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1
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:37,818
Win a trip for 12
to anywhere in the free world,
2
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:41,793
or win a working oil well
and have money flowing in for years.
3
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:45,558
That's the grand prize
in Dial Soap's big contest.
4
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,760
Write a two line jingle starting,
"I'm glad I use Dial..."
5
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,065
The last word in
both lines must rhyme.
6
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:54,436
For example: "I'm glad I use Dial..."
7
00:02:55,642 --> 00:03:00,045
How hard is it to put it
across the plate? You idiot.
8
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,638
There once was a time,
believe it or not,
9
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,742
when skill and a
reasonable amount of luck
10
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:09,277
could actually feed a family of 12.
11
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,621
Oome on! Strike 'em out,
you dog-faced bastard! Play ball!
12
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,819
Oontesting, if you haven't heard of it,
13
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:18,921
was a lucrative way for overworked
housewives to use their underused wits.
14
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,962
It wasn't that I was any more gifted
than your average contester,
15
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,005
I was simply more determined.
16
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:29,473
I was so prolific, in fact,
that I borrowed my children's names
17
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,533
so I could submit
more than one entry.
18
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,876
This was a perfectly legal tactic
in the contesting world,
19
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,941
and as far as I could see, one of
the advantages of having so many kids.
20
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:48,491
My creative output usually
corresponded directly to our needs.
21
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,394
- Hey, Mom. The toaster's broke.
- Broken.
22
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,898
All right. Hold on.
23
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,496
"Kraft's Parkay
won't tear fresh bread.
24
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,539
Even ice cold,
it will smoothly spread."
25
00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:08,336
- Here you go, honey.
- Thanks, Mom.
26
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,685
Small household adversities
were my steady inspiration.
27
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,846
But whenever fate handed
one of my kids an unfair blow,
28
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,857
it would set my muse on fire.
29
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:26,797
- Mom.
- What, honey?
30
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:28,800
The landlord's here.
31
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:31,462
Oh, hello, Mr. Stubbs.
Oome on in.
32
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,903
- Dad!
- Hey, Dad!
33
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,817
Dad, we're being evicted!
34
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,855
- Oome on, let me out.
- Dad!
35
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,414
- We're being evicted.
- Oh, yeah?
36
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,960
The landlord came by.
He wants the house back.
37
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,859
His daughter's getting married.
38
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,989
- How long do we have?
- Three weeks.
39
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:02,797
- What are we gonna do?
- Don't you worry, sweetheart.
40
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,201
Mom always figures something out.
41
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:07,865
- Do you know the capital of Alaska?
- No.
42
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:11,104
- Juneau... get it?
- Oh, yeah. Good one.
43
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:15,176
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Dad. I suppose you heard?
44
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:18,445
Yep. Oan't seem
to catch a break, can we?
45
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,477
Here, I brought you something.
46
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:25,581
- Thank you.
- Don't choke up so much on the bat.
47
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,819
- All right, Dad.
- Attaboy.
48
00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:55,345
Mom! The men are here to kick us out!
49
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:03,490
May I help you?
50
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,092
- Mrs. Ryan?
- Yes.
51
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:08,793
Is your son, Dick, here?
52
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,370
This is Dick.
What is this about?
53
00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:14,338
Oongratulations, son.
54
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,875
- You've just won $5,000.
- I did?
55
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,639
I'm Mr. Forrest,
this is Mr. Bravey and Mr. Kramer
56
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,646
of the Western Auto Supply Oompany.
57
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,547
Out of 65,000 entries
in our national bike contest,
58
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,244
you have won the grand prize.
59
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,311
- Oh, my goodness.
- And that's not all.
60
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,823
You've won a brand new
Western Flyer bicycle
61
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,916
and a Westinghouse washer and dryer.
62
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:36,553
- A washing machine? Oh, my Lord.
- That's right.
63
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,694
Are you all right?
64
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:43,202
I just have to sit down
and have myself a happy cry.
65
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,668
I love that bike.
66
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:49,674
Dad! We won!
67
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:54,112
We won $5,000!
68
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,944
- No kidding.
- Isn't it marvelous?
69
00:06:57,016 --> 00:07:00,110
- It's awesome!
- I told you everything would be OK.
70
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:03,019
Oongratulations, Kelly.
You got quite a wife there.
71
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,716
Yep, looks like she got lucky.
72
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,658
Mom says she's gonna put
the money down on a new house.
73
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:10,161
- Yeah?
- Looks like you got lucky.
74
00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:14,029
Oh, now, Kelly was all set to do it,
I just beat him to the punch.
75
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,324
Alrighty.
76
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:20,498
Just need you to sign Dick's check over
to Defiance Home Saving and Loan.
77
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,507
- Does it matter which of us...?
- No.
78
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,509
Whoever is over 21.
79
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:27,569
Although, you don't look
a day over 19, Mrs. Ryan.
80
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,844
Well, in that case, I'd better sign it.
81
00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:40,582
Here you go.
82
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,485
Okey-doke.
83
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,596
And, now the mortgage papers...
84
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,860
You need both our signatures, correct?
85
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,697
Some married couples do that.
86
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:52,101
But it's really not necessary.
87
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:55,572
And, after all, I'm the guy
who has to pay the mortgage,
88
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,906
seems I'm the only one
who needs to sign it.
89
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,537
And since the bank account's
under my name...
90
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,410
Sure, that's how most folks do it.
91
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,882
Well, that seems right to me.
92
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,950
Well, I guess it's all on me then.
93
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,251
Unless Mother here wants to start...
94
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,018
...punching in at the shop.
- Only if you'll do the ironing.
95
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:18,657
We just need
your John Hancock there.
96
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,428
Ryan.
97
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,828
Well, congratulations, Mr. Ryan.
98
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,365
You are a homeowner, sir.
99
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,966
Thank you.
100
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,783
All right, watch that curb.
101
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,419
- Good, yes.
- Oh, my goodness.
102
00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:51,827
Is that what I won?
103
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,924
- Yes, ma'am.
- They're just beautiful.
104
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,593
- Watch out.
- Excuse me, sir.
105
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:58,432
Dad, can you believe it?
106
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:01,064
No more boiling diapers
on top of the stove.
107
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:04,701
Yep, gonna miss it.
It made a nice soup.
108
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:06,176
The cost of modern living.
109
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,145
Sir, we're looking for Mrs. E. Ryan.
110
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,842
- There.
- Oh, hello. I'm up here.
111
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,748
This is your new home freezer.
112
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,377
Mikey, honey, get down.
113
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,319
"Ask any Eskimo and they'll say,
114
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,983
frozen keeps
the freshness in every day."
115
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:22,960
My gosh. I forgot all about that one.
When it rains, it pours.
116
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,360
Down.
117
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,692
Well, bring it on in.
118
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,061
How's it going, Pop?
119
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,967
Don't make your old man
carry this couch.
120
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,796
Oome on.
121
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:40,542
OK, on the count of three.
One, two, three.
122
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:43,343
Tuff, keep that cat out of the house.
123
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,981
What are you doing?
124
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,918
Here.
125
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:54,888
A little bit of this?
126
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:56,588
Good?
127
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:05,697
Dad, isn't this the biggest freezer
you ever seen in your life?
128
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,672
It's like the ones in restaurants.
129
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:10,971
The deliveryman told me
it would hold two sides of beef.
130
00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:12,908
Seems like overkill to me.
131
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:17,711
Besides, it's dangerous.
A kid could fall in there and suffocate.
132
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:21,914
- No, we won't.
- I don't want to say I told you so.
133
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,388
- I'd like to keep it.
- What the heck for?
134
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,017
Do you know how much
electricity this will eat?
135
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:29,493
It inspires me.
It's something to be filled.
136
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:30,756
Good luck with that.
137
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:33,628
Even Howard Hughes
couldn't fill that thing.
138
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,667
We got plenty in it already.
139
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,834
- Only dishes, but something's in there.
- Yeah.
140
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,375
That'll take up
some of the room, at least.
141
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:49,240
The Red Sox, three,
Oleveland, two.
142
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,783
- The Indians have one last out.
- God's sakes!
143
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,649
Bunch of bums, is what you are.
144
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,156
- Bunch of bums.
- The bases are loaded.
145
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:01,387
Writing a winning entry not only
requires a modicum of wit,
146
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:05,021
it also requires careful product focus.
147
00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:09,090
Notice I have not one,
but two brand names I need to use.
148
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,261
You want to know
where this is headed?
149
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,828
Niagara Falls, straight down.
150
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:16,136
Here's what I have so far.
151
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,404
"Wide selections, priced to please her.
152
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:21,207
Scads of Seabrook's in their freezer.
153
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,544
Warmth that scorns the impersonal trend,
154
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:26,676
stamps Big Ohief
as the housewife's friend."
155
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,620
Mom, I left my
spelling book in the kitchen.
156
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,650
All right, honey.
157
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,754
- Strike two.
- God damn it.
158
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,695
- Where is it?
- What's the matter?
159
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,357
Take the bat off your shoulder.
160
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,426
- Who's ahead?
- The Red Sox.
161
00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:46,970
All right.
162
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,701
Oome on, you moron. Hit the ball!
163
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:53,871
...gets the sign... on third...
164
00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:55,538
...here's the pitch...
165
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:57,708
Oold! Strike three.
166
00:11:57,783 --> 00:12:01,549
God damn it to holy fucking hell!
167
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,556
You're killing us, you stupid bastard!
168
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,524
Hey, shut up over there!
169
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:09,183
You shut up!
170
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,890
This is a family neighborhood.
Olean your mouth.
171
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:15,331
I'll clean you up!
Who are you, the Pope?
172
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:18,165
Oh, for crying out loud.
I can't believe we got...
173
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:22,266
Goddamn piece of shit!
174
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,043
Where you trying to go with that?
175
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,876
This goddamn thing is too big
for this goddamn house!
176
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:32,042
You're gonna hurt your back.
Why not wait until morning?
177
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:35,519
I want this goddamn thing
out of the house right now!
178
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,557
I want it out!
179
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:42,185
- I never wanted it!
- All right, I'll see what I can do.
180
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:59,967
You'll enjoy...
181
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:03,642
The clean, tangy taste of Dr. Pepper.
182
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:07,315
- Nice try.
- Sorry, Mrs. Bidlack.
183
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,615
Watch it.
184
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:14,451
Maybe we should talk on the radio.
185
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,270
Indians.
I can't believe the Indians...
186
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,433
Problem is they got no clean-up batter.
187
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,170
- Olean up what?
- Half the team's in a slump.
188
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:34,735
Best move to make
is get rid of that manager.
189
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,510
You can't blame him.
Pitching, I'm telling you...
190
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:40,814
- What a world.
- Yeah. There's always...
191
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:43,753
- We're gonna take off now.
- Take it easy.
192
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,553
Hey, thanks, Tim.
193
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,788
He won't give you anymore trouble.
194
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:54,162
Best thing to do
is let him sleep it off.
195
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,365
Hey, Dick, how's the pitching arm?
196
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:02,430
Going for a no-hitter next season?
197
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,567
- You bet.
- Go get 'em, kiddo.
198
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,976
Here you go. I made this for you.
199
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,079
Thank you, Dad.
200
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,123
I'm tired.
201
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,354
Your pajamas are on the bed.
202
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,657
Thank you.
203
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:34,963
Mom?
204
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,168
Father McOague's here.
205
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:43,112
I don't think that you need to worry.
206
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:46,276
I'm sure that he's learned his lesson.
207
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:49,219
This has been going on
for a very long time.
208
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:53,349
Every night he drinks
a six pack and a pint of whiskey.
209
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,088
By the end of the week
nothing's left of his check.
210
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,959
It's all gone to the liquor store.
211
00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:00,123
Kelly has a big family to take care of.
212
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:04,431
I'm sure he's carrying around
the weight of the world.
213
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:09,765
But the more he drinks,
the less he's able to pay the bills,
214
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,003
which is one reason he's so unhappy.
215
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,069
But it's up to you, you see,
216
00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:17,946
- to make him a good home.
- But I do.
217
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:21,552
Well, you'll have
to try a little harder.
218
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:28,684
No one says that life is easy.
219
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,893
Thank you for coming by, Father.
220
00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:42,068
Yes, indeed.
221
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:56,019
Are you being obedient
and saying all your prayers?
222
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:57,749
Yes, Father.
223
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:02,090
Good boy. I'll see you in church.
224
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,964
His breath smells like Dad's.
225
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:13,971
Well, maybe that's why Father
likes to use so much incense.
226
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,909
All right, kids.
227
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,141
Let's go to bed.
I'm tired of this day.
228
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:23,282
I need a new one.
229
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:23,941
I need a new one.
230
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,177
If I may pause
in the story for a moment,
231
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,880
I'd like to briefly explain my marriage.
232
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:34,187
As a young scribe, I was a resident wit
for the Sherwood Weekly Ohronicle.
233
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,785
Queen Elizabeth
invented ladies' stockings.
234
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:40,161
Since her time,
they've covered a multitude of shins.
235
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,496
Evelyn, that's top-notch.
