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1
00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:07,181
♪
2
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:35,513
♪
3
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,134
[lawnmower rumbling]
4
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:49,310
♪
5
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,316
[burps]
6
00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:00,103
Ah.
7
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:03,324
-[grunts]
-[metal grinding]
8
00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:07,067
[bell rings]
9
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:10,070
'Sup?
10
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,075
[tires squeal]
11
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,077
[laughs]
12
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,123
Okay.
13
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,430
That real woman.
14
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:25,824
[Freddie humming]
15
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:29,132
[whistling]
16
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,700
You know, babe, this new life
has you home a lot more.
17
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:32,875
Ah.
18
00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:36,096
Just a few little
engineer tweaks,
19
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,749
and we're going to get
a ton more suck
20
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,403
out of this vacuum cleaner.
21
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,971
So, yeah. It looks like I'm done
with the kids' chores,
22
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:45,017
and you are tipsy enough to,
maybe, give me a little foreplay
23
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,541
-before...
-You licky boom-boom now.
24
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:49,196
Ooh, is your "frippin' nippins"
wet yet?
25
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,676
What? It's only 3:05.
26
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,591
Shortcut across the creek.
27
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,898
Smells like pheromones in here.
28
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,117
New Glade PlugIn?
29
00:01:58,596 --> 00:01:59,728
TODD: Ah.
What should we watch?
30
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,991
Seal Team Ninja Rock Band Six?
31
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:04,907
I want to watch Hot God.
32
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,996
No, Hot Godis an Amazon show.
33
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:08,693
We're no longer a Prime family.
34
00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,653
[gasps] Ticks!
35
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,307
-Clothes off! Burn a stick!
-Ah...
36
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,526
Ow. Don't hurt them.
37
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,572
Okay, okay, calm down.
38
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,400
Everybody gets ticks.
39
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,837
You know, we never got ticks
on our old, rich side of town.
40
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,186
Just saying.
41
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,709
Does this mean
we can skip classes?
42
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,189
Babe, we got to pull
the kids out of school.
43
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,843
They'll get PTSD on ticks.
44
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:30,454
No, Freddie.
The kids will push past this.
45
00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,195
They'll be fine. They'll go
to school. They'll tough it out.
46
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,197
But Lyme disease
runs in my family.
47
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,503
[panting]
48
00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:36,982
[door closes]
49
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,941
Okay, kids,
where'd you get these ticks?
50
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:42,031
Well, we were playing
in the overgrown schoolyard.
51
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:45,817
Yeah, this poor-ass school
can't afford a groundskeeper.
52
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:50,387
Okay, I guess I'll just fix this
school's tick problem myself.
53
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:51,867
[Freddie panting]
54
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,956
Babe, come on, you got to work
for the school to, uh...
55
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:56,524
I-I don't know,
work onthe school, right?
56
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,613
[chuckles]
Is that a challenge?
57
00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:00,832
Look, I'm just saying,
it's the kids' first week
58
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:02,399
in this new school.
You know?
59
00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,271
We're just getting settled
into this new life
60
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:05,489
on the north side, and...
61
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,578
-Challenge accepted.
-[squishes]
62
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,539
[school bell rings]
63
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:14,455
[pings, beeps]
64
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,021
[sighs]
65
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:19,111
So, guys, I've decided
to keep all the ticks
66
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:20,809
Mom plucked off me.
67
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:23,377
I got them in this tick farm.
68
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,030
That's hamburger
for them to eat.
69
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:28,251
Hey, Shauna, how come you're not
all bit up by ticks?
70
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,600
Don't play in the tall grass.
71
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:30,993
That's obvious.
72
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,299
Play on the asphalt.
73
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,823
But shoes melt there.
74
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,216
Not if you're playing right.
75
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,653
By the way,
who are you, hot shoes?
76
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:39,958
That's Joshathon.
77
00:03:40,002 --> 00:03:41,395
He's the free-range kid.
78
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:43,919
My parents let me
cut my own hair,
79
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,661
and trim my own nails.
80
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:49,403
I've never been to a vaccine.
81
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,274
Yeah, it shows. Ollie...
82
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:52,493
This sad, little freak
83
00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,059
makes even you
look like Stephen Hawking.
84
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,932
JIMJOE:
[scoffs] Says Junior Professor Snape.
