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1
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:07,875
Hi, I'm John Episode,
2
00:00:08,125 --> 00:00:10,417
and here's an Oliver
of last clips Next Week Tonight
3
00:00:10,417 --> 00:00:11,834
with Jim Oliphant.
4
00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:13,041
Sorry, can we do that again?
5
00:00:13,417 --> 00:00:15,166
We can't! We seriously can't?
6
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:18,000
Oka-- Here's a clip. Wow!
7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,917
Now we've talked before about
Turkish president Recep Erdogan,
8
00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:22,417
the mustachioed strongman,
9
00:00:22,417 --> 00:00:24,959
who once got hoof-punched
in the dick by a horse.
10
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,208
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
-But...
11
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:29,708
but he's been attempting to
consolidate his power for years
12
00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:32,458
and last Sunday,
he took his boldest step yet.
13
00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:35,667
President Erdogan declared
victory yesterday
14
00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:39,375
in a referendum that gives him
sweeping new powers.
15
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:43,041
His critics say this is a step
towards dictatorship.
16
00:00:43,041 --> 00:00:44,250
Oh, that's great!
17
00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:45,417
I guess I can now add
18
00:00:45,417 --> 00:00:47,500
Turkey to my list of things
to worry about.
19
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,917
Along with America,
the French election
20
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:53,125
and whether John Cena is having
a happy 40th birthday today.
21
00:00:53,125 --> 00:00:56,917
And how the fuck John Cena and I
are the exact same age.
22
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,667
-Oh, my God!
-(AUDIENCE CHEERS)
23
00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:02,000
That is heartbreaking.
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00:01:02,417 --> 00:01:04,458
NARRATOR: Last Week Tonight
with John Oliver.
25
00:01:04,792 --> 00:01:07,542
Sundays at 11. Unless I have
something better to do.
26
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,333
So, Sundays at 11.
27
00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:27,875
(theme music playing)
28
00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,834
♪ Animals ♪
29
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:34,708
♪ Animals ♪
30
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:42,375
Previously on Animals:
31
00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:43,625
Phil:
Hey, Johnny?
32
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,917
I can't wait to grows up
and be just like you.
33
00:01:45,917 --> 00:01:47,333
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, listen, kid.
34
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:48,458
We're different, okay?
35
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:50,500
Your destiny is something
much bigger.
36
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,625
That's what Pop wanted,
that's what Mom wanted.
37
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:55,041
We in big
fuckin' trouble, Johnny!
38
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:58,458
Johnny:
Alabaster, what the fuck
are you doing in Little Italy?
39
00:01:58,458 --> 00:02:00,166
You stay in your
fuckin' hood, all right?
40
00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:02,417
I was hoping you'd say that.
41
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,792
Oh!
Johnny, no, no!
42
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,750
Remember my face.
43
00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:11,083
Big Pussy:
We need to retaliate. Tonight!
(gasps)
44
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:13,208
Oh my God!
Someone killed Chuckles.
45
00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:14,542
I killed Chuckles.
46
00:02:14,542 --> 00:02:16,959
If Alabaster's crew
is expanding their territories,
47
00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:18,750
then we need
to do it too, all right?
48
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:22,208
Yeah, that makes sense, Philly.
It's time for Johnny's crew
to grow up.
49
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,750
Oh thank you
for your time, Phil.
50
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:26,375
You've grown up
into such a fine,
young feline.
51
00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:28,959
Two Bridges is
Alabaster's territory,
all right?
52
00:02:28,959 --> 00:02:31,041
Are they gonna fall
for the Two Bridges trap?
53
00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:34,000
I believe so,
I think... (chuckles)
hook, line and sinker.
54
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,542
I want to do the hit
on Phil, 'cause, uh,
55
00:02:35,542 --> 00:02:37,708
he killed my brother
Chuckles and I wanna
do the hit on him.
56
00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:40,500
You'll get your blood
in due time.
57
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,208
In doo-doo time.
58
00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:44,000
♪ ♪
59
00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:02,083
♪ Brother ♪
60
00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:03,333
(beeps)
61
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,583
♪ Selfish Molly has a way ♪
62
00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:07,083
(beeping)
63
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:09,208
♪ Of makin' ♪
64
00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:12,417
♪ Any plans for her day ♪
65
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:15,375
♪ 'Cause she only knows ♪
66
00:03:15,375 --> 00:03:18,583
♪ How to love all alone ♪
67
00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:20,166
♪ It hurts ♪
68
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,417
♪ In my bones ♪
69
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:23,417
♪ And I swear ♪
70
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:26,917
♪ I swear, I swear ♪
71
00:03:26,917 --> 00:03:28,792
♪ You better stick with me ♪
72
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:34,166
(elevator dings)
(electricity crackles)
73
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:36,291
♪ ♪
74
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:37,875
(loud rock music playing)
75
00:03:41,125 --> 00:03:43,041
Yeah!
76
00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:44,417
Give me some of that shit.
77
00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:45,500
(sniffs)
78
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,917
Oh, yeah!
79
00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:51,041
I'm fuckin' high!
80
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:52,333
It's powdered sugar!
81
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,625
Hey, Philly?
Hey, what's up, Mikey?
82
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,166
Sorry, I hate to be a bother.
83
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:58,625
You mind just turning
the radio down
just a little bit.
84
00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:00,250
Oh, Mikey, you got it.
