out with my
spray. It's much better for your scalp.
1527
01:19:02,089 --> 01:19:05,058
Now, look, for 40 years I've
washed my head under a shower.
1528
01:19:05,125 --> 01:19:06,990
It works, and I like it.
1529
01:19:08,829 --> 01:19:12,765
- But Pinky, I... Wait! Wait!
- What?
1530
01:19:13,100 --> 01:19:15,068
I... I guess I'm just nervous.
1531
01:19:17,270 --> 01:19:18,259
(GASPS)
1532
01:19:18,905 --> 01:19:20,429
What's the matter?
1533
01:19:20,874 --> 01:19:22,899
Oh, Pinky, I... I'm sure
I heard something out there.
1534
01:19:22,976 --> 01:19:24,443
You'd better go and look and see what it is.
1535
01:19:24,511 --> 01:19:26,604
Well, I didn't hear anything.
You're just jumpy, that's all.
1536
01:19:26,680 --> 01:19:27,806
Yes, I am.
1537
01:19:27,881 --> 01:19:30,315
You'd think these apartments would
give you hot water when you... Ow!
1538
01:19:30,384 --> 01:19:32,614
There it goes! All of a sudden.
1539
01:19:34,588 --> 01:19:38,080
Pinky! Pinky, wait. That's much too hot.
1540
01:19:38,158 --> 01:19:40,422
There, that's better. It's nice and tepid.
1541
01:19:40,494 --> 01:19:43,759
But I don't want it nice
and tepid. I want it hot.
1542
01:19:44,398 --> 01:19:47,731
I'm tired and I want a
red-hot shower. Do you mind?
1543
01:19:47,801 --> 01:19:50,770
No, I don't mind, Pinky,
but it isn't good for you.
1544
01:19:50,837 --> 01:19:54,534
Will you please go outside
and let me take my shower?
1545
01:20:01,581 --> 01:20:04,049
Hey! Oh, get me a towel.
1546
01:20:04,117 --> 01:20:08,713
Get me... Isobel, get me a towel.
The soap's in my eyes. Help!
1547
01:20:08,789 --> 01:20:10,416
Oh, thank you, darling.
1548
01:20:19,833 --> 01:20:21,767
- Steamed pudding.
- They said you were a maniac.
1549
01:20:21,835 --> 01:20:23,427
- What have you been up to?
- Had an argument with my wife.
1550
01:20:23,503 --> 01:20:25,869
- Steve, did you kill her?
- Kill her? Of course not!
1551
01:20:25,939 --> 01:20:28,203
I'll... I'll tell you about it later.
1552
01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:35,009
- Hello, Officer. Have you found him yet?
- Not yet, ma'am.
1553
01:20:35,082 --> 01:20:37,550
We're searching all the apartments.
Get to yours in a little while.
1554
01:20:37,617 --> 01:20:38,641
Good.
1555
01:20:38,719 --> 01:20:41,415
Come on! You'll have to hide in my room.
1556
01:20:41,488 --> 01:20:44,321
PINKY: Isobel, will you
bring me some dry towels?
1557
01:20:44,391 --> 01:20:46,518
Go on! I'll find some way to get you out!
1558
01:20:46,593 --> 01:20:47,924
Yes, dear.
1559
01:21:13,854 --> 01:21:15,082
COP: I wouldn't stand out there, sir.
1560
01:21:15,155 --> 01:21:16,554
If that nut is above you,
he might drop something
1561
01:21:16,623 --> 01:21:19,023
- down on top of you.
- WARD: He might at that.
1562
01:21:19,092 --> 01:21:21,754
Say, officer, be sure and let Mrs.
Ireland know as soon as you find him.
1563
01:21:21,828 --> 01:21:23,455
Will do that, sir.
1564
01:21:24,965 --> 01:21:27,297
Nothing yet, but they're bound
to glom onto him any minute.
1565
01:21:27,367 --> 01:21:29,232
Ward, do you think Steve
has a chance to get to me?
1566
01:21:29,302 --> 01:21:31,099
Not a prayer, so don't worry about it.
1567
01:21:31,171 --> 01:21:33,571
- I'm not worried. I want him to come here.
- What?
1568
01:21:33,640 --> 01:21:36,200
Don't tell me you fell for
that homicidal maniac stuff.
1569
01:21:36,276 --> 01:21:39,734
No, but those doctors have, and I don't
understand why. I want to talk to him.
1570
01:21:39,813 --> 01:21:40,837
Don't do it, Susan.
1571
01:21:40,914 --> 01:21:43,041
He cooked up this party, let
him stew in his own juice.
1572
01:21:43,116 --> 01:21:46,552
Ward, don't argue. Help me.
Get the police off his track.
1573
01:21:46,620 --> 01:21:49,020
Take them to the wrong apartment, anything.
1574
01:21:49,089 --> 01:21:51,785
Give Steve a chance to
get to me. Please, Ward.
1575
01:21:51,858 --> 01:21:54,224
- Yeah, but I...
- Please!
1576
01:21:54,694 --> 01:21:57,629
Oh, all right, Susan. I'll see what I can do.