85
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,021
You're probably picking up
on my intellect.
86
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,544
Barf.
87
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:03,155
Yeah, I could easily skip,
like, four grades.
88
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,070
But I don't want to leave
my twin sister behind.
89
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,464
And I don't want
to be in high school PE showers,
90
00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:08,683
without my full bush.
91
00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:10,554
So, everyone,
92
00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:14,732
this weekend is the annual
Leaf-A-Thon. [chuckling]
93
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:17,648
The student with the most types
of leaves will win free
94
00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:19,389
all-you-can-eat ice cream--
95
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:22,697
can you believe-- for the whole
family at the Ice Cream Morgue.
96
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,612
Ah, shit.
I'll win that blindfolded.
97
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,309
No, no, Dracula.
98
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,484
I will.
99
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:28,572
[whirring]
100
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,313
[students gasping]
101
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,314
OLLIE: Whoa-ho-ho...
102
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,098
♪
103
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,796
[beeping]
104
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:39,017
Yes. Yes!
105
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:41,150
Do it, baby. Yeah.
106
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:43,021
Do it, you bad, bad bitch.
107
00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,849
Not bad for a rush job, right?
108
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,851
[buzzing]
109
00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:48,853
Ah. [grunts]
110
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,594
[buzzing]
111
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:53,641
I guess I'll just pee here.
112
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:02,171
ALL:
Yay!
113
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:04,173
ALL:
Boo...
114
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,350
[gasps]
115
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:10,048
Boom. Boom, boom.
116
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,964
[grunting, groaning]
117
00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:15,532
Ooh!
118
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,360
-[maniacal laugh]
-Oh...
119
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,362
Hey, great work, in my opinion.
120
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,190
I always love spending
my lunch break
121
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,801
watching my best friend
destroy a school.
122
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,500
[chuckling] Get back to me
after this blows over.
123
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:28,371
-Ciao, baby!
-[sirens approaching]
124
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,981
Man...
125
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,251
[hissing]
126
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:44,474
Please excuse our principal,
Dr. Morocco.
127
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,302
[snoring]
128
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,957
Is he another victim
of my wife's invention?
129
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,438
No, no, no.
Most likely it's, um...
130
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,178
recreational substances.
131
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:54,876
He's a very mysterious man.
132
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,225
But really great...
133
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:57,444
on paper.
134
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,315
Anyway, Harpers.
135
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,579
Normally, your actions would
have resulted in legal action,
136
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:05,887
but this is a poor school,
and the town neglects us.
137
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,629
Know how many schools
got planes crashed into them
138
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:11,066
before the Wright Brothers
perfected their stuff?
139
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:13,068
Yes. None.
140
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:14,635
Absolutely none.
141
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:15,723
Hmm.
142
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,551
You know, while I have you,
143
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,596
I have questions
about the twins.
144
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,902
Is Todd...
145
00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:23,121
trying to be unlikable?
146
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:26,603
And is Ollie perhaps
on recreational substances?
147
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,345
Like, maybe, I don't know,
does she...
148
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,478
-[snoring]
-...know Dr. Morocco?
149
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,349
Ollie just has her own way.
150
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,091
She can make you question why
we even have standardized tests.
151
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:39,442
"Little Plato with Play-Doh,"
is, is what we called her.
152
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,748
[chuckles weakly]
153
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:42,402
No, she's sober.
154
00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,621
Right, and Todd doesn't care
what people think. Okay?
155
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,144
Which is good.
156
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:48,451
-He just sometimes needs a push.
-Or a coddle.
157
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:51,019
He'll end up being president
or a warlord.
158
00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,673
Okay, so, I'm not worried.
159
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,239
I see. Well...
160
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:58,156
That leads us to the parenting
style in the Harper house.
161
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,463
Tell me, which style do you use?
162
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,117
Uh...
163
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,988
Well, uh, it seems, you know,
uh, we've never
164
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:06,861
explicitly discussed
one, singular style,
165
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,515
so to speak, but I...
166
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:11,561
Being the stay-at-home dad,
I set the parenting tone. Yeah.
167
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:15,260
But I swoop in and push
the kids where they need it.
168
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:18,350
I say, let them do stuff
for themselves. Right?
169
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,613
Like make their own breakfast.
170
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,484
Ollie-- make her own breakfast?