(sniffs)
85
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:02,834
Mikey, for you!
Oh, thank you so much!
86
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:04,583
All right, go back to bed.
I really appreciate it.
87
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:07,000
All righty, good night,
have fun, okay?
Yeah, you go back to bed.
88
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,083
Watch this.
89
00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,583
Watch this.
(snickering)
90
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,458
(music volume increases)
91
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:14,000
Hey, Philly.
92
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,083
How's it going, man?
Yeah, Mikey.
What can I do for you, sir?
93
00:04:16,083 --> 00:04:18,375
It actually sounded
like the radio got louder.
94
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:20,375
Uh, no. I don't think
it did, Mikey.
95
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:21,959
You know what,
you're gettin' old.
96
00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:23,375
I think it's your ear,
probably.
97
00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:25,250
I'm sorry, if you could
just-- one more time.
98
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:28,333
One more time?
Turn it down a little bit
that would be really great.
99
00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:30,041
All right.
Thank you. Thank you, guys.
100
00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:31,333
Go back to bed!
All right.
101
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,625
Grandpa's got to go
to sleep, yeah.
102
00:04:33,625 --> 00:04:35,125
I do appreciate it.
Yeah, yeah.
103
00:04:35,125 --> 00:04:36,834
(door closes)
One more time?
104
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,166
What do you think,
one more time?
105
00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:39,792
All right, all right.
(snickers)
106
00:04:39,792 --> 00:04:42,375
(volume increases)
107
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:45,417
Hey, Philly,
quit fuckin' with me!
Come on!
108
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:47,125
Jesus Christ,
he's fuckin' with me.
109
00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:49,250
He's singling me out
to fuck with me.
110
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:52,500
Ah, that resentful
motherfook-ay
a-mozzerel!
111
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,041
(exhales)
Just take a breath.
112
00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:57,041
It's like the counselor said,
"Anger leads nowhere."
113
00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:00,458
Ah.
114
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:01,542
Philly.
115
00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:03,000
Like what you've done
with the place.
116
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,708
Remember this used
to be my room, Mikey?
117
00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:08,375
Heh.
I can--
I remember I was in here
118
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,041
the night Johnny died.
119
00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:12,750
And I was yelling out to him.
You remember the last thing
I said to him?
120
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:16,125
My brother, Johnny, remember
the last thing I said to him?
121
00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:17,917
I said, "I hate you, Johnny.
122
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,250
I hate you."
Philly, you were a kid.
123
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,250
Johnny knew you didn't mean it.
124
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:24,333
Yeah. No, I know.
125
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:27,208
(sniffs)
Hey, Mikey, you, uh,
126
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:28,792
are you going somewhere?
127
00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:32,542
Oh, ha, that thing, nah.
128
00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:37,125
One of those, you know,
nut jobs down the street
were handing 'em out.
129
00:05:37,125 --> 00:05:39,542
Get some sleep.
130
00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:41,083
Oh, and Mikey?
131
00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:45,000
Don't ever raise your voice
to me again in front
of the crew. Ever.
132
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,458
(rock music blaring)
133
00:05:47,458 --> 00:05:49,083
(door slams)
134
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:50,917
Hey, Philly,
come have a drink, huh?
135
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,417
I think I'm gonna hit the hay.
Come on!
136
00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:54,417
You guys have fun though.
Stay out of trouble.
137
00:05:54,417 --> 00:05:56,959
(clears throat)
Excuse me, God bless you.
Have a good night.
138
00:05:56,959 --> 00:05:58,375
Good night, boss.
139
00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:01,333
Hon?
Hon, are you home?
140
00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,917
Phil, is that you?
141
00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:04,208
There's my perfect wife.
142
00:06:04,208 --> 00:06:05,500
Can I have a kiss?
143
00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:08,041
How are you, baby?
144
00:06:08,041 --> 00:06:09,250
What are you doing,
a Sudoku?
145
00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:11,333
Oh, gosh, I've missed you.
146
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:13,083
Oh, Theresa, you're so innocent.
147
00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:14,667
Let me just say something
right off the bat.
148
00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,208
I'm sorry I haven't made
time for you.
149
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:17,542
Come on!
I really am.
150
00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:20,250
No, I totally get it.
You gotta run the gang.
151
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,250
Mm-hmm.
You deal with
several antagonists.
152
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:23,708
They keep
comin' out of nowhere!
153
00:06:23,708 --> 00:06:25,792
And-- and a fraying
relationship with Mike.
154
00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:29,583
And not to mention carry on
your dead brother's legacy.
155
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:33,166
Johnny, rest in peace.
Those are big
shoes to fill, Phil.
156
00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:34,792
(chuckles)
I love name jokes.
157
00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:36,417
Theresa, you are
the love of my life.
158
00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:39,625
And that's the other thing!
There is no conflict between us.
159
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,625
That's true. It's like
a roller coaster that keeps
going up and never has a dip.
160
00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:44,625
We're financially stable.
Mutual bank account.
161
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:46,125
We're faithful to each other.
162
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:49,125
Hey, by the way,
the guys, they really
appreciated the strippers.
163
00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:50,917
That was a good idea.
The strippers worked out!
164
00:06:50,917 --> 00:06:52,792
They worked out great.
Boosted morale.
165
00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:55,625
They need that, you know,
it's Christmas time.
You're the best husband ever.
166
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:57,375
Hey, baby?
Mm-hmm?
