Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:14,260
I'm B. J. Novak.
2
00:00:14,630 --> 00:00:16,165
Movies are too long.
3
00:00:16,634 --> 00:00:18,370
TV shows are even longer.
4
00:00:18,403 --> 00:00:20,340
You hear about a new
show, it turns out you're
5
00:00:20,374 --> 00:00:21,744
400 episodes behind
everybody else.
6
00:00:22,612 --> 00:00:24,683
I would never do that to you.
7
00:00:27,756 --> 00:00:31,229
This next story takes us to
Victory High, where pop star
8
00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:33,801
Jesse Wheeler returns
and makes a promise
9
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:36,272
that will change
some young lives.
10
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:40,447
I hope you enjoy "The
Ballad of Jesse Wheeler."
11
00:01:07,702 --> 00:01:08,069
Is that him?
12
00:01:08,103 --> 00:01:09,005
Yeah.
13
00:01:09,038 --> 00:01:11,510
Oh my God. "The Wheels!"
14
00:01:12,144 --> 00:01:13,514
Jesse Wheeler.
15
00:01:14,181 --> 00:01:16,452
Don't worry about that
machine, come on through
16
00:01:16,486 --> 00:01:18,758
That thing is basically
there for show anyways dude.
17
00:01:18,791 --> 00:01:19,793
Oh my God.
18
00:01:19,826 --> 00:01:22,064
The prodigal song is here.
19
00:01:22,364 --> 00:01:24,435
The pride of Victory High and
20
00:01:24,468 --> 00:01:27,074
the biggest pop
star on the planet.
21
00:01:27,341 --> 00:01:28,176
All for love.
22
00:01:28,209 --> 00:01:29,178
Oh my God.
23
00:01:29,211 --> 00:01:30,447
I'm Cooper, Jesse's manager.
24
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,117
This is my assistant, Kailey.
25
00:01:32,519 --> 00:01:34,523
Fred over there is
shooting for CNN Heroes.
26
00:01:34,556 --> 00:01:37,394
Jesse I want you to meet
our Phi Beta Kappa club.
27
00:01:37,762 --> 00:01:41,069
That's a GPA of over 3.0.
28
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,404
That's a B.
29
00:01:42,438 --> 00:01:46,513
This is Susie Xu and
that's Susie's friend.
30
00:01:47,549 --> 00:01:49,553
Susie was allowed
to bring a friend.
31
00:02:00,908 --> 00:02:02,311
Look who came to school.
32
00:02:02,579 --> 00:02:03,848
I come to school sometimes.
33
00:02:04,281 --> 00:02:05,518
Sometimes, yeah‐‐
34
00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:16,707
Ok, ok, alright y’all.
35
00:02:17,642 --> 00:02:20,347
Thank you for that
wonderful reception.
36
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,380
Uh...
37
00:02:21,817 --> 00:02:22,817
You suck, Wallace.
38
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:24,790
Are you ready for "The Wheels?"
39
00:02:25,792 --> 00:02:26,694
Jesse‐‐
40
00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:27,727
Jesse‐‐
41
00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:30,535
Jesse Wheeler!
42
00:02:31,603 --> 00:02:32,639
"The Wheels."
43
00:02:33,607 --> 00:02:34,607
Thank you.
44
00:02:44,663 --> 00:02:45,663
Thank you.
45
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,436
Wow.
46
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,409
From the bottom of my heart,
47
00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:54,382
it feels unbelievable to be
back here at Victory High.
48
00:03:01,496 --> 00:03:04,268
Man, it's a humbling
feeling being here.
49
00:03:05,404 --> 00:03:07,374
Actually, it's not
a humbling feeling.
50
00:03:08,276 --> 00:03:10,247
You're not making
me feel humble,
51
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,917
you're making me
feel incredible.
52
00:03:15,691 --> 00:03:16,691
Seriously?
53
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:19,800
Yeah, so‐‐
54
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:24,208
I'm here today because
I've decided to donate
55
00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:26,279
a million dollars
to Victory High
56
00:03:26,312 --> 00:03:27,549
to build a new library.
57
00:03:34,328 --> 00:03:35,497
But that's not all.
58
00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:40,708
To one hard‐working student‐‐
59
00:03:41,342 --> 00:03:43,948
What do you call the student
at the end of the year who ah‐‐
60
00:03:43,981 --> 00:03:45,518
uh, has the best grade?
61
00:03:45,885 --> 00:03:46,920
You call them a name?
62
00:03:46,954 --> 00:03:47,789
It's not a mean name.
63
00:03:47,822 --> 00:03:48,356
Valedictorian.
64
00:03:48,389 --> 00:03:49,191
Valedictorian.
65
00:03:49,225 --> 00:03:51,597
So, to whoever is
the valedictorian,
66
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:55,938
you win an all‐expense
paid trip‐‐
67
00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:59,311
to my next concert in
Los Angeles, California.
68
00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:00,345
Yes!
