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1
00:00:02,206 --> 00:00:02,826
OKAY I WOULD LIKE
2
00:00:02,931 --> 00:00:04,001
TO THANK TASHA MACK
3
00:00:04,103 --> 00:00:05,173
FOR LETTING ME HOST
4
00:00:05,275 --> 00:00:06,855
THE SUNBEAM MEETING
AT HER PLACE,
5
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:10,275
AS MINE IS CURRENTLY INVOLVED
IN A LITTLE BANK SNAFU.
6
00:00:10,379 --> 00:00:11,789
- WHAT IS A BANK SNAFU?
7
00:00:11,896 --> 00:00:13,656
- GIRL, THAT'S BLACK IN KOREAN
FOR "IN FORECLOSURE."
8
00:00:13,758 --> 00:00:14,658
- OOH.
9
00:00:14,758 --> 00:00:17,238
- NOW,
THIS MEETING WAS CALLED
10
00:00:17,344 --> 00:00:19,314
SO THAT WE COULD WELCOME
THE NEW FACES,
11
00:00:19,413 --> 00:00:20,863
OR AS I WOULD LIKE TO CALL THEM,
SUN RAYS,
12
00:00:20,965 --> 00:00:22,615
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE NOT QUITE A BEAM YET.
13
00:00:22,724 --> 00:00:23,834
UM, BEFORE WE GET STARTED,
14
00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:26,241
I WANT ALL MY RAYS
TO RAISE THEIR HANDS
15
00:00:26,344 --> 00:00:27,244
SO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
16
00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:28,454
MM-HMM.
- HEY, GIRLS.
17
00:00:28,551 --> 00:00:30,281
- WOULD ANY OF YOU RAYS
LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS?
18
00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:32,099
- OOH, I WOULD.
19
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,996
WELL, FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO DO NOT KNOW,
20
00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:36,723
I'M CHARDONNAY,
JASON PITTS' WIFE.
21
00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:38,477
- WIFE NUMBER TWO.
- HUH?
22
00:00:38,586 --> 00:00:40,306
[laughter]
23
00:00:40,413 --> 00:00:42,103
- GOOD O
- LAST ONE.
24
00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:43,406
RIGHT.
25
00:00:43,517 --> 00:00:45,617
AND I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT I HAVE HEARD SO MUCH
26
00:00:45,724 --> 00:00:46,834
ABOUT THE AMAZING WORK
27
00:00:46,931 --> 00:00:48,411
THAT THE SUN BEAMS DO
IN THE COMMUNITY,
28
00:00:48,517 --> 00:00:50,517
AND I REALLY LOOK FORWARD
TO BEING A PART OF IT
29
00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:52,170
AND TAKING THE FIRST STEP.
30
00:00:52,275 --> 00:00:54,275
- OH.
WELL, HERE'S STEP ONE:
31
00:00:54,379 --> 00:00:55,619
RED CUP, Y'ALL!
32
00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:57,174
[laughter]
33
00:00:57,275 --> 00:01:01,825
- SINCE I'M NOT REALLY WITH BLUE
BUT I AM KIND OF A CELEBRITY,
34
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,791
I'M AFFILIATED
WITH A BUNCH OF NONPROFITS
35
00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:05,586
THAT I'D BE HAPPY
TO HOOK YOU UP WITH.
36
00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:07,309
- OKAY, WELL,
WHAT I WANT IS FOR Y'ALL
37
00:01:07,413 --> 00:01:09,213
TO SHUT YOUR BLABBERY
ROOKIE MOUTHS
38
00:01:09,310 --> 00:01:11,930
SO I CAN MOVE ON
TO THE NEXT ORDER OF BUSINESS.
39
00:01:12,034 --> 00:01:13,104
[upbeat electronic music]
40
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:16,096
COCKTAIL TIME!
41
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:17,686
WELCOME TO THE SUNBEAMS,
Y'ALL!
42
00:01:17,793 --> 00:01:18,663
[cheering]
43
00:01:18,758 --> 00:01:19,718
- WHAT?
44
00:01:19,827 --> 00:01:20,997
- [shrieks]
45
00:01:21,103 --> 00:01:24,143
[cheering]
46
00:01:24,241 --> 00:01:27,031
- YOU DID NOT JUST THROW
THIS MUSTY-ASS SHIRT ON ME.
47
00:01:27,137 --> 00:01:29,517
PUT YOUR DAMN CLOTHES ON.
48
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:34,480
[aggressive rock music]
49
00:01:34,586 --> 00:01:37,516
♪
50
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:43,410
- ♪ YOU CAN'T STOP ME STARING,
UNDERSTAND AND LET YOU KNOW ♪
51
00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:44,377
♪ YOU ALREADY KNOW
52
00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:45,412
♪ I'M YOUNG, FLY, FLASHY
53
00:01:45,517 --> 00:01:46,827
♪ YOUNG, FLY,
FLASHY ♪
54
00:01:46,931 --> 00:01:48,241
♪ YOUNG, FLY, FLASHY
55
00:01:48,344 --> 00:01:49,624
♪ YOU KNOW THAT I BE YOUNG
56
00:01:49,724 --> 00:01:50,694
♪ I'M YOUNG--
[music stops]
57
00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:51,933
- WHAT THE HELL?
58
00:01:52,034 --> 00:01:53,864
- THE HELL IS,
I FIND IT HIGHLY DISRESPECTFUL.
59
00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:56,335
YOU COMING INTO MY HOME-TEL
WITH A BUNCH OF STRIPPERS
60
00:01:56,448 --> 00:01:57,998
WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A "MAY I?"
61
00:01:58,103 --> 00:01:59,383
- I AM THE SUNBEAM PRESIDENT.
62
00:01:59,482 --> 00:02:00,972
I DON'T HAVE TO ASK ANYTHING.
63
00:02:01,068 --> 00:02:02,858
- OH, IN MY HOUSE, YOU DO.
64
00:02:02,965 --> 00:02:05,135
NOW, LOOK, THESE YOUNG GIRLS
DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE SUNBEAMS
65
00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:07,031
TO HAVE A BUNCH
OF BISEXUAL CROTCHES
66
00:02:07,137 --> 00:02:08,477
ALL UP IN THEY FACES.
67
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,686
SO IF YOU'RE HALF NAKED,
OILED UP,
68
00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:11,143
AND YOU SMELL LIKE BLOW POP,
69
00:02:11,241 --> 00:02:13,141
YOU GOTS TO GO.
70
00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:14,101
COME ON, NOW.
71
00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:15,096
GO ON.
72
00:02:15,206 --> 00:02:16,786
MM-HMM.
GET YOUR G.E.D.
73
00:02:16,896 --> 00:02:17,756
OOH.
74
00:02:17,862 --> 00:02:18,902
ALL RIGHT.
75
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,030
OKAY, NOW GET BACK
TO THIS DAMN MEETING.
76
00:02:21,137 --> 00:02:23,787
AIN'T GOT STRIPPERS IN HERE
WITHOUT ASKING.