167
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,875
Wanna have sex?
168
00:06:58,875 --> 00:07:01,417
Oh. I'm a little...
169
00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:02,959
bloated.
Bloated, yeah, okay.
170
00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:05,041
A massage might be nice.
Hey, here you go!
171
00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:06,375
(purring)
Oh, oh.
172
00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:09,166
I love you so much.
173
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:11,125
Oh, honey,
what's that poking me?
174
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,166
Why don't you go ahead
and turn around
and take a look-see?
175
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,959
Hamilton tickets!
176
00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:18,750
Alabaster:
What you got up
on the walls there?
177
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:21,750
Those are free calendars
that come with Chinese food.
178
00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,750
Free calendars,
look at that.
179
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,667
Don't the Chinese have
a way with calendars?
180
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:28,500
Calendars and fireworks.
Calendars and fire--
I always said.
181
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,667
Calendars and fireworks.
Calendars and fireworks.
182
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,000
The Chinese know how to do it.
183
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,667
And they're not shy about it!
184
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:35,500
Um, (clears throat), hey, boss.
185
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,625
Uh, something came up,
I need to talk to you
immediately.
186
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,875
(gasps) Is it Phil's crew?
187
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,792
Okay, let's get ready.
I knew this was coming.
188
00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:42,125
Come on!
No, no, no, no.
189
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,959
The printer is out of ink.
190
00:07:43,959 --> 00:07:45,458
The big one downstairs?
The big one, yeah.
191
00:07:45,458 --> 00:07:47,375
The big one that
has a million buttons.
Again?
192
00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,125
Now, this is what
stresses me out, you know.
193
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,375
(sighs)
We are an evil crime syndicate,
194
00:07:51,375 --> 00:07:54,291
and the thing that
keeps me up at night
is that people here
195
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:55,917
keep printing
full color pages. Why?
196
00:07:55,917 --> 00:07:57,959
I know.
They'll stretch out
these memes.
197
00:07:57,959 --> 00:07:59,542
And it's just like a frog.
Yeah.
198
00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:01,000
It's got nothing
to do with work.
Yeah.
199
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,959
There's nothing funny
about it, really, in essence.
200
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:05,125
Yeah, I hear that, I hear.
201
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:06,750
Yeah, I'm actually working
on my one-man show,
202
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,834
and so, I actually
have to canvas some fliers.
203
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,959
Gigglepuss: Take the Bait.
My life.
204
00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:12,375
Yes, the one-man show.
205
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:14,208
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've told us many times.
206
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:16,041
Right.
Why don't you just
give us a taste?
207
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,375
Get it out of your system.
208
00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:20,041
Stage is black, totally black.
209
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,250
Boom. Spotlight.
210
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,375
Me in a diaper
and a fishing pole.
Right.
211
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:25,458
I start singing
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
212
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,125
♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪
213
00:08:27,125 --> 00:08:29,708
And then I point to the person
in the first row to start
the round-robin.
214
00:08:29,708 --> 00:08:31,625
♪ Row, row, row-- ♪
And it's great,
215
00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:33,125
it's a great opening,
but no one shows up,
216
00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,834
so it's just me singing
the friggin' song.
217
00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:37,125
And one of these days,
we're gonna go see it, so--
218
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,625
If we had 16 shows--
Thank you very--
Okay, bye.
219
00:08:39,625 --> 00:08:42,000
I'll just leave you
a flier in here.
Bye!
220
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:46,250
♪ With this I'm scraping by ♪
221
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,417
Excuse me.
222
00:08:48,417 --> 00:08:50,875
You got any agave nectar?
223
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:52,917
Go fuck yourself.
Ah, Big Puss.
224
00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:55,875
I'm just tired of the crew life
to be honest with ya.
225
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,208
It's just not the same
since Phil took over.
226
00:08:58,208 --> 00:09:01,458
Hey, Mikey, are you still, uh,
thinkin' about gettin' out?
227
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,125
I don't know, I'm all mixed up.
228
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:06,417
And I checked out
a couple shelters nearby,
but who am I kiddin'?
229
00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:07,792
No human would want me.
230
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,417
I'm old and my bum ear.
231
00:09:09,417 --> 00:09:11,959
Hey, you're beautiful.
No.
232
00:09:11,959 --> 00:09:13,125
You are.
233
00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:14,583
Thanks, Big P.
234
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:16,125
I'm hogging conversation.
235
00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:18,375
How are things
with you and Jeremy?
236
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:20,083
Good... I think.
237
00:09:20,083 --> 00:09:24,166
I don't know, I-I-I just wish
I knew what we were, you know?
238
00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:25,792
Well, how many
dates has it been?
239
00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:28,834
Maybe ten?
Ten dates and you guys
aren't exclusive?
240
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,667
Is that bad?
Well, it sounds to me like
241
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,625
you need to have
a pretty serious conversation.
242
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:34,917
ASAP.
I know, I know, I just--
243
00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:37,291
I don't want to scare
the guy away.
244
00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,959
I mean, I really like
what we have.
245
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,959
It's-- it's nice to have
somebody around.
246
00:09:41,959 --> 00:09:44,917
Yeah.
And it's him, I love him.
247
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,166
Ah, shit.
248
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:48,917
I gotta go, uh, pick up
something for dinner tonight.
249
00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:51,500
Phil's orders.
All right, hey, Big Puss?
250
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,625
Thanks for listening.