69
00:04:02,351 --> 00:04:05,725
And then, we'll go backstage
and chill together.
70
00:04:08,631 --> 00:04:09,800
And then,
71
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:14,241
I will personally give you a
tour of the Wheeler mansion
72
00:04:14,576 --> 00:04:15,444
Awoo!
73
00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:17,782
Up at the top of
the Hollywood Hills.
74
00:04:17,982 --> 00:04:18,982
ALRIGHT!
75
00:04:20,855 --> 00:04:21,657
Yes.
76
00:04:21,690 --> 00:04:22,690
YES!
77
00:04:23,761 --> 00:04:24,761
And then,
78
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:25,998
if you want,
79
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:28,537
I'll fuck you.
80
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,490
He can't offer sex as a prize.
81
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:57,394
I got to go study.
82
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,768
We got to walk back what
you said back there.
83
00:05:00,802 --> 00:05:02,337
Oh, about the donation?
84
00:05:02,539 --> 00:05:05,477
Right, yeah, that didn't
get that much love.
85
00:05:05,511 --> 00:05:08,449
No, about fucking
a student, Jesse.
86
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:12,457
Are you being for
real right now?
87
00:05:12,491 --> 00:05:14,061
That's the part that they liked.
88
00:05:14,094 --> 00:05:16,567
What did you always tell
me that my gift was?
89
00:05:17,802 --> 00:05:19,840
I hear things other
people can't hear.
90
00:05:20,508 --> 00:05:21,810
I hear energy.
91
00:05:22,077 --> 00:05:23,313
I hear feelings.
92
00:05:24,315 --> 00:05:26,419
I hear vibrations and
I put that into music.
93
00:05:27,054 --> 00:05:29,726
That was the sound of
the school coming alive.
94
00:05:30,026 --> 00:05:32,464
What if the winner
is underage, Jesse?
95
00:05:32,497 --> 00:05:33,968
Then it's after they turn 18.
96
00:05:34,569 --> 00:05:35,905
What if the winner's a dude?
97
00:05:39,846 --> 00:05:42,519
I'd really like to give
this opportunity to a woman.
98
00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:44,856
Can we clarify that it's
like, a woman's scholarship?
99
00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,390
Nope.
100
00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:49,096
Fine.
101
00:05:50,535 --> 00:05:51,535
Yeah.
102
00:05:53,139 --> 00:05:55,545
Here's our website and
if you scroll down,
103
00:05:55,578 --> 00:05:56,847
you'll see the message board
104
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,449
where the student messages are.
105
00:05:58,684 --> 00:06:00,120
Okay. Mm‐hmm.
106
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:01,723
What’s an "ussy?"
107
00:06:02,157 --> 00:06:04,061
"U‐S‐S‐Y."
108
00:06:04,663 --> 00:06:08,537
Ussy, is that like a selfie
with a bunch of people?
109
00:06:09,873 --> 00:06:10,775
Read the sentence.
110
00:06:10,808 --> 00:06:13,079
It says, "I'm going
to win the contest,
111
00:06:13,112 --> 00:06:15,885
then I'm going to make him
lick my ussy real good."
112
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,387
Ussy, what's "ussy?"
113
00:06:17,421 --> 00:06:18,791
I think that's maybe a typo.
114
00:06:18,824 --> 00:06:19,893
They forgot a P.
115
00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:23,832
No.
116
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:25,403
This is not good.
117
00:06:27,675 --> 00:06:28,911
Ah, superintendent.
118
00:06:28,944 --> 00:06:31,617
Wallace, what the hell just
happened in your school?
119
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:34,455
This is a religious school
board, you understand?
120
00:06:34,756 --> 00:06:36,693
Man, you know these
kids, it was a goof.
121
00:06:36,727 --> 00:06:38,162
You better hope it was.
122
00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:39,899
If this contest
becomes a big deal,
123
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:40,768
They won't.
124
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:41,846
You'll be fired before you can
125
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:44,008
‐ cash that first pension
check. ‐ Superintendent‐‐
126
00:06:44,041 --> 00:06:45,152
I already know
who's going to win.
127
00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:47,147
She's not going be a problem.
128
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:49,686
Ain't nobody bonking nobody.
129
00:06:52,124 --> 00:06:53,794
Study with us.
130
00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:54,996
Fuck "The Wheels."
131
00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:55,564
Ma‐‐
132
00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:56,800
Study with us.
133
00:07:04,616 --> 00:07:05,985
Study with us.
134
00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:07,454
Fuck "The Wheels."
135
00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:17,040
Mom, they don't say
that to people here.
136
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,219
I just think it would be
such a statement if I won.
137
00:07:23,252 --> 00:07:25,190
Oh, is that why you want to win?
138
00:07:25,223 --> 00:07:26,743
People think you're
a transfer student.
139
00:07:28,329 --> 00:07:30,568
You haven't even been to
school since you were like 13.
140
00:07:30,601 --> 00:07:31,903
What do you care?
141
00:07:31,937 --> 00:07:33,507
What do you not care?