77
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:25,786
- WELL, I GUESS I CAN TALK ABOUT
78
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,206
MY BORING EXPECTATIONS
FOR THIS SEASON.
79
00:02:29,310 --> 00:02:31,070
WELL, WE REALLY GOT TO STEP UP
THE SKYBOX.
80
00:02:31,172 --> 00:02:35,002
THAT MEANS NO JERSEYS,
NO SWEATS, NO HATS.
81
00:02:35,103 --> 00:02:36,593
all: MM.
- THAT'S RIGHT, LADIES.
82
00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:39,099
IF YOUR HAIR AIN'T DID,
STAY AT THE CRIB.
83
00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:40,826
AND DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU
IN A PAIR OF SHOES
84
00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:42,481
THAT AIN'T SIX INCHES
OFF THE GROUND.
85
00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:44,026
AND WHEN IT COMES
TO THE EARRINGS,
86
00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:45,717
BIGGER IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
87
00:02:45,827 --> 00:02:46,657
[chuckles]
88
00:02:46,758 --> 00:02:47,618
JUST PLAYING.
89
00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:49,864
BIGGER IS ALWAYS BETTER.
90
00:02:49,965 --> 00:02:53,205
[phone line trilling]
91
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:55,170
- BABY,
I REALLY CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.
92
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,855
BLUE IS GETTING HIS BOYS
HANDED TO HIM.
93
00:02:57,965 --> 00:02:59,375
- NOW, BABY,
THESE HACKS ARE CRAY.
94
00:02:59,482 --> 00:03:00,592
- ONE WHISTLE BLOW...
95
00:03:00,689 --> 00:03:02,239
- NOW, I'M PRETTY SURE
I CAN BE A FOOTBALL WIFE
96
00:03:02,344 --> 00:03:03,624
WITHOUT BEING A SUNBEAM.
97
00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:06,074
- NO, NO, BABY, I TOLD YOU:
YOU GOT TO REPRESENT, OKAY?
98
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:07,102
- [sighs]
99
00:03:07,206 --> 00:03:08,446
- I'M OVER HERE
RE-BLAZING TRAILS.
100
00:03:08,551 --> 00:03:10,381
I NEED YOU TO SET FIRE
TO THE SUNBEAMS.
101
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,902
KELLY WAS PRESIDENT
OF THE SUNBEAMS.
102
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,450
JUST SAYIN'.
LOVE YOU. GOT TO GO. BYE.
103
00:03:13,551 --> 00:03:15,661
- YOU'RE SANDBAGGING IT
OUT THERE, BLUE.
104
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,618
YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE TERM
"SANDBAGGING"?
105
00:03:17,724 --> 00:03:19,484
IT'S NOTHING SEXUAL.
106
00:03:19,586 --> 00:03:22,066
IT REFERS TO GUYS WHO ACTUALLY
AREN'T GIVING THEIR ALL
107
00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:23,722
IN ORDER TO HUSTLE YOU
LATER ON DOWN THE ROAD.
108
00:03:23,827 --> 00:03:25,787
- COACH, I'M NOT SANDBAGGING.
- OKAY.
109
00:03:25,896 --> 00:03:27,516
SANDBAGGING CAN BE SEXUAL.
110
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,340
[laughter]
111
00:03:29,448 --> 00:03:30,928
BUT RIGHT NOW,
112
00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:33,724
LET'S FIGURE OUT WHY IN THE HELL
YOU'RE STINKING UP MY FIELD.
113
00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:35,717
[cheering]
114
00:03:35,827 --> 00:03:37,027
all: OH!
115
00:03:37,137 --> 00:03:38,967
- YOU KNOW,
SOMEBODY OPEN A WINDOW.
116
00:03:39,068 --> 00:03:41,518
THIS KID REEKS
OF UNFULFILLED EXPECTATION.
117
00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:44,380
[all laughing]
118
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:46,623
- UH-OH.
119
00:03:46,724 --> 00:03:47,624
- PIED PIPER.
120
00:03:47,724 --> 00:03:48,694
- IT'S THE THANKSGIVING TURK.
121
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,213
WHO YOU COMING TO GOBBLE GOBBLE?
122
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,450
- SORRY TO INTERRUPT, COACH.
123
00:03:51,551 --> 00:03:52,721
I NEED TO GRAB SAMPSON.
124
00:03:52,827 --> 00:03:54,137
- OOH.
125
00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:55,591
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, DOG.
126
00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:57,719
MAYBE HE'S JUST COMING TO
VALIDATE YOUR PARKING, YOU KNOW.
127
00:03:57,827 --> 00:03:59,167
- UH, GET YOUR PLAYBOOK.
128
00:03:59,275 --> 00:04:00,445
all: OH.
129
00:04:00,551 --> 00:04:02,451
- MAYBE NOT.
130
00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:03,971
- SEE YOU AROUND, MAN.
131
00:04:04,068 --> 00:04:04,968
- YOU'RE GOOD.
132
00:04:05,068 --> 00:04:05,928
[phone line trilling]
133
00:04:06,034 --> 00:04:07,524
- HEY, SUGAR BOOGER.
134
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:09,550
UH-HUH.
135
00:04:09,655 --> 00:04:10,825
MM-HMM.
136
00:04:10,931 --> 00:04:12,001
OKAY.
137
00:04:12,103 --> 00:04:13,523
UM...
138
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:14,790
UH, NEW GIRL.
139
00:04:14,896 --> 00:04:16,376
YEAH, YOUR LAST NAME IS SAMPSON,
RIGHT?
140
00:04:16,482 --> 00:04:17,412
- YES.
141
00:04:17,517 --> 00:04:18,857
- OH, WELL,
I REGRET TO INFORM YOU
142
00:04:18,964 --> 00:04:20,724
THAT YOUR HUSBAND HAS
JUST BEEN CUT FROM THE SABERS
143
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,787
AND YOU WILL NOT BECOME
A MEMBER OF THE SUNBEAMS.
144
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:23,786
- OOH.
145
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,206
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
146
00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:26,310
- I AM NOT.
147
00:04:26,413 --> 00:04:27,723
UM, THERE'S THE DOOR.
148
00:04:27,827 --> 00:04:28,757
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR RED CUP
149
00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:32,242
AND YOUR COPY
OF THE SUNBEAM BYLAWS.
150
00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:33,624
- NOW THAT'S COLD.
151
00:04:33,724 --> 00:04:36,004
- THAT'S REAL.
- THAT'S COLD.
152
00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,693
- GIVE ME THAT.
153
00:04:37,793 --> 00:04:39,313
HAVE A NICE LIFE.
154
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:40,663
[mouthing words]
155
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:41,658
- WOW.
156
00:04:41,758 --> 00:04:43,208
YOU KNOW, AS AN ACTRESS,
157
00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:45,520
I GO THROUGH THE SAME KIND
OF INSTABILITY.