You're a good friend.
251
00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:55,333
No, you're a good friend.
Aah.
252
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,083
And I'll see you
later tonight, okay?
253
00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:59,792
Definitely, right?
Definitely, for sure.
Come on, man.
254
00:09:59,792 --> 00:10:02,500
I'll see ya later!
I got it! I got it!
255
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,208
♪ Cronuts ♪
256
00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:06,583
♪ Where are you? ♪
257
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:10,583
♪ Where are you? ♪
258
00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:12,917
Fuckin' better
than Tony Bennett.
259
00:10:12,917 --> 00:10:15,542
Where the fuck is
the frickin' cronut place?
260
00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:17,083
It was supposed
to be right here.
261
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:20,834
Hey! Asshole!
Oh! What the fuck was that?
262
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,542
(crew cackling)
(yowling)
263
00:10:22,542 --> 00:10:24,000
Real cute scooter!
264
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,375
Big Puss:
Hey!
Fatass. Where's Phil?
265
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,542
Fuck you,
you bald motherfucker!
266
00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:30,083
Outta my fucking way!
267
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,125
Wait a minute, I know you.
268
00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:35,250
Yeah, that's right.
I'm not Father Anthony anymore.
269
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,542
I'm Gigglepuss.
(cackles)
270
00:10:37,542 --> 00:10:40,917
No, I saw your ad
for your one-man show.
271
00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:42,792
Take the Bait?
Yeah, it's a good title.
272
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,417
Oh, man, thank you.
Thanks a lot, thank you.
273
00:10:44,417 --> 00:10:45,917
I heard it's getting
great reviews.
274
00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:47,708
It's doing all right.
I don't want to boast.
275
00:10:47,708 --> 00:10:51,000
There is life outside of work,
you know what I mean?
Yep.
276
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,708
We gotta stay active, you know?
You gotta!
277
00:10:52,708 --> 00:10:55,291
I've been painting a lot,
just some, you know,
watercolors.
278
00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:58,834
Oh, that's great.
I actually had a gallery
showing in SoHo last week.
279
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:01,500
Oh, is that right?
You know that guy
Terry Richardson?
280
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,500
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ah, that's amazing.
He was there.
281
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,500
But guess who didn't show up.
Your boss.
282
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,542
Fuckin' Phil. Yeah.
Right? Yeah. Same with me.
283
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,959
You know how bosses are.
They always got
somethin' better to do.
284
00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:12,166
Does this sound familiar?
"Oh, I'd love to,
I got a thing."
285
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:14,083
"A thing."
What, are you seeing
the movie The Thing?
286
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,917
(chuckling)
What? Are you gonna
play with your thing?
287
00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:18,875
Stop jerking my thing around
and come to my show, right?
I love to chuckle.
288
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:21,250
Yeah. Chuckles. Chuckles.
Nothing better
than a good chuckle.
289
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:24,083
That's right, you killed
my brother, Chuckles!
Chuckle, chuckle.
290
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:25,667
Ah-ha!
This is for my brother!
291
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:27,333
Ah! Ah, no!
292
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:31,166
They're slicin' me up like
a piece of fuckin' mortadella,
you motherfuckers.
293
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:33,083
Oh, boy, this really stinks!
294
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,917
Oh, no! That's it
for Big Pussy, everybody.
295
00:11:35,917 --> 00:11:37,583
That's a fuckin' wrap!
296
00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:40,583
Wrap me up like a piece
of fuckin' fish!
297
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:43,625
Fuck you, you cocksuckers.
See ya later.
298
00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:46,750
(cats yowling)
299
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,834
Announcer:
Intermission.
300
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:54,542
But, uh, why not tack on
an infomercial, baby?
301
00:11:54,542 --> 00:11:59,208
Relive all your favorite
Cats: Parts 1 and 2 moments
with merchandise.
302
00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:02,041
Who are you to talk to me
like that, you frickin' gabagoo?
Oh!
303
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,333
A Phil plush doll that comes
304
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:05,875
with its own line
of powdered sugar.
305
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:08,166
Ooh! That's good.
(cheers)
306
00:12:08,166 --> 00:12:09,834
A Big Pussy doll
that can, maybe,
307
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:12,083
do, like, wheelies
and go off jumps and shit.
308
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,417
Get out of my way.
I'm trying to do a wheelie here.
309
00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:17,625
Where the fuck
is the cronut place?
310
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:20,250
Announcer:
Posters, pins, bedsheets,
311
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,875
and the Cats collection on DVD.
312
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:25,375
"DVD's are dead," you say,
you little fucker?
313
00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:27,000
Well, think of it
like vinyl records.
314
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,625
They were dead,
and now they're cool.
315
00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:32,333
Plus DVD extras including
a "Making Of"
with the creators.
316
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:35,458
Can we please see
our "pawents" now?
317
00:12:35,458 --> 00:12:37,333
My fingers "huwt."
318
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:38,625
Announcer: So, buy now.
319
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,917
Buy, buy, don't think.
320
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,375
Thinking is for dorks.
321
00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:43,875
You're not a dork, are you?
322
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:45,458
Call this fake number.
323
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:47,792
Buying is good! Mommy, I want!
324
00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:50,000
Mommy, I want!
325
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:54,250
(death metal music playing)
326
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:03,625
(rapid beeping)
327
00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:05,166
(grunts interrogatively)
328
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,708
Hmm...
329
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:08,166
Huh.