142
00:07:34,876 --> 00:07:36,012
That's not a phrase.
143
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,116
Then why did it hurt?
144
00:07:38,617 --> 00:07:40,888
I'm going to win, and
I'm going to film it.
145
00:07:42,892 --> 00:07:43,894
Bye.
146
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,204
I don't see how it's
all that different
147
00:07:49,238 --> 00:07:51,543
from the standard
meet and greet stuff.
148
00:07:51,576 --> 00:07:52,779
Like a selfie or a hug.
149
00:07:52,812 --> 00:07:55,050
Jesse the difference
is you offered sex.
150
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,722
Exactly, when is the last time
151
00:07:57,755 --> 00:07:59,893
that sex actually
mattered to people?
152
00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:02,965
People have sex for dumb
ass reasons all the time.
153
00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:04,034
That's true.
154
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:04,969
You included?
155
00:08:05,003 --> 00:08:05,905
Oh yeah.
156
00:08:05,938 --> 00:08:07,842
Why can't I do it one time,
157
00:08:08,744 --> 00:08:10,146
to change people's lives?
158
00:08:10,848 --> 00:08:12,088
Look, people are going to say‐‐
159
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:14,656
I don't listen to
people, I listen to God.
160
00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:24,676
Revolutions create
by destroying,
161
00:08:25,845 --> 00:08:28,617
and destroy by creating.
162
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,757
Who is this guy? He's awesome.
163
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:32,925
Mr. Holmes?
164
00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:33,959
Ah...
165
00:08:35,263 --> 00:08:37,200
So, you two love birds get that?
166
00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:38,735
Sorry, sorry.
167
00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:57,508
Listen, pastor.
168
00:08:58,142 --> 00:09:01,282
The voice I'm hearing is not
telling me what other people
169
00:09:01,315 --> 00:09:02,952
tell me it should be saying.
170
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:04,620
For sure.
171
00:09:04,689 --> 00:09:05,689
I hear that.
172
00:09:07,027 --> 00:09:09,164
Can you hit me with
one of those parables?
173
00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:12,970
For sure.
174
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:17,982
There was this village...
175
00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:19,917
years ago.
176
00:09:20,755 --> 00:09:22,892
And in this village,
there lived a chemist.
177
00:09:23,259 --> 00:09:26,332
Every day the chemist, he
would wander the fields,
178
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,138
picking flowers for his potions.
179
00:09:30,006 --> 00:09:32,712
One day, he picked
this beautiful poppy,
180
00:09:33,012 --> 00:09:35,551
and he crushed it up and
put into one of his potions.
181
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,557
And do you know what
poppies turn into?
182
00:09:38,991 --> 00:09:39,991
Poppy juice?
183
00:09:40,795 --> 00:09:42,030
Also known as opium.
184
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:46,305
Now, the chemist, he put some
of it on his lips to taste it.
185
00:09:46,907 --> 00:09:48,710
He felt totally amazing‐‐
186
00:09:48,744 --> 00:09:50,313
and he rushes back
to the village
187
00:09:50,346 --> 00:09:51,917
completely overcome with joy,
188
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:54,121
and he asks this woman
if he can kiss her.
189
00:09:54,321 --> 00:09:56,660
And then she too felt the surge.
190
00:09:57,093 --> 00:10:00,066
First on her lips, and
then all through her body.
191
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,300
Fire.
192
00:10:01,803 --> 00:10:04,709
Now hand in hand, they lept
together through the village
193
00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:06,011
back to the chemist's house
194
00:10:06,045 --> 00:10:07,982
where they laughed
and they danced.
195
00:10:08,015 --> 00:10:09,786
Do you know what the
chemist did then?
196
00:10:10,353 --> 00:10:11,990
He put it on his dick.
197
00:10:12,023 --> 00:10:13,326
That's exactly what he did.
198
00:10:14,762 --> 00:10:16,165
He put it on his dick.
199
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:23,322
Word spread through the
village and the chemist,
200
00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:24,281
you know, all of a sudden,
201
00:10:24,314 --> 00:10:26,051
he's got all these
women lining up
202
00:10:26,085 --> 00:10:27,087
to lay with him.
203
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,757
Woof. That's a top story.
204
00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:29,792
It's not over.
205
00:10:29,826 --> 00:10:30,661
Fire.
206
00:10:30,694 --> 00:10:32,899
Some people, they questioned
207
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,936
if it was fair that
the chemist had
208
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:36,138
this opium dick.
209
00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:40,213
Did the women want
him or his opium?
210
00:10:43,587 --> 00:10:45,825
It's all him because
he made the opium.
211
00:10:47,227 --> 00:10:48,764
Your talent Jesse...
212
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:50,866
your fame,
213
00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:54,074
the light music that
shines through you.
214
00:10:55,376 --> 00:10:56,847
That's my opium dick.
215
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,416
And opium is powerful.
216
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:01,388
You know, some say that opium
is a religion of the masses.