1577
01:22:13,847 --> 01:22:15,974
Pinky, do you mind if I
don't go with you tonight?
1578
01:22:16,049 --> 01:22:17,414
Of course I mind. What's the matter?
1579
01:22:17,484 --> 01:22:19,509
Are you sore because I
asked you to tie my tie?
1580
01:22:19,586 --> 01:22:20,780
Oh, Pinky.
1581
01:22:20,854 --> 01:22:22,151
(DOORBELL RINGING)
1582
01:22:22,222 --> 01:22:26,181
Say, what's the matter with you
tonight? Acting like a cat on hot bricks!
1583
01:22:28,161 --> 01:22:30,288
The police are ready to search
your apartment now, Mr. Grayson.
1584
01:22:30,363 --> 01:22:32,058
Well, what for? They were
in here a half an hour ago.
1585
01:22:32,132 --> 01:22:34,066
- No one's come in here since.
- Sorry, sir.
1586
01:22:34,134 --> 01:22:36,227
- But we can't take any chances.
- Well, we're going out very soon.
1587
01:22:36,303 --> 01:22:37,736
Why don't you search somewhere else first?
1588
01:22:37,804 --> 01:22:39,499
- What about that apartment over there?
- Well, that's mine.
1589
01:22:39,573 --> 01:22:41,165
He ran out of there a half an hour ago.
1590
01:22:41,241 --> 01:22:43,436
Then I'll bet you a hat
that's where he is now.
1591
01:22:43,510 --> 01:22:45,978
They always double on their tracks.
They're very clever, you know.
1592
01:22:46,046 --> 01:22:47,911
- Maybe she's right.
- Come on, we'll have a look.
1593
01:22:47,981 --> 01:22:50,882
- Come on, Pinky, let's watch the fun.
- What fun? Go on and get your coat.
1594
01:22:50,951 --> 01:22:53,249
- We're late now.
- Oh, Pinky. I want to see him captured.
1595
01:22:53,320 --> 01:22:55,788
Oh, all right. Maybe they'll shoot.
1596
01:22:56,489 --> 01:22:59,083
All right, folks. Back to
your apartments now, please.
1597
01:22:59,159 --> 01:23:00,956
Isn't it terrible!
1598
01:23:01,027 --> 01:23:02,961
A couple of you boys better
search the bedroom and the terrace.
1599
01:23:03,029 --> 01:23:04,826
All right, boys.
1600
01:23:08,768 --> 01:23:10,292
Somebody's been here.
1601
01:23:11,872 --> 01:23:13,271
- Anything?
- No.
1602
01:23:13,340 --> 01:23:15,331
- See anything back there, boys?
- Nobody here.
1603
01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:16,705
He's not here. Come on across the hall.
1604
01:23:16,776 --> 01:23:19,336
I better lock the back door. We don't
want him doubling back here later.
1605
01:23:19,412 --> 01:23:21,710
All right. Come on, men.
1606
01:23:22,115 --> 01:23:23,343
Well.
1607
01:23:24,451 --> 01:23:27,716
- Oh, miss, have they found him?
- No, not yet.
1608
01:23:27,787 --> 01:23:29,812
Do you think they will find him?
1609
01:23:31,791 --> 01:23:34,225
Yes, they'll find him, if
he doesn't get out of here.
1610
01:23:34,294 --> 01:23:36,626
Yes, how true.
1611
01:23:37,297 --> 01:23:39,925
Yes, madam. The Ireland
apartment's on the 12th floor.
1612
01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:42,594
- Oh, yes, thank you.
- Madam, if you'll excuse me,
1613
01:23:42,669 --> 01:23:45,137
I don't think Mrs. Ireland
is receiving any visitors.
1614
01:23:45,205 --> 01:23:47,469
Oh, but I'm not a visitor.
I'm a member of the family.
1615
01:23:47,540 --> 01:23:50,532
Oh, sure, I see the resemblance. I'll
bet you're his mother, aren't you?
1616
01:23:50,610 --> 01:23:52,976
I beg your pardon. I'm his sister.
1617
01:23:54,014 --> 01:23:56,380
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to make such a dumb remark.
1618
01:23:56,449 --> 01:23:58,974
- Quite all right, quite all right.
- My name's Willoughby, Ward Willoughby.
1619
01:23:59,052 --> 01:24:00,713
- How do you do.
- Look, Ward, let's help them find Steve.
1620
01:24:00,787 --> 01:24:03,654
- I'd like to show her up to 12A.
- No, no, no, no. I know the way.
1621
01:24:03,723 --> 01:24:06,351
That is, I can find it. The 12th, please.
1622
01:24:06,426 --> 01:24:07,723
Oh, it's no trouble at all.
1623
01:24:07,794 --> 01:24:09,659
You know, you look awfully
familiar. Haven't we met somewhere?
1624
01:24:09,729 --> 01:24:12,163
No, no, I was never
there. Going up! Going up!
1625
01:24:12,232 --> 01:24:13,597
She's very nervous. She wants to be alone.
1626
01:24:13,667 --> 01:24:15,635
The least I can do is
show her to the apartment.
1627
01:24:15,702 --> 01:24:18,000
- Yes, but...