158
00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:47,760
- WELL, LUCKY FOR YOU,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY.
159
00:04:47,862 --> 00:04:49,722
YOUR MAN'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE,
160
00:04:49,827 --> 00:04:53,857
NOT WITH ALL OUR TEAM'S
RESOURCES IN HIS BANK ACCOUNT.
161
00:04:53,965 --> 00:04:55,445
Y MAN.
162
00:04:55,551 --> 00:04:57,341
- SPEAKING OF PEOPLE
TAKING UP ALL THE MONEY,
163
00:04:57,448 --> 00:04:59,238
WHAT ABOUT JASON'S ASS?
164
00:04:59,344 --> 00:05:00,624
- WHAT ABOUT JASON'S ASS?
165
00:05:00,724 --> 00:05:02,074
- GIRL, WE JUST BANTERING.
166
00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:03,592
- DON'T BANTER ABOUT MY--
167
00:05:03,689 --> 00:05:04,549
- LADIES, LADIES, LADIES.
168
00:05:04,655 --> 00:05:05,515
Y'ALL JUST RELAX.
169
00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:06,620
LET IT GO.
LET IT GO.
170
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:08,074
ALL THIS DAMN BICKERING
BACK AND FORTH--
171
00:05:08,172 --> 00:05:09,172
I'M TELLING YOU,
172
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:10,685
I BLAME THAT
ON YOUR LACK OF LEADERSHIP.
173
00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:12,313
YES. OKAY?
174
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,143
WHEN KELLY WAS HERE,
WASN'T NONE OF THIS GOING ON.
175
00:05:14,241 --> 00:05:15,901
HELL, WE'D BE DRINKING
OUR PINOT GRIGIO,
176
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,280
SINGING KUMBAYA.
177
00:05:17,379 --> 00:05:18,379
OKAY?
178
00:05:18,482 --> 00:05:19,762
OR AT LEAST
HEY, SOUL SISTER.
179
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,282
SEE, KELLY PITTS, THAT GIRL
LOVED HER SOME DAMN TRAIN.
180
00:05:22,379 --> 00:05:24,479
- OKAY.
LADIES, LOOK.
181
00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:25,546
AND I'M NO KELLY PITTS,
182
00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:26,825
'CAUSE, SEE,
I PREFER CHRIS BREEZY.
183
00:05:26,931 --> 00:05:28,551
YOU FEEL ME?
I KNOW YOU DO.
184
00:05:28,655 --> 00:05:30,025
- YES.
185
00:05:30,137 --> 00:05:32,207
- BUT, YOU KNOW, I JUST FEEL
LIKE EVERYBODY IS JUST ON EDGE.
186
00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:33,860
NOW, I KNOW
THIS IS A STRESSFUL TIME--
187
00:05:33,965 --> 00:05:36,065
YOU KNOW, FINDING OUT
WHO'S GONNA MAKE THE TEAM,
188
00:05:36,172 --> 00:05:37,032
WHO'S NOT,
189
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,787
SO I JUST WANT TO DO MY PART
190
00:05:38,896 --> 00:05:40,686
IN STRENGTHENING
THIS ORGANIZATION
191
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:44,173
BY OFFERING UP A GIRL'S NIGHT
AT MY HOUSE.
192
00:05:44,275 --> 00:05:46,205
IT'S JUST A COZY LITTLE SPOT
ON THE BEACH.
193
00:05:46,310 --> 00:05:49,340
WE CAN ALL RELAX
AND DE-STRESS AND BOND.
194
00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:52,208
OOH, AND I'LL HAVE MY AMAZING
AESTHETICIANS FROM SPADONNAY.
195
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,280
THAT'S MY BUSINESS.
196
00:05:53,379 --> 00:05:54,859
- NO.
HELL, NO.
197
00:05:54,965 --> 00:05:56,235
- NO,
I DON'T DO SLUMBER PARTIES.
198
00:05:56,344 --> 00:05:57,344
I DON'T DO SLEEPOVERS.
199
00:05:57,448 --> 00:05:58,998
- THERE WILL BE WINE.
200
00:05:59,103 --> 00:06:01,793
[all talking at once]
201
00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:03,516
- I'M IN THERE
TRYING TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY,
202
00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:04,720
AND EVERYBODY IS LAUGHING AT ME.
203
00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:06,167
THIS IS MY CAREER, MAN.
204
00:06:06,275 --> 00:06:07,755
I DON'T NEED THIS
FROM A BUNCH OF LOSERS.
205
00:06:07,862 --> 00:06:10,522
- UM, YOU OBVIOUSLY
DON'T KNOW WHAT A LOSER IS.
206
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,930
THESE GUYS
JUST WON A CHAMPIONSHIP.
207
00:06:12,034 --> 00:06:13,664
THAT KIND OF MAKES THEM
THE OPPOSITE OF LOSERS.
208
00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:14,688
IT'S GONNA GET BETTER, MAN.
209
00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:17,283
COME ON.
210
00:06:17,379 --> 00:06:18,239
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
211
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,214
- [laughs]
212
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:22,340
- OH, THAT'S FUNNY
'CAUSE YOUR NAME IS BLUE,
213
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,788
AND THEN WE'RE,
LIKE, SABER BLUE.
214
00:06:23,896 --> 00:06:25,336
IT JUST WORKS ON SO MANY LEVELS.
215
00:06:25,448 --> 00:06:26,968
all chanting:
BLUE! BLUE! BLUE!
216
00:06:27,068 --> 00:06:28,618
- YO, WHAT?
217
00:06:28,724 --> 00:06:30,484
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
218
00:06:30,586 --> 00:06:31,966
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
219
00:06:32,068 --> 00:06:33,688
YOU'RE GONNA FIGHT
THE WHOLE TEAM OVER A PRANK?
220
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:34,763
- YES!
- NO, NO. NO, YOU'RE NOT.
221
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,212
YOU CAN'T.
YOU CAN'T.
222
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:38,140
ONE, YOU'RE A LITTLE LIGHT
IN THE ASS,
223
00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:40,661
TWO, THIS IS WHAT GOES ON
AT TRAINING CAMP.
224
00:06:40,758 --> 00:06:41,618
- CHILDISH-ASS PRANKS?
225
00:06:41,724 --> 00:06:42,834
- YES, PRANKS,
226
00:06:42,931 --> 00:06:44,521
STUPID TALENT SHOWS,
MOVIE NIGHTS.
227
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:45,790
ANYTHING TO BREAK UP
THE CRAZINESS
228
00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:46,896
OF WHAT GOES ON
OUT ON THE FIELD.
229
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:47,900
IT'S CAMP LIFE, MAN.
230
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,210
YOU GOT TO JUST GO WITH IT.
231
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:50,790
- THEY EVEN PAINTED OVER
CATCHER IN THE RYE.
232
00:06:50,896 --> 00:06:52,136
- KINDLE IT.
- IT'S A FIRST EDITION!
233
00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:53,621
- "IT'S A FIRST EDITION."