217
00:11:01,923 --> 00:11:03,994
But even when it's your opium,
218
00:11:04,963 --> 00:11:06,967
it's still not
totally yours, is it?
219
00:11:09,238 --> 00:11:10,306
It's God's.
220
00:11:15,450 --> 00:11:16,686
Welcome.
221
00:11:17,922 --> 00:11:21,161
I see a lot of new faces here
at the end of the semester,
222
00:11:21,195 --> 00:11:22,430
which is great.
223
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:27,073
For those of you just joining
us, this is values and ethics.
224
00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:28,376
Tell us what's on the test.
225
00:11:28,409 --> 00:11:30,480
It's not really
about tests in here.
226
00:11:30,514 --> 00:11:33,085
Hi, uh, I'm Abbi‐‐
227
00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:35,323
Um, haven't been to
school in a while,
228
00:11:35,356 --> 00:11:37,762
but eager to engage
in ethics and values.
229
00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:38,429
Welcome, Abbi.
230
00:11:38,462 --> 00:11:39,899
Who's this bitch?
231
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,404
There's a more fundamental
issue at play here.
232
00:11:42,437 --> 00:11:45,109
The central challenge is that
you're teaching a curriculum
233
00:11:45,143 --> 00:11:47,748
that centers on a tradition
formed by thousands of years
234
00:11:47,782 --> 00:11:50,253
of religious worship, but
you're teaching it in an era
235
00:11:50,286 --> 00:11:52,090
where we worship celebrity.
236
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:55,263
Oh, I like this, is
everyone listening to Abbi?
237
00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:57,802
And, celebrity
worship is better.
238
00:11:58,102 --> 00:11:59,438
It's an evolution.
239
00:11:59,471 --> 00:12:01,308
Okay, let's put a
pin in evolution.
240
00:12:01,342 --> 00:12:04,448
Pop culture is a religion,
it has its own deities,
241
00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:05,584
hymns, rituals,
242
00:12:05,618 --> 00:12:08,790
mythologies, except it's not
based on make‐believe and
243
00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:10,059
it hasn't started any wars.
244
00:12:10,093 --> 00:12:13,132
By definition, popular culture
means that the common populace
245
00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:16,205
gets to play a part in defining
it and changing it in real‐time.
246
00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:20,346
Except that democratization
doesn't mean it's superior.
247
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:22,117
It can just be a
shallow reflection
248
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,254
of those same unjust structures.
249
00:12:24,288 --> 00:12:26,927
Case in point, a
white savior figure
250
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:29,197
coming into a majority‐minority
251
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:33,172
school and making a promise in
which the prize itself escalates
252
00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:36,312
a value system that places
himself firmly at the top
253
00:12:36,345 --> 00:12:37,848
of the social hierarchy.
254
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:41,055
Okay, let's move back
towards ethics and values.
255
00:12:41,088 --> 00:12:44,328
I'm sorry, does social justice not
count under ethics andamp; values?
256
00:12:44,361 --> 00:12:45,898
Oh, no, no, that's
not what I meant.
257
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,367
It's not a rhetorical question.
258
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,839
It's about whether you
see ethics and values
259
00:12:49,872 --> 00:12:51,810
through a societal lens
260
00:12:51,843 --> 00:12:54,081
or an individualistic one.
261
00:12:54,348 --> 00:12:57,153
Both valid but extremely
different points of view.
262
00:12:58,489 --> 00:13:00,928
And, I'll connect them for him.
263
00:13:01,428 --> 00:13:05,069
Every day around the
world as a maladaptation
264
00:13:05,103 --> 00:13:08,577
of late‐stage capitalism,
countless sex workers survive
265
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:11,816
by economizing their sexual
value through the enjoyment
266
00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:13,119
of the rich and powerful.
267
00:13:13,152 --> 00:13:18,429
Today, notably, we see a person
who is powerful and privileged
268
00:13:18,462 --> 00:13:20,500
acknowledge his
body as something
269
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:22,505
of sexual value to others.
270
00:13:22,538 --> 00:13:25,978
He offers this of his own free
will as a systemic incentive
271
00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:28,817
for the collective benefit
of the disenfranchised.
272
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,921
In that way, it's an
act of social justice
273
00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:33,459
with repercussions
far beyond school.
274
00:13:34,127 --> 00:13:36,900
As a step towards
destigmatizing sex work,
275
00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:39,906
revolutionizing the lives
of millions of people
276
00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:41,843
and treating the
aesthetic appeal
277
00:13:41,876 --> 00:13:43,847
of status as a
collective resource
278
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,251
belonging to the
people who created it.
279
00:13:59,111 --> 00:14:00,413
This is some bullshit.
280
00:14:01,616 --> 00:14:03,285
I'm going to lose my patience.
281
00:14:04,287 --> 00:14:06,058
These fucking kids are reading.
282
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:08,060
Stop reading!
283
00:14:08,563 --> 00:14:09,532
Get on TikTok,
284
00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:11,201
Get your phones out right now.