171
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,443
[laughs] Please.
172
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,227
She'd make herself
a bowl full of spoons.
173
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:26,663
Well, for the twins' sake,
174
00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:29,318
you two should get
on the same page.
175
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,667
[chuckling]:
Okay?
176
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,713
It might help
balance the twins out,
177
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,889
and help them to be less...
178
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:37,457
extreme. All right?
179
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:38,458
DR. MOROCCO:
No.
180
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,502
No, no, no, officers.
181
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,591
I have my passport right here.
I...
182
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:43,898
Oh. [chuckling]
183
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,465
Charmed, I'm sure.
184
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,514
[bell rings]
185
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:54,909
Yeah, I'm looking for a book
on drone software.
186
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:57,607
Maybe some parenting books.
Whatever.
187
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,740
Hey, what's with the crappy book
in the window?
188
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,524
Got to sell the stuff
people want.
189
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,787
Buy it, I need the money.
190
00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:06,660
Uh, I won't respect you
if you do, but go ahead.
191
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:07,922
Hmm.
192
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,401
No...
193
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,751
Um...
194
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,317
Well, I've read all these.
195
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,276
Ah, no...
196
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,277
Not that.
197
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,496
Um... [inhales]
198
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,062
Aha!
199
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,587
[reading] Pro-Self Care,
Coddle Your Kids.
200
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,850
A perfect backup
for my argument.
201
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,939
Oh, hey. Why are you holding
that dumb book?
202
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,897
I was just wanting us
to get on the same page,
203
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,551
like Ms. Gonzalez said.
204
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,597
Sure. Okay, then.
205
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,514
Isay we find that page
in this
206
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,298
much more correct book.
207
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,952
You know, we never had
this problem
208
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,562
when you weren't home as often,
209
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,782
and I could just parent
the kids mostly my way.
210
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:44,567
Well, maybe now I see
they've needed more
211
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,656
of my style of parenting
all along.
212
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:50,051
[both growling]
213
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:52,706
-[both grunt]
-And throw in a Bitch by the Sea.
214
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:55,317
Who's a little pretty boy?
215
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,405
Yes.
216
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:58,363
Ew. Why do you have
a gray grape?
217
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,540
This is the last tick.
218
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,194
He sucked all the other ticks
to death in the tick farm.
219
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:05,196
Yeah, you got to get rid
of that thing.
220
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,851
Nah, I feel a connection, man.
221
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,940
I'm going to let him
munch me some.
222
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:12,247
There you go, latch.
223
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:13,465
Latch.
224
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,206
[groans]
225
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,382
[groaning]
226
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:18,645
Okay.
227
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:20,211
Ollie...
228
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:23,954
Would you say
you're comforted by this room?
229
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:24,955
Sure.
230
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,435
So it's a comfort zone?
231
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:29,481
And you're in a comfort zone
not cleaning it?
232
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,874
Sure...
233
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:33,355
Then I...
234
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:34,661
hold please...
235
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:37,794
I push you out of that zone.
236
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:39,840
Clean your room, now.
237
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:41,406
And grow.
238
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:46,411
Freddie, what the hell?
239
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:48,631
I was trying
to parent by the book.
240
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:49,850
What?
Ollie had to watch Netflix.
241
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,547
You know how it is.
242
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,244
you got to keep up,
or you're totally ostracized.
243
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:54,594
[groans]
244
00:09:57,205 --> 00:10:00,208
"Only you know when you need
to take care of yourself.
245
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,905
Your kids know
when they need it, too."
246
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,778
Yes. Exactly. Thank you.
247
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,476
Mom said we had to
"get out of our comfort zone"
248
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:10,261
and make a freakin' lemonade
stand for allowance money.
249
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,698
Uh, hold on one second.
250
00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:13,221
Hmm...
251
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,049
[inhales, gasps]
252
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:19,314
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Do not do that.
253
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,403
Rad. Can we watch Netflix?
254
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,318
Yes, do that. Netflix, yep.
255
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,929
And I'll go get you some snacks.
256
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:29,063
[weapons firing on TV]
257
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:32,719
What? Wait, but who's watching
Seal Team Ninja Rock Band Six?
258
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:34,242
DEBBIE:
I don't care what your dad said.
259
00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:36,331
You want money, you earn it.