234
00:06:53,724 --> 00:06:54,664
LISTEN TO YOURSELF,
YOU NERD.
235
00:06:54,758 --> 00:06:55,618
SIT DOWN, MAN.
236
00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:57,144
SIT DOWN.
237
00:06:57,241 --> 00:06:59,141
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE VETS
DID TO ME WHEN I WAS A ROOKIE?
238
00:06:59,241 --> 00:07:00,521
HMM?
239
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:03,310
THEY HAD A CHOO-CHOO WITH
MY COLLEGE SWEETHEART, STACY,
240
00:07:03,413 --> 00:07:04,383
TOOK PICTURES,
241
00:07:04,482 --> 00:07:09,102
MADE A COLLAGE.
242
00:07:09,206 --> 00:07:11,136
YOU DON'T GET MAD.
YOU GET EVEN.
243
00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:12,721
OKAY?
244
00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:14,447
HUH?
245
00:07:16,655 --> 00:07:17,545
OH!
246
00:07:17,655 --> 00:07:18,545
[laughter]
247
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,025
COME ON.
I'M NOT A ROOKIE.
248
00:07:20,137 --> 00:07:21,827
YOU STUPID IDIOTS.
249
00:07:21,931 --> 00:07:24,521
MY NAME'S NOT YELLOW.
250
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,660
OH, OH, OH, LIKE HOT YELLOW.
251
00:07:26,758 --> 00:07:27,788
- TOUCHDOWN!
252
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:29,516
- OKAY.
YEAH, I GET IT.
253
00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:30,970
I GET IT.
IT'S LIKE A HATE CRIME.
254
00:07:31,068 --> 00:07:31,968
OKAY.
255
00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:33,338
GOOD ATTEMPT.
256
00:07:33,448 --> 00:07:34,338
IT'S NO STACY, THOUGH.
257
00:07:38,068 --> 00:07:39,138
BY, GIVE ME THE RED,OKAY?
258
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,931
MY MAN LOVE HIM SOME RED.
259
00:07:41,034 --> 00:07:42,664
- OOH, NOW, WHICH MAN
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
260
00:07:42,758 --> 00:07:43,688
RICK OR POOKIE?
261
00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:45,863
- WHOA, WHOA.
- OH.
262
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:46,785
- GIRL,
OUT IN THESE STREETS.
263
00:07:46,896 --> 00:07:47,756
I SHOULD KILL YOU.
264
00:07:47,862 --> 00:07:49,142
- AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
265
00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:51,031
I SHOULD KILL YOU AND RICK
FOR MESSING UP MY GOOD SHEETS
266
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,167
THE LAST TIME Y'ALL WAS HERE.
267
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:54,275
- OH, BABY,
IF THEM WAS YOUR GOOD SHEETS,
268
00:07:54,379 --> 00:07:55,409
YOU WELCOME.
269
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,307
- UH, HUSH.
270
00:07:56,413 --> 00:08:00,213
- [laughs]
271
00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:01,930
HOW YOU AND YOUR NAKED PRINCE
OH, SO LIDOING?
272
00:08:02,034 --> 00:08:05,104
- HE IS NOT MY MAN.
273
00:08:05,206 --> 00:08:06,406
- OOH, ALL RIGHT,
LGIRL, HE'S HANDSOME,
274
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:08,657
HE THE NUMBER-ONE DRAFT PICK,
AND HE'S PAID.
275
00:08:08,758 --> 00:08:09,618
HA!
276
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:10,834
I'M TELLING YOU, GIRL,
277
00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:12,341
THAT MAN AIN'T GONNA BE
ON THE MARKET LONG.
278
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:13,998
- LOOK, I'M SURE WOMEN
ARE LINED UP AROUND THE CORNER
279
00:08:14,103 --> 00:08:15,413
TO GET WITH HIM,
280
00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:18,827
BUT WE'RE JUST FRIENDS,
AND I'M DOING MY FRIEND A FAVOR.
281
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,521
- "JUST FRIENDS"?
- YES.
282
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:22,030
- "JUST FRIENDS.
JUST FRIENDS."
283
00:08:22,137 --> 00:08:24,447
YOU REMIND ME OF MELANIE,
GIRL.
284
00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:25,831
"I'M A DOCTOR.
I'M A DOCTOR."
285
00:08:25,931 --> 00:08:27,101
YOU KNOW WHAT?
286
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:30,476
JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY IT,
THAT DON'T MAKE IT SO.
287
00:08:30,586 --> 00:08:33,896
- HEY, YOU,
LITTLE MISS STUCK TOGETHER.
288
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,310
YOU WERE NOT INVITED
TO GET YOUR TOES DONE YET.
289
00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:38,313
- COME AGAIN?
290
00:08:38,413 --> 00:08:39,763
- DON'T GET FRESH.
291
00:08:39,861 --> 00:08:41,341
LAST TIME I CHECKED,
THERE WAS A HIERARCHY,
292
00:08:41,448 --> 00:08:42,378
AND ROOKIES WENT LAST,
293
00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:43,832
SO IF THERE'S ANY POLISH
LEFT OVER,
294
00:08:43,931 --> 00:08:45,721
THEN YOU CAN GET
YOUR NAILS DONE.
295
00:08:45,827 --> 00:08:47,757
- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
SNOOKI.
296
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:50,142
- LADIES, LADIES, LADIES,
CHILL.
297
00:08:50,241 --> 00:08:53,001
NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF KELLY PITTS
WOULD'VE DONE THIS,
298
00:08:53,103 --> 00:08:54,553
BUT, UH, I MADE SURE
299
00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:56,335
THERE WERE ENOUGH AESTHETICIANS
TO GO AROUND
300
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,138
SO ALL THE SUNBEAMS COULD
BE SERVICED AT THE SAME TIME.
301
00:08:59,241 --> 00:09:00,931
- OH, WE GOT A MATH WHIZ,
DO WE?
302
00:09:01,034 --> 00:09:02,174
WELL, HERE'S A PROBLEM FOR YOU.
303
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,445
WHAT DOES ONE
EMPTY CHAMPAGNE GLASS
304
00:09:03,551 --> 00:09:05,481
PLUS ONE
EMPTY CHEESE PLATE EQUAL?
305
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:08,546
A WHOLE BUNCH
OF IRRITATED VETERAN SUNBEAMS.
306
00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:10,895
- YES,
WITH THIS JANKY-ASS PARTY
307
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,100
WITH THESE JANKY-ASS MANICURES.
308
00:09:13,206 --> 00:09:16,096
I CAME HERE EXPECTING
SOME MINX DRAGON TALONS,
309
00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:18,756
AND I'M WALKING OUT OF HERE
IN SOME VIRGIN-PINK NAILS.
310
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,722
IS THERE ANYTHING VIRGIN
ABOUT ME?
311
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,547
- NO.
- THANK YOU.
312
00:09:25,517 --> 00:09:26,617
I WAS ABOUT TO GO TO BED, MAN.