285
00:14:13,472 --> 00:14:14,609
Susie Xu...
286
00:14:16,045 --> 00:14:17,515
my favorite student.
287
00:14:17,548 --> 00:14:18,215
Listen up.
288
00:14:18,249 --> 00:14:20,386
All our interests are aligned.
289
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:24,027
The religious school board
has been on my ass every day
290
00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:25,296
about this contest.
291
00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:28,202
Now, all you got to do
is ace that history fair.
292
00:14:28,436 --> 00:14:30,339
Become valedictorian.
293
00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,410
Give a nice, normal speech,
294
00:14:32,444 --> 00:14:35,183
just a regular speech and
then we're going to move on.
295
00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:37,320
I've been thinking.
296
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:38,924
Well, thinking is good.
297
00:14:38,957 --> 00:14:40,426
What is any of this for?
298
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:42,430
No, not that kind of thinking.
299
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:46,004
Am I doing everything
for other people?
300
00:14:46,405 --> 00:14:47,474
Hell yeah.
301
00:14:48,142 --> 00:14:49,645
You're doing it for the school.
302
00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:52,117
You're doing it for
uh, your parents,
303
00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:54,087
job market, the community.
304
00:14:54,387 --> 00:14:56,258
Yeah, but do I want what I want
305
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:59,164
because other people
tell me I want it?
306
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:02,571
And why do they want
what they want for me?
307
00:15:03,305 --> 00:15:05,176
Someone else must
have made them want.
308
00:15:05,209 --> 00:15:06,209
Right?
309
00:15:07,046 --> 00:15:08,617
I mean, where does it stop?
310
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:10,451
How does it stop?
311
00:15:11,188 --> 00:15:12,457
Who decides to stop it?
312
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,198
Why did Jesse Wheeler
make that promise?
313
00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:18,436
I don't know, just
to fuck up my life.
314
00:15:19,104 --> 00:15:19,772
Do me a favor.
315
00:15:19,806 --> 00:15:22,912
Just ace the history fair, okay?
316
00:15:23,179 --> 00:15:24,181
Get into college.
317
00:15:24,448 --> 00:15:26,553
Smoking doobie in
your dorm room,
318
00:15:27,253 --> 00:15:29,424
then you ask the
wacky questions.
319
00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:32,998
He's the biggest pop
star on the planet.
320
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,336
Who's next for Jesse Wheeler?
321
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:39,277
Our hush hush inside sources at
Victory High tell us the contest
322
00:15:39,311 --> 00:15:42,350
for valedictorian
is down to three.
323
00:15:42,383 --> 00:15:45,423
Susie Xu, reigning
Phi Beta Kappa.
324
00:15:45,456 --> 00:15:49,164
Abbi Miller, who apparently
was one day shy of expulsion
325
00:15:49,197 --> 00:15:50,601
for non‐attendance,
326
00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:52,505
or Caleb Rose.
327
00:15:52,538 --> 00:15:54,241
You know who I'm rooting for.
328
00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:57,515
Listen, let's just apologize
and cut our losses.
329
00:15:57,548 --> 00:15:58,548
I can't.
330
00:15:58,750 --> 00:15:59,719
Why not?
331
00:15:59,752 --> 00:16:02,558
Because I don't think
I did anything wrong.
332
00:16:03,225 --> 00:16:05,329
That's not how
apologies work anymore.
333
00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:07,300
Alright, it's hard‐‐
334
00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:09,070
to get to number one.
335
00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:11,341
It's even harder
to stay number one.
336
00:16:11,609 --> 00:16:14,682
I'm not number one because I
work so hard to be number one.
337
00:16:15,483 --> 00:16:18,557
I'm number one, because I
work so hard to be myself.
338
00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:23,032
Listen to me.
339
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:26,271
This thing that we built,
340
00:16:27,307 --> 00:16:28,610
we built it together.
341
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:30,514
And if this comes down,
342
00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:34,087
it comes down on all of us.
343
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:37,928
All right.
344
00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:39,665
Let me talk to God real quick.
345
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,368
You haven't done that yet?
346
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,671
No, just Pastor Jack.
347
00:16:43,138 --> 00:16:44,341
Please talk to God.
348
00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:46,311
Talk to God.
349
00:16:46,345 --> 00:16:47,345
Alright.
350
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:56,797
Mm‐hmm
351
00:16:58,269 --> 00:16:59,269
Yeah man.
352
00:17:01,776 --> 00:17:02,776
Mmm
353
00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:06,786
God says to ask you
about an $800,000 check
354
00:17:06,819 --> 00:17:08,222
from the Dubai gig.
355
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,269
That came in today.
356
00:17:16,606 --> 00:17:18,777
Let him know we're
processing it.
357
00:17:19,311 --> 00:17:20,311
Okay.
358
00:17:22,818 --> 00:17:25,056
And so, this crazy competish‐‐
359
00:17:25,089 --> 00:17:27,493
all comes down to
the history fair.