- Up, boy! Up!
1628
01:24:18,071 --> 01:24:22,474
That's the screwiest old dame
I ever saw. Maybe Steve is nuts.
1629
01:24:31,384 --> 01:24:35,445
- Oh, you can't go in there, lady.
- Oh, it's all right, officer.
1630
01:24:35,522 --> 01:24:38,821
- I'm the unfortunate man's sister.
- Okay, ma'am.
1631
01:24:46,066 --> 01:24:48,534
Yes? Is there something you wanted?
1632
01:24:48,835 --> 01:24:50,996
- Susan.
- Steve!
1633
01:24:51,071 --> 01:24:52,629
- Susan.
- Oh, wait!
1634
01:24:52,706 --> 01:24:56,039
- What in the world are you doing in that?
- Susan, I'm in a terrible jam.
1635
01:24:56,109 --> 01:24:58,043
Well, I know, but what
are you trying to prove?
1636
01:24:58,111 --> 01:24:59,976
But they're... They're after me with guns.
1637
01:25:00,046 --> 01:25:01,536
Look, I'm a homicidal maniac.
1638
01:25:01,614 --> 01:25:04,014
- So I hear but I don't believe it, personally.
- No, of course not.
1639
01:25:04,084 --> 01:25:05,711
But they believe it, and if they catch me,
1640
01:25:05,785 --> 01:25:08,982
well, I'll be sitting in a padded
cell in a straitjacket from now on.
1641
01:25:09,055 --> 01:25:11,023
Steve, you might have known
something like this would happen.
1642
01:25:11,091 --> 01:25:12,786
I still can't understand why you...
1643
01:25:12,859 --> 01:25:14,292
Susan, are you going to quarrel with me now?
1644
01:25:14,361 --> 01:25:16,625
I've had the most terrible
time just trying to get to you.
1645
01:25:16,696 --> 01:25:18,926
I've been chased, scalded, drowned...
1646
01:25:18,999 --> 01:25:20,466
Look, I even had to shave off my mustache.
1647
01:25:20,533 --> 01:25:22,558
- Doesn't that prove I love you?
- Perhaps, but it...
1648
01:25:22,635 --> 01:25:25,763
It doesn't prove why you didn't use that
taxicab the night of our anniversary.
1649
01:25:25,839 --> 01:25:28,239
But that... Darling, I forgot about it.
1650
01:25:28,308 --> 01:25:31,471
I told you that all we did was to walk
over to a little bar and have a drink.
1651
01:25:31,544 --> 01:25:33,671
I spent the whole evening talking about you.
1652
01:25:33,747 --> 01:25:36,716
Honest, darling, I completely
forgot that we had a taxi waiting.
1653
01:25:36,783 --> 01:25:39,445
- I wish I could believe that.
- Well, then, why don't you believe it?
1654
01:25:39,519 --> 01:25:41,851
Oh, look, honey cake, you hide me somewhere
1655
01:25:41,921 --> 01:25:44,116
until the cops leave the
building, and then tomorrow morning
1656
01:25:44,190 --> 01:25:46,556
we'll hop on a plane and fly to Canada.
1657
01:25:46,693 --> 01:25:49,753
George can pull some wires and
straighten out this lunacy business
1658
01:25:49,829 --> 01:25:53,788
while we're having a second honeymoon,
Susan, a wonderful second honeymoon.
1659
01:25:53,867 --> 01:25:56,199
- All right, I'll do it.
- Oh, darling.
1660
01:25:56,536 --> 01:25:58,595
No, no. I mean, I'll hide you.
1661
01:25:58,671 --> 01:26:01,299
- You'll go to Canada alone.
- But, Susan...
1662
01:26:01,374 --> 01:26:02,363
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1663
01:26:03,343 --> 01:26:04,435
That's his voice.
1664
01:26:05,078 --> 01:26:07,342
You better... You better go in there.
1665
01:26:08,982 --> 01:26:11,348
And be very quiet.
1666
01:26:13,720 --> 01:26:15,085
Where is he, Susan? Where is he, in there?
1667
01:26:15,155 --> 01:26:17,020
- Where's who?
- Steve. We heard his voice.
1668
01:26:17,090 --> 01:26:18,148
He is here, isn't he?
1669
01:26:18,224 --> 01:26:19,953
I seem to recall asking
you not to look for him.
1670
01:26:20,026 --> 01:26:23,189
Now, Susan, I'm not going to let Steve put
this over on you, no matter what you say.
1671
01:26:23,263 --> 01:26:25,094
- Later on you'll thank me for it.
- Come on, officer.
1672
01:26:25,165 --> 01:26:27,599
Officer, stay right where you are
unless you have a search warrant.
1673
01:26:27,667 --> 01:26:29,134
Oh, now Susan, be reasonable.
1674
01:26:29,202 --> 01:26:30,226
(DOORBELL RINGING)
1675
01:26:32,005 --> 01:26:35,497
Susan! Dear me. I've been so frightened.
I've just heard Steve escaped.
1676
01:26:35,575 --> 01:26:37,805
- Are you all right?
- Of course I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be?