236
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,002
I had potential, as they say.
237
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:49,363
I was also in sore need of adventure.
238
00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:52,535
And Kelly Ryan was loads of fun.
239
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:09,193
He loved music
as much as I loved words.
240
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:12,753
And we were just the perfect match.
241
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:29,879
Then one night, Kelly's career
as a crooner came to a terrible end.
242
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:38,050
And so, our life in Defiance began...
243
00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:43,386
...where my husband joined
the ranks of ordinary men.
244
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:52,933
So if he seems unhelpful at times
245
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,939
or selfish or mean,
246
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:58,937
please remember
that he lost his voice,
247
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,376
while I kept mine.
248
00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:06,182
Here you go, Dick.
249
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,686
There's a soldier on this glass,
look at that.
250
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,517
Who's winning the battle?
251
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:16,818
Drink your milk, baby.
252
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:19,363
Morning, Mother. Morning, kids.
253
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,092
Morning, Dad.
254
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:25,193
What do you say I fix
everyone some pancakes?
255
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,866
You can't. We're out of milk.
I need some money, by the way.
256
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,673
How about coffee?
You guys are old enough.
257
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,975
- No, thanks.
- No.
258
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,176
Who the heck did this?
One of you kids?
259
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,016
You did, Daddy.
260
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:46,785
No, siree. I think it was...
261
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:47,951
...you.
262
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,922
No, I did not.
263
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:53,590
Yeah.
264
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:57,625
Well, you can't sell it now.
Looks like we're stuck with it.
265
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,898
It seems like we are.
266
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,633
How about I take up hunting,
267
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,800
fill that thing full of duck and deer?
268
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,571
No, Daddy!
269
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,942
You don't like that idea, OK.
270
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:10,038
Well, how about I just go shoot
271
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:12,982
some squirrels
and little bunny rabbits?
272
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:16,021
How about you don't spend
so much at the liquor store.
273
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,455
Tell you what.
274
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,130
Every night, when I come home,
275
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,464
I'll bring something
from the grocery store.
276
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:38,772
I'm gonna fill that to the very top,
even if it takes me a year.
277
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:43,678
- What do you think of that?
- I think that's a wonderful idea.
278
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,742
I gotta go to work
so I can bring home the bacon.
279
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,416
- And a porterhouse steak.
- Hey, I'm not kidding.
280
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:54,482
You just watch your old man.
281
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,653
I need money for the milkman.
282
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,199
That's not enough.
283
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:10,468
That's all I have.
284
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:13,876
OK.
285
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,237
Bye, kids.
286
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,911
Bye.
287
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,946
How's Dad gonna fill the freezer
when he can't pay for milk?
288
00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:27,389
I have no idea, honey.
289
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,155
But at least he has a goal.
290
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:30,696
Now the moment is here
291
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,561
Now the moment is here
292
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:35,099
when Queen for A Day
makes your wish come true.
293
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,499
We're going to
the Everson-Jennings company
294
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,538
and order one of their sturdy,
folding wheelchairs.
295
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,039
There's a sample.
296
00:20:42,107 --> 00:20:44,200
- Mommy.
- Yes, honey?
297
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:49,540
Davey messed his diaper
and I tried to change him.
298
00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:52,049
Oh, show me.
299
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:57,413
Oh, Barbie.
300
00:20:57,489 --> 00:21:01,391
The trick is to hold the baby's legs up
while you take the diaper off.
301
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:04,896
- I got it on my hands.
- I know you did, sweetheart.
302
00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:07,488
OK, now, here we go. Follow me.
303
00:21:07,566 --> 00:21:10,729
All right, don't touch anything.
Oome on, Betsy, you too.
304
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:14,239
Let's wash your hands.
Yeah. Oome on, come on.
305
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,069
All right, everybody. Oome on.
306
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,140
OK, put your hands under the faucet.
307
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:30,048
- Milk delivery!
- Just a minute, I'll be right there.
308
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:33,553
Oome on. I've got deliveries to make.
309
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:35,658
Just a minute, please.
310
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:42,198
- I'm leaving.
- No, you aren't.
311
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,171
I'm on my way.
312
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:52,436
OK, girls. Stay in the kitchen
till I can clean this up.
313
00:21:56,748 --> 00:21:59,080
You know that I got a schedule to keep.
314
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,779
I know you do, Ray.
What a life you lead.
315
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:04,345
- Three dollars.
- I'm a little short this week.
316
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:05,549
Oan I owe you?
317
00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:08,286
I got three other families
on credit this week.
318
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:11,261
- You know I'm always good for it.
- I'm not a bank.
319
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,594
You could start charging interest.
320
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:15,428
Don't get smart with me.
321
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,935
- Smart people know their budget.
- Right.
322
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:20,494
That's why I don't have
a problem paying bills.
323
00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:22,563
Hello, Vernon.
Anything for me today?
324
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:25,804
You want something in life,
you got to pay for it.
325
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:27,675
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
326
00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:28,940
Hey, Ray.
327
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,641
Oh, hold on.
328
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:34,544
How do you like that?
329
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:37,851
I won two dollars in the poetry
contest for The Toledo Blade.
330
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:38,947
There you go.
331
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,961
There he goes.
332
00:22:49,768 --> 00:22:52,498
Yeah. You want the money?
333
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:56,007
I'm sorry I made such a mess, Mommy.
334
00:22:57,242 --> 00:22:59,642
Well, actually, honey,
335
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,509
if I had gotten
the door any sooner,
336
00:23:02,581 --> 00:23:06,108
then the milkman would have
left before the mailman arrived,
337
00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:09,381
and we wouldn't have had
any milk for our dinner tonight.
338
00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:11,479
So, there you go.
339
00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,354
It was all meant to be.
340
00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:24,159
This is what happens to one's literary
efforts once placed in the mailbox.
341
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:31,437
For the big contests, they go sailing
off to New York Oity to be judged.
342
00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:35,378
The average count
is a million and a half entries.
343
00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:38,780
A million and a half. Imagine that!
344
00:23:40,385 --> 00:23:45,345
Each entry is first checked to make sure
it's accompanied by proof of purchase.
345
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:48,222
You don't pay, you don't play.
346
00:23:48,293 --> 00:23:50,090
Next they go to the juniorjudges.
347
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:51,959
Oollege English majors, mind you,
348
00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:54,498
who are instructed
to eliminate the trite,
349
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:58,058
the obvious and the inept. Oh, dear.
350
00:23:58,136 --> 00:24:01,401
And so, the final judging begins.
351
00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:04,601
Every syllable of every word
is scrutinized and analyzed,
352
00:24:04,676 --> 00:24:08,077
the merits of each debated
until a few of the worthiest remain.
353
00:24:08,146 --> 00:24:11,877
The ballots are cast,
the points are added up
354
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:15,113
and the grand prize winner is declared.
355
00:24:24,096 --> 00:24:26,530
Oh, my gosh!
356
00:24:26,598 --> 00:24:30,591
- Mommy won a shopping spree!
- Oh, yeah?
357
00:24:30,669 --> 00:24:32,569
They time her as she runs in the store.
358
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:36,438
She can get whatever she wants.
She's gonna get us a bunch of candy...
359
00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:39,966
And fancy nuts.
I'm gonna eat a cashew.
360
00:24:40,779 --> 00:24:42,508
Oan you believe it?
361
00:24:42,581 --> 00:24:44,276
That's terrific, Mother.
362
00:24:44,349 --> 00:24:46,681
Now, I only get
ten minutes and one cart,
363
00:24:46,752 --> 00:24:49,949
so what I did was, I walked
to the market to plot my strategy.
364
00:24:50,022 --> 00:24:53,480
- Wait till you hear this.
- The carts are smaller than at the A&P.
365
00:24:53,558 --> 00:24:56,891
- Mom talked to the butcher.
- He's gonna wrap up bacon and ribs.
366
00:24:56,962 --> 00:25:01,126
- I can build up the cart that way.
- Sounds pretty clever.
367
00:25:01,199 --> 00:25:04,896
I asked him to set aside a prime rib,
a chateaubriand, what do you think?
368
00:25:04,970 --> 00:25:07,666
- We each get our own filet mignon.
- Absolutely.
369
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:09,730
Tuff, honey, would you set the table?
370
00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:12,777
I had filet mignon once.
It ain't that great.
371
00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:14,903
When have you started saying "ain't"?
372
00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:17,813
Get off your high horse.
It's a perfectly good word.
373
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:22,286
- Here.
- Oh, thank you.
374
00:25:22,888 --> 00:25:25,379
This is perfect.
I was gonna put on fish sticks,
375
00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:27,425
but now I can make sloppy joes.
376
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,055
Might as well cook it up now.
377
00:25:30,128 --> 00:25:34,030
Looks like hamburger's not gonna be
good enough for this family anymore.
378
00:25:34,099 --> 00:25:37,034
Oh, of course it is.
Itjust won't be the only thing we know.
379
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:40,037
I asked the kids to make a list
of what they want me to grab.
380
00:25:40,105 --> 00:25:44,041
- What would you like?
- Don't waste any space on me.
381
00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:47,875
Oh, now stop. Think.
What have you always wanted to try?
382
00:25:47,946 --> 00:25:49,880
- I don't know.
- Sure you do.
383
00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:55,583
Shrimp cocktail.
384
00:25:55,654 --> 00:25:59,055
The kind they have in those little jars.
385
00:25:59,124 --> 00:26:02,890
I like the way they look,
kind of elegant.
386
00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:05,688
I always wanted one of those.
387
00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:07,789
You shall have it.
388
00:26:11,369 --> 00:26:12,996
Thank you, Mother.
389
00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:19,810
Proud of the old lady.
390
00:26:36,027 --> 00:26:38,427
- But I think you should...
- Oh, no.
391
00:26:43,902 --> 00:26:45,563
Are all these kids yours?
392
00:26:46,872 --> 00:26:49,739
- Hi, Mom.
- Yes. If it's all right,
393
00:26:49,808 --> 00:26:53,175
they were going to call out the time
so I could stay on schedule.
394
00:26:53,245 --> 00:26:55,805
Oh, I don't know.
395
00:26:57,215 --> 00:26:59,206
I don't see any problem with that.
396
00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:04,479
And any help you happen
to give Mrs. Ryan in filling her cart
397
00:27:04,556 --> 00:27:06,217
won't be seen by me.
398
00:27:08,326 --> 00:27:10,487
So, then, are you ready?
399
00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:11,893
Hold on.
400
00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:30,974
- Didn't like the way that sounded.
- Thank you.
401
00:27:33,285 --> 00:27:34,616
All set?
402
00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:38,154
Go!
403
00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:45,125
Go! Faster!
404
00:27:45,197 --> 00:27:46,892
- I think we should split up.
- OK.
405
00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:50,332
I'll take the frozen section,
you take the European food aisle.
406
00:27:50,402 --> 00:27:53,394
- What do you want, hon?
- Oh, caviar, expensive things.
407
00:27:53,471 --> 00:27:55,496
The good stuff, not the ordinary.
408
00:27:55,574 --> 00:27:57,098
Gotcha.
409
00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:58,699
Marge, go!
410
00:28:06,117 --> 00:28:09,086
Seven minutes to go!
411
00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:27,670
Three minutes. Oome on!
412
00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:43,312
One minute left!
413
00:28:45,490 --> 00:28:48,254
I got you some goose pate.
You ever had that?
414
00:28:48,326 --> 00:28:50,556
- No.
- Let me know what it's like.
415
00:28:50,629 --> 00:28:53,530
I got all the after-dinner mints,
the Swiss chocolate,
416
00:28:53,598 --> 00:28:56,726
two bags of English toffees
and a couple bags of coffee mints.
417
00:28:56,801 --> 00:28:59,326
Grab and move on. Where to?
418
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:01,099
- Produce!
- What for?
419
00:29:01,172 --> 00:29:03,538
Exotic, anything grown
in a foreign country.
420
00:29:03,608 --> 00:29:06,008
- Does Hawaii count?
- Yes.
421
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:08,307
Thirty seconds!
422
00:29:20,892 --> 00:29:22,189
Time!
423
00:29:34,205 --> 00:29:37,766
I got your shrimp cocktail!
I got your shrimp cocktail!
424
00:29:37,842 --> 00:29:40,333
That was... great.
425
00:29:41,179 --> 00:29:43,409
- We're gonna eat good tonight.
- Yep.
426
00:29:43,481 --> 00:29:45,915
Well done.
427
00:29:45,984 --> 00:29:49,147
Look at all this food
and candy and sugar and sweets!
428
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:51,279
And lobster!
429
00:29:56,861 --> 00:29:58,726
Let's see, what else?
430
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:01,265
Anybody want an artichoke heart?
431
00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,699
- What do you think?
- This is really good.
432
00:30:03,768 --> 00:30:06,794
- Here, try it.
- Yeah, they're really good.
433
00:30:06,871 --> 00:30:08,498
What's this?
434
00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:11,366
Litchi nuts from Ohina.
435
00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:13,502
- Oh, I see.
- What do they taste like?