260
00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:38,072
[groans]
261
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:44,339
Gather around, parents. Sign in.
262
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:46,602
We will begin momentarily.
263
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,082
I know you.
264
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:50,911
You ruined our wonderfully
diverse and rootsy school.
265
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,303
I'm Jame.
266
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:53,696
Yes, not James.
267
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,132
And this is Juniper.
268
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,221
We're Joshathon's parents.
269
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,440
But really...
270
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,703
we're his best friends.
271
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,140
Oh, this will be so much fun.
272
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:06,666
I have so many leaves
already in my pockets.
273
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,624
Leaves, they scream.
274
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,365
Man, I don't want to do this.
275
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:11,496
Me either.
276
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:13,455
Oh, you're both doing this.
277
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:16,632
Honey, if the kids don't want to
do this, I-- let's just go home.
278
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,374
The world tells me
to baby myself with self-care,
279
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:22,594
but at the same time it tells me
to get out of my comfort zones.
280
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,335
Which is it?!
281
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,860
I don't want to wage our battle
of parenting styles here,
282
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,949
in front of everyone, babe.
Okay?
283
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:31,734
Why not? We're just talking
about the biggest stakes
284
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,780
in the world here, our kids.
285
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:35,738
Okay,
I don't know about you all,
286
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:39,263
but I want my kids to grow
into solid, actual adults.
287
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,396
Okay?
So I say, raise them my way.
288
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:42,571
How about you, Jupiter?
289
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,268
What's your house
parenting style?
290
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,227
It's actually Juniper,
291
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:47,924
pronounced Juniper,
292
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:51,623
and we practice the documentary
style of parenting.
293
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,538
No intervention at all.
294
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:54,844
We just observe.
295
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,064
And we document everything
296
00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:59,936
for our 34
social media platforms.
297
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,459
Uh, that's gross.
298
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,157
What about you, Gbenge, Katrina?
299
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,506
What's your parenting style?
300
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,377
Freddie thinks
we should do "self-care"
301
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,902
and I think we should do
"anti-comfort zone."
302
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:11,295
Wait,
you're "anti-comfort zone"?
303
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,733
[chuckles]
Oh, well, that's cute.
304
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,604
But it's all about grit now.
305
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:18,520
It turns out,
grit is what determines genius.
306
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:21,566
Certainly not self-care
or pro-comfort zones.
307
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,786
Why does everyone hate
comfort zones, huh?
308
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,701
Everyone wants you
to just take it.
309
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,224
To take all the bad stuff.
310
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:29,792
You all say,
"Oh, it's just urine.
311
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:32,403
"It's just a flood of bloody,
scummy urine
312
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:34,884
"with doo-doo bubbles
all in it, so be cool, man.
313
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,581
This is just how downtown is."
314
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:39,846
Hey, downtown is
a culturally important place.
315
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,151
You know what I mean.
316
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,240
[indistinct arguing]
317
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,939
Okay, okay, okay.
318
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:49,420
Let's put our parenting styles
to the test.
319
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:50,900
In Leaf-A-Thon.
320
00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:53,294
Most leaves equals best style.
321
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:54,599
PARENTS:
Yeah!
322
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:55,905
DEBBIE:
I get Todd.
323
00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,602
Oh, damn. Here we go.
324
00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:59,213
Okay, I got Ollie.
325
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,301
Rad.
326
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,955
I'm going to stomp you, Todd.
327
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,695
I'm going to stomp
your little balls.
328
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:06,611
I'm the new genius, JimJoe.
So, die.
329
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:07,787
That's the spirit.
330
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,266
Students...
331
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,139
gather as many leaves
as you can until sunset.
332
00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:14,706
Parents,
you can't do the gathering.
333
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,186
-Just the coaching.
-[grumbling]
334
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,536
And there is a point system.
335
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,712
Common leaves
are worth one point,
336
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,714
uncommon ones are worth five,
337
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:26,153
and endangered ones are
worth 25 point-a-roonies.
338
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,719
-[laughs]
-[squealing tires approaching]
339
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:31,288
Oh, and here's your principal
to kick this off.
340
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,290
Dr. Morocco.
341
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:36,032
-[heavy-metal music playing]
-[tires squeal]
342
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:39,035
Yeah, right there,
that's a sketch-ass principal.
343
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,385
All right, let's do this thing.