1677
01:26:41,448 --> 01:26:42,437
(EX CLAIMS)
1678
01:26:42,582 --> 01:26:44,948
Oh, I... I beg your pardon, madam.
1679
01:26:45,018 --> 01:26:48,249
- Oh, dear. How you frightened me.
- I'm sorry.
1680
01:26:48,321 --> 01:26:51,188
Oh, it's... It's... It's
quite all right, Officer.
1681
01:26:51,257 --> 01:26:54,556
I realize that you were...
You were just doing your duty.
1682
01:26:54,627 --> 01:26:56,652
- We were looking for a maniac.
- Oh, yes, yes,
1683
01:26:56,729 --> 01:27:00,028
but it might be a very good idea if
you got into the habit of knocking
1684
01:27:00,100 --> 01:27:01,692
when coming into a room.
1685
01:27:01,768 --> 01:27:04,066
It might have been a very
embarrassing incident for both of us.
1686
01:27:04,137 --> 01:27:06,662
- Excuse me, please.
- That's quite all right.
1687
01:27:07,240 --> 01:27:10,573
Susan, you didn't tell
me that you had company.
1688
01:27:10,643 --> 01:27:15,410
Well, I was trying to keep
them from disturbing you.
1689
01:27:15,482 --> 01:27:18,610
- Oh, but...
- I... I'd like to introduce...
1690
01:27:18,685 --> 01:27:20,585
Oh, it's no disturbance at all.
1691
01:27:20,653 --> 01:27:24,180
I'm always happy to meet
friends of my brother, Stephen's.
1692
01:27:24,257 --> 01:27:26,157
My mother and Mr. Willoughby.
1693
01:27:26,226 --> 01:27:28,387
- How do you do.
- Oh, yes, we've met.
1694
01:27:28,461 --> 01:27:29,985
- Yes, how do you do.
- Yes.
1695
01:27:30,063 --> 01:27:32,258
So you're Susan's mother.
1696
01:27:32,899 --> 01:27:36,892
I'm just ever so... Well,
just... Just ever so...
1697
01:27:36,970 --> 01:27:38,699
Stephen's sister?
1698
01:27:39,439 --> 01:27:41,839
Oh, yes, I remember, from Saskatchewan.
1699
01:27:41,908 --> 01:27:43,569
Yes, that's right. From Saskatchewan.
1700
01:27:43,643 --> 01:27:45,873
Madam, do you mind if we search
the rest of the apartment?
1701
01:27:45,945 --> 01:27:48,209
Yes, I do mind.
1702
01:27:48,515 --> 01:27:51,075
Now will you stop snooping
around and get out of here?
1703
01:27:51,151 --> 01:27:53,449
Well, okay, lady, but if that nut
shows up around here and kills you,
1704
01:27:53,520 --> 01:27:56,284
don't blame the police
department. Come on, Dick.
1705
01:27:56,756 --> 01:27:58,986
Kills you? Whatever's going on here?
1706
01:27:59,058 --> 01:28:01,219
Susan won't tell us where Steve is hiding.
1707
01:28:01,294 --> 01:28:03,592
- But you don't know, do you, dear?
- She sure does.
1708
01:28:03,663 --> 01:28:05,961
We heard his voice in
here not five minutes ago.
1709
01:28:06,032 --> 01:28:08,660
Will you give me one good reason
why this is any business of yours?
1710
01:28:08,735 --> 01:28:11,898
It's anybody's business who likes you to
keep you from making a fool of yourself.
1711
01:28:11,971 --> 01:28:15,134
SUSAN: Really? I still think
it's none of your business.
1712
01:28:15,208 --> 01:28:17,904
- Suppose I want to make a fool of myself?
- Now, now, dear.
1713
01:28:17,977 --> 01:28:20,377
It's only natural that you should
have a weakness for Stephen,
1714
01:28:20,446 --> 01:28:22,914
but you'll never be happy until
you've fought it and conquered it.
1715
01:28:22,982 --> 01:28:24,313
WARD: Your mother's absolutely right, Susan.
1716
01:28:24,384 --> 01:28:27,251
Steve double-crossed you once and he'll
do it again if you give him the chance.
1717
01:28:27,320 --> 01:28:29,345
- Your garter!
- What?
1718
01:28:29,422 --> 01:28:30,446
Oh, nothing.
1719
01:28:30,523 --> 01:28:33,583
I was just asking Miss Ireland to pardon you.
1720
01:28:33,660 --> 01:28:36,686
You're being very rude talking like
this in front of Steve's sister.
1721
01:28:36,763 --> 01:28:39,425
WARD: Gee, I'm sorry, I... I didn't
mean to be rude, Susan, honest.
1722
01:28:39,499 --> 01:28:41,763
But if a thing's true, I
just go ahead and say it.
1723
01:28:41,834 --> 01:28:42,926
MRS. COOPER: You're perfectly right.
1724
01:28:43,002 --> 01:28:44,401
You can't make an omelet
without breaking eggs.
1725
01:28:44,470 --> 01:28:45,494
WARD: That's right.
1726
01:28:45,572 --> 01:28:49,633
I'm sorry if I offended you, miss, but
it's not my fault if Steve's a stinker.