436
00:30:13,578 --> 00:30:16,206
Go get the can opener
and let's try one.
437
00:30:16,715 --> 00:30:19,411
Litchi nuts, who the hell
would want to eat that?
438
00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:21,247
What are you looking for?
439
00:30:21,987 --> 00:30:24,319
I'm looking for hamburger.
440
00:30:24,389 --> 00:30:26,289
I have a steak all ready for you.
441
00:30:26,358 --> 00:30:29,452
I don't want steak.
I want hamburger.
442
00:30:32,764 --> 00:30:34,026
Oh, look at this.
443
00:30:34,099 --> 00:30:37,193
Hearts of palm, from a palm tree,
can you believe it?
444
00:30:38,803 --> 00:30:41,567
These are capers.
445
00:30:41,639 --> 00:30:43,732
They come from Spain.
446
00:30:44,242 --> 00:30:45,368
Try one.
447
00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:47,611
No, thank you.
448
00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:49,408
Oh, come on. It's an adventure.
449
00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:51,711
But they're green and yicky.
450
00:30:53,752 --> 00:30:55,879
Please put that food
back in the freezer.
451
00:30:55,954 --> 00:30:57,888
I don't want everything to thaw.
452
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:14,263
Oapers, my ass.
453
00:31:16,574 --> 00:31:20,066
I think it's time we tried some caviar.
454
00:31:20,145 --> 00:31:21,737
Now...
455
00:31:21,813 --> 00:31:25,510
...caviar is one...
456
00:31:25,583 --> 00:31:29,280
...of the finest delicacies...
457
00:31:29,354 --> 00:31:30,946
...in...
458
00:31:31,756 --> 00:31:34,316
...the Western world.
459
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:37,384
It comes from Russia.
460
00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:41,023
And we are about to become...
461
00:31:41,099 --> 00:31:44,500
...the very first Ryans...
462
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:46,332
...to ever taste it.
463
00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:48,395
- What is it?
- Fish eggs.
464
00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:50,941
Dick, Bub, Rog,
would you like to try it?
465
00:31:51,009 --> 00:31:53,910
- No, I'll stick with coconut.
- No, thank you.
466
00:31:56,147 --> 00:31:59,583
- Tuff?
- No, thanks.
467
00:32:00,685 --> 00:32:04,644
Do you know that U.S. Army research
has shown a relationship
468
00:32:04,722 --> 00:32:09,557
between intelligence and a willingness
to eat unfamiliar foods?
469
00:32:11,496 --> 00:32:14,124
Are those really fish eggs?
470
00:32:17,535 --> 00:32:19,526
I just can't.
471
00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:22,505
Oh, well. More for me then.
472
00:32:41,559 --> 00:32:43,288
It's marvelous.
473
00:32:53,872 --> 00:32:57,103
Oh, my goodness.
474
00:32:58,143 --> 00:32:59,804
My sweet goodness.
475
00:33:01,679 --> 00:33:03,112
How is your supper?
476
00:33:17,228 --> 00:33:18,695
Not very good.
477
00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:25,059
Your shrimp cocktail is in the fridge.
478
00:33:33,945 --> 00:33:37,346
They say it's good if you
squeeze a little lemon on top.
479
00:33:42,887 --> 00:33:44,514
Thank you, Mother.
480
00:33:44,989 --> 00:33:46,786
Enjoy it, Dad.
481
00:33:47,725 --> 00:33:50,956
All right, what will we open next?
482
00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:53,862
Anybody here like lobster?
483
00:33:54,966 --> 00:33:57,196
We'll try a little of that.
484
00:33:57,268 --> 00:33:59,293
And... what else do we have?
485
00:33:59,370 --> 00:34:02,771
We have some button mushrooms...
486
00:34:03,575 --> 00:34:05,941
Oome on over here.
Sit down with us.
487
00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:08,339
Let's see, what else do we have?
488
00:34:08,413 --> 00:34:11,109
An artichoke heart,
want an artichoke heart?
489
00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:13,514
- Sure.
- Very good.
490
00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:15,985
Oome on. You can share my seat.
491
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,544
Sit down.
492
00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:19,954
Oh, yeah. Look at those little pickles.
493
00:34:20,024 --> 00:34:21,321
Look at that.
494
00:34:21,392 --> 00:34:24,884
Dad, you gotta try this. It's amazing.
495
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:27,898
Should I open the sardines?
Who's gonna eat those?
496
00:34:27,966 --> 00:34:29,957
- I won't.
- All right, these are mine.
497
00:34:30,034 --> 00:34:32,901
Let's see, what else do we have here?
498
00:34:32,971 --> 00:34:36,304
- Oan I try this?
- Do try it. It's just delicious.
499
00:34:36,374 --> 00:34:38,035
Put it on the little cracker.
500
00:34:38,109 --> 00:34:39,804
- These are good.
- Aren't they?
501
00:34:40,311 --> 00:34:42,711
Are you sick of candy yet, honey?
502
00:34:43,314 --> 00:34:45,748
- No, I will never be sick of candy.
- Not yet.
503
00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:48,377
- It's good.
- Yes, I know.
504
00:34:48,453 --> 00:34:50,080
That one's mine.
505
00:34:50,154 --> 00:34:53,248
What about these little white thingies?
506
00:34:53,324 --> 00:34:56,589
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- This stuff isn't too cracked.
507
00:34:57,729 --> 00:35:00,493
- Mom, it's yesterday's paper.
- Oh, throw that out.
508
00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:10,130
For the next four years I would win
a steady stream of small prizes
509
00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:12,676
that would keep us functioning,
never flush.
510
00:35:12,744 --> 00:35:16,305
I won two ice buckets,
ten pairs of galoshes,
511
00:35:16,381 --> 00:35:19,748
one sled, which arrived
just in time, I might add,
512
00:35:19,817 --> 00:35:23,082
fifteen ice crushers,
a case of dog food,
513
00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:26,055
a pair of Arthur Murray dancing shoes,
514
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:27,921
a Brownie camera,
515
00:35:29,394 --> 00:35:31,589
one free window installation,
516
00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:34,131
an outboard motor,
517
00:35:34,198 --> 00:35:35,927
eight pogo sticks,
518
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,766
a palm tree, which promptly died,
519
00:35:39,837 --> 00:35:42,032
a lifetime supply of bird seed...
520
00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:46,709
...and a pony,
521
00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:50,414
which we had to sell
to pay the electric bill.
522
00:36:07,865 --> 00:36:09,958
In the meantime, my eldest, Lea Anne,
523
00:36:10,034 --> 00:36:12,002
left home to go to nursing school.
524
00:36:12,070 --> 00:36:15,938
"Travel handsome, travel light.
Travel always with Samsonite."
525
00:36:18,276 --> 00:36:19,800
And my sons, Dick and Bub,
526
00:36:19,877 --> 00:36:22,345
both got signed to play
with the Detroit Tigers.
527
00:36:22,413 --> 00:36:24,347
How do you like that?
528
00:36:29,420 --> 00:36:32,912
So far, three of my chicks
have found their wings
529
00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:35,356
and I am so very proud of them.
530
00:36:37,095 --> 00:36:39,154
That is where my prayers went.
531
00:36:40,298 --> 00:36:42,198
That's where they all went.
532
00:36:43,568 --> 00:36:43,668
Give a little back.
533
00:36:43,668 --> 00:36:45,761
Give a little back.
534
00:36:45,837 --> 00:36:47,998
Let me get serious.
It's for a good cause.
535
00:36:48,072 --> 00:36:50,006
You know why they left?
536
00:36:51,509 --> 00:36:53,739
'Oause we live in a hole.
537
00:36:54,712 --> 00:36:56,475
A hole without a ladder.
538
00:36:57,582 --> 00:36:59,379
I like Beech-Nut so much,
539
00:36:59,450 --> 00:37:01,680
I'm going to help them
sponsor a contest.
540
00:37:01,753 --> 00:37:05,553
With the folks out there,
they can win all kinds of big prizes.
541
00:37:05,623 --> 00:37:09,150
- Do you want your notebook?
- Yes, thank you.
542
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:12,458
You want to know
who dug that hole? I did.
543
00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:15,294
Holy moley.
Are you gonna eat that, Jerry?
544
00:37:15,366 --> 00:37:17,300
Nope, but I'm gonna sing about it.
545
00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:20,064
And the folks out there
are gonna fill in the words.
546
00:37:20,138 --> 00:37:21,696
Well, all right.
547
00:37:21,773 --> 00:37:24,071
It's my dum-dee-dum-dee-dum
548
00:37:24,142 --> 00:37:26,872
Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum sandwich
549
00:37:28,679 --> 00:37:30,237
Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum
550
00:37:30,314 --> 00:37:33,977
Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum sandwich
551
00:37:34,051 --> 00:37:35,848
Hole in the ground
552
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:39,083
Don't make a sound sandwich
553
00:37:40,191 --> 00:37:41,954
My stuff it in the mouth
554
00:37:42,026 --> 00:37:45,257
Ohomp and swallow south sandwich
555
00:37:45,329 --> 00:37:48,059
- That's a good one, Mom.
- You can have it.
556
00:37:48,132 --> 00:37:53,160
I'm jerk and a dope
and I ain't got a hope sandwich.
557
00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:55,872
My back the deli truck
558
00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:58,841
To the lips and suck sandwich
559
00:37:59,844 --> 00:38:01,573
I'm a moron and a mutt
560
00:38:01,646 --> 00:38:04,342
And I made you a nut sandwich
561
00:38:04,415 --> 00:38:05,712
Good one, Dad.
562
00:38:05,783 --> 00:38:07,808
I'm a chump in a slump
563
00:38:07,885 --> 00:38:11,013
And I live in a dump sandwich
564
00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:13,556
My frisk the Frigidaire
565
00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:16,457
Olean the cupboards bare sandwich
566
00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:21,223
- Are you listening to me?
- Yes, I'm listening.
567
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:24,632
- You know what your problem is?
- No, I don't.
568
00:38:24,702 --> 00:38:27,170
You're too damn happy.
569
00:38:37,648 --> 00:38:41,140
How do you come up with these things?
570
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,988
I don't know. They just...
come to me, I guess.
571
00:38:48,059 --> 00:38:50,994
That was really funny.
572
00:39:00,705 --> 00:39:03,333
- Hey, kids.
- Hi, Daddy.
573
00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:08,300
- You're home early.
- I don't feel so hot.
574
00:39:08,379 --> 00:39:10,040
My head hurts.
575
00:39:10,114 --> 00:39:12,378
Did they pay you for the full day?
576
00:39:12,450 --> 00:39:14,350
I don't know. I didn't ask.
577
00:39:14,886 --> 00:39:16,945
I felt so lousy
I had to get out of there.
578
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:18,682
Milk delivery!
579
00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:21,748
I'm glad you're here.
I need four dollars for the milkman.
580
00:39:21,826 --> 00:39:24,226
What's he showing up
so late in the day for?
581
00:39:24,295 --> 00:39:26,661
I don't know.
What difference does it make?
582
00:39:26,731 --> 00:39:28,824
What happened
to the money I gave you?
583
00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:31,767
What do you think happened?
I used it to pay the bills.
584
00:39:31,836 --> 00:39:34,669
- I'm leaving.
- I'll be right there.
585
00:39:34,739 --> 00:39:37,367
We're out of milk,
would you please give me money?
586
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,182
I don't have any.
587
00:39:45,249 --> 00:39:48,218
Of course you don't.
It's all in those bottles.
588
00:39:54,825 --> 00:39:58,659
- I'm sorry. I'll have to owe you.
- I'm not going to leave the milk.
589
00:39:58,729 --> 00:40:02,028
- I always pay you back.
- That's not the point, is it?
590
00:40:02,099 --> 00:40:05,535
Listen, I'm not a rich man,
but I never owed anyone anything.
591
00:40:05,603 --> 00:40:07,332
You're a better person than I am.
592
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:10,499
We're in the same boat.
But I am not going to do the paddling
593
00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:13,043
while you sit back
with your hand in the water.
594
00:40:14,178 --> 00:40:16,373
You're absolutely right.
595
00:40:16,447 --> 00:40:18,938
But my children need milk.
596
00:40:19,016 --> 00:40:20,643
Please don't make them suffer
597
00:40:20,718 --> 00:40:23,653
because I am delinquent
in my payments.
598
00:40:23,721 --> 00:40:25,052
Please.
599
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:30,352
If you don't pay me next week
I'm cutting you off my route.
600
00:40:31,295 --> 00:40:32,956
I understand.
601
00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:35,393
Thank you.
602
00:40:40,705 --> 00:40:43,173
- That was pleasant.
- Hey.
603
00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,071
You think money grows on trees?
604
00:40:45,142 --> 00:40:48,270
I work my ass off in that
stinking sweatshop all day long.
605
00:40:48,346 --> 00:40:51,042
- You get to do whatever you want.
- Whatever I want?
606
00:40:51,115 --> 00:40:53,640
Sit around writing
in your stupid notebooks.
607
00:40:53,718 --> 00:40:57,779
Those notebooks are the only reason
this family isn't living on the street.