313
00:09:26,724 --> 00:09:28,104
- FOR REAL, MAN.
314
00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:30,236
- YEAH, AND I'M IN THE MIDDLE
OF WATCHING GOOD WIFE.
315
00:09:30,344 --> 00:09:31,554
WHAT?
316
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,715
I SMASHED A COUPLE CHICKS
IN THE CAST, DOG.
317
00:09:33,827 --> 00:09:36,827
JUST A LITTLE TV ASS.
318
00:09:36,931 --> 00:09:38,281
- HEY,
GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN...
319
00:09:38,379 --> 00:09:39,589
AND JUVON.
320
00:09:39,689 --> 00:09:42,169
FIRST OFF, I INVITED YOU HERE,
NOT COACH SPARKS.
321
00:09:42,275 --> 00:09:44,475
YO, I BELIEVE YOU GUYS
GOT TOGETHER YESTERDAY
322
00:09:44,586 --> 00:09:45,616
TO PLAY A PRANK ON ME.
323
00:09:45,724 --> 00:09:46,594
[chuckles]
324
00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:48,209
YOU PAINTED MY ROOM BLUE.
325
00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:50,000
MY NAME IS BLUE.
326
00:09:50,103 --> 00:09:52,343
IT WAS VERY CLEVER.
327
00:09:52,448 --> 00:09:53,898
I'M SURPRISED
I DIDN'T RUN INTO SOME OF YOU
328
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,380
IN THE HALLS OF STANFORD.
329
00:09:55,482 --> 00:09:58,622
NOW, AFTER SPEAKING
TO MY WISE OLD MENTOR,
330
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,864
IT WAS SUGGESTED
THAT I DON'T GET MAD;
331
00:10:00,965 --> 00:10:02,095
I GET EVEN.
332
00:10:02,206 --> 00:10:04,206
SO WHILE YOU WERE OUT
AT BREAKFAST
333
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,450
OR REHEARSING
FOR YOUR LITTLE TALENT SHOW,
334
00:10:06,551 --> 00:10:12,171
I WAS DOING CHARITY WORK.
335
00:10:12,275 --> 00:10:13,515
MATHEY'RE DOWNTRODDEN.
336
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:14,480
YOU KNOW WHAT?
337
00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:15,686
PLEASE, FOR A BRIEF MOMENT,
338
00:10:15,793 --> 00:10:17,283
GO AND ENJOY
SOME OF THE CREATURE COMFORTS
339
00:10:17,379 --> 00:10:19,619
THAT THESE MULTIMILLIONAIRES
TAKE FOR GRANTED.
340
00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:21,104
YOU READY, CAMERA GUY?
341
00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:22,026
GOOD.
342
00:10:22,137 --> 00:10:23,827
ENJOY THE SHOW, SABERS.
343
00:10:23,931 --> 00:10:25,031
GO ON.
344
00:10:25,137 --> 00:10:28,097
GET OUT OF HERE.
345
00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:29,026
- I GOT A BAD FEEL
- YO, THOSE MY SLIPPERS?
346
00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:29,997
- WHAT'S UP?
347
00:10:30,103 --> 00:10:31,903
- NO, NO, NOT MY SLIPPERS.
348
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,860
- OH! OH.
349
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:34,895
- IS THAT MY ROOM?
350
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:35,860
- DUDE, HE'S IN YOUR ROOM.
351
00:10:35,965 --> 00:10:37,785
- YO, I THINK THAT'S MY ROOM.
352
00:10:37,896 --> 00:10:38,896
- AH, MAN.
353
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,480
YO, I JUST BOUGHT
THAT MOUTHPIECE, MAN.
354
00:10:42,586 --> 00:10:45,716
THIS IS SO DISRESPECTFUL.
355
00:10:45,827 --> 00:10:47,027
- YO, THAT'S WRONG, MAN.
356
00:10:47,137 --> 00:10:48,407
THAT'S MY MOUTH--
357
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:51,237
all: OHH!
358
00:10:51,344 --> 00:10:53,074
- WHAT?
359
00:10:53,172 --> 00:10:54,932
HE'S A BULLY, MAN.
360
00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:56,484
- NO, NO!
361
00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:58,616
- HEY, YO,
THAT'S MY TOOTHBRUSH.
362
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,034
- IS THAT YOUR BED?
363
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,897
- THOSE ARE MY WIFE'S PANTIES.
364
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,070
- WHAT?
365
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:04,452
- NO, I DON'T WEAR 'EM.
366
00:11:04,551 --> 00:11:05,521
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
367
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:07,690
SHE LEFT ME.
IT'S ALL I GOT LEFT.
368
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,453
- FOR REAL?
- HE'S A DEAD MAN.
369
00:11:09,551 --> 00:11:10,831
- SO IS HIS MENTOR, MAN.
370
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:11,931
- OH, OH, YEAH.
371
00:11:12,034 --> 00:11:13,314
I THINK HIS MENTOR
IS JERRY RICE.
372
00:11:13,413 --> 00:11:14,623
THAT BASTARD.
373
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,688
[pounding on door]
374
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:17,863
- OPEN UP.
- HEY, OPEN THIS DOOR!
375
00:11:17,965 --> 00:11:18,855
- GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!
376
00:11:18,965 --> 00:11:20,755
- COME ON, YOU DIRTY BASTARD.
377
00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:21,792
- WE'RE ALLCOME BACK LA.
378
00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:23,896
I'M FEELING
A LITTLE BLUE TONIGHT.
379
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,310
- OH, WORD?
380
00:11:26,413 --> 00:11:27,343
[wood cracks]
381
00:11:27,448 --> 00:11:28,378
- HEY!
382
00:11:28,482 --> 00:11:29,382
[crashing]
383
00:11:31,827 --> 00:11:33,897
- HEY.
- HEY.
384
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,620
- SO HOW'D YOU GET INTO
SPORTS MANAGEMENT?
385
00:11:36,724 --> 00:11:38,414
- UNPROTECTED SEX.
- OH.
386
00:11:38,517 --> 00:11:39,717
- OKAY, GIRL,
DON'T COME OVER HERE,
387
00:11:39,827 --> 00:11:41,237
TRYING TO SMALL TALK ME, TOOTY,
ALL RIGHT?
388
00:11:41,344 --> 00:11:42,664
I KNOW YOU
JUST TRYING TO AVOID DRAMA...
389
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:45,758
- YO, KEIRA TACO BELL.
390
00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:47,312
- AND THAT DRAMA'S RELENTLESS.
391
00:11:47,413 --> 00:11:49,343
- YOU KNOW, THERE WAS
A STUCK TOGETHERMARATHON ON
392
00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:50,308
THE OTHER NIGHT.
393
00:11:50,413 --> 00:11:52,863
I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT.
394
00:11:52,965 --> 00:11:55,405
USED TO BE MY FAVORITE SHOW
BACK IN THE DAY.
395
00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:58,587
YOU WERE SO CUTE THEN.