1727
01:28:49,709 --> 01:28:51,472
A stinker?
1728
01:28:52,212 --> 01:28:55,306
- Now, see here, Mr...
- Willoughby. Ward Willoughby.
1729
01:28:55,415 --> 01:28:58,612
Mr. Willoughby. I've heard
just about enough from...
1730
01:28:59,219 --> 01:29:01,016
WARD: What's the matter? MRS.
COOPER: Are you feeling ill?
1731
01:29:01,087 --> 01:29:03,851
- What is it?
- Well, I... I don't know.
1732
01:29:03,923 --> 01:29:06,858
I don't feel any pain,
but I can't straighten up.
1733
01:29:06,926 --> 01:29:08,917
Lumbago! That's exactly the way it gets you.
1734
01:29:08,995 --> 01:29:11,088
Now come on inside, and
I'll take off your clothes.
1735
01:29:11,164 --> 01:29:12,631
- Oh, no! I wouldn't do that.
- Oh, no!
1736
01:29:12,699 --> 01:29:14,792
Oh, but you'll be so much more comfortable.
1737
01:29:14,867 --> 01:29:17,301
Oh, no! I'm quite comfortable, thank you.
1738
01:29:17,370 --> 01:29:19,838
I'm sure that I'll be all right.
1739
01:29:19,906 --> 01:29:20,964
(GARTER SNAPPING)
1740
01:29:21,040 --> 01:29:22,871
Holy Moses! What was that?
1741
01:29:23,910 --> 01:29:25,775
Oh, I guess it was just my spine.
1742
01:29:25,845 --> 01:29:30,373
- Are you all right?
- Oh, yes, yes, I... I feel fine now. I think.
1743
01:29:30,450 --> 01:29:33,385
Say, I just thought... Miss
Ireland's been in here all the time.
1744
01:29:33,453 --> 01:29:35,887
You must know where Steve is, too!
1745
01:29:36,356 --> 01:29:39,917
- Well, suppose I do?
- Well, you better spill it.
1746
01:29:40,827 --> 01:29:42,795
Well, indeed!
1747
01:29:42,862 --> 01:29:45,228
You want me to call the
cops? They'll make you talk.
1748
01:29:45,298 --> 01:29:47,630
How dare you threaten me!
1749
01:29:48,801 --> 01:29:52,362
- Take it easy!
- Oh, dear. I'm so sorry.
1750
01:29:52,438 --> 01:29:54,429
- Pardon my hot temper.
- Well...
1751
01:29:54,507 --> 01:29:56,873
You can't blame Miss Ireland for
trying to defend her own brother.
1752
01:29:56,943 --> 01:30:00,504
Well, it's my duty. After all,
Stephen is my own flesh and blood.
1753
01:30:00,580 --> 01:30:01,604
He certainly is.
1754
01:30:01,681 --> 01:30:03,342
I'll tell you what Steve
really is, if you want to know.
1755
01:30:03,416 --> 01:30:04,883
Never mind, Ward, I'm not
interested in your opinion.
1756
01:30:04,951 --> 01:30:08,580
Oh, but I am, dear. Go on,
sir, tell me about Steve.
1757
01:30:08,655 --> 01:30:11,351
He's a fake, and a cheat and a bad sport.
1758
01:30:11,424 --> 01:30:12,413
(EX CLAIMS)
1759
01:30:12,759 --> 01:30:16,786
- Hey!
- Oh, oh, dear. How embarrassing.
1760
01:30:16,863 --> 01:30:18,387
I'm so impulsive.
1761
01:30:18,464 --> 01:30:22,298
- I got a good mind to let you have...
- Ward! What are you thinking of?
1762
01:30:22,368 --> 01:30:24,336
Well, what ever it was,
I'm still thinking of it.
1763
01:30:24,404 --> 01:30:27,271
My dear Miss Ireland, you
do have a hasty temper.
1764
01:30:27,340 --> 01:30:30,104
Oh, dear. All our family are like that.
1765
01:30:30,176 --> 01:30:33,805
You know, Stephen once nearly
killed three men with his bare hands.
1766
01:30:33,880 --> 01:30:36,576
- How horrible.
- What were they, pygmies?
1767
01:30:37,283 --> 01:30:39,615
- You mean you doubt my word?
- I mean somebody's a liar,
1768
01:30:39,686 --> 01:30:42,917
maybe it's Steve, maybe
it's you. I don't know.
1769
01:30:42,989 --> 01:30:45,822
Why, if I were a man, I'd
knock you down for that.
1770
01:30:46,826 --> 01:30:50,125
- Oh, dear! There I go again!
- Oh, my goodness.
1771
01:30:50,196 --> 01:30:51,686
Oh, I'm so ashamed.
1772
01:30:51,764 --> 01:30:53,891
But I was never so insulted, really,
1773
01:30:53,966 --> 01:30:59,233
flying 2,000 miles to be
called a liar right to my face.
1774
01:30:59,305 --> 01:31:00,294
(SOBBING)
1775
01:31:02,075 --> 01:31:03,702
Oh, Miss Ireland.
1776
01:31:05,011 --> 01:31:06,535
Please don't be upset.