360
00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:32,036
We are live with the man who
decides it all, Mr. Holmes.
361
00:17:32,303 --> 00:17:34,174
So, what can we
expect at the fair?
362
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,111
It's anybody's guess Andy.
363
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:38,482
History is wild‐‐
364
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:42,825
beheadings, gladiators,
concubines, sick stuff.
365
00:17:43,893 --> 00:17:46,331
So, do you find it
surprising that students are
366
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,670
actually interested in history?
367
00:17:48,703 --> 00:17:50,641
It's surprising
they weren't before.
368
00:17:52,176 --> 00:17:53,680
Skipping to the fun part,
369
00:17:53,713 --> 00:17:55,784
who do you think is
going to spend the night
370
00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:56,719
with "The Wheels?"
371
00:17:56,753 --> 00:17:59,157
Who's going to get
a prize Andy huh?
372
00:17:59,190 --> 00:18:01,696
The prize is that for
a few short years,
373
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:06,706
their only task is to hear the
most brain‐meltingly twisted,
374
00:18:06,906 --> 00:18:10,379
true stories of the
planet they're born on.
375
00:18:10,814 --> 00:18:14,421
Said they treat school
as nothing more.
376
00:18:15,256 --> 00:18:19,732
The preparation for lives
so boring and meaningless
377
00:18:20,634 --> 00:18:26,445
that they actually look forward
to watching your stupid show.
378
00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:29,652
Now, that actually
hurt my feelings.
379
00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:37,801
Mm‐hmm
380
00:18:50,794 --> 00:18:51,794
What's this?
381
00:18:52,263 --> 00:18:53,263
America.
382
00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:54,767
America?
383
00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:57,173
America?
384
00:18:57,206 --> 00:18:57,741
Yup.
385
00:18:57,775 --> 00:18:58,843
Where are the witches?
386
00:18:58,877 --> 00:18:59,645
Hmm?
387
00:18:59,679 --> 00:19:00,614
The witch trials.
388
00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:01,783
Where are the witches?
389
00:19:01,816 --> 00:19:02,818
Trail of tears?
390
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:05,122
Genocide of a
continent, slavery,
391
00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:06,726
the adulation of slavery...
392
00:19:06,759 --> 00:19:08,362
telephone, electricity.
393
00:19:08,395 --> 00:19:10,634
Rocket ships, war...
394
00:19:10,967 --> 00:19:13,640
Elvis Pressley dead on a toilet!
395
00:19:14,407 --> 00:19:18,282
Oh God, this is the most
pathetic project I've ever seen.
396
00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:20,854
B minus baby.
397
00:19:21,355 --> 00:19:22,390
Whoo.
398
00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:28,335
The story of the world is
that chains of oppression,
399
00:19:28,636 --> 00:19:31,576
morph into chain
links of progress.
400
00:19:32,343 --> 00:19:34,849
Everyone who has been
disconnected from society and
401
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:38,823
systems of power, has rebelled,
intersectional progress.
402
00:19:38,857 --> 00:19:40,660
This guy is unbelievable.
403
00:19:40,694 --> 00:19:41,662
Keep it up.
404
00:19:41,696 --> 00:19:42,965
He got an A plus.
405
00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:45,969
Thank you, sir.
406
00:19:48,242 --> 00:19:49,242
Well, who are you?
407
00:19:49,411 --> 00:19:50,379
I'm Abbi.
408
00:19:50,413 --> 00:19:51,481
Abbi, yeah.
409
00:19:51,516 --> 00:19:52,450
Here you go.
410
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:53,720
You've made your wands?
411
00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:55,389
Yes, those are your magic wands.
412
00:19:55,423 --> 00:19:57,427
MR.Oh really, yeah.
That better fit.
413
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:58,939
You're going to use them
when I put this on you.
414
00:19:58,963 --> 00:19:59,963
Oh!
415
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,032
Ohhh.
416
00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:05,677
Oh my God.
417
00:20:05,711 --> 00:20:08,983
The fundamental scandal of
every institution is to pretend
418
00:20:09,017 --> 00:20:11,823
it is built out of the very
force capable of destroying it.
419
00:20:11,856 --> 00:20:13,560
Government claims community,
420
00:20:13,593 --> 00:20:15,296
Religion claims
spiritual wonder,
421
00:20:15,329 --> 00:20:17,467
and history, the running
record of rebellion
422
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:20,941
against every concept and
system, is claimed by school.
423
00:20:20,974 --> 00:20:23,880
School hides the world's most
dangerous ideas in plain sight
424
00:20:23,913 --> 00:20:26,284
by using them to bore
the shit out of people.
425
00:20:26,318 --> 00:20:28,364
Until potential rebels to
the system reject the tools
426
00:20:28,388 --> 00:20:29,525
that could take it down.
427
00:20:29,558 --> 00:20:30,827
MR.Oh my God.