- THANK YOU.
396
00:11:58,689 --> 00:11:59,519
- WHAT HAPPENED?
397
00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,100
- EXCUSE ME?
398
00:12:01,206 --> 00:12:02,476
- YOU KNOW,
ALL THOSE CHILD STARS
399
00:12:02,586 --> 00:12:03,446
START OUT ADORABLE...
400
00:12:03,551 --> 00:12:04,761
- MM.
401
00:12:04,862 --> 00:12:08,452
- AND THEN END UP
WITH A BRICK TO THEIR FACE.
402
00:12:08,551 --> 00:12:09,481
[laughter]
403
00:12:09,586 --> 00:12:10,656
- REALLY?
BRICK TO THE FACE?
404
00:12:10,758 --> 00:12:12,338
I'MA SHOW YOU BRICK TO THE FACE,
YOU LITTLE--
405
00:12:12,448 --> 00:12:13,828
- NO WAY.
406
00:12:13,931 --> 00:12:15,971
- SHE KNOW I'M THE PRESIDENT,
RIGHT?
407
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,718
- LADIES, WE'RE GONNA NEED
THE PATIO, PLEASE.
408
00:12:17,827 --> 00:12:20,517
THANK YOU.
409
00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:22,790
GIRL,
YOU ALMOST WENT HAM IN THERE.
410
00:12:22,896 --> 00:12:24,096
- HELL, YES.
411
00:12:24,206 --> 00:12:26,616
DON'T LET THE CUTE FACE
FOOL YOU FOR ONE SECOND.
412
00:12:26,724 --> 00:12:29,344
AIN'T NO CRAZY
LIKE CHILD STAR CRAZY, TRUST ME.
413
00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:30,658
ASK THE OLSEN TWINS.
414
00:12:30,758 --> 00:12:32,028
THEY TRIED TO STEP TO ME
ONE GOOD TIME,
415
00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:33,617
AND I BEAT BOTH OF THEIR ASSES.
416
00:12:33,724 --> 00:12:34,864
I'M BANNED FROM
THE WARNER BROS LOT
417
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:35,785
TILL THIS DAY,
418
00:12:35,896 --> 00:12:37,026
ME, KENAN, AND KEL.
419
00:12:37,137 --> 00:12:38,167
WE USED TO TERRORIZE THAT PLACE.
420
00:12:38,275 --> 00:12:39,235
WE SET FIRES.
421
00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:42,004
- GIRL, YOU GOT TO BREATHE.
422
00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:43,343
T THESE WOMENDISTRACT YOU
423
00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:45,478
FROM WHY YOU REALLY HERE,
GIRL.
424
00:12:45,586 --> 00:12:47,586
THEY JUST A BUNCH
OF MEAN, NASTY,
425
00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:49,099
HAGGARD-ASS FOOTBALL WIVES
426
00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:51,026
THAT THINK JUST BECAUSE
THEY GOT A LITTLE BIT OF MONEY,
427
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:52,377
THEY CAN BULLY PEOPLE.
428
00:12:52,482 --> 00:12:53,762
BUT NO, NO.
429
00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:55,142
THESE CHICKS
AIN'T GONNA SCARE ME,
430
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:56,661
BECAUSE IF THAT
LITTLE CHEERLEADER
431
00:12:56,758 --> 00:12:58,378
KELLY PITTS
CAN RUN THESE WOMEN,
432
00:12:58,482 --> 00:13:00,242
CHARDONNAY
CAN RUN WITH THESE WOMEN.
433
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,764
YOU FEEL ME?
434
00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:03,072
BUT, SEE, THE KEY IS
435
00:13:03,172 --> 00:13:05,692
TO DO IT WITH COMPOSURE
AND DIGNITY.
436
00:13:05,793 --> 00:13:07,903
DON'T LET THESE WOMEN
DRAG YOU TO UGLINESS, OKAY?
437
00:13:09,137 --> 00:13:11,447
- YES.
I'M GONNA SHAMPOO.
438
00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:14,454
- AND DIGNITY.
- AND DIGNITY.
439
00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:16,101
- ALL RIGHT,
NOW, LET'S GO ON BACK IN.
440
00:13:16,206 --> 00:13:18,166
COMPOSURE, DIGNITY.
441
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,335
LET'S GO.
442
00:13:19,448 --> 00:13:21,758
- Y'ALL KNOW
I WAS SEXTING JASON FIRST.
443
00:13:21,862 --> 00:13:24,172
[laughing]
I COULD'VE HAD ALL THIS.
444
00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:26,445
BUT MY DECOR WOULD DEFINITELY
HAVE BEEN BETTER.
445
00:13:26,551 --> 00:13:28,721
FOR ONE, I DEFINITELY WOULD'VE
PUT A BLACK CERAMIC PANTHER
446
00:13:28,827 --> 00:13:30,687
IN THAT CORNER, OKAY?
447
00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:32,833
- I'M SORRY, JAZZ,
448
00:13:32,931 --> 00:13:35,071
BUT, UM, ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT MY JASON?
449
00:13:35,172 --> 00:13:37,692
- YEAH. WE DID HAVE A BRIEF
STINT BETWEEN THE SHEETS.
450
00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:39,003
KNOWING HIS CHEAP-ASS,
451
00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:41,693
HE PROBABLY STILL GOT
THE SAME ONES ON HIS BED.
452
00:13:41,793 --> 00:13:43,623
- NO, HE DON'T.
453
00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:44,904
- I KNOW YOU
AIN'T COMING UP HERE,
454
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,280
TALKING ABOUT MY HUSBAND.
455
00:13:46,379 --> 00:13:48,589
[women yelling]
456
00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,099
- COMPOSURE AND DIGNITY,
CHARDONNAY.
457
00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,856
COMPOSURE AND DIGNITY!
- SAY SOMETHING ELSE!
458
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,104
URE AND DIGNITY,CHARDONNAY!
459
00:13:57,206 --> 00:13:59,136
SOMEBODY HELP!
460
00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:00,101
- TASHA, GET ON!
461
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,656
- OH, HELL, THAT'S ME.
462
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:02,688
LOOK, NOW, CUT IT OUT.
463
00:14:02,793 --> 00:14:04,033
STOP.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
464
00:14:04,137 --> 00:14:04,997
STOP IT.
465
00:14:05,103 --> 00:14:06,003
CUT IT OUT!
466
00:14:06,103 --> 00:14:07,073
STOP.
467
00:14:07,172 --> 00:14:08,282
ENOUGH!
468
00:14:08,379 --> 00:14:09,719
- HELL, NO.
THIS HEIFER'S OUT OF LINE.
469
00:14:09,827 --> 00:14:10,997
- THAT'S PRESIDENT HEIFER
TO YOU!
470
00:14:11,103 --> 00:14:12,383
- HEY, HOLD UP!
ENOUGH, Y'ALL!
471
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:13,592
YOU KNOW WHAT?