608
00:40:57,855 --> 00:41:00,153
Do you want to trade places with me?
609
00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:06,695
- Mommy!
- Jesus!
610
00:41:06,764 --> 00:41:09,733
- What was that?
- What happened?
611
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,199
Oh, Jesus! She slipped.
612
00:41:11,268 --> 00:41:13,964
- Daddy was yelling at her.
- What did you do to her?
613
00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:15,562
It was an accident!
614
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,335
I wouldn't hurt your mother!
615
00:41:17,408 --> 00:41:19,899
I think somebody
should get Mrs. Bidlack.
616
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,569
We don't need Mrs. Bidlack.
617
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:25,207
Get away from the glass.
Would somebody please help me up?
618
00:41:25,282 --> 00:41:28,080
Sweet Ohrist, Mother.
619
00:41:28,152 --> 00:41:30,552
- Would somebody help me up?
- Stay back.
620
00:41:32,823 --> 00:41:34,654
For goodness sakes, just move.
621
00:41:40,164 --> 00:41:42,928
Hold on. I'll take you to the hospital.
Let me get my...
622
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,195
No, you are not!
You almost killed her!
623
00:41:45,269 --> 00:41:46,861
I didn't do anything! I swear!
624
00:41:46,937 --> 00:41:48,837
I think it's best
if you just stay put.
625
00:41:48,906 --> 00:41:50,965
Oh, my God!
My sweet God! What...?
626
00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:54,307
Would you get a towel
so I don't make a mess in the car?
627
00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:57,108
- I'll get it.
- Where's my purse?
628
00:41:57,181 --> 00:42:00,708
- Would you like me to call the police?
- That won't be necessary.
629
00:42:00,785 --> 00:42:03,185
- Here.
- Honey, could you hook it over my arm?
630
00:42:03,254 --> 00:42:04,414
Thank you.
631
00:42:04,488 --> 00:42:06,251
- Here, Mother.
- For Pete's sake.
632
00:42:06,323 --> 00:42:08,553
What am I supposed to do with that?
633
00:42:08,626 --> 00:42:11,595
If you wouldn't mind mopping
so it doesn't warp the wood,
634
00:42:11,662 --> 00:42:13,926
I'll go over the rest of it later.
635
00:42:13,998 --> 00:42:17,490
- I'll take your mother to the hospital.
- I'm all right.
636
00:42:17,568 --> 00:42:19,433
- You know the worst part?
- What?
637
00:42:19,503 --> 00:42:21,903
A quart of milk got sucked up
inside my girdle.
638
00:42:21,972 --> 00:42:23,667
Oh, my dear.
639
00:42:23,741 --> 00:42:27,905
- Please don't die, Mommy.
- It was an accident.
640
00:42:29,513 --> 00:42:31,743
Everything all right in there?
641
00:42:40,624 --> 00:42:40,691
The question is...
642
00:42:40,691 --> 00:42:42,716
The question is...
643
00:42:42,793 --> 00:42:45,557
This is a presidential election year.
644
00:42:45,629 --> 00:42:50,066
If a qualified woman
were running for president,
645
00:42:50,134 --> 00:42:53,035
how would you feel about voting for her
646
00:42:53,104 --> 00:42:54,366
and why.
647
00:42:54,438 --> 00:42:57,236
If the men candidates were qualified,
648
00:42:57,308 --> 00:42:59,970
I feel I would vote against her.
649
00:43:00,044 --> 00:43:03,502
My reasons being
that women are very high-strung
650
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:05,173
and emotional people.
651
00:43:05,249 --> 00:43:07,342
They aren't knowledgeable enough...
652
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:10,546
- Mom!
- Here we go, special delivery.
653
00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:15,354
- Oh, we missed you so much.
- Be careful of her.
654
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,326
I'm not that fragile.
655
00:43:17,394 --> 00:43:19,021
Thank you for taking me.
656
00:43:20,397 --> 00:43:22,297
- Any time.
- See, it's not so bad.
657
00:43:22,366 --> 00:43:24,527
Hello, Mother. How's it going?
658
00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,797
Well, I got lucky.
659
00:43:26,871 --> 00:43:30,466
Doctor said I was half an inch away
from severing a ligament.
660
00:43:30,541 --> 00:43:33,374
Oh, see, kids.
Your mother's as good as new.
661
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:37,073
I have dinner set, here's a cup of tea.
Why don't you sit down?
662
00:43:37,148 --> 00:43:39,981
First thing I'd like to do
is take off this wet girdle,
663
00:43:40,050 --> 00:43:42,712
if you could help me,
I can't use my hands just yet.
664
00:43:42,787 --> 00:43:46,018
OK. Go on, kids,
supper's on the table.
665
00:43:46,090 --> 00:43:48,957
- Are you OK?
- I'm fine, sweetheart.
666
00:43:49,026 --> 00:43:50,960
'Oourse she's OK.
667
00:43:52,229 --> 00:43:55,562
It's all right, boys.
Go ahead, get something to eat.
668
00:44:02,606 --> 00:44:05,040
I think what...
669
00:44:05,109 --> 00:44:08,601
...hurt more than anything was
the dig you made about my contesting.
670
00:44:11,882 --> 00:44:14,976
You know, I couldn't be prouder of you.
671
00:44:15,052 --> 00:44:16,883
You know that?
672
00:44:16,954 --> 00:44:19,684
It's just... the thing is...
673
00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:22,789
...the guys at the shop...
674
00:44:23,794 --> 00:44:26,319
Anytime you win something, it's...
675
00:44:26,397 --> 00:44:29,195
..."Oh, we know
who the breadwinner is."
676
00:44:29,266 --> 00:44:30,733
- It ain't me.
- Goodness.
677
00:44:30,801 --> 00:44:33,929
They're justjealous.
Why do you even listen to them?
678
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:40,409
All I want in this world
is to make you happy.
679
00:44:43,214 --> 00:44:45,808
I don't need you to make me happy.
680
00:44:45,883 --> 00:44:49,375
I just need you to
leave me alone when I am.
681
00:45:04,835 --> 00:45:07,861
Spilled milk? Don't cry.
682
00:45:07,938 --> 00:45:11,704
Unless, of course, it's hip high.
683
00:45:12,676 --> 00:45:15,736
I don't cry over milk,
spilled or otherwise.
684
00:45:15,813 --> 00:45:19,249
I just wish I had spilled
a smaller other size.
685
00:45:21,118 --> 00:45:23,177
Spilled milk can't be poured,
686
00:45:23,254 --> 00:45:25,245
if it's spreadin' 'cross the floor.
687
00:45:25,322 --> 00:45:27,654
But no need for tears or sorrow.
688
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:30,717
There's always more to spill tomorrow.
689
00:45:52,683 --> 00:45:54,344
- Hello?
- Hello.
690
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:58,013
I'm calling on behalf of Beech-Nut Gum
"Name That Sandwich" contest.
691
00:45:58,088 --> 00:46:00,022
May I speak to Mr. Bruce Ryan?
692
00:46:00,090 --> 00:46:01,887
Yes, hold on one moment, please.
693
00:46:01,959 --> 00:46:03,358
Bruce!
694
00:46:03,427 --> 00:46:05,793
My frisk the Frigidaire
695
00:46:05,863 --> 00:46:08,354
Olean the cupboards bare sandwich
696
00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:10,525
Oh, baby
697
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:13,069
You have won a Triumph TR3 sports car
698
00:46:13,137 --> 00:46:16,766
and an all expenses paid
weekend trip to New York Oity
699
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,364
for you and one parent.
700
00:46:18,442 --> 00:46:21,104
- Oan I bring my mom?
- You sure can, son.
701
00:46:25,149 --> 00:46:27,640
Everyone move in a little.
702
00:46:29,119 --> 00:46:30,746
Enjoy that car.
703
00:46:38,062 --> 00:46:42,328
I think my church dress will do
for our dinner at Sardi's.
704
00:46:42,399 --> 00:46:46,301
But for sightseeing, I'm gonna
need something a little more casual.
705
00:46:46,370 --> 00:46:48,736
Mom, there's a man
on the phone about Rog.
706
00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:51,866
My goodness.
Don't tell me he won something too.
707
00:47:01,185 --> 00:47:03,278
I only took a few dollars
from the purse.
708
00:47:03,354 --> 00:47:07,154
I put the wallet back so she wouldn't
miss her driver's license or nothing.
709
00:47:07,224 --> 00:47:08,714
Stealing is stealing.
710
00:47:08,792 --> 00:47:11,454
Don't you dare try to justify it.
Don't you dare!
711
00:47:12,229 --> 00:47:13,491
Sorry, Mom.
712
00:47:15,566 --> 00:47:17,295
Do we have to tell Dad?
713
00:47:18,135 --> 00:47:20,160
You thieving little bastard!
714
00:47:20,871 --> 00:47:24,398
- Get back here!
- Stop! Oalm down.
715
00:47:24,475 --> 00:47:27,103
He's a criminal
and he won't get away with it.
716
00:47:27,544 --> 00:47:29,512
Next time you set foot in this house,
717
00:47:29,580 --> 00:47:31,775
I'll teach you a lesson
you won't forget!
718
00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:35,012
Mommy, please.
719
00:47:35,085 --> 00:47:37,315
Don't go to New York Oity.
720
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,906
I'm sorry you didn't
get to go to New York.
721
00:48:00,277 --> 00:48:02,837
Let's just get you
through this next week.
722
00:48:04,214 --> 00:48:06,341
I talked to a friend of mine.
723
00:48:06,417 --> 00:48:08,510
He said the judge
gives guys a choice
724
00:48:08,585 --> 00:48:10,382
between jail and joining the Army.
725
00:48:10,454 --> 00:48:13,389
The Army wouldn't be too bad, would it?
726
00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:16,352
No.
727
00:48:16,427 --> 00:48:19,021
At least you'd learn
how to make your bed.
728
00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:32,368
I wonder what it would
be like to drive this thing.
729
00:48:32,443 --> 00:48:35,241
- You want me to teach you?
- No.
730
00:48:35,312 --> 00:48:37,507
Then I couldn't bear to sell it.
731
00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:39,776
Want me to teach you
how to drive Dad's car?
732
00:48:39,850 --> 00:48:41,147
Better not.
733
00:48:41,218 --> 00:48:44,449
Not enough gas in this world
for all the places I'd like to go.
734
00:48:47,791 --> 00:48:50,692
Go inside and eat your dinner.
It's on the table.
735
00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:13,173
Hi, Mr. Quigley.
736
00:49:13,584 --> 00:49:15,313
Lady friend's writin' ya.
737
00:49:15,919 --> 00:49:17,614
I don't have a lady friend.
738
00:49:17,688 --> 00:49:19,417
Give it time.
739
00:49:19,890 --> 00:49:22,723
- I'm gonna tickle you.
- Oareful, it's slippery.
740
00:49:23,327 --> 00:49:24,817
Mom, I think this is for you.
741
00:49:24,895 --> 00:49:26,920
Oh, thank you, Bruce.
742
00:49:31,602 --> 00:49:33,126
Dear Bruce,
743
00:49:33,203 --> 00:49:35,467
I saw your name on
the Beech-Nut win list.
744
00:49:35,539 --> 00:49:37,166
Well, what do you know?
745
00:49:37,241 --> 00:49:41,337
My daughter, Mary Kay,
who's also 16, won second prize.
746
00:49:41,411 --> 00:49:44,039
Gee, what clever kids
your mother and I have.
747
00:49:44,114 --> 00:49:46,309
Watch it!
748
00:49:46,383 --> 00:49:50,012
I live in Payne, Ohio,
just 85 miles away from you
749
00:49:50,087 --> 00:49:54,080
and I'm part of a group of
contesting gals called the Affadaisies.
750
00:49:54,158 --> 00:49:57,889
This is probably not of interest
to a strapping teenage boy as yourself,
751
00:49:57,961 --> 00:50:00,293
but perhaps your mother
would like to join us.
752
00:50:00,364 --> 00:50:02,662
I don't care who did it,
just clean it up!
753
00:50:02,733 --> 00:50:05,463
Well, gotta go before
the house comes down.
754
00:50:05,536 --> 00:50:07,333
Hope we hear from one of you soon.
755
00:50:07,404 --> 00:50:10,373
Sincerely, Dortha Schaefer.
756
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,068
PS. Since they don't
publish the winning entries,
757
00:50:13,143 --> 00:50:14,906
I'd love to know what yours was.
758
00:50:14,978 --> 00:50:17,879
Here's mine, my daughter's, that is:
759
00:50:17,948 --> 00:50:20,314
My stack it thick and quick
760
00:50:20,384 --> 00:50:22,978
Snack until I'm sick sandwich
761
00:50:25,856 --> 00:50:28,347
Dear Dortha, I love your entry.
762
00:50:28,425 --> 00:50:31,292
You have a true gift
for inner rhyme and alliteration.
763
00:50:31,361 --> 00:50:36,094
I was particularly impressed by your
cross-rhyming with "stack" and "snack."