1777
01:31:06,612 --> 01:31:10,605
We're... We're all so... So excited,
we hardly know what we're doing.
1778
01:31:10,683 --> 01:31:12,708
Why, Susan, what...
1779
01:31:13,219 --> 01:31:17,155
- Her slip was showing.
- Oh, thank you, dear.
1780
01:31:18,458 --> 01:31:20,688
You know, Miss Ireland is really crying.
1781
01:31:20,760 --> 01:31:24,787
- Gracious, but she's easily hurt.
- She's easily hurt! Say!
1782
01:31:25,298 --> 01:31:27,357
- Look here, Miss Ireland...
- Ward!
1783
01:31:27,433 --> 01:31:29,367
Apologize, or leave this
apartment immediately.
1784
01:31:29,435 --> 01:31:31,232
- Apologize?
- Yes!
1785
01:31:31,304 --> 01:31:34,364
Well, all right, I apologize, Miss Ireland.
1786
01:31:34,440 --> 01:31:37,637
I take my hat off, too. I'll bet
you can lick any dame in the world!
1787
01:31:37,710 --> 01:31:40,406
- Susan, come here and sit down.
- Yes, Mother.
1788
01:31:40,480 --> 01:31:43,449
I want you to be honest with
your mother. Did you hide Stephen?
1789
01:31:43,516 --> 01:31:45,814
She sure did! I tell you, I heard his voice!
1790
01:31:45,885 --> 01:31:48,046
Oh, I know what you must have heard, Mr...
1791
01:31:48,121 --> 01:31:50,214
The name's Willoughby, Ward Willoughby.
1792
01:31:50,289 --> 01:31:52,519
Then, Mr. Willoughby, it was the phonograph.
1793
01:31:52,592 --> 01:31:56,119
- No, there wasn't any music.
- STEVE: Oh, yes, yes, there was.
1794
01:31:56,195 --> 01:31:59,358
It just doesn't carry as well as the voice.
1795
01:31:59,432 --> 01:32:02,731
No, no, that isn't what I heard.
It was Steve's voice, I tell you.
1796
01:32:02,802 --> 01:32:04,599
SUSAN: Ward, would you like
to search the apartment?
1797
01:32:04,670 --> 01:32:05,796
WARD: I certainly would.
1798
01:32:05,872 --> 01:32:07,464
- Go ahead.
- All right, I will.
1799
01:32:07,540 --> 01:32:10,168
Really, Susan, protecting Stephen
after all he's done to you!
1800
01:32:10,243 --> 01:32:12,905
I'm surprised that you have no more pride.
1801
01:32:12,979 --> 01:32:15,914
But, Mrs. Cooper, I really
think Susan is perfectly right
1802
01:32:15,982 --> 01:32:18,542
to protect Stephen if she loves him.
1803
01:32:18,618 --> 01:32:21,018
SUSAN: I don't love him. MRS.
COOPER: I'm glad to hear that.
1804
01:32:21,087 --> 01:32:25,023
I just don't want Stephen hunted
and hounded like a common criminal
1805
01:32:25,091 --> 01:32:26,718
when all he's done is... Is...
1806
01:32:26,793 --> 01:32:31,162
Is tried to prevent you from
divorcing him, any crazy way he could,
1807
01:32:31,230 --> 01:32:34,097
just because he loves you
too much to let you go.
1808
01:32:34,167 --> 01:32:35,395
I don't know where he could have got to.
1809
01:32:35,468 --> 01:32:37,459
Miss Ireland, I don't
think that you realize...
1810
01:32:37,537 --> 01:32:40,700
Mother, I don't like to be rude,
but I wish you and Ward would leave.
1811
01:32:40,773 --> 01:32:42,764
I don't want to discuss
this any more tonight.
1812
01:32:42,842 --> 01:32:45,208
I'm afraid Miss Ireland
is a dangerous influence.
1813
01:32:45,278 --> 01:32:47,974
She's so prejudiced in Stephen's behalf.
1814
01:32:48,047 --> 01:32:50,845
Mrs. Cooper, correct me if I'm wrong,
1815
01:32:50,917 --> 01:32:53,681
but you're not really very
fond of Steve, are you?
1816
01:32:53,753 --> 01:32:55,516
Frankly, no!
1817
01:32:55,588 --> 01:32:57,055
I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't admit it.
1818
01:32:57,123 --> 01:32:58,613
SUSAN: Oh, Mother, you
don't really mean that.
1819
01:32:58,691 --> 01:32:59,817
MRS. COOPER: I certainly do!
1820
01:32:59,892 --> 01:33:02,918
I've told you many times
how I feel about him.
1821
01:33:02,995 --> 01:33:05,463
Miss Ireland, if you'd been watching
this marriage night after night
1822
01:33:05,531 --> 01:33:08,329
as I have, you'd know what was wrong.
1823
01:33:08,401 --> 01:33:09,459
Oh, indeed?
1824
01:33:09,535 --> 01:33:12,993
Well, perhaps that's the
root of all the trouble.
1825
01:33:13,072 --> 01:33:15,870
MRS. COOPER: And just
what do you mean by that?