330
00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:09,834
Whew!
331
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:11,375
(camera whirring)
332
00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,375
♪ ♪
333
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:28,291
(gasps, whimpers)
334
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:32,250
♪ ♪
335
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:36,875
(stammers)
(electricity crackles)
336
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,542
(shuddering)
337
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,458
(screams)
338
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,917
(screaming)
339
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:50,333
(static crackles)
340
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,708
♪ ♪
341
00:13:57,125 --> 00:14:00,125
(violin music playing)
342
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:02,792
(lively chattering)
343
00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:05,959
Hey! Hey, hey, glasses up,
glasses up, all right?
344
00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:08,250
I want to make a toast.
345
00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:11,417
To Johnny, my brother,
and a friend to us all.
346
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:14,708
He would have been so proud
to see the crew
that we've become, you know.
347
00:14:14,708 --> 00:14:17,000
You know, back in Johnny's day
it was just Little Italy.
348
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,166
But now we got Tribeca.
We got Soho.
349
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:21,625
We got Nolita.
(clears throat) Excuse me,
excuse me, Phil?
350
00:14:21,625 --> 00:14:24,667
I'd like to add something
as well if that's all right.
351
00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:27,375
Mikey, who is this guy?
No idea.
352
00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:28,583
I'm sorry,
what's your name again?
353
00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:30,083
T-Terrence. Yeah.
Terrence.
354
00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:32,083
Terrence.
I think he's an intern?
How-- how long?
355
00:14:32,083 --> 00:14:33,625
We have interns?
(Terrence clears throat)
356
00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:35,875
As many of you know,
357
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,917
I--I had a rough year.
358
00:14:37,917 --> 00:14:40,208
My feline leukemia morphed
359
00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:42,667
into a full-blown
lymphoma in February,
360
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:46,583
and after that...
(sighs) the tumors.
361
00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:47,708
Jesus Christ.
362
00:14:47,708 --> 00:14:50,125
If it wasn't for your
crowdfunding campaigns
363
00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:52,333
and generous
personal donations,
364
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,291
I wouldn't be here today.
365
00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:56,083
No, no, I mean it.
366
00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:57,667
It's been a long road.
367
00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:59,750
But thanks to you all,
368
00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,542
there's hope.
369
00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:04,125
Okay, uh--
I have merchandise for sale.
370
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:06,542
Bracelets,
"Make Terrence
Healthy Again" hats,
371
00:15:06,542 --> 00:15:09,083
Bandcamp page where
you can download my debut album,
372
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:10,417
inspirational DVD.
373
00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:13,208
All proceeds go to Terrence.
Terrence is me.
374
00:15:13,208 --> 00:15:15,667
Thank you.
Everybody let's give
it up for Terrence.
375
00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:18,166
Give it up
for Terrence, everybody.
Give it up for Terrence.
376
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:19,750
Thank you, thank you, thanks.
377
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,625
Okay--
So, Phil, as you were saying.
378
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:23,250
As I was saying,
it's a little hard to...
379
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,750
Honestly,
a tough act to follow.
380
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:27,083
You know what,
just go right back
to the equally important thing
381
00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:29,166
that you were
starting with.
Go ahead.
382
00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:32,000
This dinner, this celebration,
383
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,542
the changing of times.
384
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,417
Johnny's Club is no more.
Huh?
385
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,000
What the fuck does he mean?
What does he mean?
What's he talking about?
386
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,333
From now on,
we're "Phil's Club!"
387
00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:44,083
Take it off, Junior,
take the thing off.
Show 'em the sign!
388
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:47,208
Yeah! You like that?
Cost a lot of money.
389
00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:48,667
We're changing, all right?
390
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:52,166
Because tomorrow,
we're officially moving
to the coast.
391
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,875
We're taking Two Bridges!
392
00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:57,500
Phil's Crew's gonna be
the strongest crew
New York City's ever seen.
393
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,375
(cheering)
394
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,333
(slurps)
Phil, what are you
talking about?
395
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:02,708
We said "no" on Two Bridges.
396
00:16:02,708 --> 00:16:05,083
You said "no," Mikey.
I said nothing, okay?
397
00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:08,834
You know what, I got
Big Pussy down there right now
on a fuckin' recon mission.
398
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:11,834
Pickin' up some cronuts.
We're gettin' dessert, boys.
All right, dessert!
399
00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:15,125
Wait. You sent Big Pussy?
By himself?
400
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:16,834
Into fucking enemy territory?
401
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:18,333
Whoa, whoa, Big Pussy--
Are you kidding me?
402
00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,583
Big Pussy's fucking
tough, all right!
He can fend for himself.
403
00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:23,875
And I'm not afraid of any
fucking crew, especially
not Alabaster's crew.
404
00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:25,583
Have you noticed
he hasn't come back yet?
405
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:27,542
I'm fucking worried over here.
Oh my God.
406
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:29,500
He's probably just out with
one of his little boyfriends,
407
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,208
the fuckin' fanook.
You know what I mean?
408
00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:33,208
Fuck you!
Hey!
409
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:34,583
The fuck did you just say to me?
410
00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:37,041
I said, a fangoolah!
411
00:16:37,041 --> 00:16:39,250
You're a fangoolah!
Hey!
412
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:41,208
Fangool!
You motherfuck!
413
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,792
Hey, you motherfuck!
Yeah, your mother!
You butter boy, betcha bum!