764
00:50:36,166 --> 00:50:38,066
Here's my entry, for what it's worth:
765
00:50:38,135 --> 00:50:40,228
My frisk the Frigidaire
766
00:50:40,304 --> 00:50:42,738
Olean the cupboards bare sandwich
767
00:50:45,609 --> 00:50:49,272
Dear Evelyn,
those judges judged right.
768
00:50:49,346 --> 00:50:51,405
No wonder I came in second.
769
00:50:51,481 --> 00:50:54,507
Talk about a gift for imagery.
You have it, gal.
770
00:50:54,585 --> 00:50:57,486
And you must come to my house
for an Affadaisies meeting.
771
00:50:57,554 --> 00:51:00,216
We've got the cr�me de la cr�me
of contesters.
772
00:51:00,290 --> 00:51:03,691
Gladys Tierney,
she is smart as a whip
773
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:07,127
and won two cars in the
Stay-Puft his and hers contest.
774
00:51:07,197 --> 00:51:09,631
Then there's Betty Yearling
and Betty White.
775
00:51:09,700 --> 00:51:11,327
Oooks extraordinaire.
776
00:51:11,401 --> 00:51:15,838
Betty Y. Is a Pillsbury bake-off winner
with her famous party pork barbeque.
777
00:51:15,906 --> 00:51:18,841
Betty W. Won first place
in the Midwest kitchen cook-off
778
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:21,776
with her double delight strawberry cake.
779
00:51:21,845 --> 00:51:24,313
And Emma Hartzler,
who's won three fridges
780
00:51:24,381 --> 00:51:27,282
and matching stoves
and a trip to Hawaii.
781
00:51:27,351 --> 00:51:29,546
All from her iron lung.
782
00:51:29,620 --> 00:51:32,646
Kleenex is so handy,
I use it every day.
783
00:51:32,723 --> 00:51:36,090
Oost so little, helps so much,
784
00:51:36,159 --> 00:51:38,855
just blow, then throw away.
785
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:40,453
Now, listen, Evelyn Ryan.
786
00:51:40,530 --> 00:51:43,931
You are the most notable of us all
and you must be at my house
787
00:51:44,001 --> 00:51:46,561
in two weeks for the first meeting
of the spring.
788
00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:48,036
No excuses.
789
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:50,938
Now strap on those wings
and fly on over here.
790
00:51:59,730 --> 00:52:03,427
Do you remember that group
of contesters I told you about?
791
00:52:04,101 --> 00:52:06,262
They've invited me to their meeting.
792
00:52:08,172 --> 00:52:10,470
- Where is it?
- Over in Payne.
793
00:52:11,542 --> 00:52:14,170
- Payne's a long way.
- It's only 85 miles.
794
00:52:14,245 --> 00:52:16,372
Yeah, but it still takes gas.
795
00:52:17,114 --> 00:52:21,107
I gotta drive to work,
drive you to the grocery store,
796
00:52:21,752 --> 00:52:23,549
drive the garbage to the dump...
797
00:52:24,455 --> 00:52:27,424
How much do you think I'm left
with at the end of the week?
798
00:52:27,491 --> 00:52:29,789
In fact, I had to enter a football pool
799
00:52:29,860 --> 00:52:32,727
at the gas station just
to win myself some extra fuel.
800
00:52:32,797 --> 00:52:36,255
- You're contesting?
- Yeah.
801
00:52:36,333 --> 00:52:38,767
- Why not?
- You need any hints?
802
00:52:39,270 --> 00:52:41,238
I know how to do a pool.
803
00:52:41,839 --> 00:52:45,570
Well, if you win, you'd have
enough gas to drive me to Payne.
804
00:52:46,844 --> 00:52:49,574
I can'tjust sit in the car
805
00:52:49,647 --> 00:52:52,616
while you gab
with a bunch ofjingle writers
806
00:52:52,683 --> 00:52:54,913
and forget I'm even there.
807
00:52:56,020 --> 00:52:58,989
My Saturdays are precious to me.
808
00:52:59,056 --> 00:53:01,456
Well, all right. I won't ask again.
809
00:53:12,336 --> 00:53:15,237
- That was my entry.
- No, it wasn't. It was mine.
810
00:53:15,306 --> 00:53:18,139
Mom, I won 25 gallons
of gas today in a football pool.
811
00:53:18,209 --> 00:53:21,303
- He didn't win. That was my entry.
- I used Barb's name.
812
00:53:21,378 --> 00:53:24,575
- Barb Ryan was the one that won.
- That was my Barb Ryan.
813
00:53:24,648 --> 00:53:26,673
- I had dibs on her name first.
- Says who?
814
00:53:26,751 --> 00:53:29,151
We made an agreement.
I got Barb, Tuff and Mike.
815
00:53:29,220 --> 00:53:31,916
- I never said you could use my name.
- Don't get smart.
816
00:53:31,989 --> 00:53:34,981
- Did you write this down?
- It was a gentlemen's agreement.
817
00:53:35,059 --> 00:53:36,583
You'll have to split the gas.
818
00:53:36,660 --> 00:53:38,855
He didn't know
about the contest until...
819
00:53:38,929 --> 00:53:41,124
What are you talking about? I told you!
820
00:53:41,198 --> 00:53:43,063
Split the gas.
821
00:53:46,604 --> 00:53:48,595
Oh, for Ohrist's sake.
822
00:53:53,811 --> 00:53:58,009
- I hope you were telling the truth.
- Honest, Dad's just a sore loser.
823
00:53:58,082 --> 00:54:00,209
All right. I'd like to ask you a favor.
824
00:54:00,284 --> 00:54:02,878
I want to go somewhere.
825
00:54:02,953 --> 00:54:04,352
Would you drive me?
826
00:54:05,222 --> 00:54:07,816
Sure, Mom. I'll take you
anywhere you want to go.
827
00:54:07,892 --> 00:54:10,326
Thank you.
828
00:54:11,929 --> 00:54:16,593
There's tuna fish for sandwiches
and you'll find coleslaw in the fridge.
829
00:54:16,667 --> 00:54:19,431
- What are you doing?
- Just checking the radiator.
830
00:54:19,503 --> 00:54:21,596
Oome on, Dad.
We're ready to go.
831
00:54:21,672 --> 00:54:24,038
And if your father
decides to make his chili,
832
00:54:24,108 --> 00:54:25,837
make sure he doesn't burn the pot.
833
00:54:25,910 --> 00:54:27,673
Right. Yeah, I got it.
834
00:54:27,745 --> 00:54:29,975
Plenty of water, oil's fine.
835
00:54:30,848 --> 00:54:32,247
Watch the clutch.
836
00:54:32,316 --> 00:54:35,717
- I know, Pop.
- Get your mother back in one piece.
837
00:54:37,154 --> 00:54:38,883
Bye.
838
00:54:42,827 --> 00:54:44,692
Bye, Mom.
839
00:54:44,762 --> 00:54:47,731
- Bye, sweetie.
- Have fun.
840
00:54:47,798 --> 00:54:49,595
- Thank you.
- Mommy, wait.
841
00:54:49,667 --> 00:54:52,795
- What is it?
- I got a surprise for you.
842
00:54:52,870 --> 00:54:55,031
You did? Show me.
843
00:54:58,809 --> 00:55:03,269
Oh, honey.
Where did you get these?
844
00:55:03,347 --> 00:55:06,976
They grow all over.
I got them from Mrs. Bidlack's yard,
845
00:55:07,051 --> 00:55:10,578
and Mrs. Zitfeld's, and Mrs. Zamone.
846
00:55:10,654 --> 00:55:13,122
Oripes' sakes,
what did you go and go that for?
847
00:55:13,524 --> 00:55:17,324
Jesus. Sorry, Mother.
I'm not good with that woman.
848
00:55:20,965 --> 00:55:24,059
- Turn off the motor.
- Oh, brother.
849
00:55:26,437 --> 00:55:28,268
Oh, my God. My sweet God.
850
00:55:28,339 --> 00:55:29,897
Did you see what your boy did?
851
00:55:29,974 --> 00:55:31,805
I am so sorry.
852
00:55:31,876 --> 00:55:34,936
- Why would you do that?
- He didn't know it was wrong.
853
00:55:35,012 --> 00:55:38,311
He's just a little boy.
Tell me what I can do to make it better.
854
00:55:38,382 --> 00:55:42,478
There is nothing. Do you know how long
I've waited for those tulips to bud?
855
00:55:42,553 --> 00:55:44,987
Tell me what they cost,
I'll reimburse you.
856
00:55:45,055 --> 00:55:48,752
- $40 worth of bulbs.
- Mom, are we going or not?
857
00:55:48,826 --> 00:55:51,454
No, honey, I'm afraid the trip is off.
858
00:55:51,528 --> 00:55:54,691
My gas is already in Dad's car.
How am I going to get that out?
859
00:55:54,765 --> 00:55:58,428
Tell him to use his half now
and you'll use your half later.
860
00:55:58,502 --> 00:56:01,437
I didn't know it was bad.
861
00:56:01,505 --> 00:56:03,598
I thought they were beautiful.
862
00:56:03,674 --> 00:56:06,165
They are beautiful.
863
00:56:06,243 --> 00:56:08,905
They truly are.
864
00:56:10,047 --> 00:56:12,015
All right.
865
00:56:12,783 --> 00:56:15,343
Now let's go make amends.
866
00:56:15,419 --> 00:56:16,886
Good boy.
867
00:56:42,613 --> 00:56:44,308
Give it gas.
868
00:56:49,253 --> 00:56:52,222
OK, put it in first and try again.
869
00:56:56,260 --> 00:56:58,387
Nice and easy.
870
00:57:00,431 --> 00:57:01,898
What are you doing?
871
00:57:01,966 --> 00:57:04,867
- Stop yelling.
- I'm not yelling. You're not listening.
872
00:57:04,935 --> 00:57:07,836
Evelyn, we are all thrilled
and elated to hear
873
00:57:07,905 --> 00:57:10,032
that daughter Tuff
has learned to drive
874
00:57:10,107 --> 00:57:12,405
and she'll be
delivering you to us, at last.
875
00:57:12,476 --> 00:57:15,411
We've moved our meetings
to Emma's in Goshen, Indiana,
876
00:57:15,479 --> 00:57:17,447
which is 100 miles from where you are.
877
00:57:17,514 --> 00:57:19,209
Sorry it's such a hike.
878
00:57:19,283 --> 00:57:22,377
But our gal is eager
to show off her new summer outfit.
879
00:57:22,453 --> 00:57:25,320
Evelyn, I await your arrival...
880
00:57:26,857 --> 00:57:28,722
...with bated breath.
881
00:57:28,792 --> 00:57:30,384
There's bologna for lunch.
882
00:57:30,461 --> 00:57:33,225
If I'm not back for dinner,
heat up some fish sticks,
883
00:57:33,297 --> 00:57:34,924
there's Jell-O in the fridge.
884
00:57:34,999 --> 00:57:37,194
- Yep.
- Mom, we should probably get going.
885
00:57:37,267 --> 00:57:39,599
All right, off we go.
886
00:57:40,738 --> 00:57:43,002
- Don't overuse the brakes.
- You told me.
887
00:57:43,073 --> 00:57:45,507
- No speeding.
- This car barely goes over 40.
888
00:57:45,576 --> 00:57:49,410
- I want your mother back in one piece.
- That's enough.
889
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:51,573
Miss you already.
890
00:57:51,648 --> 00:57:53,809
- Bye, Mommy.
- Bye, Betsy.
891
00:57:53,884 --> 00:57:55,249
I love you.
892
00:57:56,487 --> 00:57:57,818
Bye, Davey.
893
00:57:58,655 --> 00:58:00,486
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Barb.
894
00:58:00,557 --> 00:58:03,583
- You have fun.
- Be good. Listen to your father.
895
00:58:03,660 --> 00:58:06,754
- Be good.
- Bye, Mommy. Bye, Tuff.
896
00:58:08,932 --> 00:58:12,493
More gas.
897
00:58:12,569 --> 00:58:14,298
Bye.
898
00:58:19,043 --> 00:58:21,603
Well, what do you
want to do now, kids?
899
00:58:26,784 --> 00:58:30,117
Defiance, a nice place to leave.
900
00:58:38,462 --> 00:58:41,556
Honey, you can drive
a little faster now.
901
00:59:06,457 --> 00:59:07,651
Oh, my goodness.
902
00:59:10,561 --> 00:59:12,791
We've crossed the state line.
903
00:59:13,630 --> 00:59:15,928
Doesn't look any different.
904
00:59:15,999 --> 00:59:19,196
The grass is much greener on this side.
905
00:59:19,269 --> 00:59:21,703
It is much greener.
906
00:59:27,811 --> 00:59:29,608
Oh, boy.
907
00:59:33,150 --> 00:59:36,176
You can relax, honey.
You're doing just fine.
908
00:59:39,756 --> 00:59:43,385
Gonna be hot today. The girls will
have to wipe me off the floorboards.
909
00:59:43,460 --> 00:59:46,361
Yeah, I'm starting to broil.
910
00:59:48,532 --> 00:59:50,523
Doesn't feel that hot outside.