1826
01:33:15,942 --> 01:33:19,275
You have more influence with Susan
than you realize, Mrs. Cooper.
1827
01:33:19,345 --> 01:33:22,109
Perhaps even more than she realizes.
1828
01:33:22,181 --> 01:33:23,648
SUSAN: Oh, look, that's enough!
1829
01:33:23,716 --> 01:33:27,379
I have a mind of my own, and I'm
perfectly capable of running my own life!
1830
01:33:27,453 --> 01:33:31,048
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
Everybody stay right where you are.
1831
01:33:34,527 --> 01:33:37,087
Sorry. I'll be right back.
1832
01:33:37,830 --> 01:33:42,164
Good heavens. What a stupid place for a rug.
1833
01:33:45,104 --> 01:33:46,571
Sergeant, come on, quick! I know where he is!
1834
01:33:46,639 --> 01:33:47,970
- You do?
- He's up in his apartment.
1835
01:33:48,040 --> 01:33:50,600
Wait a minute. The guards from the
rest home are here. We'll get them.
1836
01:33:50,676 --> 01:33:52,541
- How'd you happen to find him?
- Hey, take a look.
1837
01:33:52,612 --> 01:33:54,603
Over here, boys, and step on
it. This guy's got him located.
1838
01:33:54,680 --> 01:33:56,545
What? Wait a minute.
You know who that guy is?
1839
01:33:56,616 --> 01:33:57,981
Only that he's been helping us.
1840
01:33:58,050 --> 01:33:59,915
Well, he could help you out a
lot more, because that's him.
1841
01:33:59,986 --> 01:34:01,385
- What?
- Sure. He climbed over the fence
1842
01:34:01,454 --> 01:34:03,649
this afternoon. Eddie and
me hauled him back ourselves.
1843
01:34:03,723 --> 01:34:05,088
- You sure of that?
- I'm sure.
1844
01:34:05,157 --> 01:34:08,456
I should have guessed it.
All right, boys, split up.
1845
01:34:09,662 --> 01:34:12,563
Hurry up, fellows, before he gets away.
1846
01:34:12,632 --> 01:34:14,725
- Hey! Hey, what's the idea?
- Pretty smart, huh, fella?
1847
01:34:14,800 --> 01:34:18,236
Wait a minute! My name's
Willoughby, Ward Willoughby!
1848
01:34:19,772 --> 01:34:23,173
STEVE: Well, there's only one thing
that's important to me, Mrs. Cooper.
1849
01:34:23,242 --> 01:34:24,539
MRS. COOPER: And may I know what that is?
1850
01:34:24,610 --> 01:34:28,171
Yes, Susan and Stephen belong to each other.
1851
01:34:28,247 --> 01:34:30,579
Up to two months ago, they
were happy. I'm certain of that.
1852
01:34:30,650 --> 01:34:32,675
I see. You're certain.
1853
01:34:32,752 --> 01:34:34,447
Well, if you'll pardon me for saying so,
1854
01:34:34,520 --> 01:34:37,785
you seem so exasperatingly
certain of everything.
1855
01:34:37,857 --> 01:34:41,122
The more I hear of your opinions,
the more you sound like Stephen.
1856
01:34:41,193 --> 01:34:44,026
I can't understand how you can
come down here for the first time
1857
01:34:44,096 --> 01:34:47,088
and be so full of convictions
about things you've never seen.
1858
01:34:47,166 --> 01:34:51,865
Oh, it isn't a matter of
opinions, Mrs. Cooper, it's...
1859
01:34:51,938 --> 01:34:53,963
It's a woman's intuition.
1860
01:34:54,040 --> 01:34:55,803
- You either feel it, or you don't.
- Oh, bosh!
1861
01:34:55,875 --> 01:34:59,174
I feel it. I feel it right here.
1862
01:34:59,579 --> 01:35:00,568
Do you?
1863
01:35:02,515 --> 01:35:03,880
Well, I... I did.
1864
01:35:05,418 --> 01:35:07,545
You feel this and you feel that.
1865
01:35:07,620 --> 01:35:09,110
Anyone to hear you talk would think you were
1866
01:35:09,188 --> 01:35:11,179
the only woman in the world with feelings.
1867
01:35:11,257 --> 01:35:13,987
Well, if you'll excuse me.
1868
01:35:14,060 --> 01:35:18,394
I... I think I'll retire now.
I don't quite feel up to form.
1869
01:35:18,531 --> 01:35:20,999
- Good night.
- Good night.
1870
01:35:21,067 --> 01:35:24,559
No, no. Not in there. That's my room.
1871
01:35:24,637 --> 01:35:27,333
Your room is down there,
Miss Ireland. The guest room.
1872
01:35:27,406 --> 01:35:30,398
Oh, dear. I was hoping to sleep in there.
1873
01:35:30,476 --> 01:35:33,104
For some reason I feel drawn to that room.
1874
01:35:33,179 --> 01:35:35,579
I do so love a southern exposure.
1875
01:35:35,648 --> 01:35:39,516
Well, if you go in my room, you'll
get another kind of exposure.
1876
01:35:40,086 --> 01:35:43,078
- Well, I wouldn't want that.