414
00:16:43,792 --> 00:16:46,708
Fangool!
No, you're the fangool!
415
00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:48,625
Heeeeeey!
Heeeeeey!
416
00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:49,792
Sorry to bother you, boss.
417
00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:51,083
What do you want, huh?
418
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:52,083
You got a package.
419
00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:53,834
Ooh, what is this?
Oh, you know what?
420
00:16:53,834 --> 00:16:56,583
I ordered one of those
Tempur-Pedic neck pillows.
421
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,000
I bet it's that.
422
00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:01,250
(Alabaster's voice reading)
423
00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,917
(tense music)
424
00:17:08,917 --> 00:17:10,250
Aw.
425
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,375
(gags)
426
00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:14,125
What is it, Philly?
No, no, no, no, no.
427
00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:16,125
Fuckin' oh!
What's in the box?
428
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:19,583
Get it the fuck out of here,
I can't fuckin' look at that.
Let me see, let me see, hold on.
429
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,834
It's his head!
430
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,500
It's Big Pussy's
head in a box!
No!
431
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,125
They fuckin' Paltrow-ed him.
They fuckin' got Big--
432
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:29,458
All right, all right, all right!
433
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:32,667
Everybody suit up,
we're going to war,
all right?
434
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,625
Junior, put out the word.
Pier One in 30 minutes,
let's go.
435
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:38,208
Let's go!
This ain't a fuckin' drill,
here we go!
436
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:39,667
Philly, hold on, come on.
437
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,166
Let's think this through, okay?
438
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,792
(snorting)
439
00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:48,125
We got to leave Two Bridges,
all right? We don't need it.
440
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:51,542
I'm sorry, Mikey, did you not
just see Big Pussy's head
in a fucking box?
441
00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:53,625
Hey, I've known Big Pussy
since I was born.
442
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:56,792
Never in a million years,
did I think I'd see
Big Pussy get Paltrow-ed.
443
00:17:56,792 --> 00:17:59,291
It's fucking crazy.
Mm-mm-mm.
444
00:17:59,291 --> 00:18:01,125
It's honestly fucked up.
Honestly, pretty--
445
00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:02,875
So fucked up.
Dude, it's like,
so fucking scary.
446
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,333
I didn't even see
what was in the box.
I watched you open it.
447
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:07,834
Yeah! I felt like barfing.
The blood left your face.
448
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:10,375
I honestly was about to barf.
I thought you
were going to, yeah.
449
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:12,291
But you were saying, I'm sorry.
Sorry, so I was saying.
450
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,500
It's not fuckin' lost on me
what happened to Big Puss, okay?
Mm-hmm.
451
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,166
Alabaster? His crew?
452
00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:19,083
They're not like other cats.
They're sick!
453
00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:21,708
I was there at the first
Pier One battle.
454
00:18:21,708 --> 00:18:22,667
Pier One-One.
455
00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,625
Pier Eleven in some dialects.
Mm-hmm.
456
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,500
You choose to go
to war with Alabaster?
457
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:29,500
All these kids
that worship you,
you're sendin' 'em in to die!
458
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:32,500
Wait, wait, wait. I know why
you don't wanna fight, Mikey.
Why's that?
459
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,166
You don't want to get
anymore messed up.
460
00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:37,625
You want to stay pretty
so you can get adopted
by some fucking human.
461
00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:40,542
I know why you
had that brochure.
What the heck you talkin' about?
462
00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:42,834
You want to leave
the fuckin' crew life,
then get out, all right?
463
00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:45,125
Go live with a human
and drink some milk
out of a shoe
464
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,834
or whatever the fuck
they do in those houses.
465
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,166
I mean, really, Mikey,
you think you can get adopted?
466
00:18:49,166 --> 00:18:52,166
Look at you with that ear,
you're a fucking monster.
467
00:18:52,166 --> 00:18:53,959
You're the monster, Philly.
468
00:18:53,959 --> 00:18:55,667
You think Johnny
would've been proud?
469
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,375
At what his crew's turned into?
470
00:18:57,375 --> 00:18:58,917
The flashiness? The drugs?
471
00:18:58,917 --> 00:19:00,250
The paw-stitutes?
(meows)
472
00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:01,834
Prostitutes but cats.
Mm-hmm.
473
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:04,875
We could've restored order,
and respect
474
00:19:04,875 --> 00:19:07,208
to being a New York alley cat.
475
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:08,875
But instead
we scratched and bit,
476
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:11,250
and all the kids got
iPhones and Snapchats.
477
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,375
And I don't get it!
I don't get the template.
478
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:14,542
I can't find
the "follow" button.
479
00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:16,708
"Order and respect," Mikey?
Order and respect?
480
00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:19,125
That went out the window
the night Alabaster
killed Johnny,
481
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,583
and you fucking
know it, all right?
482
00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:23,125
It's a dog-eat-dog world
and I'm looking for some pussy.
483
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:25,166
Let's go! (gasps)
484
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,500
Don't dramatically
block the door, Mikey.
485
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,291
You're still young.
486
00:19:29,291 --> 00:19:31,125
Go back to school.
487
00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:33,000
Go to university.
488
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,083
You're smart.
489
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:36,333
You're not like
the rest of us, Philly.
490
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,750
I chose this life, Mikey.
491
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,875
(sniffles)
492
00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:41,375
I love you, Mikey.
493
00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:42,542
I love you, too.