472
00:14:13,689 --> 00:14:14,899
ALL OF Y'ALL
ARE JUST MAD AND SCARED
473
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,140
ABOUT YOUR MAN GETTING CUT,
474
00:14:16,241 --> 00:14:17,791
AND YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR SOMEONE TO BLAME.
475
00:14:17,896 --> 00:14:19,616
AND, JAZZ,
WOULD YOU SHUT YOUR SILLY ASS UP
476
00:14:19,724 --> 00:14:20,974
AND APOLOGIZE TO CHARDONNAY?
477
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:26,593
- CHARDONNAY, I'M SORRY
I SMASHED YOUR HUSBAND.
478
00:14:26,689 --> 00:14:28,519
- MM.
479
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,450
AND I'M SORRY
YOU'RE SUCH A SKANK.
480
00:14:30,551 --> 00:14:32,551
- APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
481
00:14:33,586 --> 00:14:34,996
- ALL RIGHT, VICKY,
482
00:14:35,103 --> 00:14:37,693
DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO SAY TO KEIRA?
483
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,243
- NO, BUT I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY
TO MY HUSBAND
484
00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:40,484
ABOUT YOU CRAZY TRICKS.
485
00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:41,786
- THE HELL YOU DO.
486
00:14:41,896 --> 00:14:44,826
INFORMATION ABOUT THIS NIGHT
DOES NOT BLOW THAT WAY.
487
00:14:44,931 --> 00:14:46,481
HEARING ABOUT
SOME DAMN CATFIGHT...
488
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,476
LOOK, THOSE MEN ARE OUT THERE
IN TRAINING CAMP RIGHT NOW
489
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:50,896
FIGHTING FOR YOUR
LITTLE CUSHY-ASS LIVES.
490
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:51,830
YOU KNOW WHAT?
491
00:14:51,931 --> 00:14:53,001
I WASN'T GONNA SAY ANYTHING
492
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:54,453
ABOUT WHAT I'VE BEEN SEEING
HERE LATELY,
493
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:55,691
BUT I'M SORRY.
494
00:14:55,793 --> 00:14:57,173
THE WHEELS HAVE FALLEN OFF
OF THE SUNBEAM BUS,
495
00:14:57,275 --> 00:14:58,615
AND SOMETHING GOT TO CHANGE.
496
00:14:58,724 --> 00:15:02,074
NOW, FOR ONE,
ALL Y'ALL NEW-SCHOOL SUNBEAMS,
497
00:15:02,172 --> 00:15:04,142
YOU NEED TO START ACTING
LIKE THE OLD SCHOOL.
498
00:15:04,241 --> 00:15:06,001
SEE, BACK IN THE DAY,
WE WASN'T CARRYING OURSELVES
499
00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:09,243
LIKE THEM DAMN CRAZIES
YOU SEE ON LOVE & HIP-HOP.
500
00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:11,724
NO, WE CONDUCTED OURSELVES
AS UPSTANDING WOMEN
501
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,717
WHO WERE LOOKED UP TO
IN THE COMMUNITY.
502
00:15:13,827 --> 00:15:14,827
SO WHERE Y'ALL AT?
503
00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:16,241
HUH?
504
00:15:16,344 --> 00:15:18,484
'CAUSE I GOT APB OUT
ON HORNY, SUBSERVIENT BLONDES
505
00:15:18,586 --> 00:15:20,476
AND SACRIFICING,
BOURGIE-ASS MED SCHOOL STUDENTS
506
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,656
WHO UNDERSTAND THE GAME.
507
00:15:22,758 --> 00:15:24,998
AND WHITE WINE.
508
00:15:25,103 --> 00:15:27,973
DAMN IT, I MISS ME
SOME KELLY AND MELANIE.
509
00:15:28,068 --> 00:15:29,968
- WOW.
510
00:15:30,068 --> 00:15:32,098
- SO HERE'S TO ME...
511
00:15:32,206 --> 00:15:34,586
THE LAST WOMAN STANDING.
512
00:15:34,689 --> 00:15:35,659
MM!
513
00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:36,968
OH, HELL.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
514
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,478
AND THE NEW SUNBEAM PRESIDENT.
515
00:15:38,586 --> 00:15:39,516
ANY OBJECTIONS?
516
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:42,210
DAMN WELL BETTER NOT BE.
517
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,690
THIS MEETING'S ADJOURNED.
518
00:15:48,068 --> 00:15:49,658
- DUDE, WHAT THE HELL
WERE YOU THINKING, MAN?
519
00:15:49,758 --> 00:15:50,588
BUMS?
520
00:15:50,689 --> 00:15:52,239
- [muffled speech]
521
00:15:52,344 --> 00:15:54,214
- BUMS?
- [muffled speech]
522
00:15:54,310 --> 00:15:56,310
- WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
YOU GOT BUM GERMS IN YOUR MOUTH.
523
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,343
- [muffled speech]
524
00:15:57,448 --> 00:15:59,208
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
525
00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:00,310
OKAY.
526
00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:02,103
LOOK, IT'S LIKE A SMURF
HAD A NOSEBLEED.
527
00:16:02,206 --> 00:16:04,096
- [muffled forced laugh]
528
00:16:04,206 --> 00:16:05,856
- OH, MY GOD.
529
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:06,785
AGH!
530
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:07,996
- UNTIE ME, JASON.
531
00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:09,863
- OH, WHY? WHY?
SO YOU CAN GO GET THOSE GUYS?
532
00:16:09,965 --> 00:16:11,095
- HELL YEAH!
- SO HOW'S THAT GO?
533
00:16:11,206 --> 00:16:12,716
WHAT, THEY GET YOU,
YOU GET THEM, THEY GET YOU?
534
00:16:12,827 --> 00:16:13,927
AND IT JUST GOES ON AND ON,
535
00:16:14,034 --> 00:16:15,384
AND NONE OF IT'S HELPING YOU
PLAY BETTER.
536
00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:16,452
- MAN, THIS ISN'T ABOUT MY PLAY.
537
00:16:16,551 --> 00:16:17,901
THIS IS ABOUT
A BUNCH OF JEALOUS CLOWNS
538
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,000
TRYING TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL
BETTER BY MESSING WITH A ROOKIE.
539
00:16:20,103 --> 00:16:21,313
- STOP MOVING AROUND.
IT'S WAFTING.
540
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:22,833
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
IF THAT'LL HOLD UP IN COURT,
541
00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:23,761
BUT I CAN TELL YOU THIS:
542
00:16:23,862 --> 00:16:24,932
IF YOU WERE PLAYING WELL,
543
00:16:25,034 --> 00:16:26,244
YOU'D BE BUDDY-BUDDY
WITH EVERYBODY IN HERE.
544
00:16:26,344 --> 00:16:27,524
YOU'D BE LAUGHING,
HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE.
545
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,790
both: OH, AH!
546
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:30,786
- HEY, I'LL KILL YOU FOOLS!
WATCH IT!
547
00:16:30,896 --> 00:16:31,896
I GOT BOTH OF YOU.