- I thought not.
1877
01:35:44,090 --> 01:35:46,957
I hope you'll be comfortable
in here, Miss Ireland.
1878
01:35:48,160 --> 01:35:51,425
Susan, dear, if you get
lonely during the night,
1879
01:35:51,497 --> 01:35:54,091
I do hope you'll feel free to come to me.
1880
01:35:54,533 --> 01:35:56,626
I'll leave the door unlocked.
1881
01:35:56,702 --> 01:36:00,069
You'll find I can be just
as comforting as Stephen.
1882
01:36:01,941 --> 01:36:03,704
Come here, Susan.
1883
01:36:04,276 --> 01:36:06,801
You know, I don't like her
any more than I do Stephen.
1884
01:36:06,879 --> 01:36:09,074
No, I'm not going to leave you
under that woman's influence.
1885
01:36:09,148 --> 01:36:11,844
- I'm spending the night here.
- Oh, but, Mother, you...
1886
01:36:11,917 --> 01:36:13,384
No, you'll have to go back to your apartment.
1887
01:36:13,452 --> 01:36:15,886
- There won't be room for you.
- Nonsense. You go to bed, dear.
1888
01:36:15,955 --> 01:36:19,015
- I'll bunk in with your guest.
- Oh, no, Mother!
1889
01:36:19,125 --> 01:36:21,093
No, you two would just fight all night.
1890
01:36:21,160 --> 01:36:23,185
I've made up my mind to sleep in this house.
1891
01:36:23,262 --> 01:36:25,753
I'm going in there, so
please don't try to stop me.
1892
01:36:25,831 --> 01:36:28,322
Really, Mother! I ought to let you.
1893
01:36:28,401 --> 01:36:30,164
Of course you ought to let me.
1894
01:36:30,236 --> 01:36:33,000
Imagine the nerve of that
woman defending Stephen to us.
1895
01:36:33,072 --> 01:36:35,506
I'd like to hear her explain
what Steve was doing that night
1896
01:36:35,574 --> 01:36:36,973
he was out with Mrs. Grayson.
1897
01:36:37,043 --> 01:36:39,102
I don't think you'll
ever convince Miss Ireland
1898
01:36:39,178 --> 01:36:41,578
- there was anything wrong in that.
- I'll convince her.
1899
01:36:41,647 --> 01:36:44,980
After all, I saw them with my own two eyes.
1900
01:36:45,051 --> 01:36:46,678
- You what?
- As I was leaving the building,
1901
01:36:46,752 --> 01:36:49,915
I saw them walking along the
street as bold as you please.
1902
01:36:49,989 --> 01:36:51,786
You saw them walking along the street?
1903
01:36:51,857 --> 01:36:53,825
- Along the street?
- Yes.
1904
01:36:53,926 --> 01:36:56,724
Well, well, then he... He
wasn't in her apartment!
1905
01:36:56,796 --> 01:36:59,924
You saw them walking along the
street, and you never told me?
1906
01:36:59,999 --> 01:37:02,365
Why should I? You knew he was with her.
1907
01:37:02,435 --> 01:37:07,236
Why, why, yes, of course
I did. Of course I did!
1908
01:37:07,306 --> 01:37:09,740
Look, Mother, you sleep in my room tonight.
1909
01:37:09,809 --> 01:37:11,868
Believe me, it'll be much better.
1910
01:37:11,944 --> 01:37:13,138
And... And, Mother...
1911
01:37:13,212 --> 01:37:15,339
Mother, look, I'm going to take Miss Ireland
1912
01:37:15,414 --> 01:37:17,848
back to Saskatchewan in the morning.
1913
01:37:17,917 --> 01:37:21,148
Back to... Honestly, Susan,
you're so confused tonight.
1914
01:37:21,220 --> 01:37:25,213
Mother, go to bed, and don't
worry. I'm not confused any longer.
1915
01:37:25,291 --> 01:37:29,352
Well, all right, but I hope
you get a good night's sleep.
1916
01:37:29,428 --> 01:37:30,588
(CHUCKLES)
1917
01:37:30,830 --> 01:37:31,854
(KNOCKING)
1918
01:37:31,931 --> 01:37:33,228
STEVE: Yes?
1919
01:37:35,334 --> 01:37:37,632
Oh, come right in, Susan.
1920
01:37:38,704 --> 01:37:41,229
All right, hold your horses. Just a minute.
1921
01:37:41,307 --> 01:37:42,774
(RINGING)
1922
01:37:45,411 --> 01:37:48,574
SUSAN: Hello. Oh, hello, Ward.
1923
01:37:48,647 --> 01:37:49,773
Hello, Susan.
1924
01:37:49,849 --> 01:37:52,682
Listen, the nuthouse people
picked me up. They think I'm Steve.
1925
01:37:52,752 --> 01:37:55,949
Would you send somebody
down to... Hey! Who is this?
1926
01:37:56,222 --> 01:37:57,951
What are you doing there?
1927
01:37:58,023 --> 01:37:59,354
(STEVE BABBLING)
1928
01:38:37,196 --> 01:38:38,185
English
- SDH
161221
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