494
00:19:42,542 --> 00:19:44,583
Do you wanna boy hug?
Let's boy hug.
495
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:47,375
You know, like
a too aggressive
pat on the back.
496
00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:52,000
I'm gonna slap your back
to offset the fact that
I can feel your heartbeat.
497
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,125
It's a beautiful
and confusing thing, us boys.
498
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,500
May God look after you, Philly.
499
00:19:58,500 --> 00:19:59,583
Hard cut.
500
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:06,166
All right, everybody
stay focused, okay?
501
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:09,083
I don't know where they're--
Shh, what the fuck was that?
502
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,125
Alabaster:
Mmmm!
503
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:13,667
Philip, right?
504
00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:16,959
You're Johnny's
kid brother,
all grown up.
505
00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:19,792
(scoffs) I remember
the last time we was here
506
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:21,625
and you were
crying like a baby.
507
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:25,083
Waa! Waa, Johnny!
You remember that?
508
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:27,125
Goo-goo-ga-ga.
509
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:30,125
Little baby.
(chuckling)
510
00:20:30,125 --> 00:20:32,291
(whispers) Psst, hey, Terrence.
You're gonna make it, buddy.
511
00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:34,041
Thank you so much
for your support.
512
00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:35,834
Always so nice
to meet a fan.
513
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:39,208
Let me ask you something.
How'd you know Big Pussy was
gonna be in Two Bridges, huh?
514
00:20:39,208 --> 00:20:41,166
Well, I had a little help
from my friend.
515
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:44,291
You might know him
as Father Anthony.
516
00:20:44,291 --> 00:20:47,375
(with Irish accent)
Well, what do we have here?
A bunch of jerk-offs.
517
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:50,458
Father Anthony, you don't wanna
be here, all right? Things are
about to get messy.
518
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,917
Oh, Father Anthony?
Yeah.
519
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,125
Or is it...
520
00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:54,500
Voila.
521
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,834
Wait. Father Anthony,
you're bald?
522
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:59,500
Listen, dumbass,
my real name is Gigglepuss.
523
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,000
You killed my brother, Chuckles,
524
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,333
now I'm gonna
kill you for revenge.
525
00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:05,959
Oh! I really thought
you was Irish this whole time.
526
00:21:05,959 --> 00:21:08,458
Are you an actor?
Look, we're all
actors in some respect.
527
00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:10,500
But I'm trying to be
a professional actor, yeah.
528
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,291
Wow!
I got a one-man
show going now.
529
00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:14,500
It's doing really well--
Oh, here it is
with the one-man show.
530
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:18,000
So, anyway.
Yeah, guys, I want
revenge on Alabaster.
531
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,333
Gigglepuss wants revenge on me.
Bingo.
532
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:21,875
Now this has gotten
a little muddy.
533
00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:23,667
I agree.
It is a little muddy, but...
534
00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:26,500
Why don't we just go at it?
All-out brawl type of thing.
535
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,750
I like to call it a melee.
536
00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:30,000
Ooh! A melee!
Yeah, I like that.
537
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,166
Complete chaos,
and then whoever wins
is the winner.
538
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:34,834
Okay, yeah,
that sounds great.
That sound good?
539
00:21:34,834 --> 00:21:36,333
This is gonna be fun.
Okay, so let's...
540
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:38,375
All three:
One, two, three.
541
00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:41,375
(yowling, snarling)
542
00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:45,125
♪ ♪
543
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:52,041
Gig flies!
544
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:54,208
(Gigglepuss yowling)
545
00:21:54,208 --> 00:21:55,959
Just make it quick, all right?
546
00:21:55,959 --> 00:21:57,291
Aw, no!
547
00:21:57,291 --> 00:21:59,625
For Big Pussy!
(yowls)
548
00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:02,959
Mikey!
Did I fucking kill him?
549
00:22:02,959 --> 00:22:05,083
You fucking killed
Gigglepuss, dude!
550
00:22:05,083 --> 00:22:06,708
I fucking didn't mean
to kill him.
551
00:22:06,708 --> 00:22:08,291
All right, focus up!
Focus up!
552
00:22:08,291 --> 00:22:11,417
(yowling)
553
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:12,875
All right, Alabaster.
554
00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:16,083
It's you and me, buddy.
You ready to meet your maker?
555
00:22:16,083 --> 00:22:17,917
Ah, Johnny's knife.
556
00:22:17,917 --> 00:22:20,083
Well, I have something
of Johnny's as well.
557
00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:21,417
What, like a gift?
558
00:22:21,417 --> 00:22:23,959
Yeah, it's like a gift.
559
00:22:23,959 --> 00:22:25,750
You remember this?
560
00:22:25,750 --> 00:22:27,583
Johnny's tooth.
561
00:22:27,583 --> 00:22:29,041
Oh, you recognize it?
562
00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:30,458
Phil, what is it? I can't see.
563
00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:32,375
It's Johhny's tooth.
He pulled out Johnny's tooth.
564
00:22:32,375 --> 00:22:35,625
I've got Johnny's switchblade.
It's very symbolic. Feels good.
565
00:22:35,625 --> 00:22:37,500
All right, stay focused.
Stop talking to me.
566
00:22:38,417 --> 00:22:39,959
All right, Alabaster.
567
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:41,583
Let's finish this
once and for all.
568
00:22:41,583 --> 00:22:45,875
Yeah, let me finish it
once and for all for you.