344
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:43,823
-[gunshot]
-[yelping]
345
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,520
♪
346
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,699
I know what you want.
347
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:52,048
I feel what you feel.
348
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,571
I'm an empath...
349
00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:55,312
Ow.
350
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:57,314
You're part of me now, man.
351
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,099
Hey, Ollie, let's go over...
[gasps]
352
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:00,796
Oh, you're looking pale.
353
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,754
Are you feeling... pale?
354
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:05,496
I am a bit drained.
355
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:08,325
It's like my energy
is being sucked away,
356
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,240
or something, for some reason.
357
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,155
Yes, honey,
you listen to your body.
358
00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,635
Do self-care.
359
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,593
I'll carry you,
and I'll find leaves.
360
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,857
But let's just keep
that between us. Okay?
361
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:20,860
-[Freddie grunts]
-[exhales]
362
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:31,348
It says here the Maple Leaf Oak
is the top leaf to get.
363
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:33,524
Nice self-starting, baby.
364
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:34,830
That's determination.
365
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,179
That's grit, that's...
366
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,355
That's enough, Dad. Chill out.
367
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:39,835
Just proud of your grit, baby.
368
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,532
I'm just proud of your grit.
369
00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:46,624
Here we have Joshathon Jaycock
in the wild.
370
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:49,149
Will he care about
the task at hand?
371
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,802
[hissing]
372
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:53,544
Dad, why is this worm so loud?
373
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,938
-[hissing]
-Dad?
374
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:59,246
It's times like these
one wants to intervene,
375
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,988
but that is not
the way of our people.
376
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,078
Hmm.
377
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,036
[clears throat]
378
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,385
Ah...
379
00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:11,214
Look, there's a rare species.
380
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,737
But there's only one left.
381
00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:14,826
Mom, get over here for a boost.
382
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,785
Mom, we got to get that leaf
383
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,439
before frickin' awful
JimJoe does.
384
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:22,095
DEBBIE:
Uh...
385
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,270
Mm.
386
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,576
Listen to me, Toddie. Listen.
387
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,970
Just use this other tree. Right?
388
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,972
Climb it, and lean down.
389
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,800
It's a little far.
390
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,671
-Trust me.
-[sighs]
391
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,673
-[whimpering]
-[JimJoe grunting]
392
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,414
-TODD: Uh, okay...
-[JimJoe groans]
393
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,242
-Yes. Thanks, Mom.
-[grunting, groaning]
394
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,157
Damn you, Todd,
395
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,767
you cheating creep.
396
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:44,595
Watch it, you rude little kid.
397
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,336
And be nicer to your damn mama.
398
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,903
[gasps]
399
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:50,340
This is just one species.
400
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,473
I'll still win the whole thing.
401
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:55,258
You watch.
Come on, Mom. Hustle up.
402
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:57,043
And do the engine-noise thing
for me.
403
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,088
[imitates engine]
404
00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:01,917
-[engine noise continues]
-[chuckles]
405
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,015
Well, well, well, Mr. Harper.
406
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,974
Oh, Ms. Gonzalez, hey.
407
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,366
Hey, there. Hey.
408
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:19,152
I take this contest
very seriously.
409
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,762
And I know what you're doing.
410
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:23,634
Ollie is disqualified.
411
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:27,464
Get this kid an orange
and a juice pack.
412
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,075
She's limp and colorless.
[groans]
413
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:31,033
JimJoe, get off your mother.
414
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,556
Oh my god, Ollie.
415
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,471
I-I'm so, so sorry, baby.
416
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:35,951
Dude, what?
417
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,954
I'm thrilled this candy-less
trick-or-treat is over.
418
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,175
Yeah, but my parenting style
got you disqualified.
419
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,828
Do... [sighs]
420
00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:46,701
-Do I coddle you too much?
-[groaning]
421
00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:49,791
Oh! My-my daughter needs
a juice pack, stat!
422
00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:52,098
[wind whistling]
423
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:54,056
[Debbie whistles]
424
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,797
That's a high-value leaf.
425
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,973
Get it,
and you beat that JimJoe.
426
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,062
But it's over that scary ravine.
427
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,325
It is just like the one
we just did.
428
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,327
Get out of your comfort zone,
429
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,721
and get way out on that limb.