428
00:20:31,294 --> 00:20:32,330
Which is why sex‐‐
429
00:20:32,363 --> 00:20:34,367
the force most capable of
inspiring both infinite
430
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,541
selfishness and infinite bonding
is appropriated by all systems
431
00:20:37,574 --> 00:20:39,612
of power and must be liberated.
432
00:20:40,947 --> 00:20:42,718
If you want to
matter to history,
433
00:20:42,751 --> 00:20:45,624
you must be as disloyal to its
structures as you are loyal
434
00:20:45,657 --> 00:20:46,692
to its spirit.
435
00:20:46,726 --> 00:20:49,230
The world is
watching, Mr. Holmes.
436
00:20:49,532 --> 00:20:51,502
Do you belong to
history’s buildings,
437
00:20:51,536 --> 00:20:53,506
or the people who blow them up?
438
00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:59,518
Jesse Wheeler.
439
00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:06,732
‐ Okay, thanks. ‐ Thank you.
440
00:21:09,605 --> 00:21:10,605
‐ Hey. ‐ Hey.
441
00:21:10,974 --> 00:21:12,043
Hey, I'm Jesse.
442
00:21:12,076 --> 00:21:12,978
Hi, I'm Abbi.
443
00:21:13,011 --> 00:21:15,282
‐ Nice to meet you.
‐ Nice to meet you.
444
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,521
Thanks for doing that
contest, it's really cool.
445
00:21:17,788 --> 00:21:20,694
Yeah, that was no problem.
446
00:21:20,727 --> 00:21:21,762
Um...
447
00:21:21,796 --> 00:21:23,766
You know, education
is important.
448
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,800
Uh...
449
00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:26,572
I am grateful to know you.
450
00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:29,845
It's good to be here.
451
00:21:29,879 --> 00:21:30,747
‐ Yeah. ‐ Awesome.
452
00:21:30,780 --> 00:21:32,985
Cool, well if you
want, you can just‐‐
453
00:21:33,385 --> 00:21:34,522
wait in there for a sec‐‐
454
00:21:34,555 --> 00:21:35,624
Okay, cool.
455
00:21:37,026 --> 00:21:38,026
Peace.
456
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:40,065
Hey, you want a photo?
457
00:21:42,571 --> 00:21:43,840
So, this is my home.
458
00:21:44,407 --> 00:21:46,746
I've lived here for,
I guess like a year.
459
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:48,482
Still kinda new.
460
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:49,685
Oh my God.
461
00:21:49,718 --> 00:21:51,488
It's a bit
overwhelming at first,
462
00:21:51,522 --> 00:21:53,726
but people tell me I'm
going to grow into it.
463
00:21:54,093 --> 00:21:55,597
Wow.
464
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:59,339
This is my favorite room in the
house is where I come to read.
465
00:21:59,605 --> 00:22:02,043
These are my yellow books.
These are my red books.
466
00:22:02,076 --> 00:22:03,513
These are my purple books,
467
00:22:03,546 --> 00:22:04,682
my green books and...
468
00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:07,386
of course, you
know, my blue books.
469
00:22:08,590 --> 00:22:10,492
Yeah, I love reading.
470
00:22:15,402 --> 00:22:16,606
What's it like being smart?
471
00:22:17,406 --> 00:22:18,610
Being the valedictorian?
472
00:22:21,682 --> 00:22:21,983
Uh...
473
00:22:22,416 --> 00:22:23,485
Um...
474
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,692
Sometimes, I wonder what my
life would have been like
475
00:22:26,959 --> 00:22:28,596
if I had stayed in school,
476
00:22:28,630 --> 00:22:29,765
how smart I'd be.
477
00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:31,636
Things like that.
478
00:22:31,969 --> 00:22:33,773
You're not really
missing anything.
479
00:22:34,007 --> 00:22:36,646
Hmm, you don't
care about school?
480
00:22:36,846 --> 00:22:38,683
I mean, I loved it
when I was little.
481
00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:39,985
Then what happened?
482
00:22:41,054 --> 00:22:42,958
I read all the
books they assigned.
483
00:22:43,927 --> 00:22:45,429
And if you really read them,
484
00:22:45,462 --> 00:22:46,866
they're just
saying, fuck school.
485
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,538
Right. Wait, really?
486
00:22:50,172 --> 00:22:51,776
Yeah, fuck school and‐‐
487
00:22:52,143 --> 00:22:53,445
everything like school.
488
00:22:54,982 --> 00:22:56,519
Like with the F word.
489
00:22:57,153 --> 00:22:58,455
In spirit, yeah.
490
00:23:00,994 --> 00:23:01,994
Huh.
491
00:23:05,637 --> 00:23:06,973
You want to read right now?
492
00:23:09,077 --> 00:23:11,481
No, I'm cool with just
hanging out with you.
493
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:12,718
Cool. I'm cool with that.
494
00:23:12,751 --> 00:23:13,751
Yeah.
495
00:23:14,822 --> 00:23:16,692
I'm comf‐‐ I'm cool either way.