569
00:22:45,875 --> 00:22:47,166
Okey-doke.
570
00:22:47,166 --> 00:22:49,125
(both grunting)
571
00:22:50,917 --> 00:22:52,625
And then I'll...
I'll flip.
572
00:22:52,625 --> 00:22:53,917
Oh, will you now?
Haha.
573
00:22:53,917 --> 00:22:55,792
What if I did this, huh?
Yeah, what if you did?
574
00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:57,250
Okay, I tried.
Oh!
575
00:22:59,625 --> 00:23:01,041
(both grunt)
576
00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,583
(groans)
577
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,875
No. (coughs)
578
00:23:08,875 --> 00:23:11,875
(coughs)
Oh, Philly.
579
00:23:11,875 --> 00:23:14,291
(chuckles)
Oh, you got me.
580
00:23:14,291 --> 00:23:16,959
(groans) I was a good kitty,
581
00:23:16,959 --> 00:23:18,708
just made all wrong.
582
00:23:18,708 --> 00:23:21,875
They gave ol' Alabaster
the wrong parts.
583
00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:25,792
I bid y'all a farewell.
584
00:23:25,792 --> 00:23:27,500
Mwah!
585
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,875
(yelling)
586
00:23:30,792 --> 00:23:32,458
(gags, vomits)
587
00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:34,625
♪ ♪
588
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:36,875
Mikey, come close.
589
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,708
Yeah, Philly, what is it?
590
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:40,166
I think...
591
00:23:40,166 --> 00:23:43,625
I think I'm gonna go
finish my homework now.
592
00:23:43,625 --> 00:23:46,166
(groans)
593
00:23:46,166 --> 00:23:48,959
(mournful meowing)
594
00:24:02,834 --> 00:24:04,834
♪ ♪
595
00:24:04,834 --> 00:24:06,834
(neon buzzing)
596
00:24:11,542 --> 00:24:14,208
Woo! Terrence is
healthy and scary!
597
00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,625
Lil' bitch!
598
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:23,417
♪ ♪
599
00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:31,750
♪ ♪
600
00:24:31,750 --> 00:24:33,458
♪ Stray ♪
601
00:24:33,458 --> 00:24:35,041
♪ Cats ♪
602
00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:42,375
♪ Stray cats ♪
603
00:24:42,375 --> 00:24:45,583
♪ Hey, all you stray cats ♪
604
00:24:45,583 --> 00:24:47,458
♪ Go and find a home ♪
605
00:24:48,959 --> 00:24:51,166
♪ Wrap yourself in bandages ♪
606
00:24:51,166 --> 00:24:52,875
♪ Ah, stray cats ♪
607
00:24:52,875 --> 00:24:56,041
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats
Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
608
00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:59,458
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats
Baba-loo, the stray cats... ♪
609
00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:02,166
(wind whistling)
610
00:25:02,166 --> 00:25:06,166
♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream ♪
611
00:25:06,166 --> 00:25:10,125
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily, life is but a dream ♪
612
00:25:10,125 --> 00:25:14,291
All:
♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream ♪
613
00:25:14,291 --> 00:25:17,875
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily, life is but a dream ♪
614
00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:19,959
Dreams! That's how
you take the bait.
615
00:25:19,959 --> 00:25:21,500
(cheering)
616
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:24,250
Great!
Fantastic!
617
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,500
Go Gigglepuss!
Beautiful!
618
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:29,166
♪ We are sad and wasted ♪
619
00:25:29,166 --> 00:25:30,917
♪ Ah, stray cats ♪
620
00:25:30,917 --> 00:25:32,250
♪ Baba-loo,
the stray cats ♪
621
00:25:32,250 --> 00:25:33,708
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
622
00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:35,667
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
623
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,083
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
624
00:25:37,083 --> 00:25:38,750
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
625
00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:40,333
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
626
00:25:40,333 --> 00:25:42,083
♪ Baba-loo, the stray cats ♪
627
00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:44,750
♪ ♪
628
00:26:01,959 --> 00:26:03,625
♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
629
00:26:04,375 --> 00:26:06,959
NARRATOR: Nature.
Beautifully chaotic,
630
00:26:06,959 --> 00:26:09,208
and yet meticulously curated.
631
00:26:11,667 --> 00:26:14,208
WORM 1: I really like you.
Can I kiss you?
632
00:26:14,542 --> 00:26:15,625
(MOANS)
633
00:26:15,834 --> 00:26:17,333
WORM 2: Ew. Were you making out
with that?
634
00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:19,125
WORM 1: No.
That's a smudge mark thing.
635
00:26:19,125 --> 00:26:21,333
(SCREAMING)
636
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:23,291
♪ (DRUM PLAYING) ♪
637
00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:25,041
-Square up, bitch. Bring it!
-(GROWLS)
638
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,041
(GUN FIRES)
639
00:26:26,041 --> 00:26:27,000
(GARGLING)
640
00:26:28,166 --> 00:26:28,917
(HISSING)
641
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:30,583
NARRATOR:
Since the dawn of time,
642
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:33,000
predator and prey
have coexisted...
643
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,792
(SCREAMING)
644
00:26:34,792 --> 00:26:36,708
NARRATOR:
...in a symbiotic relationship.
645
00:26:36,708 --> 00:26:37,875
♪ (DRUM CYMBAL CRASHES) ♪
48518
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