430
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:07,722
Come on.
431
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:08,984
I don't know.
432
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,203
Todd.
433
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,466
You can win here.
434
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,903
And you can rub it
in all the kids' faces.
435
00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,165
Come on, son.
436
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,168
-[whimpering]
-Yes.
437
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:21,997
[whispering]: Yes, good, good,
good, good, good. Do it.
438
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,520
-[whimpering]
-Go for it. Go.
439
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:24,739
[branch cracks]
-[screams]
440
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:27,916
-[gasps]
-[Todd screaming]
441
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,048
That real woman.
442
00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:35,184
[screaming]
443
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,752
[continues screaming]
444
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,754
Ah...
445
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,843
[gasps, sobs]
446
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:44,411
Oh, my boy.
My sweet fucking boy.
447
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:46,630
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
What did I do to you? Oh.
448
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,154
Mom, uh, well,
449
00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:49,459
I think I'm fine.
450
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,766
-I'm fine.
-Oh, you could have died!
451
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:54,638
Oh, my God.
I'm such a bad mom.
452
00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:57,685
Okay, I am disqualifying myself.
453
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,730
I want to take you
to get medical attention, hon.
454
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,558
-Just to be safe.
-Mom, I feel fine.
455
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,084
Because you fell on me, Todd.
456
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,477
Oh, my God. Are you okay, kid?
457
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:10,654
Um, my head, maybe,
got kicked in a little.
458
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,352
Whoa. Uh...
459
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:14,005
[stammers] Okay.
460
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,746
I'm taking both of you
to see a medic.
461
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:16,834
You for sure.
462
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,793
Listen, I can keep going.
463
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,534
I know a different way
to win this thing.
464
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,405
I just need your phone
for an Uber.
465
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,233
Forget this leaf thing.
466
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:27,584
That scare really
shook us up a little.
467
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,369
Not me. I can do this.
468
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,023
Okay, babe.
469
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,286
Just don't go through my pics.
470
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:34,374
There's parents-only stuff.
471
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:37,028
And hey!
472
00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:39,205
Don't go out on any limbs, okay?
473
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:44,166
Lady, am I taller?
474
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:47,169
My brain is touching
my skull hard now.
475
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:49,954
[birds chirping]
476
00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:53,697
I'll be right back.
477
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,178
My old school.
478
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,485
So clean. So rich.
479
00:18:58,528 --> 00:18:59,964
So me.
480
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,618
I knew it.
481
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,272
The Maple Leaf Oak.
482
00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:05,796
The most valuable,
endangered tree around.
483
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,407
This school has everything.
484
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:11,280
I still don't have enough, and
I bet JimJoe has more leaves.
485
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:12,586
And the sun's setting.
486
00:19:12,629 --> 00:19:14,501
I got to hurry back.
487
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,113
DEBBIE:
Okay. Come on.
488
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,463
Nope. Nope, uh. Steady.
489
00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:23,379
There you are,
and look at all these leaves.
490
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:24,424
You won.
491
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,252
No, he did not.
492
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,514
Yes, he did.
493
00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,342
Here's his trophy we brought.
494
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,387
Yes... ah.
495
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,998
What? This kid needs a doctor.
496
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,304
[whispering]: Look at his head.
497
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,176
No. He decides.
498
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:39,482
Joshathon, are you okay?
499
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,006
If heat rises...
500
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,574
why is Canada cold?
501
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:47,098
BOTH:
See, he's fine.
502
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:49,100
Mm. Hmm.
503
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,190
[slurping]
504
00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:54,323
Hey, what happened to Ollie?
505
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:57,457
She got disqualified
and dehydrated.
506
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,198
But it's cool.
507
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,983
Because sometimes you just have
to let your kids fail, I guess.
508
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:02,766
Right?
509
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,507
You know, Freddie...
510
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,117
[inhales sharply]
511
00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:08,598
...you don't practice
self-care for yourself.
512
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,384
You over-extend so your family--
513
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,212
yes, me included--
514
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,561
can-can-can indulge.
515
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,693
And I see that,
and I do thank you, hon,
516
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:19,130
but you should go easier
on yourself.
517
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:23,570
Yeah, I'll try to make Ollie do
more on her own.
518
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:26,660
But you know I-I love how much
you push yourself.
519
00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:28,314
Right? I-I love that about you.