496
00:23:22,738 --> 00:23:24,842
What's it like being famous?
497
00:23:26,144 --> 00:23:28,115
And then coming back like that?
498
00:23:29,752 --> 00:23:30,820
It was wild.
499
00:23:31,154 --> 00:23:33,559
Because when I was up there,
500
00:23:33,826 --> 00:23:37,734
I remembered all of the people
501
00:23:39,203 --> 00:23:40,707
who were mean to me.
502
00:23:41,909 --> 00:23:45,917
And who made me feel
small and stupid.
503
00:23:48,823 --> 00:23:51,696
And how badly they
made me want it.
504
00:23:51,729 --> 00:23:52,731
To make it.
505
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,672
And then to come back and just
give them two middle fingers,
506
00:23:56,706 --> 00:23:57,706
you know?
507
00:23:58,643 --> 00:23:59,979
Why didn't you do that?
508
00:24:01,515 --> 00:24:03,786
Because I wasn't
the same person.
509
00:24:05,724 --> 00:24:07,828
I wish I were so I could have.
510
00:24:09,197 --> 00:24:10,667
I just spoke from the heart.
511
00:24:11,669 --> 00:24:12,669
That's all.
512
00:24:14,107 --> 00:24:17,514
Maybe that's a bigger two
middle fingers in a way.
513
00:24:21,021 --> 00:24:22,021
Hmm.
514
00:24:28,235 --> 00:24:29,235
So...
515
00:24:29,538 --> 00:24:30,874
You don't like school,
516
00:24:32,878 --> 00:24:35,215
and you don't know my music,
517
00:24:36,585 --> 00:24:38,756
why did you become
valedictorian?
518
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,560
Uh...
519
00:24:49,712 --> 00:24:50,712
Wait‐‐
520
00:24:52,016 --> 00:24:55,089
that's me with you?
521
00:24:55,590 --> 00:24:57,561
I've never seen
this photo before.
522
00:24:58,128 --> 00:24:59,230
How is that possible?
523
00:24:59,263 --> 00:25:01,267
I know it's just,
it's just mine.
524
00:25:02,269 --> 00:25:04,040
They used to print pictures,
525
00:25:05,175 --> 00:25:07,814
and there were only
like one or two.
526
00:25:08,649 --> 00:25:11,054
So, that day my‐‐
527
00:25:11,856 --> 00:25:14,595
that day my parent's gave
us money to go to McCool's.
528
00:25:14,862 --> 00:25:16,966
We were walking through
Victory Park and people were
529
00:25:16,999 --> 00:25:18,068
sledding and‐‐
530
00:25:18,936 --> 00:25:20,840
we didn't have sleds.
531
00:25:20,874 --> 00:25:21,874
So, you...
532
00:25:23,913 --> 00:25:26,752
you took a garbage bag
out of the garbage can and
533
00:25:26,786 --> 00:25:28,890
shook all the garbage out of it.
534
00:25:29,925 --> 00:25:30,660
Really?
535
00:25:30,693 --> 00:25:31,762
Yeah, it was the‐‐
536
00:25:32,931 --> 00:25:35,102
it was the coolest
thing I'd ever seen.
537
00:25:36,037 --> 00:25:37,037
You just‐‐
538
00:25:37,273 --> 00:25:39,545
always had this faith
539
00:25:40,647 --> 00:25:42,083
in whatever you were feeling
540
00:25:43,753 --> 00:25:46,559
that it is worth doing
541
00:25:48,161 --> 00:25:49,297
or saying.
542
00:25:56,177 --> 00:25:57,581
I don't know what‐‐
543
00:25:58,315 --> 00:26:00,152
I don't know what to
do with this feeling.
544
00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:02,289
Should we make it
into a music video?
545
00:26:02,323 --> 00:26:03,323
No.
546
00:26:04,327 --> 00:26:06,064
No, it's just‐‐
547
00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:09,103
No, it's just for us.
548
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,044
That was the best
day of my life.
549
00:26:15,850 --> 00:26:17,153
Better than today?
550
00:26:22,196 --> 00:26:23,196
Yeah.
551
00:26:25,804 --> 00:26:26,804
Hmm.
552
00:26:36,224 --> 00:26:38,195
So, what do you want to do now?
553
00:26:42,103 --> 00:26:45,643
And now, some words of wisdom
from our valedictorian,
554
00:26:47,346 --> 00:26:48,883
Um, can I uh...
555
00:26:49,885 --> 00:26:52,624
Let me get the check
first, then the speech.
556
00:26:53,125 --> 00:26:53,826
Hmm?
557
00:26:53,860 --> 00:26:57,166
Our valedictorian, Abbi Miller!
558
00:27:03,378 --> 00:27:04,715
Congratulations.
559
00:27:25,723 --> 00:27:26,826
I fucked him.
560
00:27:27,126 --> 00:27:28,228
Woo!
561
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,203
My check!
562
00:27:40,452 --> 00:27:41,755
Wooo!
38720
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.