548
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,930
- WE GOT HIM GOOD.
LOOK AT HIM SQUIRMING.
549
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,384
AH.
550
00:16:35,482 --> 00:16:37,032
NOW, YOU SEE,
THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY THIS GAME.
551
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,067
CHAD AND ANDY
MAKE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH,
552
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:41,032
BUT THEY WILL NEVER KNOW THAT,
'CAUSE I'M A TEAM PLAYER.
553
00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:42,477
LOOK AT YOU.
554
00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,656
YOU WEREN'T EVEN WEARING ANY
OF THE STUFF THEY PAINTED BLUE.
555
00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:45,968
YOU THINK
I LIKE WALKING AROUND HERE
556
00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:47,618
LOOKING LIKE BIG BIRD
IN PEE YELLOW?
557
00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:49,074
YOU KNOW,
I THINK ONE OF THOSE DUDES--
558
00:16:49,172 --> 00:16:50,382
I THINK ONE OF THEM
ACTUALLY PEED ON THIS.
559
00:16:50,482 --> 00:16:51,622
- NO, THAT'S THE HOBO CLOTHES.
560
00:16:51,724 --> 00:16:53,004
- THAT'S A GOOD--
THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE.
561
00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:54,103
THE POINT IS THIS:
562
00:16:54,206 --> 00:16:55,476
AS A TEAM PLAYER,
I'M WEARING IT,
563
00:16:55,586 --> 00:16:56,786
AND I'M WEARING IT WITH PRIDE.
564
00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:58,306
- ALL RIGHT, WELL,
I'M NOT A TEAM PLAYER, JASON.
565
00:16:58,413 --> 00:16:59,723
I'M A LEADER.
566
00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:01,827
I WAS A LEADER IN POP WARNER,
I WAS A LEADER IN HIGH SCHOOL,
567
00:17:01,931 --> 00:17:02,861
AND I WAS A LEADER IN COLLEGE.
568
00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:04,475
- HOMEY, THIS IS THE PROS.
569
00:17:04,586 --> 00:17:06,786
EVERYONE HERE IS A LEADER.
570
00:17:06,896 --> 00:17:09,956
WE WERE ALL NUMBER ONE
IN POP WARNER,
571
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:11,478
IN HIGH SCHOOL, IN COLLEGE.
572
00:17:11,586 --> 00:17:13,996
- ALL RIGHT, WHAT ABOUT JU--
- I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT JUVON.
573
00:17:14,103 --> 00:17:16,003
LOOK, YOU COME IN HERE
WITH THIS ATTITUDE
574
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:17,553
LIKE YOU'RE BETTER
THAN EVERYONE ELSE.
575
00:17:17,655 --> 00:17:18,995
YOU START ISOLATING YOURSELF,
576
00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:20,763
YOU CAN KISS YOUR CHANCES
OF SUCCESS GOOD-BYE.
577
00:17:20,862 --> 00:17:23,552
YOU NEED THOSE GUYS TO SURVIVE.
578
00:17:23,655 --> 00:17:25,025
NOW, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO,
579
00:17:25,137 --> 00:17:27,617
BUT YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO BECOME A PART OF THIS TEAM
580
00:17:27,723 --> 00:17:29,593
BEFORE YOU ARE NOT
A PART OF THIS TEAM.
581
00:17:29,689 --> 00:17:31,169
YOU FEEL ME?
582
00:17:31,275 --> 00:17:33,065
I HAVE NEVER SEEN
THAT MANY SKID MARKS
583
00:17:33,172 --> 00:17:34,662
ON ONE PAIR OF UNDERWEAR.
584
00:17:34,758 --> 00:17:37,588
[cheering and hip-hop music]
585
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:43,029
♪
586
00:17:43,137 --> 00:17:44,447
[cheers and applause]
587
00:17:44,551 --> 00:17:45,621
- THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
588
00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:47,214
GREAT JOB, ROOKIES!
589
00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:48,210
IS THAT IT?
SHOW'S OVER?
590
00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:49,930
- YEAH, I THINK SO.
- ALL RIGHT.
591
00:17:50,034 --> 00:17:52,004
WELL, THEN, I WANT Y'ALL
TO WRAP THIS UP PROPERLY,
592
00:17:52,103 --> 00:17:54,283
LIKE YOU GOT A PAIR HANGING UP
UNDER YOUR SKIRTS.
593
00:17:54,379 --> 00:17:55,449
LET'S GO.
594
00:17:55,551 --> 00:17:57,931
- AND THAT CONCLUDES
595
00:17:58,034 --> 00:18:03,934
THE ROOKIE TALENT SHOW
FOR THE SAN DIEGO SABERS!
596
00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:06,624
[cheers and applause]
597
00:18:07,827 --> 00:18:09,307
- HOLD UP. YO! YO!
598
00:18:09,413 --> 00:18:10,413
HOLD UP.
HOLD UP.
599
00:18:10,517 --> 00:18:11,927
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A LATE ENTRY,
BOYS.
600
00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:14,074
LATE ENTRY.
601
00:18:14,172 --> 00:18:15,662
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS...
602
00:18:15,758 --> 00:18:18,788
- ♪ MY NAME IS BLUE
603
00:18:18,896 --> 00:18:22,236
♪ BALLS I KEEP A-DROPPIN',
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ♪
604
00:18:22,344 --> 00:18:25,834
♪ BALLS, THEY KEEP A-FLOPPIN'
UP AND DOWN THE FIELD ♪
605
00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:27,621
♪ EVERYONE IS TIRED
606
00:18:27,724 --> 00:18:28,864
♪ OUR COACH IS SCREAMING
607
00:18:28,965 --> 00:18:31,275
♪ "BLUE,
YOU'RE GONNA GET FIRED" ♪
608
00:18:31,379 --> 00:18:34,969
♪ I MIGHT HAVE TO FALL BACK
ON MY STANFORD EDUCATION ♪
609
00:18:35,068 --> 00:18:39,028
♪ I HOPE IT HELPS ME FIND
A POTENT VACCINATION ♪
610
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,027
♪ FOR THIS RASH
611
00:18:40,137 --> 00:18:42,307
♪ I THINK IT'S A-SPREADING
612
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,343
♪ DOWN MY ASS
613
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:46,138
♪ I LEARNED MY LESSON
614
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:47,661
♪ PLEASE
615
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:49,278
- YEAH!
616
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,099
[applause]
617
00:18:51,206 --> 00:18:53,206
- BLUE!
618
00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:55,970
BLUE!
619
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,408
- [laughs]
620
00:18:58,517 --> 00:19:00,377
SEE, THAT KID'S GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
621
00:19:00,482 --> 00:19:02,692
I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL
HIS MENTOR IS, THOUGH.
622
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:06,143
THAT GUY'S A BASTARD.
623
00:19:06,241 --> 00:19:07,451
MIGHT BE T.O.
624
00:19:07,501 --> 00:19:12,051
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