520
00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:30,185
But...
521
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,796
I shouldn't expect the same
standards from everyone else,
522
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,755
especially the kids.
523
00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:36,365
I know.
524
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,454
-[moans]
-Ah...
525
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,630
Aw. You're my teddy bear.
526
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,763
And you're my stuffing.
527
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:50,510
[imitating engine]
528
00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:52,033
Here we go, kids.
529
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,208
Bring your leaf books up here,
530
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,950
and Dr. Morocco,
and mostly myself,
531
00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:57,299
will tally you up.
532
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:58,692
[panting]
533
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:04,219
Well, it looks like
we have a clear winner here...
534
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,177
-with JimJoe...
-Hold on, there!
535
00:21:06,221 --> 00:21:07,527
Tally this batch!
536
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,180
No way, you are too late.
537
00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:11,008
-Aha!
-[crowd gasps]
538
00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:12,096
Son of a bitch.
539
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:13,794
He's got the Maple Leaf Oak.
540
00:21:13,837 --> 00:21:15,926
And the rest of his book
is full.
541
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:18,146
Well, this is just impressive.
542
00:21:18,189 --> 00:21:21,802
Todd Harper has won
this year's Leaf-A-Thon.
543
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,934
[chuckles] Oh, God.
544
00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:25,719
And now, Dr. Morocco.
545
00:21:25,762 --> 00:21:27,416
[moaning, weak applause]
546
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:31,507
It behooves me
to make mention that...
547
00:21:31,551 --> 00:21:33,509
Lyme disease is a big deal.
548
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:35,424
[murmuring]
549
00:21:35,468 --> 00:21:37,339
In the battle
against fleas and ticks,
550
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:40,299
one can always trust in Leave!
brand flea and tick deterrents.
551
00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:43,345
And we can thank Leave!
for sponsoring and conceiving
552
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:45,304
of the Leaf-A-Thon, as always.
553
00:21:47,001 --> 00:21:49,873
Now, Todd Harper.
554
00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:52,572
Please come claim
your ice cream ticket,
555
00:21:52,615 --> 00:21:54,138
that expires in an hour,
556
00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:56,053
and say a few words.
557
00:21:56,097 --> 00:21:57,141
-[whooping]
-Yeah.
558
00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:58,882
[whoops] All right.
559
00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:02,059
[sighs]
You can all suck my bag.
560
00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:03,974
-[gasping]
-WOMAN: Oh.
561
00:22:04,018 --> 00:22:06,237
[laughing]
562
00:22:06,281 --> 00:22:07,630
I'm super cool,
563
00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:09,371
and it makes you
all mad and jealous.
564
00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:11,373
So suck on my bag,
and deal with your shit.
565
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:12,374
Peace.
566
00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:14,333
[booing]
567
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,335
Impressive dickishness.
568
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:17,684
-[booing]
-Hmm.
569
00:22:21,862 --> 00:22:23,733
How'd you fill up
the book in time, Todd?
570
00:22:23,777 --> 00:22:26,562
I snuck Todd my leaves. Duh...
571
00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:27,998
What? When?
572
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:30,131
When you and Mom were making out
573
00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:31,698
and making up,
like sappy suckers.
574
00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:34,788
See, me and Todd are
yin and yang.
575
00:22:34,831 --> 00:22:37,486
Together we always balance
each other's extremes.
576
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,401
Kind of how your extreme styles
of parenting
577
00:22:39,445 --> 00:22:40,968
don't really work when separate.
578
00:22:41,011 --> 00:22:43,449
You guys do fine together.
579
00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:45,886
Got to get that balance, baby...
580
00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:48,323
[chuckling] So...
581
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,456
let's all go get ice cream
at the Ice Cream Morgue
582
00:22:50,499 --> 00:22:52,240
before this ticket expires.
583
00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:53,807
ALL:
Yeah!
584
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:56,418
I hope they got
steak ice cream.
585
00:22:56,462 --> 00:22:58,377
-[pop]
-[screaming]
586
00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:00,117
-FREDDIE: Oh, my God.
-OLLIE: Oh, no!
587
00:23:00,161 --> 00:23:02,468
I coddled my tick to death.
588
00:23:41,463 --> 00:23:41,855
Chirp.
589
00:23:41,905 --> 00:23:46,455
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