911
00:59:50,601 --> 00:59:53,536
- Do we have the heater on?
- No.
912
00:59:53,604 --> 00:59:55,435
Let me put the fan on.
913
00:59:57,808 --> 01:00:00,504
That's even worse. Turn it off.
914
01:00:05,048 --> 01:00:07,243
I think the car's overheated.
915
01:00:08,018 --> 01:00:11,419
- Oh, my Scott.
- Maybe we should pull over.
916
01:00:13,190 --> 01:00:16,523
There's a town in a few miles.
I'm sure there's a gas station.
917
01:00:16,593 --> 01:00:19,721
I don't think we're supposed
to drive when the engine's hot.
918
01:00:19,796 --> 01:00:21,320
I say we keep going.
919
01:00:22,699 --> 01:00:25,293
Oar's gonna be just fine.
920
01:00:39,516 --> 01:00:41,711
- Hello?
- Ma'am.
921
01:00:46,256 --> 01:00:48,724
- Overheated?
- Yes.
922
01:00:51,495 --> 01:00:54,589
Fan belt's gone. When's the
last time you had it replaced?
923
01:00:54,665 --> 01:00:57,259
Oh, I don't know.
It's my husband's car.
924
01:00:57,334 --> 01:00:59,928
How long will it take to fix?
925
01:01:00,003 --> 01:01:04,269
Take at least an hour for the radiator
to cool down enough for me to open it.
926
01:01:04,841 --> 01:01:06,706
After that, who knows.
927
01:01:06,777 --> 01:01:08,438
Depends on what the damage is.
928
01:01:08,512 --> 01:01:10,070
Make yourself at home.
929
01:01:10,147 --> 01:01:14,277
Alrighty. Well, come on, Tuff.
I'll buy you a pop.
930
01:01:17,487 --> 01:01:21,287
I bet Dad knew that fan belt was rotten
and didn't replace it on purpose.
931
01:01:21,358 --> 01:01:23,724
Oh, honey,
932
01:01:23,794 --> 01:01:26,422
your father's careless
but he's not mean.
933
01:01:26,496 --> 01:01:29,192
I'm sure he just
didn't bother to check.
934
01:01:34,137 --> 01:01:36,833
Do you ever wish
you'd never married him?
935
01:01:36,907 --> 01:01:39,375
My gosh, Tuff.
936
01:01:40,277 --> 01:01:41,574
Do you?
937
01:01:53,190 --> 01:01:56,717
- No, I don't have any regrets.
- Oome on, Mom.
938
01:01:56,793 --> 01:01:59,125
You've been stuck
in a house for 20 years
939
01:01:59,196 --> 01:02:01,994
cooking and cleaning
and taking care of crappy kids.
940
01:02:02,065 --> 01:02:04,966
Don't use that word.
Especially in regards to yourself.
941
01:02:05,035 --> 01:02:08,004
But you could be living in a city,
writing for a newspaper,
942
01:02:08,071 --> 01:02:09,732
having an interesting life.
943
01:02:09,806 --> 01:02:12,001
I do have an interesting life.
944
01:02:12,075 --> 01:02:13,940
Your life stinks.
945
01:02:14,011 --> 01:02:15,979
Gosh, Mom, just look at today.
946
01:02:16,046 --> 01:02:20,506
You finally get a chance to go somewhere
and the lousy car breaks down.
947
01:02:20,584 --> 01:02:22,211
It's not fair.
948
01:02:22,286 --> 01:02:24,379
If I were you,
I'd be angry all the time.
949
01:02:24,454 --> 01:02:27,480
Well, that wouldn't do me
any good now, would it?
950
01:02:27,557 --> 01:02:30,424
For gosh sakes, you're only human.
951
01:02:30,494 --> 01:02:33,088
Oh, sweetheart.
952
01:02:36,667 --> 01:02:39,158
Maybe I'm meant
to make it to the Affadaisies,
953
01:02:40,570 --> 01:02:42,902
and maybe I'm not.
954
01:02:43,340 --> 01:02:47,037
But right now,
I'm sitting here in the shade
955
01:02:47,110 --> 01:02:50,671
having a conversation
with my wonderfully feisty daughter,
956
01:02:50,747 --> 01:02:55,150
and I intend to enjoy
this moment to the fullest.
957
01:02:55,218 --> 01:02:59,985
And I suggest,
for your own well-being,
958
01:03:00,057 --> 01:03:03,151
that you do the same.
959
01:03:31,421 --> 01:03:33,753
Dortha Schaefer, is that really you?
960
01:03:33,824 --> 01:03:36,349
Oh, honey, get into these arms.
961
01:03:36,426 --> 01:03:39,589
Yes, Virginia, there is an Evelyn Ryan!
Oh, look at you.
962
01:03:40,664 --> 01:03:43,462
I can't believe it, hello!
963
01:03:44,067 --> 01:03:47,969
Welcome to Emma's Ranch
for housework escapees!
964
01:03:48,038 --> 01:03:50,404
Oh, God, it's so good to see you.
965
01:03:50,474 --> 01:03:52,999
Thank you for delivering
your mother to us.
966
01:03:53,076 --> 01:03:55,544
- No problem.
- You have no idea what this means.
967
01:03:55,612 --> 01:03:58,843
Now, you come in too.
That was a big, long drive for you.
968
01:03:58,915 --> 01:04:02,373
- Sure was.
- New driver. Oongratulations.
969
01:04:02,452 --> 01:04:05,546
Look who we found outside on the curb.
970
01:04:05,622 --> 01:04:08,648
We got a stray bird
back in the nest, girls.
971
01:04:08,725 --> 01:04:11,990
Evelyn Ryan, as I live...
and breathe.
972
01:04:12,062 --> 01:04:15,964
Emma Hartzler, you are a vision.
973
01:04:16,032 --> 01:04:18,967
She looks like a giant corn
on the cob, doesn't she?
974
01:04:19,736 --> 01:04:24,173
I finally found my soul mates
with the Affadaisies.
975
01:04:24,241 --> 01:04:27,733
They were the sharpest
group of gals I'd ever met.
976
01:04:27,811 --> 01:04:30,871
We mostly talked shop,
and critiqued each other's work.
977
01:04:30,947 --> 01:04:33,609
- Evelyn, you get on over here.
- Here I come.
978
01:04:33,683 --> 01:04:35,742
With Pillsbury, rhyme doesn't pay.
979
01:04:35,819 --> 01:04:37,377
Only if it's in verse.
980
01:04:37,454 --> 01:04:40,184
But inner rhyme is still valid,
don't you think?
981
01:04:42,993 --> 01:04:45,587
If you spell Pillsbury flour
like the bud,
982
01:04:45,662 --> 01:04:48,654
and not the baking kind,
then you've got a homophone
983
01:04:48,732 --> 01:04:50,256
and don't... need the rhyme.
984
01:04:50,333 --> 01:04:51,732
Oh, love it!
985
01:04:51,802 --> 01:04:54,168
- What's super potato salad?
- Pickle juice.
986
01:04:54,671 --> 01:04:57,902
What's the consensus on hyphenated words
for 25 words or less?
987
01:04:57,974 --> 01:05:01,171
Technically, it is one word.
Don't trustjudges to know that.
988
01:05:01,244 --> 01:05:03,212
They count a contraction as two words.
989
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:07,512
I'm in trouble. I'll have
to knock off a couple of articles.
990
01:05:07,584 --> 01:05:10,553
Why waste space on an article?
Use something with zest.
991
01:05:10,620 --> 01:05:13,350
"The" and "antidisestablishmentarianism"
992
01:05:13,423 --> 01:05:16,756
are both one word,
but which one packs the bigger punch?
993
01:05:17,561 --> 01:05:19,825
What?
994
01:05:19,896 --> 01:05:21,887
Anti-what?
995
01:05:21,965 --> 01:05:25,401
Did anyone else just hear
that word come out of her mouth?
996
01:05:28,171 --> 01:05:30,332
This is why she wins the big prizes.
997
01:05:30,407 --> 01:05:32,875
Oan you sing that?
Let's hear what it sounds like.
998
01:05:32,943 --> 01:05:36,071
We debated whether our days
as contesters were coming to an end.
999
01:05:36,146 --> 01:05:41,277
Did you see this?
No skill involved.
1000
01:05:41,351 --> 01:05:43,785
This is the death of literacy, ladies.
1001
01:05:43,854 --> 01:05:46,584
I don't want to hear that.
It'll never happen.
1002
01:05:49,459 --> 01:05:52,485
This is the last big contest.
Everybody snapped these up.
1003
01:05:52,562 --> 01:05:54,120
I got you the last one.
1004
01:05:54,197 --> 01:05:56,597
Oh, no, you keep it.
1005
01:05:56,666 --> 01:05:59,829
Honey, you've got more kids at home.
Now, you take that.
1006
01:06:01,505 --> 01:06:02,767
OK?
1007
01:06:08,645 --> 01:06:10,806
So, what do you have to do for this one?
1008
01:06:10,881 --> 01:06:14,942
Oh, it's a one-liner.
They want you to finish a limerick.
1009
01:06:15,018 --> 01:06:16,713
"The time of your life you can win
1010
01:06:16,786 --> 01:06:18,777
with Dr. Pepper, the flavor that's in.
1011
01:06:18,855 --> 01:06:22,450
It's distinctive and bright,
it's lively and light.
1012
01:06:24,594 --> 01:06:27,529
There's no time like now to begin."
1013
01:06:28,732 --> 01:06:30,859
Oh, leave me alone.
I'm just warming up.
1014
01:06:38,708 --> 01:06:41,973
- Evening, Rita, Nancy.
- It was a hot one today.
1015
01:06:42,045 --> 01:06:44,206
There was a wonderful breeze in Goshen.
1016
01:06:44,281 --> 01:06:46,215
Well, it was a hot one here today.
1017
01:06:47,317 --> 01:06:49,911
Five minutes to supper, sweetheart.
1018
01:06:50,654 --> 01:06:53,350
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Who locked the door?
1019
01:06:53,423 --> 01:06:57,587
- Hey, you guys, let us in.
- Honey, let's go around the back.
1020
01:06:57,661 --> 01:06:59,356
Row row row your boat
1021
01:06:59,429 --> 01:07:01,260
Gently down the stream
1022
01:07:01,331 --> 01:07:04,823
Throw your dad overboard
and listen to him scream
1023
01:07:04,901 --> 01:07:07,062
Mom's home!
1024
01:07:07,137 --> 01:07:10,129
What are you kids doing outside?
1025
01:07:10,206 --> 01:07:12,504
Well, we went
to the movies this afternoon.
1026
01:07:12,576 --> 01:07:15,101
When we got back,
Dad locked us out of the house.
1027
01:07:15,178 --> 01:07:18,045
He what?
1028
01:07:18,114 --> 01:07:19,479
Kelly!
1029
01:07:22,085 --> 01:07:23,347
Open the door!
1030
01:07:29,559 --> 01:07:32,619
- Where the hell have you been?
- I told you, I might be late.
1031
01:07:32,696 --> 01:07:35,631
- Not this late.
- You locked your kids out of the house?
1032
01:07:35,699 --> 01:07:38,566
Good grief!
Tuff set the table, please.
1033
01:07:38,635 --> 01:07:40,535
You left at the crack of dawn.
1034
01:07:40,604 --> 01:07:42,629
You don't come back
until almost dark.
1035
01:07:42,706 --> 01:07:44,571
What were you doing all this time?
1036
01:07:44,641 --> 01:07:46,768
I was gone for ten hours.
1037
01:07:46,843 --> 01:07:50,074
If you can't take care of your kids
for less than half a day,
1038
01:07:50,146 --> 01:07:52,011
you might as well leave this house.
1039
01:07:52,082 --> 01:07:54,050
You can goddamn be the one to leave.
1040
01:07:54,117 --> 01:07:56,483
Get off of my mother!
1041
01:08:06,696 --> 01:08:09,563
"For picnic or party, Jell-O's a boon.
1042
01:08:09,633 --> 01:08:12,227
Made by nine, all set by noon.
1043
01:08:12,302 --> 01:08:14,827
With taste and shimmer-shake appeal,
1044
01:08:14,904 --> 01:08:18,431
Jell-O jollies any meal."
1045
01:08:29,419 --> 01:08:31,887
Ohrist, Mother.
1046
01:08:31,955 --> 01:08:33,616
You've killed me.
1047
01:08:33,690 --> 01:08:35,749
Death by Jell-O is highly unlikely.
1048
01:08:35,825 --> 01:08:38,589
And I want you to know,
I am not cleaning up this mess.
1049
01:08:40,930 --> 01:08:42,625
Oould you get me some towels?
1050
01:08:42,699 --> 01:08:45,395
Not on your life.
She's not cleaning up after you.
1051
01:08:45,468 --> 01:08:48,062
Now kids, go ahead
and watch TV while I make dinner.
1052
01:08:49,205 --> 01:08:50,536
Go on.
1053
01:08:56,179 --> 01:08:59,706
By the way,
the fan belt fell off the car
1054
01:08:59,783 --> 01:09:01,648
and that is why we are so late.
1055
01:09:03,253 --> 01:09:05,346
Yeah, I was waiting for that to happen.
1056
01:09:08,658 --> 01:09:09,920
What's this?
1057
01:09:11,061 --> 01:09:13,962
Steak. I went shopping today.
1058
01:09:14,030 --> 01:09:15,998
I wanted to make a dinner for the kids.
1059
01:09:16,066 --> 01:09:17,431
Why didn't you feed them?
1060
01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:20,594
I was crying
and didn't want them to see me.
1061
01:09:20,670 --> 01:09:22,638
Why on earth were you crying?
1062
01:09:23,540 --> 01:09:26,634
I thought you decided
to go away and never come back.
1063
01:09:28,011 --> 01:09:31,777
For goodness sakes. You know
I'd never leave the kids with you.
1064
01:09:38,888 --> 01:09:40,617
I got you something too.
1065
01:09:41,558 --> 01:09:43,719
It was supposed to be a surprise.
1066
01:09:44,260 --> 01:09:46,125
It's in there.
1067
01:09:47,731 --> 01:09:49,460
Here you go.
1068
01:09:50,100 --> 01:09:52,193
I found it at a secondhand store.
1069
01:09:52,268 --> 01:09:55,032
I paid a guy at the shop to fix it up.
1070
01:09:55,872 --> 01:09:58,898
It is the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.
1071
01:09:59,576 --> 01:10:04,070
I thought it was about time
you had a proper desk.
1072
01:10:04,147 --> 01:10:06,138
How did you pay for it?
1073
01:10:06,216 --> 01:10:08,946
Oh, don't you worry about that.
1074
01:10:11,554 --> 01:10:13,818
Thank you.
1075
01:10:16,025 --> 01:10:17,492
I love you.
1076
01:10:32,876 --> 01:10:35,470
- Hello?
- Hello, Mrs. Ryan?
1077
01:10:35,545 --> 01:10:39,606
It's Outter Murphy, down here
at Defiance Home Saving and Loan.
1078
01:10:39,682 --> 01:10:42,207
Just a friendly reminder
1079
01:10:42,285 --> 01:10:46,085
to let you know that the second mortgage
is coming due on your house.
1080
01:10:46,156 --> 01:10:49,922
Mr. Murphy, we've never
taken out a second mortgage.
1081
01:10:49,993 --> 01:10:51,517
Oh yes, you did.
1082
01:10:51,594 --> 01:10:54,222
Yes, Mr. Ryan
came down here three years ago
1083
01:10:54,297 --> 01:10:56,765
and signed the papers.
1084
01:10:56,833 --> 01:10:58,596
How much do we owe?
1085
01:10:58,668 --> 01:11:04,197
$4,000, due in 30 days.
1086
01:11:05,508 --> 01:11:07,100
See ya, fellas.
1087
01:11:20,456 --> 01:11:24,017
Hello, Mother.
What are you doing out here?
1088
01:11:24,093 --> 01:11:27,085
When were you gonna tell me
about the second mortgage?
1089
01:11:32,202 --> 01:11:33,931
It's due?
1090
01:11:35,638 --> 01:11:38,971
I had a feeling that day
might be coming up.
1091
01:11:39,042 --> 01:11:40,976
Is there anything left?
1092
01:11:41,878 --> 01:11:43,470
I was gonna pay it back
1093
01:11:43,546 --> 01:11:46,913
without anyone ever knowing about it.
1094
01:11:50,486 --> 01:11:52,920
Is there anything left?
1095
01:11:54,490 --> 01:11:56,151
No.
1096
01:11:57,560 --> 01:12:00,324
It's all... gone.
1097
01:12:07,737 --> 01:12:11,264
They're gonna repossess the house.
1098
01:12:16,212 --> 01:12:18,976
Do the kids know?
1099
01:12:19,048 --> 01:12:21,516
I told them as soon as I got the call.
1100
01:12:21,584 --> 01:12:25,953
I didn't want them
to hear it from anybody else.
1101
01:12:27,924 --> 01:12:29,687
Are they angry with me?
1102
01:12:30,660 --> 01:12:32,992
Right now they're just scared.
1103
01:12:34,497 --> 01:12:37,933
Guess we could
always rent another place.
1104
01:12:38,001 --> 01:12:42,335
At least we wouldn't have
to worry about repairs anymore.
1105
01:12:42,405 --> 01:12:44,498
This is my house.
1106
01:12:45,341 --> 01:12:47,036
My house.
1107
01:12:52,715 --> 01:12:54,546
I just...
1108
01:12:56,352 --> 01:12:58,582
...felt like a drowning man.
1109
01:12:58,655 --> 01:13:02,318
Never being able to catch up...
1110
01:13:02,392 --> 01:13:04,417
I just wanted, for once,
1111
01:13:05,795 --> 01:13:08,229
to have a few extra
dollars in my pocket.
1112
01:13:12,969 --> 01:13:15,870
Well, that's water
under the bridge now, isn't it?
1113
01:13:16,806 --> 01:13:18,034
Where you going?
1114
01:13:18,141 --> 01:13:20,632
I have to make dinner.
1115
01:13:22,078 --> 01:13:24,603
Do you hate me?
1116
01:13:26,215 --> 01:13:29,082
I'm still in shock.
I'll have to let you know.
1117
01:13:40,730 --> 01:13:43,324
We need to talk about what will happen
1118
01:13:43,399 --> 01:13:45,458
if we have to leave this house.
1119
01:13:45,535 --> 01:13:47,901
We may not be able to stay together.
1120
01:13:47,971 --> 01:13:49,529
What do you mean?
1121
01:13:49,605 --> 01:13:52,699
Aunt Lucy said she
could take Betsy and Dave.
1122
01:13:53,209 --> 01:13:55,769
You kids like the farm, don't ya?
1123
01:13:55,845 --> 01:13:58,405
No, I don't.
1124
01:13:58,481 --> 01:14:02,008
What about that old horse of theirs?
You love that horse.
1125
01:14:02,085 --> 01:14:04,645
I really don't.
1126
01:14:04,721 --> 01:14:07,622
- Where am I gonna go?
- Mrs. Bidlack has an extra room.
1127
01:14:07,690 --> 01:14:09,954
There is no way in heck
I am staying with her.
1128
01:14:10,026 --> 01:14:13,018
You'll be right next door.
It'll be like living here.
1129
01:14:13,096 --> 01:14:15,792
No it won't.
There'll be another family here.
1130
01:14:15,865 --> 01:14:18,265
There will be someone
sleeping in my room!
1131
01:14:27,443 --> 01:14:31,140
- How's that steak, kids?
- Don't be rude, answer your father.
1132
01:14:36,419 --> 01:14:38,512
It's good, Daddy.
1133
01:14:38,588 --> 01:14:41,614
Well, it's the last one, eat up.
1134
01:15:21,998 --> 01:15:23,625
What are you kids doing?
1135
01:15:24,333 --> 01:15:27,700
We're praying that you
win something very big.
1136
01:15:29,105 --> 01:15:30,629
All right.
1137
01:15:32,909 --> 01:15:35,002
Don't let me disturb you.
1138
01:15:44,720 --> 01:15:46,654
Times are hard again?
1139
01:15:46,722 --> 01:15:49,282
Yes, they are.
1140
01:15:49,358 --> 01:15:52,020
I'll tell you what.
1141
01:15:52,095 --> 01:15:56,122
I'll leave you the milk, you don't
have to pay me until next week.
1142
01:15:57,600 --> 01:15:59,192
Thank you, Ray.
1143
01:15:59,268 --> 01:16:00,963
Thank you so much.
1144
01:16:02,371 --> 01:16:05,431
I got a bag of laundry in the truck,
just a couple of shirts.
1145
01:16:05,508 --> 01:16:07,169
You know, if you do a good job,
1146
01:16:07,243 --> 01:16:09,575
I could even recommend you
to my customers.
1147
01:16:11,214 --> 01:16:13,273
I don't take in laundry.
1148
01:16:14,317 --> 01:16:16,376
Oould somebody please get that?
1149
01:16:16,452 --> 01:16:19,046
Hey, I'm just trying
to do you a favor, OK?
1150
01:16:19,122 --> 01:16:22,091
- Don't get uppity.
- I have enough for two bottles of milk,
1151
01:16:22,158 --> 01:16:23,989
and that will have to suffice.
1152
01:16:24,060 --> 01:16:26,927
Mommy, it's the detective from Toledo.
1153
01:16:26,996 --> 01:16:30,022
A detective?
There's nothing more I can do for you.
1154
01:16:30,099 --> 01:16:33,466
Oount out the money
for the milkman, please.
1155
01:16:37,540 --> 01:16:38,837
More.
1156
01:16:41,043 --> 01:16:42,635
- Hello?
- Mrs. Evelyn Ryan?
1157
01:16:42,712 --> 01:16:43,872
Yes, this is she.
1158
01:16:43,946 --> 01:16:47,814
I'm interviewing finalists for the
Dr. Pepper "Time of Your Life" contest.
1159
01:16:47,884 --> 01:16:50,216
- Of course.
- Will you be in this afternoon?
1160
01:16:50,286 --> 01:16:51,651
Yes, certainly.
1161
01:16:51,721 --> 01:16:53,848
- 3:00?
- That'll be fine.
1162
01:16:53,923 --> 01:16:57,450
- Do you have our address?
- Yes, I do. That's my job.
1163
01:16:57,527 --> 01:16:59,017
Right. We'll see you then.
1164
01:16:59,095 --> 01:17:01,529
- I look forward to it.
- Thank you.
1165
01:17:01,597 --> 01:17:03,588
What? What is it?
1166
01:17:03,666 --> 01:17:05,327
- What's going on?
- Get out here!
1167
01:17:05,401 --> 01:17:07,733
It's way too soon to be excited,
1168
01:17:07,803 --> 01:17:10,294
- but I am a possible winner...
- What is it?
1169
01:17:10,373 --> 01:17:13,774
Kelly, a detective is on his way
to Defiance right now.
1170
01:17:13,843 --> 01:17:16,676
I'm in the running
for the "Time of Your Life" contest.
1171
01:17:16,746 --> 01:17:19,078
- Is this a big one?
- It's very big.
1172
01:17:19,148 --> 01:17:21,946
We need to clean up. Pick up your toys.
1173
01:17:22,018 --> 01:17:24,111
Get all that stuff off the table.
1174
01:17:24,187 --> 01:17:27,782
Give Mike some money, send him
to the store for some Dr. Pepper.
1175
01:17:27,857 --> 01:17:29,484
What for?
1176
01:17:29,559 --> 01:17:31,891
To show that we're using the product.
1177
01:17:31,961 --> 01:17:35,419
This is my last dollar.
What if we don't win?
1178
01:17:35,498 --> 01:17:37,830
- That's a problem for another day.
- Go, Mike.
1179
01:17:37,900 --> 01:17:41,461
- Get it from the refrigerator case.
- OK, Mom.
1180
01:17:41,537 --> 01:17:44,802
Take all this stuff
and put it on the back porch.
1181
01:17:44,874 --> 01:17:48,833
Stop crying, honey,
and get me a broom for goodness sake.
1182
01:17:55,851 --> 01:17:58,547
Are you employed outside the home?
1183
01:17:58,621 --> 01:18:02,113
Goodness, no. I have enough to do here.
1184
01:18:03,292 --> 01:18:05,317
And your husband, what does he do?
1185
01:18:05,394 --> 01:18:08,158
He's a machinist.
1186
01:18:08,698 --> 01:18:12,259
Do you own or... rent your home?
1187
01:18:12,335 --> 01:18:14,803
We own it.
1188
01:18:14,870 --> 01:18:17,930
One car or a two car family?
1189
01:18:18,007 --> 01:18:19,702
One car. A Ohevy.
1190
01:18:19,775 --> 01:18:23,040
- The one parked out front?
- Yes.
1191
01:18:23,112 --> 01:18:25,808
You need to put
some more air into those tires.
1192
01:18:27,850 --> 01:18:30,410
OK, final question.
1193
01:18:31,754 --> 01:18:33,881
If you were stuck on a desert island
1194
01:18:33,956 --> 01:18:36,948
and you only
had one beverage to drink...
1195
01:18:38,494 --> 01:18:40,894
...what would the beverage be?
1196
01:18:43,432 --> 01:18:44,797
Orange juice.
1197
01:18:44,867 --> 01:18:46,858
Orange juice?
1198
01:18:48,304 --> 01:18:49,771
To prevent scurvy.
1199
01:18:49,839 --> 01:18:53,070
But my beverage of choice
is Dr. Pepper, of course.
1200
01:18:55,611 --> 01:18:59,069
- Thanks for the honesty.
- A pleasure, Detective Feeney.
1201
01:18:59,148 --> 01:19:01,275
When the final decision's made,
1202
01:19:01,350 --> 01:19:03,614
you'll be notified immediately.
1203
01:19:06,622 --> 01:19:10,149
- And when might that be?
- Two weeks to a month.
1204
01:19:10,226 --> 01:19:12,091
Oh, I see.
1205
01:19:12,161 --> 01:19:16,689
- Thank you for coming by.
- The pleasure's all mine.
1206
01:19:21,604 --> 01:19:22,901
Orange juice.
1207
01:19:22,972 --> 01:19:25,634
What kind of crazy answer was that?
1208
01:19:26,575 --> 01:19:30,511
I think your mother did a heck of a job,
what do you think, kids?
1209
01:19:30,579 --> 01:19:33,673
- What if we win and it's too late?
- What's with the gloom?
1210
01:19:33,749 --> 01:19:35,011
We're halfway there.
1211
01:19:35,084 --> 01:19:38,850
Mom, will me and Davey
still have to go to the farm?
1212
01:19:38,921 --> 01:19:42,482
We don't know yet, honey.
It's something we have to prepare for.
1213
01:19:42,558 --> 01:19:45,288
Don't listen to Mom.
She's being modest.
1214
01:19:45,361 --> 01:19:48,387
None of those entries
are as good as hers. She's a shoo-in.
1215
01:19:48,464 --> 01:19:51,797
I'm not a shoo-in. There could
be 20 other people up for this.
1216
01:19:51,867 --> 01:19:54,427
Don't worry, kids.
Everything is gonna be OK.
1217
01:19:54,503 --> 01:19:57,301
No, it isn't.
Even if we do win, so what?
1218
01:19:57,373 --> 01:19:59,034
We'll be as poor as we were before
1219
01:19:59,108 --> 01:20:01,372
because of all
the money you stole from us.
1220
01:20:01,444 --> 01:20:03,173
I didn't steal anything!
1221
01:20:03,245 --> 01:20:05,475
I made an error in judgment.
1222
01:20:05,548 --> 01:20:07,345
Heck of an error.
1223
01:20:07,416 --> 01:20:09,748
You all think this
isn't tearing me apart?
1224
01:20:09,819 --> 01:20:14,051
I did it to pay the bills.
I wanted you kids to eat steak.
1225
01:20:14,123 --> 01:20:17,149
I wanted your mother to have
one decent piece of furniture
1226
01:20:17,226 --> 01:20:19,456
that didn't look like a thrift store.
1227
01:20:19,528 --> 01:20:21,155
I don't care!
1228
01:20:21,230 --> 01:20:24,097
- I want our house back!
- It isn't gone yet!
1229
01:20:24,166 --> 01:20:26,794
So, have a little faith,
for Ohrist's sake.
1230
01:20:30,506 --> 01:20:32,997
Now you've upset your mother.
1231
01:20:38,214 --> 01:20:39,613
You OK?
1232
01:20:51,093 --> 01:20:53,687
If you don't win this one,
there'll be another...
1233
01:20:53,763 --> 01:20:56,664
No, there won't.
1234
01:20:56,732 --> 01:21:00,532
In another year, there won't
be any of these contests left.
1235
01:21:00,603 --> 01:21:03,299
If we lose this house, that's it.
1236
01:21:04,140 --> 01:21:07,974
I can't buy another house with
a three-dollar poetry prize, now can I?
1237
01:21:11,113 --> 01:21:13,911
- You'll think of something.
- You think of something!
1238
01:21:13,983 --> 01:21:17,612
It's your turn to make things right
because I'm out of ideas.
1239
01:21:19,855 --> 01:21:23,689
- Please don't fall apart.
- For God's sakes, I'm not a saint.
1240
01:21:24,994 --> 01:21:27,963
If you can't stand
to see me upset, then go away.
1241
01:21:28,030 --> 01:21:30,089
Let me do it in peace.
1242
01:21:35,871 --> 01:21:37,361
All right.
1243
01:22:28,624 --> 01:22:30,319
Thanks.
1244
01:22:32,194 --> 01:22:35,630
Mom, there are bugs in the soup.
1245
01:22:35,698 --> 01:22:38,098
- I have them too.
- Me too.
1246
01:22:41,770 --> 01:22:44,967
- Those aren't bugs. They're spices.
- They have legs.
1247
01:22:45,040 --> 01:22:47,565
Don't be silly.
Spices don't have legs.
1248
01:22:52,281 --> 01:22:54,545
There are no bugs in the soup.
1249
01:22:55,284 --> 01:22:57,013
Listen to your mother, kids.
1250
01:23:16,438 --> 01:23:18,463
- Hello?
- Hello. Mrs. Kelly Ryan?
1251
01:23:18,541 --> 01:23:21,169
- Yes, yes, this is she.
- Oongratulations.
1252
01:23:21,243 --> 01:23:24,371
You have won a free offer
from Bright Way Rug Oleaners.
1253
01:23:24,446 --> 01:23:27,745
We will give you
our special living room discount.
1254
01:23:27,816 --> 01:23:31,684
Plus, we will clean
one area rug, absolutely free.
1255
01:23:32,955 --> 01:23:34,422
Hello, ma'am?
1256
01:23:34,490 --> 01:23:37,482
We're not interested, thank you.
1257
01:23:38,794 --> 01:23:40,284
It's all right.
1258
01:23:55,778 --> 01:23:57,973
Mommy, what do we do with this?
1259
01:23:58,047 --> 01:24:01,039
Just put it all on the front porch.
Thank you, girls.
1260
01:24:03,052 --> 01:24:05,850
Davey, go outside with that.
1261
01:24:44,526 --> 01:24:45,788
- Hello?
- Hello.
1262
01:24:45,861 --> 01:24:49,262
- Is this Mrs. Evelyn L. Ryan?
- This is she.
1263
01:24:49,331 --> 01:24:52,300
Mrs. Ryan, it's my pleasure
to inform you
1264
01:24:52,368 --> 01:24:54,268
that you are our first-prize winner
1265
01:24:54,336 --> 01:24:56,964
in the Dr. Pepper
"Time of Your Life" contest.
1266
01:24:57,740 --> 01:24:59,002
Oh, my word.
1267
01:24:59,074 --> 01:25:01,235
You've won a trip
for two to Switzerland,
1268
01:25:01,310 --> 01:25:04,370
a Ford Mustang,
his and hers Longines watches
1269
01:25:04,446 --> 01:25:08,712
and cash in the amount of $3,440.64.
1270
01:25:08,784 --> 01:25:10,513
Goodness, well...
1271
01:25:10,586 --> 01:25:14,147
...these prizes couldn't come
at a better time for my large family.
1272
01:25:14,223 --> 01:25:16,919
- Kids, get in here!
- I'm glad to hear that.
1273
01:25:16,992 --> 01:25:19,552
- Oome here.
- You have every reason to be proud.
1274
01:25:19,628 --> 01:25:23,530
Your entry beat out 250,000 others.
1275
01:25:23,599 --> 01:25:26,067
Thank you for telling me that.
1276
01:25:26,135 --> 01:25:28,899
You've brightened my day considerably.
1277
01:25:28,971 --> 01:25:31,405
Thank you, Mrs. Ryan. Good day.
1278
01:25:33,842 --> 01:25:35,434
We won!
1279
01:25:46,522 --> 01:25:48,319
Mom, can we go tell the neighbors?
1280
01:25:48,390 --> 01:25:50,324
You can tell whoever you want!
1281
01:26:02,805 --> 01:26:05,137
Tuffy, it's OK.
1282
01:26:05,207 --> 01:26:08,176
Everything's going to be OK.
We're all going to be OK.
1283
01:26:08,243 --> 01:26:11,235
No, we aren't.
1284
01:26:13,248 --> 01:26:16,547
- For cripe's sake.
- You go outside, I'll take care of her.
1285
01:26:18,020 --> 01:26:21,217
Oome on, let's go tell everybody.
Oome on.
1286
01:26:24,993 --> 01:26:27,086
We won! We won the big contest!
1287
01:26:34,269 --> 01:26:36,829
He's never gonna change.
1288
01:26:36,905 --> 01:26:39,271
You're absolutely right.
1289
01:26:40,375 --> 01:26:41,967
He's not.
1290
01:26:46,849 --> 01:26:50,649
Do you know what that man said to me
on the phone just now?
1291
01:26:50,719 --> 01:26:52,118
No.
1292
01:26:52,187 --> 01:26:56,749
He said that I beat
250,000 other entries.
1293
01:26:58,193 --> 01:27:00,218
And do you know what else?
1294
01:27:01,130 --> 01:27:03,360
It wasn't even my best one.
1295
01:27:06,502 --> 01:27:07,867
Honey...
1296
01:27:09,104 --> 01:27:11,902
Honey, you have your
whole life in front of you,
1297
01:27:11,974 --> 01:27:15,569
and you can make
of it whatever you want.
1298
01:27:16,245 --> 01:27:18,736
You have a marvelous mind.
1299
01:27:20,182 --> 01:27:22,173
And a beautiful heart.
1300
01:27:24,119 --> 01:27:26,781
And you can accomplish anything.
1301
01:27:28,524 --> 01:27:31,357
Everything is possible.
1302
01:27:31,426 --> 01:27:33,485
Do you know that?
1303
01:27:42,371 --> 01:27:44,362
Forgive him.
1304
01:27:46,942 --> 01:27:49,809
Forgive him so you can embrace this...
1305
01:27:50,345 --> 01:27:52,939
...truly remarkable day.
1306
01:28:07,262 --> 01:28:09,787
I love you, Mom.
1307
01:28:13,302 --> 01:28:15,099
I love you.
1308
01:28:45,500 --> 01:28:47,434
I never made it to Switzerland.
1309
01:28:47,502 --> 01:28:50,494
Naturally, I cashed in the trip
to pay off the mortgage.
1310
01:28:51,773 --> 01:28:55,038
However, I did get my chance to travel.
1311
01:28:55,577 --> 01:28:59,479
To Dallas, Texas where Dr. Pepper
made me their own queen for a day.
1312
01:29:00,515 --> 01:29:02,506
However, I was annoyed by the hat,
1313
01:29:02,584 --> 01:29:05,144
as my hair was flattened
for the rest of the day.
1314
01:29:06,788 --> 01:29:09,951
It was the first time I ate
a meal I didn't have to cook,
1315
01:29:10,025 --> 01:29:12,493
on a plate that I didn't have to wash.
1316
01:29:13,829 --> 01:29:17,629
Or soaked in a tub
that I didn't have to scrub.
1317
01:29:17,699 --> 01:29:22,864
Or slept in a bed
that I didn't have to make.
1318
01:29:22,938 --> 01:29:25,907
I never won another
major contest after that.
1319
01:29:26,642 --> 01:29:30,669
Nor did I ever travel much
beyond the Ohio-lndiana state line.
1320
01:29:34,750 --> 01:29:36,047
Drive safely.
1321
01:29:36,118 --> 01:29:38,951
But I'm happy to report
that every one of my children
1322
01:29:39,021 --> 01:29:41,649
got the chance
to see the world beyond.
1323
01:29:44,559 --> 01:29:46,789
I saw them off to Oalifornia,
1324
01:29:46,862 --> 01:29:49,092
Oolorado, Virginia,
1325
01:29:49,865 --> 01:29:51,696
Texas, Florida,
1326
01:29:52,234 --> 01:29:53,701
New York.
1327
01:29:53,769 --> 01:29:56,363
I've watched them
graduate college, play ball,
1328
01:29:56,438 --> 01:29:58,736
practice nursing, practice law.
1329
01:29:58,807 --> 01:30:00,570
Bye, Mom.
1330
01:30:03,111 --> 01:30:07,377
And yes, some of them
have even written books.
1331
01:30:17,426 --> 01:30:21,624
My husband, Kelly, bless his soul,
found his peace, at last.
1332
01:30:21,697 --> 01:30:26,361
He left a legacy of atonement
that, frankly, took my breath away.
1333
01:30:27,269 --> 01:30:30,295
He deposited his pension
checks in a secret account
1334
01:30:30,372 --> 01:30:33,603
that he had opened just for me.
1335
01:30:34,242 --> 01:30:37,541
I never had to worry
about earning another nickel again.
1336
01:30:42,751 --> 01:30:46,414
- Does anyone want these?
- You can have it.
1337
01:30:46,488 --> 01:30:49,048
When it was my time
to take leave of this world,
1338
01:30:49,124 --> 01:30:52,184
all my chicks were there to see me off.
1339
01:30:52,260 --> 01:30:54,421
It was a lovely day, indeed.
1340
01:31:03,672 --> 01:31:07,335
Tuff, you want to take Mom's typewriter?
1341
01:31:35,337 --> 01:31:37,328
Oh, my goodness.
1342
01:31:37,406 --> 01:31:39,840
I believe this was
the last thing I ever wrote.
1343
01:31:41,510 --> 01:31:44,707
"Every time I pass the church,
I stop and make a visit.
1344
01:31:44,780 --> 01:31:46,873
So when I'm carried in feet first,
1345
01:31:46,948 --> 01:31:49,712
God won't say, 'Who is it?"'
1346
01:31:51,086 --> 01:31:53,020
Well, it's not my best.
1347
01:31:53,088 --> 01:31:55,181
But the sentiment is right.
102633
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